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...If you're being truly unreasonable by quitting, MAYBE... but even then not usually, unless your play group is really immature. Roleplaying is playing, its right there in the word. Playing is something you do for fun. If a player is being so frustrated, agitated, or outright pissed off by the way game is being run by the DM, that they are no longer capable of enjoying themselves then they honestly should quit. Sure, if its possible to talk things out and amend things so everyone can have fun, do that... but in practice that isn't always possible.Something being a game is not an excuse for poor sportsmanship and piss-poor behavior. If I'm playing Monopoly and I don't like the strategy someone uses to beat me I don't say "I'm not having fun now" flip the table and walk out. Players in the NFL play a game as well. If they "aren't having fun" losing and are frustrated with someone holding them or the reffing they don't have a b#@#@-fit and storm out of the game. Players that do things like this get booed for a reason. Yes, it's their job but they already have enough money to do just fine and players at the end of their career don't do this either even though they could. Why? Because it's childish.
If other players are going to burn bridges with you for that, then... well... those bridges need to be burnt, because that makes them pretty immature people. Seriously, if your buddies are telling you they don't want to hang/play with you anymore because you didn't stick around and suffer through one of them being an absolute jerk to you... FIND NEW FRIENDS or rather simply FIND FRIENDS, because that last group of folks does not actually even qualify.Trying to put the blame on them for this behavior is beyond absurd. How are they immature? You walked out like a child..and they finished the game. Why would I want to be friends with someone that acts like a little kid and throws tantrums? This is epic douchebag behavior to say you need new friends to
I think there is a divide between people who have had a table flipper and those who have not. one side will never understand the other.
Ayup -- at least so long as one side can't see beyond the table-flipper in their memory, and the other side can't get over the douche DM in their memory.
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Something being a game is not an excuse for poor sportsmanship and piss-poor behavior. If I'm playing Monopoly and I don't like the strategy someone uses to beat me I don't say "I'm not having fun now" flip the table and walk out. Players in the NFL play a game as well. If they "aren't having fun" losing and are frustrated with someone holding them or the reffing they don't have a b&%$#-fit and storm out of the game. Players that do things like this get booed for a reason. Yes, it's their job but they already have enough money to do just fine and players at the end of their career don't do this either even though they could. Why? Because it's childish.
It's one thing to say "I'm not having fun now" in Monopoly because someone is using a a clever strategy. It'd be another thing to do that because someone keeps changing the rules on you.
You talk about sportsmanship as if it only rested on one person in the equation. I wouldn't have any problem in walking away from a game where the other side wasn't being a good sport (i.e. modifying rules that have already been agreed on, being abusive, etc.).
Luckily, I play with some really wonderful people, so I've never had to even consider walking away from the table. But if folks are being mean, or changing the rules of the game mid-stream, I really don't feel like I should have to live up to my end of the "social contract" if the second party was failing to hold up their end, and there seemed to be nothing I could do to rectify that.
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But you are forgetting that it's not just you and the DM. There are also the other players who might be simply trying to have a good time.
One on one, bail if you like.
But don't leave the rest of your party in a lurch. The OP said "mid combat." You don't leave mid-combat. It's not fair to the other players.
I'm not forgetting that. As I said, if people are being mean to me, or keep changing the rules so that I might as well not be there, I'm not going to stick around. I see no reason to stick around, mid-combat or not, in a hostile environment.
Sometimes you simply need to take the hit for the team.
If it's a team I respect and who would do the same for me, you betcha! In the case I've outlined? Nope!
But again, COMMUNICATION. I never game with strangers, because I don't know enough about how they'll be in a game setting. Once I know the person and think "Hey, he/she is a good guy/gal and it's be fun to play with him/her" then it's game on.
I'd game with strangers; because that's how you make new friends.
However, if I found out those strangers were jerkfaces, I would no longer play with them, and I would not consider them friends. I might even walk out on them in mid-combat, if that's when the realization hit! :P
Life's too short to put up with people being mean, especially if it's during a time when I'm trying to have fun.
Kmalt, I find most of that lacking understanding and sympathy for people. It also is extremely ignorant and that's now how it is 100% of the time.
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Nothing is gained from walking off. You just don't lose more time being at a table being frustrated. If you actually try to calmly discuss the issue you might find a solution that everyone can come to. If the DM is willing to do the same and converse with you like an adult then I see no reason to leave.
That's super! And I agree, if the DM is willing to discuss things, then fantastic!
If not, I've got tons of stuff I can do rather than sit around with someone who's being a meanie-head. If I walk off, I can do those things instead! Yay!
For all these stories of why the DM was such a dick and unfair blah blah, why were you the only one to get up and walk away? Why did no one come to your defense against the DM? Without more to go on there's no way of knowing if in some of the stories everyone else was the dick or YOU are the dick and don't realize it.
I wouldn't be too surprised if in some of the stories this is the case. However, I don't have any real reason to doubt anyone's story here.
And even if I did, I don't feel like I need to berate them for being a Richard. I wouldn't even really berate their mean DMs, if that were the case. If it's a bad sitch, you can just leave! Tah-dah!
I've seen plenty of situations where someone has kinda been the "odd one out". People have been mean to other people in groups for as long as there's been people in groups. It's not impossible that the DM was being a jerkface, but nobody else had the courage/interest to stand up for the other person. I can't speak to the experience of anyone else, but if I had that happen to me, I really don't see the percentage in sticking around in a situation like that.
That's why I'm so glad I play with the people I play with ! :)
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As a GM who's never had a falling out of this type I was actually enjoying the stories in this thread until someone threw a hissy fit on it.
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Well said, Ataraxias. I think it would be nice to get a few different GM perspective on this phenomena.
I'd actually not be offended at all if a player walked out on one of my sessions. I would take it as an indication that the game did not match their tastes. Judgements towards my own character or the character of the players come secondary. (I don't mean in-game character, I mean character in the sense "personality") Truly, I think communication as others have said does wonders to solve these problems. I really want my players to know what kind of world they will be playing in, as well as the overall tone I'm going for.
I certainly am not strong-arming any players to stay and play my game against their will. Likewise, a player who isn't having fun is somebody I don't want at my table (no jugdement towards their reasoning). For both our sakes, mine and the player, I would let them go everytime than adjust combat accordingly to accommodate the now-shrunken group.
See, as a DM, I control everything in universe, but I have no gripes if real life is beyond my control once and awhile.
Truly, I think communication as others have said does wonders to solve these problems. I really want my players to know what kind of world they will be playing in, as well as the overall tone I'm going for.
I've been with plenty of DMs who don't communicate what the game will be like, and refuse to communicate. Its pretty awful when that happens.
kmal2t, you seem very keen to tell us all what to do. It's like you've settled on an arbitrary rule and any time somebody points out a flaw in it, you claim the circumstances somehow exceptional. There's always a reason, at least from the walker's point of view.
Walking out of a game is only ever as big a deal as the game itself. Behaving badly while you walk out is the same as behaving badly any other time, but if what happens in the game is nothing to get upset over, why should finishing early be any different?
Anyway, the fact is, what happens in a game IS a big issue. Our 4th level wizards or whatever may not be real, but if somebody else at the table wastes your time, ignores your feelings or makes a petty power grab, that's very real indeed.
To walk out over stuff that happens in a roleplaying game is to say in a clear and final way "Your behaviour has become intolerable."
It's important that people can do that.
Anyway, there are some very amusing stories in here. Some of the mare kinda scary, but yeah. People are weeeiiird.
I had to leave a game once because of an emergency phone call. They all thought it was a set up for me to leave if I didn't like the game and never asked me back. I actually wasn't enjoy the game at all, but it really was an emergency.
I've never had anyone walk out on me, but had a few who stopped showing up without so much as a "Thanks, but this ain't for me" email for phone call. Granted, a couple of them were not really missed for different reasons, but sometimes it happens and you want to know why.
RPG Superstar Season 9 Top 16, RPG Superstar 2015 Top 32
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I almost left in the middle of a combat because of a special phone call from my wife who needed me to come home as soon as I could. I ended up staying. The combat was too good.
And yes, it was one of those phone calls.
I've never had anyone walk out on me, but had a few who stopped showing up without so much as a "Thanks, but this ain't for me" email for phone call. Granted, a couple of them were not really missed for different reasons, but sometimes it happens and you want to know why.
Yup, I've had a few of those. Very irritating, if for no other reason than "Really, you couldn't be bothered to give even one of us a heads-up?"
Look at that silly MTV Show "Disaster Date". The person thinks they are on a normal date that went horribly wrong and they don't know they're being filmed and the whole thing is a set up. They probably know within the first 2 minutes they will NEVER go on a date with this person again...however because they aren't rude and they try to endure the rest of the dinner/lunch and then would probably try to find an exit. You never see people one minute in say "I'm not having fun" and walk out. That's so rude. It's only when the date really spirals out of control that they can't take anymore and have to bail.
1. For many people, it's not some sense of obligation that keeps them at the table. It's the thought of the other person causing an uncomfortable scene, should the unwitting datee leave early. Many people just don't want to be the center of attention of a room full of people, for any remotely awkward reason. It's only when the actual date becomes more uncomfortable than anything the unwitting datee can think of that he/she walks out. It's a social math formula, really: Walk-Out = Actual Discomfort > Potential Discomfort.
2. They don't air the ones where the unwitting datees do get up and walk out two minutes in, because that would be boring tv.
3. Wait, this is mtv we're talking about. It'd be godawful watching-paint-dry wish-for-the-sweet-release-of-death tv to see people simply say "I'm sorry, I've got to go" ten times in twenty minutes. How is mtv still on the air?
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And what's more uncomfortable, sitting at a table with someone in an awkward limbo where the date is going badly, or leaving and everyone just seeing a person get up and leave and likely not even knowing that you just did that? Maybe one or two tables next to you might, the rest wouldn't. It's not done because it would be bad manners.
I'm not sure exactly what you're referencing, never having seen the show or whatever, but it sounds dreadful.
I don't know what qualifies as a "bad date" on the show. Again, it feels a little like you're either a) not acknowledging that there are actually levels of bad behavior that shouldn't be endured, even for politeness' sake, or that b) you're not listening to what people are saying.
Yes, I get that if a person is just being awkward, or not a good conversationalist, it's probably more polite just to endure it, and not date them again when you're out of there.
YES, I get that if it's just a question of the DM interpreting the CMD on moving through a threatened square differently than me it's not something that's worth getting up and leaving the table over.
However!
I also posit that if a date is rude, or sexist, or racist or just plain creepy, I don't really care if anyone else feels it's rude for me to get up and walk out on him.
I also posit that if a DM is being unusually antagonistic or unrelentingly churlish towards me, or rearranging rules consistently to render the majority of my actions useless, and ESPECIALLY if the other players see this and don't question the DM, I feel no obligation to stay at that table. Let other people think I'm a stinky poo-head. At that point their opinion of me is one of the very last things on my mind.
You cannot convince me that I should feel bad for leaving a toxic environment. You just can't. :)
And I'm saying what I think is rude behavior. Something being from "someones point of view" doesn't necessarily excuse the behavior. Ted Bundy probably thought he had a number of reasons to kill people from his point of view..doesn't mean I condone it. And NO I'm not comparing walking out to murdering people. Read comprehensively you hypothetical replier. Again the fact that it's a game doesn't mean it doesn't follow the normal rules of etiquette. A date is also just a date, but walking out of it probably would not make the other person feel very good.
If you're not comparing Ted Bundy killing people to someone walking out on a date... why make the comparison? I don't... my comprehension must be lacking.
Meh. I guess I should just take my own advice. I've pretty much made my thoughts on the matter as clear as I can, I think.
Now I can walk away and do something fun!
Look at that silly MTV Show "Disaster Date". The person thinks they are on a normal date that went horribly wrong and they don't know they're being filmed and the whole thing is a set up. They probably know within the first 2 minutes they will NEVER go on a date with this person again...however because they aren't rude and they try to endure the rest of the dinner/lunch and then would probably try to find an exit. You never see people one minute in say "I'm not having fun" and walk out. That's so rude. It's only when the date really spirals out of control that they can't take anymore and have to bail.
Rude is relative.
If you're going out on a date with someone the implication is that you want SOME sort of relationship with them. If you find them to be obnoxious or unbearable to be around, why continue the date? At the end of the day, the result is the same. You go your separate ways and forget the other ever existed. You're just cutting out a lot of wasted time in the middle.
This ESPECIALLY doesn't apply as an analogy to a gaming group. You're there for the sole purpose of having fun. If you're not having fun, there are better things you could be doing with your time than wasting it with a person or persons you don't want to be around or play with any more.
Perhaps this is too much of a pragmatic worldview for some people but it's worked for me so far. If it's my choice to be there it's also my choice to skedaddle when I want as well.
I walked out in Curse of The Crimson Throne. Encountered an enemy that had an ability that dazed me for THREE DAYS. And no, we did not have anyone who could remove that.
I basically said "Call me when my character recovers, or I die."
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And what's more uncomfortable, sitting at a table with someone in an awkward limbo where the date is going badly, or leaving and everyone just seeing a person get up and leave and likely not even knowing that you just did that? Maybe one or two tables next to you might, the rest wouldn't. It's not done because it would be bad manners.
Sitting at a table with someone in an awkward limbo. If i am having a bad time, i could care less about someone else's feelings, especially if that is the first time i have met them. Why should i endure someone being obnoxious and unpleasant? Good manners? My manners are selective, i use them only when i care enough to use them.
Now, obviously, if the date is awkward because we discovered that we don't have any chemistry, i'll sit it out, share the bill and say good bye. No need to be rude if the other side is nice.It applies to GMs also. If a GM is just being awkward or has made a ruling or two i disagree with, i'll endure it and talk about it alter. If the GM has been an ass since the beginning of the session (or before even) and does something that pisses me off, i'll walk away without a second thought. I have better ways of wasting my time. Ways that are actually fun.
How many he said she said what if tales must we sit through?
Leaving abruptly is rude in all cases.
Most of the time we as nice people excuse that rudeness if they had a good reason. BUT not everyone might think it was a good reason, in that case there might be some hard feelings. Communication IS key. If you communicate your reasons for leaving well then you are more likely to be excused for it. Just because you don't ever intend to see these people again is NO excuse for behaving badly yourself... even if you are truly the one wronged. Who knows impressing someone you don't know with your ability to react well under duress might lead to other opportunities. In any case behaving well always is the right thing to do. I am not saying I always live up to that ideal myself, but I make the effort.
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How many he said she said what if tales must we sit through?
Leaving abruptly is rude in all cases.
Most of the time we as nice people excuse that rudeness if they had a good reason. BUT not everyone might think it was a good reason, in that case there might be some hard feelings. Communication IS key. If you communicate your reasons for leaving well then you are more likely to be excused for it. Just because you don't ever intend to see these people again is NO excuse for behaving badly yourself... even if you are truly the one wronged. Who knows impressing someone you don't know with your ability to react well under duress might lead to other opportunities. In any case behaving well always is the right thing to do. I am not saying I always live up to that ideal myself, but I make the effort.
Again, even though i see the wisdom in your words, i couldn't care less about feelings of people who ruined my day by either being asses or too timid to stand up to GM bullying.
I appreciate honesty first and foremost. If someone is having a bad time, i want them to tell me. If i am picking on someone without realizing i want them to tell me. If i overdo it, i want that someone to get up and leave, to show me that they will not take it for politeness sake.
How many he said she said what if tales must we sit through?
Leaving abruptly is rude in all cases.
Most of the time we as nice people excuse that rudeness if they had a good reason. BUT not everyone might think it was a good reason, in that case there might be some hard feelings. Communication IS key. If you communicate your reasons for leaving well then you are more likely to be excused for it. Just because you don't ever intend to see these people again is NO excuse for behaving badly yourself... even if you are truly the one wronged. Who knows impressing someone you don't know with your ability to react well under duress might lead to other opportunities. In any case behaving well always is the right thing to do. I am not saying I always live up to that ideal myself, but I make the effort.
Again, even though i see the wisdom in your words, i couldn't care less about feelings of people who ruined my day by either being asses or too timid to stand up to GM bullying.
I appreciate honesty first and foremost. If someone is having a bad time, i want them to tell me. If i am picking on someone without realizing i want them to tell me. If i overdo it, i want that someone to get up and leave, to show me that they will not take it for politeness sake.
Wouldn't you rather they simply told you you were being mean? That is what I would do. That invites further dialog. Leaving abruptly says you don't even want to talk about it any more. Kinda the opposite of communication.
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True, but if i piss somebody off beyond words, i better leave them alone. They can tell me i was being mean later, if they care to.
Same goes for me. If somebody pisses me off so much that i want to crush their head with my teeth, i am going to leave, because i hate fighting.
Offtopic: Is that Ameiko on your avatar?
And what's more uncomfortable, sitting at a table with someone in an awkward limbo where the date is going badly, or leaving and everyone just seeing a person get up and leave and likely not even knowing that you just did that?
The unwitting datee isn't imagining a quick and quiet exit; he/she is imagining "WHAT YOU'RE LEAVING NOW? WHAT A WITCH!!!" or "OH DON'T LEAVE ME LIKE MY FIANCE DID, WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME WHY WON'T ANYONE LOVE ME?!" followed by everyone in the room turning to see the actor and the unwitting datee.
You know that won't happen because you've seen the show, but the unwitting datee doesn't know what will happen if she leaves early. Much like a player wanting to leave a game early doesn't know what's going to happen if he does.
I agree that there are probably some generalization here, and that there isn't really a one-size fits all answer.
On the one hand, for example, as kmal2t has put it, if you're the one walking away from the table... why has no one come to your defense? That's a valid question.
all too true. It's important to note that sometimes, you're THAT GUY, especially when you are new to the group, which is well established and has a defined play style.
all too true. It's important to note that sometimes, you're THAT GUY, especially when you are new to the group, which is well established and has a defined play style.I agree that there are probably some generalization here, and that there isn't really a one-size fits all answer.
On the one hand, for example, as kmal2t has put it, if you're the one walking away from the table... why has no one come to your defense? That's a valid question.
But in such a case, regardless of whether it is your fault or theirs, do you really belong there to begin with?
Offtopic: Is that Ameiko on your avatar?
Yes it is Ameiko herself.
I couldn't let her go unclaimed as an avatar so now she is my avatar.| 1 person marked this as a favorite. |
And what's more uncomfortable, sitting at a table with someone in an awkward limbo where the date is going badly, or leaving and everyone just seeing a person get up and leave and likely not even knowing that you just did that?The unwitting datee isn't imagining a quick and quiet exit; he/she is imagining "WHAT YOU'RE LEAVING NOW? WHAT A WITCH!!!" or "OH DON'T LEAVE ME LIKE MY FIANCE DID, WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME WHY WON'T ANYONE LOVE ME?!" followed by everyone in the room turning to see the actor and the unwitting datee.
You know that won't happen because you've seen the show, but the unwitting datee doesn't know what will happen if she leaves early. Much like a player wanting to leave a game early doesn't know what's going to happen if he does.
Ok, if someone really wants to just get up and leave it means they really don't care about the other person's feelings. If they care so little for that person's feelings why would they care if everyone else sees them walk out on a date?
They don't do it because they'd feel horrible if they thought the person would get upset and/or don't want to feel the public shame from everyone else because they know what they're doing is socially unacceptable.
I touched upon this in an earlier comment but I'll say it again:
I contest the idea that getting up from a gaming table and getting up from a date are the same.
Dates are:
1. Involve two people only (so, by leaving, all of the negative feeling is directed at one person, who then has to cope with this alone)
2. Are more personal (you don't get up and leave because this type of date isn't for you, but because you don't like the other person on some personal level).
3. Generally have a greater importance than playing a game does (being successful in romance is directly tied to most people's concept of being a successful human being, while the fun of an individual game session is not typically).
Ok, if someone really wants to just get up and leave it means they really don't care about the other person's feelings. If they care so little for that person's feelings why would they care if everyone else sees them walk out on a date?
As I already mentioned, many people don't like being the center of attention, even if they might otherwise have the courage to walk out of an uncomfortable situation.
They don't do it because they'd feel horrible if they thought the person would get upset and/or don't want to feel the public shame from everyone else because they know what they're doing is socially unacceptable.
You're projecting your own value judgments onto others, who you don't know and have no idea what they are thinking. Some of them surely do share your rigid views on social etiquette, but as you get older you'll realize that many have different standards.
Me, for example. I'm now walking out of this thread, but it's not because I don't care about you or anyone else here. I just have a long week ahead of me!
Ok, Fine. Lets make it a double date if you want something a little more analogous.
That doesn't do much. You are still "on a datE" with one person and the emotions and importance associated with it are still no closer than to how most people feel about playing a game.
What? How did I get back in here? :P
How many he said she said what if tales must we sit through?
None. You can leave abruptly any time you like! :P (In the interest of clarity, this is me being very silly!)
Leaving abruptly is rude in all cases.
I can't really buy this. You can't imagine a single case where it wouldn't be rude to just walk away? Sweeping generalizations aside, even kmal2t has stated that in the case of the DM... erm, humping the table, *shudder*, he wouldn't begrudge a person for walking out.
Most of the time we as nice people excuse that rudeness if they had a good reason. BUT not everyone might think it was a good reason, in that case there might be some hard feelings. Communication IS key. If you communicate your reasons for leaving well then you are more likely to be excused for it. Just because you don't ever intend to see these people again is NO excuse for behaving badly yourself... even if you are truly the one wronged. Who knows impressing someone you don't know with your ability to react well under duress might lead to other opportunities. In any case behaving well always is the right thing to do. I am not saying I always live up to that ideal myself, but I make the effort.
That's admirable, but I honestly don't think it's rude to leave a situation where somebody is being mean to me. And not that I'm a mind reader, but I figure at this point in my life, I have a pretty good idea of when it would be fruitless to engage in communication with someone. And I kinda know when I wouldn't want to even bother to engage in communication with someone.
And I honestly believe that there are times when it is equally graceful, if not even moreso, to simply quietly walk away from a bad situation than to engage.
It might not impress you as someone "reacting well" under duress, but I, for one, would be impressed.
So even if it's just a sampling of one, that alone proves that what one person considers rude might not be true for all people.
Ok, if someone really wants to just get up and leave it means they really don't care about the other person's feelings. If they care so little for that person's feelings why would they care if everyone else sees them walk out on a date?
You shouldn't confuse not caring about someone's feelings with not caring about someone's opinion.
I would hope not to make anyone feel bad, but that doesn't mean I'm going to be their punching bag, even verbally.
In some situations, I'll stick around and try to make things better, sure. But, in some situations I'm leaving, maybe even without saying something, maybe even mid-combat.
You shouldn't confuse not caring about someone's feelings with not caring about someone's opinion.
Please explain this.
I'll try. :)
First of all, just to make a point clear; if I'm leaving a situation that I find disagreeable, it does not necessarily mean I don't have any concern for someone's feelings. I, personally, am loathe to make anyone feel bad.
This loathing, however, does not extinguish my sense of self worth, and doesn't mean that I am going to just stand around and let someone be mean to me. It also doesn't mean that I will let someone waste my time, just to spare their feelings. There is a hierarchy of desires; my desire to be kind, my desire to be polite, my desire to do something constructive or worthwile, and my desire to be treated with dignity.
All of these have varying importance in relation with the person I'm interacting with, and who is interacting with me. Different outcomes transpire according to different situations involving those needs.
So, to say that if I leave it means I don't care about someone's feelings isn't exactly true, right out of the gate. So, I guess I find your premise faulty. :P
But, more to the point, you stated:
"Ok, if someone really wants to just get up and leave it means they really don't care about the other person's feelings. If they care so little for that person's feelings why would they care if everyone else sees them walk out on a date?"
The person being left is the one whose feelings are at stake. That is one relationship, and one factor in whether or not the person leaving actually does.
The observers, in most cases, have no emotional investment in the person being left, and the person leaving. Their emotional well being is generally not a factor in the decision to leave. However, the social pressure of their opinions might be.
Therefore, it seemed you were conflating one's thoughts of caring about feelings, in the case of the person being left, and caring about opinions, in the case of those observing the leaving.
I am usually very concerned about the feelings of others, even strangers. I am rarely concerned about the opinions of others, excepting the case of my loved ones who I respect.
Hopefully that helps?
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Reading through the posts on this subject is a continual source of "OMG" moments for me in how people seem to interpret what is, and is not, socially appropriate behavior.
Perhaps it is best that I find myself gaming with people who seem to share my ideas of how to behave in public, with friends, after making commitments about what I would be willing to do.
I am amazed by how many people think "I'm not having fun" is a perfectly acceptable excuse for being a boor.
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Not what the OP asked, but I did have one memorable moment of table flippage when I was a DM.
We were playing at a player's home. Let's call him John. John was the only gainfully employed tenant of a five bedroom apartment. He was the only one even remotely in good shape. His six to eight co-tenants being grossly overweight. He was the only that cleaned as well, so our gaming table was decent, but four of the bedrooms and two of the bathrooms were indescribable. John was and is a very quiet guy.
John was a line cook and his pride and joy was his grandmother's cast iron skillet. He could make marvels with it. He never cleaned it with soap and water. He just used salt and a stiff brush that he reserved only for that purpose.
We tried to avoid playing at John's house because it obviously stressed him out due to his room mate situation. This one time we had no choice and were huddled around the table. The players were confronting the lich and not doing well.
The most human of John's room mates passed by and remarked "John, I used your fry pan while you were at work. Don't worry, I cleaned it up" and waddled off. John looked over at the sink, saw his skillet soaking in a pool of soapy water, flipped the table and ran after his room mate, screaming.
The rest of us gathered up our stuff and quietly exited. The next day four of us helped John move and we resumed play, with John, the next week elsewhere. The party did defeat the lich.
That's the only table flip I've ever seen.
One case where it is not rude to leave mid-combat: The D&D 4E Lair Assault, if your character is an early casualty and you did not car pool to the game with anyone. This is your second attempt, and you got much further the first time through. The other players can pass along anything new that they learn this time through, so why stick around at that point?
Another case: You have a night job, so the game is actually being held BEFORE you are supposed to go to work. You told the DM in advance that you had to leave at a certain time. A combat goes longer than expected, so it is still going on at the time you have to leave.
That has happened a few times with my gaming group. Not only did we have no problem with it, some of us were reminding the guy with the deadline that it was approaching. The DM dropped him and a couple of foes from the combat and the rest of us continued.
And we have done the reverse, when we knew a player would be very late and thus started without him. We were in the middle of a long combat that we knew would take the rest of the evening, so we had him roll initiative and show up at the edge of the battle map from the direction that the party came. I am pretty sure that the DM had a monster or two join the other side at that point.
But if you are leaving because of a problem with the DM, there are two questions to ask yourself:
1) Can this problem be fixed? If so, stick around. If not --
2) Do you have any connection with this group other than the game? If so, work out a way to exit gracefully. If not, leave at once (assuming that you did not car pool to the game with anybody).
Depending on your reading of the group, leaving mid-combat might work if you have connections with some of the players but not the DM. If the DM is a total jerk and the players are sticking around because they have not gotten to the point of deciding that it would be better to have no game than this game, a rude departure might be the catalyst that blows up his game. Only twice in 30+ years of playing have I run across a DM so toxic that this tactic would be appropriate.
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Not what the OP asked, but I did have one memorable moment of table flippage when I was a DM.
We were playing at a player's home. Let's call him John. John was the only gainfully employed tenant of a five bedroom apartment. He was the only one even remotely in good shape. His six to eight co-tenants being grossly overweight. He was the only that cleaned as well, so our gaming table was decent, but four of the bedrooms and two of the bathrooms were indescribable. John was and is a very quiet guy.
John was a line cook and his pride and joy was his grandmother's cast iron skillet. He could make marvels with it. He never cleaned it with soap and water. He just used salt and a stiff brush that he reserved only for that purpose.
We tried to avoid playing at John's house because it obviously stressed him out due to his room mate situation. This one time we had no choice and were huddled around the table. The players were confronting the lich and not doing well.
The most human of John's room mates passed by and remarked "John, I used your fry pan while you were at work. Don't worry, I cleaned it up" and waddled off. John looked over at the sink, saw his skillet soaking in a pool of soapy water, flipped the table and ran after his room mate, screaming.
The rest of us gathered up our stuff and quietly exited. The next day four of us helped John move and we resumed play, with John, the next week elsewhere. The party did defeat the lich.
That's the only table flip I've ever seen.
And that is why i will never EVER, live with a roommate without previous screening, and why i made a contract with every roommate i lived with. A contract that specifically states that if their room and any facilities they use are not the way they were when they moved in/started using them, I am liable to throw them out without notice. It helped, i just had to throw one guy out because he was a disgusting pig.
Gross: