Deep 6 FaWtL

[gran rey de los nekkid]

When it seems like nothing is going right, try going left.

And put on some pants.

[gran rey de los mono]

Give a man a fish, and he will eat for a day. Teach him to fish and we will spend tens of thousands of dollars on a boat, dozens of rods and reels, hundreds of different lures and baits, and spend every weekend he can failing to catch anything.

[gran rey de los mono]

Everyone is allowed to be stupid sometimes, but some people are really abusing that privilege.

[gran rey de los mono]

If you think things can't possibly get any worse, it is likely because you lack a sufficient imagination.

[gran rey de los mono]

A train station is where a train stops. A bus station is where the bus stops. On my desk, I have a work station...

[gran rey de los mono]

Our parents spend the first part of our lives trying to get us to walk and talk. Then they spend the next part telling us to sit down and shut up.

[Vidmaster7]

Ha binged it. now that's funny.

[gran rey de los mono]

The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.

[gran rey de los mono]

If you have a headache, follow the advice on the aspirin bottle: Take two pills and KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN.

[Vidmaster7]

gran rey de los mono wrote:

The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.

Originality is an illusion.

[gran rey de los mono]

You should never interrupt your opponent while they are making a mistake.

[gran rey de los mono]

It may look like I'm doing nothing, but I am in fact actively waiting for my problems to go away.

[gran rey de los mono]

The shortest distance between two points is usually under construction.

[gran rey de los mono]

If four New Yorkers get into a cab together without arguing it is probably because they just robbed a bank.

[Just a Mort]

Orthos, this is wingstop

Also all that company Maths was turning me into a zombie and I nearly shambled in here groaning, "Brainzzz"

Good news is a session of body combat fixed it! Time to get back to more Maths.

[gran rey de los mono]

If you look like your passport photo, then you probably really need a vacation.

[gran rey de los mono]

Why the hell do dentists try to have a conversation with you while they have their hands in your mouth?

[Vidmaster7]

gran rey de los mono wrote:

You should never interrupt your opponent while they are making a mistake.

Gah I can't say how many times I've made that mistake. However I did learn I was playing with this loud mouth and he had a string of bad luck but right at the end he had me stone cold but it wasn't the answer he was looking for and didn't notice he had me. I started to reach out to congratulate him on the win and he told me he gave up before I could. Oh ok... cool.

[lisamarlene]

gran rey de los mono wrote:

lisamarlene wrote:

The one big exception to the "West Coast Potluck A$$#^T Syndrome" is the Standard Methodist Church Covered Dish Potluck.

Because a Methodist Church Covered Dish Potluck, even in California, is both humble and civilized, and even in California, there will be Pimiento Cheese sandwiches on soft bread with the crusts cut off, and three different kinds of homemade mac and cheese, and there will be molded jello salads with bits in. And no one talks smack, because they're too busy stuffing their faces with Nancy's lemon bars and Donna's coffee cake.

Having been to far too many Methodist Church Potlucks (my Dad with a Methodist minister, so I pretty much literally grew up in the church), I can attest to this. However, it really sucks when you (like me) hate pimiento cheese, jello salads, lemon bars, and coffee cakes, and only occasionally tolerate mac & cheese. Just please, please, please, please, please don't let there be ham loaf. *shudders*

I absolutely love pimiento cheese.

And good coffee cake.

But I'm with you on the ham loaf.

[Sharoth]

gran rey de los mono wrote:

You should never interrupt your opponent while they are making a mistake.

Hold it! You are doing this wrong!

[Vidmaster7]

gran rey de los mono wrote:

Why the hell do dentists try to have a conversation with you while they have their hands in your mouth?

Its for sure so they can laugh at you later.

[gran rey de los mono]

Two cannibals are eating lunch. The first one says "Man, I really hate my mother-in-law". The second one says "Then just have the salad."

[gran rey de los mono]

You should really take the tour at the pecan grove. That place is nuts.

[Vidmaster7]

gran rey de los mono wrote:

Two cannibals are eating lunch. The first one says "Man, I really hate my mother-in-law". The second one says "Then just have the salad."

Two clowns are eating a cannibal

One turns to the other and says:

"I think we got this joke wrong"

[gran rey de los mono]

A man walk into a library, goes to the librarian, and says "I'll have a cheeseburger and fries, please." The librarian replies "Sir, you know this is a library, right?" The man blushes a little and then whispers "Sorry. I'll have a cheeseburger and fries, please."

[gran rey de los mono]

Teacher: "Little Johnny, do you know how to count?"

Little Johnny: "Of course, my dad taught me!"

Teacher: "Great. So what comes after 4?"

Little Johnny: "5."

Teacher: "Right! And what comes after 8?"

Little Johnny: "9, of course."

Teacher: "Very good! So, what comes after 10?"

Little Johnny: "Duh! Jack. And then Queen, King, and Ace."

[gran rey de los mono]

"Oh no!" the Mrs. Kangaroo said to her friend Mrs. Rabbit. "It's going to rain today!"
"What's wrong with that?" asked Mrs. Rabbit. "The garden could really use some rain,"
"I know," said Mrs. Kangaroo, "but that means the kids are going to have to play inside all day!!"

[gran rey de los mono]

A man went to visit his friend, and was surprised to find him playing chess against his dog. Not only that, but the dog was winning! The man watched as the dog skillfully maneuvered his friend into checkmate. "That's the smartest dog I've ever seen!" cried the man. "Aww, he ain't that smart" said the friend. "I done beat him 5 times out of 7 today."

[gran rey de los mono]

A cruise ship is passing by a remote island, and all the passengers see a mostly naked bearded man running around on the beach waving his arms wildly. They watch for a bit, then one of them asks the captain "Hey Captain, who is that man on the island?" "I don't know," the captain replies, "but he goes crazy every time we pass by."

[gran rey de los mono]

One day a man tries to take an elephant into a movie theater. The manager says "Sir, I'm sorry but you cannot bring that elephant in here." The man says "It's okay. He's housetrained, and I promise that if there is a problem we'll leave immediately." The manager is unsure, but agrees to let them in. He checks in on the elephant several times during the screening of the film, and is pleasantly surprised that the elephant causes no trouble. As the man and the elephant are leaving, the manager goes up to them and says "I'm very surprised! Your elephant caused no problems at all, and he even seemed to be enjoying the movie!" The man says "I'm surprised too. He hated the book."

[Sharoth]

Wow. Another 2,620 posts until we reach the 200,000 mark. Start posting away.

Edit - Thanks gran. Now it is 2,619 posts.

[Sharoth]

2,618

[gran rey de los mono]

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are driving in the desert when their car breaks down. They decide to walk the 20 miles back to town. The brunette brings a bottle of water, in case they get thirsty. The redhead brings a sandwich, in case they get hungry. The blonde tears one of the doors off the car and starts to bring it. The other two ask her why she is bringing the door. The blonde says "Duh! If it gets too hot, we can roll the window down!"

[Sharoth]

2,616

[gran rey de los mono]

John went to visit his 90 year old grandpa out on his farm. On the first morning, grandpa made them both some scrambled eggs. John thought the plates looked a little dirty, so he asked "Are these plates clean?" Grandpa replied "They're as clean as cold water can make them." John shrugged, and ate his eggs. For dinner, grandpa made hamburgers. John noticed that his plate had little specks of egg on it. He asked "Grandpa, are you sure these plates are clean?" Grandpa snapped back "They're as clean as cold water can get them, now shut up and eat!" So John ate his dinner. After dinner, John was getting ready to leave, but grandpa's dog was standing in front of the door growling at him. John said "Hey Grandpa, your dog won't let my pass!" Grandpa threw his shoe at the dog and yelled "Go lie down, Cold Water!!"

[Vidmaster7]

gran rey de los mono wrote:

One day a man tries to take an elephant into a movie theater. The manager says "Sir, I'm sorry but you cannot bring that elephant in here." The man says "It's okay. He's housetrained, and I promise that if there is a problem we'll leave immediately." The manager is unsure, but agrees to let them in. He checks in on the elephant several times during the screening of the film, and is pleasantly surprised that the elephant causes no trouble. As the man and the elephant are leaving, the manager goes up to them and says "I'm very surprised! Your elephant caused no problems at all, and he even seemed to be enjoying the movie!" The man says "I'm surprised too. He hated the book."

Sucks for the guy that has to sit behind the elephant.

[Tacticslion]

lisamarlene wrote:

captain yesterday wrote:

Orthos wrote:

Tequila Sunrise wrote:

NobodysHome wrote:

I'd rather starve and stop socializing entirely than attend another potluck.

That sounds awful.

I'm not a particular fan of potlucks -- why does someone always bring some sort of cold carby 'salad'? -- but I've never had a horror experience like you describe. The worst that happens is inevitably one or two people go home bummed that nobody ate the dish they brought. Or not, often those are the dishes picked up from the supermarket on the way.

Pretty much this.

In my experience, potlucks are guaranteed to bring the following:
> Someone stops at KFC and brings a bucket of fried chicken
> Someone grabs a platter from Walmart's deli section
> Someone brings a pizza or three, usually from Little Caesar's or Papa John's
> At least two people bring deviled eggs (YUM!)
> At least three people bring salads that barely get touched
> At least one person brings a tuna-based dish
> There's either almost no desserts or far, far too many, never anything inbetween

But the one thing I have NEVER seen at any potluck I've been to is open scorn of anyone's offering. At worst, people get a bit disappointed looking when they have to take home a full or mostly-full dish that no one touched. But there is most certainly nothing like the open, in-your-face dressing-down that NH described.

People on the West Coast view potlucks as a way to try out for both being a judge and contestant on Masterchef.

The one big exception to the "West Coast Potluck A$$#^T Syndrome" is the Standard Methodist Church Covered Dish Potluck.

Because a Methodist Church Covered Dish Potluck, even in California, is both humble and civilized, and even in California, there will be Pimiento Cheese sandwiches on soft bread with the crusts cut off, and three different kinds of homemade mac and cheese, and there will be molded jello salads with bits in. And no one talks smack, because they're too...

I may have been wrong about Methodists this whole time - seems they have truly found the way to actual heaven.

[Tacticslion]

gran rey de los mono wrote:

lisamarlene wrote:

The one big exception to the "West Coast Potluck A$$#^T Syndrome" is the Standard Methodist Church Covered Dish Potluck.

Because a Methodist Church Covered Dish Potluck, even in California, is both humble and civilized, and even in California, there will be Pimiento Cheese sandwiches on soft bread with the crusts cut off, and three different kinds of homemade mac and cheese, and there will be molded jello salads with bits in. And no one talks smack, because they're too busy stuffing their faces with Nancy's lemon bars and Donna's coffee cake.

Having been to far too many Methodist Church Potlucks (my Dad with a Methodist minister, so I pretty much literally grew up in the church), I can attest to this. However, it really sucks when you (like me) hate pimiento cheese, jello salads, lemon bars, and coffee cakes, and only occasionally tolerate mac & cheese. Just please, please, please, please, please don't let there be ham loaf. *shudders*

Hh-hh-hhhaaaaammmmmmm-loooaaaaaffff...?

Oh. Oh, no.

Previous comment rescinded.

[gran rey de los mono]

Four men are sitting in the waiting area of the maternity ward. A nurse comes in and says "Mr. Jones? Congratulations! You're the father of twins!" Mr. Jones turns to the other men and says "That's funny. I work for the Minnesota Twins." A few minutes later another nurse comes in and says "Mr. Smith, your wife just gave birth to triplets!" Mr. Smith smiles crookedly and says "How weird. We had three babies, and I work for 3M!" Shortly thereafter another nurse comes in and says "Mr. Johnson your wife has just safely delivered quadruplets!" Mr. Johnson looks at the others with a shocked expression and says "Amazing! Four kids, and I'm a manager at the Four Seasons!!" The last man starts crying uncontrollably. The others calm him down and ask why he's so upset. The man sobs out "I work for 7-Up!!!"

[Vidmaster7]

gran rey de los mono wrote:

John went to visit his 90 year old grandpa out on his farm. On the first morning, grandpa made them both some scrambled eggs. John thought the plates looked a little dirty, so he asked "Are these plates clean?" Grandpa replied "They're as clean as cold water can make them." John shrugged, and ate his eggs. For dinner, grandpa made hamburgers. John noticed that his plate had little specks of egg on it. He asked "Grandpa, are you sure these plates are clean?" Grandpa snapped back "They're as clean as cold water can get them, now shut up and eat!" So John ate his dinner. After dinner, John was getting ready to leave, but grandpa's dog was standing in front of the door growling at him. John said "Hey Grandpa, your dog won't let my pass!" Grandpa threw his shoe at the dog and yelled "Go lie down, Cold Water!!"

That one was painful.

[gran rey de los mono]

Vidmaster7 wrote:

gran rey de los mono wrote:

One day a man tries to take an elephant into a movie theater. The manager says "Sir, I'm sorry but you cannot bring that elephant in here." The man says "It's okay. He's housetrained, and I promise that if there is a problem we'll leave immediately." The manager is unsure, but agrees to let them in. He checks in on the elephant several times during the screening of the film, and is pleasantly surprised that the elephant causes no trouble. As the man and the elephant are leaving, the manager goes up to them and says "I'm very surprised! Your elephant caused no problems at all, and he even seemed to be enjoying the movie!" The man says "I'm surprised too. He hated the book."

Sucks for the guy that has to sit behind the elephant.

Maybe the elephant sat in the back?

[Vidmaster7]

gran rey de los mono wrote:

Vidmaster7 wrote:

gran rey de los mono wrote:

One day a man tries to take an elephant into a movie theater. The manager says "Sir, I'm sorry but you cannot bring that elephant in here." The man says "It's okay. He's housetrained, and I promise that if there is a problem we'll leave immediately." The manager is unsure, but agrees to let them in. He checks in on the elephant several times during the screening of the film, and is pleasantly surprised that the elephant causes no trouble. As the man and the elephant are leaving, the manager goes up to them and says "I'm very surprised! Your elephant caused no problems at all, and he even seemed to be enjoying the movie!" The man says "I'm surprised too. He hated the book."

Sucks for the guy that has to sit behind the elephant.

Maybe the elephant sat in the back?

Then hes gonna block the projector Gran! now it sucks for everyone. good job.

[gran rey de los mono]

Vidmaster7 wrote:

gran rey de los mono wrote:

Vidmaster7 wrote:

gran rey de los mono wrote:

One day a man tries to take an elephant into a movie theater. The manager says "Sir, I'm sorry but you cannot bring that elephant in here." The man says "It's okay. He's housetrained, and I promise that if there is a problem we'll leave immediately." The manager is unsure, but agrees to let them in. He checks in on the elephant several times during the screening of the film, and is pleasantly surprised that the elephant causes no trouble. As the man and the elephant are leaving, the manager goes up to them and says "I'm very surprised! Your elephant caused no problems at all, and he even seemed to be enjoying the movie!" The man says "I'm surprised too. He hated the book."

Sucks for the guy that has to sit behind the elephant.

Maybe the elephant sat in the back?

Then hes gonna block the projector Gran! now it sucks for everyone. good job.

There's room to the side of the projector!

[gran rey de los mono]

Sharoth wrote:

Wow. Another 2,620 posts until we reach the 200,000 mark. Start posting away.

Edit - Thanks gran. Now it is 2,619 posts.

Sharoth wrote:

2618

Sharoth wrote:

2616

Should we just turn this into a countdown thread until we hit 200,000?

[Vidmaster7]

gran rey de los mono wrote:

Sharoth wrote:

Wow. Another 2,620 posts until we reach the 200,000 mark. Start posting away.

Edit - Thanks gran. Now it is 2,619 posts.

Sharoth wrote:

2618

Sharoth wrote:

2616

Should we just turn this into a countdown thread until we hit 200,000?

NO!

[gran rey de los mono]

And should we petition Gary for custom avatars for our glorious achievement when we hit 200k?

[gran rey de los mono]

2603

[Vidmaster7]

gran rey de los mono wrote:

Vidmaster7 wrote:

gran rey de los mono wrote:

Vidmaster7 wrote:

gran rey de los mono wrote:

One day a man tries to take an elephant into a movie theater. The manager says "Sir, I'm sorry but you cannot bring that elephant in here." The man says "It's okay. He's housetrained, and I promise that if there is a problem we'll leave immediately." The manager is unsure, but agrees to let them in. He checks in on the elephant several times during the screening of the film, and is pleasantly surprised that the elephant causes no trouble. As the man and the elephant are leaving, the manager goes up to them and says "I'm very surprised! Your elephant caused no problems at all, and he even seemed to be enjoying the movie!" The man says "I'm surprised too. He hated the book."

Sucks for the guy that has to sit behind the elephant.

Maybe the elephant sat in the back?

Then hes gonna block the projector Gran! now it sucks for everyone. good job.

There's room to the side of the projector!

Its a elephant Gran his ears or trunk are still probably going to block a little.

[gran rey de los mono]

2602

[Vidmaster7]

I don't even know what sort of custom avatar I would want.