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Celestial Follower's page

659 posts. Alias of Mike Welham (Contributor, RPG Superstar 2012).


1 to 50 of 659 << first < prev | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | next > last >>

I made some yolk 'L's one time when I was cooking.

Celestial Healer wrote:
I want one.

I think it will cost you your soul to get one.

3 people marked this as a favorite.

What a coincidence! I just got a job delivering pizzas at Daemono's. I tried to apply at Baba Yaga's Pizza Hut, but the manager seemed really cranky. I'm hoping I can get in the kitchen, but my trainer, The Fleshless One, I mean, Mr. The Fleshless One says that I'm much more suitable as a driver. Anyway, I recommend that you try the Die-Whyin', which has generous portions of Sacrificial Ham and Painapple.

Oh, oh, oh, and I met this girl who might be "the one". She seems to really get me. Her name is Braaaaaiiiinnnnnssssss, or something like that. I think she's from one of those exotic Outer Planes like Mechanus. The Fleshless...Mr. The Fleshless One pointed out in the employee manual, entitled Employee Suffering, wow they have a sense of humor at Daemono's, I mean who really enjoys their job, right, he pointed out that employee relationships are only permissible if one of the employees is syphilitic, whatever that means.

I think the slaads got into the power converters again.

2 people marked this as a favorite.

I really should have taken the Paula Deen correspondence Cooking and Racism course.

She was the only one who interviewed for the job, though. And you said I needed help in the kitchen.

Kinda more like petrified parsnip chips.

I'll go back to the flaying box.

What the...I'm not even carrying a present!

Oh no, the smurfnibblers took away my abillitie to spell!

I don't trust any business that misspells crazzy.


Oh, you know what? Those might have been those smurfnibblers that got turned into rutabagas. You promised to reverse the transformation, boss, like a couple of centuries ago.

The rutabagas screamed. That should count for something.

They were big rutabagas, too. Each one must have weighed a pound at least.

I sacrificed a dozen rutabagas!

I'm Lawful Tur...Good.

1 person marked this as a favorite.

Plus I was really sad that I bruised all those turnips.

I can't help it if I'm going through my tube top-juggalo phase.

I can't see anything in a mirror, boss. Remember that gypsy curse?

I really shouldn't have hit her with my celestial shopping cart...

Pinrut juice is the main ingredient.

My Harmy Bangwallers are planar famous.

Well, that's an interesting acronym. I never paid attention to that.

It stands for Turnip Terrier Indigenous Transplantation System.

You see, I wanted to get Planting Dogs for my turnips.

Oh wow, I hope I didn't cause that...

There we go!

<calls number>

Hey, boss? They're asking for a credit card number. Can I use the Celestial account?

Maybe I should contact a celestial guru. Anyone have a number handy?

I did invite one of those empyreal lords, but he said he lost his invitation.

Thanks, boss! I like it when my hard work gets recognized.

axomiatic? I was drunk when I posted that?


You're my favorite turnip, Axomi.

<Brandishing axomiatic turnip>

Out damned slaad! Out, I say!

2 people marked this as a favorite.


I'll prepare a batch of methadone cookies for the inevitable, boss.

Yay! My fourteenth favorite!

I just saw a triple rainbow.

Has anyone seen my recipe folder? I wanted to make a nice rutaturradden.

The turnips are in the attic!

Pickle juice is pretty good.

By the way, I only use turnips in cider.

Did you know that a lion's roar can be heard from five miles away?

Weird...I don't usually dispense useless facts, unless it's about turnips.

Buttered, but it has to be real butter.

Is a number 2 pencil best for one's nose?

Here you can lend anything you want. Even plants. If you eat it, though, that makes it a little more difficult to return it, at least in its original form.

I'm special! Like a unique turnip flower.

3 people marked this as a favorite.

Balor? I hardly know her!

1 person marked this as a favorite.

Oooooooh, sparkly!

<Throws root vegetable donuts in pot>

There we go!

Oops...where'd those cigarette butts come from?

1 person marked this as a favorite.

<Covered in powdered sugar and sprinkles>

Some kid "banished" me to the Donut Field! It took me forever to get *burp* out.

Don't worry, though, I brought back plenty of turnip and rutabaga donuts for everyone!

Oh, I meant buggin'.

I was undone by Infernal Autocorrect.

And then I'll pull out the five pound turnip I've been saving just for the occasion.

2 people marked this as a favorite.

I've been practicing my sure fire sexy come on too:

Hey baby, ya wanna see how bug my turnip is?

Boss, if you get into the pop music racket, I'll be a roadie.

Celestial Healer wrote:
I am feeling quite a bit better than I was a few days ago. If this continues, it will be a short cold I had to deal with.

I knew those turnip poultices would help, boss.

1 to 50 of 659 << first < prev | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | next > last >>

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