I have a lot of limitations when it comes to exercise because of joint trouble and asthma, so a traditional gym is right out. I like tai chi and yoga because they help build muscle which then burns fat and they are easier on me than some other things. Things like that, resistance or weight training also, are great when you want to lose weight. Now if I could just find the time for them...this semester I can't find time to sleep let alone exercise...lucky for me I can barely find time to eat. Which doesn't do me much more good than you, Bob, since I'm hypoglycemic. Did the not eating thing once, my freshman year of college 1.0. Along with obsessive exercise. I looked great, but the blackouts were a b!&*!. :/
Ah, well. Anyhow, good luck and I hope that the weather doesn't end up stalling your progress.
I'm working on some plans. I haven't given up hope. I really want to be the size I was when I left the Army. I was 220 pounds. I want to be there again. I can do it. I just need to put forth the effort.
Alrighty! I got some more pictures. I won't flood everyone with a bunch of them but I will post some of my favorites.
The broach in this one was my grandmother's. I found out that her brother was gay and she was a big supporter of the LGBT community. I never new that but we lived 3,000 miles apart. It's nice to know that she would have approved. She passed away in May, less than a month before I was flying out to visit her for my vacation.
I'm still not as relaxed in public as I want to be but here's one at the park. There were a few people around. No one seemed to notice so I'm not sure what I was worried about.
I really like this one with the water behind me. I was starting to feel more comfortable. Water has always calmed me down. I don't know why. I could be because I grew up on boats.
Here is the St Pauli outfit. I'm trying to be polite.
This is one of my favorites even though it's just a head shot.
I'm trying to unwind a little bit here. I'm a little to old to spin often. That took several tries to not have a blurry face.
I hope you all enjoy these pictures as much as I enjoyed having them taken. I was scared but once I was out there it wasn't nearly as bad as I expected. I want to do more. I have some new outfits. I just need to find time and good places.
I love the one with you in front of the water. Your smile in that picture is absolutely fantastic.
Thanks. I was most comfortable in that picture even though I was the most exposed. It was the last one we took too.
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I hope you make that goal.
I am easily enamored by creative people, and artists who create beautiful pictures amaze me (my current favorite is Hannah Lynn Disney).
I don't mean to change the subject, but do you, Lilith, have a DA page?
I do! It's here (some NSFW imagery there).
The 50 pound mark is from my friends. For me, I look for 10 pounds. I was treating myself to something sweet but with my new meds, that has been a problem so I need to figure something else out.
I agree with DQ; the 50 lb. mark is ambitious (and I have faith you can do it), but it'll come slow, especially when you hit the normal weight loss plateaus, and it can be really frustrating/depressing/demoralizing to have the next goal tantalizingly out of reach. Since you are watching your sweets, how about giving yourself a little fashion treat every 7-10 lbs.? Maybe a cheap pair or two of ear rings or bracelets or a necklace? Or a nice bottle of nail polish or an exfoliating mask? Just little things to keep you feeling positive and happy, and in touch with your feminine side. You can still get the wardrobe additions at the 50 lb marks too. (Loving the pics, BTW.)
I've found that keeping my protein consumption up, especially for breakfast, helps diminish my cravings throughout the day. I'm a big fan of plain non-fat or low-fat Greek yogurt (loaded with protein) for breakfast or brunch -- either mixed in with cinnamon (good for blood sugar levels), ground nutmeg/apple pie spice, and a bit of honey/agave nectar -or- a smoothie made with fresh/frozen unsweetened fruit and honey/agave nectar. If the Greek yogurt is a bit too tart, add a dash or two of vanilla extract.
As the Slaad mentioned, about breakfast (or just a tangent from the Slaad's breakfast mention). And you may already know it, but, just in case:
No matter HOW unappetizing you find food in the morning, eat SOMETHING for breakfast -- even if it's just a bagel or some toast. Going without morning feeding sets your body's metabolism into "storage" mode, so food you eat later in the day gets sent to fat cells for storage; if you don't eat first thing, your body thinks you're in a scarcity situation, so not eating in the morning makes it much more difficult to shed pounds during the course of your day.
I think the yogurt idea is probably better, for weight loss, than the carb-laden toast/bagel thought. But even carbohydrates in the morning is better than skipping breakfast!
Good luck, and great pics! I, too, like the water shot.
Yrs,
Alitan
Thanks for the pics, Bob! The one by the water is my favorite too. And the St Pauli costume is adorable.
Lilith, thanks for sharing your DA site, you've got some lovely stuff!
Thanks for the compliments on the pics. I'm hoping that I will continue to have more as I get more clothing and fewer pounds. I'm starting to enjoy this. You have all made me feel very welcome. It certainly was not why I came to the Paizo boards initially.
I do eat breakfast. I love breakfast. A typical breakfast for me is the Smart Ones breakfast sandwiches (2 of them) and some yogurt and either some lite lemonade or water. I have an energy or protein bar and some water or lemonade during my break for a snack. Lunch is some Weight Watcher or Lean Cuisine meal and water or lemonade. I then have another break and then when I get home for dinner I tend to have something like chicken and rice and veggies or a roast and veggies. Something easy to make. I then finish the lemonade I bought in the morning.
Lately I've been craving peanut butter cups. Those are my favorite and I don't know why I want them so much. I'm thinking that it may be more psychological than anything else. I have been known to sabotage myself in the past and I'm trying to avoid that if I can.
My biggest problem is exercise. I have the time. I have the equipment. I just don't have the companionship to make it enjoyable. If I find something stressful to the point of having anxiety, I won't do it. Exercise does that to me. If I'm with a friend, I usually can find a way to offset the anxiety a bit longer. I've tried listening to music but that doesn't have the same effect.
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Bob,
Something I learned on another forum from a wise woman, that for many of us MtF's, it is not so much about "passing" as much as being "presentable." At 6'2" 200lb+, I have to be realistic.
As a side-note, I have been taking sewing and quilting classes at Jo-anns. Yes I am the only guy (DRAB:Dressed as boy), but I fit right in. Very welcoming and socialable. The sewing machine is getting some use and my seams are getting straighter. Learning skills and jargon. Working my way up to more complex patterns beyond pajamas, quilted pillows and halloween costumes (where mistakes are easily hidden,first impressions are more important than details nor expected to last no more than a week).
Register yourself for the Jo-Ann's mailing list, 50% off class coupons.
Side-note 2: contact your local Tri-Ess chapter. Depending on how active they are, there may be occasional shopping trips to Dress Barn or similiar establishments. For these events, they stay open a little later just for us Tgirls to shop in a safe non-judging environment.
*edit: Sewing machines can be provided or bring your own. Try before you buy. :-)
There's a Jo-Ann's nearby that offers the classes and I have a sewing machine. I have no idea how to use it but I'm sure they would be able to help. The only reason I hadn't signed up for the classes in the past before was because they only offered them one day a week and I was working. I should look into it again. It's been a while and it's possible that they have seen an uptick in people who want to learn how to sew with the economy and holidays coming up.
I've never heard of Tri-Ess. I'm going to look into that. That sounds really interesting.
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Here are some resources and links for you. These are not "hookup" or p0rn sites, although a mistyped key will lead you astray.;-)
Tri-Ess: An organization for MTF primarily but not solely. Here is the chapter list. Many shared GLBT resources, events and local knowledge with an instant support network. No obligations beyond a small meeting fee.
Crossdressers.com A excellent forum for all T's along the spectrum regardless of the title. Each T has thier own support section for specific issues and very active Mods. Part of forum is public, others are for registered users only. Very helpful, very supportive, a lot of wisdom there.
Enjoy.
I do! It's here (some NSFW imagery there).I hope you make that goal.
I am easily enamored by creative people, and artists who create beautiful pictures amaze me (my current favorite is Hannah Lynn Disney).
I don't mean to change the subject, but do you, Lilith, have a DA page?
NSFW? You said my four favorite letters.
Also, I really liked that first St. Pauli Girl outfit. You looked very much like a friend of mine who did that same outfit a few years ago.
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Many things favorited. Thank you, Lilith.
Lately I've been craving peanut butter cups. Those are my favorite and I don't know why I want them so much. I'm thinking that it may be more psychological than anything else. I have been known to sabotage myself in the past and I'm trying to avoid that if I can.
My sister used to go to Weight Watchers and she brought back a story from her group leader, who said, "We've all got that one thing that we will crave when we know we shouldn't eat it. For me, it's Twinkies. I was driving myself crazy wanting Twinkies, to the point I almost went and bought and ate a whole box. A friend of mine said -- 'for the love of god, buy yourself some Twinkies and eat one a week or every couple of weeks. Better that then find yourself in the back of 7-Eleven devouring the entire Hostess aisle!'" The leader went and got a box of Twinkies, putting one in individual baggies, stored them individually (so no temptation to eat a whole bunch at once) and ate one once a week or every two weeks. That staved off the cravings and she still lost weight--and it certainly was better than going crazy in the Hostess aisle. :)
Something to consider. Maybe there's a way you can get a peanut butter cup treat that actually helps you stay on the wagon than fall off.
I've been eating more peanut butter lately, hoping that will help. I love peanut butter. It's certainly better than peanut butter with chocolate. I just have to remember that I can't have a lot of any particular thing. Right now those little cups come in huge bags and next week they will be on clearance. I just need to not buy them. Fortunately, the candy section isn't near the food section at work so I can simply avoid it. Not seeing the bags helps me not want them so much.
Great thread, but could somebody please clear up the St Pauli thing for me? When I clicked on Bob's link I was expecting to see something to do with a German football/soccer team (popular with left-wing skinheads, I believe), but that may be just me being thick...
http://www.stpauligirl.com/
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So tonight I went to a Halloween party and I'm generally a quiet person around people I don't know or don't know well. When I arrived, the few people who were there knew me or were expecting me and they loved the outfit. A couple hours in, someone I didn't know showed up and I didn't have anything to say so I had been quiet for about 15 minutes. She stared at me for a moment and then was shocked that I was a guy. Her boyfriend showed up about an hour later and he was also shocked. Later on a friend from work that I have known for about 5 years now showed up and he was scanning the room then about 5 minutes later he yelped. I managed to pass so well as a woman that even someone who knows me took some time to realize who I was.
I think I'm doing something right. I had a friend come over to do the make up. I wanted small bat wings drawn on the ends of my eyes but that ended up being harder than we expected so we went with spiderwebs. They were really cool. I don't have the skill to do what I wanted and she's really good at it. I felt really comfortable at the party. I think if I can fool people up close and I can fool people who have known me for years, I can probably go out in public once in a while.
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I am so glad the party went well and helped you gain some confidence Bob. :)
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Tomorrow, I get to officiate a wedding ceremony! (The soon-to-be-ex-husband of the bride has refused to deal with divorce papers, so it's just a celebratory thing, not a legal marriage).
I've already cleared with the bride and groom opening with the infamous wedding lines out of the Princess Bride! ("Mawwaige: mawwaige is what bwings us togever today...")
So this is going to be loads of fun, doubleplusgood to be overseeing the joining together of two of my best friends from high school (WAY back in the day).
Wish me luck!
I've never understood why someone won't deal with the divorce papers. Why stay in a marriage that half of them don't want? When I got divorced, it hurt but it didn't make sense to fight to stay when she clearly wanted out.
Alitan, I hope you have a blast. It sounds like you will.
I've never understood why someone won't deal with the divorce papers.
Welcome spite, the driving emotion of clearly too many people. They'll ruin others happiness even if this means rejecting the chance for seeking happiness for oneself...
I've never understood why someone won't deal with the divorce papers.Welcome spite, the driving emotion of clearly too many people. They'll ruin others happiness even if this means rejecting the chance for seeking happiness for oneself...
Yep. I've seen this happen particularly in couples where the problem with at least one half of them is a control issue. Even if they are unhappily married, they want to be able to control their partner's ability to seek happiness elsewhere. An easy and infuriating thing to do is block up divorce proceedings, which allows the control freak partner to feel like they can force the other person to stay married to them and thus trap them into something in which they are miserable. There is a creepy "you are mine forever bwa ha ha" vibe, but it happens. All the more likely if the partner is an abusive type who really does consider their spouse their property, of sorts. Even though the person can physically leave it still gums things up and keeps things from moving on, which is the inflicting partner's goal--to prevent their spouse from moving on and becoming happy. Or they might do it because they refuse to acknowledge that it's over.
I have never understood that mentality. I do understand if they are still working out details of the estate and children but not the overall ending of things. I would rather be alone than be with someone and miserable.
Yah, the soon-to-be-ex is a douchenozzle.
In the meantime, two kids later, my friends are having a ceremony to formalize their marriage; high time, and none of us care that it's "pro forma," so we'll enjoy ourselves and celebrate their union... better late than never, aside from the a$$h@t "ex."
I think that the control freak realizes they will be alone and miserable, and tries to get the spouse to stay stuck in that situation with them. It's pathetic and never works. But then again, neither does being a control freak.
Yah, the soon-to-be-ex is a douchenozzle.
In the meantime, two kids later, my friends are having a ceremony to formalize their marriage; high time, and none of us care that it's "pro forma," so we'll enjoy ourselves and celebrate their union... better late than never, aside from the a$$h@t "ex."
Are your friends sure there isn't another option? It seems wierd that theres no legal option to end a marriage if one party simply won't sign the divorce papers.
I had a friend of mine filed for divorce from her husband in the county her mother lived in, where she was at the time. Her spouse could not be bothered to sign the papers or attend, as it was accross the state. The judge gave him x amount of time to show up or protest, then declared his absence as sign enough he couldn't care less about their marriage, and declared them divorced. She also got uncontested custody of their daughter this way, all in one fell swoop.| 1 person marked this as a favorite. |
I'm glad to hear of the various positives in everyone's lives.
I have survived the hurricane with no loss of personal property, and my friends seem to be okay, although a few have been inconvenienced.
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I think that the control freak realizes they will be alone and miserable, and tries to get the spouse to stay stuck in that situation with them. It's pathetic and never works. But then again, neither does being a control freak.
I fear my step-father may be one of these. My mother has moved over 2000 miles to get away from him, but I have a feeling he is going to do everything he can to gum up the works just to keep her as miserable as he is.
Here in Washington, there is a way to end a marriage with only one person wanting it. I don't know how it's done but a friend I haven't seen in years did it.
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......
:(
Well discretion is the better part of valor, they say :P
I'm glad to hear of the various positives in everyone's lives.
I have survived the hurricane with no loss of personal property, and my friends seem to be okay, although a few have been inconvenienced.
Good to hear DM. That storm looked scary.
I may have spoken too soon. My cross street is closed off, and there is a LOT of damage there. At least one, maybe two cars crushed. A bunch of our trees on the other side of my building are toppled over with one desperately holding on to another tree, and another held up by a sign. The path to our backyard is completely blocked off by a fallen tree, and there are other smaller fallen trees in the area. The storm came from another direction this year and smashed my cross street to bits, it seems.
Well, I'm glad that your building wasn't damaged. Still, reading all the news stories about the storm, that is a whole lot of damage. Wow.
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Sorry Lynora!
Ok, what else can we stack to lower Will save?
I think there was a bard special ability that did something...I can't quite remember.
*groans*
I love you guys, but I do not need that kind of drama right now.
Sharing secrets that embarrass us, occasionally, can be cathartic, but sharing secrets that affect the well being of a child, is probably not a good idea, ever (unless it is necessary to protect the child from harm, those kinds of secrets need to be taken to the proper authorities, immediately).
Agreed on all points. And none of my stuff is secret. There are people on these boards who know the whole story and would probably have liked to be less involved in the drama. Things are at least peaceful now, so I'm trying to keep it that way.
*pokes conversation*
I think I killed it. :(