Fine you're our new HO. Though for some reason I really liked Tataz as a HO. I'm not sure why, but she made me feel kind of funny, but in a good way. The only thing I didn't like about her was that my pants always felt too tight when I was around her. However, I'm confident MO the HO will be a good HO. GO MO HO!
Yo you going to let the computer kno that you have a new HO, Mo?
WHOOPS who has been skipping around in a circle mumbling songs to himself suddenly comes to a dead stop.
"Hey Citizen glorious day is it not? Welcome to the Team. I am WHOOPS-R-UOK the equipment guy for the team." WHOOPS says in a rapid way reaches out and shakes MO's hand vigorously.
GM
Seeing that things are well in hand, Sam wanders into R&D to see what's going on.
SAM-R-SPD-1 reporting for duty!
You all saunter, skip, crawl or walk into R&D.
a burly orange citizen steps up to Sam-R-SPD-1 and shouts:
A rocket test goes awry as a fin breaks off, the rocket spins out of control and hits Tataz right in the chest, coating her in a flammable gelatin. Ow, ow, ow as she runs around, BAZOONGAS!, DIRTY PILLOWS, KNOCKERS, TATAZ, TI#$%K#JTSSS, ARRRGGGGH As she runs around as a Screaming Alpha, then falls down immolated.
Liam films Tataz' immolation with slight disinterest. After Expl's mentioning of the Flazer, Liam quickly swivels to face towards him and takes out his loudspeaker.
GM:
Expl-O-SIV SHOUTS:
Mo watches the orange citizen with great interest as he approaches the team leader and begins to speak, or rather shout at the group. As the rocket ignites Tataz, Mo can't help but watch in fascination at the pretty, pretty lights generated by the flaming troubleshooter. After Tataz crumples to the ground and the flames start to die down he turns to Chuckles and relays some instructions.
Hey Chuckles, could you go other there and dispose of Tataz body properly? We can't have charred corpses just laying all around Alpha Complex. That's not very hygienic after all. Do you know how hard it is to get charcoal stains out?
Mo doesn't wait for an answer, but instead gives Chuckles a light push in the general direction of Tataz smoking corpse, encouraging him to get on with it. Turning back to Expl-O-SIV, Mo tries to get his attention by shouting at him since everyone else is doing it.
SO WE JUST HAVE TO TEST OUT THIS EQUIPMENT? WHAT ABOUT THOSE FLAME GLOBES? WHAT DO THEY DO?
SWEEEEEET! HOOK ME UP. I'M READY TO TEST SOMETHING.
"excellent a new flame thrower ohhhh how nice. Commie crispys fun fun fun! WHOOPS hops up and down claping his hands.
Witnessing the immolation of Tataz, Whatt again touches four points on his chest anti-clockwise. "Speed you on to the Reboot, Tataz."
Once inside, Whatt looks with delight on the instruments of Commie-filth deletion. He raises a trembling hand to the higher-ranking citizen. ""
After Chuckles takes a moment to stretch his twisted limbs, and gives his neck a good readjusting, he comes to the quick realization that he doesn't have his happiness kit on him. He anxiously begins patting his pockets, turning them inside out in search of happy pills. "My...my pills. Where are my pills?!" His eyes dart across the floor where he spots the remains of a few stray pills from when his predecessor was scattered himself. Chuckles gets down on the floor, frantically combing the area with his shaking hands and shoving any stray pills into his pockets urgently.
He tries to cover his mouth but can't help but laugh uncontrollably at the horrendous sight of Tataz. Ignoring Mo's request, Chuckles screeches through the laughter, "I have GOT to get my hands on one of those rockets." He rubs his hands together in an unsavoury manor.
Expl-O-SIV shouts:
The flame globes look like a ball filled with some sort of liquid. there are three of them. All of the items are laid out on a workbench. all the items have red clearance markings on them. Obviously some of these items would normally be orange or higher clearance.
Mo:
While everyone else is busy looking over all the experimental items and deciding just which one they would like to take, Mo wanders over to check on Tataz corpse. Since Tataz obviously has no use for any of her equipment anymore, Mo helps himself to any computer assigned equipment that might be useful.
Mo taps a quick message into his PDC before rejoining the rest of the group, hoping he hasn't missed anything important what with all the explosions and the screaming going on all around him.
SOUNDS SIMPLE TO ME. TEST THE EQUIPMENT AND REPORT THE RESULTS. WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG WITH THAT RIGHT?
Mo goes back to fiddling with his PDC while he waits for Sam to get everything sorted out.
I'm assuming "Stop, drop and roll" is going to be a little too useful for a narrow specialty in this mission, but how about "Juggle dangerously volatile weapons?" *rolls for his "conspicuously innocent whistling" specialty*
Sam rushes to the work table and grabs up the flame globes [assuming they don't detonate in his hand and burn him up- not a a safe assumption to be sure], he starts tossing them to the other team members.
LETS TEST THESE ONES FIRST. HERE WHATT. CATCH LIAM!
He throws a glob to Liam and one to Whatt. The other he keeps in his hand.
Liam looks on in shock as the globe comes sailing through the air towards him. Who knows what it's going to do? It could do nothing, it could cause him to go up in a hair-product-induced inferno. He couldn't catch it, one hand's holding the megaphone, the other holding the camera. So, Liam does the only thing he could think of: he leaps to the side, the camera and megaphone at arms' length and pointing at Sam.
GM:
Sam cringes SORRY LIAM, DIDN'T REALIZE YOUR HANDS WERE FULL.!!!
Chuckles:
Mo:
Liam sees the globe move in slow motion as he drops down putting his megaphone down and springing back up catching the globe neatly.
Liam sees the globe move in slow motion as he drops down putting his megaphone down and springing back up catching the globe neatly.
"Hey, Chuckles! You can have this globe! Call it a decanting present!" Liam then tosses the globe at Chuckles before putting his megaphone back on his belt and grabbing the Flazer
GM:
Chuckles: ** spoiler omitted **
GM only:
Chuckles prances giddily up to the array of weaponry. Wriggling his fingers in excitement and anticipation, he quickly snatches up the slugthrower, cradling and caressing it protectively like a child with a new toy.
Just as Sam tosses the flame globes, Chuckles ducks out of the way, hollering, "Watch out, Sammy boy! You'll damage MY equipment!" He strokes the precious, precious slughthrower.
Chuckles takes a quick glance at the team and comes to a conclusion, "You know what I think, chums? I think everyone's taking themselves a bit too seriously lately. But it's nothing a little visit from the 'Doctor TEE HEE' can't cure." He digs in his pocket and presents a meager supply of pills that he scrounged off the floor left in the wake of Chuckles-R-DRR-1's freakout and subsequent demise. "Looks like we're going to have to ration these until I can repelnish my supply, kids. We don't want to run out of happiness when it matters the most." Chuckles puts all but one pill back in his pocket, places the single pill on the ground, breaks it with the butt of the slugthrower, and doles out the fragments to his team.
"Sam. Mo. You two seem particularly stern as of late, you two can share my portion." Chuckles breaks the last sliver in two and places the crumbly bits into Mo and Sam's hands. Then he notices small particles left over on the floor, wipes them up with his finger, and eagerly rubs the remnants onto his gums, making unappetizing sucking and slurping noises. "Now don't worry about ol' Chuckles. I can subsist just fine off of a tiny supply of laughy-dust and...my own natural glee!" ::cackle:: He carelessly points towards his own head and taps it with the barrel of the slugthrower. "I've got all the happiness I could ever need stowed away! Right in here!" ::tap tap:: He fixes a stupefied grin on his face, causing him to look both jubilant and vacant.
Liam sees the globe move in slow motion as he drops down putting his megaphone down and springing back up catching the globe neatly.
"Hey, Chuckles! You can have this globe! Call it a decanting present!" Liam then tosses the globe at Chuckles before putting his megaphone back on his belt and grabbing the Flazer
GM:** spoiler omitted **
In an act driven purely by adrenaline, Chuckles swings the slugthrower at the globe to hit it back to Liam. "OH I GET IT! A GAME TO TEST OUT THE EQUIPMENT! HOW FUNNNN! Catch, Liam, CATCH! Yeeehehehehee!"
GM only:
Mo looks at the crushed up bits of pill sitting in his hand and tries to identify what the heck it is.
Thanks Chuckles, I hadn't noticed a change in my attitude, but I guess that's why they made you the happiness officer and not me!
Hey Chuckles? Do you mind if I go get a glass of water to wash this down with?
WHOOPS merrily licks the crumbled pill dumped into his hand. "Yup, yup got to keep things chipper hahahaha!" as he picks up the flame thrower he looks around wildly at the globes flying through the air. "A little caution with the equipment pals. we wouldn't want to break any of the computers prototype gear before we get to use it on some commies." WHOOPS carelessly scratches his chest while his eyes nervously follow the globes.
GM
Perversity Bidding on the outcome of the broken globe... please bid in spoilers. Cost is 1 perversity point to bid, if you don't win you only lose 1 Perversity Point.
Whatt:
SAM:
Expl-O-SIV grabs Sam's arm in an iron grip before he can throw a second globe. (This happens while the flame globe is in the air between Liam and Chuckles...) He then takes the remaining flame globes and places each of them in a small crate, then puts the small liqui-foam filled crate into a medium sized foam filled crate, he then places the medium sized crate in a 5 foot long 3 foot high cas, then repeats it with the other globe. and slides both cases over to Mo. He then hands three willy petes to SAM, and then hands SAM A clipboard full of paperwork, [/i]
GM:
Liam's expression quickly goes from the standard smug smirk to a severely-shocked smile as the realization of what's happening begins to sink in.
GM
Sam grabs the clip board and starts going through the paper work, signing his name here and there without paying too much attention to where he is signing.
Mo is shocked, shocked! at the wanton destruction of his assigned experimental gear, but since it's being used, he might as well snap a few images with his PDC of the effects to go into the report on the flame globes effectiveness.
GM only:
Perversity Bidding will close at 0800 PST Sunday.
Liam's smug smirk changes to one of adverse shock as the events begin to take shape, then as the globe connects with Chuckle's slug rifle, it miraculously doesn't break, Liam's expression changes to one of horror as the globe flies straight into his mouth, breaking on his teeth. Liam now looks like Ghost Rider...
Liam:
Sam:
Chuckles:
A frightful keening escapes Liam's lips as he collapses to the floor, dead. Somewhere, a song plays.
GM:
"SEE! SEE! The commie traitor has killed another of our glorious team." WHOOPS points the flame thrower at SAM "I wont let you take anymore lives SAM!" WHOOPS pulls the trigger.
GM
As Chuckles swings his slug thrower like a funball bat at the flame globe, Mo follows the trajectory of the little ball with a perverse fascination as it smashes into Liam's face and engulfs his head in flames.
Wow! Did anyone else see that? He was all "Ha!" And then Chuckles was like "Whee!" and then Liam was all "OH NOES!" and then his head went "FWOOSH!" Mo punctuates each statement with enthusiastic hand motions, finishing by throwing his hands up in the air as he says "FWOOSH!" He finishes up by snapping a few pictures of Liam's burnt head before turning back to the group in time to see Whoops attempt to immolate Sam.
What are you doing? Sam didn't light Liam on fire! Mo, unsure of what to do when confronted by an manic Whoops, does the only thing he can think of. He grabs his can of B3 and throws it at Whoops hoping to save Sam from his imminent flame broiling.
Assuming that Whoops can actually figure out how to use the flame thrower, Sam drops the clip board he'd just picked up (he probably hasn't had a chance to sign anything) tries to dive out of the way. He is standing in front of the table full of prototype gear, so if he does get out of the way the flames could well nuke the table and the paper work he needed to sign, causing all manner of trouble.
GM
Chuckles reacts the only way he can. His uproarious laughter fills the room as he watches the chaos unfold.
Eventually, he calms down and grabs the B3 can that just bounced off of Whoops. He cracks the can open, and pours B3 over Liam's flaming skull to douse the inferno. Then he sips the last bit from the can, turns to his team nonchalantly and states, "Well that was unexpected."
As Whoops attempts to execute The Team Leader for loyalty transgression, Mo takes a can of B3, and wings it at Whoops head, Suddenly a naked Liam-2 appears in the doorway, through some sort of teleportation beam...hmm they really get these people back into the fray quick in R&D.
The hand flamer lets out a short burst of flame, while it singes Sam's eyebrows it was just a bit out of range...silly experimental weapons...
Liam looks about bewildered for a few seconds before confidently striding into the room and places his hand on Chuckles' shoulder. "Good to see ya again, uh, what's your name? Wait, no don't tell me, uh Charles, no , Giggles, that's not right oh, Chuckles! You're Chuckles, right? Thanks for putting me out Chuckles. That is me, right? Eh, doesn't matter, I'm wearing his stuff either way."
Liam then begins to strip Liam and puts on his stuff.
Sam reaches into his bag and pulls out his laser pistol. His face is beat red, partly because of his close brush with the flame thrower and partly because he's pissed. He fires at Whoops.
YOU TREASONOUS INGRATE, HOW DARE YOU TRY TO KILL YOUR TEAM LEADER!!
ZAP!!!!!!
GM
Liam:
Liam: ** spoiler omitted **
GM:
Mo is disgusted the attitude of his fellow troubleshooters and their dereliction of duty. First the carelessness of Sam when dealing with the experimental equipment, then his trigger unhappiness. Chuckles doesn't seem to know how to do anything except laugh. Liam, well there isn't anything wrong with Liam. Yet. He did only just show up. Whoops seems disturbingly homicidal. Whatt seems to have wandered off at some point when Mo wasn't looking.
Mo decides that some things need to change and that starts with the team leader who's decidedly unhappy state of mind is negatively affecting the rest of the group. Mo attempts to tackle Sam before this get's even more out of hand.
Screw it. Add ten (10) perversity points to that to bring the result down to 10.
A Yellow laser beam shoots out of Sam's laser pistol, striking Whoops in the chest. Whoops looks down at the smoldering hole where his heart was until recently pumping blood to the rest of his body before he collapses in a lump...Another loud keening (like the sound of the TARDIS materializing) before the new Whoops appears out of thin air...also naked. Looks like they got the trajectory wrong on this one, since he's about 18" off the ground, landing with thud, and almost a sprained ankle. Mo flies across the room Like Teela-O-MLY and tackles Sam, sending the laser pistol scattering across the room.
A huge burst of flame goes off above your heads, causing your hair to curl and smoke. Exp-O-SIV SHOUTS as he draws your attention to the huge flamer he's pointing your way.
Chuckles starts screaming in a random, hyper stream-of-consciousness, "THIS IS NOT HAPPINESS! YOU PEOPLE NEED SERIOUS HELP! YELLOW LASER FIRE! LASER FIRE! WHOOPS GO SPLAT! OTHER WHOOPS GO THUD! NNNNAKED! WATCH OUT, FLYING MO! THIS IS SO NOT HAPPINESS! WHY AREN'T YOU HAPPY?! ...AAAAHH FLAMETHROWER!"
Through a sputter of uncontrolled laughter, Chuckles cautiously lays his weapon down, raises his hands in the air, and addresses Expl-O-SIV, "D-DON'T SHOOT! I J-just need to treat my team for their dangerously inadequate happiness levels!" He slowly reaches into his pocket with one hand, while keeping the other hand in the air, to appear as non-threatening as possible. From out of his pocket, he reveals the entire remainder of his pills. His hand is shaking. He manages to stutter nervously through all the bursts of laughter, "Hey! G-uh-guys! heh heh...I've got just the trick to calm everyone down, OK? Ju-Just everyone DOWN!" Chuckles mumbles to himself, "Well, if rationing doesn't do the trick..." Chuckles carefully shuffles across the floor, in denial of all the hostility and chaos, and despite the impending shoot out, he pries each team member's mouth open with his bony fingers and feeds each member 2 pills. He places the remaining pills back in his pocket without dosing himself, raises his hands in the air again, and backs slowly into the corner, returning to where his slugthrower lies on the ground. "EVERYONE -hehheh- CAH-CALM DOWN! Everything will sort itself out now. Everything will b-be HAPP-EEEEHEHEHEHE!"
"My hair... he burnt my hair slightlyAck!", says Liam as the two pills are shoved into his mouth and a look of serene calm comes over his face. He picks his PDC out of the suit's pocket and looks at his reflection. "Alright, not that bad, nothing a good combing couldn't fix." He takes out the comb and combs his hair as he drags the jump suit over to Mo. "Hey, Tataz. Wait, you're not Tataz, you're missing... something, I'm not sure what. You're still the Hygiene Officer, right? Well, my jumpsuit got a few soot stains from when my head burned off, you got anything for that?"
chuck:
Expl is Fuming, he covers you all with his flamer, watching everyone, but not shooting...yet...you figure if one of you screws up he'll probably fry you all...but he also wants these weapons FIELD tested, so he's trying to keep you alive for now.
chuck: ** spoiler omitted **
Expl is Fuming, he covers you all with his flamer, watching everyone, but not shooting...yet...you figure if one of you screws up he'll probably fry you all...but he also wants these weapons FIELD tested, so he's trying to keep you alive for now.
GM only:
OK seriously?
Mo is given one black pill with a red dot and one red pill with a black stripe
Sam gets one black pill with a red dot and one black pill with a red stripe
Liam gets two black pills with red dots
Whoops gets a red pill with a black stripe, and a black pill with a red stripe
Whatt (is he even here?) Gets two black pills with red stripes
The rest of what Chuckles puts in his pocket are all black pills with red dots.