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Celestial Follower's page

666 posts. Alias of Mike Welham (Contributor, RPG Superstar 2012).


1 to 50 of 666 << first < prev | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | next > last >>

Freehold DM wrote:
Celestial Healer wrote:

So the hand specialist said my hand is still messed up because I've been favoring it so much. The ultrasound showed a foreign object as well though, probably glass, smaller than a grain of sand.

I get to do some intensive physical therapy. That may be all that is needed, but if it doesn't improve he may have to do something more invasive.

put that hand in the corner, and let the other one have more pudding and other treats. Be mean!

I brought the cone of shame so you won't mess with your hand, boss.

Aw, darn it. The magic turnip salesperson told me that those turnips would never spoil.

I remember when I thought you were a weird little squirrel, CFO.

I've heard they're magically delicious.

Celestial Healer wrote:
What do you mean "sober up"? Since when does the Celestial thread allow booze?

I didn't get drunk in the Thread Celestial.

I blame imps. Or cacodaemons.

Celestial Thaumoctopus wrote:

Well, after the CDC confiscated the leprosy-laden armadillo petting zoo, you cracked open a bottle of Ol' Janx Spirit and started drinking. About an hour later, you shouted something about Mrs. Frisby and Nicodemus weighing the same as a duck and therefore witches... so you set your Burt Reynold's Franklin Mint Commemorative Toupee Collection on fire.

CH & I made s'mores though. {offers plate of s'mores to CF}

I really miss the Cannonball Runner, now that I've had time to sober up.

Why is my hair on fire?

What's especially weird about that is I have no hair.

I made some yolk 'L's one time when I was cooking.

Celestial Healer wrote:
I want one.

I think it will cost you your soul to get one.

3 people marked this as a favorite.

What a coincidence! I just got a job delivering pizzas at Daemono's. I tried to apply at Baba Yaga's Pizza Hut, but the manager seemed really cranky. I'm hoping I can get in the kitchen, but my trainer, The Fleshless One, I mean, Mr. The Fleshless One says that I'm much more suitable as a driver. Anyway, I recommend that you try the Die-Whyin', which has generous portions of Sacrificial Ham and Painapple.

Oh, oh, oh, and I met this girl who might be "the one". She seems to really get me. Her name is Braaaaaiiiinnnnnssssss, or something like that. I think she's from one of those exotic Outer Planes like Mechanus. The Fleshless...Mr. The Fleshless One pointed out in the employee manual, entitled Employee Suffering, wow they have a sense of humor at Daemono's, I mean who really enjoys their job, right, he pointed out that employee relationships are only permissible if one of the employees is syphilitic, whatever that means.

I think the slaads got into the power converters again.

2 people marked this as a favorite.

I really should have taken the Paula Deen correspondence Cooking and Racism course.

She was the only one who interviewed for the job, though. And you said I needed help in the kitchen.

Kinda more like petrified parsnip chips.

I'll go back to the flaying box.

What the...I'm not even carrying a present!

Oh no, the smurfnibblers took away my abillitie to spell!

I don't trust any business that misspells crazzy.


Oh, you know what? Those might have been those smurfnibblers that got turned into rutabagas. You promised to reverse the transformation, boss, like a couple of centuries ago.

The rutabagas screamed. That should count for something.

They were big rutabagas, too. Each one must have weighed a pound at least.

I sacrificed a dozen rutabagas!

I'm Lawful Tur...Good.

1 person marked this as a favorite.

Plus I was really sad that I bruised all those turnips.

I can't help it if I'm going through my tube top-juggalo phase.

I can't see anything in a mirror, boss. Remember that gypsy curse?

I really shouldn't have hit her with my celestial shopping cart...

Pinrut juice is the main ingredient.

My Harmy Bangwallers are planar famous.

Well, that's an interesting acronym. I never paid attention to that.

It stands for Turnip Terrier Indigenous Transplantation System.

You see, I wanted to get Planting Dogs for my turnips.

Oh wow, I hope I didn't cause that...

There we go!

<calls number>

Hey, boss? They're asking for a credit card number. Can I use the Celestial account?

Maybe I should contact a celestial guru. Anyone have a number handy?

I did invite one of those empyreal lords, but he said he lost his invitation.

Thanks, boss! I like it when my hard work gets recognized.

axomiatic? I was drunk when I posted that?


You're my favorite turnip, Axomi.

<Brandishing axomiatic turnip>

Out damned slaad! Out, I say!

2 people marked this as a favorite.


I'll prepare a batch of methadone cookies for the inevitable, boss.

Yay! My fourteenth favorite!

I just saw a triple rainbow.

Has anyone seen my recipe folder? I wanted to make a nice rutaturradden.

The turnips are in the attic!

Pickle juice is pretty good.

By the way, I only use turnips in cider.

Did you know that a lion's roar can be heard from five miles away?

Weird...I don't usually dispense useless facts, unless it's about turnips.

Buttered, but it has to be real butter.

Is a number 2 pencil best for one's nose?

Here you can lend anything you want. Even plants. If you eat it, though, that makes it a little more difficult to return it, at least in its original form.

I'm special! Like a unique turnip flower.

3 people marked this as a favorite.

Balor? I hardly know her!

1 person marked this as a favorite.

Oooooooh, sparkly!

1 to 50 of 666 << first < prev | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | next > last >>

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