Busy weekend. Only one picnic, but it was crashed by a biker gang. There almost wasn't enough of me to go around.
*sulks*
Last time I was at a picnic, I was the slaad that nobody ate.
Busy weekend. Only one picnic, but it was crashed by a biker gang. There almost wasn't enough of me to go around.*sulks*
Last time I was at a picnic, I was the slaad that nobody ate.
Don't worry Tossed. Your day will come.
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Busy weekend. Only one picnic, but it was crashed by a biker gang. There almost wasn't enough of me to go around.
Bikers never seem to like me... at least not motorcyclists. Bicyclers eat me all the time at their picnics and stuff, but I'm trying to reach out to the people who don't normally eat fruit.
*sulks*
Last time I was at a picnic, I was the slaad that nobody ate.
I empathize. This happens to me a lot too. Don't they know that you're supposed to have 6 servings of fruit and vegetables per day?
Somebody picked through me and ate all my tomatoes. How selfish.
<comes charging in from across the road>
<pant> Poodles <wheeze> Hillbillies <pant> Everywhere <gasp> The horror! THE HORROR!!!!!
<runs and hides>
<comes charging in from across the road>
<pant> Poodles <wheeze> Hillbillies <pant> Everywhere <gasp> The horror! THE HORROR!!!!!
<runs and hides>
Are you seasoned with dill?
Delicious.
Fruit slaad, that gives me an idea.
Let's hold a Limbo contest. We can make all the poodles and hillbillies and anyone else do the limbo. If they fall, or touch the pole, we deposit eggs in their chest cavities and they suffer a horrible death.
What do you think?
Fruit slaad, that gives me an idea.
Let's hold a Limbo contest. We can make all the poodles and hillbillies and anyone else do the limbo. If they fall, or touch the pole, we deposit eggs in their chest cavities and they suffer a horrible death.
What do you think?
I'm all about depositing eggs.
COME ONE, COME ALL!
ONCE-IN-A-LIFETIME EVENT AT SLAADCON! TAKE PART IN OUR MULTIVERSE-FAMOUS LIMBO CONTEST!
HOW LOW CAN YOU GO?????
WIN FABULOUS PRIZES!!!*
*Slaadcon is not responsible for any injury or death resulting from limbo contest. Contest is only open to humanoids. Monstrous humanoids, outsiders, undead, and creatures with greater than two legs will be disqualified, and may or may not be devoured. Slaadcon is held liable only by the laws of the Plane of Limbo, which are non-existent. First prize: Contestant who wins limbo contest might not have his or her chest cavity filled with eggs, resulting in certain death. The organizers of Slaadcon reserve the right to deposit eggs in the chest cavity of the winning contestant anyway. For full contest rules, ask a slaad [note: slaad may or may not seize upon the opportunity to spawn eggs in your chest cavity, just for having the gall to ask for contest rules]. To determine whether having slaad spawn erupt from your body may change your tax status, please contact your local revenue agency or a tax advisor.
... He needed to go back to Limbo.
<pops back from Limbo>
Good GODS!! There is a plane filled with skewers!! There were everywhere!!! You had to duck under them! I thought I was going to become a Chicken Slaad Kabob!!!!
<runs off and hides in the planes filled with fluffy non-threatening things>
<as the gate closes>
ACK! POODLES!!!!
<gate closes>
COME ONE, COME ALL!
ONCE-IN-A-LIFETIME EVENT AT SLAADCON! TAKE PART IN OUR MULTIVERSE-FAMOUS LIMBO CONTEST!
HOW LOW CAN YOU GO?????
WIN FABULOUS PRIZES!!!*
*Slaadcon is not responsible for any injury or death resulting from limbo contest. Contest is only open to humanoids. Monstrous humanoids, outsiders, undead, and creatures with greater than two legs will be disqualified, and may or may not be devoured. Slaadcon is held liable only by the laws of the Plane of Limbo, which are non-existent. First prize: Contestant who wins limbo contest might not have his or her chest cavity filled with eggs, resulting in certain death. The organizers of Slaadcon reserve the right to deposit eggs in the chest cavity of the winning contestant anyway. For full contest rules, ask a slaad [note: slaad may or may not seize upon the opportunity to spawn eggs in your chest cavity, just for having the gall to ask for contest rules]. To determine whether having slaad spawn erupt from your body may change your tax status, please contact your local revenue agency or a tax advisor.
<quietly to Tossed Slaad>
Soooooo ... we'll be calling an all around tie for first place in the contest, right?
Thanks for not killing me, guys!
<Eyes Low-Fat Ranch Dretching>
Hey, sweetheart. You're looking mighty fine.
So, about this limbo contest--when does the pitchfork portion start?
Thanks for not killing me, guys!
<Eyes Low-Fat Ranch Dretching>
Hey, sweetheart. You're looking mighty fine.
So, about this limbo contest--when does the pitchfork portion start?
Ew, get away from me, fatty!
Ew, get away from me, fatty!Thanks for not killing me, guys!
<Eyes Low-Fat Ranch Dretching>
Hey, sweetheart. You're looking mighty fine.
So, about this limbo contest--when does the pitchfork portion start?
I'm not fat, baby. Look at these muscles.
<Flexes. Biceps form under the arm.>
Whatever. I only date low-fat dretchings.
Whatever. I only date low-fat dretchings.
I can change, honey. See, I'm starting my exercise program right now.
<Runs 20 feet, then starts wheezing.>
Whatever. I only date low-fat dretchings.I can change, honey. See, I'm starting my exercise program right now.
<Runs 20 feet, then starts wheezing.>
I'm sorry, but we just aren't meant to be together. You're fatty, and I'm not. People don't change, Ranch.
I'm sorry, but we just aren't meant to be together. You're fatty, and I'm not. People don't change, Ranch.Whatever. I only date low-fat dretchings.I can change, honey. See, I'm starting my exercise program right now.
<Runs 20 feet, then starts wheezing.>
Huff. Huff. OK.
<Walks over to Wafu Dretching.>
I've still got you, right Waffles?
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I'm sorry, but we just aren't meant to be together. You're fatty, and I'm not. People don't change, Ranch.Whatever. I only date low-fat dretchings.I can change, honey. See, I'm starting my exercise program right now.
<Runs 20 feet, then starts wheezing.>
Huff. Huff. OK.
<Walks over to Wafu Dretching.>
I've still got you, right Waffles?
Um... she lost her head (chuckles).
<Look of horror>
They're eating the celery!
Not me... I'm a proud carnivore {bites head off Wafu Dretching}
Mmmm, crunchy. Needs more wasabi though.
I'm sorry, but we just aren't meant to be together. You're fatty, and I'm not. People don't change, Ranch.Whatever. I only date low-fat dretchings.I can change, honey. See, I'm starting my exercise program right now.
<Runs 20 feet, then starts wheezing.>
Huff. Huff. OK.
<Walks over to Wafu Dretching.>
I've still got you, right Waffles?
Um... she lost her head (chuckles).
<Look of horror>
They're eating the celery!
Not me... I'm a proud carnivore {bites head off Wafu Dretching}
Mmmm, crunchy. Needs more wasabi though.
That just makes her even more special to me.
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That just makes her even more special to me.I'm sorry, but we just aren't meant to be together. You're fatty, and I'm not. People don't change, Ranch.Whatever. I only date low-fat dretchings.I can change, honey. See, I'm starting my exercise program right now.
<Runs 20 feet, then starts wheezing.>
Huff. Huff. OK.
<Walks over to Wafu Dretching.>
I've still got you, right Waffles?
Um... she lost her head (chuckles).
<Look of horror>
They're eating the celery!
Not me... I'm a proud carnivore {bites head off Wafu Dretching}
Mmmm, crunchy. Needs more wasabi though.
You are one wretched, tetchy little dretch.
You are one wretched, tetchy little dretch.That just makes her even more special to me.I'm sorry, but we just aren't meant to be together. You're fatty, and I'm not. People don't change, Ranch.Whatever. I only date low-fat dretchings.I can change, honey. See, I'm starting my exercise program right now.
<Runs 20 feet, then starts wheezing.>
Huff. Huff. OK.
<Walks over to Wafu Dretching.>
I've still got you, right Waffles?
Um... she lost her head (chuckles).
<Look of horror>
They're eating the celery!
Not me... I'm a proud carnivore {bites head off Wafu Dretching}
Mmmm, crunchy. Needs more wasabi though.
You kinda have to be in the Abyss. It's not all rainbows and ponies down there!
Anyone seen my dretching? I'm feeling a little dry...
Anyone seen my dretching? I'm feeling a little dry...
I killed him!
Anyone seen my dretching? I'm feeling a little dry...I killed him!
Ha ha! No I didn't. That was someone else.
Yew got dat raht.
I have found the answer to reigning in the poodles. We can use an army of these hamsters to distract and then subdue the silly beasts in preparation for egg placement.
Those typically docile creatures should be easy to bend to our will ... or some such.
I have found the answer to reigning in the poodles. We can use an army of these hamsters to distract and then subdue the silly beasts in preparation for egg placement.
Those typically docile creatures should be easy to bend to our will ... or some such.
Unfortunately, their master will put a stop to that. You need giant space hamsters to deal with those guys. Fortunately, I am an expert giant space hamster breeder! I charge nothing but a bowl of slaad with some dretching on it.
Unfortunately, their master will put a stop to that. You need giant space hamsters to deal with those guys. Fortunately, I am an expert giant space hamster breeder! I charge nothing but a bowl of slaad with some dretching on it.I have found the answer to reigning in the poodles. We can use an army of these hamsters to distract and then subdue the silly beasts in preparation for egg placement.
Those typically docile creatures should be easy to bend to our will ... or some such.
Well, Cobb's still dead. And...
<Shoves Little Caesar Dretching in front of Sytt>
Here's a Little Caesar Dretching!
Unfortunately, their master will put a stop to that. You need giant space hamsters to deal with those guys. Fortunately, I am an expert giant space hamster breeder! I charge nothing but a bowl of slaad with some dretching on it.I have found the answer to reigning in the poodles. We can use an army of these hamsters to distract and then subdue the silly beasts in preparation for egg placement.
Those typically docile creatures should be easy to bend to our will ... or some such.
Well, Cobb's still dead. And...
<Shoves Little Caesar Dretching in front of Sytt>
Here's a Little Caesar Dretching!
Excellent. They'll be here soon. Thank you for shopping at Yugoloth Services (TM). Yugoloth Services(TM)will not be held accountable for any injuries and/or fatalities due to the use of Yugoloth Services products.
I hope we don't run out of slaads and dretchings because of that yugoloth. We will have to hurry up and spawn some more, just to stay ahead of the curve.
<quietly to Tossed Slaad>
Soooooo ... we'll be calling an all around tie for first place in the contest, right?
Read again... The first place finisher MIGHT not be used for spawning, which implies that all of the losers definitely will.
Read again... The first place finisher MIGHT not be used for spawning, which implies that all of the losers definitely will.<quietly to Tossed Slaad>
Soooooo ... we'll be calling an all around tie for first place in the contest, right?
oh you sneaky slaad you! Still, we could use the vast confusion of an all-around tie to begin egging the contestants before they become aware of what's going on ... and use the new carriers as a natural fencing to keep the others from trying to run off.
I hate running after those silly breeding grounds. I always have to re-relish afterwards.
That's why I love picnics - plenty of vic...I mean people...to share in the joys of being a Slaad parent.
Excellent. They'll be here soon. Thank you for shopping at Yugoloth Services (TM). Yugoloth Services(TM)will not be held accountable for any injuries and/or fatalities due to the use of Yugoloth Services products.Unfortunately, their master will put a stop to that. You need giant space hamsters to deal with those guys. Fortunately, I am an expert giant space hamster breeder! I charge nothing but a bowl of slaad with some dretching on it.I have found the answer to reigning in the poodles. We can use an army of these hamsters to distract and then subdue the silly beasts in preparation for egg placement.
Those typically docile creatures should be easy to bend to our will ... or some such.
Well, Cobb's still dead. And...
<Shoves Little Caesar Dretching in front of Sytt>
Here's a Little Caesar Dretching!
Ranch, I'm going to kill you! You gave poor little Caesar to that evil Yugoloth!
Come now, little dretchings - save it for the poodles. Dretching-dependent slaads like myself cannot afford to have you guys fight one another into extinction.
Come now, little dretchings - save it for the poodles. Dretching-dependent slaads like myself cannot afford to have you guys fight one another into extinction.
Yeah, you say that, but I bet Ceasar Slaad isn't going to be quite as understanding ...
Come now, little dretchings - save it for the poodles. Dretching-dependent slaads like myself cannot afford to have you guys fight one another into extinction.Yeah, you say that, but I bet Ceasar Slaad isn't going to be quite as understanding ...
I will forgive him if he acknowledges that I AM CAESAR!!
Come now, little dretchings - save it for the poodles. Dretching-dependent slaads like myself cannot afford to have you guys fight one another into extinction.
<Sticks tongue out at Low-Fat.>
Poodle lover!
I will forgive him if he acknowledges that I AM CAESAR!!Come now, little dretchings - save it for the poodles. Dretching-dependent slaads like myself cannot afford to have you guys fight one another into extinction.Yeah, you say that, but I bet Ceasar Slaad isn't going to be quite as understanding ...
I AM CAESAR!
There, I said it.
Someone called?
I AM CAESAR!
There, I said it.
I thought this was Sparta.
I thought this was Sparta.I AM CAESAR!
There, I said it.
Have you yet known the joy of giving birth to a slaad?
I think I left one in the back yard. At least, it was crawling away after I dropped it off.
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I will forgive him if he acknowledges that I AM CAESAR!!Come now, little dretchings - save it for the poodles. Dretching-dependent slaads like myself cannot afford to have you guys fight one another into extinction.Yeah, you say that, but I bet Ceasar Slaad isn't going to be quite as understanding ...I AM CAESAR!
There, I said it.
No, you're supposed to acknowledge it.