IT MUST BE MY NATURAL CHARM

[THUNDERLIPS!]

THUNDERLIPS! WANT TO ANNOUNCE UPCOMING NUPTIALS! THE BLAKROS FAMILY HAS RECOGNIZED ME AS THE MAN OF INFLUENCE THAT I AM.

MAYBE IT WAS MY CHARM. MAYBE IT WAS MY VIRILITY. MAYBE IT WAS MY HAIRY CHEST. MAYBE IT WAS MASSIVE AND MIGHTY TUNDERNOTTER THAT IMPRESSED OLD WOAMN BLAKROS. WHO CARES! THUNDERLIPS! DOES NOT. FOR AFTER MUCH DRINKING, FEASTING, SINGING, BOASTING, DANCING, AND FISTICUFFS, OLD WOMAN BLAKROS ANNOUNCED THERE WAS A PLACE IN THE FAMILY FOR THUNDERLIPS! TAKE THAT, PRINCE THROAT CLEARING NOISE. THUNDERLIPS! BETS YOU REGRET KICKING HIM OUT OF POORMAN'S SCZARNI NOW.

THUNDERLIPS! NOT SURE WHY THERE MUST BE A LENGTHY COURTSHIP. THE DAUGHTER THUNDERLIPS! IS TO MARRY IS NOT UNPLEASING TO THUNDERLIPS! SO LENGTHY RITUAL IS OK.

TAKING BLAKROS FAMILY NAME NO BIG DEAL TO THUNDERLIPS! AS HE HAS NO LAST NAME, BUT FROM NOW ON PEOPLE WILL SING SONGS OF VALOR FOR

THUNDERLIPS! BLAKROS!

[Hamaria Blakros]

Your request for my daughter's hand in marriage has been received and, after much consideration, hereby rejected due to your failure to pay the dowry in full as well as for your reference to me as "old woman Blakros". As you were told thrice during our conference, the dowry must be paid in full prior to the announcement of your engagement. While this engagement has come to an end, please feel free to reapply next year when you are able to pay for the dowry. Your application fee will not be refunded. Thank you for understanding.

~Hamaria Blakros~

[Mariah Turner]

points and laughs

[THUNDERLIPS!]

THUNDERLIPS! starts to shake a bit. His eyes bulge out, his teeth gnash, his chest hair rises. Small wispy creatures pop into existence while he grips Tundernotter with both hands. The ghostly creatures throw fine china, crystal glasses, wigs, and any other loose article of clothing around the room.

RRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Tundernotter slams down on the table, sending plates, glasses, food, drink, and fancy center pieces flying into the air. The ghostly creatures snatch these items out of mid-air with alarming dexterity and begin to hurl them at the assembled guests. Cakes, pies, and tarts meet unfortunate ends upon the faces of the assembled. The ghosts drink just as much wine as they pour on the guests. THUNDERLIPS! pick up one half of the broken table and hurls it against the wall.

GAAAAAAARRRRRRR! URRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!

Guards rush in only to find the room in total chaos. The ghosts are punching the guests with no regard for station. One beats a guest over the head with a half-eaten turkey leg. Another crashes an empty wine bottle over a patron's head. Several ghosts are stringing up a guest from the chandelier. More are dunking a poor server head first into the punch bowl. Repeatedly. THUNDERLIPS! continues to throw furniture around the room whether occupied or not. A couch bearing two elegantly dressed ladies slams into the guards.

THUNDERLIPS! BLAKROS! WILL BE MARRIED!

Coming to their senses, the guests run out of the room. All except one. Sitting in a chair surrounded by debris and spilt foodstuffs, Madeline Blakros stares at her betrothed. Time slows. The ghosts continues to pummel guests still in the room, but leave her alone. Madeline strides across the room, ignoring everything around her. THUNDERLIPS! raises Tundernotter over his head. The two make eye contact. The earthbreaker slips from THUNDERLIPS!' grasp, cracking the floor. They embrace. Holding Madeline in his left arm, THUNDERLIPS! scoops up Tundernotter. The ghosts shatter a large window.

HA, OLD WOMAN BLAKROS! THUNDERLIPS!' CAN NOT BE STOPPED. YOU CAN ONLY HOPE TO CONTAIN HIM! COME, MADELINE! WE WILL NOT BE DENIED!

With that, THUNDERLIPS! sprints across the room, jumps out the broken window carrying Madeline, roaring to the heavens as he does so. The ghosts follow THUNDERLIPS! into the city.

[Ms. Quick]

Miss Quick pokes through the debris, finally locating a bottle that, somehow, still contains wine. After a healthy drink, she wipes her mouth and pokes Miss Turner.

What are the four greatest words in the Taldane language?

I told you so.

[Mariah Turner]

Well, you know what they say, it's not a Blackrose party until at least half the guests die.

[Mariah Turner]

Mariah walks over to the broken window, and stares out at the trail of destruction THUNDERLIPS! left in his wake. Then turns back to Miss Quick

Did... didn't Maldris tell us to keep him out of trouble tonight?

[Monroe Stonewall]

Monroe Stonewall quickly makes his way to the room after hearing about the destruction of the room.

.... By Cayden's Codpiece, what happened!? Don't tell me it was another crazed half-orc running around.

[Ms. Quick]

Miss Quick finishes what was left of her bottle of wine. She fumbles for another.

Half-orc? I don't think anyone has accused him of that particular personality trait. It appears Hamaria's sudden change of heart caused our two love birds to cement their betrothal in the way only THUNDERLIPS! can. Give the man-child time, he will bring the Blakros family around. Sweet mercy, I mean, Nigel Aldain married into the family. If they could take him in, THUNDERLIPS! is shoo in.

[Monroe Stonewall]

Monroe looks at Ms. Quick a bit dumbfounded.
Wait, Nigel is a part of that family? I thought the idiot was just the curator. They certainly set their expectations low. But, anyway, we're going to see Maldris get alot of upset "reports" with this incident.

After he finishes speaking, Monroe looks around the destroyed room, and sighs.

Right. I'll be on my ship at the docks, good day.

As he leaves he mumbles something about beer and at least a little moderation.
He then stops walking and shakes his head vigorously then continues walking.

[Corvus Cailean]

Mariah Turner wrote:

Mariah walks over to the broken window, and stares out at the trail of destruction THUNDERLIPS! left in his wake. Then turns back to Miss Quick

Did... didn't Maldris tell us to keep him out of trouble tonight?

Sorry, god distracted keeping maldris from *hic* doing the same thing.

[Pontificor the Great]

Maybe I could talk with Hammer-i-a.

She kinda has a crush on me...because I kinda slipped her a philter of love during her daughters wedding....

[G'darm Youn]

Monroe Stonewall wrote:

Monroe Stonewall quickly makes his way to the room after hearing about the destruction of the room.

.... By Cayden's Codpiece, what happened!? Don't tell me it was another crazed half-orc running around.

G'Darm pokes his head up from the wreckage, where he has apparently been stuffing turkey legs from the occasion into his pack.

Crazed? What G'Darm do now? Turkey for taking, right?