Man, you took ugly lessons from the Gorillas in the Mist
My rhymes, they are fly. My style, it is dope.
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You're about as much use as a Calvinist Pope
No man is an island, but I'm a lost continent...
Made entirely out of belly button lint!
I resurrect dead threads by the hundreds of thousands...
To bad they're covered by poison mold!
Prepare to face my ultimate form!
You can count every wrinkle on my fabulous balls
I'm the Nabob of Gonads, the Grand Testiculator
Except your own were eaten by an angry alligator!
My raps blaze hot like lyrical fire!
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:sits up slowly: "Why am I dripping mits goo?"
I'm the illest in the land: Farm animal disturber!
You gargle damp gravel and smell like a tent.
I'm an anvil-cuttin' champ just like Dick Lionheart...
You need to lay of that sauce, son: your brain's melted from booze!
I'm slingin' that flayva like an Iron Chef.
But you'll only be remembered for being stung by a bee!
My rhymes are so fresh, they smell like freshly-picked apples!
You're the fake drake who put the 'crap' into 'scrapple'
I'm the hairy MC with the healthy wet nose...
Chocolate eggs 'n' matzo bread 'n' turkey = non-stop puke-ah!
I'm the arch-Archbishop with the solid gold cassock...
Bro, how you'd burn me can't even be rationalized!
I'm the kingpin of Monopoly, and I don't apologize in Sorry!
But the way you play Risk leaves your soldiers sick and tarry!
After I drop dope rhymes your jaw falls to the floor!
But your tap's on cold water and you fell for my trap!
Your thread's a spiderweb the Norn's ready to snip!
Your jig's patchwork, your soul's jury-rigged.
Pardon my derision, but I've risen above you.
Because I kicked you so hard in the butt that you flew!
My raps are like a supernova, they blast you from space!
Your rhymes couldn't be more sissy if they were covered in lace!
I set the status to quo, my clothes are tomorrow's style!
Your game's tied 0-0 and the board is disjointed
If wits were pins, I'd be a porcupine.
So does you moms: at night I got her screamin' and moanin'
I'm a stone crazy brutha: a creature of Id!
But your stamina could fit in a teapot lid!
My flow is unstoppable, my rhymes hard as steel!
Your blustering wouldn't startle a group of sleepy penguins!
I got gold-plated gilding on my electrum bling!
But it's worth much less than a wooden ring!
I style over all, the MC Assassin!
Lysol your style that's all we're askin
This is the part where I throw down the mike
Get back to your job at the
Renaissance Faire!
Feeling like rappin and rhymin a bit.
My mike is on fire: that's why you fear it!
I harness the energy of underworld lords!
Aren't you the leader of the underwear hordes?
I'm cultivating and hoeing the posers.
You might want to wash that off your face before I throw you outside with all the other brown-nosers.
I may be new but I'm here to play, so give it your best shot no matter what time or day.
Compared to you, a pimple is Jack Harkness!
Scrub you out with neutrogena and a belt sander.
That was a boast? Let me take a gander.
I am the bane of this whole thread.
You're a weevil in a sack of mouldy Wonderbread.
I'll chew on your soul like I was Lady Teldra...