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The Thread Celestial


Off-Topic Discussions

1,701 to 1,750 of 3,165 << first < prev | 30 | 31 | 32 | 33 | 34 | 35 | 36 | 37 | 38 | 39 | 40 | next > last >>

If you must know...

I've been told I'm a terrible cleric because of my domain, feat, and spell selection.


Celestial Follower wrote:

If you must know...

I've been told I'm a terrible cleric because of my domain, feat, and spell selection.

I blame that infernal Sorting Hat.

Silver Crusade

Celestial Follower wrote:

If you must know...

I've been told I'm a terrible cleric because of my domain, feat, and spell selection.

You should never have dipped into that level of Swashbuckler. It doesn't suit you anyway.


I know! I didn't even qualify for the class. It was a complete waste of a level.

I've learned my lesson, though, so I'm going to take a level in Blackguard next.

Silver Crusade

I think I need to review your character sheet.


<Hands CH a sheet with crayon marks all over it, pentagrams in permanent marker, and is that Angel Fish looking like a fish stick in the oven? The value listed next to Strength is a symbol of pain.>

Here you go. I used some optimizations I found on the Internet.

Silver Crusade

Celestial Follower wrote:

<Hands CH a sheet with crayon marks all over it, pentagrams in permanent marker, and is that Angel Fish looking like a fish stick in the oven? The value listed next to Strength is a symbol of pain.>

Here you go. I used some optimizations I found on the Internet.

I didn't realize realize "I <heart> Asmodeus" was a feat.


Oh, that reminds me, under the new ruleset I get more feats.

<Writes in "I spade your poodle", "I club baby seals", and "I diamond a greater share of the treasure">

I'm all set now!

Silver Crusade

Should we play bobbing for apples?


Can Paladins from Nevada join this thread. I like succubus strippers. I gamble too.


We welcome everyone here, from diabolical microwaves to foul-mouthed dretches. We've even got a fish. And one or two celestials.

Boss, I take it we're switching from the usual bobbing for turnips this year?

Silver Crusade

It wasn't the turnips that were a problem, but the turpentine they were floating in.


Celestial Healer wrote:
It wasn't the turnips that were a problem, but the turpentine they were floating in.

Healer, Healer, I've been thinking,

What in 9 Hells have you been drinking?
Is it whiskey, is it wine?
Oh my gods, it's turpentine!

<HICCUP!> {starts on another Leng Island Iced Tea}


Hmmm. It tasted like lemonade to me.

Silver Crusade

Seriously? I never thought I would have to ask this but... How many of you are completely drunk right now?


Celestial Follower wrote:

Whoa! I didn't know I could summon undead!

Um, could you kindly gnaw on that heretic's brain.

<Points in a random direction>

Hey! Why are you pointing at me?


Angel Fish wrote:
Celestial Follower wrote:

Whoa! I didn't know I could summon undead!

Um, could you kindly gnaw on that heretic's brain.

<Points in a random direction>

Hey! Why are you pointing at me?

I assure you it has nothing to do with me imagining how you'd look battered and fried.


Celestial Healer wrote:
Seriously? I never thought I would have to ask this but... How many of you are completely drunk right now?

Hang on, I'm trying to remember when I was last sober.

Mmmm, I'm really hungry for fish and chips right now. Or maybe fried calamari.


{pops into thread} Oooo, this place looks nice and Lawful. I'll just hide in this punchbowl. {hops into Angel Fish's bowl}


Celestial Healer wrote:
Seriously? I never thought I would have to ask this but... How many of you are completely drunk right now?

Define completely dunkshhh...


{suspiciously eyes weird cauliflower thingie in the fishbowl}

Celestial Follower wrote:
Celestial Healer wrote:
Seriously? I never thought I would have to ask this but... How many of you are completely drunk right now?
Define completely dunkshhh...

Drunk enough to think up something like a self-multiplying rat or a frog made of lethal flubber? I kid.


Celestial Thaumoctopus wrote:

{suspiciously eyes weird cauliflower thingie in the fishbowl}

Celestial Follower wrote:
Celestial Healer wrote:
Seriously? I never thought I would have to ask this but... How many of you are completely drunk right now?
Define completely dunkshhh...
Drunk enough to think up something like a self-multiplying rat or a frog made of lethal flubber? I kid.

I shouldn't have been wearing that helmet that made my thoughts come to life.

I don't even want to imagine what would come out of my brain under the influence of, well, anything other than caffeine and sugar.

Silver Crusade

Less chatter, more nachos.


Here ya go boss!

I'm trying out a new recipe I made up myself.

Silver Crusade

Mmmm. What's in them?


A blend of squid, turnips, and goat cheese. Pretty good, huh?


Celestial Follower wrote:
A blend of squid, turnips, and goat cheese. Pretty good, huh?

I have OJ and Vodka. Anyone care for a round or two? I can make Cap Cods if you need them.


Celestial Follower wrote:
A blend of squid, turnips, and goat cheese. Pretty good, huh?

Mmmm, tasty! {wolfs down more}


Celestial Follower wrote:
A blend of squid, turnips, and goat cheese. Pretty good, huh?

{stomach rumbles} Man, I sure miss having hands. {hops home to evict squatter iBrain}

Silver Crusade

Sunny Godhead wrote:
Celestial Follower wrote:
A blend of squid, turnips, and goat cheese. Pretty good, huh?
I have OJ and Vodka. Anyone care for a round or two? I can make Cap Cods if you need them.

Ooh! A new guest! And he makes drinks!


No one liked my Bloody Marys...

Silver Crusade

Celestial Follower wrote:
No one liked my Bloody Marys...

Where did you wind up hiding the bodies, if I might ask?


Celestial Healer wrote:
Celestial Follower wrote:
No one liked my Bloody Marys...
Where did you wind up hiding the bodies, if I might ask?

Oven suggested some recipes. You remember the series of pork dishes? The ones everyone thought were too stringy?

That grossed me out typing it.


Do forgive my tardiness. I had to attend to some meat that was going to spoil. I've brought a chianti. Excellent vintage. It seems the perfect pairing for Celestial Follower's menu. Angel Fish, your bowl smells of cheap perfume and shame. Shall we dine?

Cheliax

Celestial Follower wrote:
Celestial Healer wrote:


Where did you wind up hiding the bodies, if I might ask?
Oven suggested some recipes. You remember the series of pork dishes? The ones everyone thought were too stringy?...

Hey, don't blame me - those recipes turned out fine on Iron Chef. Although Alton did keep whining about something called "kuru." I think it was some Papua New Guinea spice or condiment or something.

Silver Crusade

Wow. Our thread is full of newcomers.


I'm going to run out of faux leather placemats.

Silver Crusade

You'll have to tan some heretic hides to make more.


Celestial Healer wrote:
You'll have to tan some heretic hides to make more.

Faux heretics? Or rich Corinthian heretics?

Silver Crusade

Celestial Thaumoctopus wrote:
Celestial Healer wrote:
You'll have to tan some heretic hides to make more.
Faux heretics? Or rich Corinthian heretics?

I bet we could find some heretics in Corinth...


Celestial Healer wrote:
Celestial Thaumoctopus wrote:
Celestial Healer wrote:
You'll have to tan some heretic hides to make more.
Faux heretics? Or rich Corinthian heretics?
I bet we could find some heretics in Corinth...

You can always use members of Nevada's Tea Party if you can't find any in Corinth...


This hellhound followed me home. Can we keep him? Pwease???

I'll call him Connie (short for Conflagration).

Silver Crusade

Celestial Follower wrote:

This hellhound followed me home. Can we keep him? Pwease???

I'll call him Connie (short for Conflagration).

Last week it was a halfling, and you never fed it. I'm still trying to air the smell out of my study.

...

Aww, you know I can never say no.


Ah, ah, ahhhhhccccchhhhooooooooo!

Silver Crusade

Snot'zt Phlegm'Spewen wrote:
Ah, ah, ahhhhhccccchhhhooooooooo!

remove disease

CF, clean that up.


Celestial Healer wrote:
Snot'zt Phlegm'Spewen wrote:
Ah, ah, ahhhhhccccchhhhooooooooo!

remove disease

CF, clean that up.

Oh, look, Connie already took care of it. Isn't that...

No, Connie, don't sneeze!

Well, I didn't like those curtains anyway.


*Sigh*

This place isn't the same without CH getting all exasperated. I miss hearing, "CF take that thing off your head. You don't know where it's been."

*Sigh*

Silver Crusade

CF, stop eating out of the ashtray.


Oh hey boss, you're back!

I was just sampling new flavors for my next culinary creation...

Silver Crusade

*puts down fork and stops eating "Marlboro Surprise"*

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