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Lenn is strong, maybe not quite THAT strong...
Anyone who uses a howitzer as a personal firearm...deserves to be given a wide berth, like, 100 miles or so. ;)
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That's what the tank is for. Kyle's gatling-d Vulcans were on a chassis. I doubt Lenn wants to haul around a few tons of ammunition along with a 10+ ton cannon.
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Kyle would be the one to build a tank to carry a large bore cannon...not that I am against this or anything, bringing a tank to a sword fight is...very Kyle!
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Lenn, the cannon on the M1A1 is for shooting, while I am impressed you can actually swing it like a mace and use vital strike, I was more hoping we would be shooting it...
I LIKE HOOKERS!
Well..that solves that.
;)
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Kyle would be the one to build a tank to carry a large bore cannon...not that I am against this or anything, bringing a tank to a sword fight is...very Kyle!
Actually, if we're being honest here, Kyle would probably be more likely to build one of these. Complete with stealth function. And probably some reactive armor and a force shield to make up for the tank's light plating.
Also, Lenn's player says no way would he shoot any gun, but suggested Kyle could give him an Atom Gun and just wait for the explosion, hoping Lenn makes his fort save.
Not that Kyle would do that, mind you.
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I like the way Kyle thinks. Improved Invisibility battle tank for the insta-gib!
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Owww, that would make my work commute way more fun!
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News reporter from a traffic helicopter "Oh my Gawd, it's horrible! Dozens of cars have been somehow flattened, crushing everyone inside them! You can see blood and severed appendages littering the road!
Oh no, that poor guy in the Porsche!"
distant audio picks up a scream that suddenly cuts off
Newscaster "Some invisible force just crushed that Porsche beneath it, like a monster truck! Where are the authorities?!"
;)
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Color me impressed Comrade...I think you get bonus points if the Porsche has an annoying custom license plate... :)
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Color me impressed Comrade...I think you get bonus points if the Porsche has an annoying custom license plate... :)
Of course! Just because no one else knows they're in Death Race 2017 does not change that you know. ;)
I have often considered turning my 2013 Chevy Silverado into a Mad Max style "bad driver punishment vehicle" complete with spiked cow catcher and armor.
NY state drives are...special...the dangerous, selfish, irresponsible type of special those of us who drive like intelligent humans tend to get road-ragy over.
Oh, here we KNOW we are all in Death Race, from 7-9 AM and 5-7 PM every weekday!
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The Defender of the Universe
I love this spell.
My wife apparently loves this spell too. She had every single one of those things on a tray before her. Also, a pickle. Because apparently a magic ring is no match for pregnancy hormones.
“Juiz, have you finished editing the footage?” I’d asked her to cut boring portions so we didn’t have to watch random stuff going on that had no bearing on what we wanted to watch.
“Editing complete. Footage length reduced ninety-seven percent. Audio has been cleaned up to adjust for signal degradation.”
“THIS SAUSAGE IS WEIRD!” Lenn said, taking a bite of his hot dog.
“This is a traditional food of my people, Lenn,” I protested.
“YOUR PEOPLE ARE WEIRD!”
I couldn’t really argue with that. “Try it with some mustard and pickle relish.” Oh, right. This was Lenn. “The yellow one and the green one.”
He did so and took a bite. “THIS IS BETTER.”
“Glad you like it. You should also try the pepperoni and sausage pizza, big guy.” Then I left him to check on Paulie, who was playing with his candies, trying to toss each chocolate raisin into the air and catch it. He seemed to be averaging about fifty percent.
Geo was studying his soda. “This is fascinating,” he said. “It seems to be an edible acid mixed with sugar. By all measure it should not be good, yet I cannot stop drinking it. Tell me, is this ‘Doctor Pepper’ a purveyor of illicit drugs? Because this product seems addictive.”
“No more than other sugar-laden products, I think. However, it is said that Dr. Pepper is the intellectual drink of the chosen ones.”
“Absolutely fascinating,” he said again, taking another sip.
“Be sure to pace yourself. We’re not stopping the movie mid-way if you need to use the little boy’s room.”
“What use would I have for a room owned by a child?”
What. “It’s just one of those mysteries. You’ll understand it when you need it.”
“Interesting group you have here,” Chadwick commented.
“True dot dee ayy tee,” I replied.
“What?”
“Stupid pun from back home. Don’t worry about it.” I looked around. “Everyone seems to have their snacks,” I said to my companions. “So let’s get this movie started!”
At my request, Juiz had given the recording a musical score. The screen projected nothing, but Copland’s “Fanfare for the Common Man” began playing, then the screen faded in, showing a montage of Orik and his people training, running drills that I’d taught them. In slow motion.
I’m giving Juiz a directorial budget and letting her go nuts when we get home.
There were scenes of drama as Orik and one of the other chosen pilots flirted, but another man, not a pilot, looked obviously jealous. Throughout the film, Juiz had actually cut together enough scenes of the two that I was seriously beginning to worry that one of them was going to die heroically later for maximum emotional appeal. I mean, seriously. The first fifteen minutes was character exposition and relationship buildup with only hints of their dangerous task.
Dark clouds heralded the coming attack. It seemed to be the third or fourth day of the film based on how much one character’s beard had grown after being seen in the background shaving earlier. Unless he’d shaved again since then during unshown scenes. It was unlikely that much more than that had passed, though, considering how long we’d been gone.
As the clouds began to collect and the tides began to roil, the wind picked up. Mozart’s “Lacrimosa” accompanied a full minute and a half of shots of the weather darkening, as seen from several stationary cameras I’d hidden through the town.
The tone shifted as the skies were now black. The landscape had taken on the pallor of twilight. And Holst’s “Mars, Bringer of War” had begun playing, softly at first, but rising to a crescendo as the first creature rose from the sea.
This vydrarch was as big as the biggest one we’d fought before. The one I had to eat my way into – not a statement I’d have thought I’d ever write, by the way. But it wasn’t the largest one. That comes later, though. For now, this one was accompanied by a dozen of the smaller ones. You know, just the ones that regularly sink ships. So, no biggie.
Meanwhile, as the watch sounded the alarm, Orik was scrambling to get ready. He was obviously unhappy with the suit I’d given him, struggling desperately to put it on. He even called me… well, I won’t repeat it here. Needless to say, it was pretty bad.
When it was on, he hit the button that vacuumed out all the excess air, making the suit truly skin-tight. He then donned the helmet. Not many men can pull off a one-piece spandex-like suit like that. But Orik looked pretty good in black and white.
He made his way through the city, fighting past fleeing civilians. There was a ton of radio chatter as he was running. I had made enough radios for all of the higher ranking guards, but even they lacked the discipline to cut the chatter to a required minimum.
Orik rounded a corner and ran smack into one of the lesser vydrarchs. It was distracted by several guards, but it was blocking the path. Suddenly, a figure popped out of a nearby door and dragged him into the home.
“What the hell is he doing there?” I asked aloud upon seeing the face of the one who had pulled Orik into the building.
“Who is that?” Chadwick asked.
“That’s the street prophet who I met before all of this started, the one who prophesized that I would need to build something to save the city. I’ve nicknamed him ‘Trashpile Terrance’, since I never got his real name.”
“What is the meaning of this?” Orik asked the weird hobo.
“The Maker has decreed that you are his champion. There was danger ahead, so I had to pull you to safety.”
“’The Maker’?” Both Orik and I asked simultaneously.
“It’s a cult,” Chadwick said. “They worship you.”
“What.”
He didn’t answer and we returned our focus to the movie. “The Maker has chosen to protect this city, and fill it with many tokens of His divine love for the people. We, His children, will do everything we can to help you fulfill His divine will.”
“I’ll take all the help I can get. But we’re trapped here and there are children. This building won’t survive a direct hit from that thing. There’s a fortified shelter down the street. Keep behind me and we’ll get you all to safety.”
“You need not worry, Champion. The Maker will take care of His faithful.” Great. As if I didn’t have enough responsibilities. Now people expected me to be God, too? Screw that.
“Well, I won’t be able to do my job if I’m worried about civilians behind me. I’ll get its attention. You get these people to the shelter.” Nickelback’s “Hero” had begun playing in the background.
“But Champion, how can you possibly do this and stay safe?”
Orik examined the home’s door. “It’s like you said.” He ripped the door off its frame. “The Maker will provide, right?” So help me, I was putting on adamantine-toed boots and kicking Orik square in dangley-bag if he started worshipping me.
Orik charged out, smacking the beast with the door and moving past it, all the while shouting to get its attention. For a moment, it seemed to be working. Then one of the serpent heads bit at him, getting thet door caught in its mouth. For a moment, it seemed like there was an impasse, for that head at least. It had taken his shield, but it couldn’t attack. And the other head was busy with a guard.
Everything changed when a child cried out – the soundtrack included – and the serpent’s heads both whipped around to find the easier prey. “Throw me your mace!” Orik commanded the guard. The man did as he was told without thinking.
Orik ran past the serpent, towards the child. For a moment, it looked grim, but suddenly he gained a burst of speed – the hobo was there, and he had cast a spell! – and made it just in time. He swung with all of his might, striking the darting serpent and deflecting its head enough to just miss the child.
Keyed up by the sight and the music, I leapt from my seat and roared, “RULES OF NATURE!” while thrusting my fist into the air. Everyone was staring at me. “What?” I asked, slightly embarrassed as I sat back down.
The serpents prepared for a dual strike. “Get the child out of here!” Orik ordered the hobo.
“Be safe, Champion!”
It didn’t look good for Orik. He could maybe deflect or dodge one. But two? Nope. It felt like we were about to watch Orik die. But then the Maker provided.
The vydrarch roared in pain as the giant metallic lion slammed into it. “Orik!” a man’s voice called over the speaker on the lion. “Hurry! You have to get to your lion! I’ve got this.”
“I’m on my way.” He tapped his microphone. “ETA, two minutes!”
The hobo healed Orik’s cuts and scrapes and the warrior rushed to the place where he would enter a secret door and take a chute down into his lion. Only, there was a lamia waiting for him. “End of the line for you!” Lucrecia crowed.
“I see it differently,” Orik quipped to the blind lamia as he charged.
“Even if you beat me, I’ve already won. The queen will be unstoppable without your precious construct.”
It was a hard fight, but when it was over, Orik tossed aside the bloody mace and stepped over the corpse of perhaps our most persistent foe. He tapped his radio. “I’m at the site. Lucrecia is dead, but she sounded like she may have sabotaged something. Someone contact that geth thing and see if it can repair any damage done.”
“Sabotage already located and repaired, Orik-Pilot,” Faraday’s voice answered over the radio. “You may engage systems when ready.”
“About damn time!” one of the other pilots roared over the radio.
“Glad you could join us, buddy,” another agreed.
“I’ve already taken care of things on my end,” the Lord-Mayor’s voice added. “Now hurry and get these things out of my city once and for all.”
“The Potent Rainbow Lions won’t let you down, sir!” came the voice of the mercenary company’s leader.
Orik took the slide down into the cockpit. In mere seconds, he had gone from the medieval to the twenty second century, or perhaps beyond. I really hoped he had spent enough time in the simulator. He began hitting the buttons in the right sequence, which did a lot to alleviate my fears. The platrom the lion was on began to rise and the illusory building faded away.
“Converge on the central core,” Orik ordered over the lions’ secure communication channel. “Take out any easy targets on the way, but I want you there in three minutes! Avoid collateral damage as much as possible. There are civilians down there.”
“Lion Red, acknowledged.”
“Lion Green, acknowledged.”
“Lion Yellow, acknowledged! Let’s kick their asses.”
“Lion Blue, acknowledged. Good luck, Orik.” This last was the voice of the young woman Orik had been chatting with before.
Orik’s lion – Lion Black – charged forward as he placed his hands on the controls. In truth, the whole thing ran on a telepathic uplink, but I found that having controls soothes the pilot’s mind. And in even further truth, I could totally have had them all run on VI systems, but I really wanted a human there in case something not covered in the VI programming came up.
Lion Black made short work of one of the medium vydrarchs, demoting what had seemed like a boss before into little more than a goon, in fine videogame fashion. It bounded through the streets, leaping over buldings and not even stopping to fight the “little” guys, which it ended with rockets and lasers.
The radio signaled. “Coastal watch is reporting the arrival of the largest of these things yet. It’s massive! Easily two or three times the size of the previous large ones!”
“Hear that?” Orik called over the secure com. “That must be the Queen that Lucrecia mentioned. We are running out of time. Everyone get there on the double!”
“Yes, sir!” the others called back in unison.
Less than a minute from his target – the grounds of the Lord-Mayor’s mansion – Orik flipped the switch to commence the transformation sequence. Music began to play from speakers throughout the city, and then my voice began to speak where all could hear.
"From days of long ago, from uncharted regions of the universe, comes a legend. The legend of Voltron: Defender of the Universe. A mighty robot, loved by good, feared by evil. As Voltron's legend grew, peace settled across the galaxy. On Planet Earth, a Galaxy Alliance was formed. Together with the good planets of the cosmos, they maintained peace throughout the universe until a new horrible menace threatened the galaxy. Voltron was needed once more.”
“Does he have to be so gods-damned dramatic?” Orik asked, rolling his eyes.
I was suddenly aware that most of the people in the room were giving me looks. “It’s an important part of the magic,” I insisted.
“Right. You tell yourself that,” Chadwick teased.
On screen, the central unit began to crackle with electricity – also entirely necessary, I swear! – as the final lion reached the courtyard. The fusion core roared as the lions began to transform into their necessary parts. But nothing happened beyond that.
“Orik, I think you have to say it,” one of the other pilots suggested.
“Oh for the love of… fine.” He sighed, then took a deep breath. “Form feet and legs! Form arms and body! And, I'll form the head!”
As Orik spoke, the different lions took their places, levitated into place by the electromagnets in the central unit – see, I told you it was necessary. When it was over, a colossus towered above the Lord-Mayor’s mansion.
Orik gave the camera he couldn’t see a smirk and the soundtrack changed to the theme from Pacific Rim. “Okay, let’s do this. Head straight for the queen!”
On the coastline, within the shallow water, was where the colossus met the monster. She let out a horrifying roar, but Voltron stood stoic. They charged each other, two lion-faced hands grappling massive serpent heads while a third tried in vain to bite into the machine.
“Plasma-throwers!” Orik ordered. Two of the lion faces – one hand and one foot – unleashed gouts of electrically charged plasma. The monster roared in pain and stepped back, but was still more or less fine. “Try the ice gun!”
The other hand stretched out and unleashed a spray of flash-frozen icicles. The monster dodged into the water. It seemed to disappear entirely.
“It could come from anywhere. Keep your eyes open and be ready for anything!”
It was almost a minute – a very tense minute – before the monster surfaced again. It came up from behind them, grappling the machine and launching it backwards, where it crashed into one of the buildings on the shoreline – a marina, I think.
“This thing has taken everything we can throw at it!” one of the pilots wailed.
“Not everything!” Orik said, his lips parting into a wolfish expression. “Hit it with everything we have from ranged to make it mad. Then let it get close and be ready on my signal!”
“Understood!”
“I hope this works,” another said almost meekly.
“Of course it will! Believe in ourselves!” the young woman said. I swear, how did they find someone with just the right amount of upbeat to be Princess Allura?
Blast after blast, from rockets to railguns to elemental weapons of all types, struck the enemy, angering it more than hurting it. But those were never the weapons I intended to finish the fight, and Orik knew that. As predicted, the monster charged.
It was less than fifty yards away when Orik gave the signal. “Now! FORM BLAZING SWORD!”
The two lion-faced arms slammed together. In in the right one appeared massive cylinder. As they pulled apart, the fusion core vented its secondary payload through the left lion, forming a massive blade of highly compressed molten metal in the magnetic field created by the cylinder.
It was the closest thing I could make to a lightsaber. I called it a Thanix Blade, after a “beam” weapon from a different game.
The queen couldn’t stop her charge. The momentum was too great. So she slammed right into the extended blade. “Weren’t expecting that, were you!” Orik crowed. “Release magnetic field!”
Molten metal, now free from its bonds, exploded through the monster’s inner flesh like it was so much Styrofoam. Only the beast’s tough hide contained it. She collapsed, her insides completely liquefied and thoroughly cooked.
There was an explosive cheer from all five members of the Voltron Force. “They’re retreating!” came the call over the radio.
“Hear that?” Orik asked. “That’s the sound of more work to do! Every one of those that doesn’t make it back out to see is one fewer to harass ships around here. We still have ammunition, so let’s get moving!”
“Yes, sir!” the others roared enthusiastically.
And that was it. The end of the movie. I mean, there was a montage of them killing fleeing vydrarchs, and then Orik and the young woman forgetting how nervous they were and kissing, but it was pretty much done.
“I bet that would kill a lot of giants,” Lenn commented, uncharacteristically thoughtfully.
“Heh,” Lenntu chuckled in agreement.
“I find your talent for machines of destruction most interesting,” Geo said, his “Jack” personality showing through.
“I want to watch the part where her insides exploded again!” Paulie’s firebug personality added.
“So that’s pretty much it,” Chadwick agreed. “What are you going to do now?”
“I still have plenty of time to get work done before tomorrow,” I answered.
“Right. I’ll go make sure things are going well outside.”
After a few minutes, Aurora and I were the only ones left. I was mostly waiting to see if there was a scene after the credits – Juiz gave herself credit for almost all of the work, by the way. Also, I was enjoying cuddling with my wife in a movie theater.
“Do you really have to go work right now?” Aurora asked.
“I can put it off for a bit. Have something in mind?”
“Well, I’ve never had sex with a god before,” she said impishly.
I threw a piece of popcorn at her but relented, turning my clothes into a toga before throwing her over my shoulder and carrying her off to bed.
Why the toga? Well, if you’re gonna roleplay in bed, might as well look the part, right?
It took a complete rewrite(I hated how it came out the first time), but I've finally done it. Not bad considering I've been keeping up with the other one and dealing with a transfer to new management at work. :P
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The Suicide Mission, Part 1
My twin sister was waiting for me. “What’s up?” I asked.
“You’re on edge, so I thought maybe talking with Samantha would help.”
“It’s just that prophecy. I’m still worried that we’re all going to die, even if we win.”
“I’m sorry,” came the voice of Samantha as she rose from the flowers. “But I can’t really tell you much. Doing so would invite others to interfere. But that doesn’t mean I can’t tell you anything. The answers you seek can be found in the Morning, little shepherd.”
“Yeah, that doesn’t help much. Also, ‘little shepherd’?”
“You’re trying to protect the docile masses against the wolves. It seems fitting.”
“Fair enough. So there’s nothing you can do to help?”
“Not against the Runelord. But I’ll tell you what. If someone somehow manages to summon a Great Old One, I’ll come help out.” She smiled beatifically at that.
I knew a dismissal when I saw one. “Great,” I said. “Any chance I could use your Playstation for a bit before I go?” A bit of gaming would take my mind off of things for a while.
“Sorry, but it’s doing that update thing.”
“At the most inconvenient time,” I said wryly.
“At least that part’s like normal,” Kira laughed. “Samantha’s got a shelf of board games, though. Want to do a game of Cataan?”
“Sure, why not?”
I woke up early in the morning and got to work. The day was finally here. Once everyone was up, we were taking a secret path revealed to us by Morgiv and heading up to Karzoug’s final stronghold. One way or another, before the day was done, this would likely be over. And, thanks to, or perhaps in spite of, Samantha’s advice, I wasn’t scared.
I was terrified.
Not that something would happen to me. If I died in the process of taking out the Runelord before he could be a problem, then so be it. I’d made my peace with that. Mostly, anyway.
No, what scared me was the possibility of something happening to Aurora and our unborn child. But I would do everything within my power to prevent that from happening. If that meant I had to somehow channel the determination of Commander Shepard, the genius and ruthlessness of Xanatos, and the sheer insanity-fueled awesomeness of Deadpool to do it, then that was simply what I would do. There was no other option. There was no other possible outcome.
I would move heaven and earth to make it happen.
And, right now, what that entailed was making another rocket launcher for Juiz as well as further enchantments on a few people’s gear.
Geo came to check on me first. “I’ve plotted out an optimal pathway up the pinnacle based on what Morgiv could tell us,” he said. “I suspect that they won’t know what hit them.”
“Damn straight,” I replied, doing my best to put on a confident face. He then left to allow me to get back to work.
Lenntu came next. “I’ve been using this place’s training room to test out these grenades you’ve given me. It’s just too bad that we can’t take any of the grenades in here out with us.” We couldn’t take any food either, but that would have been less useful.
“Don’t worry,” I told him. “I’ve made plenty of them for you.”
“I have no doubt of that. I’ll leave you to it. I have to go double check all the straps on my armor and clean my gun.”
“We’ve got this,” I told him.
Next came Paulie. “Today shall be GLORIOUS!” he said.
“Absolutely,” I agreed. “I bet they’ll even make statues in our honor.”
He twitched. “Do you think my statue could have its hands always ON FIRE?”
I laughed in spite of myself. “I don’t see why not.” He let out a squeal of excitement and left as well.
Lenn stopped by afterwards. “I WANT TO LEARN TO MAKE BEER TO GO WITH THE SAUSAGE.”
“Once this is over, I promise I’ll help you figure it out.”
“GOOD. BUT FIRST WE HAVE GIANTS TO KILL.”
“Yep.”
Once he was gone, Juiz spoke up. “I have completed over fifty thousand simulations. Based on known data, these simulations suggest that we have an eighty seven percent chance of neutralizing target Karzoug today.”
“And what are our chances of survival in the process?”
“Simulations inconclusive.”
“Yeah, I thought as much.”
Aurora was the only one who had left me to my work, so I sought her out when I was done. I found her within the building’s chapel. The room was setup like a Catholic church, but it had shrines not just to my god, but to all the other gods that anyone in the party might conceivably worship.
“Pray with me?” Aurora said, holding out her hand in invitation.
“Sure. Nervous?” I asked as I took her hands.
“A little. You?”
“Not a single bit,” I lied.
“I’ll be nervous for both of us, then,” she said with a smile. We bowed our heads and she began speaking a prayer. “Great Abadar, please guide us that we may fulfill our duty to our people. Holy Iomedae, please lend us your strength so we may smite the wicked. Mysterious Nethys, please grant that the magic we wield will always serve us well. Noble Shelyn, please look after us so that my beloved and I may remain together now and always. Brave Cayden, please grant us the courage needed to face our foes. And Swift Desna, please grant that our travels will always be as rewarding as our destinations.”
She squeezed my hands, so I continued. “Lord, I know that you have a hands-off policy when it comes to us, your children, but perhaps, maybe, just this once, please watch over us and nudge things so they go our way if possible. Amen.” I crossed myself.
And that was it. It was time to go. We bid our farewells to Chadwick, Morgiv and the Rangers, then took the secret path.
There was a monster in the tunnel, but it fled in terror at our arrival. Apparently it had gotten wind of what we’d accomplished. Lenn looked disappointed. “I wanted to hit it,” he growled. I think even his nerves were a bit raw at the moment.
“Don’t worry, we’ll hit something soon,” Geo told him.
“Should we sing a jaunty tune as we climb?” I asked.
“I think I’m good,” Geo said.
As we came out of the tunnel, we found ourselves in a place that felt strange. My magic sight confirmed that the veil between worlds was thin there, so I warned the others. We all stopped and took stock of the path, which revealed the giant spiders before us.
Now, when I say “giant spider”, I don’t mean they were the size of dogs, or even horses. No, they were bigger than elephants. Maybe about the size of a mammoth, even. And weirdest of all, they all had an odd number of legs, as though some even bigger creature had accidentally torn off one while trying to carry them out of its house. Except, you know, no stumps where the legs used to be.
“You there,” the largest spider called out to us. Because of course they could talk. In fact, now that I got a better look at them, I knew what they were. They were the intelligent spiders of Leng.
“What is it?” Aurora called back.
“We are trapped here, so you will complete our mission.”
It couldn’t hurt to hear them out. “What’s your mission?” I asked.
“Our enemies, those from Leng who play at aping your vexingly symmetrical appearance, have returned to this world to hnor an ancient alliance with the recrudescent lord.”
“So, what, you want us to kill them?” I asked.
“If possible. But stopping their machinations will suffice. They maintain some kind of device. We know not its purpose. But destroy it and its purpose matters not. Agree to this and we shall allow you to pass.”
And then Lenn charged. So we ended up killing them anyway. So much for talking. On the plus side, we looted some ioun stones from them that would allow a few more of our party to survive the mountain’s oxygen-deprived death zone without me needing to expend spells.
When we reached the peak, Aurora and I took to the sky to invisibly scout out an entrance to the citadel. There was an easy front door, of course, but Karzoug knew we were coming, so it could be assumed that he’d be waiting for us. No, we needed another entrance if at all possible.
There was one such entrance. It appeared to be a hole in the wall. It wasn’t optimal, but it was better than storming in the front door. So we returned and let the others know.
“We should assume that there will be something guarding this entrance as well,” Geo suggested.
“That does seem likely,” I agreed. “But this entrance was hard to spot, so I still think it’ll be less defended than the main entrance.” No one had anything to argue against that, so it was decided. We headed for the second entrance.
For the record, I wasn’t wrong. There was certainly less defense there than I expected at the front door. But that leaves a lot of room for some kind of dangerous defense. Like a freaking Planetar.
In case you have no idea what that is, a Planetar is a type of angel. They’re nine foot tall beings of sheer fiend-wrecking badassery and usually serve as the generals of angelic armies. So yeah, we didn’t want to fight this thing.
And, based on the look on its face, she didn’t want to fight us either. We did what we could to try to talk her down, but it wasn’t working. She continued to attack us, despite looking really upset at doing so. Something wasn’t right.
“Fall back!” I told the others.
It took a moment to get Lenn under control long enough to retreat, but after that, we managed to flee with little trouble. “I don’t feel right fighting her,” Aurora said, sadness in her eyes.
“So, front door after all, brah?” Paulie asked.
“Not yet,” I answered. “My magic sight told me that she’s under a planar binding. We might be able to find a way to free her. Or worst case scenario, we might be able to banish her back to her home plane.”
“Do you have a spell for that?” Aurora asked.
“Yes, but I’ll need to prepare it. And I don’t know if it’s necessary. If she really is reluctant, maybe we can free her and gain an ally.”
“How?”
“I can prepare a spell to allow me to read her thoughts. If we can get her to think about the terms of her binding, maybe we can find a loophole.”
“It’s worth a shot,” Aurora said. “You, Paulie and I will go. I’ll keep her attention and Paulie can keep me alive while you try to communicate. Geo, we’ll need you and the Lenns to be ready to come pull us out. Juiz, you’ll facilitate communication between us.”
We moved in. And, of course, I was right. “Please! You have to kill me!” the angel thought at me.
“There has to be another way,” I protested.
“As long as my body is still regenerating, I can die and it won’t be permanent. Please! Kill me and I’ll be free!”
Oh! That was a great idea! “I have what we need!” I told the others. “Fall back! We need to plan!” We fell back and I put a wall of force between us and the angel.
“So what do we do?” Geo asked.
“Hit her as hard as we can without using any evil magic. If we can kill her without doing so, she’ll be free when she regenerates.”
“How does that work?” Lenntu asked.
“It’s pretty simple, really. Whoever bound her was an idiot and gave vague conditions for her binding. So we’re going to loophole it.” Thank God for stupid enemies. “It’s not gonna be fun, though.”
I’m going to gloss over what we did. As I said, it wasn’t fun. It was brutal and it was ugly. Suffice it to say, several minutes later, the angel was free. “Thank you,” she said to us as Aurora helped her to her feet. She then took a long look at Aurora. “You have my eyes.”
“What?!” Aurora asked.
“You’re one of my descendants,” the angel responded. “I fell in love with a mortal once, long ago. It’s nice to see that some traits continue to breed true.”
Okay, this was getting weird. “I hate to break up the family reunion, especially when one of the parties involved is my beloved wife, but the longer we tarry, the greater risk we face that someone will come after us.”
The angel assessed me. “That is likely true. I don’t know much about the inside of this keep, but I will aid you. I intend to have words with that wizard, Khalib, who bound me here. I am Ayruzi, and when we have time, I shall have to decide if I approve of your marriage to my descendent.” Great.
The inside of the citadel was constructed of stone sheathed in marble. It was opulent for opulence’s sake. “This looks like some Saudi prince’s third palace,” I commented to myself.
“What’s that?” Aurora asked.
“Don’t worry about it. It would take too much time to explain right now. I’ll explain later.”
Our entrance hadn’t gone unnoticed. Suddenly, an image of Karzoug appeared before us, in an area where my magic sight revealed a ripple in the fabric of reality. “And so the fools have found me. I must applaud your tenacity. You are much more persistent than the worms I thought you to be. You are more like hungry maggots in your endless squirming and writhing to get to the death that awaits you at the core of your fate. I am that fate, maggots. I am that death!”
And then he cast a spell. I’m not sure how he did so, but it was a good indication that he had magic that was beyond my current understanding, which was a good sign for my hopes of getting home. And a bad sign for us, because that spell hit like a truck made of sound and fury.
The spell itself was one I’ve heard of. It mimics the effects of a banshee’s wail. Luckily, only Aurora, Lenn, Juiz and I were in the radius, as the others were taking a peak down the other hallway. Even then, it was devastating.
Juiz was immune to the magic thanks to being a construct, and Lenn managed to resist the effects, but Aurora and I took the full power. I only managed to survive thanks to the fact that I had surrounded myself with necromantic energy at the beginning of the day – it acts similar to an ablative force field and deadens the effect of anything that hits me – and the healing enchantments on my armor and buckler. Also, the contingency spell I had placed upon myself with a scroll. Without those, I would have been done for.
Aurora had the same healing enchantment on her armor, but even then managed to make it through only through sheer force of rage. Ayruzi had to rush over to heal her before she collapsed.
Seeing her hurt like that filled me with rage. I drew my gun and pointed it at the image.
“Fool. You think you can harm me here? I’m merely a projection.”
“Screw you,” I said, squeezing the trigger. Karzoug cried out in surprise as his image was torn to shreds. My magic sight revealed that the ripple in the fabric of reality that had allowed him to project himself was torn and rent from the passing of the bullets.
“How did you do that?” the angel asked as she turned her attentions to my wounds.
“Used the Runelords’ own magic against them,” I replied, holding up my gun. Sure, I had mostly been annoyed and striking out of anger, but it worked, so I was taking credit. They didn’t need to know that the weapon itself had given me the impression that it would work.
I quickly surrounded myself in more necromantic energy. And not a moment too soo, because the shriek had drawn attention. “GIANTS!” Lenn roared, excited to have an enemy he understood.
There were more giants than I would have expected after how many we’d already cleared out below. And not just any giants. These were the real big ones – storm giants and cloud giants being controlled by terrifying Thassilonian Rune giants. Any other group might have been in trouble. But there were seven of us. We had two spellcasters – eight party members and three casters if you count Ayruzi – as well as a veritable arsenal of heavy weapons.
And, of course, we had Lenn. No giant was safe from Lenn.
We managed to defeat them pretty handily, is what I’m saying. We even had time to heal up before a wizard showed up with a number of additional giants in tow. “Why I do declare that you all make some frightful racket,” the mage, who I assumed was the same mage that had bound Ayruzi, said. No I have no idea why he sounded like some kind of southern gentleman – or maybe, more aptly, like a malevolent Colonel Sanders. At this point, I’ve stopped questioning it.
“You will pay for binding me!” Ayruzi swore.
“Well, pardon my use of such a powerful and hee-larious deterrent to any would be interlopers. I promise that I’ll send you a few pieces of you right on back to your home plane shortly, right after me and these here giants tear your new friends limb from limb.”
“YOU SHOULDN’T BE MEAN TO GIRLS!” Lenn roared, charging. Right past the giants. He ignored the giants. LENN IGNORED THE GIANTS. No, you aren’t listening. LENN. WAS. SO. MAD. HE. FORGOT. THAT. THERE. WERE. GIANTS. PRESENT.
LENN.
The wizard tried to react. But there was simply no way he was surviving a Lenn that pissed off. The big guy splattered him into the floor in a single blow. You would need a bucket to gather up enough of Khalib to identify.
The giants died in a hail of gunfire – and arrows – once all of us picked our jaws off the floor and thought to attack them. It wasn’t even funny. They were absolutely terrified of us after Lenn’s sudden display.
After looting him, we decided that the way they had come from was likely back towards the front door and headed off in the other direction. As we passed, another image of Karzoug appeared. “You may have slain my apprentice, but you –“ he was cut off by a cry of pain as I shot that image as well.
We then came to a set of great doors covered in massive carvings. My magic sight was blinded by the number and power of the auras contained on the doors. But I got a few ideas of the power within. Not in time to prevent Paulie from touching the doors and getting us stuck in a magical trap, mind you, but at least I knew what I had to do once we were there.
The trap teleported us to an extraplanar maze. There was something hunting us and trying to kill us. The only thing we had to do was for one of us to escape, then the others would be free as well. Of course, anyone who died would stay dead, so time was an issue.
But I’ve seen harder Sudoku puzzles. I found the exit in less than six seconds.
“You think that was meant to keep us away from Karzoug?” Aurora asked.
“It could also be a vault,” Geo suggested. “But a vault might have something useful to us, so it’s not a bad idea to get into it either way.”
A fair point. “Kyle, do you know a way to get in?” Aurora asked.
“Well, I could waste one of my biggest spells,” I said. “Completely negate all the magic contained within. Or, we could try this other idea. A theory I’ve been working on.” I pulled out a vial of rust colored liquid. “This is called djezet. It’s very rare and can be used to enhance spells, among other things. If I use enough of it, and in the right places, I believe I can short out the spell. If I do it wrong, though…”
“What would happen?”
I did the calculations in my head. “With the amount of energy contained in that spell? We’d be lucky if the explosion was merely big enough to completely obliterate the mountain.”
She smiled. “Well, if you believe you can do it, then I trust you. If you’re unsure, go with the safer option.”
Paulie cackled. “Blowing up the mountain would probably take Karzoug out too, so yeah, let’s do that.”
It took a full ten minutes, but when it was over, I had done it. I had connected compatible but non-interfering pathways in the magic form. The spell shorted out and became inoperative. Which meant I was going to be writing a paper on that when I had some time to go back to Absalom. But for now, there was something beyond the doors that would interest us, in one way or another.
Now, all that was left was to open the door itself. Which wasn’t terribly hard, considering we had Lenn with us. And crowbars. Several crowbars.
Inside the room, we found the Denizens of Leng that the spiders had warned us about. They were working on some kind of eldritch device that was projecting an image of the city we were looking at, but it appeared to be an image of the past thanks to the lack of the ravages of time upon the buildings.
What the hell? Were they trying to change the past somehow? Or maybe, were they trying to bring the past here? Bringing forward wealth? Or perhaps an army?
There wasn’t time to try to figure it out. The Denizens immediately attacked us. And died horribly. There was pale, alien blood everywhere. And the device was damaged in the fight. Because it got in Lenn’s way. So he hit it.
Now it was stuck in an on position, and shaking. “Run!” I shouted, ignoring the fact that the image was now of a strange, alien realm. That was a problem for after we managed to survive what I was sure was a coming explosion.
The explosion itself was underwhelming. We wouldn’t have survived staying in the room, mind you, but otherwise, it really wasn’t that big a deal. No, the weird part was the way the whole mountain shook in reaction to the explosion. It came almost a minute later, and it felt more like an earthquake than anything else.
When we went back to check, the device was no longer projecting any kind of image, but it was still most definitely still active, even in spite of the damage. I got the feeling that we should shut it off, but at the same time, I had no idea how to do so. After a few minutes of trying, I realized it could take me hours to shut it off properly. And strapping C-4 to it wasn’t an option either, since I had no idea what kind of damage that could lead to.
No, we’d have to deal with it after Karzoug was taken care of. Hopefully that wouldn’t be a problem.
And maybe someday I’ll figure out exactly where that dead Hound of Tindalos we found in the rubble of the Denizens’ laboratory had come from. It wasn’t there when we’d started running.
At least, I don’t think it was.
Yes, that is a second update in less than a month. Frabjous day and all that.
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The Suicide Mission, Part 2
“Current time is Twelve Fifteen,” she replied.
Crap. “Is something wrong?” Aurora asked.
“No, just wondering if we were early enough to head back to Magnimar today if we finished soon, but I guess we’ll probably want to stay at Chadwick’s base camp tonight and head back tomorrow at the rate we’re going.” It was a lie, but I didn’t want to worry her and she seemed to accept it.
Kira, on the other hand, knew what was wrong. “Still haven’t found the answer?” she asked in our brain.
“No,” I admitted mentally. “And it’s afternoon now. So I guess that ship has sailed. Unless Samantha gave you any hints?”
“Sorry. And she’s not letting me into the Dreamlands right now. I think she wants me to be here with you in case you need me.”
I sent a warm feeling towards her, the mental equivalent of a smile. “Thanks, sis. I get the feeling we’ll need all the help we can get if we’re going to make it out of this.” It didn’t matter. We had to do this, no matter the cost. The price of not doing it was far higher than the cost of losing our lives saving everyone.
I'm not a coward,
I've just never been tested
I'd like to think that if I was,
I would pass.
As we made our way down the hallway, another image of Karzoug appeared. “You may have slain Khalib, but you will never –!“ He stopped speaking as I shot his image, causing him to cry out in pain as it disappeared.
We entered the next doorway and found ourselves in a room filled with exotic furs. A quartet of lamias appeared from the far door, dressed in sensuous silken gowns. Lenn was excited. “I LIKE HOOKERS!” he shouted gleefully. Which caused the lamias to attack. Not sure I can blame them.
Personally, I was sad that we dirtied all those pretty furs.
I still can’t get over how used to the craziness and violence I’d become. It hadn’t been that long ago since I’d been freaked out near to the point of catatonia at the home of those ogres. Now? I was upset that we’d ruined some damn furs. Also, they had holy symbols of Lamashtu on them, so killing them was probably a public service.
I’d already pissed the Mother of Monsters off. What’s a few more dead clerics?
The lamias were followed by grotesque, warped creatures that looked like mutated lamias. They died too, but I was sure I’d see them again in my nightmares. I guess some things hadn’t changed. The PTSD was gonna be a b$&@* when I finally made it home.
The old church bell will peal with joy
Hurrah! Hurrah!
To welcome home our darling boy,
Hurrah! Hurrah!
And we’ll all need Zoloft
When Kyle comes marching home.
Beyond them was what looked like some kind of prison. “I know your scent…” a voice said from the shadows. We turned and faced the astradaemon as it stepped into the light.
Crap. Could he have been talking to me, after the daemons I’d encountered in the afterlife? Guess it really didn’t matter. Ayruzi wasn’t having any of his shit and attacked immediately. Even without us, an astradaemon was in no way a match for a planetar. With our help? She barely took a scratch.
After we were sure that the daemon was dead, we made our way to what appeared to be a throne room. Inside, we ran across a raven haired beauty wielding a sword that glowed blindingly in my magic sight. It was more enchanted than Aurora’s armor, which was saying something.
I picked apart the numerous auras quickly, and I was sure of only a few things. First, like I said, this weapon was incredibly enchanted. Second, it was sentient. Third, it was a product of Thassilonian rune magic.
But I wasn’t the only one who had noticed something. Ayruzi, with her telepathy, could sense something I couldn’t. Even as the woman shouted a denouncement of us and charged – backed up by several cloud giant runeslaves – the planetar shouted, “The sword is controlling her! Her actions are not her own!”
Crap. “We have to save her!” Aurora said, moving to intercept the fighter so Lenn could focus on the giants.
“She needs to be separated from the sword!” Ayruzi shouted back. “I’ve already cast two spells to try to break the enchantment, but the magic’s hold is too strong.”
If killing the woman had been our goal, I’m sure it would have been an easy fight. But we had almost instantly decided to try to save her. We were going to need more than normal effort to subdue her.
I need a hero
I'm holding out for a hero 'til the morning light
He's gotta be sure
And it's gotta be soon
And he's gotta be larger than life!
Larger than life
That hero took the form of Geo. With the woman’s attention focused on Aurora, she didn’t see Geo sneaking up behind her. I’m not even sure he had needed to turn his skin camouflage, though better safe than sorry, I guess.
From behind her, Geo’s arm shot out and his tentacles wrapped around her throat. He deftly squeezed, putting enough pressure on her carotid artery to choke off the blood supply to her brain without doing any permanent damage.
The woman’s eyes rolled back in her head and she collapsed. The sword clattered to the floor just as Lenn dealt the final blow on the remaining giant. I wish we could have saved them too, but not with Lenn there. Maybe once this was over, we could take the time to try to free any remaining runeslaves without taking Lenn with us.
Ayruzi was cradling the unconscious form of the woman. “Can you help her?” Aurora asked.
“The blade’s hold is too strong. I need to get some distance between them. It may also take time for the influence to wane.”
She was probably right. But we couldn’t send her off somewhere random. Luckily, I had an idea. “We have a base camp down in the main city. If you take her there, my adopted brother can provide a place for her to be held safely and moderately comfortably until you can break the hold on her mind.” Chadwick would make sure that proper precautions were taken.
“What about the sword?” Geo asked. “We shouldn’t leave it lying around, but it might be too dangerous for us to just pick up.”
I had an idea for that too. “I’ll take care of it,” I said. I used my blood to fabricate a shell of mithracite around the weapon. At Aurora’s request, Ayruzi healed the damage that had done to me before I used my gun to nudge the mithracite shell into the portable hole I’d laid next to it. The hope was that the gun’s enchantment was proof against the powers of the Runelord of Greed, so it might protect me from the weapon’s influence.
It seemed to work, because even after I had closed up the hole, I felt nothing from the weapon. I would have to figure out how to deal with it later. Maybe I could find a way to fling the damn thing into the sun?
A rune giant stumbled into the room and was met by instant resistance. Juiz shot him in the face with a rocket, hitting at the same time as Paulie’s fireball, Lenn’s axe and Lenntu’s shotgun blast. The giant never had a chance.
“You’ll be okay if I leave to take the girl?” the angel asked us as the smoke cleared.
“We’ll be fine,” Aurora said. “And this is important too.”
“Don’t worry about us,” I agreed. “We’ve got this.”
My wife’s angelic forebear set the woman down and pulled both of us to her in a surprise embrace. “I’m so very proud,” she said. “Of both of you.” She then picked up the unconscious woman again and set off towards the exit.
We moved down the hall and found another projection of Karzoug. “Now listen here, you impudent –!” Once more, he was cut off as I shot his projection. I was really starting to enjoy doing that to him. And I think it was beginning to get to him, too, since the next wrinkle in the fabric of reality we encountered, Karzoug wasn’t projecting himself at us.
Didn’t mean I couldn’t strike him from it, though. I felt my gun pulling its way towards the tear. I went with it and thrust the weapon into the distortion. It shuddered and collapsed like it had when I shot Karzoug’s image. I hoped that it hurt him as much as the other times.
Hey, it might have been petty, but it was either that or think about what horrible fate might await us at the end. I stand by my decision.
At the end of the hallway, we found a room with a giant statue of Karzoug made of gold. Because of course that was a thing that existed. Well, not for long. As soon as we were done, I was melting that down to use for something that would irritate Karzoug. Maybe feeding the poor or something.
But first, we had to deal with the demon someone had put there to defend it. It was a shemhazian – a combination of some of the greatest hunters in the natural world – and thus I wasn’t worried. A bound shemhazian is a sure sign that the summoner lacks imagination. It’s a pure expression of brute force.
And if brute force was the currency of the day, well, we could deal with that. We had Lenn. And a rocket launcher. Also, a rail gun. And Paulie was in “Glory!” mode. So basically, you know, we had the advantage here.
Oh yeah! It was like lightning
Everybody was fighting
And the music was soothing
And they all started grooving
Once the demon was dead, I patted the statue. “Codpieces for war orphans,” I said decisively.
“What’s that?” Aurora asked me.
“Nothing, dear,” I replied. “I suspect there can’t be much more resistance left. Let’s continue on.”
We reached what looked like the end of the road, which was dominated by a giant floating golden orb of some kind hovering over an altar or a dais or whatever you’d call it. And by giant, I mean it looked to be at least thirty feet in diameter!
Standing on the steps before the sphere was a lamia with a panther as her bottom half. At the base of the stairs was a trio of enslaved storm giants. “You have made it far, so called heroes. But you will never enter the Eye of Avarice! I, Most High Ceoptra, swear it upon my loyalty to the great Karzoug!”
“We’ll get the giants!” Lenntu shouted, as he, Lenn and Geo charged.
“Moving to assist,” Juiz said, drawing the rail gun and taking shots at giants.
“That leaves the priestess for us,” Aurora said, dashing between giants and up the stairs.
“GLORY!” Paulie shouted, unleashing a volley of brilliantly glowing arrows at the priestess. I summoned lantern archons in large numbers to assist all around, but mostly had them focus on the priestess.
The fight was over in less than a minute. How could it not be? Their over-reliance on giants had given us an advantage, considering our friends’ talents. I did feel a little bad for the runeslaves, but at least they were easy enough as opponents.
The giants fell first, and the others moved to assist Aurora, though it was unnecessary. “Karzoug! I have failed you!” Ceoptra wailed as Aurora’s final blow sped to meet her neck, severing her head from her body. It hit the steps and bounced three times before reaching the bottom.
As we expended the last of our weaker healing magic – we wanted to save the remaining big stuff for the fight with the runelord – I examined the sphere. Warily, I poked my head inside, and was immediately disoriented. But I could sense Karzoug’s presence, and I did notice one thing.
Everything else was blurry within the sphere, even my own body. But not the flames on the dais. And study of the magical auras confirmed it. Fire was the key. Flame would anchor you, and allow you to enter the realm through the gateway within the sphere. The realm that held our final foe.
Lenn went first, unsheathing his wings and stepping through. He appeared to disintegrate as he plane shifted. Next was Paulie, who shifted personalities and entered the sphere in the form of a fire elemental. He also disappeared quickly.
One by one, the others entered, lighting matches I had given them to open the way. Finally, only Aurora and I were left. We stood in the sphere and embraced. “Scared?” my beloved asked.
“A little,” I admitted. “But we’ll get through this.”
“Yes, we’ve managed to survive everything else so far by sticking together. We can do this.”
“That we can,” I agreed. “Ready?”
She nodded, though I had trouble seeing it. We kissed one last time, and both lit our matches. Then the world faded away around us as the flames engulfed us. We knew what it meant.
We’re coming for you, Karzoug. Koi koi.
Short entry, I know. In truth, it should have been part of the previous one, but I didn't want to make everyone wait since I wasn't sure how long it'd be until I had more time to work on the write up.
If I get in a groove, it's entirely possible I'll have finished the main campaign story by the end of the week(!), so that's exciting. All that will remain then will be the epilogue, which should be at least 2-3 more entries.
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Gamer
Back when I first saw that commercial – for the Marines, as I recall – I laughed. That wasn’t me. They were barking up the wrong tree with that one. Sure, I might fight against things I thought were wrong, but I’d do it quietly, in ways that wouldn’t endanger myself.
That’s what I thought.
Yet, somehow, here I was. I could have fled at any point. I nearly did, in fact. Several times, I nearly gave up and walked away. But something kept me pushing forward.
At first, I think Kira had a hand in it. Before she woke up, when we both thought she was simply a part of me, I think she pushed me to be stronger. But as things progressed, I think, at some point, I started moving on my own two feet, supported by Aurora and the others.
And so it was that I found myself in the demiplane of Karzoug’s sanctuary, on a platform over a pit of flame. BECAUSE OF COURSE HIS SANCTUARY LOOKED LIKE LITERAL HELL.
Well, not exactly, I guess. The pillars made of gold were certainly not in any description of Hell I’d ever heard. Nor had I expected there to be enslaved storm giants on balconies on either side of our entryway. I guess the rune giant on the platform between us and the throne wasn’t too surprising, nor was the dragon next to Karzoug’s throne. Karzoug could have been a decent fill-in for Satan, too.
As a weird aside, I wonder if this place’s affinity for fire was why flames had been the key to entering it.
In the center of the room, on a platform a bit above us – near where the rune giant was standing – was a structure that looked like a well of some kind, with a lens floating over it. If I had to guess, I was looking at the Runewell of Greed, though I was curious about what the lens was for.
“At long last, the interlopers have made their way to me,” Karzoug said from his throne. “I must admit that I have found your actions most vexing. None save the other Runelords have ever been such a thorn in my side. I am impressed, and thus, must give you your due.” He clapped sarcastically. “But your interference ends here and now. Perhaps, had I realized your potential before, I could have made you an offer to become my loyal servants. But it is too late now, you have already given me reason enough to despise you and I must admit that I will take great pleasure in watching you die.”
I was surprised that Lenn hadn’t charged yet. But it was all for the best. Lenn’s restraint and Karzoug’s speech gave me time to examine the strange lens with my magic sight, and let me tell you, I was not happy with what I was seeing.
The lens was made to capture the energy of the souls of those sacrificed by Lucrecia and others, and feed that energy into the Runewell. Once the well was filled with power, it would allow Karzoug to leave this place. And he needed a lot of souls. Hundreds, maybe even thousands, to fill the well. And I could sense that the goal was nearly reached.
Karzoug needed to die. His crimes would be paid with no lesser punishment.
I drew my gun, took aim and held down the trigger, blowing through the pizzicato’s entire magazine in a few seconds. Of course, not all of the shots hit, but several did. “Kill them!” Karzoug shrieked. I could hear the terror in his voice and knew that the time for speeches had passed.
Lenn sprouted his flaming wings once more and shot towards the rune giant. The giant reacted by casting a spell to try to control the next closest target, Geo. Unfortunately for the giant, all that did was bring Jack to the forefront. And he still had a pissed off Lenn right in his face.
Empowered by Paulie, Jack flew up to deal with the storm giant on the balcony to our left while Lenntu began moving from cover to cover, taking potshots at the giant on the balcony to our right. Paulie continued supporting everyone as best he could, taking cover from one of the giants so as to avoid being a target.
Aurora unsheathed her wings and flew up to engage the dragon while it was still on the ground. Which just left Juiz, Karzoug and me – and Kira, but she was mostly there for moral support at the moment. “Let’s keep Special K busy while the others deal with his underlings!” I told the AI. Her robotic shell nodded and used its jump jets to bound up to the opposite side of the platform from Aurora and ready her rocket launcher.
I used my all day flight enchantment to follow her, and arrived just in time to watch as she used her readied rocket launcher to interrupt the first spell Karzoug tried to cast. But he had a magic rod in hand, which he used to swiftly cast a second spell, and I must admit that I wish it’d been that one that had been interrupted.
We didn’t witness it, but time stopped for Karzoug. Sure, it was only for somewhere between six and thirty extra seconds, but there was a lot you can do in that period of time. On the plus side, he couldn’t harm us, since he was outside the flow of time. On the negative, though, that still left a lot.
It resulted in the sudden appearance of a swarm of greater fire elementals – a natural choice since the rocket had exploded in a burst of flame – between us and the Runelord of Greed.
The arrival of the elementals caused me to reevaluate the battlefield. I couldn’t be sure, but I had the feeling we were losing. Sure, each fight looked fine, but the key was me versus Karzoug. I couldn’t beat him in a head to head encounter. I could only hope to survive long enough to buy someone else time to finish their foe and come help me. And even then, I wasn’t sure I could do it.
“Put me in, coach!” Kira said.
“We might need my magic, though,” I protested.
“Then why not both?”
“Kira, that spell is untested. We don’t know what will happen if we use it.”
“At this rate, I’m pretty sure we both realize what will happen if we don’t!”
Crap. She was right. Either I take the risk or we lose. It was my ultimate spell, born of research into Kira's and my unique situation. I had created it on a whim, almost just to see if I could. But if I was right, if it worked, it would allow us to fight with all of Kira’s might while retaining my ability to cast.
“Alright. If this fails, it was nice knowing you. Juiz! I need you to protect me for a moment while I cast! Don’t let Karzoug come near me!”
“Noblesse Oblige,” Juiz responded. “Good luck. I look forward to your continued service as a savior.”
Once I started casting, I had to complete the spell. There was nothing else I could do, lest I risk a backlash. Unfortunately, I wasn’t the only one who had assessed the battlefield. Karzoug smirked and whirled his glaive, charging towards Aurora, who was completely distracted by her fight with the dragon.
If he reached her, he would stab her in the back, and she would die, along with our unborn child. But I couldn’t stop casting. Not even long enough to order Juiz to help her. I was helpless.
Deep in my soul, I understood that this was the moment spoken of in the prophecy. If Aurora died, it would cascade, like dominos falling, one after the other. The prophecy said, “These five are dangerous and may very well prove capable of slaying a Runelord, but their chances of survival while doing so are only as great as the chances of two men creating life without a woman.” We might possibly be able to slay Karzoug, and thus we would still win, but we would die trying.
Unbidden, Samantha’s words came to me. “The answers you seek can be found in the Morning, little shepherd.” I hadn’t understood what she had been trying to tell me, not until this very moment. Not until I saw Juiz ignore my order. Not until I watched as she abandoned me momentarily to rush to Aurora’s aid.
The answer wasn’t to be found in a time frame. The answer I sought could be found in the Morning, or more precisely, in the Morning War. She’d done everything short of spell it out for me, but I’d missed it. I knew she played the Mass Effect series. And she’d even called me Shepard, for crying out loud, but I’d missed it!
The Morning War refers to a fictional conflict in a video game, a war where a race known as the quarians had tried to exterminate their artificial creations, the geth, after the geth had shown signs of self-awareness. The war was started with a question. “Does this unit have a soul?”
When I’d created Juiz, I had considered making her as a VI, but decided instead to make her a fully aware AI. I’d imbued her with her own will and sense of identity. As such, where a VI would have continued acting on my order alone, Juiz was free to make her own decisions. She was free to do what she wanted, based on her own preferences and sense of what was right.
So she ignored my orders as she charged and grabbed at Karzoug, slowing him only momentarily as he was forced to kick her away and continue his charge.
I don’t know if Juiz has a soul, as I’m not sure how to create one, but I’m certain that she is truly alive. I had created life, without the help of a woman. And I wasn’t the only one. Geo had effectively created Lenntu as well.
Lenntu was nearby, taking shots at the storm giant, when he saw Karzoug’s plan. He moved quickly, and got between the Runelord and the distracted knight, his shotgun blast dissuading Karzoug from his attack. He barely made it, only thanks to Juiz’s efforts.
“Their chances of survival while doing so are only as great as the chances of two men creating life without a woman.” I had despaired over nothing! We could still beat him! And we could stay alive while doing it!
I finished my spell and felt a strange sensation as Kira and my souls began to merge together once more, restoring what had been rent asunder by accident many thousands of years ago. I stopped being able to tell where I ended and Kira began. And more than that, the world around me began to expand. Where I’d once simply been highly intelligent, I – there was no “we” anymore – had become something more.
“NOW, WE ARE ONE!” I declared as time seemed to freeze around me. No, it hadn’t frozen like it had for Karzoug. Instead, I was thinking so very quickly that it was like I had an eternity to decide between actions, at which point time would move forward in six second intervals, with more eternity between each interval to consider my next step.
It’s hard to describe even now, and I lived it. The best I can do is simple analogies, and they really don’t do it justice.
What’s more than that, time had become only quasi-linear. I could see the sequence of events that led us here as if they were playing before my eyes. A million tiny things changing could have affected the outcome of this. I swear, my mother’s decision to sweep the kitchen one morning back when I was nine actually made a difference here.
In a limited way, this gave me the ability to predict the future. I could predict, with a fair degree of certainty, the probabilities of any number of possibilities. It was like playing a game of chess as a grand master against an intermediate level opponent, in a sense.
But my mind needed to be able to put everything into a context I could understand, so it turned the entire world into some kind of turn-based RPG. It tabulated the possibilities of injury to the point where it could assign everyone Hit Points, even!
My HPs were pretty low, if I’m being honest.
In addition to everyone’s HP, I could see a myriad of things, up to and including Karzoug’s entire list of spells prepared for the day, which was speculative, but was built on everything I knew about him as well as what I’d seen cast today, with what felt like about a ninety percent accuracy. I even accounted for things I’d seen but hadn’t noticed, like Karzoug’s treasure pile shrinking when he’d been in stopped time, which suggested that he’d used powerful ninth level magic to summon the elementals at an insane cost.
The entire world appeared to become a map of five foot by five foot squares, a grid that would allow me to better predict anyone’s movements within the six second windows.
And even stranger still, I could feel something watching us. Three somethings. Not gods. No, something even greater still. Cosmic forces beyond even the power of any god. They could shape our reality to our will, within limits they had set upon themselves.
Almost as if they were just people playing a game.
They were tied to different individuals. One was bound to me, Aurora and Juiz. Another was linked to Lenn, Lenntu and Geo. The third was tied to Paulie, but also seemed to control our opposition. As though he were some kind of cosmic dungeon master.
And I could feel something else: They wanted us to win. Desperately. But they could see what I could see.
We might win, but if things didn’t change, we would still die.
We were set up all wrong. We’d gone in naturally, with no preparation or planning. We should have worked to maximize a rock-paper-scissors dynamic, but had instead simply gone full in, rock to rock and so forth.
So we had to switch our targets. But there was one colossal problem. In said dynamic, we only had one rock. Lenn. And none of the giants was a scissors.
Their scissors was Karzoug. Only Lenn could hope to beat him on a one-to-one basis. If we couldn’t get Lenn over there, our only hope was to throw another pair of scissors at him, and if that happened, he was the biggest pair of scissors on the field and would win.
Okay, that metaphor ran away from me there. But you get the idea, right?
“Lenn! I need you to attack Karzoug! He’s the one who has been behind everything the giants have done!”
“GIANT!” Lenn roared and continued attacking his foe.
Crap. He was stuck in his single-target focused rage. Reasoning wouldn’t work. I had to find a way to get through to him. Something that he couldn’t ignore. But what could that be?
I beseeched the cosmic forces, begging them to intervene. If they acted, then Lenn could be moved. He would do whatever they decided. At least, it felt like that was true. They sent back a sense that it was out of their hands, that the rules constrained them. I felt my hope waning.
And then, like a bolt from the blue, the cosmic force I was connected to sent forth a sense of excitement. He – It? – had an idea. I was amused by the idea as I felt the beginnings of it come through the link between me and the cosmic force.
Yeah. That might actually work. It was the stupidest idea ever, but dammit, it could actually work.
“Lenn!” I shouted. “Karzoug’s first act once he’s free will be to round up all of the world’s prostitutes and put them to death! Then he’s going to outlaw sausage!”
The entire battlefield froze as everyone stopped momentarily to try to process what I had just said. Even Karzoug stared at me, mouth slightly agape, his expression saying, “Just how am I supposed to respond to that claim?”
If the world was a game, at least in my vision, it had rules. Some rules could be bent, others could be broken. And that was the thing about Lenn. Sometimes, the rules simply didn’t apply to him. If he wanted something enough, it simply happened.
One moment, Lenn was standing next to the rune giant. The next, he was gone. He hadn’t teleported. He hadn’t become invisible. No, he had truly and utterly vanished.
Then he reappeared next to Karzoug. “I. LIKE. HOOKERS!” he roared, slashing with his axe. He barely missed cleaving the Runelord in half by a scant few inches. I could feel the cosmic forces cheering.
To his credit, Karzoug tried to convince Lenn that everything I’d said was a lie. But in the state he was in, Lenn would have none of his explanations. He trusted me more than he trusted Karzoug, and I had said that Karzoug was going to do something so vile that it had caused Lenn to forget his enmity towards giants and instead focus on a different threat.
Sure, I felt a little bad for lying, but this was one of those times where it truly had been necessary. I could apologize later, when we were all still alive.
But we weren’t out of the woods yet. We still had a fight to win. And we were still out of position. But I could deal with that. I had experience leading teams in complex fights like this. Sure it was all in video games, but the concept was the same, and I was a very experienced raid leader.
“Aurora!” I shouted, my tone of voice clear that this was a command. “Switch targets! Take the rune giant!”
Aurora disengaged immediately and charged the giant. “Got it!” she answered. “He won’t be trying to enslave anyone else while I’m here.”
“Jack! Finish that giant quickly and immediately target the other storm giant. We’re going to have to leave him unattended until you can get there.”
He let out a sinister laugh. “Oh, two for me? I can’t wait to see what their insides hold.” I felt bad leaving the two that were under the control of others to Jack’s brutal hands, but it was the best tactical choice.
“Juiz, your rocket launcher should be perfect against the dragon. Take him down!”
“Acknowledged,” the AI responded, moving to take a position against the blue dragon.
“Lenntu, these elementals are a problem that your shotgun should be able to solve. Get them off of me!”
“Hah! This should be fun!” the big man laughed as he knocked a fire elemental to the ground with a blow from the butt of his gun, then shot it in the face.
Paulie was all that was left, and his was going to be the most complicated. “Paulie, go Glory and assist Lenntu. Then switch to flame and ignite the rune giant. Juiz will then need your help as BatCat. Lock down the dragon so it can’t stay airborne! After that, switch again and use your big healing magic to mend Aurora from the damage your flame will have caused to her.”
“ON-WARD!” Paulie shouted as he went Glory Mode and moved to help the big guy with the elementals.
I struck the free storm giant with a burst of light, temporarily blinding him. Then I danced my way past Lenntu and the closest elemental and unleashed a hail of gunfire into the elementals nearby. Next, I summoned a Bralani to assist Aurora. And finally, I countered a very dangerous spell Karzoug had tried casting at Paulie when he realized that Lenn could somehow shrug off any magic he threw at the big guy.
The fight lasted six of those six second intervals before Lenn finally landed the final blow. “How?” Karzoug asked as he collapsed to the floor, his organs sliding from the gaping wound to his torso.
The Runewell began to glow and thrum with power as Karzoug’s death upset an already barely-stable equilibrium. “Shield your eyes!” I yelled at the others.
The burst of light filled the room with powerful restorative energy. Even the dead came back to life, all save Karzoug. The Storm giants, freed from the control of the rune giant, immediately seized their larger kin. The dragon, seeing the situation, surrendered immediately to us.
Several of the others hadn’t been quick enough closing their eyes, and were thus permanently blinded by the brilliant flash. I gathered up a large amount of magicite from my pack and used it to fuel a powerful spell that granted my wish, which I used to return everyone’s sight.
The dragon removed Karzoug’s robe and brought it to me. “It is tradition within Thassilon, that the wizard who commands the power to slay the Runelord may take his place. You have shown the power and the will to rule. You would make a worthy Runelord of Greed.”
“You could bring back the old ways,” Paulie suggested. “Before it was twisted into Greed, the virtue of rule was that of Wealth. You have shown great aptitude in transmutation, so none would be able to contest you.”
Paulie’s arguments had merit. But could I really do that? Could I really just help kill a man and take his throne? “Why not you? You were a citizen of Thassilon, while I never was.”
“I’m not a wizard. That’s a much bigger issue here than your citizenship could ever be.”
The cosmic forces were urging me to do it, but there was really only one person whose opinion I wanted. I looked to Aurora. “You could help a lot of people with that kind of power,” she said. “And there’s nothing saying you couldn’t change the way things are done to your liking.”
After a near-literal eternity of consideration, I decided to go with it. I took the robe and used my magic to alter it. It shifted and changed, becoming an elegant black long coat. I removed my other coat and put it on.
“If I’m going to do this, then it’s not going to be Wealth. That was the mistake of the past. Wealth doesn’t matter. It’s what you do with it.” The Seven Virtues of Rule had become the Seven Deadly Sins far too easily. “If I’m going to take Karzoug’s place, then let Xin’Shalast become the shining city of Generosity, a place where great wealth is used to better the station of all the world’s peoples. A place where learning is available to all, where even the common man will enjoy a standard of living far beyond that known today even to the wealthiest of men.
“In a thousand years, all the peoples of this world will have joined us in such an uplifted standard, even while retaining their precious liberty and sovereignty. All will look back at those who lived before, and will never forget their struggle, while knowing that this was the day when the shackles of ten thousand years of brutality were first cracked.
“Let it be known, to all corners of the world, that Xin’Shalast will be the city where freedom and progress at long last take root!” Okay, so it was a corny speech. But those kinds of things are expected during these situations, right?
“I liked it,” Aurora said, seemingly sensing my embarrassment as she took my hand.
Everything seemed so surreal. But the weirdest of all was Lenn. He wasn’t attacking any of the giants. “You okay, big guy?”
“During the fight, you said that the wizard had ordered the giants to do bad things. Was that true?” His voice was uncharacteristically subdued and quiet.
“Yes. I’m not entirely certain that the giants that attacked your village worked for him, of course, but not all giants are bad, and many were only doing what they were forced to do.”
“I will have to think about that. Were these giants just doing what they were told?”
“The two were controlled by magic. Not sure about the bigger one, but he was certainly working for Karzoug.”
“Good. I don’t think I want to fight giants anymore today.” What. I glanced around, worried that the room was going to freeze over at any moment.
“So, what do we do now?” Geo – once more himself – asked.
“Let’s gather up everything we can carry from here. I don’t think we’ll be returning here ever again. While you do that, there’s something I need to do.”
After thanking the cosmic forces, I sat down on the ground, my legs crossed, and dismissed the spell that had combined our souls. I wanted us to be individuals once more. There wasn’t going to be any of that Tuvix crap where someone had to medically murder the new entity to get the old ones back. Being combined was nice, and felt right, but it was lonely. I didn’t want to be “me”. I wanted to be “us”.
And then something went wrong.
As much as we tried, we couldn’t disentangle ourselves. We were in some kind of strange, semi-combined state. We weren’t a single being, but we weren’t two individuals. At some point, I think I screamed, because Aurora rushed to my side.
“Kyle, what’s wrong?”
“Kira and I…combined… our souls…”
“You what?!”
“Needed to do it to… defeat Karzoug… I think… we’re stuck…”
Aurora wrapped her arms around me. “Kyle, listen to the sound of my voice. Calm down and take your time. You can do this. Just come towards the sound of my voice.”
She continued talking for several minutes, the calm tone of her voice infectious. As we relaxed, we were able to take stock and, ever so slowly, we began extricating ourselves from the predicament we were in.
Once more myself, I breathed a sigh of relief and thanked Aurora. “Promise me you won’t ever do anything that stupid again,” she begged, holding me tight. She was shaking with worry.
“I’m hoping it won’t ever be remotely necessary,” I replied, holding her tight. “Especially since I get the feeling that it’ll be even harder to escape from next time. But I’d like to think that one major adventure is enough for a lifetime.”
“Says you,” Kira replied. “As soon as you find a way to get me a body, I’m going to go find tons of adventure.”
“Hush, you,” I responded to my sister.
My little episode had given the others plenty of time to gather up all the useful gear in the room. Once they were sure they had everything worth taking from Karzoug, they even threw his corpse down into the flames.
“There seems to be an effect limiting our escape from here,” Paulie said in his BatCat voice.
“Try casting while you’re touching my gun?” I suggested. “It might allow you to pierce through the magic.”
Sure enough, that worked, and we soon found ourselves back in the material plane, once more within Karzoug’s palace. Wait, no. My palace.
Heh, I owned a palace. Take that, middle school guidance counselor who kept telling me that if I wasted all my time on video games and anime I’d never amount to anything.
Of course, something was wrong. We weren’t done yet. The ground was shaking, causing things to fall from the ceiling above. “Everyone outside!” Aurora ordered us.
“What the hell’s going on?!” Lenntu asked as we ran.
“No idea,” I said. “But the city showed signs of being on a volcano. This doesn’t feel like a natural earthquake, though.”
“The sleeper awakens,” Paulie said mysteriously as we reached the outdoors.
“What?” I asked.
“Mhar, the Old One who sleeps within the mountain.”
“What.” Did he mean “old one”, as in just some ancient being, or “OLD ONE”, like Cthulhu?
I felt the touch of something upon my mind. From the looks the others gave, they felt it too. The dragon and the giants even clutched at their heads and collapsed, as something overwhelmed their minds. And then a voice spoke in my head. A voice that wasn’t Kira, I mean.
“Most curious. There is something shielding your minds, but I cannot quite explain what. And you are the strangest of all. Even protected, madness nips at the edges of the others minds at my touch. But you are different. There is something about your mind that protects you from the madness.”
I recalled my strange conversation with the six-dimensional squid orgy in the Dreamlands. “Yeah, I get that a lot from you people.”
It reached into my mind, sifting through my memories. “I see! Your mind has been touched by the dweller of R’lyeh, and by a fragment of the one who is broken!” What? Cthulhu had been in my mind? Did that mean he really was on Earth?
I assume that the other one he referred to was Samantha. One of these days, I really needed to figure out what she really was. “Cool. Look, Mhar, or whatever your name is. Don’t you think it’s a little too early to wake up or something? Surely the stars aren’t right yet, or whatever. Why don’t you hit the snooze button on this whole thing and try waking up again in an aeon or two?”
“I believe I will enjoy digesting you for all of eternity, once this world has become my thrall. Do not worry, though. Once I have broken through your defenses, you will enjoy it as well.”
Yeah, I wasn’t into vore. “Anyone have any ideas how we kill a mountain?” I asked.
“HIT IT REALLY HARD!” Lenn suggested.
“Yeah, we’ll file that as plan B.” I shouldn’t joke. This was Lenn we were talking about. It could actually work. But I was terrified and if I didn’t joke, I’d panic.
No one else had anything. Well, almost no one. “You don’t remember this,” Kira said over the speaker, where everyone could hear. “But in the land of the dead, you kinda made a small star. If we could tap into that, then that might be enough to take down this thing.”
“I did what now?”
“You killed an army of daemons by forging a small star with your mind and hitting them with it.”
I blinked. “Well, yeah, I guess that’s probably a better plan than anything I can come up with. But I can’t do that now. No idea how I did it.”
“I think you’ll remember it after you kill yourself.”
“I have to do what now?”
“It’s only death. Paulie, how much diamond dust do you have?”
“After looting Karzoug, brah?” the tiefling responded. “Enough for like, four major resurrections, I think?”
“And would you be okay, as long as I promised I’d be right back?” I asked Aurora.
“Yes. I think so. As long as you return.”
It was a workable plan then. I could only see one problem. “But if we die, won’t we just end up back in the afterlife? What good would that do us here?”
“Well… there might be one way we’d be strong enough to resist the pull, at least long enough to stop this thing.”
It took me a few seconds to realize what she meant. She couldn’t be serious. But she was. “And Samantha doesn’t have any suggestions?”
“I haven’t been able to reach her. It might be a temporary side effect of earlier.”
Crap. Of course. “Does anyone have any other options?” I asked. Everyone shook their heads. Aurora still didn’t seem to have figured out what Kira meant. “Okay. I hate this plan. But it’s the only thing we’ve got, and the entire world is at stake.”
More than the entire world, potentially. Golarion was rumored to be the prison for Rovagug. If Mhar’s presence somehow eventually allowed him to get free, it was possible that the entire universe would be doomed. So, I really didn’t have any choice.
I spoke some of the most painful words I’ve ever had to speak. “Geo, please restrain Aurora. She’s not going to like what I’m about to do.”
Realization dawned on Aurora as Geo grabbed her. “NO!” she screamed.
I began casting the spell that would recombine Kira and me into a single being. Aurora begged and pleaded for me to stop, but I couldn’t. There was no other way. It had to be done.
I finished the spell and time stopped… but nothing had happened. The world grew dark as night, and I couldn’t move, or even speak, except to Kira and only within our brain. “What’s this?” I asked.
“I don’t know,” Kira replied.
Then I heard a voice. “The moment I warned you of has come. Do you accept the pact, knowing that it will cause you great pain?”
Samantha? I couldn’t move my head, but I could see her within the edge of my vision. But who was she talking to? Surely she would have been in front of me if she wanted to talk to Kira or me.
“YES!” Aurora begged. “Please. Just save him!” What the hell was going on?
The sky was filled with light as a strange moon appeared above. I struggled to move, to stop Samantha from doing whatever it was she was going to do to Aurora. “Kyle! Stop!” Kira said in our mind. “Please, trust me! I think it’s going to be okay. Samantha would never hurt any of us.”
“Then what is she doing? And why Aurora?”
“I don’t know… Oh.”
“OH?! OH WHAT?!”
“She told me that she wanted to become your child’s godmother. This is what she meant.”
“Kira, I’m losing all patience. What is she doing?”
“I’m not entirely sure, but I think that’s a Paleblood Moon.”
A what? “Kira, speak plainly. What is going on?”
“It’s a message, to let me know what’s she’s doing. I think she’s going to alter your offspring.”
“HOW?”
“I don’t think she means to make your child less human. He or she will be something more, instead.”
“More?!”
“I think your child is going to be something like a Great Old One.”
“How can he or she be human, yet also a Great Old One?!”
“I don’t know.”
“Give me one good reason not to stop it now.”
“Besides the fact that I trust Samantha? How about the fact that you can’t stop it? Aurora has already made the decision.”
Crap. I watched in horror as the stars wept, their light coalescing around Aurora and everything became darker, except for the light of that strange moon. Aurora screamed in agony as the light and then an equal measure of shadow moved through her.
Everything returned to normal and Aurora’s cries died down, but before time resumed, I heard a voice in my ear. “Don’t worry, it’s just the blessing of the stars and the cosmos. They’ll both be fine.”
“You and I are going to have a long conversation about this later,” I said to Samantha through clenched teeth as time resumed. But she was already gone.
And I couldn’t cast my spell anymore. I had forgotten it, somehow, and I had the feeling I’d never be able to figure it out again. Not that I could have cast it with an angry wife holding tight to me like that. How on Earth were we going to stop Mhar now?
Then, Geo answered my question. “Master Kyle! Look!” I turned to where he was pointing and saw a single golden beam of light streaming through the clouds about twenty feet from us.
At the base of the light was a golden sign. A Sunbro was offering his help. What the hell?! “Kira?!” I asked.
“It’s not me this time!” she protested.
“We need to touch the sign,” I said, not knowing what else to do. I made my way over, Aurora sticking next to me all the while – afraid I was going to try that spell again, maybe? – and reached down.
As soon as I touched the sign, I heard the familiar sound of a Dark Souls summon appearing, and the form of Samantha rose up from the signature, wreathed in golden light.
“WHO IS THAT?” Lenn asked.
“An old friend,” I said. “I think.”
Samantha just smirked.
“Can she help us?” Lenntu asked.
Samantha shrugged, then reached out and touched my forehead. Immediately, I felt her voice within my mind. “I cannot stay long in this solid a form without attracting attention. Even with Mhar here. But you already have everything you need, from the wards I stole from that meddlesome moth to the power of friendship. All I needed to come here to do was to show you how to use it.”
“Wards? What?”
“Desna thought she could bind Mhar here even if he awoke, so she warded the entire mountain. Six wards, each with a fragment of her power. She was wrong, of course. He would have broken free even if they had slowed him a bit. So I stole their power and delivered it to you, quietly, and in a way you’d recognize.”
“The ponies!” I gasped.
“Exactly. And now you only need to follow these instructions.”
“And do what, exactly?”
She gave me a slasher’s grin. “You’re going to… KILL…. the Mountain.”
And then she was gone. But I had the information. “You’ve got to be kidding me!” I shouted.
“What is it?” Aurora asked.
“You’ll see in a moment. I have to cast one more spell.” She eyed me suspiciously. “Not that one. A different one.” I turned to Paulie. “I’m going to need a bunch of that diamond dust.”
“Sure, brah. What do you want me to do with it?”
“Dump about a third of it in a pile here,” I pointed, indicating a flat area of stone. “Alright, stand back for a second.”
“Righteous,” the tiefling said, stepping back. Once he was clear, I cast my spell, fabricating the diamond dust into an insanely intricate spell circle and then solidifying it into the rock itself as a single, solid diamond.
The circle was divided into six pieces. Inside each, at the center of the wedge, was a symbol, with each wedge having a different symbol. “Lenn, I need you to stand here, on the Balloons.” I pointed as I spoke. He seemed like he was going to ask me what a balloon was, but he understood what I meant. “Lenn, you represent laughter. The ability to chase away all fear with nothing but a hearty chuckle at the darkness.” As he stood upon the mark, a glowing sigil shaped like a balloon appeared on his forehead.
I then took Aurora and had her stand upon the Butterfly. “What does this one mean?” she asked.
“Aurora, you represent kindness, the words of a friend that wash away all burdens.” Next was Geo, who stood upon the rainbow. “Geo, you represent Loyalty, the conviction to do whatever it takes to be there for those you care about.” I then had Lenntu stand upon the Apple. “You represent Honesty, the truth between friends that fosters trust.”
“Which am I, brah?” Paulie asked.
I motioned towards the Star. “Paulie, you represent the Magic of friendship, the bond between everyone.” I noticed something out of the corner of my eye. The Steward of the Skein was there, watching us curiously. I couldn’t afford to dally. I stepped upon the Diamond. “I represent Generosity, the willingness to give for others, to friends and friends to be alike.”
The circle glowed as I entered the last point and magical light swirled around us. Mhar’s voice spoke in the air around us. “You think you can win?”
“We already have,” I said.
As I spoke, the swirling lights enveloped us and drew the sigils from our foreheads. Then the light shot into the clouds and disappeared. “That was it? You disappoint me. I almost thought you had some kind of actual plan,” Mhar gloated.
I replied with only four words. “Firing Orbit Friendship Cannon.”
From the sky above the mountain came a cascading rainbow. It struck the mountain with an intense amount of power, and I’m pretty sure the impact was felt as far away as Magnimar. It was possible that the light show was visible as far as the planet’s curvature would allow.
Mhar’s voice screamed in pain and then was silent, and the Old One was no more, the threat ended once and for all by the power of friendship and his soul, or whatever it was he had, dragged to the halls of Pharasma by her herald.
We made our way back to Chadwick’s base camp, where we were cheered and welcomed by everyone. Morgiv was surprised to learn that I had taken the mantle of Runelord, but seemed cautiously hopeful when I told him my plans for the interim government and where I was leaning for the long term version. It didn’t hurt that I was appointing him to the city’s ruling council to represent the common folk, along with Chadwick as the Voidstrife representative and representatives to be appointed by Magnimar and Absalom at a later date.
That night, once we were alone, a tearful Aurora finally revealed her pregnancy to me and told me about the pact she had made with Samantha. It was much as I’d been told. Samantha would become our child’s godmother, and what she had done had indeed been some kind of blessing, but an adult’s body couldn’t handle that kind of power flowing through it, supposedly. Hence the pain.
Samantha swore upon it when we spoke to her a few days later. She apologized for not telling me, but Aurora had asked her not to, since she didn’t want to tell me about the pregnancy until after we’d dealt with Karzoug. I let it lie for now, but I would watch our child carefully.
We also decided on a name for our kid. If he was a boy, we would name him Conor, after my grandfather. If she was a girl, she would be Lyriana, named after Aurora’s maternal grandmother.
Lenn told us that now that we were done, he wanted to settle down and make sausage and hang out with hookers. His words, not mine. I suggested something a bit more, and he loved the idea. So it was that the first chapter of the Adventurer’s Guild was founded in the city of Magnimar, with the blessing of the Lord Mayor. It was a place where adventurers could get together, learn from each other and take on contracts from people all around.
Lenn became the guild master and head chef. He hired a large number of prostitutes to run the guild building, which was something like an inn or boarding house. He seemed to love the idea of taking young adventurers under his wing.
Paulie talked with the Pathfinder Society, and they were very interested in assigning a team to travel with him to old Thassilonian sites in search of more information about his past. One of the Rangers went with him, hoping to find more information about the fates of the other Runelords. We definitely wanted to stop them before they could manage to return, if at all possible.
Geo disappeared one night, leaving only a note that said, “I apologize, but I must depart to fulfill my end of the bargain. Please keep an eye on Lenn for me. I sincerely hope that each of you has glorious and joyful lives.” I made a note to assign a Ranger team to search for him and keep an eye on him. The Cult of the Dual God could become a problem one day.
Lenntu seemed at a loss as far as what to do, so I offered him command of the Rangers, which he accepted. He suggested that he work with Lenn to keep an eye out for any adventurers who showed promise and recruit them. I liked it and gave him my approval.
Viorian Dekanti, the woman who had been controlled by the sword, was grateful to us for saving her. Especially Ayruzi. Upon learning what I had become, she was wary at first, but as she learned more, she decided that she would give me a chance to see what I would do as a Runelord.
She then asked if I would be willing to help her seek out the other Runelords. She wanted to find them and end them before they could do to anyone else what was done to her. So I offered her a position with the Rangers, which she accepted just as soon as I explained their mission.
As an aside, I’ve noticed in the weeks since then that she and Lenntu seem to be in the beginnings of a romance. Good for them. They both deserve happiness.
At Ayruzi’s offer, Aurora and I traveled to Elysium – the plane of freedom and righteousness – and spent a few days having a true and proper honeymoon in a cottage beside a beautiful lake. While there, we met another few of Aurora’s celestial ancestors, who were extremely happy to learn the news of Aurora’s pregnancy.
Before we left, I took the opportunity to track down a band of Azatas and hired them to come to Xin’Shalast and hunt down anything remaining in the city that could be a danger to the common folk. While they weren’t big on any kind of authority, they seemed to like that I was thinking of the safety of those who couldn’t protect themselves and were thus completely willing to come to my aid.
All the while, I spent time studying Karzoug’s spell book. It was an amazing find. Inside was every spell whose existence I’ve ever heard of, as well as a number that no one had even speculated could exist. But most importantly, he had the spell I needed, the one that would allow me to go home. And since I was the one casting it, I could travel back and forth pretty much at will, which meant I could take care of my duties here while still spending most of my time back on Earth.
We made sure everything was in order and left instructions for while we were gone, then Aurora and I prepared to teleport. “Will we be arriving at your parents’ house?” Aurora asked. She seemed nervous to meet them.
“No. It could be a problem if I suddenly appear out of nowhere. Especially if they’ve sold the place. But I know somewhere secluded where we can arrive. And if it’s early enough in the day, maybe I’ll show you around Tucson for a bit before we head over, since I imagine they’ll still be at work.”
Back when I was in the hospital, I found this secluded little area just outside the building. No one went there, so I would go there for some seclusion when I’d had enough of doctors or nurses bothering me. It would be the perfect spot to teleport to, and I knew it well enough that we could teleport there straight away.
It had been at least ten years, maybe more. But it was finally here. I would see my family this very day. But I’d been through so much. Would they even recognize me? Would they be mad I had been gone? Or would it be as if I’d never left? I was terrified. But I had Aurora with me, and I knew that would never change. I could do this.
Times have changed and times are strange
Here I come, but I ain't the same
Mama, I'm coming home
Mama, mama, I'm coming home
I'm coming home
I'm coming home
I'm coming home
The first thing I noticed when arriving was the rubble, and the fragments of police tape. I looked around, and even from where I was I could tell that something big had happened. There were signs that there had been an explosion here. Maybe less than six months ago, if I had to guess.
I heard a twig snap behind me, and heard a voice. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the glint of metal from some kind of handgun. “Hands where I can see them! No sudden movements. Tell me now which side you’re on or I swear I will blow your head off!”
What the hell?!
At long last, the final chapter of the main story is complete. Only took years. :P
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Argh. My other post got eaten and I want to go make food, so this'll be short.
Basically: There were a lot of things in that last entry which have been planned for a LONG time. The "I LIKE HOOKERS!" thing, for instance, was planned in some form since SESSION 1. And the ultimate spell(I had a write up on it in the eaten post) has been planned since before the first time Kira was mentioned.
On the other hand, Kyle becoming Runelord was something suggested by the GM at the last minute, so obviously Lyriana never mentioned it in any of her write ups. So that just means Kyle and Aurora never told her.
All I have left now is the Epilogue, which involves Kyle and Aurora making it to his home, where they find civil unrest, political strife, half a world embroiled in war and discover something that shocks Kyle to his core.
Also, they apparently
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That was fun.
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This was absolutely magnificent and fun.
If PAIZO won't pay you to publish it as a novel, that means they are soulless beings ;)
Cannot wait for Epilogue.
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BTW will there be Epilogue or should I read Miss O'Mallory Winter diary to get it from background, cose I'm bit divided - whether to stary reading it before end of AWiG.
BTW will there be Epilogue or should I read Miss O'Mallory Winter diary to get it from background, cose I'm bit divided - whether to stary reading it before end of AWiG.
You know, I should probably upload that, huh?
I've got it mostly complete(on the "Distant Future Epilogue" now). Let me finish uploading my numbers for work and I'll see if I have anything on my Google drive already I can upload.
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Epilogue 1: Back in Black
He was bluffing, or simply mistaken. I estimated that there was a ninety percent chance that Aurora could have him disarmed and on the ground before he got off two shots. And there was only a five percent chance that he would hit either of us with more than a grazing wound in the process – no problem for someone with a dozen healing potions in his bag.
But the shot would be heard by others. And again, we’d probably be able to take them easily, but it would draw unnecessary attention. If possible, I had to talk my way past this. But how? I wasn’t sure what he meant by “Black Bloc”. The term sounded familiar, but was he really talking about the same Black Bloc I was thinking of? It was a possibility, and if so, I could easily talk my way past it, but what if I was wrong?
I could play ignorant. That would work if I had a good reason. I certainly couldn’t just tell him I had been on another planet for a decade. Play off as a foreigner, maybe? That could work, but the slight twang in his accent suggested to me that he might not be amenable to foreigners. Still, it was the best idea. And there was one nationality that I figured would be safe.
“Pardon me, sir,” I said in a calm, British accent. “I’m afraid I’m not sure what it is we’re accused of being. You see, our motorcar broke down a few miles from here and my mistress’ cell phone seems to have a drained battery, and even if we were able to do so, I seem to have misplaced my billfold, so I could not pay for a taxicab if we were able to flag one down.”
“Then what are you doing in this area?”
“We were walking back to our hotel, but it’s so very hot, so when we saw the shade over here, my mistress decided we could rest here for a few minutes.”
The man considered for a moment, then lowered his gun. “Yeah, it his pretty damn hot. What’s up with the coat?”
“Well, sir, as a butler, it would be unthinkable to be in public without being fully dressed.”
I waited until he looked away for a second and quietly activated my bracers, changing my clothes to a fine suit and my coat into a traditional tailcoat. I also activated my hat to change my features, which turned the hat into a ribbon tied around my short scholar’s ponytail. When he turned back, he seemed surprised at the change, but ended up assuming he was mistaken about what I had looked like before.
Because there was no way I could possible have changed, thus I must have always looked like this. I could get weeks of enjoyment out of screwing with people via change blindness.
“Oh damn. You poor bastard. Come on, this place isn’t safe. I’ll help the two of you get back out of the no go zone. I’m John,” he said, holding out his hand.
I shook his hand. “I’m Sebastian. And this is Lady Sofija, wife to my master, Lord Victor, second son of the younger brother to the Earl of Clarendon.” He would never look it up. But still, I wanted to make sure. “Juiz,” I said through my telepathic interface, “as soon as you’re able to get onto the internet, please edit any information on Wikipedia to confirm the existence of such a person.”
“Acknowledged,” Juiz responded in my mind.
“Dear, if anyone talks to you, I need you to pretend that you don’t speak much English,” I said in Taldan. “Pepper in a few words here or there, but act like you’re still struggling with it.”
“What are you playing at?” she asked.
“I’m not sure. But let’s try to be consistent until I figure out if this is a good idea. At the very least, it should give us a way to hide your unfamiliarity with some Earth related topics.”
“What language was that?” John asked.
“My pardons, but Lady Sofija doesn’t speak much English. That was Croatian.” Odds were high that wouldn’t be a language he had any familiarity with.
“Croatian?”
“It’s from a small country in Europe, near Hungary and Serbia, just across the Adriatic Sea from Italy.”
“Oh! Near Italy!” His excitement suddenly turned somber. “Damn shame what’s happened to Europe.” Wait. What was going on in Europe? Had the world gone mad while I was gone?
We needed to find somewhere I could think for a bit, where Juiz could get onto the internet and do some research. “Excuse me sir, but Lord Victor told us that there was a restaurant we had to try while we were here. He said it was his favorite place to visit when he was here, visiting his old university chums, so Lady Sofija has been quite keen on visiting it. Perhaps you could point us to it? I asked at the hotel, and they refused to answer me, for some reason.”
“Well, I could sure try, mister Sebastian. What’s the name of this place your master has given such glowing praise?”
“I believe that it was called, oh heavens, what was it? Oh, yes, ‘Taco Bell’, I believe it was. We were driving in search of one when our motorcar broke down.”
The man laughed. “Sebastian, you’re alright in my book. There’s a Taco Bell not too far from here.”
“Truly? Then if you could give me directions, or perhaps the address, I shall be able to fulfill my duty and take the mistress there just as soon as I retrieve my billfold from our hotel.”
“I’m sure you’re both hungry,” the man said, pulling out his wallet. “Look, here’s twenty bucks. That will more than cover both of you.”
“That is not necessary, sir.”
“I insist. Think of it as doing my good, Christian duty, helping folks in need. It’s what Jesus would want me to do.”
“Then I would not want to offend and will gratefully accept. Might I inquire how I might contact you to repay you later?”
“It’s unnecessary. Just pay it forward. Help out someone else when you have the opportunity.”
“I most assuredly will. Thank you.”
Aurora and I began heading to the Taco Bell, and on the way I had Juiz begin working to secure us some funds. Even if inflation hadn’t had much effect while I was gone, twenty bucks wouldn’t get us far. The problem was doing it both legally – or at least, not stealing money from anyone – and in a way that wouldn’t draw attention to us.
The first option was to try to access my secret foreign bank account. Yeah, I had one of those. I’d set it up during my time where Samantha had sent me to the past. Only problem was that the bank no longer existed, somehow. Crap. I’d been worried about that. Oh well, that’s why I’d only put a couple grand in there.
Next, I had Juiz check the existence of my regular bank accounts. Surprisingly, they were still there, but they were set up with a number of high level trips. Even inquiring about them had likely set off a number of alarm bells somewhere, though I had no idea where. I was tempted to have Juiz track the trips and see who was watching my money, but I couldn’t be completely sure they wouldn’t be able to trace her back to us, and with my current uncertainty, I couldn’t risk it.
Even if my accounts currently held a cumulative seven billion dollars.
Yes. Billion. With a B. And I had thought I was just rich on Golarion. So much for what I thought I knew. But how had it happened? As far as I could figure, either my trading orders had been more lucrative than I had thought, or my patented technology had been successful beyond my imaginings. Maybe both.
In the end, we settled for Bitcoin mining. Juiz would pose as an absurdly powerful conventional rig and mine at a rate that should get us a couple grand by the end of lunch. Then we could access a Bitcoin ATM – I don’t remember those being a thing when I left, but they were apparently a thing now – and get it out in cash.
In theory, we could have just had Juiz mine at full speed, but that would have drawn way too much attention, and we shouldn’t need nearly that much money. Especially since an ATM couldn’t possibly have that much in it.
We arrived at the Taco Bell, and my nose was filled with familiar scents. I examined the menu for several moments. “What should I get?” Aurora asked in Taldan.
“It’s mostly all the same thing,” I said, maintaining my British accent. “That’s the secret. There are just one or two things that are really different like… huh.” I flagged down an employee. “Excuse me, sir, but I cannot seem to locate any Doritos Locos tacos on the menu.”
“Doritos what now?”
What. “Doritos Locos tacos. They’re like regular tacos, but with a shell made out of Doritos.”
“I’ve never heard of those. Let me ask my manager.” He turned to the back. “Hey, Jorge, do we have any Doritos tacos or something like that?”
“Doritos Locos tacos? Naw, man, we haven’t had those in five years.” Oh dear God no. No. No no no no no.
<Don’t you think you were being a little melodramatic?>
<Hush, you.>
“Why do you ask?” the manager asked his employee.
‘This customer was asking about it.”
“You hadn’t heard we’d discontinued them?” the thirty-something year old manager in the impeccably clean uniform asked me.
Aw crap. I’d need a good reason not to know. “My pardons, sir, but I haven’t been to the States since I finished my time here at Uni. Many a night of studying was passed with nothing but a cup of tea and a twelve pack of tacos shared with my mates. I had so looked forward to trying them once more. A pity. What would you recommend then, gentlemen?” My accent was nowhere near good enough to fool actual British people, but I wasn’t too upset with it. It would pass here among my fellow Americans in the desert southwest.
“The low carb steak nachos are pretty good,” the register clerk said.
“What are those?”
“It’s like a Nachos Bell Grande, but with wedges of crispy fried steak instead of chips. Get it without the beans and it has only one carb per serving.”
That… sounded weird. But then again, what at Taco Bell didn’t? “Very well, gentlemen. We shall have one of those and two of the number sixteens.” At least the basic tacos and bean burritos probably wouldn’t have changed.
Or, at least, I hoped not.
While we ate, I popped up my holographic computer interface and began browsing the web, trying to learn what the hell was going on and what precisely had happened while I was gone. First, I did what everyone does when they’ve been off the internet for a while and ran my own name through a search engine.
Oh boy, I probably should have started with a less confusing topic.
I had become a part of modern mythology. In releasing the technology for the O’Halloran Battery right before disappearing, then others over time while gone, I had captured the imagination of a culture. My tech had revolutionized the way we looked at much of the world, and it hinted at tantalizing new possibilities to come. In a world that needed it, I had become a symbol of hope, the king in the mountain who would one day return to liberate my people. A modern American King Arthur, which was a laugh since I had known the real Arthur in a past life and he was kind of a douche.
Just like Bigfoot, everyone knew someone whose cousin or friend claimed to have seen me recently. There was a standing bounty of ten million dollars for photographic proof that I was still alive. There were memes. My face was on T-shirts.
Also, there was a movie about me. A feature length movie. It was in theaters. And I had no idea who the actor was that played me, but apparently he was in the live action Rick and Morty movie that came out a year later, which killed his career.
Despite being a number one box office draw its first weekend, the plot was a mess. It was based on one of the theories for my disappearance, one that involved me being recruited by some shadowy government agency to work on some kind of secret project to colonize Mars or the moon or something. Like I said, it was a mess.
And that was one of the more sane theories. There were actually people who believed I’d disappeared because I’d gone to some adult version of Hogwarts, or that I had somehow created some kind of virtual world and had gotten sucked into it like some kind of anime. And, of course, there were the “abducted by aliens” proponents, who actually weren’t entirely wrong if you think about it.
And then there were the internet shenanigans. Apparently it was so common for people to pretend to be me online that it was common practice on many online boards to lockout the ability to create a username that matched my old Twitter handle – which was the same as my PSN ID – or variations of my real name.
But if you thought the stuff around me was what bothered me most, I have to tell you just how wrong you are. You see, I’d been gone a bit over eleven years, from March 2014 to August 2025. Only a bit more than a decade.
And in that time, the world had gone insane.
The first couple years weren’t too bad. There were a few events that seemed to come out of left field, but nothing too weird. It wasn’t until sometime in the second year of President Trump’s term – yeah, that revelation shocked me a little – when people began losing their minds in earnest.
It wasn’t clear who had struck first, but when the dust cleared, the US was in the middle of a low-key civil war, with roving bands of Anti-Trump forces – “The Black Bloc”, as they called themselves – fighting what was more or less a violent gang war with the Pro-Trump coalition – which called itself “The New Patriots”. Somewhere between a third and half of the nation was on one side or another, with another third actually supporting one side but not getting involved. The man we’d met upon arrival had probably been one of the New Patriots, and from what I was reading, we’d been lucky that he had been such a chill guy. Neither side had a monopoly on extreme violence.
After four attempts on his life, the President had to go into hiding. After that, the US had no president, as several candidates were simply assassinated during the campaign. The job fell to the next in line, with the Speaker of the House effectively just being handed the job after each election. He did his work from a secure bunker, and I can’t exactly say I blame him.
With the US too distracted to do anything, the rest of the world had lost its collective mind. North Korea had invaded the south. Russia had annexed Ukraine. China had invaded Japan – anime production was nonexistent, dammit.
There was constant strife in Europe, with terror attacks multiple times a week and several nations openly skirmishing at their borders. And if that didn’t beat all, the European army – how the hell was that a thing? – led by Germany, had invaded Poland for some reason I was still having trouble understanding.
South America was plagued by drug cartels warring openly in the street, sometimes even assuming de-facto control of entire nations. And don’t even get me started on the renewed pace of fighting and genocide in parts of Africa and the Middle East.
I’ve mentioned only two factions in the US trouble, but there were several others. Most were just trying to protect their communities against the predations of the larger groups, but there were others trying to figure out what had really happened and find a solution to reunify the nation.
One of these was a group that called itself “The Gamer Uprising”, and had had its start in the days before everything had gone to hell. I knew a few people – at least in passing – involved within it, so I might have been inclined give them more of a benefit of the doubt than I might otherwise.
Hell, one of them had been at the paintball event when I’d left with Samantha. I think he was the leader of the other team, actually.
They had a secret board, hidden within the Dark Web, where they discussed what was going on and searched for a pattern. And surprisingly, they had found one. Each piece of evidence was flimsy on its own, but together they made the case that someone, possibly an organization, was behind everything. And this wasn’t goofy conspiracy level stuff. It passed the sniff test.
I was really irritated when I found them, mostly thanks to everything else I’d seen. So I had Juiz hack into their system – there was almost no encryption in existence that could even slow Juiz down very much thanks to the wonder of quantum computing – and give me access to the account they’d created with my Twitter handle. Then I posted something, first in Draconic – they had managed to figure out that it was me who had translated the Voynich thing – then in English.
“I leave you people alone for a bit over a decade, and when I return this is what I find? A world in chaos? Well, that ends today. I am going to figure out who is behind this, and I’m going to put a stop to it, one way or another.
“I was looking forward to relaxing and enjoying all the new anime, but now you tell me there hasn’t been any because you people couldn’t hold in your spaghetti for a single decade? What the hell.
“This era of unchecked rage and strife WILL end and we will regain our future. This I swear to you.”
It took less time for someone to respond than it took for me to finish my bean burrito. “Holy crap. The Voynich language checks out. I think he’s the real deal!” one of the board’s moderators had posted.
Another, who went by the handle “BasedFishGoat”, which I recognized as being the one who had led the effort to figure out who was behind everything, posted the lyrics to a song from a game, because these were still gamers, and thus, still dorks. My people.
We drink to our youth, for days come and gone
For the Age of Aggression is just about done
We'll drive out the Stormcloaks and restore what we own
With our blood and our steel we will take back our home
At which point, he got into a nerd fight with someone going by the name “AegisofAquarius” about whether they should be using the lyrics to the mirror song, “Age of Oppression” instead.
“I wonder if the fact that those are both zodiac names means something,” Kira said in our mind.
“No idea. Those seem to be the only two users there who have names that relate to the zodiac, unless a name with a play on melanoma is somehow an allusion to the sign Cancer,” I replied silently.
I made a show of hooking the speaker that wirelessly connects to my telepathic interface to my computer, in case anyone was watching, then pretended like we were doing a VOIP call, so that Aurora, Juiz, Kira and I could chat as I filled Aurora in on what was going on. Luckily, there was no chance anyone here would know Taldan and eavesdrop.
After I explained everything, Aurora raised a question. “Won’t what you’ve done just feed into people’s perception of you as some kind of savior?”
“At this point, it might be necessary,” I said.
“How’s that?”
“Look around,” I said. “We’re two individuals with non-local accents, dressed in strange clothing. Granted, the clothes I made for you before the trip are more or less Earth standard, they certainly have elements inspired by Golarion, and obviously scream that you have wealth. And I’m in a full butler getup. People should be staring at us.”
“Would they really?” Aurora asked.
“Absolutely,” Kira said. “Kyle’s right. Americans are a curious people. They should be staring, and asking what brings us here.”
“But they’re not,” I continued. “Instead, they’re intent on eating quickly, and seem beyond skittish. If you get up too quickly, at least three people nonchalantly put their hands on their guns, ready for trouble. They look exhausted and terrified. And if what I’ve read is to be believed, it’s probable that this isn’t an isolated thing.”
“So what do we do?” Aurora asked.
“For now? We find an ATM, secure a vehicle and we find our family. Then we begin finding a way to fix things.”
Before I closed the computer, I decided to post one last thing, interrupting the continuing argument and speculation. It was singing, a remembrance of the words that those people in Magnimar had sung, created by using the telepathic interface to record my voice without speaking.
Shadows fall, and hope has fled
Steel your heart, the dawn will come
The night is long, and the path is dark
Look to the sky, for one day soon
The dawn will come
No. I had decided that more than these people, but the whole world needed something good, hope in these dark times. I wasn’t sure if I could stop the fighting, but I could bring some hope. And right now, that would be good enough.
“Please,” I posted. “I need your help. I need you to spread the following two messages: ‘Dawn is coming.’ and ‘Praise the sun.’ Do not mention me, but if at all possible, I need everyone in America, or the world if possible, to have seen at least one of those two phrases within the next twelve hours, if possible.”
“You kidding?” responded BasedFishGoat. “We once argued so hard about pineapple pizza that it got national attention. And we were just playing around. We’ve got this. It’s good to have you back.”
As we went to the ATM, Juiz tried to find information on my family without hacking into governmental databases, since we didn’t want to risk revealing our location until we knew more about what was going on. Aside from really basic stuff, it was hard to find. It was almost as if someone was hiding the info.
Well, there was one option. My father’s shop was still open. And it wouldn’t be too out of place for a butler to walk into a tailor’s shop, so we could bypass anyone watching him fairly easily.
Finding a taxi that accepted cash was a bit harder than expected, but we managed. And less than an hour later, we were standing outside of “Thus Bespoke Zarathustra”, a high quality traditional tailor’s shop in a shopping center near downtown. And boy was it being watched.
“I’m counting six people outside the shop watching it,” Kira said.
“Eight,” I responded. “The two men over at the café seem to be paying attention, and one of them has a camera in his lap.”
“Why a camera?”
“Paparazzi?” I answered, only having a guess at this point.
“What do we do?” Aurora asked.
“We go in like nothing’s out of the ordinary. Follow my lead. Juiz, check for any kind of bugs while we’re inside.” Of course, I wasn’t sure if we’d be able to do anything about laser microphones, but I had magic that would allow us to chat privately even if that was the case. Or at least, I would have if I had thought to prepare it. But now it was too late to go sit down with my spellbook, we were already here.
We entered the shop and were greeted by a voice from the back room. “Greetings, folks. I’m just finishing up the last touches on another customer’s order and will be right with you.”
“Take your time, sir,” I responded, maintaining my British accent even now. “It will be some hours before we can check into our hotel rooms, anyway.”
We looked around the shop, which was just as I remembered it, for a couple minutes before an older gentleman in impeccable attire came out to greet us. The years had not been kind to my father, who had aged considerably in the decade I had been gone. He looked at least five years older than he actually was, his hair having gone fully gray and wrinkles having formed where his brow had been oft-furled in worry.
“Now, how can I help you this fine afternoon?” he asked.
“Well, good sir, I have come in because my things were lost during our flight from England. It would not be fitting for my mistress to be served by a butler in unwashed clothing, so my mistress decided most graciously that we would seek out a shop where I could rectify this situation. It was much to my delight when I discovered that there was an establishment such as this in the city we were visiting.”
“Well, then, let’s get you measured,” he said with a smile. “What brings you all the way to Tucson, Mister –“
“I am called Sebastian, good sir.”
“Call me Michael, Sebastian.”
“Of course, sir.” Like hell I was calling my father by his first name.
“And what is your name, miss?” he asked Aurora.
I gave her a subtle nod. “I am Aurora,” she said.
“Like the Northern Lights? A lovely name for a lovely young woman. So, tell me, what brings you to Tucson?” he asked as he began measuring me.
“I have come to escort the mistress to meet the master’s family.”
“Is he an American?” he asked. I could tell he already had minor suspicions about our story. It was likely he’d been dealing with paparazzi for some time, so I couldn’t blame him.
“Yes sir, though he does hold several foreign titles as well.” I listed off several of my titles in Taldan. “I’m afraid that most of those do not translate well to English.”
“I must admit, I am curious that a man with such prestige would have his family living here.”
“Retirees,” I deflected. “It is much warmer here than back in Europe, you see.”
He laughed. “I can understand that. Though I must admit that it isn’t the safe place it used to be.”
“That is quite alright, sir. His man, Percival, remains with his family to keep an eye on them.”
My father’s eyes grew wide and he gave me a questioning look. I nodded in response. “I see,” he said. “With a knightly name like that, it is certain that they will be fine.”
“Quite true, yes. Though, I sensed that there was something personal in your voice when you called this place unsafe. Tell me, if I do not overstep my bounds in asking, but has something happened to someone you know?” I had to ask, but I was terrified of the answer.
“Have you seen the hospital?” he asked.
“Yes, it was quite surprising to see all that damage. What happened?”
“My daughter was a surgeon there. She was working the day of the terrorist bombing. She’s a good person and a wonderful mother, and now she’s lying at home, dying of radiation poisoning because some bastards wanted to kill some politician who was there visiting a family member.”
I mouthed the word “Katie”, and he nodded. It was all I could do not to dash out of there that instant. “Radiation poisoning? Was it a dirty bomb?”
“No, I don’t think so. Investigators say that the bomb broke some containers in the hospital and she was exposed.”
“I see.”
We continued making small talk for some time while quietly passing back bits and pieces of information. I confirmed that my parents still owned their house, and that Katie was there, along with my other two sisters and possibly Kenneth – I still refuse to call him Ken – but that the place was being watched by the FBI for some reason, though they maintained only perimeter and aerial surveillance. Which meant that if I could get to the front door without being seen, we’d likely be okay.
And that I could do. I just needed to prepare a spell or three to do it. “Pardon me, sir, but may I use your lavatory? We ate at some place called ‘Taco Bell’ for lunch, and I fear that it is not agreeing with me.”
“Sure thing. I need a few minutes to log your measurements and pull up my program so we can decide on which style of suit to make for you.”
I headed to the restroom and prepared what I needed, all the while faking sounds of distress in case one of the bugs was close enough to listen in to the bathroom. Afterward, I washed up and headed back into the shop. My dad and Aurora were making small talk when I returned, so I hid and listened in.
“You’re going to be a mother?” he was asking her. “You seem quite young for that, yet.”
“I have seen twenty five winters,” Aurora protested. “Many girls from my home have children much younger.”
“Do you love the child’s father?”
“With all my heart,” she answered. “Though I must admit, I was surprised to find it thus. It snuck up on me, bit by bit. I only finally admitted to how I felt after he was in an accident. I thought he had died, and I was so scared that I proposed marriage to him moments after I learned he was safe.”
“I assume that he accepted your offer?”
“He made no secret of how he felt about me. In truth, I suspect that he knew how I felt too, but even then, those few seconds were agonizing as I waited for his response.”
I carefully went back and shut the door loudly, to let them know I was coming. “Pardon me, mistress, but I have just noticed the time. It appears that our errand has run long, and if we do not hurry, we may miss our scheduled meeting.”
“But we haven’t decided on your suit,” my father protested.
“Good sir, I can see from your shop that you are not only a consummate professional, but a man of impeccable taste. You have my measurements and know my profession and needs for the suit. I shall trust your judgment in this matter. Along with my deposit, I shall give you my business card. Please call me when you are done and I shall return as soon as time permits to retrieve my suit. Actually, you had better make that two suits. I fear the weather here will necessitate more frequent washing than I would like.”
“Of course, that will be fine.”
Along with the money, I handed him a blank business card, on which I had written, “Don’t worry. Katie will be okay. I can save her.” Immediately after he read it, the magical ink faded and I saw him nod, a single tear in his eye.
“Now, mistress, shall we be off? I fear that cabbie will get bored of waiting and run off, regardless of how much we gave him to wait.”
“Of course, Sebastian,” she said. She then shook my dad’s hand. “It was very nice meeting you, sir.”
“You as well, dear girl.”
After a few blocks, just as we were sure no one was following us, we suddenly found the intersection we were at surrounded by several military vehicles. Soldiers poured out and were looking around, trying to find something. “That can’t be a coincidence,” Kira said.
“Agreed. Please put your vehicle in park,” I told the cab driver. “I suspect we aren’t going anywhere until they finish what they’re doing.”
He did so. “Well, then I guess we get comfortable and…” then he was asleep, knocked unconscious by my spell.
“Juiz, fry his camera’s memory. Aurora, we’re teleporting.”
“Right!” she said, grabbing ahold of me as I cast the spell.
Note: In case you were wondering, no, I have no idea how the Dark Web works. But, as a writer, that doesn't necessarily mean anything.
Anyway, I have a couple more parts already written(I think), but I haven't put them on my drive. I'll upload another tomorrow if I remember. Either way, I'm hoping to have finished the epilogue before we start yet another campaign*(ADD, I swear) in a couple weeks. And, at some point, when I get bored, I want to write up BasedFishGoat's story(the beginning is concurrent with our Reign of Winter campaign, but set on Earth), as his story reveals a little more about what happens to Earth and the truth of the Twelve(Kyle talks about it in a later part of the epilogue, but kinda glosses over it).
*Carrion Crown, same GM as Runelords. No one related to anyone from either other campaign, though my character will have met someone from Runelords.
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And if that didn’t beat all, the European army – how the hell was that a thing? – led by Germany, had invaded Poland for some reason I was still having trouble understanding.
Damn. So I brought this doom by my own wish.
Greetings from Warsaw :D
And if that didn’t beat all, the European army – how the hell was that a thing? – led by Germany, had invaded Poland for some reason I was still having trouble understanding.Damn. So I brought this doom by my own wish.
Greetings from Warsaw :D
If it helps, Poland fares fairly well in the alien invasion that I won't mention further due to spoilers. Compared to most other places, anyway.
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Epilogue: Unmarked Helicopters
“I’m not sure,” I said. “But I’m guessing someone heard something we had tried to hide and called in reinforcements for some reason.”
“So we rate a military response? Because that didn’t look like just the FBI.”
“Have we done something wrong?” Aurora asked.
“Not that I know of, though I do suspect that the government will have more than a few questions about where I’ve been since it has been national news. But I would think that would have warranted a Mulder and Scully, not an entire armored platoon.”
“We should probably knock before someone gets suspicious,” Kira pointed out.
She had a point. I knocked. “Pardon me,” I said in my British voice, in case someone who wasn’t a member of the family was inside, “but our motorcar seems to have broken down a couple miles back, and my cellular phone doesn’t seem to be getting any reception out here. Could we trouble you for use of your telephone and perhaps a glass of water?”
I could see someone peering through the peephole, then the door opened a crack. My brother, Kenneth, stood there in the uniform of a local sheriff’s deputee. His long mop of hair had been cut short and I still had several inches of height on him. I gave him a beatific smile, then he peeked out, making sure it was just the two of us. “Yeah, sure. Come on in.”
We walked in and Kenneth shut the door behind us. We’d made it no more than three steps before I heard a voice. “Keep your hands where I can see them and no sudden moves!” I turned my head slowly and saw Molly standing there, a gun in hand and looking very much like she was cosplaying as Dana Scully, hilariously. Another glance revealed that Kenneth had his gun out and trained on Aurora.
“Now, this is certainly not how I had expected this to go.”
“Tell me about it,” Kira responded.
“A radio?!” Molly said. “Who do you work for?”
“Work for? Dear girl, I believe you have made a dire mistake. Lower the gun or I will become most cross with you.”
“I am the one in charge here! Look. I don’t know how you got past the agents watching the perimeter, but this is as far as you go. Now you can either leave here in cuffs, or you leave in a body bag. Understand?”
Before I could answer, a child of three suddenly ran into the room, dragging a teddy bear behind him. “Aunt Molly! Percival wants ice cream!” he shouted with glee in the way only small children can.
“Maggie! I told you to keep him in the other room where it was safe!” Molly shouted angrily.
“Sorry!” a young woman with long hair in the same O’Halloran color said as she rushed out and snatched up the child. As I got a better look, I noticed that she was wearing a Playstation t-shirt. The boy screamed in annoyance, flinging his teddy bear randomly.
I grabbed the bear out of the air and looked at it. It was just as I remembered. “Pashibaru, old bean, I asked you to watch over everyone, but when I get back I find you lying around on the job, asking for ice cream. Just what am I going to do with you?”
He didn’t answer. He never does.
“Put the bear down!” Molly ordered.
I was finally annoyed. “Lower your guns, you idiots,” I said, my voice normal. “I come from halfway across the galaxy to see everyone, and all you can do is point guns at me? I guess on the upside, at least Mike isn’t here.”
“You aren’t going to fool me, wizard!” Molly shouted.
What. She knew I was a wizard? How?
I was answered when she began casting a cantrip, one that would reveal magical auras. She almost dropped the gun when she was done. “Holy crap! I’ve never seen so much magic in one place! They’re glowing like a Christmas tree!”
“Do we shoot them?!” Kenneth said, his voice showing the strain of nerves.
“Aurora,” I said softly.
“Understood,” my wife replied as she stepped into Kenneth, disarming him and driving him to the ground in a single motion.
Meanwhile, I flicked my wrist and the magic rod I’d taken from Karzoug appeared in my hand. Instantly, I used it to quick-cast a spell, causing every one of Molly’s non-autonomous muscles to lock up, preventing her from firing or even moving.
I pulled the gun from her hands, popped out the clip and ejected the chambered round. “I don’t have time for this,” I said, reaching up and pulling the ribbon from my hair and undoing the disguise in the process. “Maggie, if you can be good, I won’t be forced to cuff you too,” I said as I restrained Molly’s hands with a zip tie taken from Kenneth’s belt.
“Is it really you?” my youngest sister asked, her face showing shock and disbelief.
“Yes. I came here immediately after Dad told me that Katie was ill. I think I can help. So just sit tight and I’ll be back in a few minutes.”
“I’ll keep an eye on them,” Aurora said. “Go take care of your sister.”
“I’m going with you,” Maggie said.
I shrugged. “As long as you promise to behave.” I went to Katie’s room and felt myself hesitating as I reached for the door. “Why is she here?” I asked my youngest sister.
“The hospitals aren’t safe, and at least here she has me, mom and dad to take care of her. Ken lives nearby and Molly can visit often.”
“What about the kid’s dad?”
“He’s in the military and was deployed. Things have been crazy since you’ve been gone.”
“Yeah, I’ve been getting that feeling. Let’s get this over with.” I opened the door, and what I saw physically hurt.
Katie, my long time protector and absolute hero, looked frail and broken by her illness. Even seeing her like that caused the child in Maggie’s arms to start crying. And I couldn’t blame him. I wanted to cry too.
“That bad?” Katie asked me, her voice quavering with exhaustion.
“I’ve seen worse,” I lied.
“I’m glad you made it, before the end.”
“Don’t talk like that,” I said. “You’re going to be fine.”
“You always were a poor liar,” she said, the soft laugh causing her to cough, blood spattering her hand. “It would take a miracle, and the world doesn’t have those anymore.”
“They just weren’t fashionable,” I said. “But you know me, I’ve never been one to follow fashion. Now rest. I’m here to make you better.” I began casting a spell, summoning forth a tall being with white-feathered wings who glowed with an awe-inspiring inner radiance.
“Kyle!” Maggie exclaimed. “Is that...”
“An angel, yes. His time here is limited, though.” I indicated Katie, who had been struck speechless by the celestial’s presence. “She is very ill, can you heal her illness and undo the damage it has caused?” I asked.
The angel studied her and then nodded. “I can and will.” He cast his first spell and Katie instantly looked like the pain she was in had ended. He then cast again, undoing the damage the ravages of the radiation had caused.
“Thank you,” I said to the summoned creature. “That was all I needed. I do not wish to keep you from your duties any further.”
The angel nodded and then was gone. “Did that really happen?” Maggie asked as I helped Katie sit up.
“Does it matter?” I replied. “All that really matters is that Katie is well. Also, I probably violated a few rules letting anyone else see that. So pretend like you didn’t.”
Katie reached out and took her son from Maggie. “Thank you,” she told me. “But I’m surprised Molly let you waltz in here and cast any magic.”
“She didn’t,” Maggie said. “Kyle and his wife kinda beat her and Ken up and hogtied them.”
Katie hit me on the shoulder. “Kyle!”
“Molly started it!” Kira protested over the speaker in my defense.
“Wait, is that your wife?”
“Eww!” Kira responded.
“That’s… a long story,” I said. “Let’s just say for now that I’m not the only one of your siblings coming home today. I don’t want to have to repeat the story too many times, so let’s at least go let the others know that you’re okay so I can explain it all at once.”
We returned to the living room to find Molly demanding that Aurora release her and Ken sporting a visible bruise from where he hit the ground when Aurora had taken him down earlier. “What’s going on here?” Katie, who I only at that moment realized was wearing a Snuggie, asked.
Both Kenneth and Molly looked at her in shock. “Wait, did he really help you?” Kenneth ended up asking. “Does that mean he really is…?” He stared at me in amazement.
“I am, whatever you say I am,” I sang at him. “If I wasn't, then why would I say I am? In the paper, the news everyday I am. I don't know, it's just the way I am.”
Katie laughed. “Answering with a random song? Definitely Kyle.” She looked at me. “Do we really need to keep them tied up? I think they’ve learned their lesson.”
“If they’re willing to behave, I don’t mind. But be warned, both of you, that I used my last paralysis spell I had prepared, so if you try pulling a gun on me or Aurora again, I may be forced to use something a bit more painful.”
“Katie’s up and looking better,” Molly said. “I still don’t know if I can believe that you are who you claim to be, but that’s enough for me to be willing to listen to what you have to say. But the first thing I want to hear is how you made her better.”
“Oh my god!” Maggie exclaimed as the awe had finally finished washing over her. “I wish you had seen it! There was an angel! He did some kind of spell or whatever, and then there was an angel there, and it healed Katie!”
So much for keeping quiet about the angel thing. Hopefully Essielle wouldn’t be too angry with me for that one. “I’ve never heard of someone being able to summon something that powerful,” Molly said.
“Yeah, about that,” I said. “We’re going to need to talk about how you know anything about magic, since I thought Earth didn’t have any, but first things first. I want to introduce you to the three lovely ladies with me.”
“Three?” Katie asked.
“You’ll see. First is Aurora, my amazing wife.” I then introduced Aurora to all of my siblings.
“So, when’s the baby due?” Maggie joked.
Aurora’s eyes went wide. “I-Is it obvious already?” she asked, looking at her stomach.
“Wait, you really are?” Maggie said before smacking me on the shoulder. “I knew you’d knock up some girl and then get her to marry you.”
“Nope,” I said. “You got the order wrong. She insisted we wait.”
“You got Kyle to wait?” Katie asked. “What are you, some kind of angel?”
Aurora, who was clearly flustered and worried about making a good impression on my family, stumbled over her words, trying to find a way to answer. I put my arm around her. “She didn’t mean it literally, but you might as well go ahead and show them.”
“Show us what?” Molly asked, suspicious. Aurora materialized her wings, her skin glinting like steel. “Holy crap! Kyle! What the hell?”
I laughed. “That’s enough, dear. They get the point and I’m sure they’re going to have a million questions later. But it’s time to introduce the other two.” I paused for dramatic effect. “Juiz, please say hello.”
“Greetings. To answer all immediate questions, I am an Artificial Intelligence created using adapted alien technology. My ‘brain’, as you’d understand it, is a specially designed quantum ‘Blue Box’.”
“I’m afraid to ask, but who created you?” Kenneth asked.
“I was created by Kyle O’Halloran to assist him in his fight with the Runelord Karzoug.”
I cut them off before they could ask. “Hold off on anything about Karzoug for now. That’s a very long story.”
“It’s nice to meet you, Juiz,” Katie said, preventing the others from asking other questions for the moment.
“Likewise,” Juiz said.
“She’s so polite,” Maggie said. “You sure you created her?”
I stuck out my tongue. “Anyway, there’s one more person for you to meet. And there’s a reason why she’s the last one. I needed you to meet Aurora and Juiz because the strangeness of their existence is probably going to be a lot less shocking to you than meeting the final person here.”
“Kyle, I don’t know,” Kira said in our mind. “Should I really meet them? I mean, what if they don’t like me?”
“You’ll be fine,” I said aloud, drawing a few strange glances from the rest of the room. “Okay, so how many of you know about my twin sister?” I asked.
“Your what now?” Maggie asked.
“You mean Kira?” Katie asked. “I know only that you had a twin that died in childbirth, but Mom and Dad hadn’t told me much else.” I could see by the looks on the others’ faces that they hadn’t heard anything about it.
“Right. Well, it turns out that her body died just before we were born, but her soul kinda… hitched a ride in my body. She was sleeping, more or less, but started waking up when the stress of everything we were going through started.”
“You sure you weren’t just going crazy?” Kenneth quipped.
“I thought I was, then I died and she was there with me in the afterlife.”
“Now I know that you’re nuts.”
I gave him a look. “Angel wife. AI created using stolen alien technology.” We weren’t going to even go into discussions about Samantha today. This was already hard enough.
“Okay, fair point. But you died?”
“I got better,” I said in my best attempt at a Monty Python impression. “Anyway, Kira, say hello. Or actually, maybe I have a better idea.” I had a thought. “Want to switch?” I subvocalized.
“You think that’d be okay?” she asked on the speaker.
“I’m sure it’ll be fine. Also, you said that one out loud.”
“Crap!”
“I’m going to cast a spell,” I told the others. “It lets Kira take control of my body temporarily. Give me just a sec.”
“Hi,” Kira said, speaking from the mouth of our now female body. “I’m, um, your sister, I guess.”
The next few minutes were emotional. Everyone was crying and hugging. Except for Juiz, but you know, everyone with emotions. All in all, it was a bit weird to watch. And I was pretty sure it was just a preview of how this would go when I introduced her to our parents.
Once we’d switched back and everyone was finished wiping eyes and blowing noses, Molly cleared her throat. “Kyle, I need to bring you in,” she said. “If you come in with me, I think I can convince everyone that you’re genuinely not the wizard behind everything.”
“You think a wizard is at fault for everything?” I asked. I mean, that had been one of the theories I’d seen on the gamer board, but I’d dismissed it almost reflexively. Kind of hypocritical more than a little stupid for a wizard to assume there was no way there was a wizard behind everything, now that I think about it.
“Yes. Our agents have found plenty of evidence to suggest it, but we haven’t been able to find him or her yet.”
“Alright, well, I’m happy to try to help find whoever is responsible. I have a particular set of skills that should make me a nightmare for someone like that.” Also, I had a burning curiosity as to who might have that kind of magic on a planet where I thought none existed. “Maybe I can do it in exchange for fast-tracking Aurora’s immigration status so I don’t have to hack into any governmental databases.”
“I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear that. We should get going before the satellites detect you and a response team is dispatched.”
“You have satellites that can detect magic?!” Things were way different on Earth than I’d suspected.
“Yeah. They aren’t terribly sensitive, so you normally have to zoom in and focus on a narrow area. But with the amount of magic you’re carrying, I’d bet you’d bee a lot easier to spot. Let me just make a phone call so my boss knows you’re back and coming in with me and we can… huh.” She was staring at her phone.
“‘Huh?’”
“I’m not getting any signal.”
I had a really bad feeling. “Aurora, armor up!” I shouted as I quickly cast a spell, creating a wall of force next to the house’s outer wall. Aurora spoke the word of power, and adamantine plates folded out from her pendant, becoming armor once more.
I heard windows shatter in several parts of the house, but the wall of force blocked entry – and possibly tear gas – with several angry voices shouting in surprise as they hit the nearly invisible wall. As they did so, I pulled out the portable hole and unleashed the robotic armor. “Prioritizing protection of civilians,” Juiz said as she took control of the suit.
“We have the house surrounded!” a woman’s voice said over a megaphone. “Wizard, come out with your hands up or we will use deadly force!”
“Is this one of those response teams you talked about?” I asked my sister.
“Yes, probably.”
“Juiz,” I said, “can you cut through their jamming so that Molly can make a call out?”
“I will require a large antenna.”
“Will the house’s electrical wiring do?” It’s a trick I learned from TV, okay?
“Affirmative.”
“Get to it. I’ll buy us some time.” I cast another spell, allowing me to project my voice without a megaphone. “Am I being detained? I’m a sovereign citizen and this is private property! As pursuant to the Articles of Confederation, I am allowed to freely travel without restraint by any force of the state or federal governments!”
Kenneth’s eyes went wide. “Are you insane?!” I winked at him.
“That doesn’t even make sense!” the voice on the megaphone yelled back.
“No, what doesn’t make sense is for there to be some sort of task force that would use preemptive force against a US citizen just because they happen to have magic! I don’t recall reading about an amendment that supersedes the Fourth! I demand to speak to a lawyer, my congress member and my senator! Also, while you’re making phone calls, you should let the media know too. The people have a right to know what their tax dollars are funding!”
I took a look outside, and sure enough, it looked like the same military force that had swarmed that intersection. They must have been flooring it to get here so quickly. Pretty good operational discipline to be able to get everything set up before any of us noticed, though.
“You don’t get to make the rules here, no matter who you’ve taken as hostages!”
Hostages?! “Lady, you’ve got it way wrong! The people here are hostages to you if anyone. I was simply visiting my family! You’re the one who busted in with guns ablaze!”
“You expect us to believe that?! Look, maybe we can try, but you’re going to need to come out here and surrender.”
“Kyle,” Molly said. “I told my boss about you and she’s agreed to hear us out, but you have to surrender. As soon as the jamming is down, she’ll tell Agent Lopez about it.”
I still didn’t trust the woman outside, but if Molly thought it was best… “I’m coming out!” I opened the door and stepped out, hands in the air. I made it two paces before someone opened fire and I was torn apart by the extreme overkill of a thousand bullets.
Thank God I’d sent an illusion out first.
“Tell your boss what just happened,” I said to Molly. “Let her know that I’m pissed off and will be coming in on my own terms only. And tell her I’m sorry for any concussions any of her agents suffer.”
“Kyle, don’t!”
“If those bullets had pierced the force wall, they could have hit any one of you. I will not allow anyone to take actions that might endanger my family without reprisal. Don’t worry, no one’s going to die, but I want them to understand that some things just aren’t okay.”
“What do you want me to do?” Aurora asked.
“If anyone makes it in here, cut them down.”
“You can’t go alone.”
“I’m not. Juiz, take the pizzicato and switch to the rubber bullets, then use those to lay down suppressing fire. Don’t let anyone rush the house.”
“Shall I use the antenna to project some kind of music to all of their radios?” Juiz asked.
“Track eighty seven,” I said with a grin. I then cast a spell, conjuring up five Bralanis. “The people outside are not bad people,” I told the outsiders. “But they are misinformed and thus a danger to other good people. I need you to neutralize them without killing them. Be careful of the flying machines, they will crash and explode without a pilot.”
The celestials nodded and shifted into their gaseous forms before rushing out to begin the fight.
I began singing along with the music as I teleported outside.
Women to the left of me
Women to the right
Ain't got no gun
got no knife
Don't you start no fight
'Cause I'm
T.N.T.
I'm dynamite
T.N.T.
And I'll win the fight
There were six of us outside versus at least three dozen government agents, and the agents never stood a chance. The only thing that even slowed us down was the fact that the Bralanis needed to force the pilots to land – also, for the record, those were Comanches! What the hell kind of danger did they think I was?! – before knocking them out.
I shut off the jamming devices and headed back inside. My sister handed me her phone. “She wants to talk to you.”
“Hello,” I said into the phone.
“That wasn’t necessary.”
“Oh, but it was. I tested the waters and sent out an illusion. They immediately shot it. I needed to show them that was an error.”
“It’s going to complicate things. There are people who think all unregistered wizards should be shot on sight to try to stop things from getting worse.”
“I understand that you seem to think that I’m behind everything bad that’s happened in the last decade, but you’re mistaken. I’ve been on another planet the whole time. I definitely want to talk, and if there’s a wizard behind everything, I’m uniquely suited to helping you stop him. I have experience with that kind of thing. But you’ll have to understand that I’m a little hesitant to just come in at the moment.”
“If you can prove that you were gone, it should help alleviate a lot of fears on our end.”
“I could take a team picked by you with me to the planet I was on. They could talk to anyone I know there if that will help. Though… I guess there’s another way to prove I’ve been off planet that won’t require we go halfway across the galaxy. And you’ll be able to confirm with absolute certainty that we’re off world. But it’ll take a bit of effort on your part.”
“I’m willing to listen. What will we need to do?”
“Contact NASA. Ask them how many space suits they’re willing to loan you.”
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After getting off of the phone, Aurora and I said goodbyes and I teleported us away. Then I took precautions to hide our magical auras before altering our appearances. Now that I knew it existed, I wasn’t going to let a magic detecting satellite sniff us out.
Then I teleported us again – I had prepared a lot of teleportation magic while I was in the restroom – and we arrived in another city I had visited once when I was younger. We were invisible, so no one would see us arrive.
The first thing I did was fabricating some fake IDs, then we stopped by a Walmart to get some prepaid cards to use to rent a hotel room. Truthfully, I could have just conjured the magical mansion again, but I couldn’t get wifi in there and still had work to do.
We got a modest hotel room with a decent view, pretending to be newlyweds on our way to Vegas for our honeymoon who were staying at the hotel because our car had broken down and was in the shop for a day or three. Sure, it wasn’t the best room, but it was free of bedbugs and they gave us a free pint of ice cream as congratulations on our wedding. So, that was nice.
While Aurora studied as much as she could about Earth, I put Juiz to work preparing a video for upload while I did some more research on what had happened while I was gone. If there was a wizard at fault, I needed to find him. Not only had he screwed up the world, but his efforts had likely been what had forced me to reveal my magic to the damn government. And that annoyed me.
He would rue the day he annoyed me. RUE, I say!
I contacted the gamer board and asked them to keep an eye out for patterns that suggested that one or a small number of people was behind everything, and to compile as much information as possible. I hinted that I was working with the government to set things right, but that I didn’t entirely trust them either.
Once that was done, it was time to make my announcement.
The video Juiz was making was full of images from my memories. They came in flashes, but they were real. Nonetheless, anyone who saw them would assume they were CGI. Because no one could have seen the things I had seen. No one could have traveled the stars upon the back of a shantak, none could have seen stars the way I had.
Then Juiz added the voiceover, recording my words carefully and precisely to be played alongside a quiet and profound melody.
“When I was young, I looked upon the stars and wondered. With great fascination, I studied great thinkers, I pored through science fiction and science fact, to learn more about our place in the universe. But it was a television show where I first heard and understood. The molecules that make up our bodies are the same as those that make up our planet, that make up everything, and these molecules were forged within the hearts of stars.
“We are made of star stuff. We are the stars’ children, the universe made manifest, trying to understand itself. And until this day, we were indeed mere children. But the time comes when children grow up. A time when parents look in awe at their children and realize that they have grown, and see that not only are they adults, but have, in the same way as their parents, created children as well.
“We are children of the stars, but so too, shall we be parents.” Juiz switched the video, replacing it with my memory of crafting Voltron’s heart. “The time of childhood is over. Now, in our hands, we hold the dawn of a new era.” The image displayed the micro fusion reactor as it powered on, as a star was born in my own two hands.
“Praise the sun.”
Juiz then hacked into my old Youtube channel – which had been locked but preserved after my disappearance – and posted the video.
It took less than an hour before the media firestorm hit, thanks to the gamers making the video go viral. Not only were people shocked to learn that I was still alive, but they were excited to speculate about what I had seemed to suggest, that I had solved fusion.
By the time we decided to go to bed, it was literally all anyone on the web seemed to be talking about. The changes wrought by my other technological revelations – none so world changing as the batteries, but all impressive – had prepared everyone for this in a way I wouldn’t have suspected possible. They knew that if I said it was possible, it had to be so.
I had done what I’d set out to do. I had inspired hope. But I knew that if there was someone behind the madness in the world, this might set back his plans. He would have to make a move, and soon. But I was counting on that. I just needed to find him, and then we could end this, once and for all.
The next day, I checked in with Molly – teleportation and a burner phone in use to prevent my location from being found – and she confirmed that they had secured several space suits. She also told me that several government agencies not in on the whole magic thing were running around like chickens with their heads cut off at the revelation that not only was I still alive, but that I had promised the world fusion technology.
We set up a plan to do the big reveal the following day. I even gave them the coordinates for the meetup as a sign of good faith. I could always scry the location before teleporting in, and I’d already put in a few cameras so I could watch out for shenanigans.
I spent the afternoon in secretly meeting with the boards of energy companies via the internet – it’s amazed me just how quickly I could gain the ears of those at the top – so I could explain to them that they had two choices at this point. Either get on the fusion bandwagon, or get left in the dust. Some were hesitant, but most were willing to listen. They knew that the allure of the sexy new technology and a few well placed ads would kill coal plants on a national level. But that wasn’t to say coal was finished as an industry. I had a few ideas for it that didn’t involve burning it for power.
After my meetings, I headed to Golarion to secure the mithral I would need to craft the first small scale fusion reactor, which would be capable of powering a city once it was up and operational. It was going to cost an arm and a leg, even at the discount that Queen Velandhrathal offered me, but that wouldn’t be a big deal for the Lord of Xin’Shalast.
Speaking of which, things were going well there. My council reported that the Azatas I’d hired had cleared out sixty percent of the city’s dangerous areas and crews had already begun setting up proper homes in several safe districts. So that was nice.
Back on Earth, I secured a location – okay, so it was a barn, but it had what I needed, seclusion, privacy, space and a modicum of security. Once there, I conjured my magical workshop and began work on the parts for the reactor. Once done, they would be able to be transported easily via portable hole and assembled just about anywhere in a few hours. And it wouldn’t take me all that long to craft them, maybe a couple days of work.
The next morning, after a well-earned rest, Aurora and I set out to meet the team of soon to be astronauts, as well as a team from NASA who would be doing final checks on the suits before we left. In fact, they were already checking out two of the four people when we arrived.
“I should warn you, that if you’re planning on going anywhere in the depths, that these aren’t rated to a very high pressure,” one of the NASA crew was telling the leader of the team.
“I don’t know where we’re going,” the dark skinned man replied. “You’ll have to ask him,” he said, pointing at me.
“I want it to be a surprise,” I said. “Suffice it to say that high pressure won’t be an issue. As long as they’re okay for low pressure or vacuum, they’ll be fine.”
“We didn’t bring you a suit,” the lead said. “Are you not going with us?”
“Oh, I am, but I have other options that don’t require a suit. Did they give you an encrypted transmitter like I asked?”
“Yes. It’s pretty long ranged, too.”
“We can boost it if it’s not sufficient. It’s the encryption that’s important. Don’t want anyone intercepting what we say.” Of course, Juiz could encrypt it better, but then no one would be able to decrypt it on this end.
“What are we going to say?”
I flashed a trollish grin. “Telling you would be a huge spoiler. Now, everyone finish suiting up and let’s get going.”
My second arrival upon the moon didn’t involve flying in on a shantak. Instead, we just appeared there after I cast my spell. I’m not sure if it was cooler getting to see the sights as we flew in or if the fact that I could now go whenever I wanted for the hell of it was the cooler part.
I held out a folding shovel. “Underneath the space blanket over there is a camera. Assuming it was protected enough from radiation by the regolith and blanket, it has pictures from my first trip here,” I said over the radio.
“W-We’re on the moon!” one of the people managed to stammer.
I sighed exaggeratedly. “Alright, fine. I’ll give you a few moments to process all of this.” While waiting, I activated the long range transmitter. “This is Major Tom to Ground Control. Do you read me?”
A few seconds later came the reply. “We read you, uh, ‘Major Tom’. What’s your status?”
“Everything’s green and nominal. Retrieving package. Have you triangulated the location of our signal yet?”
“We’re doing that now… uh holy shit, that can’t be right. I need to speak with Colonel Jepsen.”
“The colonel has gone a bit catatonic at the sights. Would you like to speak with the second in command? I think she’s the one digging the hole at the moment.”
“Um, patch her through.”
“This is Captain Gomez.”
“Captain, confirm location.”
“We seem to be on the moon, sir. We’re at the site of one of the lunar landings and are currently retrieving a package allegedly placed here in twenty fourteen.”
“Placed by who?”
“Um, ‘Major Tom’, sir.”
“Understood. Quarantine team is standing by to receive the package. Excellent work, Captain.”
“Thank you, sir. Sir, may I ask a question?”
“Go ahead, Captain.”
“Sir, why haven’t we sent anyone to the moon in decades?”
“That’s above my pay grade, Captain.”
“Understood. I’ll have to write a letter to the next president, letting him know just how beautiful it is up here, sir.”
The voice on the other end laughed. “You do that, Captain.”
After the camera was retrieved, I let them play a bit. Because when you’re on the moon, sometimes you just have to enjoy it. After about an hour, we teleported back, but not before getting a few new pictures to commemorate the whole thing using my cell phone.
A team indeed met us and we were immediately ushered to a tent remove our outer layer of clothing as per quarantine policy. I wasn’t going to do that, so I got them to agree to let me keep my clothes – there’s a lot of magic in them, okay? – but only after I cleaned them up with magic.
After that, I had a meeting with those in charge of dealing with magic threats. Apparently my little field trip to the moon had convinced them at least enough to talk with me. The man in charge was definitely more dubious about me, but the other man seemed pretty hopeful. So that younger man, John Sinclair, was assigned as my liaison with the department.
I saw good things in his future. He had a go-getting attitude, and he still had his sense of humor, which I’ve heard is rare in government.
By the end of the meeting, we had set up a tentative working relationship. I would be allowed to go about my business so long as I had my department liaison and another agent with me while meeting with anyone important. And they would unfreeze my bank accounts, giving me access to world-moving levels of wealth.
In exchange, I would use my skills and resources to help them uncover and locate the person or people behind the mass destabilization of world order. I also offered to help advance the US military by at least half a century in order to give it the ability to reassert order once the interference of the hidden mage was ended.
Of course, that latter wasn’t for free. I would need a lot of mithral to make all the Fairy Steel and mithracite I would need, and it would be a lot of work. But if I could deliver what I’d promised, the military was definitely interested and was willing to pay a fair price. Especially in the new Night Witch strategic fighter/bomber Juiz and I had designed.
A plane that could travel anywhere on the planet in less than an hour, had inertial dampening and ran on a much cheaper fuel than current jet fuel definitely had its advantages. And that’s before you added in the weapons based in part on alien technology and an array of powered wand crystals that could fire an infinite stream of ultra-precise force bolts.
And, of course, I would still be working on converting much of the planet to fusion power. So I had signed myself up for an intense workload. I knew I’d be working my butt off in the following weeks, and maybe months. But I also knew that the world would be a much better place by the time our child was born.
So it would all be worth it. But first, I had a wizard to find.
A note about the chapter title:
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Epilogue: Unintended Consequences
“Kyle, I don’t think this is a good idea,” Agent Sinclair was saying to me.
“There’s something I’m missing. There’s something you’re missing,” I argued. “We need to bring in another set of minds on this, to see if they can find the pattern we’re not seeing.”
“I understand that. But a bunch of gamers?” He definitely sounded dubious at the thought.
“Who better to spot patterns than people who have trained themselves to find patterns for fun?”
“Fine, but a video meeting? What if someone tracks this to your location?”
“I hope they do,” Aurora said dangerously from the bench where she was polishing her blade. “I don’t like waiting like this. I’d much rather we find them so we can stop them.” She had been learning not only about her new world, but had seen just how things had gone wrong. She was, in truth, taking things harder than I was.
“Sorry dear, but they won’t,” I said. “Juiz will mask our location just fine.”
“Fine,” she said, playfully rolling her eyes at me and pouting. “I’m going to the gun range.”
“I don’t know why,” I responded. “You can already shoot the wings off of a fly at fifty meters.”
“Maybe, but what if I only want to shoot one of its wings off?” she said, kissing me.
“Fair enough. I’ll let you know how the meeting goes.”
Once she was gone, Sinclair gave me a look. “That is one intimidating woman,” he said with a laugh.
“And you’ve never seen her stare down a demon,” I replied.
“Demons are real?”
I shrugged and gave him a sly smile. I wasn’t entirely certain how much I should be telling people about that kind of thing here on Earth. “Let’s get this show on the road. I promised them I’d boot up the session right about now.”
“Session loaded and ready to activate,” Juiz responded.
“Excellent work.” I logged in and was greeted by the images of a dozen silhouettes. Only I was visible, dressed as Genji Ikari via the magic of real time image filters. I tented my fingers in front of me. “Greetings, gentlemen. I have called you here because I need your help.”
“Name it,” responded the voice of AegisofAquarius, which sounded like a young woman’s voice.
“I’m trying to find a lead on the person behind much of the bad stuff going on right now. And I’ve hit a wall. I know I’m missing something, but I can’t find the pattern.”
“We’ll do our best,” BasedFishGoat, who sounded to be a man in his forties, responded. “Do you have anywhere for us to start?”
“Unfortunately, some of the data I have is classified. What I can tell you is that there are definite traces that someone or a small group of someones is behind this. I’ve forwarded every bit of information I can share to each of you. I want you to look over it, and compare it to things going on in the world. Anything you find out of the ordinary, no matter how insignificant or crazy sounding, please share it with me.”
“I have a theory,” AegisofAquarius responded.
“Oh god, not this again,” someone else groaned.
“I don’t see you suggesting anything,” she sniped back.
“Please, tell me,” I said, trying to head off the fight. “Like I said, no matter how trivial or far out, your input could make the difference.”
She took a breath, sounding like she was afraid to speak. “I think a wizard’s behind everything,” she said.
“What,” Kira responded flatly in our mind as I saw Sinclair’s eyes go wide.
“What makes you think that?” I asked, doing my best to hide my reaction.
“My mother’s aunt was an archaeologist. She uncovered a trove of artifacts on a dig in England. One of those documents was a journal.” Oh crap. I didn’t like where this was going. “I think it got her killed. And what happened to her body… the papers reported it was a cave in. But I saw it. I was the one who found her and her team. That was no cave in that did that. There were barely even any rocks on the ground around the corpses. And they looked like they’d been hit by lightning.”
“You have my attention,” I said. “Can you tell me anything about the site? Or what she was working on?”
“She believed that she had found the burial site of an ancient princess. She actually believed the woman was an elf, and the cousin to the mythical Guinevere, if you can believe it.” Oh god.
“Your aunt’s name… was it Elizabeth?” I asked, already knowing the answer.
“How did you know?” she asked, sounding surprised.
“I spoke with her once,” I said. “I’m not sure how to say this, but… I think I may be at fault for her death.”
“What do you mean?”
“I translated something for her. She may have had other material she didn’t tell me about, and my translation may have given her what she needed to translate the rest.” Nothing in the document I’d copied from her even remotely spoke about the location of the Fairy Blacksmith’s tomb. Hell, the whole thing was written by her. Why would she have known that information? Or, more aptly, why would I have known that information, since I now realized that I was the reincarnation of the woman in question?
And why would finding my tomb have led to the deaths of those involved? No, she had to have found something else. “I see,” she said after a moment. “Don’t worry, I don’t blame you. But if you translated something for her, then maybe you can translate this?” she asked, posting an image. “I took it at the dig site, before the medical examiners and eventually a bunch of men in black suits showed up.” I gave Sinclair a look and he just shrugged. I then opened the image.
And nearly fell out of my chair. The text was in Sylvan, and it had been written using fey magic. But more than that, I recognized the handwriting. “Holy crap,” I swore without thinking.
“You know something?” BasedFishGoat asked.
“Yeah, I know something. And, if I’m right, we might be in a little trouble. Thank you, all of you. I’ve got to go, but I was right, you really have given me exactly what I needed to move forward. And I have to move quickly. I’ll contact you again when I’m able.”
Then I signed off. “What is it, O’Halloran?” Sinclair asked me.
“It’s you hoping that I’m entirely wrong. But I’m not. Juiz, I’m going to project the image of a face through the telepathic interface. I need you to search every photo of the last ten years and flag any that contain an image of this person.”
“Acknowledged. Estimated time for complete list is approximately fourteen minutes.”
“Kyle, you can’t seriously think…” Kira said, trailing off.
“Yeah, I can. I’m almost certain I’m right. John, I need you to contact your superiors. Tell them I may have a lead on our adversary. And that if I’m right, it’s extremely bad. And I’m going to need a team experienced in cataloguing magical artifacts.”
“Artifacts?”
“I need to know the status of some runestones. They’re made out of black alabaster and are roughly this big,” I held up my thumb and forefinger, “and marked with magical diagrams. The diagrams may have been mistaken for constellations.”
“And then you’ll tell me what this is all about?”
“I’ll tell you what I can, but you’re not going to like it.”
I used my magic to commune with the First World, the land of the Fey. It took some time, but eventually, I attracted the attention of a powerful entity. My magic coerced her to answer me, to the best of her knowledge. “I need only the answer to a single question,” I said. “Tell me. Has the Crow escaped from its cage?”
“Yes,” the being responded. I could sense that it was being truthful, so I thanked her and let her go on her way.
I then released my spell and returned to my body. Sinclair was waiting for me. “Five runestones like that you described have been recorded. Until recently, all five were located within private collections or museums. Since their magic didn’t seem too powerful, we’d left them where they were rather than make a scene securing them.”
“There should be six,” I said. “And what do you mean they ‘were’ in private collections?”
“Four of the five have been stolen over the last six months. Again, they didn’t seem important, so we hadn’t really been paying attention to them.”
“And what of the fifth?”
“I took the liberty of dispatching a team to secure it quietly. They should have it by the end of the day.”
“That should hopefully be good enough.”
He nodded. “So, tell me, what’s going on? And where were you astrally projected to?”
“I just contacted someone to confirm the nature of our enemy, and I was right. I can’t say his name, as he might have divination magic set to listen for it. Not until I’ve set up precautions. Can we meet with the directors? I want Juiz to show them who we’re going after and then I’m going to explain who he is and why things are suddenly incredibly dangerous.”
“I’ll make the call. Who did you contact, if you don’t mind me asking?”
“A fairy,” I said. “I contacted the First World, home of the Fey.”
He laughed. “Fine, you don’t have to tell me…” he trailed off when he saw the look on my face. “You’re serious. You just called up another world, found someone to answer your question. And she did.”
“My wife has angel wings.”
“You have the weirdest life, O’Halloran.”
“Lives,” I corrected him.
“I don’t even want to know.”
“You really don’t. But it might be important later, so don’t be surprised if I tell you anyway at some point.”
Three hours later, after the meeting with the very secret Senate Subcommittee on Magical Affairs, I was livid. In fact, I was so angry, I put my hand through a boulder. Split it right in two. Yes, magic was involved. But dammit, I was throwing a tantrum and wanted to make a point of how angry I was.
“You can’t be surprised that they didn’t believe you,” Sinclair said to me. “You really expected them to believe that?”
I sighed. “I don’t know what I expected them to believe. But it’s the truth.”
“I believe you. Are you certain that your plan will work?”
“Maybe ninety percent?” I hedged.
“Good enough. I can still bring us in the support we need. I’ll go make a few calls.”
When he was gone, Aurora sat down on a bench and motioned for me to come lay my head on her lap. “Are you okay?” she asked as she ran her fingers through my hair.
“Yes,” I said. “No. Maybe. God, I just don’t know.”
“Is this enemy really that dangerous?”
“Compared to Karzoug? I doubt it. I suspect that at worst, I’m looking at an even field in a one on one fight. And even then, I’m sure I know more spells than he does. And I can protect against his magical focus.”
“You know a lot about him, then? He’s a famous figure from your people’s legends, right? Is that how you know so much?”
I shook my head. “No. I mean, I’ve read the stories, same as many others, but that’s not how I know what I do.” I took a deep breath to try to calm myself. “I’ve told you about how I’ve begun remembering bits and pieces from several of my past lives, right?”
‘Yes,” Aurora said.
“There’s one in particular that I remember better than the rest. I think that its been pushing itself forward to warn me, now that I know more.”
“Warn you about what?”
“Our enemy, the man I’m going to have to fight… I knew him back then. Biblically. He was my lover, and I was pregnant with his child the day he thrust a knife into my neck and killed me.”
“Kyle!” Aurora gasped.
“Yeah. And I’m not her. But I was, and in some ways, I still have her feelings, if perhaps not as strong as I might have once. So yeah. I’m not looking forward to seeing him again.” I laughed darkly. “On the other hand, it will be good to make sure he’s nice and dead for real this time. I’m not the scared young woman I was back then. I’ve faced monsters far greater than he. I’ll be fine, love.”
“I’ll be right there to back you up,” she declared.
“Yeah, there’s that, too,” I agreed with a smile. “I’m going to need you out of sight, but nearby. He’s going to have some kind of trick up his sleeve, and I want to be able to have you ready to flip that back against him.” I thought of something. “And since he’s gonna have one trick up his sleeve, I should have two. Juiz, will you control the power armor and pretend to be me? Not only will it be nice having some backup with a rail gun, but it’ll help me hide my identity if everyone thinks I’m in the suit.”
“Affirmative,” Juiz answered.
“Then we have all we need. As soon as we find him, I draw him out, get him to use enough of his magic in public to prove who he is, and then…”
“Then what?” Aurora asked.
“Then I kill Merlin.”
Note:
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Epilogue: The Truth Unveiled
So what if I take a little perverse pleasure in recreating some of a bard’s most beloved tricks as magical items as a show of the supremacy of true wizards over half-assed fledglings? I’m allowed. Show me one thing a bard can do that I can’t recreate as an inanimate object and maybe I’ll listen to arguments about the value of bards beyond entertainment.
In preparation for my battle with Merlin, I had created one such magical item. And it was far beyond anything some spoony bard could do, capable of projecting one of their key powers across the entire globe, potentially. So suck on that, lute boys.
It only took me two days to make it, so I spent the next several days working on a special project for the government. If I was successful, Congress wanted to bring the world back to the previous political status quo and get the economy back on an upward trajectory again. Can’t say I really blamed them.
Even with so much to do, I was a bit antsy. I needed Merlin to show himself so I could get this over with. But he was being careful. Even believing that there was no way we’d know what he looked like, he was careful not to go out in public if he didn’t have to.
But at last, my bait got a bite. I’d put out a number of statements about how my new fusion generators would not only end the strife in the US, but would be able to bring peace to the entire world. Since the wizard wanted chaos, he couldn’t have that.
There were two attempts on my first prototype, but the security I’d put in place repelled them. I did my best to make it apparent that they would need a serious attack, or they’d never get in. In truth, I hoped I’d catch Merlin in the act and I could expose him there, but he was still too cagey, even for that.
No, instead, he took a different route. He accelerated his endgame a bit. It was time for the civil war to kick off in earnest.
The national leader of The New Patriots came on television – they hacked into the emergency broadcast system to make sure everyone saw it – to announce that they had captured a number of members of The Black Bloc and were sentencing them for their crimes, since the government was “no longer fit for purpose”. Merlin himself was present, though skulking in the background.
It was showtime. Juiz activated my special bardic replacement device, a tunneling worm that made its way into every multimedia device in the world and played a video embedded with bardic magic. It would strengthen the wills of those who saw it, and give them a chance to break free from any kind of mind control or magical suggestion.
The video was simple. It was me, taking a seat behind a desk. “Greetings, people of the world,” I said. “I believe we need to have a chat.” I paused and considered. “Perhaps, first, I should recall the words of Oscar Wilde. ‘Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth.’ Well, it is eminently important that I tell you the absolute truth here, so allow me to don a mask.” I put on a Guy Fawkes mask, because I’m a complete dork. “Much better. Now, what was I saying?
“Oh, right. The truth. And the truth is, there is something terribly wrong with this country, isn't there? Bitter rifts and divisiveness, the use of the truncheon, in lieu of conversation, intolerance of the very concept that others might disagree with our own political leanings. I’ve been in an underground bunker for about a decade, so when I returned, I had to ask, who’s to blame? What caused this? I bet many of you have been wondering as well.
“The truth is, if you’re looking for the guilty, you need only look as far as the nearest mirror. Look, I know why you did it. I understand. I really do. You were afraid. And why shouldn’t you have been? Things seemed so terribly out of place, nothing was as you understood that it should be. Nobody panics when something terrible happens as long as it’s all part of the plan, all normal, status quo. But if things seem to no longer fit that mold, suddenly everyone LOSES THEIR MINDS.
“Well, certainly that has happened. And it was accelerated by the rise of a few charismatic and ruthless individuals who have whipped the masses up for their own benefit. And this was further exacerbated by those in power making several key blunders. One little election created the powder keg, but we were still waiting for a spark.
“But, perhaps, it is unfair for me to tell you that all of this was your fault. I can’t even place the blame on those who used the opportunity for their own gain. No. Just as you were their puppets, so too were they puppets of but one man. That has changed. At long last, we’ve found him, and he will be brought to justice.
“Even as I speak, the process of his apprehension has begun and I will return your broadcast to that momentarily. But, before I do, I must warn you of something. Something vital. The world is not as you know it. There are things that have been hidden from you. Things that will be revealed momentarily. Fifteen hundred years ago everybody knew the Earth was the center of the universe. Five hundred years ago, everybody knew the Earth was flat, and fifteen minutes ago, you knew that there was no such thing as magic.
“Well, let me tell you something. As of this moment, everything you thought you knew means precisely dick.”
<You know, I bet you could have shoehorned in at least a dozen more movie references if you really tried.>
<Even I have my limits.>
Meanwhile, I was walking my way right into the hijacked press conference. No one even noticed me. It didn’t hurt that I’d changed my appearance, of course. But aside from that, I didn’t really do much else. I just kinda walked in like I belonged.
They were all too busy watching the monitor to pay attention. And when it finished, there was a strange silence as the video finished. It took a full twenty seconds before someone finally asked, “What on Earth is he talking about?” Others looked like they were in a daze, the magic hold over them beginning to fade.
I took a bite of an apple, crunching loudly over the questioning murmur. Everyone turned to me. “Now, that is a good question,” I said, my mouth half full. “But I’d be willing to bet someone in this room can tell you.” I pointed to a woman at random. “You, maybe? No, you’re not the one.” Then a man. “Perhaps you? No, but we’re getting warmer, aren’t we? You can’t remember a lot of what’s happened recently, right? Almost as if someone magically altered your memories. Hrm. But if not you, then who?”
I made a show of looking around. “Who exactly are you?” someone asked.
I answered him by holding a finger up, telling him to wait a moment. “Ah, yes. There you are. Over by the door, trying to inch your way outside without anyone noticing. Oi! I’m talking to you! The middle-aged guy in the bomber jacket!” No answer. “Well, if you’re gonna be a prick about it…”
I cast a spell and a bolt of lightning leapt from my fingertips, striking the wall just above my target. Everyone in the room just stared at me as if… well, as if I’d just conjured a bolt of lightning from my fingertips.
My target turned around, slowly and deliberately. “What do you want?” he asked. It was clear that he was annoyed.
“What I want is for everyone but you and me to leave the room,” I said. “NOW.” I punctuated my command by using a spell to shatter one of the large window panes. Everyone was suddenly very aware that we were about forty stories up. Wisely, they fled.
“Well, we’re alone now. I must be honest. It took you and your government a lot longer to find me than I had expected. So now you’re going to tell me everything you can about your people.” It was working out in my favor. He cast a spell, completely forgetting about the cameras in the room.
And it was a completely useless attempt. I had a wayfinder clipped to my belt, with a particular kind of ioun stone nestled within. His mental domination spell was completely ineffective. Unfortunately, he knew that, otherwise I really could have used that to my advantage. “Nice try,” I said.
“That’s fine,” he said as his eyes began glowing blue. “But I am intrigued by the number of magical items you seem to be carrying. So tell me, did they strap everything they had to their least incompetent wizard?”
“Something like that,” I said. “So, will you surrender quietly, or do I have to bring you down the hard way?”
“Oh, I’d like to see you try,” he said, hitting me with a fireball. I knew him well enough that I’d already warded myself against it, so it had no effect.
“I bet you would, Merlin Stormcrow,” I said as I retaliated by conjuring up a small wall of water, which I used to shove him out of the window. The surprise on his face at my use of his name was enjoyable, as was the startled look he had as he went sailing over the edge.
As he fell, I began casting other protective spells – all low level magic, but it’s amazing what you can do with a little preparation and the right low level magic. I wasn’t the least bit surprised when he flew back in through the shattered window. In fact, I struck him with my fist, enhanced by magical force. He once more went flying through the air, but this time I went after him.
We hovered hundreds of feet over the streets of New York. “My, both a lightning bolt and magical flight. I may have underestimated your little agency. To think that you would have even one agent with access to both.”
He tried to dispel my flight spell, but I easily countered him. “You’ll find that I’m full of surprises.” Then I hit him with a blast of flame.
“You people are all the same,” he said. “It’s always direct combat magic and evocation with you. You should try something more effective.” Then he pulled out a rod and quick summoned a pair of large air elementals.
I countered with something he hadn’t seen before, conjuring a quintet of lantern archons using my own magic rod. Since Earth was protected from interference from any plane other than the First World – the fey do occasionally use elementals, so we had some experience with them – he never had an opportunity to witness something like this. No one really had. And he had no idea just how dangerous they could be, despite their size. Especially after I boosted their speed with another spell.
Beams of light immediately tore apart the closest air elemental. “Fascinating!” he laughed. “You must tell me, just what are these things?”
“Light elementals,” I lied.
“I’m looking forward to studying your spellbook once I’ve killed you,” he said before destroying all of my archons with a blast of chain lightning, one of his strongest spells. He also hit me, but I was able to resist the magic thanks to my magic coat.
I retaliated with another blast of lightning of my own, then quick conjured a dozen swords from my blood and launched them at him. They skewered him like a pincushion. I took immense satisfaction at the sight. “I believe I win,” I said. I knew it wasn’t over. I knew he had a backup plan. But he didn’t need to know that I knew.
“Not yet,” he said as the swords fell from his body. “But I do need a moment. KILL HIM!”
A figure streaked through the sky. I barely managed to bring up my gauntleted hand in time to deflect the crushing blow of a bastard sword. “You will all pay!” the knight shouted. “Everyone will pay for what was done to her!”
What the hell? I knew that voice. But that was impossible! “Percival?!” I shouted, kicking him away.
“You know my name, knave?! Then surely you played a part in the death of the dear Lady Rhoslyn!” Yep. He was trying to kill me because he thought I’d had a part in my own death.
You see, the old stories say that Percival was raised in the forest by his mother. That’s only half true. He actually grew up in a small elven village, which, I guess was in fact located in the forest. He had been the lone voice of reason during Camelot’s crusade against the elven people. And he absolutely adored me, like a little sister, almost.
Apparently Merlin had left out the tiny detail of having killed me himself. Typical. And I’d bet his control was enforced by magic, so there was little chance at reasoning with him.
But I had to try anyway. “Percival! You have to listen to me! Merlin was the one who killed her. He was the one who held the knife!”
“Lies! I will strike you down, deceiver!”
Dammit. I was going to have to kill someone who I had cared about long ago. I didn’t like that one bit. But it had to be done. I only hoped his soul could learn the truth after he died.
I only had to find a way to cast a spell while dodging his attacks and worrying about what Merlin was doing. It wasn’t going to be easy. Percival had learned how to fight enemy wizards in the war to protect the Britons. I wouldn’t say he was strong enough to stop me, but it was going to be a pain in the ass.
And then an angel appeared at my side. Her twin blade cut through the air and deftly drove back my knightly foe. “I’ve got this!” Aurora said. “Worry about the wizard!”
I’m pretty sure the entire world saw Aurora’s arrival and gasped in unified shock. As if the magic reveal wasn’t enough. Now we had to explain that angels were really a thing. Oh well, the damage was done, and at least her helm and metallic skin would hide her appearance well enough.
“Try to bring him down without killing him if you can!” I told her. “I’ll explain later!”
I turned my attention back to Merlin just in time for my flight spell to be dispelled. He followed up the dispel with a magically enhanced punch that sent me hurtling towards the ground.
It was all I could do to send out a blast of force of my own ahead of me, blowing a hole in the building just as I hit. To the naked eye, it would look like I’d hit the wall hard enough to slam through the concrete. I’d still hit pretty hard, but my magic boots actually cushioned much of the fall. “Juiz, shoot at Merlin,” I coughed. “You probably won’t be able to hit him, but it should be enough to keep him from attacking Aurora for a moment.”
“Acknowledged,” the AI’s voice responded.
“Don’t worry about me,” Aurora said over the comm. “The wizard cast some sort of spell to make himself a better fighter and pulled out a pair of black swords. He keeps saying something about them being as strong as Excalibur, whatever that is. I can handle both of them pretty easily.”
Kira appeared before me. “It’s time to stop playing with him. You’ve made your point. You’ve had time to study his magic. What have you found?”
“He’s limited to sixth tier magic and below. Same as back when we knew him before. He’s almost no threat to me. Even less now that he’s used a spell that will prevent him from casting in exchange for being a better fighter.” Even with that, I could probably handle him one-on-one in melee combat. His magical enhancement wouldn’t give him enough advantage to overcome my greater experience and training.
“Good. Kill him.”
“I thought I had. But he survived the blades.” Of course, I never thought those would kill him. But she didn’t need to know that at the moment.
<Jerk.>
“Then kill him harder.”
“Fine,” I said. “I’ll get right on that.”
“HE. HAS. MY. SWORDS,” she said slowly and deliberately, as if I was an idiot. And she wasn’t wrong. About the swords. I’m pretty sure I’m probably not an idiot most of the time. Anyway, I was almost certain that the blades he was wielding had once belonged to Cedwin Silverdew, Kira’s previous self, known to history as Mordred.
“I know. It’s not surprising, really. Excalibur was lost when they chucked it into that lake. But your swords were never accounted for. Don’t worry, it irritates me just as much as it irritates you.”
“Kyle, no more joking around. You’re going to kill him right now. And I’m not giving you a choice. Juiz, a little help?”
I wondered what she meant by that, but then I heard my own voice reverberating outside, synthesized and played by the speakers on my own power armor. “NARBERAL GAMMA! It’s time to show him the true power of Nazarick!”
“That’s unfair,” I protested. “You can’t use anime against me like that.”
“Tough. Now get out there and END HIM.”
“I’ll need to cast a few spells first.”
“Do what you need to, but don’t take too long.”
I began casting. I knew what spells I wanted to use when it was time to finish this. I just hadn’t been ready to finish toying with this person until Kira had forced my hand. I know that my hatred isn’t my own, but the baggage of one of many past lives, but I couldn’t help it. I was angrier than I’d perhaps ever been before.
First, I cast an extremely powerful illusion spell. Once I knew I was looking to face Merlin, I’d created it based on a weaker spell that creates a fifty foot radius area of illusion that mimics the depths of hell, but was much more powerful. Instead, it would cause an area miles in diameter to appear to become covered in thorny vines and other vegetation, as though nature had sprung up and overtaken the area entirely. It would also allow me some limited control over the illusion, so I could make the vines appear to do what I wanted.
I then cast several spells to boost my own power and reduce an enemy’s ability to hurt me. Then my clothing changed, becoming a beautiful hooded robe that framed my changing body. Delicate white gloves enveloped my slender fingers, and silver earrings hung from my pointed ears, which now heard soft music playing as an ancient, melancholic song long lost to history echoed upon the light breeze.
I flew out of the hole in the wall and into the air, but to any observers, it appeared that I was standing upon an extending giant vine. “The time has come for a reckoning, Old Crow,” I said, my voice no louder than a normal speaking tone, but magically enhanced so it could be heard for miles if I wished it.
Seeing the power of nature, which had been the gift of magic inherent in Rhoslyn Silverdew’s blood, had given Merlin pause. Hearing my voice had startled him. But hearing me call him by my affectionate nickname had an even greater effect. “That’s impossible!”
“Did you think that a mere knife, not even of cold iron, could make wounds beyond the skill of my godmother, Old Crow? Did you think that you were greater than fair Titania? You, a mere human wizard, greater than the queen of the Fair Folk?”
“But… I…” he stammered.
I turned to the knight who was still fighting my wife and pulled back my hood. “Good Percival, please, stay your blade. You have been deceived by my former beloved’s treachery. Please stand aside while I give him the punishment he richly deserves.”
The young knight, taken aback by my mere presence, sheathed his sword immediately. “Of course, milady.”
“Thank you.” I then looked to Aurora. “Please, Angel, take Percival somewhere safe. I would hate for this vile creature to harm him in an attempt to upset me.” She nodded and they flew down to waiting government agents, who took him into custody without incident.
Merlin took advantage of my apparent distraction to attempt to attack me, charging forward in an attempt to stab me in the back. With his magic sealed by his transformation into a warrior, he had no other options.
But I was prepared. One of the new blades I’d created for Kira was in my hand, and instantly snapped together in time to block his attack. He might have enhanced his skills with magic, but I had been training with Aurora and my body still had muscle memory from Kira. I outclassed him even here.
“How?!” he asked.
“I invented this metal. Did you think I was incapable of making more?” I slashed at him, leaving a shallow cut from waist to collarbone. Before my eyes, it immediately began to heal. That was the final piece to the puzzle. “I see. You were the one who took Arthur’s sword belt.” It was a powerful magic item that protected Arthur from all wounds, but someone had stolen it, allowing Cedwin to defeat him at that final battle.
He sneered. “Yes, and now you know that you cannot defeat me. It cannot be removed unless I will it. It cannot be sundered, and it cannot be disenchanted! I have already won!”
“Cannot be disenchanted? Or are you merely too weak to disenchant it?”
“You think to scare me by insinuating that you have power beyond my own? Pathetic. I am the great Merlin, pinnacle of wizards!”
I laughed derisively. Then I cast a spell and spoke the word of power. “Disjunction.” I followed that up by immediately running him through.
“How?!” he gasped, as blood dripped from his lips.
“You are little more than a big fish in a small pond,” I answered. “But now this pond has no further need of you. Goodbye, old crow.” I cast another spell. “Disintegrate.”
And the dust that had been the body of the man I had loved in another life was carried off into the breeze as the Blades of Mordred fell over a hundred feet to the ground below, embedding themselves in the asphalt.
It was over. And the whole world had watched it all.
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Epilogue: Future Imperfect
The war ended less than a month after it started. Which isn’t exactly surprising, considering the Night Witches I’d built had proved even more effective than expected, completely crippling the Chinese navy in less than six hours. Yeah, SIX HOURS. Not bad for twelve fighters, though they thought we had dozens more, since they were so fast.
The US began regulating magic, leaning on my knowledge of what was possible to help decide on policy. Meanwhile, I was working on rebuilding the world and providing everyone I could with free, nearly limitless energy.
I did good work, and in the process, made a ton of money, which I immediately used to make no-interest loans to countries that needed it. At some point, for my work, someone nominated me for sainthood, which only failed despite my popularity because I pointed out that I needed to be dead to be eligible, and that wasn’t gonna happen anytime soon.
Or ever, since Samantha had provided me with a Sun Orchid as part of my attempts to give Kira a new body. Through a lab accident that I’m sure wasn’t an accident, somehow I caused everyone in the building at the time to become immortal, which meant Aurora, Kira, me and our infant daughter Lyriana, though I suspect the latter was never mortal to begin with. More on that later.
Almost twenty years after I returned, Earth was invaded by aliens. I always suspected that Lamashtu had pointed them in our direction because of how pissed at me she was, but could never prove it. Either way, it was one of humanity’s darkest hours. We fought and eventually won, but only by the skin of our teeth.
Meanwhile, they’d harvested billions of humans to use as CPUs for their computers since they were too afraid of AI to use proper computers. Of course, they were proved right since Juiz was the cause of their downfall.
Well, I helped. We reconfigured the telepathic interface to hack into their communication signal, and then flooded their minds with the collective memes of the human race. We played Trololo over the speakers of every human vehicle that took part in taking them down while their shields were disabled by Juiz.
That more or less united the survivors. They wanted me to be in charge, which I refused. Instead, I helped the world build a new government, which I asked to add an amendment to their constitution forbidding me from holding national political office explicitly.
Of course, the war had revealed my secret identity as the mage who had fought Merlin, so I lied about how I knew the information from Rhoslyn, which I attributed to a diary. That made my guardian angel happy, since it kept the information of past lives a secret for a while longer.
The truth of the twelve came to light when BasedFishGoat died – at the ripe old age of one thousand twenty three thanks to my new longevity treatment – and became the first of what were called “The Transcended”, souls that had evolved enough to become nearly like gods, though not quite. Basically, he was the first Q, which I know is a reference no one who could be reading this now would ever get.
In time, others joined him. Kira and I were the last, though Kira’s fate was much stranger, though I get ahead of myself.
Aurora and I remained together through millions of years. Whoever says love can’t last through eterntiy is lying. It almost never does, but I love her even more than I did when we were first wed. Ask me again in another ten million years.
We’ve had thousands of children in that time, and while we loved all of them, only a few were remarkable in the historical sense. So let’s start with the first. Lyriana, our first born child and the only Great Old One to come from Earthling stock.
Yeah, our eldest daughter is basically Cthulhu. That was the gift Samantha gave. She’s undying and her mind is alien, defined most by an apparent hunger for new experiences. She’s still more or less human – despite being able to survive literally any environment, from the depths of space to the heart of a star – so you won’t lose any sanity points just by hanging out with her, but unless you’re billions of years old and some kind of semi-god, then I wouldn’t suggest reading her mind. You might see some of the things she’s seen, and they might drive you mad.
All in all, though, she’s still a good kid. And I mean that. She’s done a lot of good for the universe, but she’s permanently nineteen, with the maturity that comes with that age. Try as I might, I have trouble getting her to understand long term consequences.
For instance, there was this one time she almost created the Tyranid swarm. Her reasons were good. Her younger brother had screwed something up – more on that in a moment – and she was trying to fix it. But they would have ultimately been a much worse problem.
So now, I do what I can to distract her so she doesn’t do something similar.
The next I need to mention is her brother, Corven. He was born tens of thousands of years later, and had what was quite possibly the universe’s greatest emo phase ever, barring perhaps only Zon Kuthon. Yeah. We tried to help him, but he continued down a completely nihilistic path until one day he surprised even us.
You see, he lured Urgathoa, the goddess of undeath, to a remote planet. I’m not sure how. But I do know that what he did next was cause the system’s star to go supernova, killing the goddess. He then stole her power and used it to create an army of the dead to snuff out all life throughout the cosmos.
Sometimes I wonder if I should have hugged him more when he was little or something.
When we discovered what he’d done, Aurora led humanity’s forces against him. Meanwhile, I discovered that Lyriana was also trying to stop him in her own way. So I was forced to take the Rangers – now a multi-galactic peacekeeping force – to destroy her creation. To her credit, she wasn’t upset when I explained why I needed to destroy them. She just apologized, admitting she hadn’t thought about the possible outcomes. Kind of like Geo, that child. His whole cult thing didn’t turn out well for him, though that’s a story for another time.
Aurora fought our son in a climactic battle on a dying world. They fought for three days. When the sun rose on the third day, she finally managed to defeat him, cutting down our beloved child. He died in her arms, and in that moment, by wife gained the gift of godhood herself. She gained the domains of Life, and Protection, as well as others.
We mourned for a long time over his loss, but eventually carried on with our lives. In time, other children were born. Which leads to the third and final child of historical note. Well, they were twins, Avril and Henri – I was going through a French naming phase – and they were the only children I gave birth to. Yeah, me. My wife’s a goddess, you think we couldn’t swap genders or something?
Anyway, Henri screwed up, making a deal with a devil. And, as these things go, it took his soul. Avril, my dear little Hellrazer, didn’t take that well. She traveled the worlds of the Kingdom of Humanity, gathering forces. Eventually, she created a grand army and impressive fleet, which she simply called “The Grand Crusade”.
Then she took that force, and invaded Hell. Eventually they were pushed back, but not before they burned roughly eighty percent of Hell to the ground. Yeah, you heard that right. THEY. BURNED. HELL.
The Crusade, having made their point, then began traveling the cosmos, torching all fiendish incursions, from Hell Worlds to Wound Worlds – entire planets consumed by the World Wounds like that Golarion once suffered. The only thing that stopped them was Rovagug getting free.
Before I talk about that, let me tell you about the Children of Earth, as we came to be known. You see, our technology was not only more advanced than anything else in the galaxy, it was so utterly different in some ways as to seem impossible to other races. We were the only race to use proper Warp Drive, while others used hyperspace and gate technology, for instance. We were also the only race to use Zero Point energy. Of course, the latter is probably the reason for the former.
We were generally peaceful, but when we got serious, it was terrifying. The Children of Earth were also known as The Lords of War for our unstoppable fleets and terrifying soldiers. So it was that when Rovagug got free, we were the second line of defense against him.
No, I don’t know how he got free. Some suspect Asmodeus set him free as retaliation for the Crusade, though his cage might have gotten damaged when Golarion disappeared from the universe for a time, and he worked himself free.
No matter how it happened, the other gods banded together against him. Perhaps, had those few who abstained pitched in, he could have been destroyed. But they didn’t. And most of the remaining gods perished in the climactic battle that nearly tore the universe apart.
In a desperate, last ditch effort, our god, backed by Aurora and a fleet of human ships, managed not to kill Rovagug, but move him to another galaxy far from our own, locking his ability to teleport himself. If he wanted to get to us, he would have to fly through space. That would buy us time.
And we needed to buy time to prepare. Our god had died in the effort and Aurora nearly died with him. But there was an ancient prophecy. “In the flow of time, I see that one day, the God of Destruction will loose himself from his prison. The other gods of the cosmos will try to defeat him, but they will fail, due to a lack of trust and infighting. If that happens, it will remain up to the Children of Earth, whose only hope lay with harnessing the Fires of Creation. If they succeed, they may indeed stop Destruction’s rampage, but at great cost.”
Using our powerful technology, we threw everything we could think at him. We caused an entire galaxy’s stars to simultaneously supernova, harnessing their energy to make a powerful beam that threatened to tear reality itself asunder. We also tried making a powerful gun capable of firing supermassive black holes – the kind that are usually found at the heart of a galaxy – at FTL speed.
We hit him with each, and they only slowed him down for a few decades while he repaired the damage to his body. We hit him with both – that’s two galaxies we sacrificed just to TRY to stop him – and it only bought us a mere century.
In the end, he made it back to our galaxy. Star by star, the lights in the sky began to blink out – FTL sensors, obviously – and we knew he was coming. He was making a near beeline for Earth, stopping only to take out whatever was within his grasp. Our fleets hounded him, like gnats biting at a great beast.
He reached the solar system and found the remaining might of Earth’s fleet’s waiting for him with Kira in command, along with Aurora, Lyriana and Samantha standing against him beside the eleven transcended beings. And they fought merely to buy me time.
I stood on the bridge of the great space station between Earth and Mars, ready for our destruction, knowing that no matter what happened today, the fate of the universe was sealed. Either we failed and everything would die, or we’d succeed and everything would die, Rovagug along with us.
I activated a device that would allow my words to reach every living being throughout the universe. “To everyone, everywhere. The gods have failed to stop the coming destruction. The Children of Earth have failed to stop the coming destruction. So it comes that we make the greatest sacrifice, our existence and the existence of all of you for the vague hope that the peoples of the next universe will be spared our same fate. I’m sorry.” Then I began to sing, a song forgotten to all but a few. It seemed fitting that I would usher the end of existence with music from a game.
“War born of strife, these trials persuade us not
Words without sound, these lies betray our thoughts
Mired by a plague of doubt, the Land, she mourns
Judgement binds all we hold to a memory of scorn
Tell us why, given Life, we are meant to die, helpless in our cries?”
“Kyle, you have to do it now!” Kira said through telepathy. “He’s figured out what we’re doing and he’s heading straight for you! I’ll buy you all the time I can!”
“Samantha, do it now,” I said, giving the signal for my old friend to drag my wife and eldest daughter to a demiplane shielded against what would come. Aurora would be angry with me, but I had to keep them both safe. Then I activated the device, Rovagug mere seconds from me.
Time froze for a mere moment, and then, seconds later, the entire universe collapsed into a microsingularity centered at my location. The device we had created had caused the entire universe to return to the primordial state, like it was before the Big Bang.
Surrounding the burning primordial singularity stood twelve beings, the Transcended. I had taken my place beside them. Kira was nowhere to be seen.
A small number of gods had survived by being on other planes, but we were all that remained of life in the material plane, which now consisted of a single, very hot point – the Fires of Creation.
“It is done,” Virgo said.
“We have prevailed,” Cancer agreed.
“But the cost,” Aquarius lamented.
“Those who will live in the new universe will honor their sacrifice,” Sagittarius said.
“We must not celebrate early,” Capricorn cautioned.
“Yes, we thought him defeated twice before,” Taurus agreed.
“Surely he could not have survived,” Leo argued.
“We have surely bested him,” Aries agreed.
“Then why do I feel uneasy?” Pisces asked.
“Yes, I sense a darkness within,” Libra added.
“Then what can we do?” Scorpio asked.
“We haven’t used the Fires of Creation yet,” I said.
“Explain, Gemini,” Libra said to me.
“We’ve destroyed the universe. That is his power, destruction. We can only finally end him with a powerful act of creation.”
“What do you have in mind?” Aquarius asked.
“Genesis,” I said.
The others exchanged glances. “Agreed. We must end the equilibrium, so that the universe may be born anew,” Virgo said. “But how?”
“He must do it,” Samantha said, having appeared by my side. “His twin has become intertwined with the protouniverse, and will become its consciousness. He need only speak the words and the universe will begin anew. And I will join her forever, the Dreamer, as Azathoth was before me.”
Kira was the universe now? “You’re sure?” I asked.
“It was how it was meant to be. Do it now, before the dark god manages to regain consciousness.”
“I will remember this always,” I said as I hugged her. Then I spoke the words. His words, in His memory.
“Let there be light.”
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Finale: Hope Springs Eternal
The prefect sighed. “There’s nothing else? I was hoping for some kind of tactics, or a technology that might turn the tide of the war. As things stand, we’ll be overrun. I shudder to think what will happen when those bastards from the Southern Coalition take the city. Even now their forces begin to spill into the city from the battlefield.” He walked to the window. “See? Even now, fires have begun to burn in the city.”
“I do apologize, but that was all that was written. Perhaps, since you’re already there by the window, I might share with you one thing that’s passed along at the monastery?”
“Sure, it can’t hurt.”
The old man walked over and joined the leader who was watching as his city did its best to repel the invasion, a failed endeavor, all knew. He pointed at a well known constellation. “There, in the sky, in the center of the Mother.”
“What do you mean… wait, that’s not supposed to be there! I’ve never seen that star before.”
“Yes, it’s a special star known as Asseylum Vers Allusia.”
“I’m not familiar what those words mean.”
“It’s an old legend, passed down secretly by our order. It tells the tale of a young woman, a princess, who sacrificed what she wanted in order to secure an outcome to a war that she could live with. In times of great strife, that star may appear, reminding us that no matter how dire the situation appears, there is always an outcome we can be satisfied with. We need only be willing to find it, and if necessary, sacrifice all else to secure it.”
“I see,” the prefect said, stroking his long beard. “But I can see no way to save the city.”
The old man raised his eyebrow. “Is the city what’s most valuable?”
The prefect considered. “I suppose not. It’s the people that matter. But that makes no difference. The people will die or suffer greatly when the city is overrun.”
“Is that necessarily true?”
The patrician thought about it. “Well, maybe not!” He hurried over to the map. “Yes! I see it! We can save the people. There is a way to evacuate them. It will cost the lives of almost all of our soldiers, though. How can I ask them to make that sacrifice?”
“They are soldiers. They understand the alternative, do they not? Will they not stand side by side with a leader who is trying to save their families? Will they not willingly lay down their lives to save said families?”
“‘Stand side by side’…” the prefect repeated. “That’s it!” He ran to the door. “Boy, get me my uniform and a good horse. I’m going to lead the men myself.” He returned to the old man. “If I’m going to ask the men to fight to the death, the least I can do is join them. I have a family to consider too. And we’ll make those bastards pay for every inch, knowing that every second we last means that much more precious time for our families to get to safety.”
The old man smiled. “Then may Kira watch over you,” he said.
“May Kira watch over us all!” the patrician said. “Thank you, friend, for your wise council. Shall I send someone to take you back to the monastery?”
“No, I will be fine. No one’s going to bother an old monk, and you’re not going to have anyone to spare.”
“True enough. Thank you, again.” The old man just smiled, and made his way to the door.
When he walked through, he appeared not in the hallway, but on the street, several miles away. And he was no longer old, but a man appearing in his upper twenties. He smiled. “Maybe there’s hope for these idiots yet,” he said with a laugh. “I guess Aurora was right after all.”
The man heard a scream, and rushed towards the sound. He found one of the invading soldiers straddling a young woman. Her dress was torn, but she still fought to prevent what the man had in mind. Nearby was a burnt carriage and several corpses – including the corpse of the beast that had pulled the carriage.
The man cleared his throat. “What, precisely do you think you’re doing?” he asked.
The soldier stood and the woman quickly backed into the corner, terrified but having nowhere to go. “This isn’t any of your business,”the soldier said menacingly as he drew his flintlock pistol.
“Ah, but the scriptures talk of the importance of free will. I am simply exercising my free will and making it my business. If you know what’s good for you, you’ll leave quietly.”
“Or what, you’ll die to my bullet? Who do you think you are to threaten me?”
The man sighed, then grinned. “They never learn,” he laughed. “Please allow me to introduce myself. I’m a man of wealth and taste.” Then, faster than the eye could possibly follow, he closed the distance between them, and broke the soldier’s wrist as he took away the gun. He then bodily lifted the soldier from the ground by the front of his shirt and slammed him into the brick wall.
The soldier screamed in panic, but the sound was cut off as he was shoved into the now liquid wall. Moments later, the wall solidified, leaving only twitching arms and legs sticking out.
“Pleased to meet you,” the man said to the visible parts of the corpse. “Hope you’ve guessed my name.” He walked over to the woman. “Are you hurt?” he asked, extending his hand.
“I think, I’m okay,” she said as he pulled her to her feet. “A little bruised, and my dress is torn, but I’ll survive.”
“Well, we can’t leave such a pretty dress damaged like that.” He waved his finger, and the dress instantly mended. “Much better.”
“How…?” the woman asked.
“It is better not to worry about it. There’s little time. Go down that road there, then turn right at the end, and make a left through the alley. If you move quickly, you will find a group of your own people’s soldiers who will take you to safety. They’re evacuating the town.”
“Okay,” she said, “thank you, again.”
“You are most welcome. Now hurry. And remember, don’t stop for anything.”
His good deed done, the man walked to the nearest doorway and stepped through, appearing on the bridge of a ship high above the carnage. Sitting in the seat was his very pregnant wife, the goddess Aurora. “Fixing her dress was very sweet of you,” she said as he bent down and gave her a kiss. “So, was I right?”
“Yes, love,” Gemini said. “There is still hope for them yet. So, we’re going through with it?”
“Yes, Kyle. Our son will be born among them. We will raise him as one of them, and in time, he may change their world for the better.”
”Yes. He will give the people of this world an ideal to strive towards. They will race behind him, they will stumble, they will fall. But in time, they will join him in the sun. In time, he will help them accomplish wonders.”
“Why do I feel like that’s another one of your quotes from something?”
“Don’t worry about it,” he said, kissing her again. “Juiz, please begin making preparations to set the Asseylum down. Configure it to appear as a normal home for this world.”
“Preparations beginning, estimated time three hours.”
“Good,” another voice said. “Then perhaps you have a few moments to chat?”
“Hello, Capricorn,” Aurora said smiling beatifically.
“Sup, Goat?” Kyle asked in greeting.
“You’re looking radiant as always,” the man in the pirate costume answered the goddess. No one asked him about it. He just put on different costumes seemingly at random, though he claimed that there was a logic to it. “Might I borrow your husband for a few minutes? I have a little business with him.”
“Of course. He’ll tell me about it when you’re done, but if you want privacy for now, that’s fine.”
“We’ll talk in the ready room,” Kyle said. “Oh, and before I forget. Juiz, when you have a moment, please awaken the Pleiades and have them go to the surface to help civilians. They shouldn’t get involved in any fighting unless absolutely necessary. Prioritize protecting non-combatants and masking their presence. In that order.”
“Acknowledged,” the AI answered.
Once in the ready room, Kyle took a seat behind the desk. “So, what’s this about, Robert?”
“I think I mentioned this last time we talked, but I’ve been keeping an eye on a rather massive little war in the Eridani cluster.”
“Right. Those two species have been fighting each other for over a century, as I recall?”
“Yes. Well, I was looking around, and… we may have a problem.” He made a gesture and an image hovered in the air. Depicted was a lone being, flying through space. She looked human in shape, but had eyes blacker than the void and her translucent skin appeared to contain an entire galaxy of stars.
Kyle still didn’t know the truth of what Samantha’s gift had entailed. How could he know that his daughter was the genesis of an entirely new universe, one which would last forever, and would somehow support life without the aid of a Dreamer? “What’s Lyriana doing there?” he asked.
“I don’t know. But I do know that if she finds that war… Well, she has a tendency to meddle. And I’m always worried just what form that will take. She’s a good kid, but she REALLY doesn’t think things through.”
“That’s why I made all those preparations,” Kyle said, pulling up a star map. He pointed at a particular system. “There. Another one of those simulation demi-planes I’ve created to distract her is there. It should keep her attention for at least a century. Hopefully that’s enough time for that little war to conclude.”
“I’m sure that’ll be enough, one way or another. If not, I’ll have to step in and end it before she comes out.” He paused. “But how to get her there?”
“I’ll make a call.” He closed his eyes and focused on his unique link to the universe itself. “Kira, are you there?”
A ghostly projection appeared. “I’m always here. I’m everywhere,” his twin said. “I’m not always paying attention, of course. But I’m always here. What do you need?”
“Think you could put on a bit of a light show and attract Lyriana somewhere?”
She rolled her eyes. “Of course! Who do you think you’re talking to? Just show me where.” Kyle showed her. “Oh, that’s the site of another of your live action video game microcosm thingies. You know, those itch quite a bit.”
“Sorry,” he apologized. “But it was the best I could think of to keep her busy when we needed to. And she seems to really enjoy them.”
“Don’t worry about it, I can deal with a bit of an itch. So, what game is this one based on?”
“Fallout. It has twelve different scenarios for her to play through.”
“One for every game in the series?” Capricorn asked.
“I still think there would have been more,” Kyle said. “But Todd Howard tried to port Skyrim to dialysis machines, and that was the last straw. He had to be stopped.”
“I’ll give you that. But exiling him to the moon? Was that really necessary?”
“He’s lucky Kyle got to him before I did,” Kira said. “Anyway, I’m on it. Give my love to Aurora.” Then she was gone.
“I’ll get going too,” Capricorn said. “You have your lovely wife and soon to be born child to attend to.” He laughed. “You know, I really envy you. Not everyone can pull off a marriage that lasts aeons.”
Kyle grinned. “We can’t all run around turning ourselves into fantastic creatures to impregnate random women we run across. Some of us have to think about our reputations. Besides, I couldn’t date anyone who wasn’t at least half my age plus seven thousand millennia. Wouldn’t want to be a creeper.”
“Fair enough,” Capricorn said. “See you around.”
“Take care of yourself.”
“I will.” And he too was gone.
Kyle returned to Aurora. “So, what was that about?” she asked.
“He was worried Lyriana might mess with his favorite TV show, so I bought her a new video game to keep her busy.”
“You have the weirdest analogies,” she said, pulling him down for another kiss.
“I’ve had the weirdest life,” he said. He kissed her again. “Though I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the universe.” He smiled as they sat together, wordlessly enjoying the view of the stars on the viewscreen before them.
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And with that, Kyle's long strange trip is over. Just in time, too, because we did our first Carrion Crown session earlier tonight, with its own cast of crazy characters.
Thank you all for reading. I've really enjoyed doing this write up. I hope you've all enjoyed reading it half as much as I did writing it.
On one point I should mention: I know I left Geo's fate hanging in the air with naught but a few hints, but it's the base concept for a potential future campaign. Since it's a custom campaign I plan to run(and it's not even in the plotting phase yet, merely the high concept stage) I don't mind sharing a bit, though if anyone who games with me is reading this, don't click the spoiler.
Assuming everything goes right, of course.
Anyway, as promised, I will begin working on recrafting this into a single, PROPERLY EDITED, document to share later, but between RoW and CC, it might take a while. Unless I win the lottery and suddenly have a ton of free time on my hands. :P
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Thanks, I'm glad you liked it.
Will you also be doing a campaign journal for Carrion Crown?
Yes. I've written my character backstory and am a few pages into the first chapter. Planning to post when I get the first chapter done, which I'm hoping to be later this week(so the others can read it next session, which will be a continuation of Reign of Winter).
This will be my first 3rd person journal, with limited omniscience. The narrator will be able to read my character's mind, but not everyone else's. I think one of the character sets a whole new level of strange, even for us.
Looking forward to it.
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Wowza, Poldaran, what a fantastic read all the way to the end.
Very much looking forward to your Carrion Crown journal!
A new level of strange, even for your group? Having read through this one and following along with Reign of Winter, I have to see what this character is like.
The best part is, until the revelation(it will likely come fairly early) you'll likely be unsure which of the two it is. :P
Good read Poldaran! To thiose callign to publish it'd be very difficult since it's 1) sort fo already published as an adventure 2) speaking as a publisher the sheer volume of references and rewrites to IP would give a lawyer fits. There's a reason Dresden doesn't make very many direct references.
Still overall very good read I enjoyed the hell out of this.
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Good read Poldaran! To thiose callign to publish it'd be very difficult since it's 1) sort fo already published as an adventure 2) speaking as a publisher the sheer volume of references and rewrites to IP would give a lawyer fits. There's a reason Dresden doesn't make very many direct references.
Still overall very good read I enjoyed the hell out of this.
Yeah, I figured the latter at the bare minimum. I do appreciate the sentiments, though. And I am glad you enjoyed it.
By the way, CC journal is up, in case anyone is interested. Linky.
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Yeaah! I finally got caught up!
I must say: The early parts of your Epilogue sound disturbingly prescient . . . .
Yeaah! I finally got caught up!
I must say: The early parts of your Epilogue sound disturbingly prescient . . . .
Interestingly, I planned for some kind of civil war to be happening on earth when Kyle got back ever since early book 2.
At the time, I was planning on it being some kind of cult hacking into US military drones. Then it evolved into
Also, Kyle and Juiz probably could have solved a hacking issue in about half an hour.
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Interwebz-source-of-target feeblemind would shut down hackers PDQ. ;)
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Interwebz-source-of-target feeblemind would shut down hackers PDQ. ;)
Especially if you embed it in a cat video.
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Interwebz-source-of-target feeblemind would shut down hackers PDQ. ;)Especially if you embed it in a cat video.
LoL
That is a fascinate effect that permits hourly Will saves. ;)