Insult Rappin'

[Charlie Bell]

Nasty taste like tartare SPAM

My flavor flows like fine champagne

[I'm Hiding In Your Closet]

Tastes like the Newt Gingrich campaign....

I'm the Urban Spaceman, baby, I can fly. I'm a supersonic guy.

[Gruumash .]

Oh man oh man your smell though makes me want to to die.

I am still ruling this board and having to teach you all the ways.

[I'm Hiding In Your Closet]

The only ears that will bend to you are the ones in a field of maize.

The record shows I took the blows and did it MYYYY WAAAYYYY!

[lucky7]

If you sing again like that I will make YOUUU PAAAYYY!

I started this thread: just check if you doubt me!

[Charlie Bell]

Then how'd you go two pages without me?

When I showed up I brought refinement to this thread

[lucky7]

When you try to rap this thread ends up almost dead!

Boom I pwned that guy to oblivion!

[I'm Hiding In Your Closet]

You're as non-threatening as the average Bolivian.

When I walk up the streets, kings and queens step aside.

[Pulg]

'Cos of the foul necrotic aura oozing out of your hide

Women love me more than they love chocolate-plated Fabio

[lucky7]

Yet your wife pulled a hit on you from the Irish Mafio!

In an unconnected note, I'm a great hitman!

[I'm Hiding In Your Closet]

Your distaste for utility belts is a dumb reason to hate Batman.

If I really wanted, I could describe the whole world as a palindrome.

[Charlie Bell]

And still you sport that jingly cap on your dome

I walked up next to a mountain, chopped it down with the edge of my hand

[I'm Hiding In Your Closet]

Ripping off Chuck Norris Facts isn't edgy, it's bland.

I am the one-person Dawning of the Age of Aquarius.

[Charlie Bell]

That was Jimi, not Chuck--your position's quite precarious

If my rhymes were a violin, they'd be a Stradivarius

Your lame attempts to school me are laughably hilarious

I'm like a combo rhyming dictionary and Dungeon Master's Guide

Spoiler:

sorry had to go with the flow there

[hobbsdadolfin]

yet you have lost every competition, you have no pride

I am super good at rhyming, my skills fly beyond the stars.

[I'm Hiding In Your Closet]

You're not even fit to sing in karaoke bars.

I am in truth an avatar of Lord Vishnu.

[Charlie Bell]

My style beats yours like insult rapping ju-jitsu

With laser like focus I bring the cold funk

[Pulg]

Your focus, you joke-a**, showed how your style stunk

The 7 Wonders of the World cannot compare to ME...

[lucky7]

Your only pair of clothing is your crusty 7-year old Gi!

I punch through bricks with the knuckles of my hand!

[Flapjack Johnson]

You may have started this thread, but you failed your last stand,
for I have brought refinement, and put you down with the back of my hand.

Not even James Jacobs himself can remove me from the top,
all you amateurs truly need to stop.

[lucky7]

Silence fool! I watch your plans go flop
As I thwack you with the business end of a mop!

My mop swings do a lot of damage to my target!

[Flapjack Johnson]

Silence fool, lest I sell you at market

Now bow in awe, as I display my literary splendor

[Pulg]

You're about as impressive as a saurkraut golem of indeterminate gender

I've got a mouth of solid gold - I've got 48 carat lips...

[Charlie Bell]

You're like a cross between Three Stooges and Gladys Knight and the Pips

I take down punk rhymers like a lion takes gazelles

[lucky7]

When you raise your arms, we pass out from your armpit smells!

I'll be the last survivor when the demiliches rise!

[Charlie Bell]

And when they come for you, you'll be all like, "ummm... guys?"

In Soviet Russia, the next insult raps YOU

[I'm Hiding In Your Closet]

You think you know insults? You don't have a clue.

I am she as we are me and we are all together.

[lucky7]

But it didn't last: Your cooking tastes like leather

I can survive on the energy of the universe around me!

[Pulg]

Thou stuckest thy finger in ye cosmick plugge sockette and ye energye roasted and browned thee!

I've got a liver of adamantine - I can out-drink Cayden thrice daily..

[lucky7]

And you puked it up in our daily melee!

I could win even if Pulg wasn't puking out his guts!

[I'm Hiding In Your Closet]

If you think you could win against a clean dishrag, you're nuts.

I am King of Clowns, the Forum Games Ringmaster!

[Charlie Bell]

That last insult of yours was a rapping disaster...

I win so hard that WIN is made of ME.

[I'm Hiding In Your Closet]

You look like a cross between Dopey and Mr. Smee.

I'm the hero of fan-fiction penned BY Disney characters.

[Pulg]

...In a slash-fiction meltdown with BA Baracus!

I put the ram in the ramalamadingdong

Asking for trouble here...

[Charlie Bell]

...when you dance around the club wearing that pink thong!

My pimp hand's way strong like old school Bigby

[I'm Hiding In Your Closet]

When you try to slap people, it just makes them giggly.

I never, ever, give up or surrender.

[Charlie Bell]

You rap like somebody put your brain in a blender!

I'm more highly sought after than a next-gen iPhone

[lucky7]

Whenever people are in your company, they moan!

I am the master of drinking tea gentlemanly

[I'm Hiding In Your Closet]

You do Passover seders with all the skill of a Gentile family.

When I have weird dreams, in the waking world they manifest.

[Charlie Bell]

So you went to see the shrink at your mama's behest
The psychiatric doctor said to do your best
But you didn't break seventy on your IQ test!
The eugenicist took you from among the rest
Lined you up against a wall and shot you with his arbalest!

I laid a 5 line combo like Mortal Combat FATALITY!

[#1 FudgeCake Returns]

But I believe it is time for you to face reality
My skills beat yours beyond 10 fold
I'll make this thread see that your rhymes are old
I believe the baldy here just got told.

My skills are like goku; they're over nine thousand.

[I'm Hiding In Your Closet]

...Those skills being Craft (License Plates) and Profession (Cowhand).

I roll thrice and take the best result whenever I roll for Perception.

[Charlie Bell]

What? You're squinting like that diCaprio meme from Inception!

I was the 2003 Time Man of the Year.

[lucky7]

Because the person who decided it had too much beer!

I am a god recognized by EVERY culture!

[I'm Hiding In Your Closet]

Yeah, the one whose liver gets torn out by a vulture.

I am a walking encyclopedia.

[lucky7]

You're considered awesome by the Fox News Media!

I am the master of blades, spells, and scrolls!

[hobbsdadolfin]

yet in your profile, there is nothing under "death toll"!

I am no undecided wuss, my avatar never changes!

[Charlie Bell]

That's a fish, not a dolphin, unless your face rearranges

If Snoop's an OG then I'm an OGM

[lucky7]

Whenever you speak, we have to dodge the phlegm!

Am the master of the party, just ask my lodge!

[I'm Hiding In Your Closet]

Well, you're sure entertaining once you've had enough scotch!

I am Power and Glory incarnate.