I suffer from depression as well, and it's cost me my last job (2007), dignity, and friends. Like a lot of people I may have a novel in me, but I am utterly unable to write it.
I don't want to take away from your thread with my own problems, but if you need someone to talk with who understands feel free to email me here.
DMC
I know those feels, man. :(
Making progress Umbral?
If it helps at all, my Dysthymia has been in remission for just over a year, thanks in no small part to the concerted efforts of my psychologist and myself.
It hasn't made writing any easier, nor has it made my long-neglected drawing skills come springing back, but it has helped in my day-to-day and the sheer amount of ability I have to function.
I know I'm not you, Umbral, and our conditions are vastly different, but it happened for me, and I'm sure it can for you. Even if only a little at a time.
Keep at it. It is worth it. :)
It is actually impossible for me to recover, due to the nature of my problems. I would rather not talk about it.
But can you continue writing and fulfilling your gaming dreams? Even if it is only piece by piece.
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I'm trying.
Be happy you can at least put some work to paper (or screen). And no, that wasn't meant to be offensive. Just jealousy.
I've got at least 4 novels, 9 worlds/settings, and countless short stories dancing through my mind completely finished.
When I try to put them on paper? If I sit there longer than five minutes trying, my head hurts worse than my chronic migraines and I need to lie down in the dark.
That said, I understand depression. Fairly certain I've got it myself, though being in all likelihood a sociopathic schizo-affective ass with borderline non-dissociative multiple personality disorder, it's kind of hard to tell if my general apathy towards just about everything is all of the above, or actual depression. My head-friends cast their votes 4-3 for depression, 2 abstaining.
Best I could advise is... Survive and endure. Something somewhere will prove moderately interesting enough to give you reason enough to keep enduring and surviving. Dunno what, dunno when, but something'll pique your interest enough. Existence sucks balls, but the choice moments that come along are at least interesting enough to continue doing it.
.... That's about as helpful as I get. Sorry.
After trying to write for 35 years, I've come to the conclusion that while I may be good at it (and people have told me I am) my writer's block is because I hate it. I'll never write the novel or short stories in my head because I have such a hard time making myself enjoy writing them.
Like Artemis, I can sit down with a million ideas and in 5 minutes I've walked away with a headache and a bad disposition. I used to long hand write elaborate back grounds for my adventures, but as I get older I find I dislike that more and more. Now, my adventure notes are about a page if that much and computer printed copies of the monsters and major NPCs and bad guys.