The Haiku Game

[The Jade]

Beatdown I won't feel
Not your knives, kicks or punches
But her words kill me

[Spanky the Leprechaun]

But her words kill me
and her wares do resurrect
for her purrs thrill me.

[The Jade]

For her purrs thrill me
How I love to stroke sweet puss
Felines are divine

[TheChozyn]

Felines are devine
At least they are in their minds
Delusional cats

[Cuchulainn]

Delusional cats
Convinced of their grooviness
Attempted to jam

[TheChozyn]

Attempted to jam
But my legs turned to jelly
Peanut Butter time

[Cuchulainn]

Peanut Butter time
Clock-in the elephant mime
Stick to the schedule!

[TheChozyn]

Stick to the schedule!
Someone tell that to Rich please
That comic runs slow

[Cuchulainn]

That comic runs slow
With no feet, how does it go?
I have an inkling

[TheChozyn]

I have an inkling
That the pen is mightier
It keeps rolling on

[Cuchulainn]

It keeps rolling on
In perpetual motion
Never Gonna Stop

[Dragonborn3]

Never Gonna Stop
Singing a song "Never go-
ing to give you up."

[Cuchulainn]

ING to give you up
If you default on your loan
Pay your bills on time

[TheChozyn]

Pay your bills on time
Otherwise we may wack you
Knee cap services

[Dragonborn3]

Knee cap services
Brought to you by a halfling
Barbarian. *wham*

[Cuchulainn]

Barbarian: *wham*
Bard: Tra-la-la-la-la-la!
Wizard: "FIREBALL!"

[Charlie Bell]

Wizard: "FIREBALL!"
CharOp: But blasting spells suck...
"DIE IN A FIRE, NOOB!"

[TheChozyn]

"Die in a fire, noob"
It is not my fault you see
The fire was roaring

[Dragonborn3]

"The Fire was roaring,
The Smith was was busy Forging
Weapons of Legend."

[Cuchulainn]

Weapons of Legend
Strange women, lying on ponds
How governments form

[Charlie Bell]

How governments form--
It's kind of like Soylent Green--
"It's made of PEOPLE!!!"

commentary:

Sorry. Lot of shouting in my haikus lately.

[TheChozyn]

It's made of People
that's my collage right there
Cut and paste is fun

[Cuchulainn]

Cut and paste is fun
Chainmail bikini fitting
Best job in the world!

[drunken_nomad]

Best job in the world
Never as golden as planned
In the Twilight Zone

[The Jade]

In the Twilight Zone
Lost... Earrings have Radar Love
Nomad gets my gist

[TheChozyn]

Nomad gets my gist
Though sometimes I don't get it
A.D.D for me

[The Jade]

TheChozyn wrote:

Nomad gets my gist

Though sometimes I don't get it
A.D.D for me

It was hopelessly vague. Nomad mentioned Golden and Twilight Zone. As he is a bit of a rock historian I thought I'd riff off the fact that Golden Earring was the band that originally sang Radar Love and Twilight Zone. "Help I'm stepping into the Twilight Zone..."

[TheChozyn]

The Jade wrote:

It was hopelessly vague. Nomad mentioned Golden and Twilight Zone. As he is a bit of a rock historian I thought I'd riff off the fact that Golden Earring was the band that originally sang Radar Love and Twilight Zone. "Help I'm stepping into the Twilight Zone..."

I knew what you were going for Jade... Made me chuckle because whenever those songs come on the radio they must be turned up louder.

[The Jade]

TheChozyn wrote:

The Jade wrote:

It was hopelessly vague. Nomad mentioned Golden and Twilight Zone. As he is a bit of a rock historian I thought I'd riff off the fact that Golden Earring was the band that originally sang Radar Love and Twilight Zone. "Help I'm stepping into the Twilight Zone..."

I knew what you were going for Jade... Made me chuckle because whenever those songs come on the radio they must be turned up louder.

Agreed. Certain songs require high volume as mandated by the Gods of Rock.

[drunken_nomad]

who is this 'Golden Earring'? HA! ...Brenda Lee's comin on strong

[Cuchulainn]

Much as I have great appreciation for both of those fine, fine tunes...

A.D.D. for me
Should be "Advanced D&D"
Kickin' it Old School

[TheChozyn]

Kickin' It Old School
listening to NWA
Straight Out of Compton

[Cuchulainn]

Straight out of Compton
Turn left in five-point-two miles
Recalculating

[TheChozyn]

Recalculating
The XP I'm rewarding
Running deducts points

[Cuchulainn]

Running deducts points
If you're playing Sinistar
"Run Coward!" he said

[TheChozyn]

"Run Coward!" he said
I thought I heard Ron Howard
Hope he brought The Fonz

[Cuchulainn]

Hope he brought the Fonz
The ratings are down again
Time to jump the shark

[TheChozyn]

Time to jump the shark
Then we trick over the whale
Dolphin finale

[Cuchulainn]

Dolphin "fin"-ale
Done with a sense of "porpoise"
Undue "pun"-ishment

[Charlie Bell]

Cuchulainn wrote:

Straight out of Compton

Turn left in five-point-two miles
Recalculating

commentary:

BRILLIANT! Should be extra points for a single word last line. And I gotta say, when mine says "recalculating," it's almost like there's an implied "...dumbass."

"Recalculating... dumbass. How did you miss the turn when I told you to turn and had a freakin arrow on the screen. Don't b%&#@~!s it up again."

[Celestial Healer]

Charlie Bell wrote:

Cuchulainn wrote:

Straight out of Compton

Turn left in five-point-two miles
Recalculating

BRILLIANT! Should be extra points for a single word last line. And I gotta say, when mine says "recalculating," it's almost like there's an implied "...dumbass."

"Recalculating... dumbass. How did you miss the turn when I told you to turn and had a freakin arrow on the screen. Don't b!&#&&*s it up again."

ROFL! I am exactly the same way. I have foul-mouthed arguments with my Garmin sometimes. "Well if you didn't want to f#*#ing recalculate it, maybe you should have given me better directions to begin with, b@&!&."

[Cuchulainn]

My wife's Garmin has that snarky-woman's voice, where "recalculating" sounds awfully accusatory.

[Cuchulainn]

Undue punishment
The result of most good deeds
Karmic inversion

[The Jade]

Karmic inversion
Demands psychic surgery
Ends with a loud pop

[Cuchulainn]

Ends with a loud pop
Weasley twins' apparation
Just as the prank hits

[TheChozyn]

Just as the prank hits
A sneeze has ruined my plans
Eyes closed to the room

[Cuchulainn]

Eyes closed to the room
Attempting to disbelieve
The horror within

[The Jade]

The horror within
My name for your foul cooking
Tums for dessert please

[Cuchulainn]

Tums for dessert, please
I could not resist the call
Meat-lover's pizza