Why is this build in Rules Discussion?
Maybe because they're suggesting rules?
But yeah, this is quintessential Homebrew Forum material, even if wanting advice or to discuss the rules of one's creation. Not that I see any questions...so I'm not even sure what they want from posting other than to share maybe?
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Okay, firs thing is utterly petty and nit-picky... ninja didn't wear black, they work dark blue.
for weapons I would include rope darts as well.
I would consider the name or flavor of some of your feats.
"Avoid Creaking floors" sounds like it should be letting you move at full speed while sneaking, not searching.
is this supposed to be like an idea for an Archetype? you refer to "body guard" on several occasions not really clear what that's about.
I love the idea of a shinobi archetype or class. but while the feats are giving it a good bit of identity, I would try and find a core mechanic to this idea, something that the dedication feat would grant.
Okay lets analyze the homebrew with my (limited) knowledge of actual shinobi, my fictional shinobi knowledge and my gm experience
This looks to me like it should either be a general or a class archetype
as class archetype it would likely be for rogue replacing the regular racket
While Shinobi were at times bodyguards, they were mostly spies, good at blending in, taking on roles, sometimes waiting for months to get a job only to stand in the background serving tea when important people talked
that being said, there are of course classical infiltrators and occassional assassins among the shinobi
bodyguard is rather rare for that
so let me analyze what you wrote and maybe channel it into something else
Requirements:
Trained in: Deception, Stealth, and Thievery
Recommended also trained in: Acrobatics, Society, and Intimidation
this looks like a setup for an archetype?
I would go for the arcetype skill with 'trained in stealth, gets expert in stealth' and if someone goes for a ninja archetype, they probably take the most fitting things either way
Shinobi wear only cloth armor. A typical outfit conceals them completely including their face, hands and even covers their shoes.
They are trained in several weapons that may be considered illegal.
Blowgun, Hand crossbow, Ninja-to sword, Shuriken, Hidden spear, Caltrops, and poisons.
(note you need Nature skill to know ingredients and Crafting: Poisons to actually make them yourself)
Shinobi wear whatever armor is best to do the job they are currently add :P
caltrops are not technically a weapon rules wise and if you want to give ninjas weapon training it would likely be best to give the archetype a choice of weapons which they gain familiarity with
- Terrifying appearance – dressed in all black cloth, face, hands, and even shoes concealed you are the stuff of stories, gain +4 to all intimidation rolls.
+4 to intimidation rolls is *severe* this one would have to go
a circumstancial bonus that works under the right circumstances would be more fitting, but ninjas usually dont want to be seen in the first place- Know your Protectee – You are aware of the person you are protecting as long as they are within 30 feet of you even if they are concealed, hidden, or invisible. (Bodyguard)
I still wonder about the bodyguard part, but this could be like a mini rutial that you pick a ward during your daily preperations and get the effect of status on them
- Language: Thieves Cant – you can read the special symbols, know the hand codes, and otherwise are able to understand cyphers that are used by your particular Boss
thieves cant is something that imo is missing from the edition, a feat like this is very storyteller depending though. Instead of this vague training, the character could get an autoscaling lore
- Hold breath - character can now hold their breathing three times as long as normal (useful when walking through poison gas, or underwater, ect)
pure suggestion: instead of being able to hold the breath longer, the spell adapt self as a ki spell has a lot of potential, otherwise I would increase the duration even further
- Avoid creaking floors – You can move at normal speed while searching for traps such as: noisy floors, crickets, and regular traps. Note this does not let you move OVER the trap just lets you move at normal pace until you perceive a trap.
Trapfinding rogue feat, maybe a circumstancial stealth bonus
- Ceiling crawl – Using acrobatics and special claws on gloves and shoes you can crawl along a ceiling at 1/4th your normal rate.
Specificly the ceiling is a bit niche, maybe instead grant the character a small climb speed (10ft)
- Propelling shove – Someone needs to move, you shove the offender 20 feet if they are the same size as you. (bodyguard)
the bodyguard thing still surprises me, 20ft shove is also a lot
how about instead, a reaction that you can shove an enemy who would otherwise attack your ward (given you are close enough (15ft?))- Smoke Bomb disappearance – you toss a smoke bomb on your own square, causing you to be hidden (temporarily) You may make a stealth check to leave your location, hopefully without being noticed.
smoke bombs are a low level alchemical item, base alchemist benefits would cover this and some more options
- Walk on water- Character can move across water and even stand on it.
I would check comparable feats that already exist for level, maybe it could be a scaling feat - only moving and ending the turn on dry land or sink, mid level you need to keep moving, high level you can stand on water
- Cloud Fall - Character can now fall 30ft without any damage (athletics roll needed to roll out of the jump though, even if fail no damage but the character is stunned one)
falling leaf monk feat would make a great replacer for this
- Backstab – character can now backstab like a rogue does (see rogue)
you never get to backstab like a rogue if you are not a rogue, the level for this feat is too high I think, you would start with a d4 which auto-scales to d6, see assassin and rogue archetype
- Clear the way! – Intimidation affects all creatures withing a 20ft radius of character, this effects animals, mobile plants, all who can move. {critical success all move 3 actions, success move one action away, critical failure all others are now interested as to why they were told to move) (Bodyguard)
needs more clarification
likely a line aoe that causes creatures to flee (critical) or take a step action, theres a lot one could do and it probably should interact more with the ward, also needs an action count- Walk through wall (Dimension door) – takes three actions, 2 to concentrate, one to move, if at the end of the movement the character is not through the wall.. they are trapped inside it.
people trapped in stuff in 2e usually get forcefully ejected instead, dimension door is not a spell on the list anyway
Save them! – character can carry/haul the individual they are protecting at full speed. (Bodyguard)
very, *very* niche
Wall Walk – Characters can climb walls at normal movement speed
Monk has a wall walk feat, check that one out for reference - and going by what came before you potentially got climbing speed already
Tree flight, If any trees (or bamboo) is within 20 feet of each other- Character can move from tree to tree like a squirrel. Note: You can not sneak doing this movement, because the trees shake
this looks like something between a fourth level jump with a dash of wall run and climbing speed, but only for forests
it is a bit convoluted, I am sure there are better ways to handle this, but I am too tired to figure one out right now- Improved Sneaking – When sneaking the character casts no shadow, Emits no odor and is all but invisible with the advantages of having no shadow.
this looks like another ki spell to me, but the discription is oddly specific in parts, invisibility while sticking to shadows would likely be a good ki-spell effect. Maybe take also a look at the old shadow dancer archetype, has a lot of ninja flavor
- Missile deflection- If someone shoots missiles at your Protectee you can block them regardless of the number of missiles, the character can still get hit, but you block the Protectee (Bodyguard)
this looks like a core feat, the level is *WAY* to high, there are a number of low level feats to block missles, block for others etc
- Pass without Trace – It is impossible to track your movements when using this feat. Note: You move at half speed, because you are raking/ covering your tracks.
this is again oddly specific described, one could easily make a feat to move at full speed with stealth and not leaving traces if opting for half speed - but again the level would be notibly lower
- Float – With one action concentration the character can float in the air at their present altitude. They are subject to winds but as long as concentration is maintained they can either keep their altitude or descend at half movement, you can NOT float up!
There are ki spells from the monk that have similar effects (not identical) those are again lower level then this is and offer more
the limit to not float upwards at this level is also a curious design decision and a rather arbitrary limitation