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Tonight after our session we were talking about our funniest fails on checks. So I was curious what you guys have experienced.
Here is my fail situation:
It was such a funny situation for the whole group , so I was curious what kind of funny fails you have experienced
Dotting. no such experiences of my own for the moment.
My character was an evil version of this alias in skull and shackles.
I played her as the aunt of another character who tracked him across half the world to some dive bar in the Shackles.
The nephew was having drinks with the other characters and had a quick wife on his lap.
My character managed a stealth check and he failed his perception, but most of the others passed, but said nothing until I stood right behind him.
The future captain then made the comment, Dude, I think your moms here... to which my character announced her presence to her wayward nephew by smacking him in the head hard enough to slam his head in to his food and proceeded to deliver a tirade of profanity laced guilt trip that hushed the room until she finished.
Best character intro ever. Best fail on Perception check yet.
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Sneaking around, roll a nat one on Stealth. Goblins notice PC, PC looks at them and shouts "YOU CAN'T SEE ME, I'M HIDING!"
Roll nat one on a Knowledge Check to identify a grey ooze, GM tells me, "You are 100% sure that what you are looking at is a mimic." I proceed to advise to the party how to battle the ooze as though it is a mimic.
DM: Everyone, roll perception
Pogrist: I got a 3. Just a 3.
DM: You found your feet.
*facepalm*
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I know I've had some really good ones, but all I remember is today's event.
The party was asked to make a Perception check to notice a group of cultists ahead. My paladin proceeded to get a 1 on the die, for a total of 7. I announced that his helmet got in the way. The party wizard proceeded to call out "Watch your mouth!" in response to the curse-filled prayers the rest of the party heard, starting combat. My paladin then wondered who he was talking to.
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From 3E days:
NPC: Greetings! I am Lord Krelgar of the Wolflords.
Me: *fails knowledge check* *makes diplomacy check* I am sorry, m'lord, but I am not familiar with your group. I come from a very small town.
NPC: Haha! No problem. We often charge into combat for the King, and we are known for our relationships with wolves.
Me: *rolls a natural 1*
DM: *deer-in-headlights look*
Me: I am certain the local druids would not approve of what you do to those poor animals.
DM: ... f%$^. Roll initiative.
Generally in the games I play in when perception checks get called for and the player rolls low, the default answer seems to be; "You find a tree." Yes this is usually done in the middle of a forest. Non forest replies tend to be more "You find a door" or "You find a wall."
There actually has been more than one occasion now, when the GM has called for a stealth check, and I'm playing characters who wear heavy armor that I've rolled negatives. My default response is, "I'm making enough of a racket that the rest of the party should get a bonus on their checks. I'm obviously causing a distraction."
I had player running a half elf with a CHA of 7 and no ranks in diplomacy. This character goes into a tavern to try and gather information by himself and rolls a 5 on the diplomacy check. He had been playing the character as arrogant and believing that the elven race was superior to humans. He managed to insult the entire tavern so I had him roll another diplomacy check and he rolls a 2. After the remark about humans being shaved apes the people in the tavern were ready to beat the snot out of him so I gave him still one last chance to try and salvage the situation and of course he rolls a 1. By the time the paladin of the group managed to get there they were ready to hang him. Luckily the paladin rolled as good and the half elf was bad. Both characters role-played extremely well and it was one of the best sessions of the game.
The party I DM has a fascinating propensity for fumbles and failed skill checks, a talent they have demonstrated to great effect in Shattered Star. The barbarian fell from the roof of the disused warehouse in the earlier part of the adventure after rolling a 1 on her climb check whilst swinging her greatsword, and subsequently also rolled a 1 climbing up a stationary ladder, and fell fifty feet into the sea. This continued once they got into the adventure proper.
During the later fight with the donkey rats and tower girls the party ranger first shot an arrow into the party bard, and followed this up by criting himself in the eye with his own arrow (critical fumble followed by critical hit on himself). Perhaps it was a mercy that the party mage subsequently fumbled a stealth check whilst scouting the derro enclave, resulting in the deaths of both the ranger and himself.
Last Friday night’s game was another typical session. The (expanded) group have penetrated the Lady’s Light, and were advancing along the corridor towards the large room holding the dhampir. Having taken him unawares (he was busy being morose), the gunslinger decided to boot open the door and fling himself into the room so he could get a shot off. ‘Are you doing that?’ I asked. ‘Yep, I take a run, boot the door and leap through.’ ‘Ok, well the door is securely locked, so your net achievement is a loud clang, a sore foot and a bruised and bloodied face, and the guy has got to his feet, drawn his sword and is walking over to the door.’
At this point the party rogue – a dwarf – whipped out his picklocks and set to with the lock. And rolled a 1. ‘Ok, the tools are jammed in the lock, you’ll need to clear them before you can try again.’ Next action, rolls to clear the lock – gets another 1. ‘Ok, your tools are now broken off in the lock, it’s comprehensively jammed and you’ve destroyed your picklocks.’ Finally, the frustrated gunslinger, taking a break from hopping round on one foot, shoves the dwarf out of the way and says ‘I shoot out the lock’. And, of course, rolls a 1. Lock hopelessly mangled, door irretrievably locked, dhampir smirking, and has time to cast all his defensive and buff spells whilst this carnival is enacted on the other side of the door.
We spend a lot of time laughing in disbelief at our dice rolls.
Spoilers for Shattered Star:
My Archaeologist Bard is in the thick of it in the room with a couple imps, a couple lemures, and that freaky Baby demon thing. I roll a natural 1 on an attack with my silver short sword. Our GM uses a crit fail deck, which has been particularly unkind in the past to our paladin (Flung his pike across the room while fighting giant ants, later broke it fighting some sin spawn things). I bent my sword like a boomerang, still usable and not broken, but -4 to all attacks. I used that sword for another 5 or so rounds, and managing to hit with it thanks to Archaeologist's Luck, before I finally crit failed again and threw the sword across the room.
A natural one on perception usually results in our GM telling us the general state of cleanliness the rooms is in.
I had a player climbing down a rope, DC 5 climb check.... which he failed because he didn't bother to take off his gear as he only had to roll over a 3 with his penalties.
He ended up falling 50 feet, landing prone damaged at the bottom, entering the area sets off a trap summoning a pair of elder water elementals into the room.
This was the party's support Bard with most of the team's loot.
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This happened just yesterday. My level 3 inquisitor of Cayden rolled two Knowledge(Religion) checks when discussing deities sometimes worshipped in Irrisen (we're playing RoW). Because he has no Int mod, only one point in the skill, and the check wasn't about IDing monsters, he had a +4 on th e rolls. Queue my rolling two natural 3's on the d20. As a result, my inquisitor has no idea who Lamashtu or Zon'Kuthon are, other than that they sound bad-ass and the former is some kind of foxy lady deity.
As the scout, I made a perception roll. Seeing nothing, I entered the room.
From above, a darkmantle surprised me and fell upon my head. Losing initiative to the creature, it attacks me again, and I die.
It was a fail so spectacular that the GM didn't know how to react and let the players right through.
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In my first IK session we fought some unsavory bandits and we wanted to question one of them, so after combat I go to stabilize the only one that's just bleeding out. Roll my medicine check and get a pair of ones. Murder by malpractice... Now anytime I use medicine to fix anybody up I have to endure the ridicule of my party.
Shoot/Stab/explode 8 bandits in an encounter no one bats an eye, kill 1 bandit with bandages and suddenly everybody loses their mind.
I was running an offshoot from CotCT with an orc army backed by a red dragon descending on the Sklar Quah, and the party there to help defend.
The paladin had ONE job: To watch for the dragon and shoot it out of the sky. Over the bard's vehement objections (she thought she should get the spell because of her excellent perception), the group put their one precious True Seeing spell on the paladin. And he proceeded to fail every single perception check to see a friggin' red dragon in the sky in broad daylight! (I think I set it at something silly like a target of -20 modified by distance.) The dragon is invisible, so no one else can see it, and I'm thinking, "Ooh, this is going to be bad," when in the very last round before the dragon's in range to breathe, he sees it, Smites Evil, crits, and one-rounds the thing.
So then I have to figure out where the body falls. So I calculate speed, roll direction, find distance, and everyone groans. The dragon corpse lands directly on the paladin's square! So I gave him a Reflex save and he biffed that as well (apparently he used up all his good rolls killing it), so started spending the combat suffocating under a dragon corpse.
Needless to say, the bard Did Not Like, and used her figurine of wondrous power to summon her elephant, Stampy. After two rounds of utter fail trying to move the corpse, Stampy fumbled his Strength check and started trampling the paladin, who was still busy suffocating.
Unfortunately, that was the end of the hilarity. Watching a high-level druid and high-level wizard cut loose on a minion army isn't pretty. And Stampy apparently finally figured out that he was supposed to SAVE the paladin, not kill him, and crit his next STR check.
In Pathfinder Society my GM character is a cleric of Urgathoa who has no tongue and does not speak. He was 3rd level before I took him on his first adventure wherein he had to sing a song to room drunken revelers for his faction mission. Needless to say the table had a good laugh as I roleplayed a tongueless mute trying to sing a song.
In d20 Modern, we had to disarm a bomb. We called into HQ for help, and they said cut the red wire before cutting the blue wire. We got distracted and tried cut the blue wire first, rolled a Natural 1, and accidently cut the other wire! The red wire! So we saved the day through pure incompetence! :-D