GM Evil's We Be Goblins!

Game Master Steven_Evil

Oh, I don't feel bad about it - I just figure that a Sickened Goblin would ;-)

this marching order works for me

Mogmurch admires his prize. I don't remember which one he got

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Chief Gutwad real happy with the heroes! They hide real good, but the bestest hider is.... Mogmurch! Gutwad let Mogmurch borrow his Ring That Lets You Climb Real Good! (A Ring of Climbing).But you gotta give it back after you done with quest.

If the last two haven't checked in within 6 or so hours, I'll move us forward. I don't want to start this combat without everyone being kosher for the marching order, because that's a little important for the sn--... I mean, it's important for the goblin song you get to sing. Yeah, that's it.

oh sorry did not realize you were holding for me, I'm good with the order

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Can I please get everyone to post their vital stats in their alias like Chuffy did? Some of you don't even have a profile set up and its difficult to get combat going when I don't have initiatives or perception checks. Thanks!

Uh Oh!: 1d4 ⇒ 4
As you stomp through marsh, singing and cutting down stuff with dogslicers, something sticky and gooey flies out of the trees, and hits Reta!
Web Attack!: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (2) + 5 = 7

Reta see it coming though, and step out of way.
Lotslegs Initiative: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (20) + 3 = 23

Party up, and roll initiatives for me, and please remember to put your info in your alias!

initiative: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (9) + 4 = 13

Mogmurch takes a few steps towards lotslegs, screaming gibberish, and chucks a bomb at it.

bomb, attack: 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (10) + 6 = 16 for fire: 1d6 + 2 ⇒ (5) + 2 = 7

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Initiative: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (13) + 4 = 17.

Will get on that once i get off work gm

init: 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (8) + 6 = 14

Round 1!
Lotslegs--Web (7 Damage)
Chuffy--Up!
Poog--Up
Mog--Bomb!
Reta--Up

Lotslegs look angry Reta not in web, so Lotslegs try again!
Web: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (9) + 5 = 14

Reta laugh because Lotslegs not good at hitting her! Then Mog hollers real good and chucks a big boom, and hits spider real hard with fire and boomi-ness!

Everyone but Mog up!

Chuffy burps, and looks more green than usual.

"Chuffy think you guys got this!"

He then retreats to the back of the party.

Botting Poog and Reta to move this along.

Mog bomb set spider on fire, so Poog holler real loud for Zarongel to see, and then throw some fire of his own!
Attack, Fire Bolt: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (11) + 3 = 14
Damage: 1d6 ⇒ 5

Reta grin real wicked-like, and shoot her bow!
Attack: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (19) + 5 = 24
Damage: 1d4 + 1 ⇒ (3) + 1 = 4

The burny spider fall out of tree, and not move anymore. It's dead dead. Zarongel real happy.

/end combat

You may make a survival check to try to track its lair, since the goblin legends tell of lots treasure there from all the goblins Lotslegs ate.

Chuffy sneaks forward, and hacks Lotslegs head off, scooping out the contents so that he can wear what remains as a hat.

"Let's find where Lotslegs used to hide!"

Survival: 1d20 + 1 - 2 ⇒ (16) + 1 - 2 = 15.

"Yeah! I'll help!" survival, aid: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (4) + 3 = 7

"Did you see? Did you see? My bomb did a good boom this time!"

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Poog Aid: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (10) + 2 = 12
Reta Aid: 1d20 + 1 ⇒ (7) + 1 = 8

It real easy to track Lotslegs' lair down. Just follow the sticky junk. When you get there, you find lots bodies all sucked dry around a pile of dead trees. There's enough to room to go in, if you want...

Chuffy eagerly explores the den.

Perception: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (10) + 5 = 15.

Poop begins to dig around for anything good "Poog wil see if there bes goodys for Poog, you can haz whats Poog donts wants"

perception: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (4) + 2 = 6 HA!

Poog releves him self on one of the many skeletons in this place "Poog not find anything, youz haz any luck with finding shinnys "

Mogmurch follows Chuffy. "Lotslegs sure to have good good loot..." perception: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (5) + 3 = 8

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Reta scrutinizes the room for hero stuff she can impress Chief with.

Perception: 1d20 + 9 ⇒ (13) + 9 = 22

"Reta look. Reta find. Chief be very proud. Maybe give Reta a biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiig pig as reward."

Update coming very shortly. Sorry for the delay.

Map updated.

You find lots goodies! You find 24 gp, a Small masterwork light crossbow with 11 bolts, a single pearl worth 100 gp, 2 potions of cure moderate wounds, a potion of bull’s strength, a potion of bear’s endurance, and a wax-paper-sealed package containing six pieces of
licorice-flavored taffy! The taffy smell real good, and gobs who be sick really wanna eat it! It make stomach feel better just smelling! Eat it to remove sickened condition!

When you leave, it easy to follow map and find ship where all the good fireworks are! You almost run up to the ship-house you see in the marked clearing, where the evil goblin-cannibal-witch-meanie-face Vorka live, but then you see the most bad thing on whole world! HORSE! It no see you though, so you can be real sneaky and kill it good, you think...

Chuffy eagerly grabs the crossbow (and the bolts), then chows-down on some of the taffy.

He also quickly grabs the Potion of Bull's Strength.

Later on...

...when the horse makes an appearance, Chuffy tries to shoot it with his shiny new crossbow!

MW Light Crossbow: 1d20 + 5 + 1 ⇒ (20) + 5 + 1 = 26, for 1d4 + 1d6 ⇒ (4) + (6) = 10 damage.
Crit Confirmation: 1d20 + 5 + 1 ⇒ (8) + 5 + 1 = 14, for 1d4 ⇒ 3 *ADDITIONAL* damage.

Mogmurch glares at Chuffy when he takes the strength potion. he'll take the CON potion if Reta doesn't. He already has some CLW potions so he will only take the CMW potions if someone else leaves them He is pretty happy to pocket the shiny pearl, though.

---

Mogmurch prepares to sneak around the horse, then glares with even BIGGER eyes at Chuffy when he shoots at the horse. He sneaks up to the fence and tries to hide from the horse.

stealth: 10 + 12 = 22 taking 10 under the assumption that even though Chuffy has fired, the rest of us haven't entered combat yet and are therefore not under sufficient duress to prevent it

@Moggy: If you want to (retroactively) cinematically wrestle Chuffy for the potion, I am okay with it - you can take the crossbow only when you pry it from my cold, dead hands, though ;-)

I think Reta is probably the one who should have it--I'll let her have a go at wrestling it from you

Poog moves up ready to kill hims a horse

Just waiting on Reta, since she's the one with the Horse Bane Dogslicer... :)

If Reta doesn't post by the time I get home from work, I will bot her.

Reta burst out of sneaky, and stab horse real good!
Attack: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (18) + 5 = 23
Damage: 1d4 + 3 ⇒ (2) + 3 = 5

Party Up!

Surprise Round
Mogmurch-Up
Poog-Up

Round 1
Mogmurch-Up
Poog-Up
Reta-Up
Chuffy-Up

Stomp

was my previously posted action not my surprise round action?

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This fight pretty much lets everyone move up close before attacking, so no, I allowed you to stealth up outside of combat to get into range. :)

Poog moves calling fire to him hand and sends it to the horse attack: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (8) + 3 = 11 damage: 1d6 ⇒ 3

"horsey burn, horsey die, stupid diedieidie"

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GM can you update the map? You indicated that Reta attacked the horse but on the map she is far away. Mogmurch won't make his brave, daring approach to the horse if Reta is not already next to it

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Chuffy reloads, and takes another shot.

MW Light Crossbow: 1d20 + 5 + 1 ⇒ (2) + 5 + 1 = 8, for 1d4 ⇒ 1 damage

hold up so that was my surprise action and now it tip of the round? Ok

Poog grins and laughs as another ball of fire forms in his hand flying to the horse
attack: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (18) + 3 = 21
damage: 1d6 ⇒ 3

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Ok, so I figured out what the confusion is. Paizo apparently are my post where I listed the stealth checks from everyone (because it seemed like everyone wanted to sneak), the horse's perception, and the first surprise round recap. So, to clarify, since we've already made it this far, some still have surprise round actions, and some are in round one. Once everyone has finished out the surprise round, I'll recap, and then the same for round 1. Then, we'll begin round 2 and everything should be confusion-free from that point. Mog, I had edited the map when Reta attacked, but either it didn't save or someone edited it back because Reta is still where she started. I'm on my phone, so I can't edit the map (though WBG 2 will be in slides), but she is supposed the be in the square above the horse, on the left side.

Mogmurch climbs over the fence and comes right up to the horse, then chucks an Alchemist's Fire at it.

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Ugly horse not even know what happened! Goblin heroes real good, smash horse before it can smash back! Now nothing stand between goblins heroes and ugly boat house!

Any last preparations before heading into the boat and recovering your fireworks for the chief?

Mogmurch jumps up and down, cheering. "We did it! We are real goblin heroes!"

no preparations here

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Giving the others a chance to decide what preparations they want to make before the big fight!

I'm good

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actually, Mogmurch will probably drink his Shield extract

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I'm good - the rogue doesn't exactly have a lot of buffs... apart from the fiery potion, which he will chug down (since it is good for an hour).

Big nasty horse dead! You cheer for a minute, then Chuffy point. There's a nasty, nasty hornet nest tied to rope over bridge-onto-boat! It be trapped! Worse, cheering musta woke up some dogs, cause now you hear barking from the deck!

What are you going to do? Walking up the gangplank will trigger the trap...

Chuffy moves forward, and attempts to disable the trap.

Disable Device: 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (10) + 8 = 18.

Mogmurch pulls out some alchemist's fire in preparation to deal with the dogs.

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Chuffy able to keep wasp nest from falling! Even better, Chuffy now got wasp nest unhooked, and now has wasp-grenade! He laugh evilly as he skips over to wall of ship, and tosses wasp-grenade at dogs! It blow up, and wasps attack dogs like crazy, until dogs break chains and run off into marsh, right by goblin heroes! Reta get a good stab in as one go by!

With dogs gone, goblins hear a croaky voice from inside ship cabin!
What all that racket? Who come to see Vorka? I eat you and blow you up with my fire sticks!!

"No! I blow you up first!" Mogmurch yells as he runs up and tosses his alchemist's fire inside the ship.

Mog runs up to the cabin, and tosses his alchemist's fire in! Right before big boom, he see strange sight: A ugly goblin woman in a big dumb hat, and a big giant frog! The ugly goblin woman has big firework pointed at door, and sparks coming out back of it!
Attack: 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (12) + 6 = 18
Damage: 1d6 ⇒ 5

He hit the ugly goblin woman, AND her big dumb hat! The ugly goblin woman cackle maniacally and shoot her firework at Mog!
Look Lord Longtung! More food for us! Their ears will taste delicious stewed with ground up spider hair!
Attack: 1d20 + 1 ⇒ (9) + 1 = 10

She miss though, and the rest of the goblin heroes get to attack!

That was sort of a "surprise round" to set up how crazy this b!#%! is.

Round 1
Mog
Poog
Chuffy
Reta

Vorka (5)
Lord Longtung

Chuffy eagerly moves forward, and, peering around the corner, burps a great gout of flame at Vorka.

Elixir of Fire Breath: 4d6 ⇒ (4, 5, 3, 4) = 16 Fire damage. DC 13 Reflex save for half.