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Celestial Follower's page

670 posts. Alias of Mike Welham (Contributor, RPG Superstar 2012).


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2 people marked this as a favorite.
Freehold DM wrote:

In today's Darklight Sisterhood game, I had the party face the charibdys, a dreaded creature of the deep. I thought it would be an amazing combat as the party would avoid being knocked overboard and do limited damage with it via spells and distance attacks. Truly, a battle for the ages.

They ate it.


The spellcasters INSISTED on using flame and lightning attacks against it, and forbade the fighters from wounding it, lest they spoil the meat. The sorceress(my wife)had a lobster bib on halfway through the combat. Spell after spell went into this thing, which eventually expired after a flame strike(holy damage) took it out.

They picked out the treasure from its bits and pieces while they cooked it, enjoying the music from a golden music box they plucked from its possessions as they stuffed the body with garlic and other spices.

Challenge rating 13 is now culinary rating 13.

I hope they used the right kind of butter.


1 person marked this as a favorite.
Celestial Healer wrote:
captain yesterday wrote:

Now i have a night of cleaning and cooking ahead if i want to have a nice house and something tasty to eat for my birthday, i'm making Lemon Angel Delight, which is what happens when you leave lemon pudding, angel food cake and two things of Cool Whip together without a chaperone :-D

edit: the recipe if anyone wants it:-)

1 big package (or two little) of Jello Cook and Serve lemon pudding
1 angel food cake (we make ours with a mix because they're cheap, but a pre-made angel food cake works just fine)
2 smaller containers of Cool Whip or 1 large one
A mold pan, or dish or whatever:-)

Make the pudding according to its directions, tear up the angel food cake into a large bowl, add the Cool Whip then the pudding (you want it warm when you pour it in) mix it all up throw it in a mold or big f#$%ing bowl and let it set-up and try not to eat it yourself, seriously its that good:-)

edit 2: added the flavor of pudding, i also have a homemade lemon pudding recipe if you prefer that to store bought:-)

Dear god, is nothing sacred? Now you're turning Angels into cakes?!

I experimented with that once. I couldn't get all the feathers out, though.

1 person marked this as a favorite.


The boss is getting married, and I haven't met his fiancé yet. I should tidy up the place for when they show up. We need to make a good first impression!

Freehold DM wrote:
Celestial Healer wrote:

So the hand specialist said my hand is still messed up because I've been favoring it so much. The ultrasound showed a foreign object as well though, probably glass, smaller than a grain of sand.

I get to do some intensive physical therapy. That may be all that is needed, but if it doesn't improve he may have to do something more invasive.

put that hand in the corner, and let the other one have more pudding and other treats. Be mean!

I brought the cone of shame so you won't mess with your hand, boss.

Aw, darn it. The magic turnip salesperson told me that those turnips would never spoil.

I remember when I thought you were a weird little squirrel, CFO.

I've heard they're magically delicious.

Celestial Healer wrote:
What do you mean "sober up"? Since when does the Celestial thread allow booze?

I didn't get drunk in the Thread Celestial.

I blame imps. Or cacodaemons.

Celestial Thaumoctopus wrote:

Well, after the CDC confiscated the leprosy-laden armadillo petting zoo, you cracked open a bottle of Ol' Janx Spirit and started drinking. About an hour later, you shouted something about Mrs. Frisby and Nicodemus weighing the same as a duck and therefore witches... so you set your Burt Reynold's Franklin Mint Commemorative Toupee Collection on fire.

CH & I made s'mores though. {offers plate of s'mores to CF}

I really miss the Cannonball Runner, now that I've had time to sober up.

Why is my hair on fire?

What's especially weird about that is I have no hair.

I made some yolk 'L's one time when I was cooking.

Celestial Healer wrote:
I want one.

I think it will cost you your soul to get one.

3 people marked this as a favorite.

What a coincidence! I just got a job delivering pizzas at Daemono's. I tried to apply at Baba Yaga's Pizza Hut, but the manager seemed really cranky. I'm hoping I can get in the kitchen, but my trainer, The Fleshless One, I mean, Mr. The Fleshless One says that I'm much more suitable as a driver. Anyway, I recommend that you try the Die-Whyin', which has generous portions of Sacrificial Ham and Painapple.

Oh, oh, oh, and I met this girl who might be "the one". She seems to really get me. Her name is Braaaaaiiiinnnnnssssss, or something like that. I think she's from one of those exotic Outer Planes like Mechanus. The Fleshless...Mr. The Fleshless One pointed out in the employee manual, entitled Employee Suffering, wow they have a sense of humor at Daemono's, I mean who really enjoys their job, right, he pointed out that employee relationships are only permissible if one of the employees is syphilitic, whatever that means.

I think the slaads got into the power converters again.

2 people marked this as a favorite.

I really should have taken the Paula Deen correspondence Cooking and Racism course.

She was the only one who interviewed for the job, though. And you said I needed help in the kitchen.

Kinda more like petrified parsnip chips.

I'll go back to the flaying box.

What the...I'm not even carrying a present!

Oh no, the smurfnibblers took away my abillitie to spell!

I don't trust any business that misspells crazzy.


Oh, you know what? Those might have been those smurfnibblers that got turned into rutabagas. You promised to reverse the transformation, boss, like a couple of centuries ago.

The rutabagas screamed. That should count for something.

They were big rutabagas, too. Each one must have weighed a pound at least.

I sacrificed a dozen rutabagas!

I'm Lawful Tur...Good.

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Plus I was really sad that I bruised all those turnips.

I can't help it if I'm going through my tube top-juggalo phase.

I can't see anything in a mirror, boss. Remember that gypsy curse?

I really shouldn't have hit her with my celestial shopping cart...

Pinrut juice is the main ingredient.

My Harmy Bangwallers are planar famous.

Well, that's an interesting acronym. I never paid attention to that.

It stands for Turnip Terrier Indigenous Transplantation System.

You see, I wanted to get Planting Dogs for my turnips.

Oh wow, I hope I didn't cause that...

There we go!

<calls number>

Hey, boss? They're asking for a credit card number. Can I use the Celestial account?

Maybe I should contact a celestial guru. Anyone have a number handy?

I did invite one of those empyreal lords, but he said he lost his invitation.

Thanks, boss! I like it when my hard work gets recognized.

axomiatic? I was drunk when I posted that?


You're my favorite turnip, Axomi.

<Brandishing axomiatic turnip>

Out damned slaad! Out, I say!

2 people marked this as a favorite.


I'll prepare a batch of methadone cookies for the inevitable, boss.

Yay! My fourteenth favorite!

I just saw a triple rainbow.

Has anyone seen my recipe folder? I wanted to make a nice rutaturradden.

The turnips are in the attic!

Pickle juice is pretty good.

By the way, I only use turnips in cider.

Did you know that a lion's roar can be heard from five miles away?

Weird...I don't usually dispense useless facts, unless it's about turnips.

Buttered, but it has to be real butter.

Is a number 2 pencil best for one's nose?

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