The Slaad Thread


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Dark Archive

Cobb Slaad wrote:
All you dretchings look the same, yet somehow oddly different. I'm going to have to kill all of you.

Oh yeah? Well, we have a 35% percent chance of summoning more dretches! So eat that! rolls d%.... comes up with 36... Crap! waddles off hurriedly

Liberty's Edge

Dan Qu, er, Potatoe Slaade wrote:

Goota goe. Teh kween iis calleing.

<Bamf!>

Oi, I thought we killed you!

Dang, he escaped again... stupid githyankis with their stupid lich-queen...

The Exchange

Ranch Dretching wrote:
Little Caesar Dretching wrote:
Caesar Slaad wrote:
Little Caesar Dretching wrote:
It wasn't me, I swear! I'm innocent! Takes celery stick, then points it at Ranch. It was him!
Get away from those other Slaads! We belong together.
They were mean to me! sucks on celery stick

There, there little buddy.

<Pulls Little Caesar Dretching close>

No, you're a murderer! I want Uncle Caesar! stabs Ranchy with celery stick


Little Caesar Dretching wrote:
Ranch Dretching wrote:
Little Caesar Dretching wrote:
Caesar Slaad wrote:
Little Caesar Dretching wrote:
It wasn't me, I swear! I'm innocent! Takes celery stick, then points it at Ranch. It was him!
Get away from those other Slaads! We belong together.
They were mean to me! sucks on celery stick

There, there little buddy.

<Pulls Little Caesar Dretching close>

No, you're a murderer! I want Uncle Caesar! stabs Ranchy with celery stick

Ow! If you're going to do that, at least give me celery stick.

<Snatches celery from Little Caesar Dretching>

Yep. Still delicious. Anyway, you misunderstand. The Greek Slaad said she'd kill a Little Caesar Dretching. There might have been a 'for' in there, but I don't remember too clearly. I did it for you little buddy.

Liberty's Edge

Ok, enough arguing already! Someone's leaked to the poodles!
Our numbers are much smaller, and we are not as ancient as the old horrors (33 pages!) like the poodles.
We must recruit more to our cause, or we are doomed.
And we gotta plan SlaadCon.

Perhaps we should send an envoy of dretchings to the thread.

Liberty's Edge

Ranch Dretching wrote:
Little Caesar Dretching wrote:
Ranch Dretching wrote:
Little Caesar Dretching wrote:
Caesar Slaad wrote:
Little Caesar Dretching wrote:
It wasn't me, I swear! I'm innocent! Takes celery stick, then points it at Ranch. It was him!
Get away from those other Slaads! We belong together.
They were mean to me! sucks on celery stick

There, there little buddy.

<Pulls Little Caesar Dretching close>

No, you're a murderer! I want Uncle Caesar! stabs Ranchy with celery stick

Ow! If you're going to do that, at least give me celery stick.

<Snatches celery from Little Caesar Dretching>

Yep. Still delicious. Anyway, you misunderstand. The Greek Slaad said she'd kill a Little Caesar Dretching. There might have been a 'for' in there, but I don't remember too clearly. I did it for you little buddy.

As in "kill for a little of that Caesar Slaad, Dretching?" ducks


Fruit Slaad wrote:
Ranch Dretching wrote:
Little Caesar Dretching wrote:
Ranch Dretching wrote:
Little Caesar Dretching wrote:
Caesar Slaad wrote:
Little Caesar Dretching wrote:
It wasn't me, I swear! I'm innocent! Takes celery stick, then points it at Ranch. It was him!
Get away from those other Slaads! We belong together.
They were mean to me! sucks on celery stick

There, there little buddy.

<Pulls Little Caesar Dretching close>

No, you're a murderer! I want Uncle Caesar! stabs Ranchy with celery stick

Ow! If you're going to do that, at least give me celery stick.

<Snatches celery from Little Caesar Dretching>

Yep. Still delicious. Anyway, you misunderstand. The Greek Slaad said she'd kill a Little Caesar Dretching. There might have been a 'for' in there, but I don't remember too clearly. I did it for you little buddy.

As in "kill for a little of that Caesar Slaad, Dretching?" ducks

Don't listen to him. He's not even a real Slaad.


<Look of horror>

They're eating the celery!


Ranch Dretching wrote:

<Look of horror>

They're eating the celery!

Not me... I'm a proud carnivore {bites head off Wafu Dretching}

Mmmm, crunchy. Needs more wasabi though.


Slaad-Barr wrote:
bites head off Wafu Dretching

telepathically: Ouch?!

Heya Ranchy D, I don't need a head to cuddle.


Slaad-Barr wrote:
Ranch Dretching wrote:

<Look of horror>

They're eating the celery!

Not me... I'm a proud carnivore {bites head off Wafu Dretching}

Mmmm, crunchy.

No. The poodles...the poodles...


Wafu Dretching wrote:
Slaad-Barr wrote:
bites head off Wafu Dretching

telepathically: Ouch?!

Heya Ranchy D, I don't need a head to cuddle.

<Recovers from terror-inducing-celery-eating-poodles>

Hey, Waffles. That's a good look for you. You know, I really do need a hug.


Ranch Dretching wrote:
No. The poodles...the poodles...

U rang?


SHRIEK!!!!

<Finds a carrot stick>

This is pointier. Have at thee, foul beast!


Dumm Pood-dull wrote:
U rang?

Wow, Dumm-inoes does deliver!

{shakes blood-spurting Wafu over Pood-dull...}


*runs in, drops a "landmine", then runs out again.*


Slaad-Barr wrote:
{shakes blood-spurting Wafu over Pood-dull...}

Pardon me good sir, but mayhaps you shouldn't -- er, I mean -- I'M A POOD-DULL! Durrrrr... drools


Clinically Depressed Poodle wrote:
*runs in, drops a "landmine", then runs out again.*

<Investigates "landmine">

S*+@! I've seen worse in the Abyss!


Dumm Pood-dull wrote:
-- I'M A POOD-DULL! Durrrrr... drools

{bites head off Pood-dull} Not as good as free-range dretching, but not bad for fast food.

Clinically Depressed Poodle wrote:
*runs in, drops a "landmine", then runs out again.*

Hey! Give me 15 minutes to digest this high-fiber Pood-DULL and I'll show you a landmine.


Slaad-Barr wrote:
Dumm Pood-dull wrote:
-- I'M A POOD-DULL! Durrrrr... drools

{bites head off Pood-dull} Not as good as free-range dretching, but not bad for fast food.

Clinically Depressed Poodle wrote:
*runs in, drops a "landmine", then runs out again.*

Hey! Give me 15 minutes to digest this high-fiber Pood-DULL and I'll show you a landmine.

<Ducks out of Slaad-Barr's way>

I want to keep my head.

Liberty's Edge

Bad dogs. Now war is open!


Hime uh puddle! Hallow!


Puddle wrote:
Hime uh puddle! Hallow!

<Stab! Stab! Stab!>

Die! Die! Die!

Liberty's Edge

Ranch Dretching wrote:
Slaad-Barr wrote:
Dumm Pood-dull wrote:
-- I'M A POOD-DULL! Durrrrr... drools

{bites head off Pood-dull} Not as good as free-range dretching, but not bad for fast food.

Clinically Depressed Poodle wrote:
*runs in, drops a "landmine", then runs out again.*

Hey! Give me 15 minutes to digest this high-fiber Pood-DULL and I'll show you a landmine.

<Ducks out of Slaad-Barr's way>

I want to keep my head.

Well, you killed one of our kind. You must die.

Cancel disguise self!
skin becomes deathly gray
pulls two wands out of belt pouches
laughs uncontrollably
Disintegrate!


Dumm Pood-dull wrote:
Slaad-Barr wrote:
{shakes blood-spurting Wafu over Pood-dull...}
Pardon me good sir, but mayhaps you shouldn't -- er, I mean -- I'M A POOD-DULL! Durrrrr... drools

Hallow, hime uh puddle two! Wat hopped too yuar hed?


Ranch Dretching wrote:
Puddle wrote:
Hime uh puddle! Hallow!

<Stab! Stab! Stab!>

Die! Die! Die!

Owl! Taht hert!


Fruit Slaad wrote:
Ranch Dretching wrote:
Slaad-Barr wrote:
Dumm Pood-dull wrote:
-- I'M A POOD-DULL! Durrrrr... drools

{bites head off Pood-dull} Not as good as free-range dretching, but not bad for fast food.

Clinically Depressed Poodle wrote:
*runs in, drops a "landmine", then runs out again.*

Hey! Give me 15 minutes to digest this high-fiber Pood-DULL and I'll show you a landmine.

<Ducks out of Slaad-Barr's way>

I want to keep my head.

Well, you killed one of our kind. You must die.

Cancel disguise self!
skin becomes deathly gray
pulls two wands out of belt pouches
laughs uncontrollably
Disintegrate!

Whew! Made my Fort save whatever that is. It must have been that "landmine" that I ate.


Puddle wrote:
Ranch Dretching wrote:
Puddle wrote:
Hime uh puddle! Hallow!

<Stab! Stab! Stab!>

Die! Die! Die!

Owl! Taht hert!

Why won't you die?!?

And stop trying to blow me up, Fruit Slaad!!!


Now I've got myself a pitchfork! Prepare to die, poodle!

Oh, yeah, if any of you want one, just talk to the Pitchfork Salesman. He was last seen here.


Aie! Poodles are most non-chaotic!

Tu Es Muertas, perro blanco!

chases poodles around Limbo Slaad Bar


Little Caesar Dretching wrote:
Ranch Dretching wrote:
Little Caesar Dretching wrote:
Caesar Slaad wrote:
Little Caesar Dretching wrote:
It wasn't me, I swear! I'm innocent! Takes celery stick, then points it at Ranch. It was him!
Get away from those other Slaads! We belong together.
They were mean to me! sucks on celery stick

There, there little buddy.

<Pulls Little Caesar Dretching close>

No, you're a murderer! I want Uncle Caesar! stabs Ranchy with celery stick

Stand behind me, dretching! Caesar Slaad will protect you.

Liberty's Edge

Ranch Dretching wrote:

Now I've got myself a pitchfork! Prepare to die, poodle!

Oh, yeah, if any of you want one, just talk to the Pitchfork Salesman. He was last seen here.

Jeez, ya give a dretch a weapon and he thinks he owns everything.

unsheathes +5 demon bane anarchic shocking keen scythe

The Exchange

Caesar Slaad wrote:
Little Caesar Dretching wrote:
Ranch Dretching wrote:
Little Caesar Dretching wrote:
Caesar Slaad wrote:
Little Caesar Dretching wrote:
It wasn't me, I swear! I'm innocent! Takes celery stick, then points it at Ranch. It was him!
Get away from those other Slaads! We belong together.
They were mean to me! sucks on celery stick

There, there little buddy.

<Pulls Little Caesar Dretching close>

No, you're a murderer! I want Uncle Caesar! stabs Ranchy with celery stick
Stand behind me, dretching! Caesar Slaad will protect you.

hides behind Caesar Slaad


Ranch Dretching wrote:

Now I've got myself a pitchfork! Prepare to die, poodle!

Oh, yeah, if any of you want one, just talk to the Pitchfork Salesman. He was last seen here.

Yelp, yelp, hime ham beeing opraseed!


Ranch Dretching wrote:

Now I've got myself a pitchfork! Prepare to die, poodle!

Oh, yeah, if any of you want one, just talk to the Pitchfork Salesman. He was last seen here.

Owl! Hime ham ateting dat stoopid Picturefoorker Saladsmann!


Taco Slaad wrote:

Aie! Poodles are most non-chaotic!

Tu Es Muertas, perro blanco!

chases poodles around Limbo Slaad Bar

Yua ham gotting dat rite!

Hitch kan sprinkles Dutchland aouch!
Ee Espaniel!
Ett Latinna!
Dan Englishlandese!

Liberty's Edge

Begone, stupid misspelling poodles!
Jeez, we only talked about invading in three posts!

Dark Archive

Puddle wrote:
Taco Slaad wrote:

Aie! Poodles are most non-chaotic!

Tu Es Muertas, perro blanco!

chases poodles around Limbo Slaad Bar

Yua ham gotting dat rite!

Hitch kan sprinkles Dutchland aouch!
Ee Espaniel!
Ett Latinna!
Dan Englishlandese!

You sound like someone I knew when I was trafficking mar... I mean, trafficking... um... traffic! Yeah, I was trafficking traffic. I mean directing traffic. Yeah. Um, forget you ever read this post, comprende?


Tyme too waige Holey Warr agenst thesis Slaades! Mye kween sayed their wood B ann armey.


<looks around, sees poodles>

Duh...

<looks behind poodles>

okey. i wuz hopeing four sumthing moar impressivating, butt thihs wille half too doo.

Liberty's Edge

Oh good, looks like I unsheathed my scythe just in time.
Charges at Dan Quayle


Dan Qu, er, Potatoe Slaade wrote:

<looks around, sees poodles>

Duh...

<looks behind poodles>

okey. i wuz hopeing four sumthing moar impressivating, butt thihs wille half too doo.

Wat ham yua hafting agingst puddles? Wee ham berry betre att Miss Spellling then yua!


I think you Slaads broke the messageboards...


Puddle wrote:
Dan Qu, er, Potatoe Slaade wrote:

<looks around, sees poodles>

Duh...

<looks behind poodles>

okey. i wuz hopeing four sumthing moar impressivating, butt thihs wille half too doo.

Wat ham yua hafting agingst puddles? Wee ham berry betre att Miss Spellling then yua!

You know, you'd probably do better at this invading if you sent more poodles. Together, you could bring down the Slaad, and stop their dreadful incursion! I could help, of course, but it will cost ya a bit.

Also, that'll be a 50 dollar consulting fee. Payable in those books you guys are always tearing up.


We need to lay off the dretchings and focus on the poodles. Besides, I need the dretchings. Nobody wants a tossed slaad without dretching.

Liberty's Edge

Tossed Slaad wrote:
We need to lay off the dretchings and focus on the poodles. Besides, I need the dretchings. Nobody wants a tossed slaad without dretching.

Okay. Maybe we should put Ranch under house arrest until we've conquered them, though. He has killed one of us before, and he may do so again.


Fruit Slaad wrote:
Tossed Slaad wrote:
We need to lay off the dretchings and focus on the poodles. Besides, I need the dretchings. Nobody wants a tossed slaad without dretching.
Okay. Maybe we should put Ranch under house arrest until we've conquered them, though. He has killed one of us before, and he may do so again.

Maybe we could find a low-fat ranch dretching. It would be a little better for me anyway, although they never taste the same...

Liberty's Edge

I think I know one... I'll see if I can look him up.


Hey y'all, Fruit said you guys were looking for someone like me. Whatya want?


Busy weekend. Only one picnic, but it was crashed by a biker gang. There almost wasn't enough of me to go around.

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