It’s night. You see a castle. This castle belongs to the evil wizard
Taraktus. The castle’s high towers and jagged walls glow in the light
like the dull white of a skull. You sense magic in the air; you are
struck by stillness and assaulted by the smell of death.
Then you hear footsteps …
.
I don't turn on a light, I don't eat the peanuts, I don't meet anyone from Phobos, I die painfully from protein loss in the transporter, and my corpse is eaten by a penguin-shaped depressed robotic grue singing a dirge about petunias.