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Akh listens to the impassioned arguments from Guess and, in a twist, says "Actually I think Melissa has it right this time. Everything we did just ended up with more people coming to kill us, and our foes were even worse. This whole 'have the super valuable thing people want while making a lot of enemies' plan never seems to work out well for anyone." Akh nods "If you want to try your luck some more with the whole crime syndicate thing, you're welcome to, but it seems extra doomed to me. And I know when things look doomed."
"We've snuffed our worst enemies, and right this very moment have a few intact bridges instead of mostly burned ones. So if there's any time to disappear, it's probably now. Leaving behind a bunch of people who owe you, rather than the other way around, seems good."
"A little gym on Absalom Station or a farm out in the vast are sounding pretty cozy to me."
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When he gets a chance, he goes to see if he can get a cool commemorative tattoo from Shaieth. Nothing transcendentally destructive - just a uniquely cool little marking to remember this journey.
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Melissa looks at Guess?'s puppy dog eyes and hands him an airsick bag.
Vlaaka do it better. Absolutely not. Who's left that wants to kill us? EJ bought us out. Sinjins toast, his brother helped us off him so I'm not seeing any revenge there. You squared things up with the berry guy. And this is the reason we did NOT **chitter** with the spooky black ops corporate government data we found. And either I'll smooth things over for Dreggor or he won't be a problem I don't see a lot of in between there.
She sighs. "Look Guess?You're not going to stop being family... the annoying little brother I thankfully never had... just because we split up. I've got a lot of family I don't see all the time. They're still family. Some of them do things a LOT worse than you...
She unrolls Moms Veskarium wanted poster. Dishonorable combat. Tampering with a water supply. chemical warfare. Biological warfare. Nanite warfare. Use of wildlife to spread biological agents. Assassination outside of designated combat zones. Adulteration of food substances. Destruction of medical facilities.
" and NO that was NOT a challenge... "
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Guess? listens to everyone's perspective and acknowledges it.
"Can't say I'm not disappointed. But it's fair. Everyone is absolutely free to pursue what's best for themself. And agreed, you guys will always be family even as we go our own ways.
"If you guys ever need a favor, whether it is technically legal or not, call me anytime. And when you need a place to hide out when trouble finds you (as it inevitably will), you'll always have a home with me to crash at... on Apostae."
Guess? winks.
When Guess? sees Melissa's mom's wanted poster, he looks starstruck as if the greatest celebrity in the universe just acknowledged his existence.
"Clearly you've been raised wrong! Wow! Your mom's awesome!
"Hey, is your mom single? Howzabout sharing dem digits???"
After Melissa has finished rebuking Guess?, he turns to the topic of the moon.
"Welp, since y'all ain't doin the right thing by divin into a life of gray-ish but not-so-bad-really crime, we're not gunna need this moon as our personal fiefdom.
"Alrighty, I agree. We give this domain back to the bear. I'm gunna have to give him a few tips on how to maintain tighter authoritarian control though. Well, once he pays the first installment on my monthly fee, that is. Amirite?!?!"
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"And Guess, if you need us to fish you out of trouble... uh, well. I think you can get in a lot of trouble. Maybe more trouble than we can resolve. Actually, definitely more." Akh speculates "Maybe we can plant you in the ground to help you evade your speculative investment victims. If you grew into a tree that would probably get them off your scent."
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has to ask the Nuar "Isn't a pilates gym just a room?"
Yes, but with an energetic teacher! This one has a cheeky pirate theme!
"Maybe we can plant you in the ground"
[b]"Hey, in your past life, didn't you literally work as an assassin?" asks Guess? quizzically with an eyebrow raised.
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" If you survive the drow you might be able to give dad a run for his money. I'm not sure if moms scarier being wanted for war crimes or dad's scarier NOT being wanted for warcrimes.. "
What would happen if Zinaida Portnova and Simo Hayha got together to compare notes, fell in love on the job, and were interrupted by the arrival of the swarm... And also were snarky space rats but honestly that seems to be the smallest change...
Melissa nods at Akh then tells Guess? " When you come running, we want 1 minute of warning for every bullet, laser blast, or level of spell following your keister to kill you. "
"Maybe keep the ship for a year? I'd expect after then the trick with it being bigger on the inside will stop letting you smuggle in the fun drugs once the inspection crews start pulling out analog measuring tapes. Then come drop it off, and bring Jaraduk for a visit.. Del and Strek too if they don't RUN when you call. And we can use it to haul produce back and forth along with **chitter** our colony can't make...yet."
has to ask the Nuar "Isn't a pilates gym just a room?"Yes, but with an energetic teacher! This one has a cheeky pirate theme!
"And of course when you pay taxes (assuming you pay taxes - I'd advise against it) when you say 'gym' you can make up all sorts of nonexistent equipment for your deductions. If you call it a 'room', then you might get questioned when you inevitably submit all the gym equipment deductions!"
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Guess? looks at Akh and Melissa feigning indignance, "Rescue me from trouble?? I believe I was the one always getting us OUT of trouble! (while also making sure we got paid at above-market rates!)
"Remember, any situation we got into, as long as we were paid, it wasn't us getting 'into trouble.' It was just us 'working'!! Kekeke!"
"Hmmm, sometimes I wonder if you'd be swan diving into the sun Guess, so long as you believed there was a credstick under the surface..." Akh shakes his head "In any case, I definitely think we should liquidate the ship. The whole bigger on the inside thing isn't going to be valuable for long, so now's the time to make sure it goes to a reputable-ish buyer. Unless someone wants to just keep it as a status symbol..."
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"Hmmm, sometimes I wonder if you'd be swan diving into the sun Guess, so long as you believed there was a credstick under the surface..." Akh shakes his head "In any case, I definitely think we should liquidate the ship. The whole bigger on the inside thing isn't going to be valuable for long, so now's the time to make sure it goes to a reputable-ish buyer. Unless someone wants to just keep it as a status symbol..."
"Nope! If you love something let it go, it if comes back to you its yours. We tried to let Del's sister have it, it came back to us its ours. Also, always have a way out. We're going to be on a backwater planet on the vast. We;re going to need SOMETHING in case of swarm, goblin invasion, human empires, asteroid strike... "
Akh harumphs "We could get another perfectly good ship with the credits left over. One that people aren't fighting us to steal."
Akh harumphs "We could get another perfectly good ship with the credits left over. One that people aren't fighting us to steal."why do you think i wanted to let guess? have it for a year.... "
Guess? states matter-of-factly, "Because Melissa secretly loves the ship, wants to keep it, knows she can't hold on to it with all the people gunnin for it. BUT with a crime syndicate army backing me up, she knows that me holding on to that ship will be a snap!
"So yep, toss the problem at Guess? because he's the capable one and, at the end of the day, he'll figure out how to monetize the problem!
"Melissa, you are as correct as I am handsome!"
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You take a few days planning your next moves, washing the blood and ash off your armor, and enjoying some food baked by anything other than a Cheffy model. Garvagam, head of the station's hunters, stops by to drop a small key into your palm. "Impounded this from the drunk. Told him that just because he took over the monster's army doesn't mean the Moon doesn't deserve compensation for being the chosen battleground." You look down and see, written in Drow, Risen in cursive. "Please, take it with my thanks. I know that you brought this to our home, but I can't help but think that it could have been so much worse. Take this, with my thanks and those of all our local protectors."
One day you wake up in your bare corporate accommodation on the employee level to a knock on the door. A maraqoui guard hands you a gilded envelope inviting you to the palace. You return to the upper floor, walking through the royal gardens, and into the enormous palace room. The uplifted bear lazes on his throne, a notable absence of Captain Iru to his right. Telpi stands by the doorway, whispering into your ear. "My brother and I are ready, name the time and place of our departure. Please, do not forget us." The King interrupts any more potential comments with a booming declaration. "HEROES OF SMUGGLER'S MOON! Welcome, my darling. Little birdies tell me that you have found not only my subjects that you were looking for, but also the peace that you required... with only a slight amount of violence along the way. Please, name a boon within my power and it shall be yours. I would love to deliver those to you before you leave our humble planetoid."
It doesn't take someone with the insight of Guess? or Melissa to see that Dregor wants you off his fortress as soon as possible.
"A boon within your power?" Akh, having learned some subtlety and restraint over his adventures, refrains from suggesting that that might not be very much. "Any boon?"
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"My kingdom may seem poor from ones so well traveled as yourselves. But I am yet a prolific and benevolent leader - ask any of my subjects, whose dreams have come true through my gifts." He looks down and nods towards Melissa. "People, I have a plenty. Bring me the list of names. So long as their remaining servitude is not extensive, I can usher them into your care." He gives you a toothy grin. "Though take care, the worlds closer into the Pact do not take so kindly to this sort of... economics. And our farms have been kind to us, we have seeds to spare."
Akh shakes his head, Melissa having stolen away the opportunity to ask for a bigger boon than just freedom for a few people. He comments "We will need to conduct a few interviews to find ones who would handle themselves well. Maybe some who aren't satisfied with their current lot here, even though you gave them all the gifts they might've wanted. You wouldn't mind if some of those went with us, would you? You'd end up with an even more cohesive, uh, populace?"
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Melissa d ohs "I thought this was an individual thing. but remember when i said lets NOT have anyone ticked at us? Gregor gets paid off, we DON"T trap Frick and frack to stew here for ten years then come to blame us and our mostly grown kids..anyway why don't you see if you can keep the list going... "
We might have more names to add later. Um, also. Maybe you could write me a reference for a job application back on the station I've come from?
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"Yes... a handful of malcontents departing my kingdom should improve things. Saves money on execution fees..." He waves the concern away. "If the next job involves the incredibly cinematic murder of a violent criminal, I imagine your work speaks for itself. "
On your way out of the palace, Telpi grabs her brother by the arm and catches up with you. "Nice work! Thank you, thank you, thank you! When do we leave? Hey! Hey!" She waves down Caprea, the raxilite from the security office. "You're flowering. You want out of town? Somewhere less dreary for your offspring's sprouting?"
As you tour the Moon's facility for the last time, all four of your datapads ding. Zeldirn is holding up his promise, the darkweb bounty had been lifted! Also, the news blogs of Apostae are already abuzz with the shift in business sectors of one of the Golden League's biggest clans.
"And in exchange for transporting you off this moon and cutting short your enslavem... your period of service, all you need to do is watch a few hours of infomercials!! What a deal!"
Guess? will the of course try to hard sell everyone on his business courses while they on the ship and cannot run away. A captive audience, if you will...
Afterwards, Guess? will then try to recruit them into his branch of the crime syndicate.
"Been enslaved too long? Don't know where to go? What to do next?
"Join me and the Golden League! Opportunities for all! No experience necessary! Just a willingness to learn and perform some good, honest work! We'll train you! We'll teach you skills! Work your way up the ladder! We're an equal opportunity employer that rewards based on merit!"
Akh looks somewhat skeptically at this tablet. The darkweb bounty has been lifted for now. But who knows if Zeldirn ends up reassessing his standing and comes back to cause trouble. Akh hopes that by being out of sight, they'll also be out of mind.
"Oh dontcha worry Akh! Within six months, I'll be running the league! No possibility of the League putting a bounty on your heads anymore. I guarantee it!"
"Running the League in six months? Oh no."
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You get some polite declines from Garvagam and his hobgoblin hunters. "Our place is here. We serve the people, not the king." Zeldirn has already headed out with the remainder of the drow and orc foot soldiers.
However, a couple of the maraquoi guards approach you. Eager for adventure beyond these walls and a taste of the prowess you displayed, they hurriedly sign up for Guess?' infomercial sessions. Lagging behind the others is a maraquoi who walks in a more refined manner than the rest, awkwardly holding a spear with a novice grip. As they pass Melissa, the maraquoi's face ripples briefly into the familiar astrazoan Velgo. "I'm not sure my talents apply to farming, but anywhere is better than here." Shifting back to the guard disguise, Velgo settles in next to Caprea and the siblings.
You wave goodbye to the waiting crowds before setting into your respective starships. Both take off with a roar, quickly departing the atmosphere and landing in orbit.
Preferring a more private goodbye, away from the crowds of the Moon, you dock in orbit for one last meal aboard the Last Chance. Cheffy III is industriously filling the air with delicious scents of a gourmet banquet. For a brief moment you feel nostalgia for the original dank burnt smell of the original Cheffy's creations before coming back to yourself. V1CT0R and Marvin, the assisting drones you've picked up along the way, are finishing up setting the table. Between bites you reminisce about the adventures and misadventures you've been through together. Hard to believe it was less than a year ago that you were just another handful of corporate drones under the EJ Corp org chart. (And Melissa, a less-than-corporate but equally-drone-like fighter of the rebel alliance.) You send messages to Strek, Tarika, and Shan on Absalom Station. Your tape to Del, in her bakery on an out of the way asteroid, gets a bit teary. Finally, it's time to set off your separate ways. After all the blood, sweat, and tears (mostly your enemies'), you can finally Fly Free.
And you each have to come by Pilates of the Caribbean at least once a month for a good workout! I hear the owner has all sorts of stories about some thing called the Dead Suns saga. I must've been running around in the Diaspora avoiding my debts as I didn't hear about it!
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"You know how the three L's for a places price are locationlocation and location? Yeaaah. I didn't have that. So unless the Risen has some REALLY good drift engines it would take me almost that long just to get to the work ou... that's your plan for making the gym memberships hard to get out of isn't it?.. But I'll swing by when we need to run into town for supplies. No matter where you are, absolom station is right there. "
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With the Risen in his claws, Akh can't help but think back, back to before he joined EJ. Before all the running and trading and punching people who seemed hell-bent on getting themselves killed. He'd lived a fairly simple life working for the Wrexuum family within the Golden League, even after he'd started to gain the spark of self-awareness. He'd enjoyed simple pleasures while in their service. But in retrospect, that time seemed hollow and empty. Just doing the bidding of others. Waiting on their instructions. Being used.
In the months since stealing the Last Chance, everything had somehow both worked out very well, and worked out absolutely terribly at the same time. Even when things were going wrong, he couldn't deny that the freedom to get in trouble had been its own sort of thrill. He had met so many people, seen so many things, tasted so many flavors along the way. And so with a reprieve from being hunted, he turns now to what *he* wants to do next.
Melissa's offer resonates with him. Something peaceful, far from any remaining unpleasant surprises. Or at least, away from some unpleasant surprises. Around the dinner table he speaks up to Jaraduk "We might not be able to come back all that often for a workout, but we'll make sure to ship you vegetables. They won't even be exploding vegetables, probably, unless those are the most delicious kind. And of course if you get tired of working out you can visit us and work out some more."
To Guess he adds "As for you... don't fly too close to the sun. I have it on good authority that being a big shot crime boss is a short path to getting killed a lot of the time. And drow are funny about letting other species into their circles." While to Strek and Del he sends his well wishes. As for Tarika, his note merely says 'Don't think I'm not onto you!'
And with that he's off, heading out into the vast for a very different life. Of course, the planet Dirt is surely going to have its own problems. For all anyone knows, its haunted by an army of alien ghosts. Or the flora are all metallophores. Or the main local animal will be a variant of a rust monster. Or the world will be a secret hideout for a long dead alien species that their farming operation will inevitably unearth. Or Del's sister is somehow there.
He shakes his head. He hopes its not that last one. There's a lot of terrible things that might be awaiting them on Dirt. But then again, maybe it won't be all that bad.
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Settling into life on the station, with his now-much-simpler job, Jaraduk has one last loose end. Tarika! She was the friend who gave him a chance. Others might have grown suspicious of her, but Jaraduk was forever grateful.
One day after his gym shift they sit down for coffee. This time there is no swarming of assassins or harassment from goons claiming debts. Just idyllic reverie.
So, all of this job-finding turned out a lot more exciting than the simple shipping business you may have envisioned, eh? He laughs sheepishly.
She expresses incredulousness at his settling down. He offers her a gym membership discount and suggests that maybe she should think about her daughter and do the same.
But maybe, just maybe, for old-time's sake he'd take a smaller job or two for her in the future. Just to relive a little excitement. But not too much. Certainly never drow-adjacent.
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Your last supper completed, Guess? and Jaraduk get onto the Last Chance and head to Apostae by way of Absalom Station. (The shortest path for Guess? anyway.) Jaraduk heads off to a future with his friend at a questionably themed gym, just a hover taxi ride away from Tarika, Strek, and Shan. Guess? moves on to - somehow - an even more dangerous life, leaning into his darker and more capitalistic desires.
On the other ship, formerly known as The Risen, Akh and Melissa move towards the planet of Dirt. Packed into their cargo hold are the refugees of Smugglers Moon, future homesteaders. A few lightyears away stands the Reisora bakery within a small hamlet on an isolated asteroid moon.
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You haven't received a paycheck or paid taxes in several cycles, but you're richer than you could ever have dreamed of. And not just in Pact Worlds credits. Your wealth lays instead in the priceless experience of flying out of an enemy space station, the joy in a deal well struck, the quiet camaraderie shared over printed rations in the drift engine's hum. But, as Guess? would point out, also in cold hard credsticks.
Retirement is finally a reality, even though it so often seemed like an impossibility as you toiled beneath the corporate fist at the Evgeniya-Jaimisson Corporation. Finally, your labor is your own. The shadowing threats - first bankruptcy, then corporate revenge, mob justice, and religious fervor - are dispelled. The irony is sweet: the same skills you honed to survive under their thumb are the ones that bought your liberty.
Your armor is worth more than a gilded Kalistocrat townhouse in the Eye neighborhood of central Absalom Station. You might have friends in The Spike, but you will never need to hide out there again. Some of this armor was purchased with the fruit of your labor, some of it peeled from the corpses of your enemies. Your credsticks could buy a starship, a purchase so expensive that it's practically against the rules for normal people to make. And your network of friends and business partners spans the Pact Worlds. When trouble comes calling, help is just a infosphere message away. Not so bad for a group of space truckers.
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Melissa gets all (ok most) of her crying done in her room before blowing her nose on a towel and heading out to one last fourthmeal. She orders an extra large bowl of genuine G.L.O.P. and tries to nurse it as if the remaining nutrient slop could itself prevent the inevitable passage of time. Alas it only prevents passage once it's consumed.
"I'm gonna miss you guys so so much..." she hugs Jaraduk and gives his horns one last go with the polisher. After a moments of hesitation she gives Guess? a hug, even if she is trying to aim for his clothing and keep her fur off of the more gobliny parts of the goblin. She gifts the Nuar the horn polisher and the Goblin spritzer. " On the offhand chance he actually stops in for a work out..."
Last parting had Shrek do a in memorial for Lars, so for this much sweeter but still slightly bitter she's gathered a few grainy pictures from her armors' cameras to put up on the projector.
The first is a grainy shot looking at everyone's knees as she's burst out of the box. "I can't believe how scary Akh looked the first time I saw him. I wouldn't have been nearly so scared as I was if i knew him when I was a revel pretending to be an Eee Jay shill instead of an EJ hill pretending to be a rebel pretending to be an EJ shill."
"Here's jaraduk blending into the I'm not leather I'm suede couch...corporate still can't find the difference. OH, and the adorable rhoomba eating up my freetos."
"Here's me and Strek learning sign language.. i'll skip the parts where i almost had to slap him. forward. and forward. and forward..."
"Here's the 8 seconds del had to do mystic stuff and I got to drive the ship in combat...let me turn down the volume because.. ow ow yup. Del was screaming pretty loud for that..."
"OH.. and here's Akh saving me from my first unsuccessful attempt at grand theft auto..." The screen seems to whirl around the room as the Ysoki tucks an excellent barrel roll in between a Nuars legs and settles on.... A gray. Too bad the suits included com units specifically won't hold up in a court of law or they could sell that to some conspiracy theory nuts..."i SO wanted to back up, ram that guy, back up and do it again... "
"Aaand the Deep sea drilling mine. That was the first time I felt like a team member instead of an intern tagging along. I almost knew what I was doing and people almost listened to me! " she shows off some selfies with the electric feels..."And also my reminder that anyone who represents themselves in court has a fool for a client...Ouch. "
OH, and here's our selfies with that gold dragons eggs..Guess? are you holding a salt shaker....?!?!? she squints at the image.
"And of course our beat up bloodied selves The end? a new beggining! " the group selfie that they sent to the drow murder crew to tell them to stop fighting.
"We'll be back in town whenever we can, but the trip back is a doozy."
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On dirt, the mid-morning sun is starting to heat things up. Melissa stands on Akh's head with a piece of surveying equipment as a tiny pink stone elemental zig zags back and forth across a field "No no no your OTHER straight! No your other other. ARgh.. could this day get any worse" she asks, as a bird thing drops from the sky and tries to carry the small rodent off with a shriek of victory.
Later, in Melissa's new new house, this one with a door and ceiling big enough to fit Akh, Melissa watches the same presentation with her family old and new. Whats left of the slightly over done bird thing makes the centerpiece of a wood table creaking under the weight of corn, tomatoes, pumpkins, squash, and some local red fruit.
"Well, scans say it's safe to eat. But you never know how it will taste till you try it. Hmm.. who knows, maybe in 10 years this will be a cash crop and some truckers can come trying make THEIR careers "
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On dirt, the mid-morning sun is starting to heat things up. Melissa stands on Akh's head with a piece of surveying equipment as a tiny pink stone elemental zig zags back and forth across a field "No no no your OTHER straight! No your other other. ARgh.. could this day get any worse"
Akh whistles, something he's gotten quite good at on the farm. "Oh, yes, probably. But at least there's dinner."