Dear Guaril,

Look, I know things are busy for you down at the Pickled Imp but I thought I should take some time and let you know how unhappy I've been with some of your missions lately. Now, if you're too busy to give me a mission yourself, I don't really mind being hired out to the other factions, especially when it gets me more shinies. But some of these other faction leaders are ridiculous.

Here's the thing. I'm really good at stealing things. And sneaking around and cutting off the occasional head. You need a message sent? I'm your bird. And if you've noticed the recent payoffs from the Ivy District, you'll see that since I took over that ruined Crowsworn base I've been earning just fine up here.

But when you make me listen to some Taldan chump who wants me to find some jeweled piece of junk so he can put it on his shelf, or some Qadiran who needs me to broker some stupid trade deal? It just makes me sad inside, like you don't actually care about my needs.

Remember the good times at the Green Market? Or with that punk kobold guild down in the Puddles? More of that, please.

Guaril, help me help you help me. More shinies for everyone is going to make us all happy.

May Abadar keep building expensive things for the Sczarni to steal.

Kotyk

PS. Pretty please, don't hire me out to the Paracountess. That lady totally freaks me out.

Ohh yes yes yes I agree. Like when those other bird people were attacking that town and I had to extort all of their savings. I dressed up like a baby bird and then color sprayed them when they got close. By the way, do you know those other bird people? I hope you do not mind my enlarged barbarian servant koooo-deee-grawed them he said. I was also mad when he told me to get beat up by some snake lady and scream for taldor that hurt my feelings. I am used to being punched by my servant pathfinders for color spraying them, but not by mooks. I could have ended it all with a colorspray Who is the paracountess? Does she paralyze counting? That would be awesome to do to a merchant.

Hmm. Ponti, you need this glass of Subtle Tea to calm yourself. Or would you prefer some of this Black Wine? It is very sweet.

And dear Kotyk, what ever would you expect if not shinies from our advisor Guaril? He presents us with opportunities to feather our nests. Has he not taught us that when you look around the room and can't spot the mark, then it's you? Wisdom is hard learned and he offers it generously to us, though at times I too find the path to wisdom is not a peaceful one.

Is it magic tea? I love magic. A magic potion made me a tree once. How many gnomes get to becoem trees? I bet not many. I looooove sweets too.

ALmost everyroom I go in is full of marks. Most people can see and thus are able to be colorsprayed. Silly talls thinking thier height gives them a sight advantage.

Fah peace. We should conquer the dismember-ver-ative. I do not see why the gorilla guy leading us has to threaten to beat us up? I mean he should send us out to rough people up.

Yes, Ponti, I see your point. As you say, we should remove the rough edges and hone ourselves to improve the Sczarni. Perhaps here in Abosolom you have heard of The Puddles and maybe you would find your purpose there. Or even in Riddleport in far Varisia might suit your special talents. I am quite sure that Master Karela could find you of service there.

Kotyk, let me not forget your interests here. Shinies may be found aplenty in Riddleport I am told. Make the journey, take them for whatever they are worth, good friend. The locals are an interesting lot, but Varisians always are. Go, make a good impression upon our brethren there and a deeper one upon our enemies.