Insult Rappin'

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Silver Crusade

One person boasts with one half of a statement

"With the strength of one arm, ten people I've beaten"

Then the next poster finishes it

"By the size of your gut, I'd guess they were eaten!"

Then they boast

"My arms are like tree trunks"

Bonus points for rhyming
I'll start:

My toe is registered as a lethal weapon.

Scarab Sages

You were arrested for concealing it by Lieutenant Frank Drebin.

I once swore an oath I'd outlast planet Saturn.

But you couldn't even beat up on a knitting pattern.

I can ride through the night just like Paul Revere...

The Exchange

1 person marked this as a favorite.

The only thing you're mounting is a horse's rear.

No one can beat me; Tirq, the Fighter!

Scarab Sages

You couldn't beat a match with a butane lighter!

My sorcery can topple nations.

the girls you bed all get crab infestations

I got big guns, they call me the Bismark

<sways awkwardly out of time with the music>

"I feel unhappy with the state of your dress.

Please exit the building, when convenient, lest I become cross."

1 person marked this as a favorite.

You're green and flaccid, just like sphagnum moss

But I'm the Thassilonian cowboy, OOOOOH, they call me the Runelord of Love

The Exchange

You're worse than the feat "Death from Above!"

Me? I'm better than "Crane Wing"

And my hair was styled by the Thing

from the Fantastic Four, with Galactus

Silver Crusade

Your rappin' does nothing but confuse us,

In Rappan, we survived going down the well.

Scarab Sages

You reached the bottom and burned in Hell.

All that I touch is turned to WIN.
What the hell,
where you been;
I landed my spaceship on Uranus,

Scarab Sages

You're as uncool as Hamlet was Danish.

My mind is mighty, near to a god....

You're hollow and sleepy, just like Ichabod!

I've got more $$ than Cayden's had hangovers...

Silver Crusade

And you lost a fight with a toy lawnmower

I shot a man in reno and he died thirteen times

Scarab Sages

2 people marked this as a favorite.

You're so unlucky, you got mixed up in an East Coast/West Coast feud between mimes!

My hands are always fresh and clean.


If stupid was cool, then they'd call you James Dean.

My rhymes are precise like a medical laser.

You were arrested by barbarians and fried with a taser

I am the master of disaster and I have come for Zerok the Zeezelbubz..


You got a worse record than the Chicago Cubs.

They call me Sriracha 'cause I got hot sauce.

The Giants are the world series Champs cause we're the boss

I destroyed 4 planets with a magnet, and now I can see an orc beauty pageant.

Scarab Sages

I won't even bother to rhyme, I'll just say it: What a terrible choice of viewing.

My Will is made from stainless steel.

Silver Crusade

But the ladies think you have no @#$ appeal!

I fight better than Keanu Reaves.

Hold on - what's that trickling down your rusty greaves?

They call me Mr Asmodeus, mi find chaos odious, pat mi on the back they say mi Lord of Hell...

Scarab Sages

For the Tyrant Iconic, I find it ironic that you cannot spell the word "me" very well.

The rules need not apply to me, my aura warps Reality.

Silver Crusade

Yet light work drains your vitality.

i destroy worlds with just a thought!

Scarab Sages

Your billion-dollar house there was all for naught?

I am this thread's greatest boaster.

Silver Crusade

I can one-shot you with a +5 Toaster!

When I go outside, the ladies swoon.

Scarab Sages

You look like an R. Crumb cartoon.

I won a debate against Spock and Q.

Silver Crusade

You spend at least an hour a day in the loo

I rule the vampires as overlord


Marty McFly ran you over with his hoverboard.

Check out my grills and my big gold chains!

Scarab Sages

You're as tasteless as boiled brains!

I'm a pseudonatural lich!


Even with tentacles, your armpits itch!

Check out the shine on my +5 axe!

The Exchange

Are you a Kobold? I couldn't tell, you look like a Rat!

Can you tell how strong I am?

Your odor so strong, sent my nose on the lam.

I'm a big sturdy orc with teeth of green.
If you give me the dis, I'll rupture your spleen.

Scarab Sages

Wanna know why orcs are mean?
They're sad they have such crummy genes!

I was born with the gift of laughter, and a sense that the world was mad.

Silver Crusade

But once your jokes are over, the world is quite glad.

I'm the master of roundhouses, beaten only by Chuck Norris

Scarab Sages

You are old and can barely lift your legs, rather like a brontosaurus.

Chuck Norris is so far beneath me, Bruce Lee called me "Master."

Then he gracefully farted in your general direction and put both your legs in plaster.

I'm the monarch of the microphone, you can tell by my crown and robes

The Exchange

Your robes make you fatter than a globe.

I'm stronger than Conan x5.

Silver Crusade

You met your demise at an angry bee hive!

I'm the sneakiest of ninjas, undetected by all.

Shadow Lodge

You call yourself a ninja? Fool, it's like you're 2 feet tall!

It's time for a true display of skill
for rhymes that were bred to kill
slay any dragon, these words will
Anything you say shall be nil.

Silver Crusade

Gonna smack you around like Beta Ray Bill,
you're going to need an ibuprofen pill,
and if you get back again I will
grind you inside a grindstone mill

I know what you're thinking you're thinking that you can out-think me but you can't frankly!


Your ankles are insufficiently ankly!

You know I bowl better than the Dude's friend Donnie.

Scarab Sages

You're as myopic as Professor Trelawney.

I possess the Second, Third, Fourth, and Fifth Sight.

Silver Crusade

Yet you're also lacking in physical might.

I'm nationally ranked in Settlers of Catan.

Scarab Sages

That nation being Afghanistan.

Everything I think and say is worth a hefty sum of pay.

Silver Crusade

But you end up giving it to the progentior: Me

I can teleports to anywhere I chooses.

(me is pronounced MAY)

And you chosed the colon of my favourite mooses

I can bisect a hair with one flick of my blade

Silver Crusade

And with a million trillion barbers, you sure as @#$% ain't paid!

I am the hiphoptapotomus, the master of rhymes...

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