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Granted to both of you, unfortunatly you both wear him down with so much pet-ing that he bursts into flames
I wish for a zombie army
Granted!
The zombie army stumbles and shambles and consumes all in its path. Leaving you utterly and irrevocably alone in the world... with your zombie army for company.
I wish big business would learn to respect their customers.
Granted: Customers are happy, they spend more money. Employees get raises because profits are so high. The world prospers, and everyone realizes, "hey, what are we fighting for? Let's make more love."
I wish hacker movies were popular again.
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Granted: Customers are happy, they spend more money. Employees get raises because profits are so high. The world prospers, and everyone realizes, "hey, what are we fighting for? Let's make more love."
I wish hacker movies were popular again.
granted... but all computers in the world crash after a few 'hackers' messing about made a computer virus that permanently erased everything on everyones computer after seeing one of the new hacker movies
i wish for a new laptop
i wish for a new laptop
Larry the Laptop arrives at your place of residence this afternoon and proceeds to devour your life. The police will finally manage to wrench it from your skeletal hands in 2145 and toss it into the nearest incinerator before it can take any of them as well; the force of extracting the malevolent machine from your unliving grasp reduces your skeleton to dust.
I wish I was getting paid an actual salary to sit at home and work on character building and class conversion.
RPG Superstar 2010 Top 16
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I wish I was getting paid an actual salary to sit at home and work on character building and class conversion.
Granted, o humble master, and indeed it is a princely sum. We regret, the only game system so eager for such expertise is Spawn of Fashan.
I wish this thread would start up again.
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I wish this thread would start up again.
Granted! Sadly, shortly thereafter, an alien A.I. with vast, godlike powers seizes control the world's internet, notices this thread, and decides to grant all wishes contained herein at once. The resulting surge of madness/power/temporal energy/cats causes the complete destruction of all reality.
I wish it would NOT snow for the remainder of this winter.
I wish to use time more productively.
Dear Mr. Mortika,
Granted. Report to my suite at midnight, but make sure you have put your personal affairs put in order first and please notify your next of kin that you have just disinherited them. I may be chaotic, but that doesn't mean I can't be forward-thinking...Yours,
Ask A Succubus.
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RPG Superstar 2010 Top 16
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The presence of six out of the seven tome archons radiates positive energy like you wouldn't believe. Abrzombie dies a happy zombie, long before he can even get the exploding pudding into his pants. The archons bemuse themselves, snacking on saltines.
I dearly wish for the chance to play D&D under Dave Arnesson.
The presence of six out of the seven tome archons radiates positive energy like you wouldn't believe. Abrzombie dies a happy zombie, long before he can even get the exploding pudding into his pants. The archons bemuse themselves, snacking on saltines.
I dearly wish for the chance to play D&D under Dave Arnesson.
GRANTED:
You are nudged awake by Daigle next to you. "Sorry, it's the lack of oxyg-"
He slowly puts an unsteady finger to his lips, then nods his head toward the dice. You manage to scoop them up on your second attempt and shake them gently. You seem to remember fighting a band of trolls, but the miniatures arrayed before you waver unsteadily.
Next to you, Sarah closes her eyes wearily. "Next time, Chris, don't forget the air... holes..." She slumps over against the wall of the 10'x10'x10' crate in which you have all been gaming. The crate buried just beneath Mr. Arnesson's coffin.
The flashlight flickers briefly, then dies. A giggle escapes your lips; your last thought is wondering if you still have magic missile memorized to fire it at the dark.
---
I wish... that trolls stopped regenerating when exposed to fire, acid, or smurfs.
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I wish that any statement of one-upsmanship made by someone else in my presence yielded extreme pain for the speaker.
Granted! Unfortunately, the statement he decides to one-up is the above wish, to which he adds - "and that pain is visited upon the person I'm one-upping 1,000-fold and lasts for eternity, leaving that person an insane, drooling mess.
I wish that it would never snow again in whatever location I am residing.
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I wish I never said or did anything that I regretted later.Granted! You become a conscience-free sociopath with a faulty memory. Of course, the only path in life left to you is politics.
I wish could find a local gaming group consisting of friendly, well-adjusted players who are free from the kinds of personality defects so often found in gamers.
Granted. Unfortunately, their group is full. However, they do know of a game full of maladjusted sociopaths with an opening. Just don't ask what happened to the guy you are replacing.
I wish I had a personal secretary.
...I wish I had a personal secretary.
"CH? I need to see you in my office."
You save your current Excel file, attach it to an email, and forward it your secretary who's off on break. Grabbing your mug, you stop for coffee on your way to the boss' office.
As you step inside, he motions for you to close the door behind you. You now notice the HR Manager sitting in the adjacent seat. "Sit down, CH."
The HR Manager takes over. "CH, we've noticed that a large amount of confidential and potentially embarrassing information has been leaked about our clients." His frown deepens to a scowl. "And about our company. We've traced the leaks... back to you."
"Wha-?! But that's not possible! I've never-"
"I'm sorry, CH. You'll probably want to retain your own legal counsel; our legal department will be in touch with you in the next couple days." He nods to our boss. "She'll collect your badge and escort you to the door. We'll have your desk cleaned out and the contents shipped to you."
As your boss walks you out, a guard joins you to ensure compliance. Your mind reels in confusion.
Meanwhile...
Zombie Assange clicks the email you just sent and opens the attachment. "Excellent." He chuckles in that dry wheezing voice. He copies-and-pastes the info into a web form on the Wikileaks site. Once finished, a rictus slowly spreads across his face as he logs back onto the messageboard and starts the first of several trollish responses in the new Playtest section.
*****
I wish... that people in the Playtest forums would be rational, reasonable, and civil to one another.
The genie explodes.
Some things are just not possible.
{whispers:} You forgot to make a wish, Chris.
blow. harder.
The genie explodes.
Some things are just not possible.
your lack of wishes angers the dragon wrapped around the world. His annoyance makes him wake up. Thus cracking the world and bringing about ragnarock.
I wish for the ability to control matter, space, and time with exacting precision as well as the knowledge to wield this power without ending the universe (unless I choose to) with absolutely no negative consequences of any kind.
I wish for the ability to control matter, space, and time with exacting precision as well as the knowledge to wield this power without ending the universe (unless I choose to) with absolutely no negative consequences of any kind.
You are monotheistic God and quickly a variety of mutually exclusive cults spring up to worship you, crashing planes into buildings and torturing each other all in your name.
I wish everyone agreed with me about alignment.
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I wish that I have the power of the fates but I could control it better then them so I could control everything, even the gods.
Granted! Sadly, your mind and body never having been designed to handle such massive power, all life as you know it stops instantaneously and every molecule in your body explodes at the speed of light.
I wish I had some boiled crawfish.
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I wish I could get within five feet of my grille without triggering a thunderstorm.
Granted! As you saunter up to the grille, a sandstorm buries your entire hometown.
I wish I had more time to game.
THE NECROMANCER STRIKES! You are transformed into a d20 passed around like a village bicycle at an endless PFS game at GenCon Infinity.
I wish I lived in Ponyville.
I wish I lived in Ponyville.
GRANTED: You now live in Ponyville... as a Toxoplasma gondii protozoa in a cyst in Spike's brain.
I wish... people started regularly posting in this thread again.
Granted. Sadly, the new posters will miss the point entirely and begin granting the wishes sincerely.
I wish June Cleaver would leave, now, and never come back.
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Granted. Sadly, the new posters will miss the point entirely and begin granting the wishes sincerely.
I wish June Cleaver would leave, now, and never come back.
Your wish is granted. June Cleaver is now surgically attached to your front, so she will never be at your back.
I wish Kobold Cleaver had a brain. :-)
Granted. Sadly, the new posters will miss the point entirely and begin granting the wishes sincerely.
I wish June Cleaver would leave, now, and never come back.
Your wish is granted. June Cleaver is now surgically attached to your front, so she will never be at your back.
I wish Kobold Cleaver had a brain. :-)
Granted. A human brain, in a jar, from a pickled punk. That recites maddening poetry via undeadelepathy that slowly screws up your mind and longings for peace and quite and no-more-threads.
I wish I knew...
I wish I knew...
GRANTED
Much like Prak before you, you learn it All. Thankfully for the rest of all other sentients, you are immediately quarantined in an inescapable sound-proof room for the remainder of your days. However, you take some small consolation in 1) knowing the exact horrible reasons why Paulie Shore and Adam Sandler are still considered funny by a sizable portion of the population, and b) what Batman's actual alignment is.
I wish I knew what to eat for breakfast.
I wish I knew...GRANTED
Much like Prak before you, you learn it All. Thankfully for the rest of all other sentients, you are immediately quarantined in an inescapable sound-proof room for the remainder of your days. However, you take some small consolation in 1) knowing the exact horrible reasons why Paulie Shore and Adam Sandler are still considered funny by a sizable portion of the population, and b) what Batman's actual alignment is.
I wish I knew what to eat for breakfast.
I recommend the raw octopus tentacles served up on steamed white rice with soy sauce. Just the thing!
Actually, if you've ever had sushi in Japan you will find that it can be excellent and the octopus tentacles are surprisingly tasty. But to the average gaijin it sounds really weird.