What curses does she have? I figured it was the lame curse but she's also clouded vision? Dual cursed?
And why a penalty to a hearing based perception? Low wisdom?
On a tactical note we have the jump on these riders most likely. Let's be careful not to lose it.
Mortimer has just enough tact to not ask directly, but he is keenly interested in the magical abilities of any sentient creature he encounters. Particularly a young kitsune gifted with a reservoir of divine magic. I wouldn't say he gets "excited" per se, but he's definitely more interested in her story than most of what's happened in the campaign so far. So he asks around the question, plays off her enthusiasm, etc. He's no particularly good at this, so probably doesn't learn much, but what he lacks in skill he makes up for in "enthusiasm".
Through the Pauper's graves it seems uncomfortable to talk, so rather than prodding Saio for info, he observes his surroundings closely and has an eye out for anything magical or supernatural. The area is creepy, but he doesn't know why and would like to know. Perhaps when he later creates his ultimate wizard tower he can put the same effect around it to ward of whippersnappers. He will study the history of the place in the library later even if he doesn't learn anything from observation.
After Brawncho's outburst, Mortimer dismisses message and starts mumbling to himself.
Need to get a wand of calm emotions for Brawncho. Probably cost a lot of money, will have to practice magic more. This guy really needs to calm down. Going to get us ambushed on our secret mission. Why do meat shields have to be so loud and dumb? And why is it that the dumber someone is the louder they get? Maybe I can make a spell to exploit that. Make Brawncho smarter in whatever part of the brain makes him so loud. That may be simpler than a general pallative. I could get him some flayleaf, but I doubt he'll smoke that once he realizes it will prevent him from getting angry enough to channel his fury.
Yes, whatever I use needs to be involuntary, and preferably dismissable so if we get in a fight I can dismiss it and point him in the right direction. Wonder if he'll figure out I'm doing it. And he might develop a resistance to it over time. And if I remember correctly, even a powerful caster can only maintain the effect for a minute or two. I need something much more enduring. I'll have to study this when I get back to my room. I really need more time to study things. There's that creepy graveyard that has some supernatural pull, I'd like to understand that. And this calm Brawncho spell. And more plans for my tower. And I need to scribe more scrolls. I have so few right now. And I'd like to experiment with making a Headband of Intellect and some Pearls of Power. I can't wait to get a headband. Amazing that I could make myself even smarter, don't know why I haven't done that yet. I just need more time. Never have enough time.
Mortimer continues to rant to himself for a while. Eventually he tires out and recasts message.
The horses went where we need to be. We should advance on them carefully and quietly. They aren't goblins because goblins wouldn't ride horses, so they may not be hostile and they aren't our primary targets. Still, we should be on guard.
Mortimer casts Mage Armor on himself from a scroll, draws and loads his crossbow. He motions for his fellow PCs to do similarly. Gabby draws and loads her gun, Larry pulls an alchemist fire from his pack and has it in hand. Brawncho already has his weapon out because he's been brandishing it at every other noise he hears.
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It is clear there is nothing stealthy about the Tian girl in brightly colored leathers and steel. Her armor jingling like small serene bells, her massive bat with its paper prayers snapping in the wind. Her musical chanting, soft in your ears until she loudly claps her hands at the end, Blessing the party.
Just going to do all on Morty's page.
Wow, we're terrible at collective skill checks.
If Slothy thinks something's wrong, I'll activate my SlothCam. Positioned over the riderless horses.
Mechanically, it's the same as if I had my head up in the sky right there looking down. If someone had cover/concealment from up there and was stealthing and rolled well enough to beat my perception, then I wouldn't see them. If I have a clear, unobstructed LoS (would take no penalty if I shot my crossbow at them), then they can't stealth.
So, it's quite possible he's hiding behind the horses and I don't have a clear LoS so he would have cover/concealment and his stealth was clearly better than my perception.
What do the bodies look like? Human(ish) or goblin or ?
Alright group, I see some bandits that appear to be looting a small barge after killing the owners. Well, are they bandits if they're on the water? Or are they pirates? Does it really count as piracy if you're just robbing some yokels on a skiff in a stream? If I were to steal one of those little stick-and-leaf boats from a small child would I technically be a pirate? I think not. If I recall correctly, the formal definition for piracy requires it to be at sea, which this is clearly not. I think it is acceptable usage to say they're pirates if they're robbing on shore or even on a large lake, but I don't think this situation even merits the more humble term of "river pirate". But one of them has a fancy hat, so I suspect he's pirate enough. Anyways, pirates ahead, crew, prepare for battle.
I think they see us, but think we're just civilians, so get ready for a fight. We should probably kill them and take their stuff because they're bad people. And take the people's stuff that they stole from, so that way if we find their legal heirs easily we can return it to them. If not, which is somewhat unlikely for small transport like this, and even less likely if, as I suspect, they are transporting illegal goods, then the local laws would allow us to keep said goods and dispose of them as we see fit. I believe that is the lawful and good thing to do in this circumstance.
Mortimer grabs the scroll of shield that slothy pulls out for him, and then casts it on himself while walking forward at a Mortimerian pace.
Charge, Doge!
Gabby has Doge single move forward, then tries to take a shot with her woefully-inaccurate-at-range-pistol.
And she reloads her gun.
Don't kill the horses, goblins! I want to replace the ones we lost!
My Queen, I will guard your rear and when they cluster together I will light them on fire.
I forgot to prepare extracts for Larry. Since now it's clear what I want making it hard to see what I would've made pre-combat, I'll just randomly choose across some good ones.
Extracts he knows he likely would've prepared:
True Strike
Bomber's Eye
Longshot
Expeditious Retreat
Anticipate Peril
Shield
Bomber's Eye and Anticipate Peril it is. Well, the anticipate isn't useful, but the bomber's eye certainly is.
Larry single moves up, then drinks his Bomber's Eye extract (+10 RIncr and +1 attack w/ splash for 3 levels).
You think you can just steal from people and that's ok? I'm going to use your faces to build gains and muscle! Don't try to run from me!
Brawncho can't actually attack, but moves up after the dismount. He is concerned about them running away, so makes the tactically questionable decision of provoking an AoP to move around into a flankable position.
I KNOW YOU ARE RAIDERS! THE OLD MAN SAID YOU WERE RIVER PIRATES! WHY DO YOU YELL YOUR TITLE BEFORE YOU TRY TO HURT ME?
In goblin, of course
Oh wise Brawncho, thank you for making the tactically sound decision of grouping all 3 riders and the awful horses around you so I can hit them all at once.
Turns briefly toward Saio and bows quickly, still speaking to her in Goblin
I apologize for this mi'lady
And he bombs Brawncho's square.
MORTIMER! ANOTHER EXPLODING GOBLIN! ONLY THIS ONE IS TALLER AND LOOKS LIKE A HUMAN!
Your puny sword hurts! It is bad for gains for you AND bad for gains for me.
See! The old man can hit too.
Stupid low level divination magic. I look forward to being all knowing later, but for now I wish I could just light people I don't like on fire.
After missing twice due to his strengh damage, Brawncho yells at the fleeing pirate:
I'm no longer the strongest man in the world because of you! I will find you and I will crush you, little RAIDER man!
With the pirates down, we gather the bodies, retrieve the horses, stabilize any survivors and gather up their possessions and see what they were stealing.
To do:
Gather all 3 horses
Get Brawncho back up
Stabilize the 2 surviving pirates
Check for bodies/evidence of the people these pirates murdered and robbed
Check for loot on the pirates and on the skiff/around the area
Resolve anything else around here
Then: go find a campsite nearby and sleep
The battle is over quickly. The valiant heroes charged down the evil pirates. Mortimer struck true with 2 perfectly aimed crossbow bolts, dropping one of the pirates and seriously wounding another.
Larry also burned the bad guys and Gabby landed a very well placed shot between the eyes of the lead pirate/goon/bandit/raider, killing him instantly.
One of the pirates was an abject coward and fled the combat, he was struck down by a crossbow bolt and a bomb.
As the smoke cleared, it became obvious that brave Brawncho had fallen from a lucky blow by the lead pirate/goon/bandit/raider and had a sword lodged in his arm and almost bled out on the ground, but Saio was able to save him.
Brawncho and Mortimer will look for the horse. Gabby and Larry can make camp in a safe place nearby. Saio watch the prisoners?
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Saio dismounts, touches the wounded horses and pirates and says a prayer. When she does, Mortimer, Gabby and Larry feel a life removed from them. She chants furiously as wounds transfer into her from each wounded soul, then, every few second a wave of healing radiates out of her. She does this for nearly a minute and everyone is all full health. You watch as Brawncho, stitches together with each wave, the short sword ejected harmlessly from his body like a rejected thorn. When she finishes, she announces in Tian:
I must rest. Healing so many has tired me. I will watch them while you hunt, she yawns on the last word, By my honor
Mortimer talks with Brawncho briefly on the way back with the horse.
Since we have 2 bandits, I think we should use a trick I learned in Wizard school called the prisoner's dilemma. You may have heard of it. Basically, we separate the two prisoners and ask them to tell their story. If they tell the truth and their buddy gets caught in a lie, then they live and their buddy dies. If they both get caught in a lie, then they both die. If both tell the truth, then they both might live.
I'll tell them that I have magic that will let me read their minds. I will know if they lie.
What we won't tell them is that I only have 1 of these spells prepared and if I fail at it then I'll need 15 minutes at least to re-prepare another...which I'd prefer not to do. So I'll use the magic on the second one.
Mortimer walks up to the two pirates and motions to Brawncho to take the one on the left (the one that got Brawncho with his rapier). Brawncho hauls him off talking about doing some power lifting to get his strength back.
Mortimer sits down next to the other one. He briefly explains the prisoner's dilemma problem to the remaining pirate. He casts detect magic and keeps up his concentration for a few rounds while he starts talking. And when he finishes he pauses, looks like he's casting another spell, and watches him closely.
Then he looks at him quizically.
Now, I get that you guys must fancy yourselves pirates. Before you deny it, I saw you dumping those bodies over the side of the skiff when I showed up. And it appears that the other boy over there Brawncho is about to have a talking to is your brother and this dead fellow Gabby shot a hole in is your father. So you had a little family business. It would be cute if it weren't so sad.
I'm sure the people you robbed were real bad people and had it coming and all, but there's something I don't understand. Where was the loot? You all don't seem to have anything valuable and I don't see anything on the skiff that was valuable or anything on your horses or anywhere around here. And I doubt you took the time to bury the valuables before you dumped the bodies. But even amateurs like yourselves wouldn't rob an empty boat.
So why did you kill those people? What did they have worth stealing? And where is it? Remember, if you lie, I will know it and I'll let these goblins over here have their way with you. They have a fascination with ears. They'll probably enjoy eating yours while you're still wearing them.
Ears? Did someone say I could eat ears? I love ears. They are a source of money and power. All the ears are mine! Can I have his ears? Has he lied yet? I hope so. I want his ears.
Oh bother. I was hoping for a good story even if there was no loot. It's just hill folk killing each other. Why do these humans breed so much that they have to wander off into the woods and hills and loose all touch with their humanity? Idiots. Maybe the other one has more sense.
Brawncho, can you bring the other one back here before you break him in half? I'm done with this one.
Mortimer mumbles to himself while waiting on Brawncho:
Gods, I hope that Brawncho's rough housing doesn't turn into a more collegial or even friendly relationship. I like having meatheads with us to protect me from harm, but I'd rather take a dagger to the stomach than have to deal with these inbreds.
Brawncho eventually brings the other one back, Mortimer repeats the procedure with him. Telling him about his mind reading magic, about the consequences for lying, and how this crime just doesn't make any sense. Gabby is paying much more attention now that she knows there might be some ears in store for her.
Mortimer actually casts Detect Thoughts this time. He shudders at the idea of how dirty he'll feel after seeing what's inside this one's brain, but is also paranoid enough that he doesn't want to let his own dislike keep him from properly interrogating the witness. After all, they could be faking their story to seem uninteresting and avoid more scrutiny.
So, does he tell a different story? Does he lie at all?
DC18 Will save
Satisfied that they're useless yokels, Mortimer decides to see if he can get some local intel from then.
So, you want to help us out? I know you do. If you're helpful you get to keep your soul. And probably your ears. How about you tell us about the surrounding area. Have you seen any goblins around besides these 2? Anything unusual?
Are your kin close by? Are they likely to come looking for you before long? Remember, lying will not go well for you...