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For historical inspiration, might I suggest looking to the Cossacks? They were truly inspiring.
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I would also love to be Iomedae's 'sword'...
In Polish this would be quite explicit as the same word is used for sheath/scabbard and vagina.
Two of my favorite:
Gorum's spiked codpeice!
Erastil's fuzzy buttocks!
I would also love to be Iomedae's 'sword'...In Polish this would be quite explicit as the same word is used for sheath/scabbard and vagina.
Well, it also applies for German (my language) and even Latin, as vagina actually means scabbard. Though of course, regarding a pseudomedieval Diety whose symbol is a sword,the original would be seen as the primary meaning (and isn't having these two meanings the point?)
Well, back to other curses:
I would prefer Rovagug!
May Zon-Kuthon and Shax cooperate against you!
Meet a Daemon!
(For Cayden): No alcohol!
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Sweet! I've been worried about this for Skull & Shackles, I'm gonna dot this right here.
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Go find the Aroden. ("get lost", obviously modern one)
You son of a gnoll lover! (refering to worshippers of Lamashtu)
Calistra's maidenhood! (something lost long ago or never existing)
Urgathoa's hunger (something unsatiable, unfulfillable: "So we just have to stop that orc horde with ten warriors and a half drunk dwarven priest? Ah, we could satiate Urgathoa's hunger as well")
Actually, a pirate calling himself the son of Calistria as a badass boast sounds pretty awesome.
"I am the son of vengeance, the father of despair, and the heir to the Savored Sting herself! I challenge any and all foolhardy enough to taste my accursed blade! Avast! The Wasp's Sting is upon ye!"
Y'know, I think I just found myself a character concept.
You could swear by the gods of Old Azlant, or possibly by Razmir's deception.
I've been keeping a growing list of Golarion racial slurs in my workbook. It's not terribly long, but we'll have to find a home for them somewhere. What it has revealed is that four letter "s" words make GREAT dirty words!
I've been keeping a growing list of Golarion racial slurs in my workbook. It's not terribly long, but we'll have to find a home for them somewhere. What it has revealed is that four letter "s" words make GREAT dirty words!
Share some with us, Wes! Pretty please? (Yeesh, Stingier than a Druman snipe-snout, I tell you. :P)
Edit: Oh hey, does that mean you had a hand in the Second Darkness guide and the slurs in there? Those're excellent! I'd definately want to see more of these in the Companion line.
Share some with us, Wes! Pretty please? (Yeesh, Stingier than a Druman snipe-snout, I tell you. :P)
I'm not going to go all out, I don't relish getting called even a fantasy racist... very much. Now let me run this through Urban Dictionary and Google in general to make sure it's not accidentally a real world thing... okay, I think we're good.
One of them that pleases me most, though, is "swoops" as a pejorative term for strix. As in, "Damn, dirty swoops." It's got that nice, one-syllable sharpness with the hard "p" punch at the end.
I think Sutter might have passed this along to get included in Nightglass, but I'm not sure it made the final cut.
For historical inspiration, might I suggest looking to the Cossacks? They were truly inspiring.
WHOA! NICE!
A few more I like (used by a very sweary elven rogue I'm enjoying playing at present):
"By Calistria's dainty quim!"
"Cayden's swollen liver!"
"Gorum's rusty b*llocks!"
(To express scepticism) "Yeah, and the Savoured Sting's a virgin"
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It's a little creepy that so many of these curses have to do with body parts, especially those of the female divinities.
Worse, I'm party to that creepiness, since my dwarven ranger Telvin is in the habit of shouting "Sweet Desna's derriere!" after narrow escapes.
:-/
It's not unique to Pathfinder.
It's been done for a long long long long time.
Share some with us, Wes! Pretty please? (Yeesh, Stingier than a Druman snipe-snout, I tell you. :P)I'm not going to go all out, I don't relish getting called even a fantasy racist... very much. Now let me run this through Urban Dictionary and Google in general to make sure it's not accidentally a real world thing... okay, I think we're good.
One of them that pleases me most, though, is "swoops" as a pejorative term for strix. As in, "Damn, dirty swoops." It's got that nice, one-syllable sharpness with the hard "p" punch at the end.
I think Sutter might have passed this along to get included in Nightglass, but I'm not sure it made the final cut.
My theory for what makes good cursewords is that the best one start with a front-of-the-mouth consonant like s, f, or sh followed by a short vowel-sound and then ends in a good, hard, explosive k, p, or t. Which would explain why an angry "heck" can be loaded with more feeling than the technically ruder "hell" (according to me, at least).
There was an interesting article in Dragon #245 (thank you internet) that had pointers on how to "Swear like a Dwarf". After showing it to the others at my regular gaming group, the session soon descended into a in-character cussing contest.
I also remember the 1st Ed. Legend of the Five Rings Crab book has useful hints on Crab swearing the sidebars that helped you get in character.
May be a market for a whole new range of PDF publications "Swear like a ..."
"Erastil's great rack."
Along these lines, my paladin of Erastil once exclaimed "By the stag's hairy balls!"
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"Urgathoa's blessings." - A curse of sickness and despair.
"Mercy of the Mantis." - A curse detailing a bad situation where things look bleak, referencing the red mantis assassins.
"Aw, s&+~." - Because simplicity is a virtue.
"<insert deity's name here>'s ****ing me this time!" - You're having a bad day, sometimes for the amusement of your deity or another's.
"At hell's gate." - A phrase meaning a dangerous route.
"Geb gibblets!" - A phrase showing displeasure, referencing Geb's citizens and their eating habits.
"What's next, the Tarrasque!?" - For the end of the world spell, press ALT+F4.
By Torag's left nut!
Sweet sunny Sarenrae!
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By Torag's left nut!
Sweet sunny Sarenrae!
"Lilith's cookies have molded!!!" - No better thing to say when you have rolled a 1 vs finger of death, right? ;)
EDIT: Truly, it would make babies cry. :o
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Curses on others:
"May Abadar put walls in your path and ditches under your feet."
"May you sign a contract you can't fulfill." (Asmodeus curse.)
"May you never spot your Lady in the Room."
"May Cayden never let your tankard hold ale."
"May Desna keep the best dreams and give you nothing but nightmares."
"May you find Deadeye's arrow in your side."
"May Gorum rust your blade and break your straps."
"May Gozreh send storms on your sunny day."
"May Iomedae deny you justice."
"May Irori refuse to prefect you."
"May Lamashtu birth your misfortune."
"May Nethys bring you destruction and refuse to heal you."
"May Norgorber find you."
"May Pharasma never see you."
"May Rovagug unmake you."
"May Sarenrae deny you light."
"May Shelyn never show you your love."
"May Torag smash your creations."
"May Urgathoa favor you."
"May Zon-Kuthon rake his chains across your path."
Curses of your own Misfortune:
"Why does Abadar judge me so?"
"My luck is in Abadar's Vaults!"
"Asmodeus tore the contract!"
"Calistria stings me!"
"Cayden stole my drink!"
"Why is Lady Luck against me?"
"Erastil gave me an ugly wife!"
"Gorum broke my blade!"
"Gozreh rained on my party!"
"Iomedae thought me a demon!"
"Why did the Irori refuse to teach me?"
"My unluck is the Monster Mother's doing!"
"Nethys denied me magic!"
"Did Norgorber took my fortune?"
"Have I been summoned to Pharasma so soon?"
"I am met by Rovagug's children!"
"I am burned by Sarenrae!"
"Shelyn denies my advances!"
"My forge was not watched by Torag!"
"Urgathoa showed her bad side."
"Zon-Kuthon tortures me!"
Statements of bad situations:
"I/You/We just got Gold Fisted."
"The ink well is dry when you need to sign."
"Calistria's lusts for your ruin burns too hot."
"You/I'm clearly not a Lucky Drunk."
"Clearly that wasn't the North Star."
"The Stag gores the hunter."
"The Blade was dull and brittle."
"The Waves washed the treasure away."
"The Inheritor took it all."
"You were schooled by the Master."
"Grandmother Nightmare must be dreaming."
"The All-Seeing Eye stopped watching."
"Blackfingers sent his poison on you."
"You must be undead to the Mother of Souls."
"The day is set upon by the Unmaker."
"The Dawn Flower refuses healing."
"The Eternal Rose has many thorns."
"The Father of Creation destroyed this day."
"Lady Despair laughs at us."
"The Midnight Lord sends his shadows."
General using names in vain:
"By Abadar's vaults!" (or keys)
"By Asmodeus's quill!"
"Calistria's Tempting Tricks!"
"Cayden's Cracked Cup!"
"Desna's Sultry Song!"
"Erastil's Bent Bow!"
"Gorum's Gory Spikes!"
"Gozreh's Green Gonads!"
"Iomedae's Shining Sword!"
"Irori's Broken Hand!"
"Lamashtu's bursting belly!"
"Nethys' Crooked Craft!"
"Norgorber's Nefarious Deeds!"
"Pharasma's Pearly Throne!"
"Rovagug's Rumbling Rest!"
"Sarenrae's Sultry Scimitar!"
"Shelyn's Dirty Dancing!"
"Torag's Heavy Hammer!"
"Urgathoa's Bleached Bones!"
"Zon-Kuthon's Silent Shadows!"
You shall move to Ustalav! (or the World Wound. Or to Ustalav which then joins the WW)
Meet a Devourer/Daemon!
You are worse than the fiends! (All of them! Combined!)
Aspiring Balor!
Zon-Kuthon holds you in awe!
PS: May you fall into the Pit of Gormuz!
And we need more regional curses!
"Now, by Aroden's sainted backside, I will END YOU." - A favorite of a particularly irreverent ranger I ran during Rise of the Runelords. A dead god can't smite you for taking his name in vain, after all...
"Asmodeus' Rod!" - A favorite of a double-entendre specialized Wiscrani rogue. Generally an exclamation of astonishment.
"Go kiss an orc/giant/ogre/otyugh/whatever."
"Fafhneir take you!"
Ripped off from the Fremen of Dune and bestowed upon an Aldori duelist I used in Masks of the Living God: "May your blade chip and shatter."
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And we need more regional curses!
Brevoy alliance. (shaky)
Cheliax justice. (merciless law uncaring of actual justice)Galtan order. (anarchy, often involving mob indiscriminately slaughtering on a whim)
Taldoran glory. (very faded)
Ustalav night. (full of unknown dangers and nightmares)
Quadiran day. (too hot for anyone to bear)
Irrisen summer. (summer that is barely noticable)
Isger dominion! (subservience)
Andorean news. (those ridiculous fancy ideas about freedom and equality, everyone knows that gods hadn't creates peoples equal, right?)
Katapesh discount. (a discount or a free sample of a new stuff to spark the interest)
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Even a Calistrian tart has more love in her heart (loveless)
You're about as accurate as a Lirgen astrologer (mistaken)
I'm as calm as a Kelish dervish (antsy)
You smell as sweet as an Ulfen before his yearly bath (smelly)
Sublte as a Shoanti (dense)
Free with his money like a priest of Abadar (tightwad)
Ghlaunder's blessing is upon me (sick)
Only Azathoth knows (stumped)
You must be Lamashtu's favorite child (ugly)
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And we need more regional curses!
From the lips of Fatima of Omash:
"Leave it to a Taldan to think that 'lush forest' means you cut down all the trees and drown everything in wine."
"Your lion-rutted she-beast of a mother will be crying in her jug tonight, Taldan dog."
"Who knew if you got a lion drunk enough it would shat out such curs as you?"
"Someone hand me a rag; I stepped in a steaming pile of Stavian."
Great thread!
Our barbarian uses "ROVAGUG'S WRATH!" as his battlecry.
Tangential but apposite:
I once had a dwarf from the frigid lands of the Linnorn kings who exclaimed
"By Torag's beard it's colder than a frost giant's balls out here!"
in reply to which
Wouldn't the balls be one of the warmer parts of the body?
Well, depending on the type of underwear the frost giant is sporting. ;)
Actually, the balls should be colder than core body temperature (assuming a frost giant is a mammal; may be a stretch...). This is actually the reason they're outside the body at all:
Sperm cells will not mature at core body temperature in most mammals (spermatogenic DNA polymerase b and recombinase activities exhibit unique temperature optima); to adapt, the testes assume an external position. Testicular descent from the abdomen normally transpires during fetal or neonatal life.
[...]
Scrotal temperature is a few degrees lower than internal body temperature. Several compensatory mechanisms aid in maintaining testicular temperature within defined limits. For efficient dissipation of heat, the scrotum lacks subcutaneous fat and is rich in sweat glands. A two-muscle system lowers and lifts the testis. The tunica dartos is a muscular layer of the scrotum. The cremaster muscle extends from the body wall through the inguinal canal, surrounding the spermatic cord. When environmental temperature is elevated, the muscles relax, and the testes are lowered from the body. Under conditions of cold, the muscles contract, pulling the testes toward the warmth generated by the body. Scrotal surface area contributing to loss of heat is decreased when skin of the scrotum becomes wrinkled due to contraction of the tunica dartos. Finally, a convoluted network of testicular arteries and veins, the pampiniform plexus, is responsible for counter-current exchange of heat. Warm arterial systemic blood entering the testis is cooled by returning venous blood, and visa-versa (testosterone is also transferred from venous to arterial blood, concentrating androgen within the testis). Arteries and veins are coiled around each other - providing a large surface area of contact
(link)
Contributor
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And we need more regional curses!Brevoy alliance. (shaky)
Cheliax justice. (merciless law uncaring of actual justice)
Galtan order. (anarchy, often involving mob indiscriminately slaughtering on a whim)
Taldoran glory. (very faded)
Ustalav night. (full of unknown dangers and nightmares)
Quadiran day. (too hot for anyone to bear)
Irrisen summer. (summer that is barely noticable)
Isger dominion! (subservience)
Andorean news. (those ridiculous fancy ideas about freedom and equality, everyone knows that gods hadn't creates peoples equal, right?)
Katapesh discount. (a discount or a free sample of a new stuff to spark the interest)
"You're/This is/etc about as trustworthy as a Shackles' treaty/parley!" (i.e. good until you turn your back on them)
There's also one really obvious species/racial slur out there, but at the moment I can't recall the name of the region in Mwangi where the Gorilla King is, so all I'll say is think like Heston (yes, I'm horrible, I know).
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Faster than a Katapeshian Minute. (The amount of time it takes for a new product in the market to be picked up and examined.)
More salty than a Shackles Sailor.
That's and act that would make a Chelaxian blush.
Even an Adorian wouldn't fight for that cause.
You have a better chance at laying siege to Absolom.
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Well to add to the heady mix, these are just a few of the oaths, insults and curses that I think won't get me banned =P
Gorum's B+%%~+$s!
Shelyn's Shapely Backside!
Bloody bones!
By the bright shield!
Iomedae's Unmentionables!
By the unspeakable name! (of Tar-Baphon)
Hellfire!
Blast and Bumfodder!
By Bes's Black Heart!
Cayden's Cods
Oh Hagspittle!
Bah! Dragonfarts!
By the Black Gate
Lady's Grace!
Holy Mother of Hamsters!
By Erastils Trusty Shaft
By the Black Beard of Asmodeus
You smell like an ogre's armpit!
Abadar's Arse!
By Cayden's Pointy Poker!
Hell's blood!
Over my still cooling carcass!
Oh Bug-gnats! (my witch Tangle says this all the time)
By the Pendulous Paps of Gyronna!
By the Blows of Torag!
Nocticula's Naughty Bits!
Have a care, Worldling, The Grey Lady awaits! (The hoity-toity Pharasmin Cleric says this often to any one who annoys her)
Shelyn's Knickers!
Blood and Stone!
By the Grave!
By the Thousand Stings of Calistria
I've left the more um...creative ones out =)
Calistria's dimpled bottom!
By Pharesma's cobwebbed thighs!
Shax's Shambolic Shanks!
Thrunies
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A few curses and sayings that have shown up in my games.
"Son of a Varisian Whore!" - Generic ethnic slur
"Hell-Child!" - generic parental curse against an unruly child.
"Bastard-Spawn of The Beast-Mother!" - Ugly, UGLY thing.
"Orc-Food." (Or Gnoll-Food, ow whatever-food)
"Drake-Meat."
"By Sword and Heart" - Iomadean vow
"By Sun and Steel" - Saranean vow
"By Salt, Blood, and Iron" - Ulfen vow - particularly those who still raid.
"... And in Galt, all the princes go about in hempen collars." - a phrase meaning yes yes, you're stating the obvious, everyone already knows that.
"How goes the night?" "The Graves are Quiet." - Traditional exchange between Lastwall warriors patroling Virlych when they change the guard.
"A Shoanti Sunrise." - Today is going to be really, REALLY violent.
"Lamashtu kiss your unborn children!" - May your children be born horrific monsters.
"Hellknight Justice." - phrase for undiscerning, brutal (but technically fair) force of law.
"Vigil Remembers." - Lastwall solemn crusader phrase.
Good ones!
Whatever you do, don't swear by Sarenrae's Glittery T*ts in front of a cleric of that same goddess. They tend to take offence - why, *I* don't know :P
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One of my characters is prone to saying, "Nine hells!" whenever she's particularly flummoxed.
Another will blurt out, "By the dark, greasy c**k of Asmodeus!" But only if it's certain to get a laugh.
Generic ad hominem (nanum, orcem, et cetera) for world views you dislike: You're Rovagug!
i.e. reductio ad Rovagugem.
"Even the Daemones are too good for you!"
"May you learn about your afterlife!"
"Aroden promised you a great fate!" (as it is moot now)
"You're too ugly even for Lamashtu!"
"I am truly favored by the gods. The gods I never asked for their favor." (i.e. Lamashtu, Zon-Kuthon...)
"Abbadon cannot be worse!"
"Merciful Cthuhlu!"
Hey, Cthuhlu, I'm gonna need you to come in on Saturday, mmKay? Thanks!
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May your necks feel the blessing of Achaekek's claw!
I'm writing up an Inquisitor of Achaekek soon.. I'll have to remember this one >=D
Gorum's Garters!