The Decemvirate Just Can't Pick 'Em.

[Vint Penal]

Say, how many times have you been called up by a venture-captain and got told something like, "Today I need you to check out something strange in Rahadoum, so I sent for the born-again Sarenite and the devil-worshipping Chelishman," or "I've gathered together you four, with your outdoorsiness and knowledge of poison to go to Geb and bring back this book on embalming"?

Yeah, just last week, after getting sent to the one place I hate the most - undergound - to fight people and not place 'em under arrest, I get shipped out to the one place to which I asked never to return: Magnamar. It's still a dump, and they sent me to the dumpiest area in it to find out who'd been killing people. Oh, I found the perp, all right, who got away thanks to my entire team deciding as a group to start thinking with the wrong head. It was all I could do to get 'em aiming in the right direction with their actual weapons.

Oh, and this week, when I got back? Yeah, turned out that the the only four they could send to investigate some thefts and muggings - Torch said don't mention religion, and don't use lethal force - were a big angry guy who looked like an ex-guard of Torch's, a grouchy Dwarf who kept comparing axes with the hybrid guy, a purported Tien princess on the run who didn't even speak Tien, and that sword-swinging Sarenite broad. Two men, one dog, an entire warehouse, and a damaged gazebo later, and they all got beat up by the perp who was on top of the gazebo I guess? When they came around, they all started complaining about how they didn't know what to do, since they didn't get sent along with a smart guy who could, say, use a sleeping spell or make a cloud or something.

How do those guys, with their magic blame-deflecting helmets, decide who takes what mission? Blindfolded darts or rolling dice? Or do they just look for the first four they could find to do the first thing that needs doing?

[Michael Radagast]

I generally presumed that they took volunteers or, you know, interested parties. Didn't you sign up? :/

[Taorm the Mistmourned]

If I get to hit someone then I'd call it a mission success. Even that one time the Aspis locked me up...

A heavy weapon can get things done just as well as you sing-song types. I didn't hear anyone complaining when I dropped that traitor from the watchtower in the God's Market. Well, alright, the watch complained but I got the job done.

[Don Walker]

Michael Radagast wrote:

I generally presumed that they took volunteers or, you know, interested parties. Didn't you sign up? :/

This.

It's not the Decemvirate's fault or even your Venture-Captain's. You are the ones who show up.

[Drogon]

Heh. Well written, Vint. Hopefully it will encourage people to get a little more versatile.

[Thordin Stonehocker]

Don Walker wrote:

This.

It's not the Decemvirate's fault or even your Venture-Captain's. You are the ones who show up.

Oh really? Is that so? I can't begin to count the times I've been woken from the middle of a nice ale induced sleep to hurried off on some mission they need me for. Now, I'm handy with me axe and can kill things something fierce but don't say that it's all volunteering.

[Vint Penal]

Taorm the Mistmourned wrote:

If I get to hit someone then I'd call it a mission success. Even that one time the Aspis locked me up...

A heavy weapon can get things done just as well as you sing-song types. I didn't hear anyone complaining when I dropped that traitor from the watchtower in the God's Market. Well, alright, the watch complained but I got the job done.

"Sing-song"? Look, pal, I give public speeches, I keep people alert, and I disarm enemy weapons. I can even do haiku, too.

Yeah, when the only four guys who can show up don't know how to do something important, it'd help if they spend the first bit figuring out how to cover for themselves. If there are other agents around but the berserker really wants in and, say, shoves the priestess or the witch aside, then I'm gonna either have to use up everyone's curesticks or (if nobody has any) just tell 'em not to just yank out all the arrows that're gonna hit 'em.

Oh, as for that haiku, here's one on the house:
We get the mission/
I fiddle with my glasses/
I make a quip... YEAAHH!!!

[Drogon]

Thordin Stonehocker wrote:

Don Walker wrote:

This.

It's not the Decemvirate's fault or even your Venture-Captain's. You are the ones who show up.

Oh really? Is that so? I can't begin to count the times I've been woken from the middle of a nice ale induced sleep to hurried off on some mission they need me for. Now, I'm handy with me axe and can kill things something fierce but don't say that it's all volunteering.

Yeah, but the guy who does the "wake you up in the middle of the night" thing is old and daft. I think he just picks whoever is closest at the time and doesn't try to figure out what they're capable of.

[Vint Penal]

"Hey you, you've got a Wayfinder! We need a guy who can smooth-talk and haggle!"

"Wha? I just like to hit things and drink other things!"

"Close enough, let's go!"

[Drogon]

"Hey, you! You have a Wayfinder! That means you have what it takes to figure out how to solve all kinds of problems, right?"

"Um, me Bork! I kill things good!"

"Excuse me? Well, you're the only Pathfinder who showed up. Come with me."

Sometimes I feel sorry for the poor Venture Captains...

[Reynard "Rey" Heyerdahl]

I feel your pain brother.

Then again, should anyone really be surprised the guys in shiny helmets send us out without rhyme or reason? We're nothing more than simple pieces to be manipulated to the high and mighty Decemvirate. Just stay low, keep smiling and watch your back, my brother.

[Krunch]

Krunch always use right head.

Krunch always ideal candidate for mission, especially when Krunch get to smash Elfies and Stunties. That make Krunch smile.

Stunties always seem to have healing for Krunch so Krunch not say anymore about stupid Stunties...

Krunch versatile... Krunch have 6 weapons! Some smash, some go far from Krunch, some go swish-swish-swish-kaboom! Yes, Krunch versatile...

[hogarth]

In another thread, someone compared Pathfinder training to military training, but I haven't yet heard of an army where one squad gets equipped with three medics and one radio operator but no one has a weapon stronger than a pistol, whereas another squad has two rocket launchers, three parachutes and a heavy machine gun but no radio.

:-)

[Alexander Damocles]

I simply don't understand these allegations being waved about. Every team I have ever been sent on has proved to be quite cohesive and effective. Well. There *was* that time in Rahadoum with Princess Isis, come to think of it. Abadar preserve us, that was a mess. Fortunately, once I got my feet underneath me again, we were able to finish the job, even if the cleric was busy moping about in the back.

I myself am capable with sword, spells, and books. Why are other Pathfinders capable of such versatility?

[Ivan Rockbreaker]

While I've not been sent on a mission for some time, I believe that whatever missions I'm sent on and with whom I am teamed with are a direct result of the plans Sarenrae has for me. Sometimes my team may not be the most cohesive, but I always have help from my goddess to ensure the success of our mission.

[Michael Radagast]

Hey, maybe the Decemvirate is really into social experimentation. Bene Gesserit much?

[JohnF]

Haiku - I like it! My "Perform(Oratory)" bard is preparing some now.
(it's the wrong ethos - he's Vudrani - but it's too good to turn down).

Onward, my brothers!
Overcome adversity to achieve our goal.

(Inspire Courage)

Here we are again.
Another midnight briefing - I hate Drendle Drang.

[Mike Mistele]

JohnF wrote:

Another midnight briefing - I hate Drendle Drang.

Especially because he always has that goofy "I am totally baked" look on his face.

[noswald]

Mike Mistele wrote:

JohnF wrote:

Another midnight briefing - I hate Drendle Drang.

Especially because he always has that goofy "I am totally baked" look on his face.

LOL. I always knew there was something about him that was odd.

Spoiler:

At least in Shades Of Ice Part 1, he's sick and has someone else finish the briefing even if he finds a way to get you with him while he is sick.

[Sir_Wulf]

Decemvirate Member: "Venture-Captain Dreng, I have a mission on the far side of the Wall of the World Mountains. There isn't much chance of glory from it, only ignominious death."

Drendle Dreng: "A good training mission for the second-stringers, then. I imagine that they'll be away from the lodge for a good three or four months. I have just the team for it."

Decemvirate Member: "Really? Who did you plan to assign?"

Drendle Dreng: "Some young pup from Qadira called me a 'half-senile old fool' when he thought I was too far away to hear him. He thinks he's such a diplomat: We'll see how well the mountain goats and yeti like his diplomacy!"

Decemvirate Member: "And the rest?"

Drendle Dreng: "There's a malodorous half-orc who doesn't speak a word of Tien; a twisted Chelish fop who thought I'd be interested in 'some prime herb' (whatever THAT is), and a drooling, gold-obsessed dwarf who has repeatedly led his teammates into traps."

Decemvirate Member: "Sounds like no one we'll miss, then."

Drendle Dreng: "Exactly. In fact, I'll ask their faction leaders to send them off on additional errands, just to keep them away from the lodge for two-or three more weeks."

[Arnim Thayer]

Arnim Thayerd

"I have been sent on many missions for the Pathfinders... I have learned that there is much that I did not know. I also learned I am not alone in that fact. But I have learned that if you send an Andoran countrymen down a corridor with a rope to tie it off, that can be just as good as having an experienced trapsmith with you... we call this an Andoran trap detector!"

[Daggid Ironbreaker]

Ah, I love a good Andoran trap detector. The crunch when the the trap goes off always makes me think of tearing a leg off a slow roasted camel.

Dang. Now I'm hungry.

[kinevon]

Thordin Stonehocker wrote:

Don Walker wrote:

This.

It's not the Decemvirate's fault or even your Venture-Captain's. You are the ones who show up.

Oh really? Is that so? I can't begin to count the times I've been woken from the middle of a nice ale induced sleep to hurried off on some mission they need me for. Now, I'm handy with me axe and can kill things something fierce but don't say that it's all volunteering.

Knock, knock!

"Uhhhhh. Who's there?"
"It's just the porter, sir. Are you awake now?"
"Yes, I guess."
"Good, then, sir. I understand that you just volunteered to perform another mission for the Pathfinder Society."
"I WHAT?!"
"You are expected in Drandle Dreng's office in five minutes. Thank you, sir."
Thwap, thunk, thwap, thunk....

Okay, so the porter has a peg-leg. What do you expect after years of carrying junk for those careless Pathfinders for a measly few PP?