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You are the heroes of the Licktoad Tribe, living legends after you triumphed against the terrible goblin cannibal Vorka and recovered many fireworks from her lair. Your tribe used the fireworks to great effect, but one day while you were out scrounging for more fireworks, adventurers came into the swamp and wiped out your tribe. You returned to your home to find it in ruins.
Now homeless, you have decided to travel to the closest tribe of goblins you know about—the Birdcrunchers. Maybe they’ll have room for you to join! Only, now that you’ve arrived in Birdcruncher territory, something seems wrong.
The Birdcrunchers appear unusually nervous and frightened,cowering around the entrance to their cave. They aren’t even trying to defend their territory. And now, a wrinkled old goblin with bulging eyes is waddling out of the crowd, approaching you. She’s obviously some sort of shaman—maybe even the chieftain. If anyone here knows whether or not you can join the tribe, it’d likely be her!
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The wrinkled old goblin woman who approaches has eyes bulging from her wrinkled face, and she walks hunched over, leaning on a gnarled wooden staff decorated with puppy tails and horse ears. She wears a ratty doghide gown cinched with a rope belt from which hang dog’s paws, a pair of horseshoes, a fearsomely large dead stirge, and the pickled and shrunken head of a bright blue mite.
Hi lady! Are you a Birdcruncher? We're trying to find the Birdcrunchers. I'm Poog, high cleric of Zarongel. Have you embraced the gospel of Zarongel?
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Wise Mummy Sprattleharsh says:
“Well, well! What have we here? Licktoads, by the look of you, and from what I hear, orphans as well, hmm? Looking for a new place to live, I suspect? Well, you might be in luck, because we need new blood. Our own chieftains have been... lacking... in chieftainish ways. We’ve been having problems lately with an ogre and his fire-breathing boars, you see, and any goblins capable of killing the boars and driving off the ogre... or driving off the boars and killing the ogre... or... or whatever—well, they’ll not only be welcomed into Birdcruncher territory with open arms. They’ll be made chieftains, one and all!”
With that, the gathered birdcruncher goblins suddenly animate into cheers and song. Eager and excited, they surge out of the cave to welcome their saviors, but suddenly freeze as the old woman shrieks out a command for silence. The goblins freeze in place, and she continues in a softer voice. “But we can’t just assume you’re the stuff chieftains are made of. You might just be lucky. No, no... before we accept you as our saviors and before you’ll even have a chance to face off against Pa Munchmeat and his pig... I declare we have a Chieftain Moot!”
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The gathered goblins erupt into cheers again, and you all know why—a Chieftain Moot is a day-long festival of games and dares, a tradition among the local tribes when the need to select a new chief arises. Those
goblins who want to be considered for the role must endure a number of trials during the moot, and if they survive and win, they earn the respect and support of the rest of the tribe.
Wise Mummy Sprattleharsh barks a few orders, and the Birdcrunchers scurry off to start organizing the moot.
Wise Mummy Sprattleharsh says:"Follows me you'se does, haves a seat inside cave and warm feet at fire there whiles we waits for Chieftan Moot to start"
She then shuffles off inside the cave to wait for the preperations to finish.
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You get to spend a day and a night resting and preparing for the next day’s moot. Most of the Birdcrunchers spend the day preparing for the moot itself (and they’re unusually secretive, for goblins, about what types of dares and trials they’re readying).
That evening, a huge feast is held around the cave’s central bonfire. The feast consists almost entirely of various bird dishes—seagull soup, charred grackle, raven’s-eye pudding, vulture-ups, spicy sparrow poppers, and squeaky beakies are just a portion of the often-challenging dishes presented during the night.
The feast also gives you a chance to talk to the Birdcrunchers and learn a bit more about what’s going on in the region.
As darkness falls, Wise Mummy brings out the fabled Crunchy Crown of the Birdcruncher Tribe—a crown made out of bird skulls and bones and wings and twigs. She places the Crunchy Crown near the bonfire, then proclaims;
"Tomorrow, we Birdcrunchers will have a new chief!, and this one will be able to kick that ugly Munchmeat ogre out of Ravenroost!"
She then says:" Whomever off youz can prove his or her worth tomorrow at the moot will be granted the right not only to wear the Crunchy Crown, but also the right to loot the Chieftain’s treasure chest!".
At this, the Birdcrunchers oooh and ahhh appropriately.
Mogmurch definitely be new chief, the alchemist thinks, am cleverest Licktoad after all.
He enjoys the feast, taking time to get to know his new victi—friends to set on fire... accidentally of course.
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The next day after your arrival at the Birdcruncher tribe, the goblins are ready and eager to begin the moot. The chieftains-in-waiting (as the contestants are known) must endure three dares—the winner is the goblin who earns the most points across these three dares.
"You readies to show us who'd be new Chieftan?"
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The first dare takes place in a valley to the south of the birdcrunchers’ cave. The chieftains-in-waiting are led to the center of the valley, blindfolded, and given a short bow and three arrows each (each contestant’s arrows have fletching of a different color from those of the other contestants so the arrows can be identified after they’re shot).
The Birdcrunchers clamber into trees or sit on rocks that ring the valley while Wise Mummy Sprattleharsh explains the rules to the blindfolded contestants: She will release three cages of seagulls over the course of a minute, and the blindfolded goblins must shoot down as many of them as possible. The gulls in the first flock are worth 2 points, those in the second 4 points, and those in the third 6 points, but each consecutive flock is a bit farther away than the previous one, making it more difficult to notice.
This dare is more about luck than accuracy. As the dare begins, a few rounds of relative silence (punctuated now and then by goblin sounds) pass before the first cage is released. Wise Mummy swiftly dives to the ground, and each contestant must attempt a Perception check to determine by sound where the flock of panicked birds is flying, then attempt an attack roll to hit a seagull. Targeting the first flock with an arrow while blind requires a successful Perception check (DC 8)(this is not an opposed Perception check, and thus being blind does not modify the check), but distance is increasingly a factor with the following two flocks—a higher (DC 11)Perception check is needed to target the second flock, and an even higher (DC 14)successful check to target the third. A goblin who successfully targets a flock can attempt a normal attack roll to hit a seagull (AC 14, with a 50% miss chance) and score the appropriate number of points.
Mogmurch listens carefully, then fires his arrow.
This silly way to decide chief. Chief should be goblin who knows most about goblin gods.
Poog will try the bow dare, but doesn't think he'll do well.
When you goblins going to release second bird?
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Poog manages to shoot his first arrow in the general direction of the seaguls but The shot is a spectacularly bad miss that earns nothing but jeers and insults.
Poog then turns in a different direction for his second shot and has no idea where to shoot..the same goes for the farthest flock
Chuffy nails the first seagull (2 points), just barely missed the second one because a blindfolded Reta was in the way deflection the arrow with her shoulder Chuffy then refocusses and nails the most difficult seagull (6 points).
Reta uses goblin cunning to become greatest chieftan even and waits for the first flocks to clear her line of fire before rapidly shooting her arrows at the birds worth the mostest pointsis! But she misses both her attempts her first shot comes dangerously close to hitting a goblin in the crowd, resulting in shrieks and her second shot does hit a goblin in the surrounding crowd, resulting in one shriek and a lot of laughter (earns 1 point). and because of the noise she can't hear the birds after that anymore.
points:
Mogmurch: 2
Reta: 1
Chuffy: 8(2+6)
Poog: 0
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The second dare takes the contestants and the crowd to the west, where a particularly low valley has subsided into a permanent swamp of nasty standing water. A failed attempt by the Birdcrunchers to build a bunch of huts on stilts left behind a haphazard arrangement of wobbly posts protruding from the boggy ground. The goblins have laid wooden planks across several of these posts, creating narrow bridges that stand 10 feet off the ground.
In this dare, the contestants all begin on the southern shore of the bog and are fitted with wide, clumsy, human boots. A single stirge on a 5-foot-long tether is tied to each of the red posts. The goal of this game is to kill as many stirges as possible (preferably by stomping, which qualifies as an unarmed strike, but any method of stirge killing is
allowed) without falling into the swamp below.
Wise Mummy says:"You kill stirges now. Each stirge worth 2 points. Once all 12 stirges are dead,dare ends. Once you fall in mud, you not allowed to join in dare anymore. Dare ends when only one goblin left. Last goblin wins 5 points.
She then points at some human sized boots
"Also you wear these now."
As soon as you all have put on your boots she pulls out a small stone out of a pocket and throws it on the ground. There is a loud thunderious noise and the race is on!
init.
Chuffy
Poog
Reta
Mogmurch
Poog is losing. So Poog is going to cheat.
Poog puts on the boots, and very carefully walks out past Chuffy.
Once in the midst of all the stirges, Poog holds his holy symbol aloft and yells at the top of his lungs
Mighty Zarongel says all you stirges die now!
Once the wave of dark energy passes over the stirges and goblins, Poog turns to his companions
Not worry. Poog will use magic to make you better now.
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Chuffy walks forward and stomps on one of the stirges, squishing it flat.(2 points)
Poog then walks forward and channels _EVERYTHING_ (except 1 of the stirges)
The remaining stirges seems quite mad now.
points:
Mogmurch: 6
Reta: 1
Chuffy: 10(2+8)
Poog: 10
init.
Mogmurch
Reta
Stirges
Chuffy
Poog
The only stirges left alive are: 2,5,7,10 and 11 (and all of them have suffered 3 damage) and 12 (no damage)
Mogmurch's eyes narrow as Poog's channeled energy washes over him. For a moment, he contemplates "accidentally" setting fire to Poog, but instead moves along the shore a bit to get a better view of a group of the now injured stirges, throws together a bomb, gives one more wistful look at his preferred target (Poog), and throws the incendiary concoction at a cluster of stirges.
Poog decides to get off the rickety planks before he falls in the muck.
Mogmurch throws another bomb at the post hoping to finish off the two stirges.
Mogmurch throws another bomb at the post hoping to finish off the two stirges.
He then makes his way onto the planks.
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Mogmurch's bomb takes down 2 more stirges before walking up the planks while Poog moves off the rickety planks
points:
Mogmurch: 10(6+4)
Reta: 1
Chuffy: 12 (10+2)
Poog: 10
Init.
Reta
Stirges (maybe)If no one is next to a still alive stirge we can skip their turn
Chuffy
Poog
Mogmurch
2,5,= 3 damage
12 no damage
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Chuffy moves carefully over the planks, jumping to a different beam and stabs one of the stirges (2 points).
points:
Mogmurch: 10(6+4)
Reta: 1
Chuffy: 14 (12+2)
Poog: 10
Init.
Reta (if she wants to jump back in)
Poog
Mogmurch
Chuffy
Stirges (maybe)If no one is next to a still alive stirge we can skip their turn
5,= 3 damage
12 no damage