More of a fan of The Littles
More of a fan of The Littles
Ah, now that you did that, I have to post my sad history of the Smurfs (you will see how this connects to the main point in volume two of this sad tale). This was in response to a post on another board, "who would win, Smurfs or Snorks?:
Part the First
The Smurfs, but not under normal circumstances. The Snorks would be forced out of their natural terrain by some bizzare magical experiment of Gargamel. He would then employ an illusion to make the Snorks think that the Smurfs were the cause of the invasion of their aquatic home. The Snorks, believing that the Smurfs wanted them dead, sadly decide to gird themselves for war, and manage to find their hidden village.
A few skirmishes break out, and Papa Smurf finds the Snorks dangerous but honorable. He tries to use his magic to scry on them to find out why this potential ally has come into conflict with his Smurfs. Eventually he tries to go and visit them in person and have an open negotiation with them, but after a misunderstanding, the Snorks end up attacking a party of Smurfs that followed Papa "for his own good," and Papa Smurf is mortally wounded.
Papa Smurf begs his Smurfs, with is dying breath, to forgive the Snorks, to seek peace with them, and not to give into the dark blue hatred in their hearts. But by this time its too late. Snork/Smurf warfare is heated and deadly, and one Smurf in particular, a former apprentice of Papa Smurf's, decides that desperate measures are needed.
Putting on a black hat and "tail cut out" pants, and dubbing himself Necromancer Smurf, Necro Smurf delves into ancient texts that Papa Smurf had hidden from the rest of the world and vowed never to use. Necromancer Smurf animates the dead of the battlefield, Smurf and Snork alike, and turns them against the Snork invaders, and each death leads to another undead minion of Necro Smurf.
The other Smurfs, at first happy at Necro Smurf's victories, came to view him as a smurfing nutbag. They feared his power, and thus saught to supplant him. Eventually he killed every one of them and animated their corpses, creating a Smurf Village filled with the undead servants comprised of the corpses of the Snorks and Smurfs. As a final show of the darkness that had taken hold in Necro Smurf's heart, he gives several Smurfs the semblance of life, poisons their bodies with a potent poison brewed from the ichor of demons, and sends them to Gargamel, who devours them and then dies himself.
In the end, Necromancer Smurf rules supreme over all of the lands once wandered by the Smurfs, alone save for his army of animated corpses, and the haunting memories of his old friends and mentor.
The Smurfs win . . . but at what cost?
Part the Second
For years Necro Smurf sits on his throne of broken dreams, his very touch decaying everything that he has ever loved. Johann, Pee Wee, Balthazar, and all of the other nearby inhabitants have fallen to his ravenous need for life energies. Necro Smurf has unnaturally infused himself with the life force of others, staving off the stalking hunter known as death. Does he do this for vanity (no, not that one), or because he lusts for even more power? No, he prolongs his life because the only thing that still causes Necro Smurf fear is the thought of meeting his friends, and his former mentor, in the Lands of the Dead. He cannot face them, and as such, he cannot let go of this life, even if it costs a thousand innocent lives. Centuries pass in the blink of an eye as Necro Smurf lay brooding about his eternal torment.
In the meantime, the Little are an industrious people that have a knack for figuring out gadgets and simple technology, and a love of aiding the humans with which they share their oversize home. They also have a knack for adventure and exploring, and eventually the cheerful little creatures come across an invention that none of them can resist, a colorful contraption of steel, wire, and flashing lights that becons them. At first, they believe that mere curiosity drives them forward, but then they realize that the machine is actually calling them, echoing in their mind.
None of them is sure of who the first Little that touches the beacon is. In that moment of molten clarity, the first Little to touch the machine is reborn, the avatar of the alien technology far beyond the comprehension of those that dwell upon this emerald orb. The Prime Little, as the creature now calls itself, now realizes what must be done. It needs drones, workers to aid him in his quest, and his burning psionic gaze dominates the will of every little that he makes eye contact with. They are not just enslaved, but are assimilated, one with the Prime Little and his Machine God, though their presesnse is little more than the faint echo of sobbing at the back of his skull. Somewhere in his mind, he beleives that he too should cry, but the concious part of The Prime Little realizes that tears are an empty pursuit.
Now that he has drones, the only way to truly realize the full power of the Machine God is to awaken the main component of his body, the ship that crashed on this spinning planet thousands of years ago. The ship that lies dormant, deep in the underworld that lies beneath what once was the Smurf Village. And so the Prime Little sets off, after . . . modifying his fellow littles, helping them to realize their full potential as the limbs of the Machine God, adding to them the perfection of steel and energy, and girding their frail flesh with skin and bones of metal.
Eventually the Prime Little and his companions arrive near where the Machine God senses the lost ship that it arrived in. And it is at this time that the littles first confront what is left of the smurfs. Smurf zombies fall upon the cyborg sprites, and for the first time, the blue zombie horde is turned back, blasted and torn, left in smoking ruin before the face of the Littles.
Necro Smurf senses that something is wrong, and confronts the interlopers himself. He finds that his spells cannot draw off the life force of the machine things before their mechanical halves repair them, and he falls back, in a panic over the apparent armaggeddon about to be visited upon his Silent Kingdom. He does what he hates, what he fears most. He has vowed never to do this, but he draws forth the tome that will tell him how to call back the spirit of Papa Smurf.
Necro Smurf calls up the soul of Papa Smurf from the Elysian Applefields of the Smurf afterlife, and he appears stern, with a cold stare in his incorporeal eyes. Papa Smurf tells Necro Smurf that the Machine God will eventually dominate all life on the planet, and no one will be safe. He tells Necro Smurf that there is no way that he can survive the onslaught of the Prime Little, but therein might lie the undoing of the Machine God. Before he can ask any questions, Papa Smurf returns to the Applefields.
Necro Smurf is confused at first, but then realizes what Papa Smurf meant. He confronts the Littles and their leader, and begins casting his lifedraining spell again, but this time, with reckless abandon. He syphons in more life energy than he ever has, so much so that his own body begins to decay, withered by years of unnatural infusions of vital essense. The Prime Little screams in impotant rage as his minions are syphoned dry, and Necro Smurf, swollen with energy, smiles a sad smile. The Prime Little shakes his head no, eyes wide, as Necro Smurf explodes, releasing all of the life energy of hudreds of years of predations upon the Prime Little, disintegrating him and destroying all remnants of the Machine God.
The soul of Necro Smurf prepares to venture to the underworld, but a voice behind him says, "I'm proud of you Necro Smurf, in the end you did the right thing. And you smurfed those smurfing cold hearted smurfers right in the smurf while doing it."
After all these centuries, and an overly long and wasted life, Necro Smurf was finally being called home by Papa Smurf . . .
Smurfs-2, Littles-0
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Yeah, your prancy little Care Bears are all good and cute, Daigle, but we'll see how cute they are after I stat up the Wuzzles for my suppliment "The Land of Wuzz: Every Single Thing is Really Two Horrors in One." Hard to focus a Care Bare Stare when you have a meter of Rhinokey horn sticking you between the two held balls...or something like that.
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Yeah, your prancy little Care Bears are all good and cute, Daigle, but we'll see how cute they are after I stat up the Wuzzles for my suppliment "The Land of Wuzz: Every Single Thing is Really Two Horrors in One." Hard to focus a Care Bare Stare when you have a meter of Rhinokey horn sticking you between the two held balls...or something like that.
Cousins.....CALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Whenever the CBs are in trouble, that's all they gotta do!
Plus, they always win!
Potions of Jump for the Gummi Bears, but for humans they become Potions of Bull Strength.
You didn't hear the lore that Sunshine Bear swallowed a beholder in a beholder swallowing contest? I thought everyone knew that.
My 3.5 year old son picked up my beholder fig the other day. He asked what it was. When I told him, he asked, "Are there bees in it now?"
Director of Narrative
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Ahh, but the Gummi Bears!
I forgot about half of these shows!
Edit: Potions of Jump!
I remember that cartoon. There was this one episode with this bounty hunter looking guy with a broad brimmed hat and I think boomerangs or something.
Contributor
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My 3.5 year old son picked up my beholder fig the other day. He asked what it was. When I told him, he asked, "Are there bees in it now?"
That's awesome.
Next time he expresses interest in the mini, ask him "How many bees could a beholder hold if a beholder could hold bees?"
Actually, that's really kinda dumb, so nevermind. ;D
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RPG Superstar 2011 Top 32
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I remember that cartoon. There was this one episode with this bounty hunter looking guy with a broad brimmed hat and I think boomerangs or something.Ahh, but the Gummi Bears!
I forgot about half of these shows!
Edit: Potions of Jump!
*Ahem*
And you haven't statted him up yet...because?
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Director of Narrative
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I remember that cartoon. There was this one episode with this bounty hunter looking guy with a broad brimmed hat and I think boomerangs or something.Ahh, but the Gummi Bears!
I forgot about half of these shows!
Edit: Potions of Jump!
*Ahem*
And you haven't statted him up yet...because?
I had a fighter/thief back when I was 14 or 15 that favored him quite a bit. No way in hell I was gonna tell those guys then that the guy was partially inspired by a Gummi Bears cartoon.
Also, like Stephen Colbert, I'm not terribly comfortable with all this bear talk. Not to mention, random-pop-culture-statting-on-the-fly is an ability I only get once per week.
I have seen a strange advertisment featuring care bears. For some reason they were dressed in leather and holding whips. What does this mean care bearers?
This could also be a question for Mr. Bizzaro. He of the want not wanting to help.
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I remember that cartoon. There was this one episode with this bounty hunter looking guy with a broad brimmed hat and I think boomerangs or something.
Yeah, he was very Clint Eastwood-esque and carried a crossbow that shot boomerangs... boomerangs attached to ropes, if memory serves. I statted him out in late grade school or so.
I remember that cartoon. There was this one episode with this bounty hunter looking guy with a broad brimmed hat and I think boomerangs or something.Ahh, but the Gummi Bears!
I forgot about half of these shows!
Edit: Potions of Jump!
While not entirely on track, I did find this:
http://werevarmint.timduru.org/Art/GB/Gummi%20Bears%20v2.0.pdf
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Director of Narrative
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I remember that cartoon. There was this one episode with this bounty hunter looking guy with a broad brimmed hat and I think boomerangs or something.Ahh, but the Gummi Bears!
I forgot about half of these shows!
Edit: Potions of Jump!
While not entirely on track, I did find this:
http://werevarmint.timduru.org/Art/GB/Gummi%20Bears%20v2.0.pdf
I'm sorry. I, uh, have...no other way to, um, say this, but
Holy Shit!!!
I'm sorry. I, uh, have...no other way to, um, say this, but
Holy s@##!!!
I thought the same thing! But then, I wondered back to the original .ORG. It reminded me of a Star Trek game at GenCon back in Milwaukee:
Decipher had just released the new Star Trek RPG. A couple of friends and myself wondered how well it flowed, since they had a lot of LUG people working for them. We really wanted to play the LotR RPG, but nobody was demoing.
So, we got this guy who admitted he didn't know all the rules and was only a volunteer. We were OK with this so we sat down and got ready to play.
All of a sudden, he pulls out this GM screen that had human bodies with animal heads (I can't remember the real life term for it). He must have seen our confusion and explained that he played or wrote for this specific game system. We shrugged and went on...
The adventure was basically that there was a Star Fleet ship that crashed on this planet and we had to go recon for the guy and bring him back without disturbing the existing culture. We crash landed on the planet and needed to cover our existance while working with the populus to find and retrieve the unwilling to leave Star Fleet guy.
A little background about me and my friends. I'm not a big Trekkie, so I referred to my phaser as a blaster (of Star Wars fame). We were also at GenCon and having fun. It was a loud convention center and we were disrupted by a TechTV guy (the guy with the blond thin hair on G4). Finally, we don't do well in the murder/mystery games and this one worked pretty much that way.
So, as we're having fun in a game that we would probably forget the next day, we didn't pay a lot of attention or make notes. Finally, we made our mistake. We called the natives of the planet "Deer People" one too many times (as they were explained that they had slightly different facial features and antlers).
The guy lashed out at us and said, "They're called the Huth!" Apparently, he took his Fuzzy Human/Animal hybrid game to the level of almost White Wolf proportions!
Anyway, that's my story. Continue on...
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RPG Superstar 2011 Top 32
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I remember that cartoon. There was this one episode with this bounty hunter looking guy with a broad brimmed hat and I think boomerangs or something.Ahh, but the Gummi Bears!
I forgot about half of these shows!
Edit: Potions of Jump!
While not entirely on track, I did find this:
http://werevarmint.timduru.org/Art/GB/Gummi%20Bears%20v2.0.pdf
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Oh my god.
Someone had waaaay too much time on their hands.
So I actually read the introduction. I noted to a close friend that, "I have always thought that the Gummi Bears would fit perfect into a D&D setting". Not to sound like a jerk, but why didn't this friend laugh at him for hours on end? I mean, isn't that what true friends are for?
So I actually read the introduction. I noted to a close friend that, "I have always thought that the Gummi Bears would fit perfect into a D&D setting". Not to sound like a jerk, but why didn't this friend laugh at him for hours on end? I mean, isn't that what true friends are for?
You didn't look at the base URL, did ya? His friends are "furries". I read a little bit of it. Actually well thought out, which is scary.
I propose that just as the use of the term smurf turns us posters into smurfs, the use of the term carebear turns our avatars to carebears.
Though if that were to happen, what would happen to my avatar in this post...in which I've used both smurf and carebear.
Best thing about gummy bears: It was a troll, and I I think it might be the bounty hunter you mentioned. He had a hand-crank "machine gun" that I think shot nuts. AWESOME.
