My pedular impediments are colossaaaal
And I feel just like a fossaaaal
You got me walkin', talkin' and squawkin'
Because my [redacted] [redacted] [redacted]
The next person would like to recommend a diet to Fats Waller.
I recommend plate after plate of fennel. Followed by some of GT's rump ointment.
The next poster almost appeared in a commercial for GT's rump ointment.
And is still very sore.
The next poster almost got to play Terminator in the new one, but got kicked out after a background check.
Come on! I'm only banned in 47 states and 32 other countries - none of which are any locations where the movie is being filmed. Besides how was I to know that was illegal in those locations?
The next poster knows what that is and is also as shocked as I am. (Bonus points for keeping it safe for work)
Who would have thought that Paizo would make that. I mean honestly. I have got to go prepare the time machine. WE MUST FIX THIS!
The next poster is our brave volunteer to test the time machine.
Scuse me, young whippersnapper, is this the prostatectomy machine? The Pro-Sec 1500, with gruel supply tubes? Here, hook me up willya?
The next young whippersnapper sees a problem with the volunteer.
This volunteer won't see the difference between a decade or two! Let me test it, it's my time to shine!
The next poster is going to steal my shine
Your moonshine is definitely good but you need to build up more of a stock.
The next poster let it go.
KahnyaGnorc actually has a stutter and sometimes takes half an hour to pronounce his name.
And they disappear when I put on my tinfoil hat too.
The next poster doesn't think he/she needs a tinfoil hat
You're joking, right???
The next poster has an obscure, lame joke to share with us.
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You know how there's that one coffin in the Fortress of Fear in Might & Magic III: Isles of Terra that is described as, "this narrow coffin looks like it could barely contain a human form," and if you do, no fewer than THREE mummies jump out? Yep, it's a f*!#ing clown coffin.
The next poster is convinced of a greater conspiracy behind the demise of Corak and Sheltem.
I wo*^d te*l &ou al! ab02t it but my f*&^$ tin4oil ha1 is ru4ni3g my intern039 con390ec3t3i2on
The N#]xt Pose#$! h)s a B**Et0r in38ne4 con4e320ti*^
I did until my little brother broke it.
The next poster was first in line for the first Justin Bieber concert.
Front row seat - how else was I supposed to get close enough to go all Smite Evil on the little fiend? Little did I know that his Evil was just too strong. The physical and mental scars still cause me pain to this day.
The next poster shall take up the mantle and will succeed where I failed.
I TOTALLY did it! I convinced Martha to attend the roast of Justin Bieber... she killed it!... That's what you wanted right?
The next poster has always, secretly, wanted to go on a date with Baba Yaga... because love judges no age (or reckless infanticide)
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I always had a thing for them younger girls. Woohoo! Reckless Infanticide? Is that one of them new-fangled rock-and-roll music bands?
The next poster has a rather interesting theory that does not involve the Illuminati as to why companies stop producing really popular products that their consumers like and will share it with us.
Mimsy wimsy namby pamby casper milquetoast health and safety mad regulators no longer allowing them to do things like using health-giving arsenic as a colouring.
The next poster will grind my bones to make his bread.
And then give it to the goblins in exchange for explosives which I will use to acquire more bones. It all comes full circle.
The next poster does not believe circles exist.
* looks nervously left and right *
Of course they don't - circles are a creation of them designed to keep us docile and have us believe that the Illuminati is behind everything. Circles are actually octagons.
* runs off and hides *
The next poster does not believe that Paizo exists.
It isn't that I don't BELIEVE Paizo exists... it is that I don't believe it is NECESSARY to exist... kinda like those people who don't believe in NASA because space is "god's territory."
Now that that is out of the way... Paizo is a lie. Just like the cake. And the spoon. Get the educator to take you away from the shadow puppets and into sunlit Greece!
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The next poster enjoys doing inappropriate things with various barnyard animals that are wearing unfashionable hats
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The hats, oh the glorious hats. I put them on little chicks, and big ol' bulls. Then we dance the night away under the full moon. Then in the wee hours just before the sun rises...We throw our hands in the air and wave them around like we just don't care.
The Next Poster was touched by an Angel. Caught the whole thing on his/her smart phone and is sewing for the Angel for all of it. And I mean ALL of it.
The bad angel knew it would hurt those of us who sold our souls to our future selfs and yet he still did it! Sniff.
The next poster is someones future self who came back in time to warn us about something.
Don't use time machines! They hurt, make you sick to the stomach and make you look really weird!
The next poster has a detailed description of how you look after using a time machine.
It varies from person to person so you could expect any number of things but the most common physiological, or perhaps aesthetic response, is that people tend to get "The Rachel" for about 20 minutes... then... it just gets bad...
The next poster has a poster with some very unusual posts that are not in the slightest bit humorous :)
MATT DAMON!!!!
MATT DAMON.
I do, but never without warming up first. Stretching is important.
The next poster gives me regular rub downs to ease the tensions of the week.
Once I proved 1=0 so that the universe and therefore money would be created.
The next poster has a prophecy about them that they would like to share.
Countless moons ago, I asked the Ouija board who would be my downfall. I watched in horror as the board spelled out G-O-A-T-T-O- Unbidden shock and revulsion took over me and my younger self stopped the board there. Still not sure what it was trying to spell....
The next poster has the answer for me. Thanks, mate!
Go at torches. Probably a night procession of some kind. Don't.
The next poster is just not satisfied.
He should not have invited Message Board Troll. Talk about your total party killer.
The next poster also survived that party.
Barely. The horrors of that night do not deserve reliving.
The next poster is incapable of organizing a better party.
Bah....details, details, bonfire and roast meat is all you need.
Next poster has tested tiny gun before Mr. [numeral] and tell about experience.
Indeed. There's a certain part of my anatomy I like to call the Noisy Cricket.
The next poster will tell us a name for one of their body parts.
My rear, I've just called my rear Maria.
The next person has a unique and impressive body part they'd like to boast about.
The most magnificent foreskin ever to be grown... 7 inches long. I am sure the owner misses it dearly :(
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The next person has VERY strong opinions about Adam Levine's performance on American Horror Story.
The zipper on my Halloween costume when I was nine got stuck. But it was a great costume - I won "Best Costume" at three separate parties.
The next poster is secretly in love with one of the avatars on the Paizo forum.
I am? What? I didn't even know that secret... Oh this is a good day... I hope it's I'm Hiding In Your Closet, I secretly wish to be one of those people who aren't terrified of clowns. It will be fun to see where this secret love leads.
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The next poster knows who my secret love is.
Do I ever! :blows kiss:
The next poster knows what we get up to in that box.
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Artifice on the cheap, of course! Six gems plus a longsword yields a socketed longsword! Three gems of the same type and grade will yield one gem of the next highest grade! Three healing potions plus three mana potions combine to make one rejuvenation potion! Et cetera....
The next poster is sick and tired of cubes!
I have been playing Minecraft for over 100 hours on Hardcore and I just GOT KILLED BY A $!*!ING CREEPER!!!!11!!ONE
The next poster is frequently wracked by PTSD brought on by an eidetic memory of their adolescence.
No more brussel sprouts, please, I beg of you...
The horror, the horror...
Must...
Escape...
To...
Albuquerque.
The next poster has just been informed that everything they know is wrong.
Yeah, yeah... my husband has been spouting that crap for ages! Doesn't make it right!... Does it?
The next poster will know if my husband's information is correct