"Yeah. And just what do you think you've been doing? I mean, girlfriend here's just been sitting frying her brains and talking to Dahl. And that is just never good."
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"Hey girlfriend, whatever happened to privacy?"
"Smartarse."
"Girlfriend, don't even think about answering that."
"Girlfriend, you know what? You have turned into little Miss Shove Everyone Around lately. Can you stop doing that? It's getting old."
"Well, damn, now I know I'm in the wrong head."
"Fun sucker. I love going shopping."
"You've turned into a whole bunch of no fun at all since you met Mr Tall Dark and Handsome and the Ring bearers. Have it your own way." Iri blushes.
"What the hell kind of note is that going to be girlfriend? "Sorry mom, just popping across the world to rob a bank with some people I met yesterday"? That's going to go well."
"Good luck with that one girlfriend. If you can find a legal way of shutting up Cassio you'll get my gratitude. Not that I think that's even possible. Cassio - that last bit of verse - TA-CKY"
"Girlfriend, look who showed up. The long lost heirs. Cassio - wake up, Green Eyes II and Thumper are back."
"Finally you break out of love's young dream and engage your brain. It's about time. Go see the Super Priest and get the cash."
"Yeah. Good call girlfriend. There's no possible way anyone can tell the difference between a zombie and a living person. Jeez. You're supposed to have a brain under that hair."
"Dahl - is this your doing? Just checking." Aphra too sounds uneasy, not quite her usual snippy self.
"Spare me the bleeding hearts purleese. Come on girlfriend, this isn't tragic kittens in lift crush drama, this is two pampered Dragonmarked heirs having to think for themselves for once in their lives. Oh yeah, and while we're on the subject what did Soggypants the Betrothed have to say for himself?"
"Khyber's rocks, what's this even about? Guy gives you a free moment of happy at a party and you freak out. That makes sense."
"You could do worse girlfriend. He's kind of soggy though. Go dance with Birthday Boy, you know you want to. Floozy. Yeah yeah, don't grit your teeth at me Missy. I know that face."
"What is going on with you girlfriend? Is this night of the strange substances or what - will you get a grip right now before I turn into your mama and smack you."
"Jeepers girlfriend. When did you start stealing Cassio's dictionary and heading back four centuries? Get a grip. You sound like a dork."
"BiatchQueen may think she has what it takes, but the little jester guy's just won my heart. He's got mad skills girlfriend."
"Someone's in a snit. Did you upset her girlfriend?"
"Says the girl who can spray acid from her fingertips..."
"He's a rogue and a thief is what he means. Cassio, you're losing your touch. Cut it out. Hey! - you did good back there. Nice work with the spells. Impressive fingerwork. But got to say, butterflies ... that's really tacky."
"Hey, girlfriend - how's about recruiting these guys for your little bank job? Let's not waste the talent."
"GIRLFRIEND! What in Khyber was in that stuff? Did you take stupid pills. Knock that moron out before you get hurt. Situation!"
"Darn right that's him. Girlfriend's sitting in the back seat smoking with some illisionist type. She's lost the plot."
"Way to go girlfriend. You need to be soooo glad your mama can't see you. "Irirangi, you're sitting in a dustbin ruining your LUNGS. Is this how you repay your family? Have you no sense of decorum? What kind of excuse have you got this time for embarrassing me?" Aphra's voice is a cruel imitation of Juliana. "Gotta say - it's a way better look for you. Just ditch the party, roll with these guys."
"Girlfriend, your mother has really lost is this time. One word. Just one. Tac-ky. Aphra's voice cannot possibly convey any more contempt.
"Girlfriend - I hate to interrupt your special time with the Super Priest, but you've got a party to go and a mother to placate. Just move it on out. Sillas, girlfriend's a mess, she'll see you later. Save the wacky bank job til then, OK?"
"Holy moly girlfriend, what exactly are you planning to tell him? "Oh it was this way, a chest fell at my feet and a ring went twinkle, twinkle, pick me up and suddenly total strangers are sharing your skull? He's going to lock you up and exorcise you, not entrust you with some mission worth a fortune in gold."
"Way to go girlfriend. Forgetting your boss is NOT clever. Hustle, hustle hustle. Yeah, why not take shortstuff with you, they may have lots in common."
"Come on folks. It's make your minds up time. Let's be moving. Places to go, people to see."
"You got the last part right girlfriend. Your mama is going to explode if you're not back in time to get gussied up. Big night remember? Got to meet up with Mr Probably A Great Alliance Sorry About the Pustules remember?"
Girlfriend, quit messing about with the first aid. Slap him and get him awake so he can talk to us." Irirangi's hand comes back and almost without thinking she does indeed slap the halfling's face. Quite hard.
"Well now what a surprise, butter-wouldn't-melt Dragonmarked scions. "they rolled to our feet". Yeah. And I am the pen of my auntie's garden. Spill you two. You seem very knowledgeable about something that arrived by accident."
"Standing right here smarty. That's all this picnic party needed. Twin aristos, a fashion victim, a bouncing halfling, Cassio in lech mode, Dahl who knows where, Benefor hrumphing and you going twitchy on me. Stuff Benefor's views girlfriend. Have that drink, I'm going to need it."
"Right here short stuff. And girlfriend, see if Green-Eyes II can lend you a hairbrush. You're a mess. Also, the hands - wash them right now. Acid ray and kobold. Not a great mix."
"He's going to regret taking that hand girlfriend. Kobold goo." as we get closer "Ignore Cassio Twinnies - he's an unreliable sneak thief with a thing for green eyes. I'm so gonna hurl."
"Well, you did find me."
"Relax girlfriend. Hold your head up and set a new trend. The garbage look is in this year. We'll talk about that haircut later."
"Well hellooo? Did you all take stupid pills this morning? Someone or something goes around dropping magic rings like sweeties. Oh my gosh how very cute. Where are we all? Because if those rings fell from the same place, that's where I'd go to ask questions. But hey, what do I know. Girlfriend, I can see your face too, so no snark from you missy."
Someone hit his off switch before I hit him.
"Mind your mouth soldier man. I can take care of myself. I can speak for myself too. Aphra. That's all you need to know until I know more myself. Druid magic - phooey. Sorcery is what I think."
"Take my advice and ignore him. Girlfriend, who are these people and what are they doing here? A little more caution and a little less chat. Just in case you're wondering Lyrander scions, Iri can melt you where you stand. Hurt her and she'll hurt you right back."
"Yeah. You’re in the wrong head Mister. Shift on out."
"You're not a bard Cassio. You're a lecherous sneak-thief with a glib tongue."
"Better get it right girlfriend. This is not the time to make mistakes. Remember when you cast Light on your duvet? Your mother was not pleased. "Irirangi, don't do that, it upsets the staff""
"Don't even think about going there Cassio. This girl is getting married. No poetry. Girlfriend, that thing about appropriate response levels? You might just want to apply it a little more generally."
"OK. Overkill girlfriend. You and I need to talk about appropriate response levels. Now pick up that symbol and let's move it along shall we. Oh - and wash your hands, because I'm telling you acid on the face is not a good look."
If this gets any more maudlin I'll hurl. There is a situation going on here. Keep the lovey-dovey for later you two.
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