Very nice looking map reference.
There is a compass rose and scale present on the map.
Good use of page space.
Map is nicely hand drawn and easy to read and labeled areas for detail.
I really like this map reference, my favorite one of the all of the submissions this year.
I would enjoy working on this one, it is cool and unique.
I do recommend this map to progress to round 3
Contributor
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The Good
It's a dungeon built inside a giant monster! I love these! Also, nice work referencing Stefan John Orlowski. I love his work.
This map is clearly labeled, and I could turn this into a final with no additional information
The Bad
The setting is really creative, but I feel like the interior isn't as "pardon the pun" fleshed-out as it could be. A giant monster interior seems like an exciting location, but you put more than half the encounter spaces in little rectangular buildings outside the fish.
My Judgement
I really great idea, poorly developed but communicated well. I weakly recommend this entry for advancement to the next round.
Modules Overlord
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Is It a Full Page Map?
Very much so.
Does The Map Have A Compass Rose and Scale? Are They Used Well?
Yes, and yes. The scale gives us an idea what all the outbuildings and chambers look like, but they're too small to give interior details, which is fine.
Is The Map A Place I Want To Adventure?
Maybe it's because I play an alchemist, but yes!
Is the Map Clear?
Not 100% I know what I am looking at, but would like to know what altitude various parts of the leviathan are and similar details. On the other hand the side callout for the lighthouse is helpful, and kept to a reasonable size.
Is the Map Detailed?
For its scale it's fairly detailed, but it eats up a lot of real estate with fish flesh, which currently doesn’t do much. I could see a scale-removal operation, a section that's rotting, a nest of vultures or seagulls – things that could be added to give more information and more opportunities for a GM to riff off of.
Is the Map Imaginative?
This isn’t the first map using the inside of a huge creature, but I do like the twists it's been given. It has natural interior chambers, and a swallowed structure, and build-on outbuildlings, which is a nice variety.
In the end this is fun and well-done if not perfect. It needs some improvement, but seems worth the extra work. I do recommend it for advancement to Round 3.
RPG Superstar 2014 Top 16
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Marathon Voter Season 7, Marathon Voter Season 8
aka Jrcmarine
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I have to admit- I really want to like this one. The idea, although done before, is nice. I like the "swallowed" building and the scaffold like structures that have been built around the corpse. There is just too much missing detail for my taste. There is a lot of wasted space here that could have had a lot of little add-ons to give the map more character.
As Owen mentioned- little sea-gull nests, a rotting portion of the corpse, etc. I also think a new light house built out of the creature's eye socket would have been very cool and was one of the things I first thought of. Or perhaps a lighthouse half way through construction.
This is on the border for me. I will have to see the rest before I make a decision on this one.
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Let me start by saying I like probably even voting for it.
But by far my biggest problem with this particular locale is how terrible the stench would be since it doesn't look completely decayed yet at all. So unless inhabited by a tribe of troglodytes not completely sure what would even live here :-p
13th map I have seen, your rank is 7th.
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Adventuring in or on the body of dead monsters is a classic fantasy trope, but it's classic for a reason.
I like that you've turned your dead monster into something more, with some buildings attached. I do wish the buildings were a bit more exciting. I can buy them all being just one story considering the terrain, but I wish they weren't mostly standard rectangular shapes. I love the submerged lighthouse, along with the cutaway view of that.
I'm intrigued by the brain (and to a lesser degree, heart) notations, as I think there could be neat adventures, though the brain looks like it's already being well-harvested.
However, I have to admit I'm also a little frustrated. You've given me an entire leviathan with just four locations inside the corpse. I think it might have worked better to use a small grid, which would have let you get a bit more detail on what's going on inside the corpse.
Right now, I'm on the fence with this one. I'm considering voting for it, though.
Challenge: Is this map difficult to execute? Does it in my opinion demonstrate the characteristics of a Superstar designer?
Technique: Did the designer show some skill and consideration in the choices made on the map. Are the words used in the key wise choices that add to the overall utility of the map?
Utility: Can a GM/cartographer make sense of the map and make immediate use of it?
Overall:[b] I'll rate the Map as an A for strong recommends B for weak recommends C on the bubble D for weak rejects F for Do not recommends
Challenge: Making the inside of a monster map is a tough challenge and demonstrates the risk taking of a superstar for sure.
Technique: Great use of color and I like the drawn feel. You gave a multi view which gets style points for me.
Utility: I don't see myself using it but it's a cool idea.
Overall: Solid B+ for me. I weakly recommend voting for it.
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RPG Superstar 2013
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Dedicated Voter Season 6, Dedicated Voter Season 7, Dedicated Voter Season 8, Star Voter Season 9
aka Steven T. Helt
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Welcome to Superstar, Jason!
Your leviathan corpse map is another risky move that paid off for you in the judge's eyes. Though I think it would benefit greatly from a second effort to fill out the corpse space more, I think you pulled the idea off.
The idea of underwater adventuring inside a submerged building inside the stomach of a long-dead immense beast is so exciting, the finished version of this map would really compel GMs to play it up. I can also see swallowed whole haunts, giant scavengers still eating off the carcass, and more.
Maybe a missed opportunity: instead of taking up so much space with the compass in the corner, fill the corpse out to larger scale to make more adventuring space, OR give us a larger side view of the buildings and a map inside the collapsed building.
And add a ship!
Map inside a creature? Cool - an idea that I'd been thinking about (actually since last year's contest), but done in a much different way than I'd been considering, and possibly even a more workable way.
I'll echo Crystal's thoughts in that I think utilizing more of the interior would be a better (or at least more thorough) usage of the setting- perhaps some buildings inside the creature, etc. In further developing the map into an encounter area I think it would be great to make that interior stomach at least slightly acidic, too.
In any event, I think you did something pretty outside the box here and you got my vote!
This is a sort of obvious gonzo idea, but there two things that pushed it into voting territory for me. I love that it has a swallowed lighthouse in its stomach (the object of our quest perhaps? What could lie within?) and I love that it has that ramshackle settlement clinging to its sides. Who lives there, I wonder? Those two details turn it into a great, evocative location.
Simple map with a very clear design. I like the idea of adventuring in what was once a ginormous fish now dead on its side (or at least having my PCs go into it; I think the smell would be something awful). Someone has made a base out of this nightmare and that has a lot of cool imagery and adventure possibilities.
If anything you didn't go far enough in the interior of the beast. Only small sections are mapped out. The hollows and opening that would occur within a beast of that size would result in a lot more natural chambers and corridors. You could have built an expansive dungeon out of this quite easily.
In spite of this not being taken to the level it could have it's good enough for me to bring it in just ahead of The Haunted Dinosaur Graveyard of Mediogalti Island. So it gets my vote.
When using a concept that is this much of a trope, there need to be really amazing original details. I feel like there were just not enough on this one. While there is a lot of stuff and a lot of different areas, it does seem like there is very little room overall.
There is no key, so I have to assume that all of the areas that doe t have something specifically drawn are empty? There could be some really cool stuff in the laboratory, but that lab is tiny, only a little bigger than the fish's eye.
Also, I feel like I have to say fish because this leviathan looks like a piranha. Or a mitten.
That lab is tiny, only a little bigger than the fish's eye.
Keep in mind they're 10-foot squares, so the lab is actually 20-by-30, which is an OK-sized room.
I love the swallowed lighthouse. But putting a shattered ship in its jaws would have increased the adventuring area.
Another adventure inside a dead monster, and I'm digging it. There's a good amount of inspiration here for an interesting adventure--a lot to turn the designing gears in my head to come up with a story for this thing. My inner 5th grader is disappointed that there's no exit near the tail labeled "back door." Otherwise, I'm happy with this as a rough draft for a really unique and interesting adventure site.
My favorite thing: That it's a giant dead fish with buildings attached!
Other things I like: And another building inside it?! Cool.
My least favorite thing(s): There is so much wasted space. Fish have a lot more organs than you've drawn here (at least I think they do, I'm not a fish biologist), and it's a real bummer that you didn't map more of it out.
- Your side view isn't really a side view. Honestly I don't know if there is a viewing angle the could possibly look like that. If it was strictly from the side then it would appear that your light house was submerged under the water line.
- Would the air bladder really connect to the stomach and brain? Wouldn't the heart connect to more things?
Will I vote for it: That's tough because I love weird shit and this shit is weird, but I feel like you didn't put enough work into it to make it a great location to explore. It's currently one of three entries vying for my last vote. If I do vote for this it would be based off of a neat location in spite of some poor execution.
Not the most amazing map in and of itself, but the idea is intriguing. Monster as location has been done before in RPGSS (was it Mike Wleham's undulating weirdness in 2013?) and Wlofgang Baur's Leviathan in Kobold Press Journeys to the West immediately spring to mind among a living host of others.
I'm not sold by the lighthouse being inside the creature.
Eh. I like this. It suffers from a lack of topographic detail (how high is this thing?)
I'd love to see the map of the exterior, and how one might gain entry to the innards apart from the obvious orifices.
I can't tell how the buildings are interrelating to the monumental carcass.
I like the canals/corridors that link the internal organs.
Much fun. Squicky, gross, ambushed by biohazardous gut dwellers kind of fun.
Definitely a place I'd want to run an adventure in, although as others have already told you, it would have been so much more with extra details.
A couple of questions. The lighthouse in the creature's stomach is a good addition, but why is the top of it floating in the water. Assuming that it's made of stone - I don't think a lighthouse that big can be made of wood - it really doesn't have that much buoyancy. What are the markings in the southernmost room? The map doesn't explain. Can you exit or enter through the gills? They're drawn in, but there isn't a connection to the air bladder. How is this staying afloat? If it was beached somewhere, I wouldn't have any problems, but normally a corpse will sink sooner or later. Or in the case of humans, it will first sink, then rot and bloat, rising to the surface and then sink again. Assuming CIA hasn't lied to me year after year.
Nevertheless, I do like this. It is a creative idea and definitely tells a story. Could have been more with some extra work, but even still I'm giving it a weak yes.
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Modules Overlord
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Official Round 2 Note: On Map Resolution
We’ve had some comments on legibility of smaller type on the maps, and the contestants are (by the rules of the contest), not allowed to clarify anything, so I want to make a general statement about maps and resolution.
When we required all contestants to present maps at a specific dpi and size, we did so because in past years we’ve had some issues with maps (for the encounter round) being sent to us in different sizes, resolutions, and dpi, making it difficult to give them all a high-quality presentation for the contest. We found that asking for a higher dpi than we’ll use in the end allowed us to create a standard of presentation that kept all images crisp and clean. For encounter-round maps, this has worked well.
Unfortunately, since this round requires all text be provided on the maps themselves, many contestants used the dpi and size standards we required as the basis for making sure their text is clear, and otherwise tried to keep words as small as possible so as to not clutter their maps. This was done in the (reasonable) belief that the maps should look good at the size we asked for, rather than in any different size we might present on our website. When resized for smaller, high-quality images, this can result in words that aren’t clearly legible.
We’ve made a change to rescale everything to the higher end of maximum image size for uploaded images for all maps that were entered this round. This should allow for better legibility for voters when selecting their favorite maps to advance in the contest. It is our fault that this process was not properly communicated to our contestants, so consider this when adjusting or finalizing your selections.
Obviously, we’ll explain what is going to happen to the images of maps, and how to allow for it, more clearly in future rounds (and future contests). My apologies to any contestant with a map that has suffered as a result of how we handled scaling in this round.
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RPG Superstar 2012 Top 16
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Star Voter Season 6, Dedicated Voter Season 7, Dedicated Voter Season 8
aka FaxCelestis
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http://i.imgur.com/kSHUAVS.jpg
Here is how your map appears to a colorblind end user. Tour use of color is largely outside the visible spectrum for a deuteranope, which makes your map harder to read. Since roughly 10% of the populace is colorblind, this is something you need to keep in mind.
First off: Congratulations on making Round 2, and the best of luck in the votes!
Coolness: Do I look at this, and want to use it in a game? Does it provoke wonder or amazement? Does it hold potential for interesting encounters, adventures or roleplay? How much mileage does this map have in it?
Usability: How usable is this for me as a GM (being that GMs are actually the primary audience of most maps)? Is the legend clear and in logical order for play? Does it give me enough information to easily visualize the parts and wax poetic about the varied locations? Does it have the necessary details for me to run with it on the fly, or will it involve a lot of improvisation? Does it have any glaring oddities that stop me mid-breath to go "what the hell is that?!"?
Craftsmanship: Is it clear, legible and containing all the necessary bits and bobs? Does it make good use of the space? Is the scale appropriate for the detail (and visa versa)?
(I suppose you could also call them "Creativity, Functionality and Skill", but I like my terms better :P).
Coolness: C-
- Positive: Fish! In terms of being different, this one definitely is swinging for the fence, and is pretty evocative; "Off the port bow, thousands of flocking birds draw your gaze to a form partially submerged in the water. As your ship draws closer, you discern it to be the corpse of a vast fish, mouth agape as it shifts slowly in the swell….
- Negative: "… its form bloated and distorted by the foul gases caught between the layers of its decaying flesh that buoy it, despite its incredible bulk. You soon see the sea birds are not alone in scavenging the rotting carcass, as numerous buildings and docks line the side of the beast, their wooden structures merging into the festering putrescence." And here I stop as questions start flooding into my mind, as I know they will the minds of my players: From whence came this monster? How is it actually afloat while riddled with holes and thus losing buoying gasses? How did anyone have time to build into the thing before its decay reached the point where it sank? Why would anyone try to live amid the stinking, festering mess that risks sinking at any moment? Why does the lighthouse top appear to float? This is clearly a bony-fish, given the swim bladder and teeth; where is the skeleton and why is the brain not within the skull? If this creature ever swam, why is the swim bladder where it's muscles should be? If I fireball it, will it explode the gasses and rid the world of this disease-filled blight?
- Verdict: C-. This one was hard, as it's a mix of brilliant, horrible and brilliantly horrible ideas, and had the latter come across as being deliberate, I would have rated it higher. Referencing fish anatomy while planning would have helped.
Usability: D
- Positive: The layout is relatively clear, and the locations are labeled, so it's fairly usable. The laboratory gives some indication as to what's going on, but the rest is unfortunately generic.
- Negative: The entire layout is 2 dimensional and flat, even the insides of the fish. The rooms are featureless squares and rectangles, whose interior I need to create based on the title – when it is given. The interior of the fish has no notes about surface, and is colored the same as the buildings – are they also made of fish-guts? Is any of this difficult terrain? What reason do we have to actually go inside the fish, other than out of morbid curiosity? This map needs detail added and a proper key.
- Verdict: I'm going to have to give this one a D on usability – there are just too many blank rectangles and featureless tunnels to really let me play with, and the stomach is just… weird.
Craftsmanship: C-
- Positive: The theme and concept are clear; It's a giant fish corpse, turned floating base/lab. The compass (though I'd imagine that's arbitrary given it floats) and scale are present and immediately visible.
- Negative: The lack of detail and key hurts this one a lot in my opinion, and the top and bottom of the page are very underutilized, leaving a lot of filler space that has no actual function.
- Verdict: With more time and attention to detail, this could have been very impressive, but right now it feels unfinished and poorly planned. C- for good work on what is present.
Overall: C-. I think with more attention to detail (and somewhat improved anatomy) to drive home the atmosphere, this could have been Superstar. Right now it comes across as relying too much on shock-value.
I love the idea of this map. But the execution pushed this into a maybe, too much wasted space and lack of detail.
Here are my ratings for this map:
First Look: A
That's just cool. The mix of hollowed-out fish and added structures is impressive.
Interest Level of Location: A
This would be really fun to explore. Especially the swallowed lighthouse.
Tactical Depth: C
The lighthouse area could have some tactical interest, but overall, this doesn't seem to be a major consideration.
Adventure Potential: B
While this would be super fun to drop into an adventure, there is nothing in the map that suggests how I would do so, or how this thing came about. Adding more detail to this map would help a lot.
Clarity: A
No major problems.
Logic: C
This isn't a very realistic fish.
Overall: B
I liked this map a lot. If the crew of the Lucky Albatross sailed to this place, I would be psyched to explore this location. I admit the fish is a little cartoony, but in the hands of cartographer, this could be awesome.
You were my 5th favorite map.
Good Luck!
I am critiquing this without having read others' first:
Leviathan's end is actually just a super-ginormous piranha or angler fish?
I like the idea here, it makes me think of Guardians of the Galaxy (the movie) making the body of a Celestial into a mining colony.
10 foot squares make this REALLY big.
Is this underwater? I have no idea of depths here.
There are unlabled things here.
There's some interesting areas, but other than being organs...not really.
Overall, I want to adventure here, but I also don't have much from this map other than really big dead fish (maybe it is not dead...that'd be cool.) A reference to Guardians of the Galaxy...but this just kind of falls flat for me.
I love maps like this. Having the fish on its side strikes me as genius and helps with visualizing and drawing out the map. The fact that someone built some kind of lab tells a story here. My biggest gripe is that none of the rooms have any detail inside of them. That's a pretty big mark against you.
Life is still crazy, but internet is finally working well again, so here's some feedback:
Leviathan's End - super creative idea, nice touches, cool stuff
.....
Great job! This map got my vote. :)
Thank you for inspiring adventures in my mind!
RPG Superstar 2015 Top 16
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Thanks to everyone who voted for my map!
Unofrtunately, I just found out that I have to move for work reasons and I don't have the time to continue in the contest. I am very excited to have gotten this far and I wish the best of luck to everyone else!
Wow. Sorry to hear that, Jason.
Hi Jason. Darn, that's a shame. I've really liked your stuff so far. Take care while moving!
Be sure to message Paizo so they know to bring in the next runner up!
Oh, man! What a bummer! I really admired your stuff so far, and I wish we were going to see more of it. Good luck with the move, though!
RPG Superstar 2015 Top 16
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Marathon Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 7, Marathon Voter Season 8, Star Voter Season 9
aka mamaursula
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Thanks to everyone who voted for my map!
Unofrtunately, I just found out that I have to move for work reasons and I don't have the time to continue in the contest. I am very excited to have gotten this far and I wish the best of luck to everyone else!
Congratulations on the move for work, I hope it's a good thing for you! I am sorry to see you go and wish you the best of luck.
Ha ha! Glad to see this had a happy ending! Congrats on the Paizo Editor job. :)