No way! Archer rules!
You're a loon! Everyone knows that Janeway could kick all their asses.
I'm more of a Jean-Luc fan myself, but some of these are quite funny.
Indeed, some of those reasons demonstrate pretty well why I think Picard is a far better character - and a far better captain - than Kirk.
PIKE FOREVER!!!!
"The plane Khan, the plane!"
I would have to argue that by far Sisko was the best captain.Indeed, Sisko was by far the best of all of them.
+1
You're a loon! Everyone knows that Janeway could kick all their asses.Don't go there.
Oh, I'll go there Shiny! I'll go there all night! Why, I've even written a haiku for the greatest captain of all...
Oh Janeway the brave!
She who valiantly captains!
Winter set today!
1987 called, they want their argument back.
Wow, that comment was so 2008.
I would have to argue that by far Sisko was the best captain.Indeed, Sisko was by far the best of all of them.
Yeah, he was awesome. I remember an episode where Sisko punched Q right in the chops. Q replied "Picard wouldn't have hit me.". Sisko answered "I'm not Picard". Great stuff!
1987 called, they want their argument back.Wow, that comment was so 2008.
See, I was gonna go for it being s 2005 argument.
Yeah, he was awesome. I remember an episode where Sisko punched Q right in the chops. Q replied "Picard wouldn't have hit me.". Sisko answered "I'm not Picard". Great stuff!
The reason Picard wouldn't have hit Q is because if he had, Q would have TRANSFORMED HIM INTO A FRIGGIN' SLUG!!! The fact that Q didn't do that to Sisko in that episode is a sign of poor writing, not of Sisko's character.
Don't get me wrong. I have nothing against Deep Space Nine. But its treatment of Q didn't impress me.
SISKO FTW!!!!!!
Looking for reasons? Kirk FTW.
1. Kirk got action EVERY episode. Even if they didn't show it.
2. Who else could have created their own dialect of English?
Looking for reasons? Kirk FTW.
1. Kirk got action EVERY episode. Even if they didn't show it.
2. Who else could have created their own dialect of English?
In the old TOS, you knew two things were going to happen in every episode:
1. Kirk was going to get laid.
2. A guy in a red uniform was going to get snuffed out.
In the old TOS, you knew two things were going to happen in every episode:
1. Kirk was going to get laid.
2. A guy in a red uniform was going to get snuffed out.
...which is one of the reasons I'm not a Kirk fan. I think a captain should spend less time chasing women, and more time keeping his crew alive.
Kirk got promoted.
Archer got promoted.
Janeway got promoted.
Sisko got promoted, to GOD!
Picard blew up the Enterprise and got a shiny new ship. Tell me who is better Kirk or Picard?
Ever hear of the Dilbert Principle?
I just meant to imply that maybe Picard was such a great fit for the position of Captain, that starfleet wanted to keep him there.
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It was implied in First Contact that they don't promote him because his contact with the Borg may make him a security risk.
This might have been 80's fan speculation but after trev IV I thought that starfleet stopped forcibly promoting an officer if they didn't want it. Not arguing against Picard being seen as iffy by Starfleet command though. As for blowing up a ship, the Enterprise D did an atmosphere dive while Riker was in command. Picard was down on the planet.
How about "Kirk is actually capable of growing hair on his head, while Picard looks like a store mannequin, and usually has about as much facial expression as one, too"? ;)
Kirk was cheating. He was wearing the Shatner 2000.
I still go with Sisko. Two reason:
1) Two-fisted disruptor action.
2)"Fire ODD-numbered photon torpedoes."
"Fire EVEN-numbered photon torpedoes."
"Fire at will."
In the face of a Klingon invasion no less...
Sisko > Kirk > Pike > April > those other people.
More importantly, which Trek babe was most babealicious?
My vote is for Jazdia Dax, although Keylahr, Kes, Intendent Kira and Lt Illyia all get honorable mention!
mmmm Jadzia Dax...*drools*
1. When Data died, Picard had a funeral. When Spock died, Kirk reconstituted the body, forced it’s soul back in, and even got him laid along the way.
2. When Picard senses that Wesley is having emotional problems he sits down and talks with him about it. When Kirk sensed that Charlie X was having emotional problems he took him to the gym and threw him around on the mats until he got over it.
3. When Picard went back in time he brought back Data’s head. When Kirk went back in time he brought back a blonde.
4. Picard’s Enterprise was destroyed by a couple of Klingon chicks while he was stranded on a desert planet. Kirk’s Enterprise was destroyed when he blew up a crew of Klingons, stole their ship, and resurrected Spock from the dead.
5. Kirk has caused computers to self-destruct by out-thinking them on three separate occasions.
6. When Picard was in the Academy he got stabbed in the heart. When Kirk was in the Academy he beat the unbeatable Kobyoshi Maru scenario and bagged Carol Marcus in his spare time.
7. When Sisko met Picard he told him he hated him. When Sisko met Kirk he got his autograph.
8. Kirk does not play the flute.
9. Picard is from France.
10. When Picard has a problem he talks to Guinan about it. When Kirk has a problem he shoots it.
11. When Kirk screams it echoes across the entire planet.
12. When Kirk blew up the Enterprise, Starfleet built him another one and had it ready by the time he got home.
13. Kirk collects antique guns. Picard collects antique matrioshka nesting dolls.
14. Kirk chastises omni-powerful super beings for not being polite to women.
15. Kirk sword fights someone on a regular basis.
16. Kirk’s Enterprise did not have a day care.
17. Kirk once ordered Scotty to fire a photon torpedo on his position and then he dodged out of the way so it hit the alien he was fighting.
18. Kirk has a violently deadly disease in his blood but he doesn’t let it slow him down any.
19. When it’s time for shore leave Kirk goes rock climbing and drinks whiskey. Picard wears nut smashing banana hammock speedos and reads by the pool.
20. Picard’s name is known and respected throughout Klingon space. Kirk’s name is cursed and vilified.
21. The only Klingon serving on Kirk’s bridge would be a dead one.
22. Kirk jumps horses in his spare time. Picard owns a fish.
23. Kirk would never allow an “acting ensign” to lock out his command codes.
24. Picard quotes Shakespeare for fun. Kirk quotes Shakespeare to intimidate his enemies.
25. Kirk’s jump kick projects 650 pounds of blunt force.
26. Kirk once made a cannon that shot diamonds.
27. Kirk defies superior alien beings on an almost daily basis.
28. When the evil aliens use a stun ray on the crew, Kirk always stays conscious for a minimum of 15 seconds longer than everyone else.
29. Kirk is on a first name basis with every single admiral in Starfleet.
30. Kirk once said: “You’re the Captain’s woman till he says your not.”
31. When Sarek mind melded with Picard, Picard cried a lot. When Sarek mind melded with Kirk, Kirk decided to hijack the Enterprise and bring Spock back from the dead.
32. Kirk can shoulder roll at 127 miles per hour.
33. Picard’s engineer wears goofy wrap-around sunglasses. Kirk’s engineer wears a kilt and can drink you under the table.
34. If Picard’s engineer has a headache it’s because he wore his Visor for too long. If Kirk’s engineer has a headache it’s because he has a hangover.
35. Kirk looks good in sideburns. Really good.
36. Picard drinks tea. Kirk drinks Saurian Brandy straight from the bottle.
37. Kirk mocks Federation bureaucrats that he doesn’t like and then proves that their aids are Klingon spies, just to make the point.
38. Kirk once became an Indian god with the power to resurrect the dead.
39. Kirk can beat a Vulcan at chess.
40. Kirk’s love affairs extend not only across space but across time as well.
41. Kirk’s dress uniform does not actually look like a dress.
42. Kirk looks good in a ripped shirt, and he knows it.
43. Kirk repopulated the Earth’s once extinct humpbacked whale species.
44. When Picard wants the ship to go faster he calls down to engineering and asks to go faster. When Kirk wants the ship to go faster he sling-shots it around the sun.
45. When Klingons invaded Picard’s Enterprise he carefully neutralized them. When Klingons invaded Kirk’s Enterprise he had a massive sword fight with them.
46. Kirk has fought evil duplicates of himself on numerous occasions, always with screaming involved.
47. Kirk’s greatest nemesis was the genetically superior ruler of over a quarter of the Earth. Picard’s greatest nemesis likes to dress like him and occasionally cause inconvenience.
48. Kirk has punched out at least one member of over three thousand known alien races.
49. Kirk would never allow his first officer to get more tail than he does.
50. No matter what world Picard goes to, Kirk was there first and probably has an illegitimate child somewhere on the planet.
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Old 07-30-2008, 05:03 AM #2
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51. Everyone knows the phrase “Beam me up, Scotty!” The phrase, “Energize whenever you are ready, Mr. La Forge,” doesn’t exactly have the same notoriety.
52. Picard’s first officer is named after a bathroom code.
53. Kirk once yelled, “No blah-blah-blah! No blah-blah-blah!” and made it sound important.
54. Kirk’s hand phaser is sleek and sexy. Picard’s hand phaser looks like a Hoover dirt devil.
55. When Kirk wants to talk to the Enterprise he flips open his communicator dramatically. When Picard wants to talk to the Enterprise he has to tweak his own nipple.
56. Kirk’s youth was spent doing back breaking work on a farm in Iowa. Picard’s youth was spent squishing grapes with his toes in France.
57. Kirk fought the Greek god Apollo. And won.
58. The women on Picard’s ship wear long pants. On Kirk’s ship, miniskirts are mandatory.
59. Kirk’s middle name is Tiberius.
60. It runs in the family: Picard’s brother died trapped in a fire. Kirk’s brother died fighting swarms of alien invaders.
61. When Data hijacked the Enterprise, Picard was helpless to stop him. When Spock hijacked the Enterprise Kirk fought him to the death.
62. Kirk’s medical officer prescribes hard liquor as a cure all.
63. Kirk has heavy calluses on his right index finger from pressing the trigger on his phaser so many times.
64. When Kirk gets punched in the face he just wipes the blood off his lip and looks at it with a smirk.
65. Picard once wore formal Klingon robes for a Klingon ceremony. If Kirk ever wore Klingon robes it would be because he took them off a dead Klingon.
66. Kirk chops his own firewood.
67. Kirk once led a Mafia take over.
68. Kirk would have slept with Beverly Crusher by episode two.
69. In the episode “The Trouble With Tribbles” the tribbles bred at such a fast rate not because of instinct but because they were in the presence of Kirk.
70. When Deanna Troi talks about what she’s feeling, Picard listens carefully and thanks her for her input. Kirk would have called it “pillow talk.”
71. The emotional content level of Kirk’s speeches is an average of 782 times higher than the level of Picard’s speeches. If he’s talking about revolution, exploration or diversity, it is 1,089 times higher.
72. When Picard has an alien delegation on board he invites them to a quiet dinner. When Kirk has an alien delegation on board he gets plowed on Romulan Ale.
73. Kirk is familiar with 20th century slang.
74. The main computer on Kirk’s Enterprise once hit on him.
75. Kirk faced off against Wyatt Earp at the O.K. Corral and won.
76. Picard is a Frenchman with an English accent.
77. Kirk only requires thirty-two minutes of sleep a day.
78. Kirk eats multicolored nutrition squares because he’s too busy fighting stuff to eat a normal meal.
79. Kirk destroyed 672 uniform tunics during the Enterprise’s first five year mission.
80. 347 of those tunics were destroyed during combat with Klingons. The rest were destroyed by various women.
81. When Picard fought the Borg he got assimilated. When Kirk fought the Borg he blew up their planet.
82. When Kirk was sent to the prison camp on Rura Penthe he hadn’t bathed or changed his clothes in days and was wearing animal carcasses for warmth but Iman still threw herself at him the moment he arrived.
83. When Abraham Lincoln appeared floating in space in front of the Enterprise, Kirk didn’t even blink.
84. Kirk can break out of any jail cell that is located anywhere in time or space within one hour. Within one half hour if Spock is with him.
85. When Kirk disguised himself as a Romulan, he stole a cloaking device and used it to escape to Federation space. When Picard disguised himself as a Romulan he ate some soup and then got captured.
86. Denny Crane.
87. 87% of all Klingon opera is about the singer’s desire to kill Kirk.
88. The other 13% of all Klingon opera is about the singer’s desire to be killed by Kirk in glorious battle.
89. Kirk once taught an emotionless female android how to love. Then he broke up with her.
90. Kirk’s evil twin womanized and swilled brandy. Picard’s evil twin liked to have his scalp massaged by Ron Perlman.
91. Even though they haven’t existed for hundreds of years, Kirk can still sort of drive a stick shift.
92. Kirk never dressed in green tights and pretended to be Robin Hood, and if he had, someone would have paid for it.
93. Even though Kirk often pauses between words, no one ever dares interrupt him.
94. Kirk went to the center of the universe, met god and wasn’t impressed.
95. When Kirk says “boldly go,” he means it.
96. KHHAAAAANNNNNN!!!!!!!
97. Kirk blatantly disobeys one out of every five Starfleet orders just to remind them who’s really minding the store.
98. Starfleet estimates that the average Klingon has a 36% chance of being killed by Kirk at some point in their lifetime, regardless of their age, profession, location or social status.
99. Kirk once kicked a Klingon into the molten core of an exploding planet.
100. Style: Kirk did it first, he did it better and he did it wearing gold velour and Beatle-boots with a space girl on each arm.
Sisko > Kirk > Pike > April > those other people.
More importantly, which Trek babe was most babealicious?
My vote is for Jazdia Dax, although Keylahr, Kes, Intendent Kira and Lt Illyia all get honorable mention!
Jadzia, then Keylahr.
Why do I get the feeling that the guy who came up with those reasons is also responsible for many, many Chuck Norris facts?
Jason Nesmith ftw!!
This opens up the question of "Which Kirk?" William Shatner or Christopher Pine?
58. The women on Picard’s ship wear long pants. On Kirk’s ship, miniskirts are mandatory.
This speaks more to the nature of the two series then to the two captains.
The social role of women also changed a lot between 1966 and 1987, an this costume change is one of the manifestations of that change.
Still ...
Sexist as it is, perhaps the makers of the Star Trek series from 1987 (ST:TNG) through 2005 (ST:ENT) might have been wiser to have given more thought to the "fanservice" elements.
When they finally decide (for ratings reasons) to add some back in, it hits the series like whiplash.
Sexist as it is, perhaps the makers of the Star Trek series from 1987 (ST:TNG) through 2005 (ST:ENT) might have been wiser to have given more thought to the "fanservice" elements.
Marina Sirtis spent much of the first season in a mini-dress. As did various male extras that walked by in the background. So far as fanservice goes, Troi spent most of the series incapable of exhaling for fear of her breasts flying out. I've read that one of the reasons Troi went through so many costumes is that after a season or so she kept demanding a new one until they finally let her wear a regular uniform. It's about the time they started writing her as more than a support system for a pair of breasts too.
Sure, her grating personality and main function being to state the obvious in vague ways (True story: After hearing an alien rant at them, Picard asked Troi for her impressions. She said that she sensed hostility. Stewart broke character and told her that everybody knew that and she was stupid. Everyone laughed.) but they dressed her for fanservice. I'm told that Sirtis herself can rip into Troi better, and funnier, than most fans.
Sisko > Kirk > Pike > April > those other people.
More importantly, which Trek babe was most babealicious?
My vote is for Jazdia Dax, although Keylahr, Kes, Intendent Kira and Lt Illyia all get honorable mention!
What? No love for 7 of 9?
Sexist as it is, perhaps the makers of the Star Trek series from 1987 (ST:TNG) through 2005 (ST:ENT) might have been wiser to have given more thought to the "fanservice" elements.
Marina Sirtis spent much of the first season in a mini-dress. As did various male extras that walked by in the background. So far as fanservice goes, Troi spent most of the series incapable of exhaling for fear of her breasts flying out. I've read that one of the reasons Troi went through so many costumes is that after a season or so she kept demanding a new one until they finally let her wear a regular uniform. It's about the time they started writing her as more than a support system for a pair of breasts too.
Sure, her grating personality and main function being to state the obvious in vague ways (True story: After hearing an alien rant at them, Picard asked Troi for her impressions. She said that she sensed hostility. Stewart broke character and told her that everybody knew that and she was stupid. Everyone laughed.) but they dressed her for fanservice. I'm told that Sirtis herself can rip into Troi better, and funnier, than most fans.
I missed meeting her TWICE by two minutes- once at the VERY FIRST CON I went to(although I did get a chance to see the lovely Majel Roddenberry), and once again at the last Comic-Con I went to. TWO MINUTES!!! DAMN!!
But yes, I heard that she truly does despise her character and her outfits. Wish I could come up with some first hand stuff, but...*sigh* missed her by THAT much.