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The shameless, swearing tongues of Varisians

Lost Omens Campaign Setting General Discussion

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RPG Superstar 2013 Top 32

My current campaign has several Varisian NPCs in it. I figured they'd be rather creative when it came to convoluted, over-the-top oaths and curses, perhaps a little like Captain Haddock from Tintin.

Trouble is, I'm struggling to do them justice when the opportunity presents itself.

I wonder if I could trouble of imaginations of our Forumites for some imaginative swearing? Obviously let's keep it humourous without stumbling into poor taste.

Well, there's this thread.

I see Varisians as being fond of intricate insults, but aren't loathe to drop a truly filthy curse when the situation calls for it.

My go-to favorite in-game is

Bleeped, but still pretty foul:
"Callistra's c*#%!"

...which I find appropriate because it's short, alliterative, profane, and remarks upon a particular attirbute of this goddess that she's kind of known for.
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I always enjoyed derogatory labels and names of erstwhile germane or typically glossed-over things. And other bits of slang that add a bit of color even when they aren't outright curses or negative terms.

Such as (all props and original credit due to Messers, Steve Darlington, Magnus Seter, Rob Swallow and Dan White; downloaded HERE and partially regurgitated, somewhat bastardized and generally mangled below by me):

  • Badger Poker - Term for a woodsman
  • Bearded Elf - A ridiculous person or thing
  • Booter - A member of [the attractive gender to the speaker] of easily negotiated morals
  • Chopping Wood - "Loving" thyself
  • Clank Farmer - A beggar
  • Cliff of Sighs - Rhyming slang for lies. "Tha's a cliff of a cliff if every I heard one."
  • Corpse Dodger - A fighting cleric, or paladin of Iomedea
  • Ustalav Vintage, The - Blood
  • Get Fitted for a Shoe - Describing one's intention to visit to a brothel
  • Erastil's Inn - Sleeping in stables, barns, pens or other rustic arrangements intended for and frequented by animals.
  • Deep in the Fangwood with a Turd for a Sword - In dire straits
  • Dinning Under - When forced to survive on thrown out scraps or leavings like a feast hall dog.
  • A Wagonman's Deal - Getting grifted/conned/ripped off, referring to Varisian stereotypes.
  • Safe as Abadar's Vault - General overstatement of security...I'd inspect the truth of it if I were you
  • Beard Biters - Derogatory name for dwarves, due to their bushy beards that must get in the way of eating.
  • Candle Heads - Derogatory name for dwarves, due to their underground lifestyle
  • Docker's Hook - Rhyming slang for Look. "I'll just have a quick dockers and make sure the coast is clear."
  • Enjoys Chellish Cooking - Prefers the "company" of halflings (for non halflings)
  • Drunk as a Map Maker - Very drunk, Referencing the fact that most maps are grossly inaccurate.
  • Taldan Spots - Syphilis
  • Ear Stroker - A non elf that seems to adore elves in all they do.
  • Face Like Razmir - Either two-faced or unreadable (due to his telltale mask). Very dangerous to say in Razmirran.
  • Flogging a Zombie - Equivalent to beating a dead horse. A pointless argument or task.
  • Goldlickers - Clergy of Abadar, and merchants in general
  • Goat Botherer - Derogatory term for a peasant or other rustic
  • Jailer's Jibe - Rhyming slang for Bribe. "Go on, give 'im a jailers and let's be on our way."
  • Ulfen Tart - Rhyming slang for Fart. "Ye gods, who dropped an ulfen in here?" Not wise to say in front of an actual Ulfen...
  • Like Glitter on a Gnome - Overdoing one's makeup or flair to a ridiculous degree.
  • Longer than Caileen's Pub Tab - An impossibly long noun.
  • A Goblin's Chance in a Library - Not bloody likely to succeed

    ...and so on...I'll stop since these aren't really "swearing" per se

    •
    Herbo wrote:
    A whole lotta awesome...

    These are great! Dotting...

    -- C.
    2 people marked this as a favorite.
    Herbo wrote:
  • A Goblin's Chance in a Library - Not bloody likely to succeed

    • This one in particular had me laughing at work. Bunch of people looking at me like I'd gone crazy.

    4 people marked this as a favorite.
    Poldaran wrote:
    Herbo wrote:
  • A Goblin's Chance in a Library - Not bloody likely to succeed
    • This one in particular had me laughing at work. Bunch of people looking at me like I'd gone crazy.

    Glad to be of service :-) If you liked the first bit here are a couple more. I'll spoiler them in case people'd rather get on with more firey cursing and such.

    Slang, cont.'d:

  • Bumpers: Derogatory slang term for gnomes, as they are tripping hazards.
  • Knee Pads: Derogatory slang term for halflings. A play on 'footpads', as halflings are almost as mistrusted as Varisians (in my version of things anyway).
  • Make an Offering to Erastil: Relieving ones self in the wilderness.
  • Saluting Gozreh: Relieving ones self in the ocean.
  • Besmara's Blood: Rum
  • Twig Benders: Derogatory term for elves
  • Hellknight Handshake: Knee to the groin
  • Goblin's Bath House: A privy, latrine or outhouse
  • Queer as Ravenmoor Sausage: Something unknown or unnatural.
  • Shelyn's Best: Indelicate rhyming slang for a female's chest. "A couple o' shelyns turn a brain to mush faster n' an ogre skull jig."
  • Scone of Destiny: A halfling term for a mythical or likely non-existant "thing"

    • Lol dot.
    RPG Superstar 2013 Top 32

    These are great. Anyone else care to put their filthy tongue to work?

    You son of a games-master you!
    Herbo wrote:


    Ulfen Tart - Rhyming slang for Fart. "Ye gods, who dropped an ulfen in here?"

    Just got to use this one in our game!

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