I knew this thread wouldn't get far without an invocation of Firefly...
Yes, well, can you really blame me? The kind of situation you described was so much like the interaction between Mal and Saffron, the comparison was inevitable. Sure, the details vary a bit -- Mal's no Paladin, for instance, though I'd argue he's as strongly committed to his own ehtics as any Paladin -- but still, it was a very strong evocation that prompted my invocation.
See, our approaches are similar, but my take is in a slightly different direction.Picture as a counterpoint a similar paladin,...
Well isn't that special....
:)
Well, I been on the forums for like a year, and no, midget porn has certainly never come up that I have noticed.Part of me wants to say it was a bad eye twitch, but it's mostly the part of me that was caught off guard by reading it HERE.You haven't been here long, then?
This seems like the MOST likely place for it. LOL
I can arrange that.
I can arrange that.... Isn't that what this thread is?
This thread is but a pathway to potential internet links that some consider to be ... unnatural.
:P
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Add to the sex with 3 ft girls issue, a human would be painfully huge to a gnome. Think of a human taking on a horse, it has literally killed. Of course there are a few freaky masochists that might enjoy the hallenge
That's why we always suspected that Regdar became a loud, bossy Fighter to compensate being hung like a mouse...
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I just wanted to note that there are some legitimately hot dwarf ladies illustrated in the forthcoming Rival Guide. (And no, they don't have beards.)
Now I'm going to get the hell away from this thread before I get fired or arrested....
I'd say gnomes simply because:
A: Gnomes are known to be a lot more open in any sexual situation where as Dwarfs are often always inside and very private.
B: Gnomes are less muscular physically and have a much more slender body where Dwarfs appear to be built rock hard like the very stone they carve.
C: Gnomes gain +2 to Charisma whilst Dwarfs have a -2.
D: Gnomes are far more outgoing and Dwarfs often guarded about saying anything to anyone unless they get to know that person.
Those are my arguments :D.
Gnomes FTW!
I just wanted to note that there are some legitimately hot dwarf ladies illustrated in the forthcoming Rival Guide. (And no, they don't have beards.)
Now I'm going to get the hell away from this thread before I get fired or arrested....
The greater question: Would Jacobs agree?
Hot and steamy stuffOH MY! You don't write professionally per chance? Because if you don't you should consider it.
Flattery will get you everywhere, they say...
Honestly, I've written a novel or two, but I'm still questing for publication, as it's something of a sci-fi-for-people-who-hate-sci-fi on one count, and modern era supernatural series for the others.
If there was a market for it, I'd totally work the fantasy themed erotica that was far, far more than PWP - as it is, the closest I've seen is the Hot Blood set, and things along those lines. Seldom do I see straight-up fantasy novels that leave the 'goods' in.
I can arrange that.Well, I been on the forums for like a year, and no, midget porn has certainly never come up that I have noticed.Part of me wants to say it was a bad eye twitch, but it's mostly the part of me that was caught off guard by reading it HERE.You haven't been here long, then?
This seems like the MOST likely place for it. LOL
There are quotes that come to mind from a certain image-board that shan't be named, three words in length, of which I will opt for merely two.
DO IT.
Add to the sex with 3 ft girls issue, a human would be painfully huge to a gnome. Think of a human taking on a horse, it has literally killed. Of course there are a few freaky masochists that might enjoy the challengeThat's why we always suspected that Regdar became a loud, bossy Fighter to compensate being hung like a mouse...
Tsk, tsk, we shouldn't be so hard on him...heck, he's not even so hard on himself!
[ooc*crickets go here*[/ooc]
I'd say gnomes simply because:
A: Gnomes are known to be a lot more open in any sexual situation where as Dwarfs are often always inside and very private.
B: Gnomes are less muscular physically and have a much more slender body where Dwarfs appear to be built rock hard like the very stone they carve.
C: Gnomes gain +2 to Charisma whilst Dwarfs have a -2.
D: Gnomes are far more outgoing and Dwarfs often guarded about saying anything to anyone unless they get to know that person.
Those are my arguments :D.
Gnomes FTW!
I am hard(heh)-pressed to argue these points, but as a friendly neighborhood Devil's Advocate...
A: The tighter the defenses, the better the infiltration, on multiple levels.
B: Some ladies like 'em rock-hard...and I've always figured female dwarves may be firm about the biceps and abs, but are perfectly soft and inviting whence it matters!
C: As inferred over in the Rule 34 thread, sometimes Constitution counts for a lot, especially in pursuit of a marathon session (though that would be more for after the show, not during)
D: Beware the quiet ones, for when they let their freak flag fly, you KNOW you're in for a wild ride.
I'd gladly take one of each, but I'm greedy. :D
Nebulous_Mistress and TheAntiElite are my new heroes and I really want to game with them.
::is late to the party again::
I thank you. Admiration is rarer than fear.
The question is... are you weird enough to have fun gaming with me?
Honestly, I've written a novel or two, but I'm still questing for publication, as it's something of a sci-fi-for-people-who-hate-sci-fi on one count, and modern era supernatural series for the others.
If there was a market for it, I'd totally work the fantasy themed erotica that was far, far more than PWP - as it is, the closest I've seen is the Hot Blood set, and things along those lines. Seldom do I see straight-up fantasy novels that leave the 'goods' in.
Here's hoping you can get yourself published. You've got better description than many of the published authors I know and/or know of.
There's two markets for fantasy-themed erotica. There's the one my grandma reads and there's a smaller, more fetishistic one. I recommend the second one for, ah, personal reasons.
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Nebulous_Mistress and TheAntiElite are my new heroes and I really want to game with them.::is late to the party again::
I thank you. Admiration is rarer than fear.
The question is... are you weird enough to have fun gaming with me?
Were it not for the fact that I can't to my normal writing site from work I'd indulge in some shameless plugging. At one point I was prepared to run three identical games, for general concept purposes, with three different levels of seriousness and/or silliness. The concept was, essentially, hunting monsters for fun, profit, varying degrees of necessity, and most importantly for shameless, shameless smuttery.
Honestly, I've written a novel or two, but I'm still questing for publication, as it's something of a sci-fi-for-people-who-hate-sci-fi on one count, and modern era supernatural series for the others.
If there was a market for it, I'd totally work the fantasy themed erotica that was far, far more than PWP - as it is, the closest I've seen is the Hot Blood set, and things along those lines. Seldom do I see straight-up fantasy novels that leave the 'goods' in.
Here's hoping you can get yourself published. You've got better description than many of the published authors I know and/or know of.
There's two markets for fantasy-themed erotica. There's the one my grandma reads and there's a smaller, more fetishistic one. I recommend the second one for, ah, personal reasons.
So as to not derail the thread more than I already have, shameless promotion of site via PM. And to make up for for the amount of derailing...
===
The mage stared up at the heavens, the stars that filled her vision of a purely corporeal, explicitly physical nature. For all of her snideness, her sarcasm, and her disdain, she had inadvertently ended up her words, washed down with a substance that under other circumstances might have repulsed her more than the barbarian would under other circumstances.
By the gods, she ached, but in a way that could only be described as rewarding. The tingles and throbs that coursed through her womanly flesh, in the most intimate of ways, made her thankful for the fact that she would not have to walk for a day or two. The soreness that had permeated her nether-parts, the wages of her 'deeds' from hours before, had subsided far more quickly than she would have imagined under other circumstances. She could feel herself tinting once more at the recollection, in spite of herself.
---
While the barbarian and the alchemist had found themselves gaping dumbfounded at the contents of the establishment named "The Coal Mine", she had found the contents vaguely mirthful. What appeared to be a dimly lit watering hole with a kitschy carts and pickaxes motif revealed itself to be an establishment of unanticipated eroticism. The women who worked the hall were all all dwarven, dressed in the garb of coal-workers, albeit worn from apparent work, baring flesh in unexpected patches. Perhaps more surprisingly, it became apparent that the strength of flesh of the stout folk was such that support was needless - she could not help but envy the pert suppleness of the dwarf bosoms...as well as the proportionate size of their busts.
As one of the two women in the group (the druid was too busy being fascinated by the strippers along with the other men), she knew her opinion was overridden by the perplexed and intrigued libidos of her peers. Rather than attempt to to coerce the party into departure, she opted to return to the outskirts of town to gather fresh spell components. On her way out, she'd noticed that some of the dwarven ladies were dancing around some of the ornately carved 'mine supports' that decorated the room, either pulling off their seemingly-filthy blouses, or tearing them off to reveal flesh that was far cleaner than the emulated environs might suggest. With the baring of breasts came the abandoning of any hope of getting the rest of her fellow adventurers to join her - her departure was very swift.
"Do they not have strippers in the lands of your birth?"
The voice of the cleric nearly prompted the mage to leap into the air. "When did you get to be so stealthy?" she asked, indignantly smoothing down her robes.
The dwarf shrugged at the human's question. "Probably when I first started serving the Hearth Mother," he answered blithely, "Though I think it was more out of self-preservation than deliberate will. I had to worry about garnering the attentions of the rather...'enthusiastic'...priestesses. Back in my initiate days, I was more like a typical dwarven male."
Her head tilted at his query. "What do you mean by that?"
"Obsessed with crafting, seeking only to perfect my family art ahead of all else, never taking into account the feelings of those around me. The irony was lost on me that, as a lawful people, we seemed to forget about the social order, and the good of others." He stretched, yawning, drawing attention to the fact that his beard was apparently freshly groomed, and tidily trimmed. "Once I understood the error of my ways, I threw myself into learning from the ways of the Homekeepers, my service to the Hearth Mother my all-consuming process." He paused, chagrined. "Some of the lasses at the Coal Mine are Sisters of the Order. They're on assignment, learning other forms of drawing the eyes of men, to better improve their odds of enticing a male to their private chambers."
In spite of herself, the mage found herself curious. "And what did you learn, in your time among them?" she asked.
"For starters? How to pleasure a score of women without dying or failing."
The sound of the mage's mouth falling open was almost comically loud.
The dwarven cleric beamed, waggling his bushy eyebrows. "If you fancy proof, I figure the ladies at the Coal Mine will be keeping the rest of the lot busy for several hours, certainly long enough for a bit of a quickie."
---
Truth had proven far greater than speculation.