Scarab Sage songwriting challenge?

[RealAlchemy]

Since we are losing the Scarab Sages, they need a proper send off. I was thinking someone should write a summary of the Osirian/Scarab Sage plotline to the tune of Walk Like an Egyptian :) Any takers?

[supervillan]

GM Hmm has kind of already done that, in our recent pbp run of Salvation of the Sages.

Hmm's filks are the best!

(I'll leave it to Hilary to share if she wishes, but if you've played the scenario already go right ahead and read the thread / sing along!)

[Hmm]

That was sweet to say, Supervillan! I'm hoping to see other Scarab Sage filks here too. I love seeing other people's songs!

★ --- ★ --- ★ --- ★

♫ All the old paintings on the tombs,
They do the sand dance,
That’s what the dragon knows
If they move too quick (oh whey oh)
Dark magic comes and goes

All the bazaar men by the Sphinx,
They got the money on a bet.
Gold crocodiles (oh whey oh)
They snap their teeth on your last regret.
Dark creatures coming that you must slay
Ay oh whey oh, ay oh whey oh
Sing like an Osirion.

And the blind VC takes her trays
She spins around and crosses the floor;
She got the moves (oh whey oh)
You drop your drink then she brings you more.

All the sages so sick of jewels
They need you to to understand
Dark whispers call (oh whey oh)
They're singing like an Osirian.

All the kids in the marketplace say:
Ay oh whey oh, ay oh whey oh
Sing like an Osirian

Slide your feet up the street
Bend your back
Shift your arm and then you pull it back.
Ay oh whey oh, ay oh whey oh
Life's hard you know
So strike a pose and get on track

So now you know, it’s time to live
Go out and defeat those divs
Go sing and dance (oh whey oh)
We’ll ask all you can give

Defeat the shade of Aryana
Too late to say you don’t wanna
One wrong move - you are hosed (oh whey oh)
Sing like an Osiron

Our jewels cursed from way back when
Time to get them clean again
Before the danger grows (oh whey oh)
Sing in time like an Osirian.

All the Sages in Merat say
Ay oh whey oh, ay oh whey oh
Sing like an Osirian
Sing like an Osirian ♫

Source: Walk like an Egyptian — The Bangles

[Hmm]

Oh, and a bonus track:

♫ Unbelievable sites
Archaeology revealing
Soaring, tumbling, freewheeling
As Diamond Sage flies by

A whole new world
Don't you dare close your eyes
A hundred thousand things to see
Like the monastery of Kuata’s Tar
We’ve come so far
Reasearching through history

A whole new world
Our jewel’s shadows to undo
And ritual solutions to pursue
We’ll chase them anywhere
There's no time to spare
For now we share
This whole new world with you

A whole new world
That's where we'll be
A thrilling chase
A wondrous place
For you and me ♫

[keerawa]

BRILLIANT!

[BigNorseWolf]

All the old paintings on the tombs
they tell a story (don't you know)
Of Princes scholars weal and woe

The ruby prince was in denial
donned a cursed ring on a bet
Son Crocodile (oh we know)
Goes by the name of young Khemet

Swami type with the Turban Bright Says
Ay oh we know, ay oh we know
Read this inscription

The curse doesn't go it stays
The prince Boots Amenopheous out the door
While on the move (oh we know)
He finds a group of ancient lore

The Scarab sages don't trust books
They like a gem that fits in hand
When your ticker rings (it will so)
All your knowledge then gets canned

this song has been found to contain forbidden knowledge by the state of California:

The Ancient Scholar Sage of Plague
Oh She knows, ay oh she knows
Read this inscription

Slipped her soul into the gems , brought her back
The plague's so bad (oh we know)
Paladins get heart attacks (oh...)

Freed the sages, pulled all the stops
Mind prisons made their bodies flop
They're held in trance (oh uh oh)
If You Ease their fears you break their block

When Torch got torched oh way back when
A monk is scared she'll fail again
What do Liches know? (oh we know)
The dragons trapped by a librarian

Now You get props in the coffee shops say

(Way-oh-way-oh, ooh-way-oh-way-oh)
Read this inscription
Read this inscription

[Hmm]

Oh, bravo!!!

:: Whistles ::

[Agraic]

"'ey! Y'r doin' songsh 'bou' Sages? Well, le' mi' sing y' the tale 'f the BES' ONE EVA'!!

Torch!
The Sage they call Torch!
He robbed from the rich and he gave to the poor.
Stood up to the Ten and he gave them what for.
Our love for him now, ain't hard to explain,
The hero of Shadow, the man they call Torch!

Now Torch saw the Agents' banks breakin'.
He saw the Agents' a'droppin'.
And he saw that Decemvirate takin'
Every sail and leavin' five copper.
So he said, "You can't do that to my people!"
"You can't crush them under your heel."

Torch stepped outta his bath,
And in five seconds flat,
Stole everything the Vaults had to steal.

He robbed from the rich and he gave to the poor.
Stood up to the Ten an' he gave him what for.
Our love for him now ain't hard to explain,
The Hero of Shadow, the Sage they call Torch.

Now here is what separates heroes
From common folk like you and I.
The man they call Torch,
He turned 'round his perch,
An' let that money hit sky.
He dropped it onto our havers.
He dropped it into our wards.
The man they call Torch
He turned round his perch,
And headed out for the sands.

Here we go!

He robbed from the rich and he gave to the poor.
Stood up to the Ten and he gave him what for.
Our love for him now ain't hard to explain,
The Hero of Shadow, the Sage they call Torch!

Player Note: It's not 'Walk like an Egyptian' more 'Hero of Canton', but once he gets goin' it's hard t' shut 'im down...

[Hmm]

Continuing on the Torch trend, and spoilered for spoilery things!

Written for my players in a fantasy mindscape:

Author’s note: Eadie, Ariana, Quenly and Fendel were some of my players. This started because Eadie used Wizard of Oz references to get Torch to snap out of his current doldrums, and because our game of Salvation of the Sages was a full blown musical by then.

Back in Torch’s mindscape, Eadie’s fantasy takes hold as an orchestra strikes up again!

EADIE
(spoken) Come with me. To the Absalom City.

HALF ORCS (bearing a bathtub)
Right this way
to the Absalom City

ARIANA (wearing Ruby Slippers)
Oh, I've always wanted to see the Absalom City

HALF ORCS
One short day
In the Absalom City
One short day
In the Absalom City
One short day
With rituals to do
Ev'ry way
That you look in the city
There's the Decemvirate
You'll want to shank them
Before the day's through

EADIE
There are sage jewels to seize

QUENLY (frantically scratching at the straw in his robes)
Ancient tombs

FENDEL (dancing past in a an emerald green scholar’s outfit)
And libraries

EADIE
Palaces!

QUENLY
Mausoleums!

TORCH (sings from his tub)
The pathfinder throng
Has needed Torch to right their wrongs

ARIANA (spoken)
Eadie - come on - we'll be late for Torchomania!

TORCHOMANIA CHORUS
Who's the Sage
Whose sagely
schemes dogs the Ten like a terrier
Who's the Sage
Who's sagely
sailed in to save our posteriors?
Who enthused for hot tub scheming
Makes Eadie dream of Torch redeeming
Woo - oo -oo
Bubbles and jewels galore
Who can ask for anything more?

PATHFINDERS AND HALF ORC CHORUS
One short day (Who's the sage)
In the Absalom City (whose sagely schemes)
One short day (dogs the ten like a terrier)
To have a lifetime (Who's the sage who)
Of fun Sagely (sailed in to save)
What a way (Our posteriors)
To be seeing the city

EADIE AND TORCH
With the Black Moon to slay - hey
We'll have a hey day
And then, just like now
We can say:
We're just two friends

EADIE
Two good friends

TORCH (Not quite committing)
Well that depends

ALL
Sharing one wonderful
One short

ERMIAS DALLIA
(spoken) The Black Moon will see you now!

ALL
Day!

[Hmm]

And another Torch grand entrance with a little Hamilton flair:

Grandmaster Torch descends down towards you upon a flying carpet. Even from the air, you can see that hideous burns cover his body, and his wounds and eyes occasionally shimmer with a green hue in the light. As he lands, he stands, singing his defiance to the world.

♫ So my past was a little fraught
But I am not throwing away my shot
Hey, yo, I’m a product of the Ten
The bastards who chewed me up, spat me out and then
I gave ‘em as good as they got!

Graduated from Hard Luck’s own college.
I prob'ly shouldn't brag, but dag, I amaze and astonish.
The problem is I got a lot of brains but no polish.
I gotta holler just to be heard.
With every word, I drop knowledge!
I'm an Emerald freaking sage, broke and made whole
tryin' to reach my goal.
My power of speech: unimpeachable.
Only middle aged but my mind is older.
The Decemvirate’s glares get colder, I shoulder
ev'ry burden, ev'ry disadvantage
I have learned to manage, got half orc guards to brandish
Seekin’ secrets like one famished!

The plan is to fan my spark into a flame.
But damn, it's getting dark, so let me spell out the name
I am the—
The one and only G-M-T — meant to be
The broker that runs independently.
Meanwhile, the Ten keeps spittin' on us
endlessly.
Essentially, they vex me relentlessly
But this mission’s about more than just ME
We gotta set the all the Sage Jewels free
So there will be a revolution in this century.
Enter me! ♫

The half orc chorus, popping up from nowhere, sing: ♫ (He says in parentheses) ♫

Then Torch gives them another cocky grin.

♫ Don't be shocked when your hist'ry book
mentions me.
I will lay down my life if it sets us free.
Eventually, you'll see my ascendancy
And I am not throwing away my shot.
My shot!
I am not throwing away my shot.
My shot! ♫

[Teearseeaich]

evillaugh.exe: Not Found, Resource Unavailable

[Woran]

*applause*