Insult Rappin'

[JTDV]

You're an alliteration of an illiterate allegory.

I feast on the mike like it's making me full!

[I'm Hiding In Your Closet]

Your rhymes make my brain want to leap out of my skull!

I am all things, the Alpha and Omega!

[Goblinbane]

Clown you're sitting on the corner looking like a begga'

I'm sitting in my penthouse on the 50th floor

[I'm Hiding In Your Closet]

But like Trump, you're insolvent and secretly poor!*

I eat sandwiches and sushi from the finest tuna!

*:

Pure speculation, but....

[Goblinbane]

I don't dig your hu-ma'

I be killin

[GoatToucher]

You're just a little fish: I'm the Big Kahuna.

My flow comes at you like a bolt of lightning!

[Dormin, the Colossal]

That's sad, it does not seem very frightening

My armor is black, it's spikes are lethal

[JTDV]

It's nice when you can do your sketch on an easel.

My rhymes are so fire they burn down your house!

[Sissyl]

All you do is whine, grump and grouse

All I touch gets radiant and spectacular!

[I'm Hiding In Your Closet]

You yourself were touched by something fiendish and tentacular....

The entire universe is my endless playground!

[Ventnor]

But your lack of skills leaves you lying in a smoking mound!

My disintegrator ray is ready to fire!

[I'm Hiding In Your Closet]

It only tickles, and draws you my ire!

Even in a palace, I live life well, just like Marcus Aurelius!

[Sliska Zafir]

But your palatial pronouncements are trite and supercilious.

Like quiksilver, my poetry flows.

[Sissyl]

Like the wind, your insult blows.

I am mighty and powerful!

[I'm Hiding In Your Closet]

How many shreds of your face have I got? A lawnmower-full!

I flawlessly translate Hungarian to English!

[Pulg]

...But you're more EL James-esque than Dr. Chuck Tinglish.

I'll sweep all before me with my purple curple...

[Sliska Zafir]

Non-fans give you a nurple 'cause you're snurple.

I am #1, all others are #2 or less.

[I'm Hiding In Your Closet]

You look like a disgusting sewer mess.

I'm ahead of the curve, I live in the future!

[Ventnor]

But only 'cause you steal from your friends like a moocher!

My rhymes will make your head explode!

[JTD]

Not if I go ahead and shunt that diode.

I flow like a river and spit like a panther!

[Sliska Zafir]

Snow makes you shiver, and split like an antler.

My rhymes are divine, making you feel like a warm orange.

[Pulg]

You're the heretical Scot who put the 'n' in 'porringe'

I skwirl and hoot like an hundred pipers...

[I'm Hiding In Your Closet]

You're waistline's so big, the only belt that fits you is Kuiper's!

I'm a master planeswalker, I surf the Astral!

[JTDV]

It's like I'm following a red, bouncing ball.

I step on the stage and the crowd goes wild!

[Ventnor]

But they're soon let down by your raps so mild!

I'm the Lava MC, fire flows through my veins!

[Pulg]

You sound like a hippo that's come down with 'The Strains'

I'll clean you out like I was Senokot...

[Sliska Zafir]

But the stain left behind will make you want a petticoat.

Revel in rapture as I sussurate soothingly.

[I'm Hiding In Your Closet]

I'll give you a performance that ends John-Wilkes-Boothingly!

I'm the Robespierre of Rap, I send jive to the guillotine!

[JTDV]

More like Wilford Brimley, "Eat your Ovaltine!"

I keep the rock flowing like a hip-hop hopscotch!

[Goblinbane]

If I know you then you are sure to botch.

I make all the goblins go crazy.

[Ventnor]

But like everything else, your rhymes are tired and lazy!

MCs crouch in fear of my lyrical style!

[Goblinbane]

You make everyone call you by your nickname Ventnor, but I know who you really are...KYLE.

I make people bow down.

[Sliska Zafir]

Then, in their face you chow down.

I can rhyme, the likes of which the world has never seen.

[I'm Hiding In Your Closet]

You only ever get the worst sorts of Bertie Bott's Every-Flavor Beans!

I am a master of magic - arcane, divine, alchemical, and psychic!

[Ventnor]

But you’re knocked down flat by a single brick!

My flow is unstoppable, my rhymes too real!

[Goblinbane]

However your personality just doesn't appeal!

My presence is monumental.

[Sissyl]

But your rhymes are excremental!

Every challenger just melts before me.

[JTDV]

We hear you: "Instagram please adore me!"

When I step up, MC's step down.

[Pulg]

Then you step into a pit filled with 'Nutty Brown'

I rule the skies like a Mighty Hawk...

[Goblinbane]

Yet when you see me you gawk!

I drop the mic and it steams for days.

[I'm Hiding In Your Closet]

It steams from the residue of your abiding malaise.

I pioneered the magic of oneirogenesis!

[Sliska Zafir]

Your imagined rain-icorn became your pansy hero's nemesis.

With a wave of my hand, and a sussuration, my legend grows to infinite quantification.

[JTD]

With a bla bla bla, and a bla bla bla, nice pontification!

My spittin skills is beyond you fools!

[Ventnor]

Your spittin’ skills are limited to making fizzy drools!

My rhymes are hotter and brighter than the noonday sun!

[Sliska Zafir]

Your slimes' car daughter band slighter when the ballon weigh fun.

Even my belches reduce ace rappers to waste.

[I'm Hiding In Your Closet]

Such bile explains your absence of taste!

I'm a master of fright, and a demon of light, and I'll scare you right out of your pants!

[Pumpkin the Paladin]

I'm a fiend-bitin', evil-smitin' Plaludlin, and now you're deader than Rosencrantz.

All the succubi in the Abyss flock 'round when I prepare to Lay On Hands...

[JTDV]

Laying hands on cans, I understands, but your rapping just gave me the rans.

I'm the MCs' champ, you smell what I'm baking?

[Sliska Zafir]

You're a DC Tramp, I tell that you're faking.

My rapid rippin' rhymes make the ladies swoon.

[Pulg]

They swoon because of the stench arising from your pantaloons.

The eighth wonder of the world is right here in my britches...