"An invisible cat-millipede chimera. Most fascinating." Altai gets another beer.
"An invisible cat-millipede chimera. Most fascinating." Altai gets another beer.
"What...how...could such a thing be created? The gods must be crazy....aye, it's not from around here."
The rest of the night goes by uneventfully.
It's morning; what are you doing?
<Stig reaches for his bottle.>
“Oh man, I have a headache ... so, are we going to that manor today? Or did these guys want us to look at lotsa legged cats, or dead whales or something?”
"The manor first. After that - who knows?"
"Urrrgh... yah , manor. Hopefully we dont see any dead smelly zombies .."
*HUUUURGK*
Altai fortifies with a beer for breakfast before the party staggers off towards Piltdown Manor.
The party says their farewells, and is led back to the smudge in the ground where the bullette's corpse was. The group follows a road that gently slopes up into the highlands where the Piltdon Manor exists.
Up ahead, the road slopes upwards pretty sharply. There's two head statues like this, one on either side of the road.
There's no dude with a fanny pack though. Instead there's three ten foot tall purple frog headed "men" with big gouging Wolverine style claws on the back of their hands. Pebbly, purple hides. Smell like fish rotting in the sun. They're about 40 feet out.
What do you do?
"Aw, great, more slaadi. They've obviously seen us, so let's hear what they want." Altai steps forward. "Greeting and salutations," he says in Abyssal. "You are far from your home. Could I ask what you are doing here?"
The three purple slaadi look at you.
"Yih. You could ask...." the first snarky purple answers.
the second one;
"We look for red dragon. Here red dragon comes here, so we come to mate with him or her."
the third one;
"hmm.....maybe we mate with you seven. 5 blues. 2 greens. Yeah.
Lots and lots of new slaads."
"Make a move this way and I'll recycle your bodies into dung beetle feed, after harvesting the choicest parts for my golem. If you're smart, you'll go with the dragon instead. Tell me more about it, willya? Tell me some tales of slaad-dragon, uh... interaction."
They look at eachother,.....then,
"what you some kind of pervert?"
all laugh;
"Okay, that's fine. It's pretty much what we do to you. Punch you, implant egg, few days later,.....baby slaad eat way out of your guts."
"I know that, you f%&%ing idiot. I was trying to be a little circumspect. Now, where is this dragon?"
#1 "Me think circumspect stupid way to be. You must be lowest of the low, even for unslaad. Still, make dumb green when me punch you in your dumb face."
#2 *sighs* "Dragon come here, like coffee beans. NOW, some reason, dragon dead. Somebody kill dragon, and not even mate with dragon first. Stupid......stupid...."
#3 "what circumspect am mean?"
(Whispers to Oso): “We killed some of these guys before, right? Don’t think they were purple though ... how does Altai get his voice to do that?”
the inevitable map....unless you want to have mercy on these freaks. You are close to leveling though. Probably the only reason to justify their existence.
a-w, 1-20.
road is j-m 1-20 and off the map either side.
you guys are at j-m 20 or 21; on the road.
There's two massive Olmec looking head statues; e-i 4-8 and n-r 4-8, they're rounded and 20 feet tall.
The purple slaadi are at lm 7-8, jk 9-10, and gh 9-10.
There's trees at cd 2-3, op 1-2 , rs 2-3, tu 4-5, bc 7-8, vw 7-8, d11, s9, w10, bc 13-14 and rs 11-12.
Might want to do positioning;
I guess there's a bank holiday in England, so it might be a while; IDK.
"I know that, you f@#!ing idiot. I was trying to be a little circumspect. Now, where is this dragon?"
#3 "hey, da dooky head stupid guy call us idiot. Him want die?"
I gotta crash....
Elgan snarls outright at the sight of the 10' tall sladdi. He raises a thin eyebrow as Altai converses in a language that Elgan doesn't even want to try and understand.
"Yeh, How DO he git his voice tah soun' lahk dat?" He echoes.
As the Sladdi make obviously threatening gestures, he simply rolls his neck, loosening his muscles.
Oso finishes glugging on his waterskin. He juist about manages to open his eyes to Beldan's question. "Yes we have taken one before. Might need to align some weapons, if Altai says they are resistant. Gonna need a wand of that soon."
Altai shakes his head. "Bloody hell, it hurts to speak that language. Of course, all that beer yesterday doesn't help either. Oh, and slaadi are creatures made of raw chaos-stuff, so I'd think Lawful weapons will be rather unpleasant for them."
right on....these three look like purple-colored blue slaads. You've never heard of purple-colored blue slaads.
Blue slaads, however, don't have any alignment requirements for weapons to hit them. So it's time for an....educated guess.....
Need positions for Gittik, Stigg's, Beldan and Pip; if somebody wants to call position for Elgan that's cool.....then I'll roll their initiative.
"Hold off on aligning those weapons for a second. I have something I want to try out first..."
Beldan’ll be next to Oso, at L21.
I reckon Elgan's at i20.....
"Hold off on aligning those weapons for a second. I have something I want to try out first..."
“So are we fighting them or not?” asks Beldan. “I assume they want to kill us, right?”
"No....not kill you......motherhood to a slaad will do that!"
“So are we fighting them or not?” asks Beldan. “I assume they want to kill us, right?”
"Hold off on aligning those weapons for a second. I have something I want to try out first..."
"Don' they alwayz chere?"Elgan asks with a final roll of his shoulders.
"Alrigh'. Enough tawkin' wit deh evil, unat'rel, de-men-shun hoppin' frog-peoples. When dew we eat?" He asks, grinning ferally.
“Who are you calling a mother, frogboy?”
"You, o thou pinkborn, papsuckling. Prepare to meet your purpose in life: breedhost to the herokind!"
"Ah, yes, that what they do with those huge claws - they inject eggs into you, which then hatch and become little slaadlings. Or is it slaadpoles? All is not lost if we get infected, though; like most other parasites, they can be removed with relatively mundane magic. Also, it takes a few days, so we can easily get back to town and have the little bastards purged."
Elgan turns decidedly green under his dark tan.
"Dat jes' ain't right!" HE mutters.
;)
"Jah....get purged arrite....and a free liver ectomy to boot when the little gipper gets all ripped out from your gut hole!"
Elgan turns decidedly green under his dark tan.
"Dat jes' ain't right!" HE mutters.
;)
"No....THIS AIN'T RIGHT!!!"
*CENSORED DUE TO PAIZO BEIN A FAMLY WEBSITE OR WHATEVER*
yih....gotta remember to tell the noobZ....pbp is slow on combat but
HEVVY ON DA ROLEPLAYZZZ!!!
"This isn't right," Altai mutters to Oso. "Chaos-stuff or not, there is no such thing as a purple slaad. I'm going to hit these morons with a dispelling formula; I suspect they may be something that is, rather ineptly, masquerading as slaadi. So wait a bit with the weapons charms."
“Oh gawds, that’s digusting.”
"Jah....get purged arrite....and a free liver ectomy to boot when the little gipper gets all ripped out from your gut hole!"
"No wonder the slaadi are at the bottom of the cosmic hierachy when they reproduce like tapeworms. Bah! Your kind are lower than cockroach droppings. Abyssal cockrach droppings, even."
"This isn't right," Altai mutters to Oso. "Chaos-stuff or not, there is no such thing as a purple slaad. I'm going to hit these morons with a dispelling formula; I suspect they may be something that is, rather ineptly, masquerading as slaadi. So wait a bit with the weapons charms."
“But you said these guys are the embodiment of chaos or something," mutters Beldan out of the corner of his mouth. "Is chaos really going to restrict itself to primary colours?”
Elgan looks non-plussed at being shouted at by a giant frog-man. The little elf looks up at the chatty one.
"Ah jes' ain't seein' it. Mebbe if'n ah tuuk a look from yer point o view,..." He sez, then shimmers into a giant Dire Bear. He peers into the frog headed behemoth's eyes from an equal height, then shrugs his furry shoulders as if to say, "Nope. Still don't see it."
"That is a rather interesting question, Beldan. I'll hit them with a dispel anyway, just to be on the safe side."
"This isn't right," Altai mutters to Oso. "Chaos-stuff or not, there is no such thing as a purple slaad. I'm going to hit these morons with a dispelling formula; I suspect they may be something that is, rather ineptly, masquerading as slaadi. So wait a bit with the weapons charms."“But you said these guys are the embodiment of chaos or something," mutters Beldan out of the corner of his mouth. "Is chaos really going to restrict itself to primary colours?”
ROFLMAO!
THHHHHHTOPPIT!You should get a level for that.
You should get a level for that.
"Something just occurred to me. Were you lot spawned by the same draconic process you're trying to imitate? Is that why you look like such a bunch of freaks?"
"No wonder the slaadi are at the bottom of the cosmic hierachy when they reproduce like tapeworms. Bah! Your kind are lower than cockroach droppings. Abyssal cockrach droppings, even."
"Jah....get purged arrite....and a free liver ectomy to boot when the little gipper gets all ripped out from your gut hole!"
Slaad #2...."mmm....them tasty actually."