So my usual gaming group has scheduled a few game-days in the past few months. However, there has been an influx of people flaking out at the last minute, thus making the game-day not happen. I understand real life is important. But it honestly isn't fair to the people who make time to play and suddenly find out the night before that they do not get to because someone double booked that day or what have you. We even had one person come in 6 hours late because he got drunk the night before and woke up hungover. I mean otherwise, the group gets along, we all like each other pretty much, but this is getting on my nerves.
On a similar note, I also have a home game where 1 player regularly leaves early during a session without letting the rest of us know ahead of time.
We later find out why, even though the player tried to hide it from us. It was just to spend time with the significant other, which is aggravating to say the least.
So, is there anything I or anyone else can do? Other than find new friends/gaming group? How do we treat the epidemic of inconsiderate flaky gamers? Or is this just part of dealing with gamers?
Hm. Cut down the size of the group. Keep a couple of modules or one-offs ready for the casual folks, and invite them to play some fraction of the times, but in a more Beer & Pretzels campaign that drops and adds PCs easily. Your hard core players should have a new set of PCs for the Beer & Pretzels game, so you don't get stuck plotting their serious PCs around attendance.
Also, consider going virtual. I play via MapTool, and it does wonders for attendance that people can play from their own couches etc — and not have to change dinner plans and what have you. One of my most flaky players has since become my most regular because of this. Some people are hit or miss when it comes to social situations like games.
Get together for lunch or dinner, and have a big chat with your friends regarding everything you said here.
Remind players that game preparation takes hours the GM cannot get back if people don't show, and that it's inconsiderate of both the GM's and other committed players' time if people don't show at the last minute.
It's one thing if an emergency comes up and someone just can't make it. And sometimes, maybe on a rare occasion, somebody just plain forgets. These things happen. But when people are specifically AVOIDING explaining why they have to go (the player sneaking off to be with the SO) or not showing up simply because they can't be bothered WITHOUT telling anyone (the hungover dude), and this happens REPEATEDLY?--that's not flakiness, honey, that is RUDENESS and it is DISRESPECT to you and your fellow players. It is NOT difficult to take two minutes to pick up a phone or send someone a text to let someone know they will be late or are not feeling well, and people who don't take the time just don't give a crap. They may pretend they do, but if they can't take the 120 seconds to communicate, they really, really don't.
Hopefully, folks are just being a bit clueless and unaware of their inconsiderateness due to a lot of stuff going on in their lives, and a calm, civil chat will help make folks more aware and this will stop happening.
However--if it doesn't work or the behavior continues? Find some actually respectful, decent people to play with and learn of the great joy it is to have fellow players and moreover FRIENDS who make time for each other and stick to their commitments. These people can and do exist and it's worth seeking them out.
How often do you play? If it's once a week then that might be part of your problem. People have busy lives and a weekly appointment can easily begin to feel like "work". As DeathQuaker said, you need to get your players together so you can discuss what kind of schedule works for everyone.
I think you should consider playing every other week. This allows lots of time for the GM to prepare and players might begin anticipating the next session more than they do now. This arraignment has been quite successful for my group. Basically, it means we have an entire weekend between games to do other things (work, family, friends, etc.)
|
Dump the flaky ones, especially if they do it for rude reasons and without explanation. If a player of mine was six hours late because he was hung over, i would not invite him over to the next session. If somebody is not considerate enough to think about other people he is playing with, why would i be considerate enough to think about him?
Thank you for all the responses, well those with actual advice anyway.
My homegame meets on average once every other week but occasionally if we can, we try for consecutive weeks. The main reason no one has said anything is because the possible fall out, I.E. the player gets upset and "freaks out". But that problem will resolve itself as we only have 1 more session. I'm thinking more about avoiding it happening again.
As far as my game-day group, we play PFS so 1 person not showing up does not screw up the story or anything. But if enough people flake, we can end up with not having a legal table. We also meet maybe once a month, so if we miss it, that's 2 months between game days, which is not cool. I like gaming and look forward to it, so people flaking is a bother.
|
One thing I will say, spending time with the SO is way more important than a game. Cut him some slack and try to understand. Who wants to lose their loved one to dice and Cheetos?
Also, people are people, they have foibles. Summers are particularly bad for shenanigans and I suggest just finding some way to deal with it that you can handle. Sometimes that means talking to your friends and saying, "Dude, not cool." Sometimes it means saying never again. One of our solutions to a guy not coming regularly was to have a separate campaign for when that guy didn't show, so we had our main campaign and then a related tangent campaign with other cool characters and that was actually a lot of fun. We actually played a tangent game exclusively for awhile with a friend in overseas deployment and that was awesome. So it works out well. And you can just have kind of a more relaxed mood about it. People who are coming late can be with the rest of the party or have come down with the pox.
Something else that's worked well, anyone showing up on time, gets a hero point for the night and use hero points as per the GMG.
One thing I will say, spending time with the SO is way more important than a game. Cut him some slack and try to understand. Who wants to lose their loved one to dice and Cheetos?
Also, people are people, they have foibles. Summers are particularly bad for shenanigans and I suggest just finding some way to deal with it that you can handle. Sometimes that means talking to your friends and saying, "Dude, not cool." Sometimes it means saying never again. One of our solutions to a guy not coming regularly was to have a separate campaign for when that guy didn't show, so we had our main campaign and then a related tangent campaign with other cool characters and that was actually a lot of fun. We actually played a tangent game exclusively for awhile with a friend in overseas deployment and that was awesome. So it works out well. And you can just have kind of a more relaxed mood about it. People who are coming late can be with the rest of the party or have come down with the pox.
Something else that's worked well, anyone showing up on time, gets a hero point for the night and use hero points as per the GMG.
I understand that being with an SO(significant other) is important. But why would this player not just say so? This has been going on for a few months. I guess the deception behind it is also bugging me. When we started, we all agreed that we could make time for every game session. If that was not the case, then the person should have spoken up. We all have our priorities and that's fine. But no single person's priorities are more important than anyone elses. There are other people with SOs and they can make every session. Is this person that much more important?
|
|
One thing I will say, spending time with the SO is way more important than a game. Cut him some slack and try to understand. Who wants to lose their loved one to dice and Cheetos?
I disagree. I spend every evening with my SO, but i game with my friends every week. I believe that friends are almost as important as an SO, and so is my alone time, which lets me recharge my batteries and have more attention for her. And if you commit to coming to the game, come to the game and stay until the end. It is extremely rude to dump friends for whatever reason, unless it's an emergency.
I understand that being with an SO(significant other) is important. But why would this player not just say so?
We had this very issue just before the start of summer. Player had divided interestes; on one hand he liked playing D&D, but on the other had he liked hanging with the GF on Friday nights too. In the end, after months of distraction, he was asked to leave (basically.) There is more to it than that, but there's the gist.
I guess the deception behind it is also bugging me. When we started, we all agreed that we could make time for every game session. If that was not the case, then the person should have spoken up. We all have our priorities and that's fine. But no single person's priorities are more important than anyone elses.
And it's the right thing to do to tell that to your player. You're not kicking him out per se, rather you're eliminating a distraction (playing D&D)for him. That's what we did and we're all still friends. Sort of... lol
But no single person's priorities are more important than anyone elses. There are other people with SOs and they can make every session. Is this person that much more important?
Actually, person A's priorities are far more important to person A than person B's priorities. It's kinda how life works.
This person obviously seems to prioritize time with his/her SO over gaming, more so than the other members of the game group.
Present your issue to the person. If they "freak out", then find another player. People's priorities change - if this person made a commitment to the group, and then the change occurred, they shouldn't get freaked out by their own causing of the issue.
If they do, well, that's drama and idiocy you don't need anyways.