A servant brings out a silver skeleton, so artfully fitted that its articulations and vertebrae were all movable and would turn and twist in any direction.
Maeder took the thing and threw it upon his table a number of times, causing the loosely jointed limbs to take various postures, as he moralized thus:
Alas! how less than naught are we;
Fragile life's thread, and brief our day!
What this is now, we all shall be;
Drink and make merry while you may.
I somewhat nervously watch the performance, not being quite sure what to expect or do. Birthday parties at the Stewpot certainly are quite a different affair than this, but at least it's educational. Perhaps it's best Morduk didn't come along after all, I don't really know what his reaction would be to all this...
Leaning over, I half-whisper to Sillas "...Eh, what is all this? Do you know this jester character?"
I forget the egg that was brought around, but help myself to the rest of the food and may as well enjoy some of the wine (I pop off the seal, insert a straw, or however these daft rich folk manage to drink the stuff themselves)
Deerian watches the 'entertainment' in a slightly bemused fashion. He could have really done without more oddness today. It all seemed a little sinister and that set him on edge. Still he had a duty to perform so before Elli partook in anything the young half elf made sure he tried the fare first.
Irirangi is entranced. She eats very little and drinks nothing, watching the swirl of colours and drinking in the combination of smells, spectatcle and sound. To her it feels as if the party has wrapped her in gauze and shifted her to another world.
When she comes sufficiently back to herself, she watches Tervi closely, hoping to learn something new.
"BiatchQueen may think she has what it takes, but the little jester guy's just won my heart. He's got mad skills girlfriend."
Sillas sits quietly, basking in the otherwordly atmosphere his party has taken on.
Leaning over, I half-whisper to Sillas "...Eh, what is all this? Do you know this jester character?"
QUOTE]Sillas nods and quietly replies "Yes, he's one of my friends. It seems he decided to give me a sensible gift, rather than another trinket. It's quite the show he's putting on; I can't wait to see the full extent of it."
'He is an exceptionally skilled artist; he's outdone himself this time.'
While you chat, the servants bring around another set of trays, one for each table. They place it within perfect reach of each of the guests. While it looks chaotic at first, the dish begins to reveal itself.
Maeder snacks on his own version. The immense circular tray bears the twelve signs of the outer planes (Xoriat not present) displayed round the circumference, on each of which the arranger had placed a dish of suitable and appropriate viands: on Dal Quor monkey brains, on Irian a walnut, on Fernia fried testicles and kidneys, on Thelanis simply a crown, on Lammania Darguun figs, on Kythri a sow's haslet, on Daanvi a balance with a tart in one scale and a cheesecake in the other, on Mabar a small blind deep-sea-fish, on Dolurrh piglet ribs, on Shavarath a lobster, on Syrania a wild goose, and on Risia two mullets.
In the middle is a sod of green turf, cut to shape and supporting a honey-comb. Meanwhile servants circle around the tables, carrying bread around in a miniature oven of silver, humming to themselves in tune with the music.
"This...This is really too much, I think. I'm already getting full.", Merreck burps.
Iri glows as the show continues an the significance of the dishes appears.
"Sillas, you have no idea how grateful I am to have the chance to share this. You're fortunate in your friends. They must love you very much to take such trouble for you." she says impulsively.
After being in a near state of shock at the pure incomprehensibility of it all, I'm now appreciating the complete suspension of reality that is being accomplished. And I'll have to mention to Mum back at the Stewpot, maybe she could try to work up a Planar Themed Special, for each month of the year... You know... I have NO IDEA WHATSOEVER what it is I'm putting in my mouth just now, but... I THINK I'LL HAVE ANOTHER.
Playfully, Maeder begins again; " Please accept my humble apology; I see your blank, dry stares at attacking such common fare. I pray you gentlemen, begin; the best of your dinner is before you."
He bows in a grand sweep, in what one would assume is a signal to Thervi.
Thervi begins a loud chanting as she unfurls a large and dusty scroll. Instantly four tiny winged creatures materialize around Maeder. Four Mephits, each representing an elemental plane, swirl around him before flying off to each of the tables.
Keeping in time to the music, they whip off the top of the planar tray. This done, and beholding underneath, on a second tray in fact, stuffed capons, a sow's paps, and as a centerpiece a hare fitted with wings to represent a pegasus. Four Daelkyr figures, one at each corner of the tray, spout out peppered fish-sauce from their mouths over the fishes swimming in the channel of the dish.
Applause erupts as the guests laughingly fall upon the new treats. A servant, wielding sharp and impressive knives, approaches the main table's hare.
"Cut!", Maeder cried out, and the carver advanced upon the meat in time to the music. He sliced up the joint with such antics you might have thought him a jockey struggling to pull off a chariot-race to the thunder of an organ. Yet all the while Maeder repeats in a wheedling voice, "Cut! Cut!"
Maeder dances around to all the tables, poking randomly at guests with his flute.
"You see the man who is carving; well; his name is Cut. His master is calling and commanding him at one and the same time."
Sillas looks suitable impressed, both by the fare and the performance. Leaning forward slightly he says to Thervi "You and Maeder have done a masterful job on this performance." in a low voice.
"What a ridiculous show! I love it!"
"It's brilliant! Don't you see? The layers of this planar tray; the tray itself mimicks the movements of the planes. Constantly shifting, sometimes overlapping, but layered. I think. I don't know much about the planes, really, but I certainly know about layers. About what's underneath things. The masks, too. This whole thing is layered. This bouncy guy is a little freaky though."
"It must have been a heck of job to plan and organize this. The craftmanship of this tray alone...I don't know how Thervi could have done this. Maeder, maybe, but he must have been working on it for a long time."
While most of the room is still snacking on the pieces from the planar tray, and the carved Pegasi, a huge commotion is heard from either side of the room. From both entrances burst a wild pack of hunting dogs, who begin running around the tables, sniffing at the food, running between the legs.
Following them, and flanking them is another contingent of identically uniformed individuals; the same tight vest, loose sarong, and mask combination that the rest of the servants wore. The identity of these individuals is a little easier to guess, however. Each with their long, slender ears, and delicately curved bow, revealed a lineage that the mask could not hide. Standing at the ready, groups of four elves surround each table, bows taut and aimed at the ceiling.
These are soon succeeded by a huge tray, on which lay a wild boar of the largest size, with a familiar mask barely covering its own head, while from the tushes hung two little baskets of woven palm leaves, one full of Q'Barran dates, the other of Talenta.
Around it were little piglets of baked sweetmeat, as if sucking, to show it was a sow.
To carve the dish however, it was not 'Cut' who approached, but rather a great bearded dwarf, his mask exploding with facial hair. Drawing a large hunting knife, he made a furious lunge and gashed open the boar's flank, from which there flew out a number of fieldfares.
Thervi begins another low chant, this time stretching and pulling on a mass of sticky thread. While the birds released from inside the boar fly about the room, she conjures a massive web to catch them in. It spans the entire length of the hall, and hangs ominously above all the guests.
As the birds fly, one by one, into the hanging net, it appears to take on a semblance of life. Their fluttering and flapping animates the living net, as it strobes in time with the music. The lights, too, begin to strobe on and off, in beat with the rhythm of the pulsing net. Like a heartbeat, the whole room throbs with the pulse of the captured birds.
Until the arches begin to take their shots. One by one the birds are pierced; the strobing and the music slow with every death, until there is silence. Still, unmoving, dark.
The lights resume and with a snap, the web is dismissed, sending impaled birds to fall all around the room.
Instantly, the servants split; some began to gather the birds, while others ran to the baskets that were suspended from the animal's tushes and divided the two kind of dates in equal proportions among the diners.
"Lives entwined
inside the inside,
when all is dark
there's nowhere to hide."
Maeder does a bit of a tumble, before he continues, shoving one of the dates in his mouth;"Look what elegant acorns this wildwood pig fed on."
"That sunny dome ! those caves of ice !
And all who heard should see them there,
And all should cry, Beware ! Beware !
His flashing eyes, his floating hair !
Weave a circle round him thrice,
And close your eyes with holy dread,
For he on honey-dew hath fed,
And drunk the milk of Paradise.
My green-eyed darling, you feed me the most exotic dishes of the imagination ..."
Cassio's thought is positively purring.
As the guests continue to dig in, another huge cart is wheeled into the hall. Taking up a space where all can see it, an enormous hog is set up. This one appears to be even bigger than the boar of the previous course.
Maeder circled around the hog. Masked, he shows his displeasure with his body and movements.
"No. No, no, no, no, no! This will not do! The beast is not gutted! What fool of a cook would leave an intact beast like this. By the heavens! Call the cook in!"
The cook is escorted in; he is uniformed as all the others, but looks crestfallen. As he stands beside the beast, shoulders slumped, he is the image of a child being scolded by a parent.
"I....I...forgot."
"What! forgotten!" cried Maeder; "to hear him, you would suppose he'd just omitted a pinch of pepper or a bit of cumin. Strip him!"
Two of the elven hunters from earlier approach, grabbing the cook on either side. They strip him down, naked except for the mask.
Maeder grabs the cook's large knife, and holds it to the naked man's neck.
"This has gone on too far, I think. Hasn't it? I don't know anymore."
"Maeder! That's enough! This is wretched! It was probably an accident! There's so much food, it's understandable.", Tara cried out.
"Accidents do happen, I suppose..", Maeder says, as he playfully traces the knife's edge along the cook's throat.
"Kid, you better do something. This guy seems a little unstable."
"He's...not actually going to kill him...is he?"
Iri's distress at the death of the birds is only compounded by Maeder's antics with the chef.
"Sillas - he's your friend, and it's your party, but this isn't entertainment, this is torture. Make him stop. Please."
She spins rapidly to where Shift and Shake are sitting. "Shift, you know about this stuff and you're good at it. How much is real? I can't tell."
"Well...some? I know it's not a very good answer, but it's true. This bird, for example," Switch holds up the bird, perfectly skewered by the elf's arrow, and brings it to his mouth for a bite, "is cooked. As in, it was cooked, before it was shot. As in, it was somehow magically enchanted to fly about. Weird, I know, but the cruelty is absent, and the effect was breathtaking. I mean, I felt the throbbing of the captured birds. I felt it in my chest. But it was fake. I say...I say we just watch."
Switch takes another bite from his bird-kabob. "There's a reason House Phiarlan's elves are the masters of illusions and entertainment."
OK, I'm either already effected by the drink, or just hypnotized by the performace:
I run up toward Maeder and the Cook, pleading out (loud enough for most to hear):
"Ah, masterful Jester, you have shared an exquisite vision for us all tonight,
but please don't harm this man here, If he indeed helped cook the rest of the food still before us, his talent is to be praised as well. Indeed, I know that *I* cannot swallow another bite..."
"HOW DOES EVERYONE FEEL? Should this man be spared and thanked for his work, and this hog released as well? Have not we already enjoyed all the flavors and miracles of Khorvaire and beyond? WHAT SAY YE!?!?"
...and I stagger a bit, somewhat disorientated in the 'spotlight' as it were.
A chorus of outcries from the audience support Starlan's plea for the man's life. A number of voices are heard.
Tam steps forward, somewhat surprisingly, and cries; "Evidently he must be a villainously bad servant. To think of anybody forgetting to bowel a hog; I would not let the fellow off, if he'd shown such carelessness about a fish."
In immediate response, a drunk and curly headed man rises out of his seat;
"Please! Do forgive him this once. If ever he does it again, not one of us will say a word in his favour. But spare him! He has proven his worth enough this night!"
"Thanks Switch. You're much smarter than me. I hadn't spotted they were House Phiarlan elves."
Rising to her feet she applauds Starlan.
"Allow this honoured guest to guide us in the ways of mercy. A birthday boon Sillas."
"Jeepers girlfriend. When did you start stealing Cassio's dictionary and heading back four centuries? Get a grip. You sound like a dork."
Sillas sits silently in his seat, watching the performance over his steepled fingers. 'What a performance you've put on. A pity I never had a buisness partner with your skill.'
When the request to spare the chef's life is made, he smiles ever so slightly 'You clever man. You had to know someone would object. You planned this all out.'
Sillas pauses for a moment, finally raising his right hand, palm up. "I suppose that, in light of his other works this evening, he can be forgiven this one error. Spare his life, o masterful Jester, and let us continue our festivities."
"And now we know what is inside of you. Compassion, compassion, compassion." Maeder gives a large bow to Sillas and turns again to the sobbing, humiliated cook.
"Then, a chance to redeem yourself," Maeder says, tossing the large carving knife back to him, "as you have such a bad memory. Bowel him now, where we all can see. Do it quick, the guests are quite hungry."
A large silver trough is wheeled in and brought to bear underneath the bloated belly of the animal.
The cook resumes his uniform, seizes his knife and with a trembling hand slashes open the animal's belly. In a flash, the apertures widen under the weight behind them, and out tumbles an immense lot of sausages and black-puddings.
Easily filling up the trough, the servants begin madly wheeling it around the room, distributing them as evenly as possible to all of the guests, while the cook continues his duties carving up the hog.
"That's actually kinda gross."
"So very artfully done though."
"Do you think there's a vegetarian option?"
Irirangi leans over to Ellirayne and voices this very quietly. As much as she's admiring the artistry at work, the whole event is starting to feel like something Dahl had created wholesale in her head without her permission.
To take her mind off the strange masked figures, she looks around the room.
Amid the confusion and flurry of servants delivering portions of the carved hog, another layer of food begins to pile up on the tables.
First, a figure of Olladra, God of Feast and Good Fortune (represented carrying a huge burden of grapes), the handiwork of a pastry-chef takes up a central position, from which many more desserts are soon added. Trays of cakes begin to pile up around the figure.
Walking over to Sillas is Madame Vraxeris, a grin from ear to ear. Her face stained a bright yellow, she takes his hand in hers.
"Sillas, I'm so very happy that we were able to celebrate your birthday this year. It's the first one since...well, since the attack. Your friends and I we both concerned with your disposition after it, and I can only hope now that your spirits have fully returned. When Thervi and Maeder begged me to lend them creative licence over the event, I couldn't resist. And I'm glad I didn't. This whole performance is breathtaking. I mean, the costumes for these servants alone! Fantastic! Although I suspect that a great many of them are members of House Phiarlan. I wonder what kind of favours he had to pull in....No matter. The point is, your friends love you very much, and I'm sure you know that. Never lose sight of that; of who you are, what you have, and those who love you."
She leans across the table to plant a kiss right on Sillas' forehead, the smell of sweet wine mingling with perfume on her person.
I watch Sillas' interaction with his friend silently...
Are there any Halfing cuties around this place, anyways?
Still coughing a little from saffron, Sillas tries not to look away from his 'mother' as she speaks. Nodding, he smiles and says "Yes, thank you mother. Thank all of you. All of this means a great deal to me."
He takes up his napkin, to try and clear the powder from his face a little, composing himself again, slipping back into his role.