This was originally posted by Darthloser on another forum and there seemed to be some desire to read more - for that i thank you for taking the time to read and respond and hope you enjoy all that follows and if you do, please comment as it's always nice to hear that my work is liked - if you don't like it then bah hoo sucks to you. :P The first three posts are the complete journals from the first three adventures (currently trying to complete the fourth) but all the rest will be the week on week entries.
Yours Deree Silentfoot aka Steve
Waterday 5th Planting 595
Well I’ve been here in Diamond Lake for a few months now and basically, I’m bored. So in order to help relieve some of the hum-drum I’ve decided to write a diary about me and my experiences (I’d write about someone else but I’m by far the most interesting person here).
I suppose I should introduce myself. My name is Deree Silentfoot and I’m a Halfling. I’m here in Diamond Lake to complete a very important mission on behalf of my race, but I shouldn’t really write about that in case one of my powerful enemies should find this book and discover my secret.
I’ll tell you what I can though. I’m currently working at an inn called “The Feral Dog”. I’m employed as a knife thrower, barman, official greeter; whatever needs doing basically. The owner of the bar is a guy called Tak. He’s got a pretty good set up what with the knife throwing contests and the dog fights, although I think I’ve become the driving force behind its popularity since I’ve arrived. Tak’s alright though: firm but fair.
Speaking of fair, someone who definitely isn’t fair in any sense of the word is Grim (Gimgrim Iron twister to give him his full title). He’s one of the bouncers. If you hadn’t guessed it already, he’s a dwarf. Some would describe him as stocky. Me I prefer to use the word fat! Now this guy loves his drink. The only time I’ve seen him sober is when he’s hung over. His cure for this malady? Hair of the dog, or more specifically, hair of the Feral Dog. He’s working on the door for drink, food and a place to sleep… did I say sleep? I meant pass out. Many’s the time he’s been woken up by the door hitting him as the first customer of the day comes in. He excuses his drinking by claiming to worship the dwarven god of drinking and merriment. Only the dwarves could have a god whose main dominion is getting pissed.
The other bouncer there is a completely different kettle of fish. This guy doesn’t touch a drop of ale. He’s a human called T’shan (when he introduced himself I thought he’d sneezed, apparently not, he’s a bit touchy about his name for some reason). Anyway Sneeze is quite quick with his hands, which comes in extremely useful, especially when catching Grim when he trips, stumbles or staggers as he is wont to do. Grim didn’t like him at first.
“A man who doesn’t drink” Grim said when we first met Sneeze “is like a man who doesn’t…” I never got the end of that particular piece of wisdom as his words were drowned out by the sound of his snoring. Anyway Sneeze turned out to be ok and does in fact have a sense of humour, just don’t skit his name.
At the moment I’m living on my cart at the back of the inn with my mule Lavender. I tried staying in the inn a couple of nights on the patches of wood that were visible through the bloodstains but for some reason decided against staying there full time. Nope I much prefer it here on my cart. It’s what I’m used to having grown up in a travelling community. Besides, Lavender would get scared and lonely. I think he’s afraid of the dark. Yup he and I are both better off under our canvas roof.
Earthday 6th Planting 595
Tira was in again tonight. She’s a really nice bit of elven totty who takes part in the knife throwing competitions. I feel a bit sorry for her ‘cause she’s got a bit of a thing for me but I just don’t feel the same way. It’s due to this that I let her beat me anytime we come up against one another. She hangs around with two real losers. One’s a weird guy called Kellick who I think is a wizard and the other’s some arrogant piece of orc dropping called Auric. He’s a guy with more muscle than Grim has fat but less brains than Sneeze has alcohol in his drinks. This guy claims to be champion of the free city, even walks around with a stupid championship belt on all the time (probably to remind himself what his name is). I think you’ve got to be really small to have to talk so big all the time.
Anyway, Tira wasn’t the only elf that came in tonight. A male elf with dodgy blue hair came in looking for her. Grim, surprisingly, let him in but only after he promised to buy a drink. The other unusual thing about him other than he was an elf with blue hair was that he wasn’t carrying any weapons. Grim loaned him a dagger. Quite generous for Grim! He must have been half cut already. Anyway this elf had one of the less vile spirits from the top shelf and introduced himself as Selanor. Well being the polite host that I am, I took Muffin over to where Tira was. Then being exceedingly rude they both started speaking in elven. Well I wasn’t going to stand there whilst people talked about me in a foreign language so I left. It’s weird but a sad desperate man trying to chat up a woman who is not only completely out of his league but also besotted with someone else looks equally pathetic no matter what language it’s done in.
Anyway, I was heading back to the bar when Kullen and the group of in bred morons that follow him around barged their way in. Now there’s a character you don’t want to bump into on a dark night, or even just a normal night. In fact bumping into him is sub-optimal at any time of night or day. He’s an albino half-orc who acts as an enforcer for one of the mine bosses, probably that power hungry sadist Balabar Smenk.
I managed to avoid them and went to serve another customer, a young lady whom I hadn’t seen before. It was clear from the outset that she fancied me but I remained professional. I asked what she wanted and she said that her name was Insalla and she was a scout looking for work and a place to stay. I offered her the blood soaked floor of the common room but she declined. I felt really sorry for her. She looked down on her luck so I kinda let slip that I camp out behind the inn. She asked if she could stay. Now normally I wouldn’t lead someone on like this, you know, inviting them back to my place when I have no intention of taking it any further, but Salty didn’t look like she could afford to pay for a meal let alone a room.
As chance would have it, it was at this point that Muffin came back from speaking with Tira. He said that she’d turned him down (no surprise there then) so he was looking for some people who wanted to earn 50gp. Now it was at this point I was wondering what kinky stuff I’d have to do for this money when Muffin clarified that his master, Allustan (a reputedly powerful wizard who lives on the outskirts of town), was looking to hire people to check out some ruins and bring back anything archaeological looking. Apparently Tira couldn’t do it ‘cause she and her hangers on were going to investigate Stirgenest Cairn. I don’t know why, everyone knows there’s nothing there. Saying that, everyone’s pretty sure that there’s nothing in any of the cairns so why Allustan would hire us to look into one is beyond me. Still 50gp is 50gp.
Myself, Grim, Sneeze and Salty said that we’d be interested in doing it so Muffin said we’d have to meet his master. I told Tak that we were taking our break and we all ambled off to a ruined house to meet the guy with the ponsiest beard ever. I’m telling you, you’ve got to be extremely dangerous to go around with rings and flowers weaved onto your face. Either that or want to earn 50gp the hard way.
Anyway Shrub-beard said that he wanted us to check out the Whispering Cairn, so called as it emits strange noises that sound kinda like whispering.
If my memory serves me correctly this particular cairn had a load of people buried in it. Dead people that is, not live people. That’d just be freaky. The other thing I heard was that a boy had gone into the Whispering Cairn thirty years ago and hasn’t been seen since. If it was a kid from this town I don’t blame him. I’d run away as well.
Anyway Shrub-beard said that he wanted archaeological stuff from it. Basically he wanted anything that looked older than Muffin. We agreed and got given 10gp each in advance but only on the assurance that it wouldn’t get out that it was he that was funding us.
A thought has just occurred to me: if he’s funding us to look into the Whispering Cairn, maybe he’s also funding Tira’s lot to look into Stirgenest Cairn. I mean if he had the same secrecy clause in their agreement Tira may not even tell me about it. If he is funding all these expeditions into so called empty ransacked cairns then he must be looking for something of great value. Spend money to make money as they say.
Anyway long story short, we accepted and went back to work. Muffin moaned about not having enough money to buy a longsword and out of nowhere Sneeze just handed him over the excess! I’ve known him for three whole weeks and the only thing he’s given me is a leg up to the top shelf.
It’s decided that we’ll start off in the morning. I offered to do all of Grim’s shopping for him first thing as he’d probably still be unconscious but the round one declined. He had the gall to say that I might short change him! The bloody cheek! That’s the last time I do him a cooked breakfast… I mean lunch.
Freeday 7th Planting 595
Kicked Grim awake harder than normal. That’s the least he deserved after calling me a thief. Checked my stuff before Salty woke up and found that she hadn’t lied when she’d said that she’s trustworthy. Made her a bacon butty as a thank you for not stealing my stuff… and because it would probably be the first thing she’d eaten in a week that hadn’t been trapped in a spider’s web.
We went shopping. First we went to see Tagon at the general store. Grim bought a sunrod and some rations. Now as Tagon is a close personal friend of mine I could have got Grim some money off, but not after what he said last night.
We then went to see Tyrol at ‘The Captain’s Blade’ so that Muffin could pick up his precious longsword. I also purchased a kukri whilst we were there. Can’t use it yet but they look cool so I’m gonna learn.
Then we had to travel to Osgood’s the smithy to pick up Grim a shield. I don’t know why; he’s that wide that he’d need at least three on his arm to gain any kind of cover over his girth.
Finally we set off for the Whispering Cairn. Didn’t take long despite the constant breaks for Grim to pour himself another ale. He should just get it over with and strap a keg to the top of his head and have a tube running from it to his mouth. It’d save a great deal of time in the long run.
We found the entrance and just as we were going to go in Muffin cast a spell. So now he’s a wizard! I did suspect what with having a well known wizard as a master but I have to be honest, I thought he was just a stable boy. He doesn’t seem to have the brains to be a proper wizard. Anyway the spell that he cast outlined him in blue. Sometimes I wish I’d become a wizard so that I could outline myself in a colour of my choosing. Oh the thrill that such power would bring…
We went in and almost immediately discovered the cause of the ‘whispering’. It was nothing more than holes bored into the walls that the wind blew across. Kinda like a giant flute I suppose.
As we were checking these holes out I spotted a greenish glow in the distance. I tried to point it out to everyone else but it disappeared before they could see it. Salty said that she’d seen it as well but I think she was just trying to impress me.
The corridor broke into an alcove on either side. One side was collapsed but we found something odd in the other. There was a marble platform on which stood what looked like the remains of a dressing mirror. There were arcane glyphs carved into the base and shards of a black glassy material strewn across the floor. Grim said that it wasn’t obsidian so we don’t know what it is. It should however worth a bit of dosh to the right buyer. Muffin then spotted some more runes that had been etched onto the inside of the frame where the mirror would sit. He and Grim said that they were runes of transportation. So we’ve possibly discovered a broken teleportation device. Great! Now only if we could fix it and get it out of the ruins. Maybe Muffin can use some of his powerful colour magic to, well I suppose outline it in blue. I wonder if blue is the only colour he can produce? If so then his range is more limited than even I suspected.
As we came back out of the alcove I spotted that greeny glow again from the north. This time everyone said they saw it, apart from Muffin. So much for the legendary elven eyesight!
At this Grim took another swig of ale and then Sneeze said the most obvious thing ever:
‘If you fill yourself with poison, you will get poisoned.’
Thanks for that insight. Then as if competing in the dumb statement stakes Muffin comes up with:
‘If you dig to deep into things you will find yourself in a hole.’
Colour magics and insightful comments. No wonder Tira gave him the brush off.
Anyway, we made our way towards to glow which led us into a very wide room. The glow was coming from behind some very thick cobwebs in front of some stairs. Before we went down we decided to check out this room. The western side of the room had a large marble dais which led up to a picture on the wall behind it. The fresco depicted a room with chains hanging down from the roof that held lanterns of different colours. Going clockwise they were: red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo and violet.
As the others engrossed themselves in the painting I heard something behind me. I turned around and saw three of the biggest wolves you’ve ever seen coming towards us. I informed the others and made ready to fight. The wolves were obviously very intelligent as they all headed straight for the most dangerous member of our group: me! I managed to hit one and dodge two of their vicious attacks but the third one took a huge chunk out of me and tried to trip me up but I managed to keep my footing. Then the others decided that it was safe to get involved. Salty got tripped up by one after it bit her. As she got back up it bit her again and she collapsed in a heap. Muffin, who had been using his bow to little affect, decided to show us the range of his spell casting ability. He did this by walking up to one of the wolves and pointing his hands at it. Nothing happened. Great! We have the world’s worst wizard with us. The three people left standing that could actually do anything to the wolves continued to try and hit them. I managed to slay one with a well aimed throw of my dagger. It was then that Grim showed his true colours (and it wasn’t blue like the elf). It turns out that he doesn’t just worship the dwarven god of getting drunk; he’s a cleric of him and as such is given some spells. He used one of these to heal me up and then another to heal Salty. Between us we took down the last two, but it had been a struggle.
We went to where the wolves had come from and discovered a small hole that led to their den. As the others were too tall or fat to go in, I bravely volunteered. Sneeze stuck his head in after me so that he could make sure I’m safe. Personally I think that he just doesn’t trust me. Inside the den I found lots of bones, both human and animal amongst which I discovered an old backpack. In this was a lantern that was coloured indigo and an armband of what we assume is elven design (it was all leafy). Muffin cast a spell and said that neither of them were magical. We reckon the armband is worth around 50gp, possibly more to an elf. I may get it for Tira.
When I came out Salty showed me a marble finger she’d found in some rubble. She seemed very pleased with herself, bless her. She mustn’t get out much.
We decided to head back to Diamond Lake to rest up and heal.
Starday 8th Planting 595
We spent the day resting. Tira and the other two had gone off to Stirgenest Cairn already. Grim cast some healing spells and we managed to sell the dead wolves for 10gp.
Sunday 9th Planting 595
We headed back to the Whispering Cairn and went straight to the cobwebs and burned them. This made the green glow so bright that even Muffin could see it. We went down the stairs and discovered the chain room depicted in the picture on the wall. There were seven large alcoves with a chain hanging down from each. At the end of the chains hung the lanterns apart from the indigo one (which we hung up) and the red one. The green lantern was the only one that was lit.
In the centre of the room stood a sarcophagus on which was a statue of what looked like a large human lying down. The human was bald and it was difficult to say whether it was a man or woman (much like trying to tell a dwarven man from a dwarven woman). There was an amulet carved around its neck that had a glyph emblazoned on it. Muffin said that it related to the ones we’d found by the mirror and depicted a person’s rank. He said that this one was of a lower rank though. How crap was this guy? A lower rank than a piece of furniture! How depressing would that be? Muffin said that the glyphs weren’t from any known alphabet. The head of the statue lay in the point of an arrow that was currently pointing towards the orange lantern.
It was then we noticed that the statue was missing a finger. Muffin said that he’d given the one Salty had found to Shrub-beard as an archaeological find. Whilst he ran back to get it we had a look around the alcoves. All of them were the same apart from the one with the blue lantern. The lamp light reached the ceiling of all the others but not this one. After a
few attempts Salty managed to climb up the chain (I had a go but deliberately failed. I don’t want to show her up too much… not yet anyway) and discovered a passageway leading off that had a skeleton at its entrance. The owner of the skeleton when it was alive looked like they’d been killed by a great fall, which is a bit weird considering where we found it. She tied a rope off and we all went up. Shining the torch down the corridor we saw that it ended in a thick stone door that was in the shape of a large screaming face. It looked the same as the face of the statue on the sarcophagus. It was at this point that Muffin arrived back. As we continued down the corridor we spotted scrape marks on the floor as if someone had tried to dig a knife into the stone but failed.
We decided to leave it for now and went back to the fingerless statue. Muffin put the finger back on the statue but it just fell off. Then he showed some more of his magical prowess by casting a spell that reattached the finger to the statue. So now he can make a blue glow around himself, see if something’s magical, wave his hands in front of enemies and repair stuff. I might ask him to have a look at my other pair of trousers, they’ve got a hole in the knee he might be able to do something about.
Anyway, nothing happened so we went back up to the screaming face corridor. As we got towards the face I spotted a pressure plate. Salty tried to help me disarm it but in truth all she did was put me off. Whatever she did made the trap go off and suddenly a strong wind started coming from the mouth and its eyes started rolling around in their sockets and producing weird, pretty colours. I was just thinking that Muffin would love to have a spell that made multiple colours when I was brought round by the fact that the wind had gotten so strong that it blew me backwards down the cave. People were desperately trying to force any kind of pointy thing they had into the walls to brace themselves with but nothing seemed to be working. I was blown back again but this time I managed to grab onto a rather large looking Grim. He told me afterwards that he’d cast a spell to enlarge himself. I’m surprised that he hadn’t gotten himself wedged in the corridor with the size of his waist when he’s normal sized so Yondalla knows how he managed to fit in when he was bigger. The wind kept getting stronger and stronger until Muffin couldn’t hold on any longer and was blown off the edge. Luckily he managed to grab onto the rope before falling to his death. I decided that his luck was my opportunity. I let go of Grim and controlled my tumbling and grabbed onto the rope and climbed down. Sneeze followed and lastly Salty. Grim obviously had got himself stuck in the passage as he stayed up there for the ten minutes it took for the trap to disarm itself.
When the wind had died down we decided not to try and disarm it again but simply jumped over it. We got to the door but found no way to open it. No lock, nothing. Grim tried to batter it with his axe but to no avail.
We went back down to the sarcophagus and had a closer inspection. I managed to find a magical trap on this and decided not to risk letting Salty put me off again. We tied a rope around the lid and from a safe distance pulled it off. It smashed on the floor and a burst of flame shot into the air. The sarcophagus was empty. No body, no treasure, nothing.
It was at this point that we decided that the arrow on top of the sarcophagus must be more than simple decoration. Grim and Sneeze put their backs to the sarcophagus and started to push it. They turned it until it faced the yellow lantern. At this point we heard a huge rumbling from below us and slowly a cylindrical chamber rose from the floor in the yellow alcove. The cylinder was hollow but only big enough for one person to go in at a time.
We were just deciding whether to go down the yellowvator or not when I heard a sound that reminded me of when Grim falls down the stairs in his armour after particularly heavy nights coming from the upper level. We prepared ourselves for battle but we needn’t have worried as it was only one bloke in armour. As an honourable gentleman I was about to issue a one-on-one challenge to this intruder when he pre-empted my offer saying that he’d been sent by Shrub-beard. He handed over a letter of introduction to Muffin who read it out. Apparently Shrub-beard was worried (for the others obviously) as we’d been battered when we came back to town so he’d arranged for this guy (apparently a holy warrior of Heironeous named Gorram Tabin) to add a bit of muscle to the group, which, from the dopey look on his face, looks like all he’s going to add.
Dubiously I let him join us despite his dodgy permed hair and weird red mark behind his ear. I figure if he’s any trouble I’ll just put him right back into place.
Anyway we tested his so called muscle by letting him turn the sarcophagus in a clockwise direction (that was the reason I told Grim anyway… in reality the old souse looked like he was about to have a heart attack). It took him a while, and several attempts pushing it in the wrong direction, but eventually Curly managed to get the arrow to face the green lantern.
We then heard another rumbling like the one that brought up the yellowvator but this time instead of a cylinder coming up, the floor at the end of the green alcove collapsed. As the noise of rock collapsing disappeared it was replaced by skittering sounds. Lots of skittering sounds! The smart members of the group plus Curly tactically moved on top of the sarcophagus until we could gauge our latest enemy. Muffin decided it would be best to remain on the floor (his stable boy background coming to the fore).
From the hole appeared a mass of beetles followed by a huge abomination of a beetle that walked on its hind legs like a weird beetle like elf. Salty and Grim shot at the big creature but it nimbly evaded their projectiles. The mass of f beetles approached and Muffin decided that this was the time to show us his wavy hand trick again. Remarkably this time flames actually appeared from his fingers. These flames burst into the swarm of beetles the result of which seemed to have the same affect as when he’d just waved his hands at the wolves, that is to say nothing.
Some might say bravely, I’ll use stupidly, Curly jumped off the sarcophagus and ran to engage the giant elf beetle. As he hacked a fair chunk out of the creature I realised that Curly might be useful in the future, so I decided to save him by engaging the creature myself. It was then that the swarm of death acid beetles from hell turned on us. Salty, her obvious infatuation for me coming out, took a risk and poured oil from her lantern over the swarm which Grim then lit. This did slightly more damage than Muffin’s flamey finger spell (I might suggest to him that it might be worth him just carrying a few flasks of oil and a flint and steel instead of wasting what little brain power he actually has on difficult things like spell casting), but still the swarm came on. Sneeze managed to finish off the job I’d started with the elf beetle just as the death swarm overcame me.
When I woke up the swarm was dead and Sneeze was picking bugs out of my hair. I’d say that was nice of him but I’m pretty sure I saw him put some in his pockets for consumption later.
Salty decided to peak down the hole and saw a glyph that was in the shape of an arrow carved into the floor. The room was filled with statues that looked the same race as that on the sarcophagus. There was a corridor that split off to the left and right as well as continuing straight on.
I was all for going on but the others in their weakened state were a bit scared so I decided that it’s be best of we rested a day. I thought it best that we didn’t go back to town again as Shrub-beard would find out and probably realise what a gang of wimps he’d saddled me with and ditch them. As needy as they are, I’ve kinda got to like them in the past couple of days. Besides, I can’t be bothered spending another couple of days training up another group, not when I’ve got this one pretty much the way I want it.
We headed for the ruins where we first met Shrub-beard and spent the night.
Moonday 10th Planting 595
We spent the day in the ruins whilst people recovered from their injuries, whether they be physical, mental or alcohol related.
Godsday 11th Planting 595
Remind me never to go on watch after Sneeze. I’ll explain more later.
We headed back to the Whispering Cairn and I immediately noticed that there was something different. The green light was somehow brighter. When we got to the sarcophagus room I realised that it wasn’t the green light that was brighter but that the blue light was diminished. On further inspection of the lanterns we discovered that the green lantern was lit with a magical ever-burning torch.
After explaining to Curly that “ever-burning” meant that the torch would never go out, we decided to investigate the room in the green alcove. We went down and searched around the statues but found nothing. We headed for the intersection and glanced in all three directions. Straight ahead there were some stairs leading down into water so deep that it would have covered Grim even when he was lying down. To the left was a room in which stood what looked like eight sarcophagi in two rows of four. On the far right one lay a humanoid figure. At the far end of the room stood a statue of one of those giant genderless humans but this one was carrying a huge club.
The room on the left caused a bit of alarm. We spotted what looked like a nest of those acid death beetles and another one of the big ones. Everyone wanted some payback for the mauling we’d gotten upstairs but I persuaded them that we could take them out more efficiently if we came up with a plan. Bowing to my superior logic we left the cairn and went shopping.
Muffin went to report back to Shrub-beard and, under instruction, asked if he could give us some Alchemist’s Fire (a very potent form of oil that bursts into flames when its vial is broken). Give him his due, Muffin not only came back with four vials of that stuff but also three healing potions. I’ve figured out why Salty is so poor: she knows nothing about saving money. We were going to buy some flasks of oil for which the entire group was going to pitch in but before we know it she’s handed over a gp to Tagon and bought all ten herself. Shouldn’t surprise me, she is a woman after all. At least she’s spending her own money instead of some poor blokes though. Another reason for me not to take it any further, despite her obvious feelings for me.
Well, the shopping done we headed back to the acid death bugs room and set our plan into motion. We poured two vials of oil in the corridor as a retreat line so that we could light it as and when something came to attack us. Muffin then cast a spell which allowed him to move objects through the air to a specific point which he was going to use to move the alchemists fire to one part of the nest. At the same time myself, Salty and Sneeze would use the traditional way of moving objects through the air to a specific point (known as throwing) to hurl vials of oil onto other parts of the nest the idea being that the alchemists fire would ignite all the oil and thus destroy the nest. I asked Muffin why he wasn’t throwing his vials and he came up with some story about not having the right angle to get it to the correct spot. Personally, looking at his arms, he didn’t want to prove correct what we’re all thinking: he throws like a pansy.
Anyway, that aside, the plan went off without a hitch. The nest was destroyed and the giant beetle came to attack us. Grim lit the oil when it scuttled into it and we managed to batternate it to death. Saying that, it did manage to spray acid at Grim and Curly which caused some fairly serious injuries. Give them their due though, they only cried a little about it. Plus during the fight Muffin showed us some more of his powerful magics by shooting a tiny little dot out of his fingers which managed to hit the creature causing almost as much damage as his wavy hands spell.
After the creature had been killed, we entered the room. At the far end of it stood a basin that had this weird horrible orangey stuff oozing out of it. We checked the remnants of the nest and found some mummified human remains. What was left of the bodies were dressed in now mouldy leather armour that had an eight pointed star emblazoned over where their heart would have been. We cut out the insignia and with further prodding we found three vials, a pearl and a ring, all of which Muffin detected as magical. We also took a vial of the orange sludge for Shrub-beard.
With nothing else to see we exited that room and went straight across into the sarcophagus room. On closer inspection it turned out that what someone had mistakenly told me were sarcophagi weren’t. They were just stone slabs.
I was just musing that this must be some form of barracks when I felt a wave of fatigue come over me. Some of the others felt it as well but a couple of the group obviously hadn’t been pulling their weight (hard for Grim I know) as they remained very much awake. Sadly there was no time to berate these slackers as another one of those giant elf beetle things appeared from behind one of the slabs. Despite my weariness I took up the fight and threw a dagger that nearly impaled it. The others joined the battle (although I’m not sure why, none of them could cope with the fatigue as well as me and as a result they all became as useful with their weapons as Muffin’s wavy hands) just in time for it to spray its death acid on myself and Curly. I’ll let the others off for screaming when it happened to them ‘cause even I have to admit it smarted a bit. Grim healed me up whilst we finished it off.
We then had a closer look at the body on the slab. Grim said that it was only a couple of months old and had been killed by a really hard blow around the head. It was wearing exceedingly fine leather armour (which we decided to take and sell) which had the same eight pointed star symbol on it. The owner was also wearing a ring which we decided could be put to better use than adorning a corpse that no-one was going to see.
With the only other passage flooded, we decided to go back up and turn the sarcophagus to a different colour to see what happened.
The next colour was blue but nothing happened when we turned it. We went and checked the screaming corridor but the door was still shut and still had no way of opening it.
We then turned it to indigo and another lift rumbled up from the ground. This one was different however as it had something, or more precisely, the remains of someone in it. Carefully we dragged the crushed corpse out and found some money and a ruby. We decided that due to the crushed bones inside the lift it probably wasn’t the best idea for one of us to go in (although I’m sure I heard some people muttering about how the smallest person wouldn’t be crushed as much) so we decided to place an empty vial in. We turned the sarcophagus full circle and sure enough when the lift came back up, the vial was smashed.
We then turned the sarcophagus to violet, red and orange at which points less happened than what goes on in Curly’s head. We decided to do the vial trick with the yellowvator. This time however the vial didn’t smash. Sneeze offered to be guinea pig and go into it first (I’d have offered but being the leader of the group I can’t put myself in that kind of risk as my death would certainly cause the group to fall apart). We turned the sarcophagus all the way around but when the lift came up there was no Sneeze. I figured he must have gotten out and may be in need of help so I went in. The yellowvator brought me down into a room that has some more of those weird statues in. Sneeze was there and looking ok. We discovered a button that allowed us to control the yellowvator from here so we sent for the others.
Grim used his head for something other than consumption of alcohol for once and secured the sarcophagus at the top by wedging a piton in its base.
Once he finally managed to squeeze his enormous girth into and then out of the yellowvator we inspected the room more closely. The only other exit to this room was blocked by a huge stone slab. I was just about to suggest that we search it for traps when Grim, Curly, Sneeze and Salty decided to push it over. Low and behold, they set off a trap. A thick oily gas came spurting out and drained our strength (and bear in mind, Muffin doesn’t have a lot to spare). We moved out of the gas and found ourselves in a corridor that had three statues in alcoves on either side. It was then that people thought it would be wise to check for traps. Well done! Only a few minutes too late.
It was whilst myself and Salty were searching that she let out a very girly scream that shocked even me for a second. The reason for her obvious terror was a pair of floating eyeballs connected together by what looked like bare muscle coming out from behind the statue. One of the eyes fixed on me and shot out a ray. Now I’m not sure whether it was the ray or Salty’s scream, but something shook me up fairly badly. The other eye fixed on Salty and she immediately decided that this was the time for a nap. We fought back but the eyes (I’ve no eye-dea (get it) how) managed to dodge our blows with great dexterity. It was at this point that Sneeze decided that Salty should wake up. Instead of bringing her a cuppa and a bacon butty like any normal person would, Sneeze decided to hit her. Fair enough I suppose due to the fact that it’s hard to put the kettle on in the middle of combat but his punch didn’t so much wake her up as knock her out. I’m telling you, if that’s how people wake each other up when their on watch I’m going on after Muffin; he barely has the strength to shake you awake.
Anyway, despite Sneeze’s best efforts, we all managed to survive the encounter with the (what Muffin called) Lurking Strangler. Apparently they are created by wizards for some unfathomable reason (maybe all wizards started off as stable boys). What’s even more unfathomable is that when these things have put you to sleep with their ray, they strangle you to death (hence the name). Why? It’s not like they’re going to be able to eat you. Wizards! They must have far too much time on their hands what with creating floating eyes and wavy hand spells.
Anyway we continued on and the corridor opened up into a room with a huge pillar in the middle. There was an archway on either side of the room leading to other chambers but the one on the right was filled with more of that orangey gunk only this time a fair whack of it had turned brown.
We headed around the left of the pillar and discovered that there was a door on the back wall of the room. We had a closer look at the pillar and discovered that it was some sort of weird shower. There was a large basin type thing underneath a water pipe although both of these were now covered in that orange sludge.
We checked the room on the left and discovered that it was a very ornate bedroom. There was a large bed which had a carving of another genderless being above it. This one also had a glyph depicting its rank on it although this one was very high ranking. Something about this glyph struck a chord with me. It reminded me of something I’d seen in a book I’d borrowed from a library ages ago. I’m sure it’s an ancient language called Vaarti or Farty… some kind of arty anyway. Pah! No known alphabet indeed! Muffin looked like he didn’t believe me when I told him but I’m pretty sure he’s just jealous of my superior intelligence.
Feeling very smug I tried out the bed itself and discovered that it was covered with a thin layer of air that made it very comfortable and also made me very sleepy.
I managed to keep awake though and we continued with our expedition. The door at the back of the shower room led to a place that stank worse than Grim (hard to believe I know). It was an old abandoned toilet.
We quickly shut the door and through teary eyes Salty said she saw something on the back of the shower. On further inspection we saw that it was a catch. We decided to flip it and at once a stone slab on the side of the pillar was lifted from the ground. Underneath it was a very squashed body wearing very fine chainmail. On the wall behind the slab hung a set of very nice looking tools. There were also some statuettes on the floor, some broken but three of them were in remarkably good nick. There was one of a palace, one of a giant stadium and one of a set of towers.
Having concluded that the trap was safely disarmed we took all of the nice items and moved on. We went to where the sludge was blocking the entrance to the other room and had a look in. It was weird but the room looked like it was lit by natural sunlight. In it was an unfinished statue of what looked like a warrior holding a staff and a large black egg with some glyphs on. Salty walked up to the sludge, shivered and then collapsed. Apparently she doesn’t like to cold which surprises me a little as she surely must have gotten used to it what with having to sleep in doorways all the time.
Grim dragged her away from the sludge and as he did got a better look at the brown stuff. He said it was a poisonous mould. He said that burning it would be bad but he could try and purify it with a spell. What I want to know is if he’s had a purify spell all this time, why hasn’t he used it on himself? Anyway, his spell didn’t work so we decided to rest in the bedroom until Muffin could recuperate from his long day of casting spells… all three of them. Grim did have one more spell left which he cast to determine if anything we’d found was magical. Turns out the tools are. Wizards! Far too much spare time!
I, as the leader, naturally got the comfy air bed. Just a quick thought; I guess this helps prove my theory that the stone slab room was a barracks. Or is it just coincidence that this place of rest should have a fatigue magic put on it?
Waterday 12th Planting 595
Muffin woke up fresh and ready for another full day of casting his spells. He must have had a really good sleep as the first spell he cast (one that produced a ray of frost from his finger) completely destroyed the mould by the door to the sculptors workshop. If he’s had a spell of such power all along, why hasn’t he cast it before instead of waving his hands about and throwing tiny magical dots at our enemies? I’ve said it before and I’ll probably say it again: wizards!
Once the mould had gone we went into the room. Muffin immediately went up to the egg and started to take some rubbings of the glyphs that had been inscribed in gold on its black surface. As he started suddenly the egg began to change shape. We all took a few steps back to see what would happen. A mouth formed and let out a shout in a language none of us recognised. Salty and Muffin tried to communicate with it but the egg beast ignored them and flung itself at Muffin. It dropped him quicker than Tira had which meant that for the course of the battle we were denied his mighty offensive spells. Curly showed me why I’d been right to save him by walking up to the creature and killing it with one mighty swing of his sword. Grim cast some healing magic on Muffin who leapt up like nothing had happened.
We searched the rest of the room and found nothing of interest apart from the staff that the warrior statue was holding. It was of extremely fine quality but had six grooves along its length that seemed to divide it into seven parts.
We pulled out the staff and decided to take all the stuff we’d found to Shrub-beard to see which of these finds he wanted and also to see if he could tell us the properties of the magical items we’d found. Muffin claimed he could do it if he had the correct components but going on his record so far I’m betting that’s just an excuse to cover the fact that his brain can’t cope with the complexity of a decent spell.
Shrub-beard took the statuettes and the staff but said he wasn’t interested in the tools. He did however tell us what each magical item did. Two of the tools turned out not to be tools at all: they’re wands. One creates an invisible helper that can lift and move light objects around the other can cause brittle things like glass to shatter. Shrub-beard said the third tool was a pair of goggles that allowed you to see things close up with more clarity.
The magical ring let you fall long distances as lightly as a feather would and the vials contained potions of healing. The magical pearl turned out to allow a spell caster to cast another low level spell (are there any others?) per day. At this announcement Muffin’s eyes lit up. Not sure why. The prospect of having one more opportunity per day to humiliate myself is not something I’d particularly relish.
Anyway we left Shrub-beards and headed over to Osgood’s where we sold the really nice leather armour and then we headed to Tidwowd’s (a gnome jeweller) to sell the silver ring and the ruby. We also tried to sell him the goggles but the cheap little garden ornament didn’t even offer us half of what it’s worth. We also managed to get rid of the wands to some poor unsuspecting spell casters.
We then split all the money up and people went off to spend it. Salty bought a weird curved blade called a scimitar and a chain shirt and Curly bought some banded mail.
The day only half gone we decided to head back to the Whispering Cairn to continue looking for the red lantern. On the way we dished out the items we’d found. We each got a healing potion; Grim got the nice chainmail; Salty got the ring; they foist the goggles onto me but worse than that Muffin got the pearl.
Arriving back at the cairn we went to the one place we hadn’t searched: the water. No-one seemed particularly keen to go in but after I volunteered people suddenly found their courage. Grim, Salty and Sneeze all said that they’d come along. Salty suggested that if we emptied our waterskins and filled them with air then we could stay under the water longer (it’s probably something she’s done before when hiding from her creditors). It was decided that Muffin and Curly we to stay at the top so that they could pull the ropes we’d attached ourselves to (two to a rope) back up if we needed to. Salty, bless her aching heart, asked if she could be on the same rope as me. I decided to give her a thrill and said yes.
With Grim and Salty having taken their armour off, we made our way down the stairs and into the murky depths. Grim pulled out a sunrod so that we could at least see a little. The room we entered looked like a large shower room. It had two archways, one on either side of the room, and a door on the far wall.
We headed for the archway on the left but as we approached Salty, who was at the head of the group, spotted a weird shifting in the water by its entrance. Suddenly this shifting water started to approach us. Some of this water seemed to form into a humanoid like appendage and struck out at Salty injuring her. We managed to surround the living water and killed it with great expediency.
The fight took a bit out of us so we went back to the surface to catch our breath before heading to the archway on the right. Inside this room there was a curled up body. As we approached the body unfurled and stood locking gazes with fearsome red eyes. It then showed us exactly how fierce it really was by turning and fleeing when Grim held up his tankard (later he claimed that the tankard was his holy symbol and that he’d channelled the power of his god through it in order to scare away the ghoulish creature. Personally I think that the creature simply detected Grim’s odour through the water and was trying to get as far away from it as possible.). We surrounded the creature and proceeded to lay into it. This revived the creature from its stupor and it managed to fight back. It slashed Salty with one of its claws and suddenly she became paralyzed. Sneeze felled the creature with a blow almost as massive as the ones he uses to wake people up.
I tugged on the rope so that Muffin would know that someone was in trouble and with what little strength he has in his arms, he pulled us in. I’m not sure whether I should have done that as saving Salty’s life will probably only solidify her infatuation with me.
Anyway, Grim and Sneeze followed us back after they had searched the room. They came up with some platinum, gold and silver coins as well as a ring with the eight pointed star emblem on.
When Salty could move again we headed back into the water and went through the left archway. In this room (which looked like some kind of steam room) was another body. We carefully approached but the body was just what it appeared to be. It was wearing leather armour that had been torn to shreds and had on it a very nice looking short sword. This body looked like it had been down here for about half a century which is weird ‘cause the one we’d found in the stone slab room looked like it had only been here for a few months. Maybe the fatigue spell on the barracks somehow helped to preserve the body better.
Anyway the underneath the body was a backpack in which was the red lantern. We headed back to the surface once more to catch our breath before heading for the door at the back of the room. Grim joked that it was probably going to be a toilet. Many a true word is spoken in jest. The door opened to reveal a toilet that had been blocked up with various bits of debris which is what has caused this level to flood. In shifts we cleared it out and slowly the water started to drain away.
I’ve just thought: we’ve just spent a good part of the day swimming in toilet water! I feel dirtier than Grim’s underwear! Although this is probably as close to a bath as Grim’s had in who knows how long.
We headed back to the lantern room and hung up the red lantern. We lit them all and immediately heard a scraping noise of stone on stone coming from the screaming wind corridor.
We headed up and found that the door had opened to reveal a room strange room. It was a long room whose floor we couldn’t see as it was covered in head sized iron balls. The top of this ball pool was some ten feet below where we stood. There was a rotted wooden beam stretching the full length of the room that led to another door at the other end. The walls were covered in a strange honeycomb design.
Being the bravest, smartest, nimblest and hardest member of our group, I cautiously went out onto the ledge. I’d gone about ten feet when a load of iron balls shot out from the honeycombed walls at me. I managed to dodge all but one of them which struck me hard. I kept my balance and made my way back to the group so that we could re-think things.
We decided that we’d see how firm the iron ball pool was so I was lowered down to it. I sank into the pool up to just above my knees. I was about to signal for the others to come down when I felt a rumbling coming from underneath. Grim, obviously worried what he’d do without me to guide him, quickly pulled me up.
Despite our best efforts, Salty and I couldn’t find anyway to disarm the iron balls and even Curly and Sneeze couldn’t lift the wooden beam out of its niche. Grim, not known for his patience, decided that this was the time to bring out the big guns, or more precisely, his big axe. With speed which I never knew he had, he chopped through the wooden beam causing our end of it to fall onto the iron balls. This caused the trap to go off sending wave after wave of bullets shooting from the walls. Eventually the trap ran its course and the sound of metal ringing on metal faded into silence.
We climbed down to the beam and started to climb our way up to the door. We got half way across when I felt the rumbling once more. Before I had time to warn people a huge worm with four barbed tentacles rose up from the iron balls. Sneeze, Salty and Grim all tried to strike the creature but their blows simply bounced off the creature’s thick hide. It was at this darkest of hours that the most unlikely, improbable, in fact some might say impossible, thing happened. Muffin! He started casting spells with an energy that no-one could possibly have predicted he’d have. The creature reeled from blow after blow of his magical bullets until finally it succumbed.
Grim, who had been busy pouring beer over his axe (he said that it was his faiths holy water and that he was using it to temporarily make his weapon magical), came out of shock first. But even then all he could do was complain about wasting his ale.
In order to give us time to recover from the unbelievable even we’d just witnessed we decided to search through the iron balls to see if we could find anything. We did. Some decomposed bodies, some money and some very nice looking banded mail.
Whilst this was going on I had a look at the door at the end of the beam but could find no way of opening it. It was then that I heard a faint voice coming from the walls
“Wow!” it whispered “I thought you were dead that time!”
Then a ghostly apparition appeared from the wall. It was the ghost of a boy whose neck looked broken. It had huge claws at the end of his fingers. Seeing our horrified looks the boy seemed to try and hide its grotesque appearance from us.
We tried to ask it who he was and why he was here but it didn’t answer. It tried to approach Sneeze but we warned him back. The boy signalled to us that it couldn’t speak out loud and that it wanted to enter someone’s body. No-one was
particularly keen so yet again it was down to me to be the brave one.
I let the boy enter my body and I felt the strangest feeling. It was like I was pushed to the back of my own mind and this boy had taken possession of my physical being.
The boy told us that his name was Alastor Land and that he’d died here countless decades ago. He had been cursed somehow to remain here in undeath forever unless his bones were removed and buried with his family on their plot. He said that the door could only be opened by pulling a lever on the other side of it and that he would be willing to do that task if we would find his bones and lift the curse.
We agreed. Grim and Sneeze found the bones and went off to the Land’s farmstead to bury Alastor’s remains. When they returned Grim and Sneeze told us that they’d found the abandoned ruined farm but that the graves had been recently dug up. They had buried the remains beneath a headstone that Alastor’s name had been carved in. It appeared that Alastor’s family had all died when the plague had swept through the country some nineteen years ago. Next to the graves they found a shovel and some wheelbarrow tracks that headed off in the direction of Diamond Lake.
I let Alastor take possession of me once more and he told us that his curse hadn’t been lifted as his family was no longer on the burial site.
Knowing that we had no choice but to find his family’s remains, we all set off for the Land farmstead.
It didn’t take long to get there. Grim and Sneeze had accurately described the scene around the graves so we spent little time there before heading to the farmhouse itself.
As we entered I spotted fresh flesh and blood on the floor by the entrance. We rounded a corner into the main room and saw something that took all our breaths away. A huge bear like creature with feathers around its head and a beak like mouth. Grim shouted that it was an owlbear just before myself Sneeze and Salty attacked.
The owl bear grabbed Sneeze in its huge grip and started to squeeze. Muffin then waved his hands in front of the beast but instead of flames appearing, a spray of colour shot from his fingers. Dazed, the owlbear dropped Sneeze just as I plunged my blades into its flank. With a howl the creature fell and died.
Grim, who had just finished pouring beer on himself, doubled in size and then proceeded to moan again that he’d wasted some more ale.
Through his grumbling I heard a small chirp coming from the corner. On investigation we found a baby owlbear which, for some unexplainable reason, took a shine to Grim. Obviously its sense of smell doesn’t develop until later.
“Aw, isn’t it cute?” Grim said lovingly before shoving it in a sack. Apparently baby owlbears can fetch a couple of thousand gold on the open market.
We searched the room and found a whole severed human arm. The interesting thing about this arm, apart from the fact that it had no body attached, was that it had a tattoo on. It was the same symbol as the brand that was on Kullen’s (the albino half-orc) head. The symbol itself was originally used by one of the old mine managers called Garavin Vesst who used to brand his workers to show that they were his property. Now Garavin was run out of business by Balabar Smenk a few years ago and reputedly died last year in relative poverty. Since Balabar had taken over his mine the workers have received vastly better treatment and Balabar has been using the brand as a symbol for his higher ranking employees.
With nothing else to be found, and as night was fast approaching, we headed back to the Feral Dog in order to try and find Kullen. I apologised to Tak for not being there for the past couple of days but said I’d make it up to him by working for free that night. Grim and Sneeze did neither and simply quit their jobs. Pah! No loyalty that’s their problem.
“After tasting the sweet thrill of adventuring” Sneeze announced “I can no longer abide the foul odour of mundane work.” Well lardy dar!
Anyway we only had to wait a few minutes for Kullen and his crew to come in. Unsurprisingly they were one down. Skutch was missing from the party. Serving them drinks I managed to pry some information out of him. Apparently they were attacked by an owlbear whilst out on a job in a nearby farmstead that killed his lackey. I told Grim this and he fell over and for once not because he was pissed. This time it was due to laughter.
I tried to get out of him who he was working for but Kullen refused to say. He only intimated that it was a person he didn’t want to get on the wrong side of. Despite spiking his drinks all night and giving him a tip on the dog fights, he still wouldn’t tell me.
At the end of the night, when all subtlety had been used up, we decided to bring out the blunt instruments. We followed Kullen and his group when they left and confronted them in a quiet part of town. Despite our obvious superiority over them (we had after all killed the owlbear easily), Kullen still refused to give us the name of his employer unless we gave him two hundred gold. Personally I’d have liked to have beaten the information out of him but I was out voted by the others so we all coughed up our share. This particularly annoyed me as I’d been saving up for some really nice armour I’d seen in Osgood’s and I told people so. It was then that Grim just up and forked over fifty gold to me! This gesture really choked me up (either that or it was his B.O.). I guess I’ll have to reassess my opinion of him as a miser.
Anyway, with the money in his greedy white mitts, Kullen told us his sob story; a guy called Filge had come in from the Free City and started to boss Kullen and his group around. He treated them like servants and ordered them to get him some skeletons that he was going to use as guardians. Kullen said he’d taken the Land family’s remains up to where the necromancer was staying: the old observatory.
As we left the scumbags, Kullen had the nerve to request something from us; he said he wanted Filge’s eyes brought to him. I’m not being funny but for two hundred gold he can make the trek up there and get them himself.
Earthday 13th Planting 595
Start off the day with another shopping excursion. We split up as people wanted different things. I went to Osgood’s to sell the nice chainmail and buy myself a suit of fine studded leather armour but Ozy said that he needed to adjust a set as he had none in my size which I think is disgraceful! Anyway, he said it’d be ready tomorrow so I guess I can’t complain too much.
Met up with the others and found that Sneeze had bought himself, what he called, a siangham. He said it’s some sort of exotic weapon but to me it looks like a fire poker.
Tried to pay Grim back the money he’d lent me but he wouldn’t take it. He said that he’d consider my debt covered if I could get him some proper dwarven ale so I’ll have to have a word with Tak and get him to order some in from the free city.
Anyway, shopping done we headed up to the observatory where Kullen had said Filge and, more importantly, the family Land skeletons were.
We snuck up to the building and, having checked the empty tool shed under the back steps, peered in through the mucky glass on the backdoor. Inside was a small room with a door on the in which we spotted three skeletons all carrying crossbows. We all prepared for battle before Curly and Grim put their considerable weight to use by barging through the warped door. The skeletons immediately shot their loads… that is, shot their crossbows at the door but with little effect. Everyone charged in at them, including Muffin. The shock of this sight slowed me down a bit and as a result he managed to get ahead of me and stopped me from joining the battle due to the size of the room. Wouldn’t have minded so much if his hand to hand combat ability wasn’t even worse than his spell casting ability!
Anyway the battle was over very quickly despite Muffin’s interference and we exited through the other door after collecting up the bones, which we’re hoping belong to the Land family. If they are then it does mean that we’re one set of bones missing but hopefully they’ll be somewhere in the building.
The door led onto a corridor with four doors that led to small bedrooms plus two others at its very end. The door on the left led to an old and obviously unused office but the one on the right brought us to a sight stranger than Curly’s hair first thing in the morning.
This room was a dining room that had a large table at its centre that had place settings for ten people. The weirdness begins (and I suppose ends) with the diners. The head place of the table but the other nine were taken up by zombies. The food in front of them remained untouched and the zombies themselves immobile. They didn’t even move when we went right up to them. What’s the point in creating zombies that don’t do anything? Wizards! Is there nothing they like more than wasting time?
Anyway, other than the motionless undead, the ground level was empty so we cautiously climbed the stairs. They brought us into a huge bedroom that had several pieces of strange decoration.
Firstly there was a long dead Halfling sized corpse standing up dressed in a very fine suit complete with top hat that was holding a silver tray on top of which was a woman’s head on whose out poked tongue was a platinum coin. There was also a statue of an angel holding a harp in one hand and a sword in the other. Engraved on the statue’s base was the word “Filge”.
We checked out the rest of the room and discovered that this guy has very limited fashion sense. In his wardrobe we found multiple sets of the same outfit. We didn’t spend too much time musing over this as Muffin had gotten himself into a debate with Sneeze and Grim over a book he’d found. It turned out to be Filge’s spell book. Muffin said he wanted to take it in order to learn more spells but Sneeze and Grim said that we should burn it as it belonged to someone whose main domain was the creation of undead. Personally I’m not sure why they’re so worried; haven’t they seen Muffin cast spells? He’d be lucky if he could create an undead mouse.
Anyway Muffin said that he was unable to use dark, foul, necromantic spells (surprise, surprise; another limitation on his spell casting ability) and that he only wanted to learn any nice spells that might be in there. Nice spells? Come on! Seriously, how many does he actually expect to be in the spell book of a foul zombie creating maniac? I’m guessing he ain’t gonna have Muffin’s patented wavy hands spell.
We were just about to head up to the next level when Curly spotted something on the desk. On further investigation we discovered some vials that contained a weird multi-coloured soupy substance that were labelled “Necroturgent”. Grim mused that it was probably an aid to making undead.
We left t he vials there for the time being and headed up the stairs. This time they lead into a strange room that had a slit across the centre of its domed ceiling. In each corner of the room stood a large mirror but stranger than that was the sunken area in the centre of the room. In each of its corners stood a large cylinder filled with murky liquid in which could be seen vague silhouettes. In the centre lay a human body whose skin had been peeled back and pinned down to its own body.
We had no time to ponder on these things as in the far corner stood our main focus; a man wearing the same outfit that we’d seen in the wardrobe. Around his neck hung a necklace adorned with a birds skull and in his hand he held a syringe.
Immediately I began to run at him but as I approached he spoke in a chilling whisper
“Arise my beautiful monstrosities!”
Suddenly the four cylinders smashed open. Out of three of them stepped undead creatures that looked like bipedal lizards but out of the one next to me stepped a seven foot tall bear like zombie that immediately hit me with a clubbing blow that sent me flying (for which I have to say I was grateful as I really did not want to spend anymore time next it than necessary). I recovered from that blow and took a swig of my healing potion before continuing towards the necromancer who had now summoned up a skeleton to guard him as well as two of the undead lizards. The rest of the group started to try and take care of the large (what I was told later was the zombie corpse of a bugbear) zombie and the other lizard.
As we were occupied with his minions the necromancer took the opportunity to inject himself with the syringe (with no visible affect) and cast a spell that created a ghostly hand. It was then that our wizard stepped up and cast his magic dot spell at the hand. The hand seemed to reel a bit but still continued on
Sunday 16th – Waterday 19th Planting 595
Spent most of these days trying to sell various items that we’d found. Managed to con Shrub-beard into buying the spell book we’d found in Filge’s place (after Muffin had taken what he needed from it) and a passing ranger bought the baby owlbear. All in all we managed to get eight hundred gp each.
With this we decided (as a group) to buy a wand that can heal when it touches you which Grim is keeping hold of. That depleted our funds somewhat but I still had enough left to get myself and Grim a keg of dwarven ale each and a light mace (‘cause I’m sick and tired of bloody evil skeletons that can’t get hurt by my shortsword or daggers). I was also eyeing up a really nice kukri as well when Tyrol showed me an amazingly cool dagger. It was very finely crafted; its blade was slightly curved and it had a ruby in its handle. Tyrol told me that when it was made the blade was infused with the blood of a nalfeshnee demon. Muffin said that it wasn’t magical but it looked soooooooo cool that I had to have it. Cost me a bomb but I think it’s worth it.
As I was marvelling over this, Sneeze decided he wanted to go one better and buy another magical protective device. I thought he’d already got one. Anyway, sadly he didn’t have enough money so he begged us to lend him some. I generously gave him twenty gold and, obviously following my lead and still trying to impress me, Salty gave him the rest. Sneeze then, giggling like a schoolgirl, went and placed his order.
Grim and Muffin went to see Vanelle (the female half-elf who owns the bowyer/fletchery) and came out with very impressive looking bows.
One thing of concern to me is that no-one’s seen Tira and it’s been ten days since she left for Stirgenest Cairn.
Earthday 20th Planting 595
Was just about to open up the Feral Dog when Muffin came running in saying that Shrub-beard wanted to see us. Woke Grim up and headed on over.
When we got there Shrub-beard told us that he’d managed to get hold of the Chronicles of Chan and had found out some stuff about what we’d found at Filge’s. It turns out that the spawn of Kyuss is a parasite that is found in some undead. It also has the ability to cause undead creatures to form. He believes that these creatures are connected to an ancient temple that is rumoured to be underneath Dourstone mine. Shrub-beard reckons that Ragnolin Dourstone has found the mine and has started to populate the temple with varying kinds of undead.
Grim and Curly perked up at this point saying that we should head into the mine and put this temple to bed once and for all. At this Shrub-beard recommended that we speak to Balabar Smenk (Ragnolin’s main rival) to see if he could help us in any way. We were dubious about doing this as we’re pretty sure that Balabar is the one who sent for Filge (he’s the only person we can think of, aside from myself, who might sign a letter “S”). However if he did send for Filge then Smenk definitely isn’t a fan of the temple. The enemy of my enemy and all that.
Despite our reservations we headed over to the Emporium, one of Smenks favourite hangouts. I have to admit that I was quietly excited about this trip as I’ve never been into the Emporium before. On the door was a huge half-ogre (who I know to be called Kurlag) who said that it’d cost us two silvers each to go upstairs. Grim tossed him the money and we headed up the ornate stairs (well as ornate as anything is in this town). These led to a room that had an array of gaming tables. We spotted Smenk straight away at a card table with a few other men. On first sight he looked to me a like a taller, balder version of Grim. In other words he was fat and ugly. His most noticeable feature were the mutton chops he had growing down his cheeks.
We politely waited until he finished the game (which he somehow won) before making our move. We headed over to him and he immediately recognised me. He said that he’d heard of us and of our excursion into the Whispering Cairn. I introduced us formally as Deree’s Daring Dynamos (a name that the others, for some reason, didn’t seem too enamoured with) and then introduced everyone individually. We told him we needed to speak to him and he said that he would if we got him a bottle of wine. Grudgingly I bought a bottle of the cheap stuff and we joined Pork-chop and his two bodyguards in a private booth.
Grim then decided that the best way to tackle this would be head on. He told Porky that we knew about a temple beneath Dourstone mine and that we believed that he not only knew a way we could get in without notifying Ragnolin but also that he knew something about what was going on down there..
Porky went sullen at this. He said that he only knew what was going on because Ragnolin had forced him to help (he’d woken up one morning to find his second in command’s head on his pillow) by supplying food and mining equipment to Dourstone. He said that Ragnolin and the cult terrified him. When we asked about the cult he said that it was known as the Cult of Ebon Triad (the black three Sneeze reckoned). Porky said that this was a cult whose focus was to bring three lesser evil gods (Hextor, Vecna and Erythnul) together to form one powerful uber evil god. He said that members of the cult were considered heretics by true worshipers of the gods (I managed to hold my tongue in asking which one of the three he worshiped mainly ‘cause Curly might have felt obliged to kill him there and then). We enquired about the layout but all he could tell us was that there was a shaft in the mine that led down to the temple. He said that to get in all we’d have to do is bribe some of the guards (he suggested that the day guards might be easier to bribe than the hand-picked dwarven guards that operated at night). He believed that the guards and workers were not cultists and so would probably not know what was going on below.
We told him that we were planning on going in and destroying the temple (and so his biggest rival) so would he be willing to aid us financially. He gave us sixty gold to help with the bribes.
That done we left the Emporium. Personally I felt like I needed a bath having spent so much time with that man.
Muffin went to tell Shrub-beard that we were going into Dourstone mine that day. His master then said that he’d acquired us a building that we could have as our home. I thought that was nice of him until I found out that it was the abandoned mine office that we first met him in. To say it’s a fixa-uppa is an understatement. It’ll probably cost more to fix up than we could ever hope to earn adventuring.
Anyway, despite that disappointment, we picked ourselves up and headed towards the mine. We decided to scout it out first from a nearby hill. I hoped to spot a regular from the Feral Dog but no such look. It was decided that Grim, Muffin and Curly would go up to a group of guards on patrol whilst the rest of us hid nearby.
I’m not sure what was said but next thing I know Sneeze is standing up and heading over. I guess he got lucky ‘cause Grim had apparently only just finished brokering a deal with the guards. The pair took us in the front gate and, after a brief sojourn to the watch-tower, led us into the mine. According to Grim it was pretty standard until we came to a tunnel that had been blocked off. The guards said that no-one was to go down there by direct order of Ragnolin Dourstone. A few more gp in their pockets changed that rule.
We took down the boards and entered the forbidden tunnel (after getting some of the miners to re-board the entrance after us). This led us to a room that had a large hole in the middle of it suspended above which was an elevator that was operated by a pulley system on the inside of the carriage.
Gingerly we all got into the elevator, wincing with every creak that it uttered. Grim, Sneeze and Curly all rolled up their sleeves and started to turn the lowering mechanism. All in all the shaft descended around two hundred feet according to Grim before landing at a strange room at the bottom that had three small corridors leading off it. Above two of the corridors were symbols; one was the symbol of Hextor, the other of Vecna.
Before we had a chance to take a look around we heard a voice from behind:
“You’re not meant to be here!”
We jumped out of the lift to come face to face with two humanoids that could easily be mistaken for humans if it weren’t for the horns sticking out the top of their heads.
We rushed to engage them but they’d obviously recognised me as they both started to flee. One ran down the corridor that had the symbol of Hextor carved above it and the other backed up some stairs that spiralled the room around a large pool of dark liquid.
As we gave chase I was stalled by a shocking sight. Muffin cast a spell. Nothing new there you might say. However this one was actually useful. He cast the one where a magic ball shoots from his hands and hits a target but this time two balls appeared. And even more amazingly than that, they actually seemed to hurt one of the mini-demons.
By the time I’d recovered from that both the demons had been slain but not before the one that had ran down the corridor had managed to bang on it. The Hextor door opened and in the room beyond stood eight rusted suits of full plate armour with red eyes glowing from beneath their visors.
Muffin then showed some more of his newfound casting abilities by producing a ball of electricity on one of them. Every few moments he’d move the sphere onto a new (what we found out were) skeleton, zapping them until they died… or is that re-died?
Anyway with Muffin’s ball of zappiness working from one end and the rest of us battering away from the other, it wasn’t long before all of the undead were fully dead.
As the last suit of armour crashed to the ground we heard what sounded like a pig squealing coming from the room beyond where the skeletons had come from. Cautiously we made our way through and located the source. It was coming from a room on the left of a corridor beyond the room beyond the room where the skeletons came from (yup, I’ve read it over and that’s exactly where it was coming from).
We set up and Curly moved forward to open the door beyond which stood a huge (and I mean bacon and pork chops for the rest of your natural life) wild boar. It took one look at us and charged trying to impale Curly and Grim on its tusks. Curly did not take a liking to this and with one devastating blow he destroyed the beats as surely as a fine rain would destroy his perm.
Along this corridor there were two other doors which we decided to check out. We couldn’t hear anything through the one on the right of the corridor but I could hear the sounds of people breathing coming from the double doors at the end.
Forming up one more time Grim and Curly barged open the door and with a war cry that would shake the bravest of men, we stormed the room. Inside we were faced by twelve men carrying longspears, not so bad for people of our calibre I know, but the problem starts when I tell you that the room was ringed by a platform some twenty or so feet off the ground. On this platform stood five of the horny humans all carrying bows, two of the bugbear zombies we’d met in Filge’s, a heavily armed and armoured half-orc and a similarly dressed female human all of whom seemed to be protecting one human male who was also armed to the teeth. Each of these beings was wearing a symbol of Hextor and in the centre of the room stood a statue of the man himself complete with six arms each of which was carrying a different weapon.
With a cry more akin to a man who’s just heard that his wife’s mother is coming to live with them, we exited the room. Grim and Curly tried to close the doors behind us but they wouldn’t budge.
It was at this time that a large ape suddenly appeared in the statue room. Without delay it headed towards our group. We backed off to the end of the corridor at which point I threw a dagger at the creature. Unfortunately it bounced off its extremely thick hide. We managed to get our composure back and form a defensive line which quickly turned to an offensive line. In a matter of moments the fiendish ape was dead but that wasn’t the last of our worries. As the beast fell, the twelve spearmen charged only to fall prey to our superior skill and ability (I say “our” as I don’t want to take all the credit myself, even though I deserve most of it. Maybe Salty and Sneeze a little as well, but that’s about it, although we were slightly motivated by Grim cheerleading from the back.).
As the fight ended the double doors leading into the statue room closed although we saw no-one near enough to have pushed them.
Compelled by the fact that up to three clerics of Hextor were busy planning and preparing spells (and the fact that the spells that Grim and Muffin had cast were running out), we hastily searched for another way into the main chamber. The first two doors we tried were dead ends: one looked like a small armoury (most of the weapons and armour missing) and the other simply contained a small statue of Hextor.
The final door we checked (the one opposite the pig room) led onto a corridor that had one door leading off at its far end. Unfortunately this door didn’t budge an inch even with Grim putting his great girth onto it. Deciding that subtlety (well as subtle as Grim gets anyway) wasn’t working, Sneeze and Grim started battering away at the door with their weapons; a great, huge, uber axe for Grim and for Sneeze his small, tiny and rather plain fists. That said Sneeze did go at it like he was trying to wake it from a deep slumber.
The door eventually gave way only for sneeze to get shot at by three of those horned human type things (I’ve now been reliably informed that they’re a demon race called Tieflings). Not disheartened though, Sneeze ran into battle. Now when I say ran I actually mean stumble as blocking our way was a bed and desk that had been shoved against the door. Then Grim entered the fray. I saw him cast a spell but I don’t think it worked. The creatures, however, obviously caught a whiff of his breath ‘cause I’m pretty sure I heard them start to sob.
As the demons shouted the alarm the room suddenly went darker illuminated only by a shadowy light coming from one of the Flingy things. To counter this Grim snapped open one of his sunrods only for another one of the Flings to counter it with darkness.
As slow as a giant slug people made their way into the room, hampered by the debris and darkness. By the time I got there the only place to go was up the stairs that led to the main statue room. Grim followed me and we arrived at the top in time to see the woman reading off a scroll. Suddenly I couldn’t hear anything, not that I needed to as the two large zombies were approaching along the narrow walkway to our position.
As I took this in two shots came from the opposite balcony narrowly missing both myself and Grim. A brief glance over revealed the final two Flings aiming their bows at us. As if this weren’t enough, the man and the woman that had been standing guard over (what we assumed was) the head guy decided to follow behind the zombies, drinking potions as they did.
It was then that Curly arrived on the scene, taking a position between myself and Grim. His timing wasn’t the best however because as soon as he did a large flail appeared right next to him and whacked him one. Grim, seeing the horrific injury this magical weapon had done decided to employ our most expensive group purchase; he took out the healing wand and prodded Curly in the back. The affect wasn’t quite as dramatic as we’d hoped for (I think the actual prod did more damage than it healed).
Still the zombies came on. Fortunately, due to the narrow walkway, only one of the creatures could attack at a time. This didn’t really matter as, although there were three of us attacking, only one of us could hit. You’ve guessed it; it was down to me to bail Grim and Curly out again. I managed to slay one of the zombies virtually single-handed only for its mate to fill the gap.
All the while the two Flings on the other side of the room were distracting us with their bow fire. Deciding to give the other two a chance to redeem themselves, I decided to try and get past the second zombie to go and confront them. The three clerics had obviously read my intentions and so chose this time to flee through a door next to the throne leaving the unsuspecting Flings to whatever fate I decided I would bring.
I tumbled acrobatically through the zombie’s legs (giving it one last sting with my shortsword as I did) before hightailing it along the walkway. Unfortunately my small legs couldn’t carry me fast enough to pursue the clerics before the Flings blocked my path. Their mistake! I dispatched one of them easily enough before Grim came to help. He ambled his massive bulk along the walkway (that strained beneath the unfathomable weight) and tried to barge through the remaining Fling. This Fling had obviously cast some kind of invisible wall on itself because amazingly Grim bounced of it. This show of strength didn’t phase me however as with the next stroke of my sword (oo err) I felled the creature.
Myself and Grim ran to the door beside the throne and glanced through it to see Sneeze and Salty lying in pools of their own blood with the female cleric standing over them. Spotting us she ran up the stairs to engage us. I tried to tumble past her as I had the zombie but she must have seen my moves as she was able to block me off and cut me quite badly. Grim, seeing that our best warrior (me) was close to death, decided that he should use the wand again. He healed me up before we both got to work on the wench of Hextor. With our combined efforts it didn’t take long.
Grim then ran down the stairs but I, hearing the unmistakable sounds of Curly whimpering from yet another injury, ran back along the walkway and down the stairs. When I got there I saw Curly battling it out with the male cleric. We fought hard but our best blows simply bounced of his hefty armour. It was then that Muffin showed us that when he’s not thinking about casting spells, he can be useful. He came from round the corner to behind the cleric as threw some alchemist’s fire on the man. Even his armour plating couldn’t save him from the inferno and he died screaming his pain.
We all slumped over letting the pain from our injuries that we’d been ignoring throughout the long battle wash over us.
Despite the surroundings, I slept very well indeed that night.
Freeday 21st Planting 595
We spent this day healing and searching. We found a few interesting items, not least of which was Theldrick’s diary (which basically spoke how the three factions weren’t getting along and how he’d like to stuff the Faceless One into a sack and chuck him over the side of a boat) and a letter written in some sort of code. This prompted me to ask how Theldrick (the main uber cleric guy) had met his end and apparently he had been slain as he chased after Muffin in the room of shadows.
There were also some magical items including Theldrick’s armour and a ring. Sadly we have no way of knowing what these items do as apparently Muffin can’t cast the spell to identify them without some expensive components. Wizards!
Also I’ve decided to take up running. Not being able to move as fast as the others is really annoying.
Starday 22nd Planting 595
I think Muffin might be reconsidering his decision to be useless, I mean to be a wizard, and become a useful member of our elite fighting force, but more on that later.
Woke up this morning to the annoying sound of Grim calling my name. If that weren’t bad enough he wasn’t even pronouncing it right. And if that weren’t bad enough again, he was doing it on purpose. I don’t know why; the amount of times I’ve saved his (and everyone else’s) life you’d think he’d have a bit more respect for me the fat, smelly, dirty, old git!
Anyway, once breakfast was out of the way we decided, just for a giggle, to go through the door that had the symbol of Vecna above it, into what Thel-dick-head had called the “labyrinth”. Having been through it I wouldn’t so much call it a labyrinth as a bloody annoying series of narrow corridors that twist and turn all over the place containing a vast quantity of secret doors that led mostly nowhere. Ok, on second thoughts, labyrinth it is.
Not long after we’d entered I heard a sound that reminded me of Grim eating. Some kind of snuffling noise. Before I had time to tell anyone I spotted two rather large (what Muffin called) dire weasels. Unfortunately they also spotted me. They came at me, squealing horrifically as they did, but I managed to beat them to the patented Sneeze wake up call (otherwise known as a punch) and threw two daggers at the nearest one before finishing it off with a swift strike from my shortsword.
Meanwhile the other dire weasel had run off round the corner where Sneeze and Muffin had ran. Sneeze, who hasn’t been on his game at all recently, managed to let the stupid smelly creature (dire weasel, not Grim) grab onto his arm with one it’s powerful jaw. More embarrassing than that though was the fact that he was saved by one of Muffin’s spells. Definitely not a story to tell the kids.
Just as I was about to relax my guard, I heard a shuffling from behind. I turned to see some humanoid bird things dressed in studded leather and wearing a cowl approaching. Curly stepped up to the first one and killed it with a single swing of his sword. As I looked past the melee trying to gauge the best time to strike I was sure I spotted one just walk into the wall. This spurred me into action and so I barged past Curly and tumbled my way past his latest opponent, striking him as I did. Salty (bless her tiny cotton socks), obviously still trying to impress me, tried to emulate me. Sadly she lacks my skill and technique and was thwarted by the birdy thing. I suppose I should really give her some lessons, but I’m worried she may take that as a sign of affection. I really don’t want to give her false hope. It’s bad enough Tira fawning over me every chance she gets, but I’m not sure even I could cope with two women. Who am I trying to kid; of course I could! I’m just not sure they can handle me is all.
Speaking of Tira, I wonder if she’s back in town yet???
Anyway, as I tumbled past I saw how the bird things had been walking through the walls; there was a secret door. I thought elves were meant to be able to spot those types of things? Must be yet another drawback from being a wizard.
Whilst all of this was happening I noticed something: the bird things were squealing exactly like the dire weasels had. Weird!
Despite this minor distraction, myself and Grim dispatched the Bird that had had the misfortune to get trapped between us. As I struck the killing blow, Grim ran through the secret door after one of the birdmen whilst I made my way round the outside in time to witness a sight I didn’t think I’d live to see; Muffin carrying a sword! Yes it’s true! He stepped over Sneeze’s fallen body and swung that sword with a fervour I’ve only ever witnessed when Curly takes a comb to his hair first thing in the morning. I’ll tell you what; he wasn’t half bad with it either. Not as good as me but still miles better than he is at spell-casting.
After Muffin had miraculously dispatched of that birdbloke I thought the battle was over only to be somewhat surprised by a spray of colour that washed over me, temporarily blinding me. I’m just glad it didn’t hit any of the others ‘cause to those lesser willed souls the affects would probably have been permanent.
My sight returned just in time for me to sense that something was wrong… very wrong. As I turned to the others an explosion of fire erupted in the middle of us. I skilfully evaded the blast but the others weren’t so fortunate. I Looked back to find Muffin on the floor bleeding to death and Grim charging towards a birdbloke moments before feathers flew due to severe axe chopping.
Grim healed up Muffin and Sneeze whilst it was then decided that, to supplement his “amazing elven eyesight”, Muffin should wear the goggles that we’d found in the Whispering Cairn and look again for secret doors. The plan worked, and then some. We found loads of them. Most of them led to passages through the stonework of the maze to other parts of it but a few led to rooms that had obviously been converted into nests for the birdblokes. We found a fair whack of money and jewels in these nests and yet another pair of magical glasses. The others were too scared to try them out so I put them on. These ones also bettered my eyesight but in a different way to the others. Where as the first ones we found allowed me to see things better close up, these ones made me able to spot things better at a distance.
There were three doors that led somewhere else though. The first one we tried led into a storeroom filled with crates of supplies all bearing the Rooster seal of Porky Smenk (so he was at least telling us half a truth when he said he was forced to give supplies to Dourstone). The other unusual thing about this room was that is was magically lit. A bit posh for a larder, don’t you think? The room was so full of supplies it made it almost imposable to move through so we decided to check the other two doors. Both of these entered the same pillared corridor. I could hear mumblings coming from around the corner so I snuck off to investigate. I popped my head around the corner and discovered a very strange room. At the far end was a small alter between which stood three figures. I say stood, more accurately two of them stood; one of them sort of floated and it was the floating one that was mumbling incoherently.
There were also three doors one of which (the one at the far side of the room) I knew led onto the corridor so I came up with a cunning plan; we’d split up and attack from two fronts. I decided that myself Grim and Curly would move in from the door whilst the others would come in from the archway. The plan went amazingly well… that is until we put it into motion. Sneeze was the first to attack; he charged in and sent a flying kick straight into the face of the floating guy. Sadly “Floating Guy” could also have been known as “Incorporeal Guy” as his foot past straight through him. I ran in to aid my comrade but my weapons were just as ineffectual against the creature. It was at this time that something suddenly struck me about Incorporeal Guy; he was, without doubt, the single most fascinating being I’d ever met. Certainly far more interesting than my entourage! I was just about to engage the misunderstood creature in conversation when another spray of colour washed over me. Fool me once and all that, I managed to shrug off the affects of this one just as I saw Incorporeal Guy swipe at Curly. Now no matter how fascinating someone is, no-one messes round with my lackeys and gets away with it. Grim magicked up my weapons (temporarily sadly. Maybe his god’s too pissed to be able to do it permanently?) and I started to give Incorporeal Guy a taste of Halfling justice.
As I felled the creature, Sneeze and Salty dispatched of the two humans. I knew the battle wasn’t done as we’d not yet found anyone without a face. This in mind I ran to the nearest door and, hearing more mumblings and incantations, stormed through. Behind this (and one more) door I discovered a room dominated by a huge cauldron. In the corner stood a motionless skeleton but inside its structure I could see living organs: a heart, lungs and some big black lump that I’ve been assured was a liver. All of the organs were beating or pulsating as if they were truly alive.
I couldn’t let myself get distracted however as also occupying the room were two more robed humanoids and one mask wearing gentleman. As we entered the two blokes cast a spray of colour that washed over Salty, stunning her to a stop. As they did this, Mask Boy finished his own incantation and suddenly the rest of my party started t move really slowly. I however wasn’t affected and so I steamed in to put the wizards out of their misery. Having seen Muffin in action I knew that three wizards wouldn’t be much of a challenge for me and so it proved. Aided by Grim and Sneeze we obliterated our enemy with expedience.
As I wiped my enemy’s blood from my armour I looked around at my comrades who were busy wiping their own blood from their faces and it suddenly dawned on me; I hadn’t even been so much as scratched. I smugly took this thought with me as we searched the rest of the place. We found a load of magical items and money. I also bravely searched Mask Boy and with trepidation, took off his mask. I understand why he wears it now; he’s uglier than Kullen! Aside from his horrible facial features, Mask Boy also had on him the code for deciphering the notes we found on Theldrick.
The notes spoke of how the three factions were meant to be joining up to raise some kind of big uber overlord god that was a combination of all three. They mention someone called Kyuss who’s meant to be some badass who has control over some undead and some worms. More specific to our situation it mentioned that there was something rising in the pit – what was referred to as “The Ebon Aspect”. Great! That means that something’s probably going to rise up out of that black pit. I can’t wait! Although the notes do prove that they’re not all bad; they did mention they wanted Porky Smenk dead.
Sunday 23rd Planting 595
The day started well! Grim healed everyone up (apart from myself who was, of course, unscathed) before Curly and Muffin headed off to Shrub-beard’s with the potions so he could tell us what they were and also to procure (that means ‘get’ Curly if you’re some how reading this) some pearls so that Muffin could cast a spell to identify the magic items we’d found.
Whilst they did that the rest of us lugged up all the stuff we’d found to the top of the lift shaft. As leader I decided that it would be best if I took on a more supervisory role to ensure that the job was done properly. It was a fun day with even Grim remaining in a jovial mood. At one stage he jokingly threatened to drop me down the lift shaft after I advised him on ways he could more efficiently lift and carry things. Oh I do like his witticisms!
Curly and Muffin eventually got back (conveniently just after the last of the stuff had been shifted to the top of the mine. I pointed out to Grim how selfish this was of them. For some reason he gave me a withering look as he wiped his dirty sweating brow and muttered something about flying Halflings) and once the spells were out of the way it was decided that I was to get a ring that helps deflect blows against me and the magical full plate was to go in to be resized for Grim. The potions we split amongst us.
Moonday 24th Planting 595
With people suitably rested (although unfortunately not bathed) we made our way back to the bottom of the shaft and to the final, blank door. The door was opened by Grim (who I think is pining for his bouncing days at the Feral Dog) to reveal a rough hewn corridor with even rougher stairs that led down into a small cavern filled with stalagmites.
As I was explaining to Muffin the “tights come down” joke, a dwarven voice shouted “Grimlocks!” I was wondering why Grim had suddenly become interested in his hair-style until I spotted the hulking grey eyeless humanoids appearing as if from the cavern walls themselves (which was slightly less shocking than my initial thought). The Grimlocks fell swiftly, although it would have been even quicker had Grim actually got involved at the beginning as opposed to just arriving at the end to steal my kill. We inspected the bodies and found that each of them had a five pointed star made of stone sewn into their chests. Turns out that this was the symbol of Erythnul.
With this threat quashed we headed further down into the depths of the earth and to another cavern. As we entered a growl issued from the darkness closely followed by two bounding beasts that seemed to be a monstrous cross between a wolf and a hyena. Curly obviously didn’t find this any laughing matter as he struck one down with a single mighty blow. As he did this another Grimlock stormed into our torchlight. Still a bit miffed by Grim hogging the killing stroke on my last foe I charged in. Obviously the profession of dog-walking is a dangerous and savage one in their culture as this Grimlock was highly trained. Whilst the others ganged up on the Grimlocks remaining pooch I managed to force its owner towards a ledge that I’d spotted at the edge of our torchlight. Curly must have spotted this as, with a scream akin to that of Salty when she first sipped some of Grim’s homebrew, he charged over and barged into the perilously positioned Grimlock… and promptly bounced off. This slightly distracted me (ok, I pointed and started to laugh) and karma dealt with me swiftly as the dog-walker gave me some of what he’d obviously been dishing out to his mutts. Eventually the others managed to put Spot down and came over to help finish off his master.
Looking around the cavern we found that the only way out (other than the way in) was over the ledge. Grim looked over to see how far down the drop was but forgot this small but vital part of his task as two arrows thudded into his chest. With no idea where (other than down) they came from we decided after a brief debate to throw down a couple of sunrods with Sneeze sneaking a peak over the edge. He managed to make out a couple of Grimlocks on another ledge on the far side of the cavern a pair of Grimlocks with bows aimed up towards us. Unfortunately they passed out of sight as the sunrods failed to ignore the laws of gravity and continued their journey to the bottom of the cliff and the many jagged rocks that were strewn across the floor.
With gravity and the angle of descent (due to the overhanging stalactites) working against us we had to use our brains (when I use ‘we’ in the context of using brains you can automatically assume I mean ‘me’). We tied another sunrod to the end of our rope and lowered it until the Grimlocks came into view. All it took then was some precision shooting and half an hour later, the Grimlocks were dead.
We headed to the bottom of the cliff, using the handy makeshift ladder the Grimlocks had obviously constructed, and headed up the other side (ignoring the tunnel at its base) to the ledge the Grimlocks were now lying. At the back of the ledge was carved another narrow tunnel that wound its way into the darkness. In single-file we cautiously entered the tunnel. We rounded a bend and was immediately set upon by a very big, extremely angry female Grimlock who was carrying two huge daggers. I was just debating whether she was as ugly Grim or not when Sneeze and Salty acrobatically tumbled past the rest of us and engaged the she-b~@$!. With the dimensions of the corridor the rest of us could only shout encouragement (positive words of motivation are of course the base of any successful encounter) as the enraged female tore into two S’s. Despite several hefty blows, the Grimlock was eventually slain. As Grim healed the injured pair, Muffin cast a spell to determine if the b!&@+ was carrying anything magical and I searched her body. In a bag I found some money, a preserved drow head and a wand which, along with the studded leather that Salty took, turned out to be magical.
We continued along the tunnel until it opened out onto another ledge that had a rope-bridge on that crossed to yet another ledge with yet another tunnel leading from it. Being the leader and therefore the bravest, I decided that it would be best if I went across first with Salty following behind (obviously not being able to bear the thought of being away from me). As we got halfway across I sensed something was wrong. I looked down just as two horrible looking creatures with whip like appendages appeared from the rubble beneath us. Before I had time to warm anyone the monsters lashed out their arms and grabbed onto Salty dragging her from the bridge. As she fell three Grimlocks appeared at the end of the bridge and started to shoot. This distraction allowed one of the tentacled creatures to fasten one of its limbs around my neck and start to strangle me. The others started across the bridge to try and help but only Sneeze did anything useful. He jumped off the bridge onto the rubble and started some fisticuffs with the creatures attacking me and Salty.
Meanwhile the Grimlocks continued with their ranged assault on those of us on the bridge. It was as an arrow pierced my armour that I remembered that I had a couple of potions that would turn me into a gas for a short time. Despite the ever tightening grip on my throat I somehow managed to force the liquid down. Immediately I felt a release as the tentacle lost its hold and passed right through me. Only taking the briefest of moments to feel the wind blow through my entire body, I then drifted past the Grimlocks who paid me no heed whatsoever. I know they don’t have eyes and all but they’ve always seemed to be able to know exactly where we are. However this time they just let me pass them by without a single move against me. Anyway, my unselfish actions allowed Curly to push up more and start to engage the Grimlocks in melee. As he did this Sneeze and Salty finished off the whip-arms. Salty ran down the rubble and towards the tunnel at the bottom back to where we’d come from but Sneeze had different ideas. Taking a running leap from the pile of rubble he flew upwards and grabbed onto the rope bridge, causing it to swing violently and Curly to almost fall off. Using this brief moment of panic, the Grimlocks fled not so much past me as through me down the tunnel.
With the immediate threat gone, I turned myself back to real form and called Salty back to check the rubble whilst she was down there. She managed to find a necklace and a longsword that was made out of some weird metal that Grim called Cold Iron (apparently it’s good for hurting some creatures that are impervious to normal metals).
We headed up the staired tunnel which ended in a small ten foot tall cliff. We were contemplating how to climb this when half a dozen Grimlocks popped their heads over the side… along with their extremely pointy javelins which they rained down on us. Being in such a bad position we decided to retreat but not before a few parting shots: I threw a gem that produced a ball of fire that only managed to singe the Grimlocks eyebrows and Muffin summoned a swarm of beetles that set about eating them. As we moved back in single file down the narrow corridor a big Grimlock jumped down after us. With a roar of pure rage he charged after us and smashed his morning star across Salty’s skull nearly killing her. With too many people between myself and our foes I decided to use the same trick twice. I swallowed down my second and last potion of gaseous form and made my way through to the small cliff, passing several Grimlocks and a swarm that was getting dangerously close to where we had retreated to.
Before I floated up the cliff to where several Grimlocks remained, I glanced back down the tunnel only to see Salty fall from another heavy blow. Curly took her place but the enraged Grimlock knocked him out with his next blow. Sneeze managed to stem the tide of falling bodies by stepping up and stunning the Grimlock with a slap round the mush. My main concern as I floated up to the top level was that the swarm was getting ever closer to my fallen crew.
This part of the cavern had several more Grimlocks in it but one in particular caught my eye – or rather his eyes caught mine. Yup, this Grimlock actually had eyes. And not only that he was busy casting a spell down the corridor.
Knowing that this was a bad position to become whole I made my way around a corner, passing the Grimlock (which the others seemed to be referring to as “Grallak Kur”. As I did I noticed that he didn’t actually have eyes… well he did, but they weren’t his own: they had been sewn onto his face.
Once out of sight I turned myself back to a physical being and immediately the Grimlocks sensed my presence and within moments several had come to engage me. That was the last mistake they ever made as I swiftly dealt with them.
As I finished with those, the others had just made their way up to this level. I say others but what I really mean is Muffin, Grim and Sneeze had made their way up. Apparently Grim had tried to heal Salty and Curly but Muffin’s swarm had tried to finish off what the Grimlocks had started. Muffin had eventually put down his army of death beetles but not before they had sampled some probably extremely tough mutton from Curly and I’d imagine some stringy meat from my not so secret admirer.
Despite our lacking numbers we stormed towards eyeballs who retaliated with a couple of spells that created a noise louder than Grim’s snoring. Even with this deafening sound ringing in our ears we swiftly, under my supreme tactical instruction, took him and the remaining Grimlocks down (although on reflection I seem to remember Muffin starting to loot a few minutes before the battle had actually ended – I’ll have to have a word with him about that, although he did find a load of jewels, a magical haversack and ascertained that Eyeballs had been wearing a magical Mithril shirt so maybe it was worth it).
With us all being extremely injured (mostly by Muffin and his death swarm of death beetles from hell) and with Grim being all out of spells, I decided it would be best to rest here before checking out the rest of the caverns.
Godsday 25th Planting 595
After Grim had healed up the damage that the Grimlocks (ably aided by Muffin) had done, we set off down the one remaining tunnel. This led into another large cavern with a high cliff down that, once traversed, led to another cliff up that housed what looked like a sleeping area. A brief search of the area revealed a few defaced statues of Lloth (who is apparently the goddess of the dark elves, so at least the Grimlocks have some standards) and some magical rope.
Along with these were some scrolls written in common. I didn’t pay too much attention too what was on them (Curly’s monotone voice is enough to make anyone’s mind wander, although I am impressed that he can read) but the gist of it was that there is a power growing in the pool (as previously deduced by myself): apparently some kind of champion of the Ebon Triad. The scrolls also spoke of the return of someone called Kyuss and how the age of worms is upon us (not that scary if you ask me: I’ve seen worms before and their tiny. I can’t see them taking over the world. Although I have heard if you chop them in half you create two worms so maybe they hope to win by simply getting us to make mincemeat of them so that they can multiply their population enough to eventually suffocate us with their mass).
Trembling at the thought of drowning in a sea of earthworms, we made our way back to the lift chamber (on the way to collect the cauldron). As we entered the room we noticed immediately (to a distinct lack of surprise) that the pool was bubbling. We approached carefully and as we reached the edge of the pool the water erupted as out sprung a huge monstrosity (afterwards Grim would tell me that it resembled a bizarre amalgamation of the three gods of the black triangle): it seemed to have nearly a dozen arms that ended in massive claws.
Almost before the water had hit the floor Sneeze leapt in with (even I have to admit) a very impressive looking flying kick. Sadly this only seemed to enrage the creature who lashed out at us with its many arms. Bravely I struck out at the beast but it’s hide was thicker than my sword could pierce (although at least I actually hit it as opposed to Grim and Muffin who decided that this was the time to suddenly (well for Grim it was sudden: I was just grateful that Muffin hadn’t started hurting us) become more useless than Curly at the weekly Feral Dog drinking contests). However Curly and Sneeze started wailing on it with a fervour I haven’t seen since Grim when Tak last ordered a guest ale.
Having probed the beast a few times I finally hit the right spot and impaled it with my sword. This act of extreme courage and skill had an immediate affect as Grim finally entered the fight in a meaningful way. And what a way! He cleaved into the beast with his axe; a blow so devastating that it felled the so called champion of the Ebon Triad sending it sinking back to the depths of its murky pool.
With the beast slain I thought it best to vacate the premises before Dourstone discovered what we’d done. Loot in hand we made our way to the surface and the safety of our new… I want to say home but I’ll settle for run down shack.
Waterday 26th Planting 595
After a good nights rest the others decided to head off to the Free City to sell our treasure and spend our hard earned money. I was about to ask Curly to buy me some stuff but decided that as I actually wanted to receive what I ordered, to ask Grim instead. Muffin asked if he could lend a load of money off me to buy himself a magical headband that would make him, he said “more” but I’ll just leave it as plain old intelligent. I agreed mainly due to the fact that I’m sick of doing all the thinking and it would be nice to have a break now and again.
I didn’t go with them as I wanted to stay and scout out the Halfling community to make sure they’re all ok. Plus I do miss working at the Feral Dog and I know they miss me, especially Tira.
Earthday 27th Planting – Sunday 2nd Flocktime 595
Not much happened whilst people were away. Grim lost his coveted “Drinker of the Week” title but that’s about it. Oh yeah! And Shrub-beard sent a letter requesting mine and my groups presence as soon as was convenient (see even he knows who’s in charge).
Moonday 3rd Flocktime 595
The others got back in the early evening. I made sure I got my stuff off Grim before breaking the bad news to him. Of course he wanted to stay and regain his crown but the others wanted to go and see Shrub-beard straight away. Personally I’d have liked to have made him wait a bit just to prove we’re not at his beck and call but knowing that the others would have just sulked all night, I decided we should go.
We got there and were greeted by a new servant. A Halfling servant. Obviously Shrub-beard had been impressed with me and decided he needed that kind of efficient, no nonsense leadership skills in charge of his staff.
Anyway, Shrub-beard, having made us wait a while, eventually invited us into his study. The Halfling servant had laid out a good spread for us which we demolished as our host told us why we were there.
Apparently he’d finished his study of the artefacts we’d found in the Whispering Cairn and he’d discovered that the carvings on them were an ancient language called Auran (which is, of course, the language of the elemental plain of air). He said that the place was made by the Wind-dukes of Aqua (an extremely old race) who’s main claim to fame was defeating the Queen of Chaos in some battle in the Fields of Peche up north ages ago using a powerful weapon known as the Rod of Seven Parts.
After I finished explaining to Curly how many seven actually was, Shrub-beard told us why we were really there. He said that although he wanted to go into the Cairn to have a closer look at everything, he had another more pressing engagement that he needed to attend to first. He needed to meet with the Battle Mage of the Free City (someone called Marzena) who was currently staying in Blackwall Keep which was situated in Mistmarsh. Shrub-beard wanted to hire us as body guards as the Mistmarsh is home to crocodiles and other, less pleasant creatures including undead (which the great wizard is obviously petrified of).
The reason for the visit to see Marzipan was that they had discovered some of those green worm type things that make undead really tough in the Cairn hills. On hearing this Curly tried to offer to perform this task for free but I managed to distract him by pointing to the window and exclaiming that I’d seen a Pegasus fly past. By the time he’d got back to his seat the deal was done and we were on our way back to the Feral Dog where Grim, who was fresh out of ale and money, begged everyone all night to buy him drinks.
Godsday 4th Flocktime 595
Felt sorry for Grim so I got a keg from the cellar of the Feral Dog and left it by where he’d collapsed last night. He seemed quite pleased with it.
We set off eastwards along a trail that got narrow quickly. Not much happened apart from we passed a group of very strange Gnomes who were heading into Diamond Lake.
Shrub-beard said that there was an abandoned farm house known as Shanks Rest after its previous owner who apparently inherited a fortune and moved to the Free City. The evening was spent listening to Shrub-beard droning on and on about his past and then Curly telling us all about his childhood in the temple. I swear I am never going on watch with him again (not unless he promises not to talk). It was worse than listening to paint dry. Although it was better than listening to Sneeze compare himself to a tiger. That man has such an over inflated opinion of himself.
Waterday 5th Flocktime 595
Passed a band of worshipers of St Cuthbert who were heading for Diamond Lake for some sort of religious festival; St Cuthbert’s Day they called it. After a very brief, very unsuccessful attempt to convert us (although Muffin seemed keen until he heard about their rules and regulations), they carried on their way and we on ours.
A few miles down the trail, I smelt something really strange. At first I just thought Grim was having another bout of beer farts but it soon became clear that the ever increasing number of flies wasn’t due to his lack of bathing; there was a distinct smell of death in the air.
We crested a hill and found we had reached our destination (although I think they have a cheek calling this place a keep – retirement cottage would be more apt) to find it being besieged by a gang of Lizardmen. We looked to our employer, the powerful and prestigious mage of great renown for inspiration and guidance for the forthcoming battle and I have to admit, I wouldn’t have been able to come up with the words that he did that even made Muffin lost for words:
“I’ll, err. I mean, I’ll teleport back to Diamond Lake whilst you guys take care of this. No, no, I’m not scared. I’m, err, going for, err, reinforcements. Yeah that’s right! Reinforcements! That will arrive in a day or so. You guys hold them off till then. See ya!” (ok, they weren’t his exact words but ask anyone, that was the gist of it).
Then in not even so much as a puff (and when I say puff, I mean Shrub-beard) of smoke he whipped out a scroll and disappeared leaving us all, if not agog, certainly gob-smacked.
Seeing the others floundering for some inspiration, and lost for words myself, I decided that there was only one thing I could do: lead by example. With a scream I charged down the hill towards an onrushing band of Lizardmen. Sneeze followed suit but Curly, obviously highly charged by my courage, charged straight past us both and into the path of our foes. Fortunately the enemy was unable to penetrate his thick skull, I mean armour.
The battle raged and it soon became clear that they had more than warriors in their midst. A shaman was hiding somewhere. I became aware that something was amiss when Salty let out a very girly scream and jumped backwards with extreme terror. As she did I spotted the cause for her fear; a snake (bless her. I bet she’s scared of spiders as well). Seeing a lady in distress I didn’t even think. I simply ran over and skewered the slithering beast (although on reflection I’m not sure I should have. This is only going to fuel her obsession with me and to be honest, that’s something I could do without).
The others, with a mixture of steel and spells had forced the Lizardmen to call a retreat. It was then that I spotted the shaman. As I charged him he became the first person in the battle to take inspiration from Shrub-beards actions and fled with what I would assume could only be the Lizardman equivalent of calling for his mummy.
I returned to the others to find that they had managed to capture one of the fleeing Lizardmen and were busy leading him into the so called keep. As I was wondering why, Muffin revealed he had more than a talent for trying to kill us: he can speak Draconic (although where he learned it is a source of some concern).
The soldiers revealed to us that in the first, surprise wave, the Lizardmen managed to break through the front door and capture the battlemage along with three of their rank. Muffin started to question our captive who was less than forthcoming. Even when Muffin produced a ball of lightning in his hand, the Lizardman refused to talk (I think he must have seen Muffin cast spells in the battle. No-one would be scared of him after that… well not unless you were on his side anyway).
It was then that a certain amount of excrement started to fly. Muffin, obviously miffed that not even a lone, tied up Lizardman was afraid of him, struck our captive with his lightning hand. At this Curly flew into a rage and attempted to strike Muffin who somehow managed to dodge out of the way. It was then that Curly said something that didn’t immediately put me to sleep:
“If you ever do anything like that again, I will kill you!”
He then proceeded to heal up the damage that Muffin had caused.
With all the tension in the air I decided to distract people by getting some more info from the soldiers about where the Lizardmen had taken the battlemage. The leader of the garrison said that there were several Lizardmen tribes in the area but that they had headed south with their captives. Muffin wasn’t keen about going after them when we didn’t even know who’d taken them but I decided that Curly needed placating so I sided with him when he said he wanted to go after them immediately.
We headed south into the Mistmarsh and travelled for four very wet and cold hours before it became too dark for us to continue.
We set up camp on a small hump of land that was jutting out of the rank water. I decided to take the second watch with Muffin so that I could let him know that what he’d done wasn’t acceptable, at least when Curly was about, and that there would be little he could do to stop Curly if he wanted to carry out his threat (I didn’t quite come out with it was ‘cause he was probably the worst tactician ever, but I think he got the message).
It was in the middle of this talk that another non-Grim smell issued forth from the darkness beyond our lamp. I immediately got Muffin to wake everyone up whilst I unsheathed my weapons in preparation.
As the others joined me, five creatures with red glowing eyes shambled into our lamp light. Grim identified them as ghouls. As they approached Grim enlarged himself and Muffin, who’d obviously not paid any attention to my lecture, summoned another swarm, this time of bats.
As we set about making swift work of the ghouls (apart from Salty who became paralyzed when one struck her) and Muffin’s swarm started to eat away at us, another shambling undead approached. Curly spotted that this one was a ghast as opposed to a ghoul. As it approached its stench washed over us nearly causing me to vomit. I managed to hold it down long enough to slay the beast.
I turned around to find and enlarged Grim lying on top of Salty. As he picked himself and her up he issued the second death threat that day to Muffin. I think it might have been motivated by more than just the damage to himself; I think he might have a thing for Salty. I hope this doesn’t cause any tension between us. I mean, it’s obvious to everyone that she’s besotted with me and this could cause some jealousy driven resentment directed at me from Grim. I hope not. I think he’s the one I like the best (although that isn’t saying much and the brief time I spoke to him sober he did start to sound a lot like Curly so I don’t know whether it’s just the beer talking).
The rest of the night passed uneventfully.
Earthday 6th Flocktime 595
We travelled till mid-afternoon when we spotted what looked like the entrance to some sort of lair. It was situated underneath some mangaroo trees and the entrance was slightly obscured by their roots.
Myself and Sneeze snuck up (Salty wanted to come as well but I thought that she and Grim could do with some time together without my presence getting in their way) and checked things out. A tunnel under the ground ended in t-junction with a small alcove opposite that contained weaponry.
With the coast clear we called the others up and headed in. The passage to the left forked off in two directions so I decided it would be better to go to the right. This passage opened up into a sleeping quarters that housed five sleepy, yet angry Lizardmen which we dispatched with ease.
We headed through the only other passage out of this room which led into another sleeping area that housed four more awake, but equally angry Liizardmen which we slew.
This done, we headed out of the room and up a sloped corridor under the roots. As we approached the room at its end we were all overcome by a horrendous smell. However, having spent to last month side by side with Grim, we had all become immune to any odour less pungent than the stench of the quasi elemental plane of crap.
We approached the room to find that it was, in fact, one gigantic waste pile, Muffin’s first reaction to which was to cast a detect magic spell. Unsurprisingly there was no magic in the vicinity (only the glow of wonder that surrounds how Muffin had thus far made it through the day without trying to kill any of us).
We were just about to leave when a tentacle whipped up from the garbage and wrapped itself around Curly (had obviously taken a good look at Grim and figured there wasn’t enough tentacle to go round). As we followed the tentacle back it became clear that it was attached to something… a big something… an Otiug to be more precise.
With no fear for my safety (and a desire to keep Curly alive so that I could see him and Muffin eventually go at it) I acrobatically tumbled past its other tentacles and engaged it in melee combat. Sneeze and Salty followed my example and we soon had the beast on the back foot. Obviously intelligent, the Otiug lashed out another tentacle at the greatest threat – me – and began constricting with all its might. Seeing me in what she perceived as danger, it was obvious that Salty became worried and enraged as she found reserves of energy and skill that none of us knew possible. With a flurry of blades she dispatched the beast whose dead limbs fell limp releasing myself and Curly.
Before she could comfort me I ran to Grim, to show my loyalty to him and try to big him up in front of Salty by allowing him to heal my wounds. Grim also showed that there were no hard feelings on his side as well by giving me a swig of his ale, although that might just be part of his new healing ritual as he forced Curly to down half a tankard as well before he healed him… either that or he thinks it’d be funny to see Curly half cut… if he does, he’d be right!
Anyway, now that we were all covered in muck and gunk and other unpleasant Lizardman waste, we decided to have a better look around the bin in case the Lizardmen had thrown anything useful away. They hadn’t! However Muffin did find some mushrooms which apparently have some healing properties. They can cure some permanent physical impairments that some creatures (mainly undead) can cause. We managed to scavenge eight of these little miracle mushrooms before we were done.
Stinking to the heavens (a new experience for most of us), we left the bin and carried on along the corridor. As we rounded a bend we spotted another room containing yet another five Lizardmen. They were prepared for battle and we didn’t disappoint. I charged in and slew one with one mighty blow. Sneeze tried to follow suite but his blow was merely a glancing one and, embarrassingly for Sneeze, Muffin had to finish it off with one of his magic dot spells (although curiously he can now produce three of them at once). Grim and Curly entered the fray and killed a Lizardman each before the final one turned tail and ran.
Salty tried to rush after it but I managed to hold the group back so that we could form up once more and continue on. We headed after the scaredy-lizard and presently found ourselves in another room containing, you’ve guessed it, 5 Lizardmen (although one was the one we were following). I charged in once more expecting my cohorts to follow on as usual only this time they didn’t. I’m unsure whether it’s because they knew I could take them on myself and simply wanted to sit back and watch the show of skill, bravery and dexterity I was about to put on, because they were in awe of my obvious power and charisma (although I would of thought they’d have been used to it by now) or they were just plain scared, but any which way, they left me to it. Three Lizardmen surrounded me whilst two headed for the rest of the group (smart these Lizardmen; focus your strength against your opponents strength).
The fight was as brief as the previous ones (although I did allow some people to help me finish off the ones on me, don’t want to hog all the glory now do I?) but the ending was slightly different. Out of one of our fallen foes crawled some small green worms – a spawn of Kyuss (one of the worms that is said to create undead and make them invincible). They squirmed for a little bit but soon ceased to move and died. Muffin put some into a jar to take to Shrub-beard to study but he did comment that these ones looked younger than the worms we’d seen previously.
As Muffin corked the vial we heard the sound of Lizardmen approaching from the other two exits out of the room. We formed a defensive line by the entrance we’d come in and waited for their arrival. From our right came two Lizardmen (one of whom looked really pissed off) and five came from the other.
The angry one stopped at the entrance and hurled a javelin straight into Sneeze who merely grimaced stoically (I’m not sure he has another look) at the wound. The other Lizardmen charged into the room only for Muffin to actually cast a spell that did what it was intended to do – harm our enemies. In fact, it did more than that… it killed all of them. Well all bar the pissed off one. The rest of us had to finish him off but not before he’d ripped into Sneeze a couple more times.
After Grim had patched Sneeze up, we headed down the corridor that the angry Lizardman had come from. This led into a room that had, you’ve guessed it, two unconscious humans that had been bound and gagged (what you thought there were four or five more Lizardmen? Shame on you!). Grim and Muffin checked them out to see if they’d been infected with any of the worms but didn’t think that they had.
With that small assurance Grim poked them with the healing wand and they immediately sparked into life, although you’d have had a hard time telling the difference by the answers they gave to our questions:
Q. How did you get here? A. Errrr, I dunno!
Q. Where are Marzipan and the other guard? A. Errrr, I dunno!
Thanking them for their help, we led them to the open air (grabbing them some weapons on the way) and told them to hide somewhere close before carrying on deeper into our enemies’ lair.
The next room we came to held something of a surprise: a Lizardman that didn’t immediately attack (and a Lizardman shaman to boot, not the one I chased off though). Oh yeah, and in the corner, unconscious, bound and gagged lay Marzipan (who looked like she’d had her jaw and all her fingers broke) and the other soldier.
Despite our suspicions of this disturbing creature, Muffin was our only hope for any kind of communication with the noble Lizardman shaman, so with a big dollop of doubt, I instructed him to translate for us.
Turns out this Lizardman was called Hishka and he was somewhat of a rebel. He said that he disliked the new king (some outsider Lizardman who’d come in a couple of years ago, killed the previous king and taken over) due to his warlike nature. Hishka said that he’d put up no resistance to us taking the prisoners if we killed the new king for him and got the tribe (apparently known as the “Twisted Branch” after the name of their lair) a peace treaty with the Free City.
We immediately agreed to the first but could only promise to try on the second (despite my huge power and influence locally, for some reason I don’t have the same pull in the capital. Personally I think they’re all a bit racist, or at the very least heightist up there).
With the agreement reached Hishka handed over Marzipan and the third member of her entourage and we prepared ourselves for the forthcoming fight.
As Curly took these two out to where the other two were we asked Hishka what he knew about the worms. All he could tell us was that a few years ago a great many of their eggs had become infected with them. He said that the tribe had been severely weakened as these infected eggs had to be destroyed and their offspring killed. It was around that time that the new king came to power and it was said that he’d made a pact with a great creature to ensure protection for the eggs. Hishka didn’t know what type of creature it was but did know that it had placed several guards that he had never seen to watch over the eggs.
It was at this point that Curly returned. Hishka said that the king and his shaman were in the throne room just along the passage. The thought of that cowardly snake charming reptile made me mad and by the time we were ready for battle I was positively enraged. As soon as Muffin cast the spell that quickened us I let out a war cry that I’d picked up from Grim (at least I think it’s a war cry…he used to shout it a lot before he hit people who spilt his drink) and charged straight for my enemy. The others, obviously aware that I wanted to take this one alone, all headed straight for the king who threw a trident at Curly (I think the trident may have hit him in the head as he would later tell me that the trident had pulled itself from his body and returned to the Lizardman).
The fight was as swift as I was brutal. The shaman tried to flee but I was too focussed to let this happen. With a whirl of my blades I slew him, his death cries joined by that of his king shortly thereafter.
My enemy slain, I let the rage subside and found myself quite drained for a short time. Whilst I was resting, Muffin cast a spell and promptly found some magic items not only on our fallen adversaries but also hidden behind the throne.
We headed on back to the shaman to inform him that the job was done when the cheeky snake asked us if we could do him another favour. He wanted us to go and check on the eggs as he didn’t completely trust the guardians that the now former king had placed there.
Feeling buoyed by our swift victory I agreed and so off we headed to the egg chamber. Ok, it wasn’t quite as simple as that. First we had to swim (and by swim I mean walk along the bottom) through a hundred foot tunnel that was completely submerged before surfacing in a room that was home to eight of the ugliest creatures I’d seen since I last looked at Grim. They looked like a weird cross-breeding of a Kobold and a black lizard. I was pondering the “why’s” and more importantly “how’s” of this coupling when Muffin stepped to the front of our group. He waved his hands in the creatures’ direction and sent a cone of electrical energy into the group instantly slaying five of them.
The other three of them were obviously in as much shock as me as they simply stood there whilst Sneeze, Salty and Curly vanquished (what a great word: vanquish. Note to self: must use vanquish more often) them.
With the worst guardians ever lying dead at our feet, we headed further in to the chamber itself. At the back stood a chest that contained four vials labelled “Cure Light Wounds” one of which Grim swallowed like it was a twenty year matured Dwarven ale.
At the end of this chamber was a short passage that led to the egg chamber itself. And what a chamber! If one was so inclined, one could have had Lizardman egg omelettes for breakfast for the rest of one’s life. There were hundreds of them. However they weren’t the only thing to grab our attention. Half way across the chamber sat a lone egg. It was about my height and was jet black. Muffin and Grim think that it’s the egg of a black dragon and that, coupled with the ugly half-breed Kobolds, led us to the conclusion that the great beast that the former king had made a pack with was a black dragon. Great! We’ve pissed off a dragon! How wonderful is that?
Anyway before I had a chance to give orders out, the others had lifted the egg up and carried it to near where we’d entered. As they were doing this, I spotted something at the far end of the chamber. I made my way closer and discovered three chests which contained loads of money, some potions and (what Muffin said was) a magical ring.
Then a sort of debate ensued as to whether we should just take the stuff in the chests or we should tell the Lizardmen about it in case it was theirs. Muffin had one opinion, Curly another (I’ll let you guess who was on which side).
Eventually I decided that we should simply ask Hishka what was in the chamber and if he mentioned the chests then it would only be right to give him them back. Fortunately for us, he didn’t know anything about them and so, with the promise that we’d do our best in the Free City to get a treaty signed, we left.
Then unfortunately for us, Marzipan claimed some of the items we’d found as her own. Muffin in particular was not a happy bunny about this.
We trudged on and set up camp once again in the marsh but this night was only disturbed by a passing Lizardman patrol from Twisted Branch lair.
Freeday 7th Flocktime 595
Grim woke up this morning in one of his moods and with one of his headaches. Personally I put it down to the amount of exercise he’s been forced to do over the past couple of days but the others thought there was a possibility that he had worms (the amount of food he packs away I’d assumed he’d always had worms) but they couldn’t find anything wrong with him.
We got back to the keep around lunchtime to find the soldiers in a massive panic. Once I’d managed to catch one he told me that in the initial attack one of the Lizardmen had managed to make it to the prison cells and smashed through the door of a cell that had been holding a tower guard who had gone mad with some kind of infection. This guy had now infected two more of the guards with his madness when they went to stop him. He said that they’d managed to block them in but were unable to stop them.
Berating them for being useless, I decided that we should put these men to rest once and for all (although Muffin bartered for some kind of reward which only ended up getting us a letter to take to the Free City). We headed down the stairs to the dungeons of the keep just in time to see the three crazed men bash their way through the make-shift barricade that had been erected.
The layout of the dungeon made it awkward for us to attack them as one group so I made my way round the back to an adjoining corridor. As I did, Curly
held up his holy symbol and, holding it out towards the men issued words that would terrify all but the hardiest of undead:
“For the honour and valour of Hieroneous and in the name of all that is good and right, I beseech thee be gone from this place and never return!”
Turns out that these three were the hardiest of undead!
Despite (or more precisely, because of) Curly’s failed attempt to banish the creatures, we set about attacking them. Unfortunately, they attacked back. With each punch bits of their flesh fell off and at one point one of them gross worm things landed on me. Salty (who’d followed me again for obvious reasons) once again let her passion for me guide her sword as she swatted the invertebrate off my arm and squished it against the wall. This small scare spurred myself and the rest of the group into action as we vanquished (there’s one) the three former soldiers with extreme expediency.
After the skirmish was won, Grim came over to me and checked me out (I think Salty must have told him about the worm). The fat drunken one said that the flesh on my face was starting to look funny and that we’d better get to a temple and get me checked out properly (nice to know that he can’t check me out properly, not that I especially want him to. Yuk!).
As we left the keep the reinforcements that Shrub-beard had fled, I mean headed back to Diamond Lake to get arrived (nice to know that they didn’t rush to save us) and handed over a letter from the yellow coloured, jelly nerved, spineless weasel asking us to come back to town and to bring Marzipan with us. Personally I’m inclined to head back with the gang from the Twisted Branch and lay siege to his tower. I bet reinforcements would get there in less than two and a half bloody days!
Anyway, we commandeered some horses from the reinforcements and set off.
Starday 8th Flocktime 595
I woke up this morning with the worst headache imaginable. I felt almost as weak as Muffin and my head felt so full of cotton wool that I think I now know what it is to be Curly.
Muffin handed me one of the mushrooms which I managed to force down, but it didn’t really help. Grim then came up to me and said he could have a word with his god and see if he would grant him a healing spell that would remove this disease. His god obviously deemed me worthy (of course he did! Why wouldn’t he? I’m the illustrious leader of the band of people that one of his worshipers is in. Hanseath had no doubt realised that without me Grim would be lost without a friend in the world and so knew that if he didn’t grant him this boon Grim would lose his faith and stop drinking, partying and killing). I choked down a flagon of ale as Grim lay his hands on my chest and immediately I started to feel better. Grim cast one more spell to restore my strength and I felt right as rain (why right as rain? Is rain the wisest of all the precipitations? Is snow scatterbrained? Are hailstones stupid?).
Anyway, I managed to calm everyone down and reassure them that I was ok in time for us to set off and get back to Diamond Lake before lunch.
We took Marzipan to see the lily-livered so called wizard who immediately took Marzipan into another room for what they called “a conversation” (although I’m betting that’s all that they did (that and a whole lot of sobbing about his Herpetophobia (that’s fear of reptiles Curly if your still reading) on his side) ‘cause there’s no way that she’s gonna give it out to the man who left her in the clutches of a gang of ruthless Lizardfolk when she’s no doubt completely besotted with the leader of her saviours).
Anyway about an hour later they came out and disclosed that they had no new news to impart. They knew that there had been more and more sightings of wormy undead in the Cairn Hills but their combined intellect (or lack there of) could not fathom why. The milksop said that he had a “friend” (put in inverted comers ‘cause we all know he hasn’t got any) in the Free City called Elogos and that he would probably know more.
As we were planning on going to the Free City anyway, I said that we’d pop in and have a chat (besides, it’d be nice to get some intelligent conversation for a change).
That night Muffin identified the items we’d found and then had a mini spat with Sneeze over some bracers. I think Sneeze won (wish I’d laid a bet, although saying that, I don’t think I’d have got very good odds).
And now, the story so far in our latest adventure:
Sunday 9th Flocktime 595
Went to the cowardly wizard’s to collect the items he wanted us to show Legless. These consisted of a load of artefacts from the Whispering Cairn, some worms and the talisman. He also gave us a note of introduction so that he wouldn’t kick us out (at least not until Muffin opened his mouth anyway).
I decided that this would be an ideal time to give Lavender some exercise. He’s gotten a bit fat over the past couple of months what with just sitting outside the Feral Dog eating scraps all day long. I can tell he wasn’t happy about it ‘cause as I was harnessing him up to the cart he let out a fart that even Grim would have been proud of.
Anyway, we set off and had a pleasant day’s travel with myself, Grim, Salty and Muffin on the cart, Curly riding some horse which he said he’d summoned (next time I nick something I’m gonna use that one!) and Sneeze jogging along side (he does have some good stamina that lad).
We set up camp at the side of the road expecting as peaceful a night as we’d had a day. Sadly not so! Whilst myself and Muffin were taking our watch I heard a growling, At first I just thought it was Grim’s stomach pining as it hadn’t received food for over an hour but a repeat of the noise clarified it’s position, and it wasn’t inside the camp.
Before we could wake anyone up, five large dark coloured wolves (Muffin shouted “Worgs!”. At the time I thought he was mispronouncing due to extreme terror but apparently that’s what these creatures are called) bounded into the camp and set upon us. As I unsheathed my weapons one of the Worgs latched onto my legs with it’s jaw and knocked me to the ground. I flipped myself back up and slashed at the creature only for it to knock me down again. One more flip and the wolf died, although not before Grim had summoned two evil looking spiders to help us. Once everyone was awake (and as is the custom, Grim was the last to rouse himself) we vanquished (two times) the Worgs quickly. Grim was back asleep almost before the last one had finished its death throws.
Moonday 10th Flocktime – Waterday 12th Flocktime 595
A pleasant time was had by all (apart from poor Lavender who had to pull the cart with myself, Salty, Muffin and more weightedly, Grim) travelling along the road to the Free City.
Earthday 13th Flocktime 595
We were just in the middle of yet another (what Grim called boring) pleasant day of travelling along the road to the Free City through a particularly dense area of forest when out from the trees sprang two really big and extremely ugly creatures that had long arms that ended in really sharp claws.
“Trolls!” Grim exclaimed as Curly manoeuvred his mount to attack and Sneeze flying kicked one. Apparently Dwarves don’t particularly like Trolls and Grim was keen to see these creatures dead. He set about one with his axe as Muffin (who even I have to admit is killing more enemies than friends at the moment) illuminated the two creatures with a huge sphere of flame. This confused me for a bit ‘cause normally all his spells come out looking like lightning (he would tell me afterwards that trolls could regenerate (“heal” Curly) all of their wounds except those caused by fire).
Anyway, we dropped one of them with ease and the other, obviously seeing my killing blow coming, surrendered. Now this is where the fun began. As I tied them up, Curly and Grim got into an argument over what to do with them. Curly, being the law abiding citizen that he is, wanted to take the captives (I use plural as the other one had started to regenerate so we tied him up as well) to the Free City. Grim, naturally, wanted to kill them here and now and save us all the bother.
It was then that one of the Trolls piped up that they were a peaceful gang and had only attacked us ‘cause they needed the money. When we enquired as to why they needed the money they said that it was to pay the Hill Giants to get revenge on the three people who’d attacked their cave and killed their three brothers. The answer to the question who’d attacked them came as a bit of a surprise. He said that there was a female elf who used a bow, a human male in robes who summoned fire like Muffin had and a large human male who had been wearing a stupid silver belt. It was at the mention of the stupid silver belt that the pieces fell together. It had been Tira and her crew who’d attacked them (that arrogant piece of Orc dropping Auric doesn’t go anywhere without his so called ‘Champion of the Free City’ belt).
Anyway, their plea of innocence fell on deaf Dwarf ears but Curly remained sympathetic to them (despite the fact that all he was really doing was delaying the inevitable – kill them now or take them to the Free City to be killed?). To try to get this sorted out I let Curly and Grim take one of the Trolls back to their lair to see if they could find evidence one way or the other although I don’t know why they bothered ‘cause when they got back and said they’d found human remains in the cave, Curly still wanted to take them to the Free City to be tried.
Unsure as to whether the Trolls were scared for their lives or just because they were as board with the conversation as I was, but the next thing you know one of them has broken his bonds and started to lay into Grim (and boy did he) Grim, never one to take getting nearly mauled to death lying down, struck back, as did we all (including Curly) as the other Troll also managed to break his bonds (they must have given me some inferior rope).
The fight ended in a pool of Troll and Dwarf blood. As the battle ended Grim turned to Curly with a look of pure fury. At first I thought he was just going to say something along the lines of:
“Yes, who’d have thought that members of an innately evil race would try to escape from being tried, convicted and put to death by breaking their bonds and trying to kill their captors whilst focussing in on one of their ancestral enemies who’d been trying to get them executed straight away?”
Sadly what he did do was much less scathing – he punched him. As punches go it was a good’n and did end up giving Curly a right old shiner, but I tend to think that a sarcastic comment goes a lot further to, not only humiliating the person, but also putting your point across. Saying that, both the point and the sarcasm might well have been lost on Curly, so perhaps Grim made the right choice. Curly, give him his due, stood there and took it like a man (or at least as close to a man as he can get). Seems he did understand what Grim meant after all.
Trying my hardest not to chuckle out loud at the whole thing, we carried on our journey.
Freeday 14th Flocktime 595
I am sooooooooooooooooooooooo angry you would not believe it!!!!! If I tear a hole in the page whilst writing then I apologise but those gate guards, especially that sergeant, want hanging (or at the very least firing). I can only pray for Yondalla’s patience whilst I tell you the full story.
We got to the so called Free City (more like bloody “Fee City”) and had to queue up as normal to get in. Once we got to the front I expected to just walk in as normal, but no! The guards on the gates made some sarcastic comment about us looking minted and said that we’d have to be searched in a holding room. They then proceeded to empty our haversacks and turn out our pockets and said that they’d have to hold some items that could possibly be contraband.
It was obvious to all there that all they wanted was a bribe but there was no way that I, Deree Silentfoot, inspirational leader of Deree’s Daring Dynamos was going to pay some arrogant little twerp with an over inflated sense of his self worth anything! Everyone else felt the same… everyone but Grim that was.
Grim asked to speak to the guard alone and was duly taken outside. During this time, in which I can only assume that Grim was bartering for our release, Muffin decided that the best way to help relations between us was to cast a spell. The guards left in the room didn’t take too kindly to this (have to be honest neither did I. What, trapped in a room with one of those swarm things? No thank you!).
Anyway, Muffin wisely stopped casting his spell and a few minutes later we were all let out. But this was not the end of it. Nope, not for Deree Silentfoot. No one treats me (or any Halfling) like that and gets away with it. Handing my gear over to Grim I decided to hang around for the Sergeant. Once his shift finished I followed him as he made his way back home. With this piece of knowledge now stored, I made my way to meet the others and the Green Dragon Inn. Whilst I’d been gone the others had gone to the counsel chambers with our letter from Marzipan and request from the Lizardmen and had been given an appointment for the 16th.
We had a few in there (mainly to calm me down) before we decided to head off to Legless’ place. Now his was the type of house that I want to get once I retire. It made Shrub-beard’s look like the run down shack he’d fobbed off on us.
As we approached the doors opened by themselves and before us stood an old looking Elven male. Very politely he invited us in and led us to a very ornate room in which sat a middle aged man with a really dodgy hooped ear-ring in only one ear, who introduced himself as Legless (well he actually said “Elogos” but you know these humans, no sense of humour)
We handed him over the letter from Shrub-beard and he seemed to almost sneer (“I didn’t think I’d ever hear from him again” were his exact words I think). Turns out he and Shrub-beard had worked together under the same master at one stage. Legless said he had nothing against Shrub-beard but the look in his eyes told a different story.
Anyway, we handed him over the stuff that Shrub-beard had given us and he said that it’d take him a while to find stuff out. He recommended that we stay at an inn called the Crooked House that belonged to one of his friends and that he’d contact us there.
We left and decided that as we’d already paid for rooms in the Green Dragon Inn that we’d stay there tonight.
Starday 15th Flocktime 595
In a much better mood today as I’m writing this on my new, beautifully crafted, Rosewood, travelling writing desk that was bought for me by Grim along with a new leather-bound book. He said that he’d spotted me scribbling into a book and that I’d nearly run out of pages so he thought that I’d appreciate this. He was right! It’s great! No more trying to balance the book on my knees. No more reaching down to re-ink my stylus! It’s brilliant!!!
Anyway today there was a parade in the city for the start of the annual games (probably where Orc-dropping won his belt last year) which was ok but did slightly interfere with our shopping trip. Especially when one of the attractions burst free of its cage.
This monster had huge wings and three heads: one of a lion, one of a blue dragon and one of a goat. A goat? I can understand the other two heads. A lion and a dragon are fearsome creatures that could kill a man viciously and mercilessly without a second thought, but a goat? I’ve seen goats before and all they do is sit on hills eating grass, hardly the scariest of animals. Had the shop run out of decent heads?
“No Worg heads left? Ah well, I suppose I’ll go for the goat head then.”
“Bleat”
Seriously! A goat head?
Anyway, the creature (that Muffin identified as a Chimera) had gotten out and was causing havoc. People were panicking and running around everywhere. Fortunately this wasn’t a problem for myself as I nimbly picked my way through them and out into the centre of the street to confront the beast. Salty and Sneeze followed my lead but Curly and Grim used a slightly different method to get through. I think the technique is known in the trade as barging.
As we got close to the beast we could see that its wings had been damaged so that it was unable to fly. However when clipping its wings they had neglected to clip its claws and teeth with which (along with breathing lightning) it started to rake into us (and by us I really mean Curly – for some reason it had taken offence to him). With all of us working as one cohesive unit and with Muffin pitching in as well, we vanquished (number three) the beast.
It was at this point that the city guard decided to show up (personally I think they were waiting for us to finish the beast off so that they wouldn’t have to get their pretty armour dirty). They hardly thanked us at all before starting their inquiry into how the beast had escaped from the circus people.
Grim healed everyone up (although he did have a bit of a strop with Muffin. Something about him trying to cast a spell that had cost him more money – which reminds me: must perform that errand later)
Feeling under appreciated we left to carry on our shopping. I managed to buy myself a nice set of magical gauntlets which makes me even more (I know that’s hard to believe) agile and a potion of invisibility (for the errand). I also paid for Muffin to learn the invisibility spell, also for the errand.
As we were making our way back to the inn to get our stuff so we could move into the Crooked House we spotted a man standing on an upturned barrel who was proclaiming the end of the world. At first I thought he was just another crazy doomsayer and carried on past him, but then he shouted about how “the age of worms is upon us!” This piqued my interest so I went over to ask him about it. I think he may be deaf (which would explain the volume of his voice) as he just stood there and stared at me blankly. After a few moments of this he simply looked away and started his whole rant once again. At this point I made a swift exit, collected Lavender and am now sitting in my room at the Crooked House (which is owned by a Gnome called Tarquin Shortstone 24th who, when we told him we’d been sent by Legless, said that we could have everything for free. I’ve never seen Grim’s eyes so bright) listening to the songs that the bards had already written about the exploits of myself and the rest of Deree’s Daring Dynamos and their bravery in slaying the Chimera filter through the floorboards (will have to tell them all about our other exploits as well. Maybe then I’ll get the recognition I deserve).
Anyway, I’m off now to perform that errand. Will tell you how it goes later.
(Doh! Realised i ran out of space on the first entry - here's the rest of it)
Suddenly the four cylinders smashed open. Out of three of them stepped undead creatures that looked like bipedal lizards but out of the one next to me stepped a seven foot tall bear like zombie that immediately hit me with a clubbing blow that sent me flying (for which I have to say I was grateful as I really did not want to spend anymore time next it than necessary). I recovered from that blow and took a swig of my healing potion before continuing towards the necromancer who had now summoned up a skeleton to guard him as well as two of the undead lizards. The rest of the group started to try and take care of the large (what I was told later was the zombie corpse of a bugbear) zombie and the other lizard.
As we were occupied with his minions the necromancer took the opportunity to inject himself with the syringe (with no visible affect) and cast a spell that created a ghostly hand. It was then that our wizard stepped up and cast his magic dot spell at the hand. The hand seemed to reel a bit but still continued on and hit Muffin around the face. Muffin grimaced slightly as he fought off whatever spell Filge had focussed into the hand. Muffin regained his composure and cast another missile at the hand which obliterated it.
Meanwhile I was busy fighting the skeleton and a zombie when I discovered something interesting; using a piercing action caused the undead very little damage but they did seem affected when I started using a slashing motion.
Out of the corner of my eye I saw Curly fall as the large zombie landed a blow and almost immediately afterwards Muffin fell as Filge shot two of those magic missiles at him.
Grim then positioned his ample frame at the back of the room and held up his tankard towards the undead. Suddenly the skeleton in front of me collapsed to the floor and two of the smaller zombies turned from their positions and fled away from his holy symbol.
This obviously pissed off Filge as he shot a ray of scorching heat at Grim which seemed to cause him considerable pain.
Sneeze, no longer hampered by a zombie, ran towards our one living foe but before he could get there the wizard shot a spray of colour out of his hands which knocked him unconscious.
Just as Sneeze hit the ground so did the large zombie was felled (amazingly) by Salty. As Grim turned to heal Curly, Salty charged towards the wizard but only managed to get half way there before he cast a spell and fixed her with a stare that made her turn and flee.
Curly, having recovered suitably, lay his hands onto Muffin. This seemed to revive Muffin enough for him to quaff his healing potion.
It was then that I decided that I’d had enough. I left the zombie that I’d been fighting and, with no fear for my own safety, ran towards the necromancer. Obviously fearing for his life, Filge cast a powerful ray of cold. His spell was wasted though as I easily dodged out of its way.
Curly, instilled with confidence at my presence, joined me in attacking Filge. With our combined efforts the fight was soon at an end. I allowed Curly to have the finishing blow (to boost his confidence you know. Must be debilitating dropping in a combat). As Filge screamed his last, all the undead fell to the ground.
We took a brief moment to recover after the battle before Grim cast a spell to detect if anything were magical. The bird skull amulet glowed as did a potion and the contents of a syringe. Downstairs Grim also said that the necroturgents were magical as was a scroll on the desk.
We ransacked the place for anything of value during which we found two items of particular interest. One was a bottle of liquid in which floated a small worm. Grim reckoned that it was something called a “Spawn of Kyuss” but he couldn’t elaborate any further.
The other was a note:
“Filge,
I need you in Diamon Lake my boy. The cult situation has grown worse. Deep within Dourstone Mine they’re studying things brought in from the southern hills. Green worms and unkillable zombies.I nicked one of the worms for you to study.
I’ll put you up in the old observatory. Show this letter to the big white half-orc at the Feral Dog. He’ll help you get settled. I trust you’ll find these coins sufficient to cover your travel from the free city.
S.”
Two interesting things come from this letter. Firstly that Ragnalen Dourstone is looking into these Spawn of Kyuss and also unkillable zombies and secondly that someone with the initial “S” sent for Filge.
Now the question that springs to mind with this is what does the person who sent for Filge want. Does he want to stop the creation of unkillable zombies or does he want to get some of his own? Either way I figure we’ve got to try and stop the research.
Anyway we cautiously made our way back to the dining room but the zombie diners hadn’t moved at all. We set up a pyre behind the observatory and burnt all the zombies and corpses of zombies.
We rested the night here whilst Muffin keenly read through the spell book and scroll in a desperate attempt to find a decent spell to add to his extremely limited arsenal.
Freeday 14th Planting 595
We rested the day and did some shopping. I managed to pick up the studded leather armour from Ozy and Muffin managed to identify some of the magic items. The only real one of interest was the bird amulet which adds some natural protection to its wearer. After a short debate (and much sulking from Muffin) it is decided that Sneeze is going to wear it.
Whilst we were in town we tried to sell the valuables we’d found to Tidwowd only for him to virtually spit in our faces. The tight stingebag offered us a pittance. After we picked our jaws up off the floor we declined his offer and left. We’re now looking to sell them to someone in the Free City who might offer us something near their true value.
Starday 15th Planting 595
Started off the day with the pleasant task of burying the remains of the Land family back on their plot next to Alastor. We then headed back to the Whispering Cairn and back to the iron ball room to find the door at the end had been opened.
Whispering a thank you to Alastor, we made our way across and into the room beyond. I say room but huge pit would be a more accurate description. The entire room was one big bottomless pit surrounded by a large stone walkway. In the middle of the room was a platform that was supposed to have four walkways leading to it but two of these had collapsed. At the centre of this platform rose a pillar of rushing air that extended to the top of the chamber. The whole room looked like it was lit by sunlight on a summer’s day but there was no hole in the ceiling.
Around the walkway stood four wide galleries, their far walls covered with enormous bas-relief visas. When we moved towards these pictures, smoky sheets of steam breathed out of them. This smoke then started to form into moving pictures. Moving clockwise around the room the pictures showed a story the translation of which was helped by Sneeze who said that he’d read something about this in a book called “The Chronicles of Chan”.
Picture one:
The image depicts a peaceful scene featuring several vaati relaxing in an idyllic country scene. Dozens of perfect circles fill the sky above the frolicking figures. As the steam runs over the image, dark, twisted shapes emerge from the sculptures edges. The shapes coalesce to form monstrous creatures that look like a cross between spiders and wolves. As the creatures approach the wind dukes (warrior vaati) the circles in the sky begin to burst one by one.
Picture two:
This image depicts a towering vaati figure wearing the glyph of Icosiol standing over a legion of lesser wind dukes warriors. The central warrior bears the glyph of Zosiel, but each figure bears a glyph of a distinct wind duke warrior. As the steam plays about the image, the warriors raise longswords in salute to Icosiol.
Picture three:
A group of several proud wind dukes present a staff like rod to a council of superior vaati. As the steam fills the bas relief's contours the central figure raises the staff above his head where it splits into seven irregular parts. Each of the seven wind dukes present bears a carven glyph that identifies him as a member of the wandering dukes.
Picture four:
The bas relief in this gallery depicts the final battle between law and chaos. As the steam moves about the image, the wandering duke Qudeej impales the wolf spider, a demonic entity that looks like a drider with four arms and a human head flanked by 2 wolf heads. As the wolf spider, rod and Qudeej vanish into a planar rift, Icosiol is struck by a beam from the wolf spiders eyes and slumps dead to the ground.
We have got to get a copy of those chronicles.
Anyway, our heads still reeling from the show, we headed to the central pillar and took a closer look at the pillar of air. We were just deciding which one of us was most expendable (Salty was unanimously voted) when two figures stepped out of the column. These figures were armed and armoured like the wind warriors depicted in the moving pictures but their light movement belied the weight of their armour.
Without hesitating the creatures crashed their swords together and sent out a blast of sonic energy that pierced our ears. We commenced battle precariously balanced on the edge of the central ring knowing that one wrong step would plummet us to certain death. The wind warriors had no such worries as they floated out over the chasm as light as air.
Once again we were forced to rely on Muffin’s limited spell casting capabilities but once again (to my eternal surprise) he came up trumps slaying one of the creatures with his magic bullets. Salty finished off the remaining one with some unusually accurate shots from her bow.
Our latest foe defeated we proceeded with our initial plan. We tied a piece of rope around Salty’s ankle and she entered the wind column. We flew her like a kite until suddenly she disappeared into thin air.
A few moments passed when as suddenly as she disappeared, Salty reappeared at the base of the wind column. She informed us that there was another room at the end of the wind column.
We tied ourselves together and all moved into the pillar of wind. After a few seconds we found ourselves in what looked like a burial chamber. At the far end of the relatively small room was another white marble sarcophagus that looked extremely similar to the one in the lantern room. Behind this was another moving picture that showed a warrior and a horned figure. As we watched a black orb appeared and touched the warrior who immediately died.
Thinking something must be dodgy about this room, Grim cast a detect magic spell. He informed us that something inside the sarcophagus was magical. Slowly myself and Salty moved towards the large coffin but as we approached I heard a voice in my head.
“Speak my name!” it demanded in my native tongue. Taking an educated guess I spoke the name Zosiel as did Salty who later informed me that she’d heard the same question in common. As soon as we’d spoken the names a light appeared on the sarcophagus revealing a previously unseen seam.
We checked for any traps but found none and with quivering anticipation we pushed open the lid and were immediately consumed with a wave of disappointment. Inside were the remains of a vaati wearing a diadem that glowed magical. Lying with the body were a pair of black horns and a sealed pewter box engraved with letters that Grim identified as symbols of the Queen of Chaos. Grim also said that there was something inside the box that was magical.
We took the box, the horns and the diadem and left the Whispering Cairn for what I sincerely hope is the last time. We went to Shrub-beard and got him to identify the items. He said the diadem gave the user increased wisdom and that the item in the box allowed the bearer to control a powerful artefact known as the sphere of annihilation (the black sphere depicted in the moving picture behind the sarcophagus).
Shrub-beard asked us to tell him about our mission now that it had ended so I regaled him with a tail of bravery and cunning that would almost defy belief. Sadly this did not increase our payment as he handed over the forty gold he owed all of us.
He did however say that he would research the spawn of Kyuss for us if we left the worm with him. We agreed and left.
After another brief discussion it was decided that Sneeze would get the diadem and give the bird amulet to Salty.
This mission finally over we went to our respective abodes and I, for one, had a well earned rest.
This follows on from my fourth post (the fifth post was the climax to the first post which i had to add on cos i messed up)
Earthday 20th Flocktime 595
You may be wondering why there’s a gap of several days between entries. Well I’ll tell you. I was returning to the Crooked House from that errand I was telling you about (which went well by the way. That guard will need whatever his cut was of that payoff that Grim gave him and more to repair the damage I did to his house) when I spotted the others along the street coming towards me. I asked them what was going on and why Grim was sober (that should have clued me up that something was terribly amiss) but all they said was that they had been given a lead by Legless and were going to follow it up.
They were pretty vague about the details but I was still feeling smug about gaining my revenge on that scumbag of a guard that I didn’t think to query anything. They started heading for the docks and the next thing I know I’m tied up in a chair in a black octagonal shaped room with a banging headache.
At first I thought that they’d somehow managed to translate my diary and couldn’t handle some home truths about them but this was soon quenched by the realisation that I’d just been kidnapped. I first suspected that it wasn’t the others when Muffin walked into the room and smiled at me before cracking me across the head with a sap so hard it knocked me out (we all know Muffin hasn’t got the ability to either smile or knock anyone out). My next clue came when I spotted Grim drinking water and my suspicions were finally confirmed when I saw some thing that was even more amazing than the first two.
Curly had just left the room having battered me around for a bit and as the door was closing I caught sight of him morphing into something else. Just before the door closed, the pretend Curly finished his change and the sight was about as pretty as Grim in the morning.
The creature was around five foot tall with grey skin that looked like it was designed to only cover a creature half its size. Its eyes were huge and milky but the strangest thing about it was that, other than those almost lifeless eyes, it had no facial features what-so-ever.
I’d heard tale of creatures like these that could change their shape into anything or anyone they pleased: Doppelgangers!
The only question left was why did they want me and why hadn’t the others come to get their brave and illustrious leader out! The only conclusion I could make was that one of these shape-changers had taken my place in the group and was busy trying to bring it down from within (although I think Muffin’s been trying to do that ever since we first got together).
A number of hours past during which time I tried to escape my bonds but all I succeeded in doing was tilting my chair over, the result of which was for the pretend Muffin to come in and whack me round the head again.
When I woke up this time I was strapped to a table surrounded by five Doppelgangers in their natural form. Suddenly I felt a searing burst of pain shoot through my head (almost as bad as that time I heard Salty sing). This lasted what seemed like an eternity before the soothing release of unconsciousness enveloped me.
I drifted in and out of consciousness for I don’t know how long and it was during these blackouts that I had a series of dreams so vivid that I swear they must have been actually happened.
My eyes opened and I was in a field full of dead plants. I turned my gaze around and spotted the most beautiful Halfling woman approaching me. As she did, she spread her hands and suddenly the plants around her started to come back to life. The wave of energy swelled from her until the entire field was vibrant and alive.
The woman approached me and I sank to my knees in the presence of what could only be Yondalla.
“Nurturing Matriarch, Protector of the Halflings, hear my prayer” I begged. “Save me from my captives and grant me my revenge!”
“My precious son” the Blessed One smiled “before I can release you, you must forgive those that have wronged you.”
“That is something I cannot do!” I said bowing my head.
“Then I cannot release you from this torment.” Yondalla smiled once more before she disappeared.
The vision blackened before I once again opened my eyes to find myself in that octagonal room bound to a chair. Around me was the entire group; Grim, Muffin, Salty, Sneeze and Curly who sneered at me just as I fell back under.
This time I awoke to find myself in the counsel chambers. In front of me stood a man in a shining suit of armour, a lightning blot grasped in one hand, a longsword in the other.
“Invincible one” I spoke the start of every prayer I’d heard Curly offer to Heironeous “Save me from my captives and grant me my revenge!” I repeated my prayer.
“It is not vengeance you should seek little one,” his booming voice in complete contrast to Yondalla’s melodic words “it is justice! These creatures should be held accountable under the law of the Free City and their punishment meted by the authorities, not by any individual.”
“I cannot allow any punishment other than that that I give to them.” I replied as defiantly as I dared.
“Then I cannot grant your wish.” Heironeous glowed once more before I was once again thrust into blackness.
I opened my eyes to see the thin, grey dead face of a Doppelganger at the door to the octagonal room. As I watched the face changed, as did the body, and grew shorter and broader before finally becoming the exact image of Grim. The impostor tugged on his beard as I drifted back into unconsciousness.
This time I awoke in familiar surroundings: the bar room of the Feral Dog. The entire place was heaving with joy and merriment. People were singing and laughing and drinking. As I stared at the sight a chair was kicked out in front of me. I turned to the table next to me to see a very stocky looking dwarf with a huge tankard in his hands slouching in the chair opposite. He nodded for me to sit down to which I complied.
“So ye be wanting revenge on yer enemies laddie?” Hanseath queried before downing his drink which was swiftly filled by a passing serving girl. “Ye wish to slay them in battle and celebrate yer victory?”
All I could do was nod.
“Well then laddie” he continued as he lent forward tankard in had “drink this down and I’ll grant ye yer boon.” Hesitantly I reached for the tankard he offered but he kept hold of it as he spoke once more “but remember who granted it to ye. Remember who to offer thanks to as ye celebrate yer victory.”
With that he let go of the tankard which I grasped in both hands. Hesitating no more I lifted the mug to my lips and swallowed the liquid it contained.
As the last of the liquor burned my throat I shot awake to find myself once again manacled to a chair in the octagonal room. This time however the black walls were being sprayed with blood. I turned my head to see Grim, or more precisely two Grims battling each other. One swung his axe which buried itself deep into the chest of the other. Time seemed to stop as the body fell to the floor before it swiftly changed into its true form; that of a thin, grey skinned Doppelganger.
Looking around the room I could see two of everyone and also one other of me. One by one each of the impostors fell and reverted back to their true shape.
It was only then that Grim swung his axe and broke the manacles that had bound me for so long. I instinctively rubbed my wrists to get the blood flowing again that I realised I didn’t need it. In fact, all of my injuries were gone.
My head swirling with thoughts of gods and Doppelgangers the others naturally rushed around me to make sure I was ok. Having reassured them I was fine (Salty in particular seemed concerned) I politely enquired as to what day it was and why it had taken four and a half days for them to get round to finding me (I mean I’d have eventually gotten out but sometimes it’s nice to have a bit of help from ones supposed friends – or are they my friends? What if these are just another load of Doppelgangers and the others were just patsies to make me think that these are the real deal? Better keep my eye out – not sure I can trust any of them – except Grim – I know it’s the real Grim; no one else would ever want to smell that bad even as a disguise).
They told me of how they’d never even missed me (the cheek!) as I had been replaced by a Doppelganger who’d done a good job impersonating me. They said that they’d spent the first day in the counsel chambers drafting up the treaty for the Lizardmen (at least I didn’t have to endure that) and that that night Muffin (I think people are still a bit unsure whether it was the real Muffin or a Doppelganger pretending to be Muffin) had stabbed Tarpaulin in the chest with a dagger and nearly killed him. There was then a fight in which one of the instigators turned out to be more than just a regular. The group chased him down and had him arrested. They then found a strange key in the shape of a ship that was being attacked by some sort of giant squid which seemed to be capsizing it. They said that one of the locals had told them it belonged to a warehouse called Sodden Hold which was down by the waterfront.
So they trotted straight off in the middle of the night to the warehouse, opened it up and were immediately attacked by what they called Mimics which they basically described as boxes with arms. They said that they were so injured after that battle (with the boxes? Wimps!) that they had to rest before continuing. The next day they said that they had fallen prey to a pit trap by a false door (can’t they do anything right without me there to guide them?) before discovering the way into some prison cells where they had found an Elven woman called Ilya Starmane, a madman called Gattan and two supposed city guard called Martel and Rygim whom they let out. The two sane men then turned on the party and people were forced to put them down. However they didn’t finish them off but simply tied them up and put them in a cell. This mistake came to bite them in the bum when, as they were escorting the Elf out, the two men escaped.
Unperturbed by this they continued on only to find themselves faced with an obstacle only I’d have been able to overcome – a series of balance beams over some water that had spears and poles and all manner of spiky things sticking out of it. Instead of risking life and limb by actually trying to traverse the beams they simply bashed their way through a side wall only to find themselves in a room that had a hole in it at the bottom of which was a barrel. At this point they were attacked by two invisible creatures (Muffin thought they were either Air Elementals or creatures called Invisible Stalkers) which they also struggled to overcome. They then decided that it would be a good time to go shopping!!! That’s right, shopping!!! I’m busy being kidnapped and tortured and they go shopping!!!
They then decided, after an obviously heavy day’s trawling through the high street that they would rest… again! During this rest was the first time they encountered some of the Doppelgangers who had been disguised as some of the counsel members, although I’m a bit worried that they attacked counsel members on sight without knowing they were Doppelgangers as they only found out after they died what they really were (that meeting must have been really, really boring).
Eventually they decided to head down into the floating barrel and spotted a tunnel under the water leading off. They then swam like the stones they are and walked along until they came to another room (in which they killed an octopus) that had a pillar in its middle rising out of the water. They climbed out and head into a corridor in which Muffin, Curly, Sneeze and the fake me fell down another trap. Whilst they were escaping from this, Grim and Salty were attacked by Martel and Rygim during which skirmish Salty died (although she is the best looking corpse I’ve seen in a while). Not sure how I feel about Salty dying. I mean I suppose it would have been sad had I known about it before the party got her raised by the priests of Heironeous but I didn’t so to me she hasn’t ever really been dead. It’s a weird feeling.
Anyway my brave band of followers left once again straight after that fight to not only get Salty brought back to life but also to have yet another day out shopping!!! The bloody swines!!!
The only consolation was that people were able to pick up their magicafied weapons.
Anyway, this finally done, they headed back in and into a room full of maps of the city before discovering a maze of mirrors. The carefully made their way through this (killing a few Doppelgangers on the way) before discovering this room and finding me and the fake them.
Having listened patiently to their story two things crossed my mind:
1. Whether they were all lying to me and had in fact spent all of the days since my kidnapping shopping
2. I had missed my chance for the vengeance that Hanseath had promised
I’m still not sure about the first, but my second thought was incorrect.
The group led me into the maze of mirrors and followed the wall to the left (as they said they had done all the way round thus far) until we came across a door. With a deep breath Curly opened it up and we found ourselves in a room the ceiling of which I recognised. The room was full of vats and jars containing all manner of liquids. Near where we entered lay a stone slab that had chains loosely hanging from its sides.
My thoughts were brought back from the past when laughter from the far end of the room echoed through the hall. I turned to see Legless sitting on a throne, a large axe lying next to him and standing in between us were three Doppelgangers.
“So kind of you to join me. it is time for me to show you the truth of things. Come and learn what lies beyond!”
With that he cast a spell and suddenly I became confused as to why I was there. That confusion was suddenly removed as Salty struck me with one of her swords. Now I don’t mind it rough but if that’s her idea of fun, I am definitely not getting involved. Anyway, never one to take that kind of thing lying down I struck back before I heard Grim’s voice issuing soothing words.
Immediately myself and Salty stopped our madness and looked around. Whilst I had been distracted by her antics the fight had progressed somewhat. Sneeze was now up by Legless, Muffin was rolling around the floor, laughing uncontrollably (we’re all happy when one of his spells doesn’t nearly kill us but that seemed a bit extreme to me) and a pit trap in the middle of the floor had been tripped (by Sneeze who had apparently avoided it and it wasn’t the last thing he tripped in this fight). The other thing of note was that the heroic holy warrior of Heironeous had fled the room (he came back later but only when a few of the threats had been neutralised).
Anyway, seeing the three Doppelgangers heading up to the throne to get Sneeze I sprung into action. I ran up behind them and tumbled onto the throne to flank Legless with Sneeze whom the Doppelgangers quickly surrounded. Salty and Grim followed me up and started to lay into Legless’ minions whilst myself and Sneeze went to work on the man himself. I have to say we made a pretty good team with Sneeze sweeping the guy off his feet and me whirling my blades into him as he tried to stand.
Suddenly just as Sneeze once again sent Legless tumbling to the ground he started to change. The transformation was swift and where once lay a human wizard now lay a very large, very angry looking orc. With a roar he snatched up his axe and started to rise. With a roar to match his I plunged both of my blades into his chest as he did. The orc fell back to the ground, this time for good. I had gained my revenge as promised to me.
As I let the feeling of victory wash over me the creature changed once more, back into its original form, only this Doppelganger was slightly different from the others. This one had a tattoo on it’s forehead of a tentacle spiralling upwards.
Unsure of what to make of this we decided to take the body with us, but not before searching this room. Next to the throne we found a secret door that led into a very austere bedroom. Muffin (who had just about recovered from his fit of laughter) cast his spell to detect magic and we discovered that the axe, a ring, a wand and a scroll (all of which we found on the head Doppelganger) along with a rug, mirror and a spell book which we found in the bedroom were all magical.
Using the wand they’d bought they ascertained what all of them did and we pretty much decided to sell everything (even the book after Muffin had robbed everything he could from it) apart from the ring and the mirror which we thought would come in quite useful: it shows the true form of anyone who stands in front of it.
We also found a chest that contained (what we assume are) forged documents regarding almost every facet of city life. In amongst these was a personal note:
“I have a task for you, thrall. Meet me at the sewer junction beneath the cold forge and I will give you the details. There are some troublesome small minds the must be removed.”
So that’s why they took me; he wanted the other “small minds” killed but needed me, the leader and of course most intelligent, alive. Probably thought I would have been an asset to his grand scheme of taking over the Free City… and of course he’d have been right although I’m pretty sure I could have come up with a more persuasive method than kidnapping to procure my talents (that tends to breed a certain amount of animosity and a great lust for vengeance). Maybe that’s what he wanted me for; my people skills.
Anyway, the letter was signed with the same spiralling tentacle symbol that the doppelganger Legless had on his forehead.
It was at this point I realised that my vengeance was not yet completed. This Doppelganger had a boss.
In this room (and the rest of the bedrooms we searched on the way out) we also found a variety of clothing of all types all the way from farmers work clothes to ones that wouldn’t look out of place in the palace. We took the best of these and started to head out.
We got to the room they described with the pillar in the middle but they had omitted to say that the pillar had a lever on it. I decided that it was time to see what the lever did so I got Curly to pull it. Slowly the water level started to lower and as it did, so did the pillar. As we neared the bottom we spotted a passageway. The others swore it wasn’t there before so we armed ourselves for whatever had opened it.
Just before the pillar reached the floor we spotted two what looked like elves with really dark skin and really white hair (some legendary Drow Elves) flanking what looked like a robed human with an octopus for a head.
“Mind Flayer!” Salty shouted. Just as I was wondering what the significance of this was I felt a blast of energy shoot through my mind. When I came around the Drow were dead and the Mind Flayer was nowhere to be seen. Grim said that he’d run down the passage. The others were reluctant to follow (don’t know why I’m surprised; they’d have probably preferred to have gone shopping) but I wasn’t having any of their cowardice, not when my promised payback might lie a mere few feet away.
I led the group down the tunnel but unfortunately it led out into the maze of sewers that ran under the entire city.
Feeling slightly miffed that this Mind Flayer had gotten away we headed back to the pillar room. We grabbed one of the Drow and made our way back up to the Sodden Hold warehouse and out into the city itself.
We headed straight for the temple of Heironeous to drop off the evidence we had (and by evidence I pretty much mean the bodies) before we made a beeline to Legless’ house; for some reason some people thought that he might have been taken over by the Doppelganger we’d killed (pity no one cared enough about me to think that). We arrived and the snotty elf servant answered and almost refused to let us see his master. I think I must be getting tired ‘cause I lost my usual diplomatic demeanour and just came straight out with our suspicions. I might try that approach more often as he immediately trotted off.
Now call me paranoid if you like but I didn’t fully trust that elf so I gulped down a potion of invisibility and followed him up to make sure he was on the level. He was. Moments after I returned to the others Legless came down the stairs. Curly asked if he would be willing to come to the temple of Heironeous and stand in front of the mirror to prove he was who he said he was. He agreed to come along later that evening.
Legless has just left the temple and he was who he said he was.
Before he came I spoke to Grim about my dreams and asked him if he could tell me more about Hanseath and his teachings. He was more than happy to oblige (he’s been trying to convert everyone ever since he met us anyway) and we spent a good few hours talking and drinking. I think I like Hanseath; we’ve got a similar outlook on life.
Anyway that wasn’t the last talk I had with a mentor tonight. Remember way back when I started this diary I said I’d been given a task to perform in Diamond Lake? Well the people who gave me that mission came to see me. They told me that I’d done a good job thus far (although they did say I was in too many songs for their liking. Can i help it if people think I’m a hero?) and that they would induct me fully into the organisation. We spent a few more hours practicing the basic secret techniques that were a hallmark of this organisation before they left with the promise that they would return to see me someday when I needed more training. Before they left they gave me a tiny silver knife with the promise that if I showed this to any Halfling I would receive any shelter or aid I needed.
With that they left and I snuck back to the temple where the rest of my party slept.
Freeday 21st Flocktime 595
The first part of the day was spent shopping (my group’s favourite pastime it would seem). I do have to admit I did place my shortsword in to be upgraded so that it would give off a freezing chill with each blow struck (ready in a weeks time) and, with a loan of some money from Grim, my new religious guru, I managed to get my kukri magicafied.
Speaking of Grim, during lunch he presented me with a silver tankard on a chain – the holy symbol for our god – saying that he had blessed it but that I had to break it in. And so we drank a toast (or four) with our meal before the rest of the group dragged us off to the counsel chambers.
We spent little time at the counsel. We told them of our discovery and presented our evidence (or rather they came to have a look at our evidence) and they seemed genuinely concerned, but I wasn’t sure whether it was genuine or because we’d foiled their plan.
Whilst back at the temple of Heironeous we made two discoveries. Firstly that Curly had a worm crawling about inside him (apparently it won’t do him any harm as he’s immune – a boon from his god) and secondly that we had a lead on the Mind Flayer.
The priests of Heironeous had found a fungus on the bottom of the Drows' feet that was found in only a few specific places. They said that it only grew in places where metal was forged. So then all we had to do was to find somewhere in the Free City that forged metal that had a sewer access. This turned out not to be as tough as I had first thought. One of the counsel members said that one of the biggest and best metallurgists in the city fitted the bill exactly. It was a place called the Cold Forge.
With renewed hope in my heart, we set off to the artisans’ quarter. We found the shop and the access with relative ease and gingerly stepped into the sewer that smelt worse than Grim’s breath (I maybe under his religious guidance but that doesn’t me he suddenly smells of roses – maybe what roses grow in but definitely not the plants themselves).
About fifty yards in Salty let out a girly scream as she is wont to do. At first I thought she’d seen another snake or maybe a rat but the reality was a bit more gruesome. She’d tripped over a dead body which, closer inspection revealed, had a hole in its now hollow head. Salty said that she’d heard tales that Mind Flayers would kill their victims by sucking their brains out (so Curly’s got nothing to worry about).
We moved on, buoyed by the fact that we must be on the right track, a fact that was confirmed when we found a large patch of the fungus (known as Beggars Gold) next to a hole in the sewer wall. Weapons drawn we passed through it and after a few yards found ourselves in a cavern that was filled with all kinds of fungus. As we reached the centre suddenly some of these fungi started to shriek (I still don’t know how – probably another wizard creation). In a panic Salty trod on some other fungus which burst and sprayed the area in a cloud of yellow spores.
Trying not to breathe we left the cloud. As I was about to query our next move I spotted Salty looking decidedly gaunt. I nudged Grim who checked her out. Apparently this yellow fungus was poisonous and had gotten into her system. A spell or two later and Salty was fine.
With instructions to tread more carefully we headed back. Without the cloud of yellow obscuring our view we spotted what was making the shrieking noise: mushrooms. We chopped these down but soon regretted it; they had been drowning out Salty who’d been singing whilst she skewered.
After making her promise to remain quiet, we continued on. Grim called a halt a few feet from a narrow tunnel. He said he could see something black and shiny on the floor in front. Taking no chances we decided to back up and throw an alchemists fire onto whatever it was. I’m quite glad we did ‘cause whatever it was went up in an explosion worse than when Muffin attempts to cast a spell.
After a few minutes the fire died down and Grim determined that it was safe to proceed. Cautiously we headed into the tunnel and our caution was well warranted. Without warning the entire place went dimmer and I felt a slight burning on my left leg. Looking up we spotted four Drow above us just as one threw what looked (and felt) like alchemists fire at us.
Seemingly there was no way for us to get up the ten foot to get into hand to hand with them, that was until I remembered the magic rope that Curly was carrying. Shouting for him to throw it up I ran to where he was and started to climb the already extending cord. Unfortunately the rope didn’t work as quickly as me and I was unable to gain sufficient height to tumble past the dark elves. That was until Grim cast a spell that created a short sharp bang that left our latest foes stunned.
It was then easy for me to get onto the ledge and draw my weapons. Sneeze and Salty followed and it wasn’t long before we had them on the back foot. Sneeze, with a cry more associated with Salty, thrust his palm into one of their chests causing him to fall off the cliff and to the mercy, or distinct lack there of, of the waiting Grim and Curly (that’s a point. Where’s all the compassion gone from Curly? Maybe it’s only trolls he feels empathy for. I’ll have to keep an eye on him from now on. I don’t think he ever stood in front of the mirror either. I’ll have to swap some watches around so that either me or Grim are on with him. I wouldn’t want another doppelganger taking my place again).
The Drow felled we continued on.
Freeday 21st Flocktime 595 cont.
We continued along the tunnel which soon opened up into a cavern that had a pool coving most of its right side. This had been created by what would normally be described as a waterfall but I’ll label a crap-fall since it was cascading from a broken sewer pipe.
As we entered we saw something stir. A big something! A big snake like something! A big snake like something but with a human head and hair that reminded me of that time I was unfortunate to catch sight of Curly coming out of the steam room.
“Who daressss to dissssturb my sssslumber?” it hissed. Not to sound rude but personally if I had problems pronouncing my S’s, I’d try my best to avoid using words with them in. It just made it sound comical. A fact that was exasperated by it then demanding a thousand gp of us for letting us past.
Still chuckling I charged the beast along with Sneeze and Salty although half way there Salty started acting quite strange. She started trying to interpose herself between Sneeze and the beast (called a Naga according to Muffin) saying that it was all a misunderstanding. A second later I caught its gaze and I have to admit I started to feel the same way. I mean anyone who’s funny enough to try and demand money off six well armed and armoured people can’t be all bad. I jumped onto Sneeze’s back to try and pull him away from the beast but he managed to shrug me off before trying to hook his weapon around my legs. Sadly for him I’m not some lowly doppelganger whom he can whip up without a thought and I nimbly dodged away.
I was however feeling a bit peeved that he’d even try that so I decided not to be so nice. Drawing my weapons I moved into attack. Then, as Curly approached, I regained some clarity. It didn’t matter how funny that creature was, it wasn’t worth taking out one of my entourage for. In fact I had the sneaking suspicion that the creature had been using some kind of mind control against me. Mad at it now I started to move to attack it. As I did I spotted Grim charging forward but not at the creature. He looked as if he was heading straight for Curly. Axe raised high and war cry screaming I really thought he was going to cleave Curly’s perm in two but as he neared his intended target he stopped, looked confused for a moment before renewing his cry and charging the naga.
“Stay near me!” Curly cried as we all attacked the beast. Bless him! Poor bloke must have been terrified to have let his emotions get the best of him in the middle of combat and admit he doesn’t like it when he’s left alone.
I was just about to call him a big girls blouse when a huge ball of fire exploded around us. I managed to dive into the water (which I unfortunately remembered too late wasn’t water at all) and avoided the scorching that was inflicted on the others. However this seemed only to fuel the rage we had against it and with almost simultaneous slashes we slew the creature.
Salty was still a bit confused as to why she’d been friendly towards the creature so Muffin explained that it had mind controlling powers. Then she was confused as to how its mind powers had been overcome. It was then that something happened that I never, not in my wildest, wildest most bizarre dreams, though would ever happen; Curly started to explain something to us. So shocked was I that I didn’t catch all of it but apparently he had been granted a power by his patron saint (some guy called Raziel) that helped protect him and those around him from being mentally controlled.
Muffin recovered from his disbelief quickest and cast his detect magic items spell. It turned out that something at the bottom of the pool of sewage was magical. Without a moments hesitation Salty jumped in and swam down to retrieve whatever it was (I think she just wanted to cover herself in the waste like I’d done bless her love struck heart). She came back up with some money and jewels along with a jug. A magic jug! Muffin poked the jug with his wand (not that one, the one that tells us what magic items are!) and told us that it produced smoke. Lots of smoke! In fact it could produce as much smoke as you wanted for as long as you wanted. Bloody wizards!!!
The rest of the cavern was empty apart from the large pillars of rock dotted about so we headed out of the only tunnel leading from the cavern. This led into another larger cavern that had slope that split it into two levels. Sadly we didn’t have time to gawp due to the fact that as soon as we entered we spotted five drow in two defensive lines on the slope behind which stood a female drow in a very curvaceous breast-plate.
Muffin hesitated the least and sent a ball of lightning flying from his fingers which enveloped all of the drow. Sneeze and Curly charged in just as the drow female cast a spell and Salty charged out. We swatted away the first line of defence with ease but nothing, not even the time I’ve spent with Grim, prepared my for the stinking cloud of noxious gas that spewed forth from the drow females mouth.
I moved to the lower part of the cavern and tried to hold in my lunch. As I failed in this task I spotted Salty charging back into the fray only she wasn’t charging at the drow; she was charging at Grim. Just before she struck him, Grim cast a spell and suddenly my stomach settled. With the taste of vomit in my mouth fuelling my every action I swiftly climbed the small cliff to the top half of the cavern and snuck behind the female who was now being attacked by Curly and Sneeze.
I carefully approached her and accurately struck a blow into her lungs. Now normally this would cause horrendous pain to a living creature but this woman stood there and took it as if I’d missed all of her vital organs. It was the same feeling I get when I try to strike undead. This only further angered me and with a flash of blades and hurling of fists the three of us vanquished (I’ve lost count) the evil she-b@*!!.
Whilst Muffin determined if anything was magical or not I took a good look at Salty. That’s two fights in a row she’s tried to help our enemies plus when we were fighting the impostor Legless she struck out at me without provocation. I’m going to have to keep a close eye on her ‘cause to me it’s starting to seem more and more likely that she’s not one of us anymore (if she ever was). Maybe dying has changed her. Maybe she wasn’t raised from the dead but was simply replaced by the so called priests of Heironeous. I mean if Curly’s suddenly become less compassionate than Muffin then maybe they’re preaching something new to him. Maybe they aren’t priests of Heironeous at all. Maybe they’re doppelgangers as well. Or maybe it’s that worm slowly taking control of him. I’m definitely going to have to switch some watches around and I’m definitely going to have to learn some more about these worms. From now on I’ll be going on with Salty and I’ll get Grim to go on with Curly. I’ll just have to trust Sneeze and Muffin to keep an eye on each another.
With that occupying me I left it to the others to search the room. They found that the breast-plate and the morning star the female had were magical and that she was a priestess of the drow god Lolth, the Spider Queen. They also found a small jade statue of a spider and a key.
The only other things in the room were a cage filled with cattle, an iron door and a further tunnel leading off into darkness.
With some people heavily injured and it being late in the day we decided to rest in one of Muffin’s magical rooms which he still insists on creating at the top of a rope (not a problem for me but some of the stuff that come out of Grim’s mouth when he’s trying to climb it… well they’re enough to make a tavern wench blush).
I definitely think there’s something wrong with Salty. She didn’t try and come on to me once during our watch.
Starday 22nd Flocktime 595
With an uneventful night behind us we climbed (or in Curly’s case fell) back to the real world and headed for the iron door. Staring through the keyhole I spotted four rotting corpses just standing there motionless. As one of their heads fell from its axis I saw that it had a large hole in it and the contents removed.
Placing the key in the lock Curly thrust the door open. Immediately (and by immediately I mean quite they started immediately but it took them a while to complete) the zombies shuffled towards us. It was then that Grim stepped forward and raised his tankard towards the undead:
“May Hanseath grant ye peace as ye take this last drink with ye to the afterlife!”
With this he sprayed the creatures with the ale from his holy symbol and as each one was soaked it collapsed under the power of our god (I’ve got to ask him how he can do that). With a knowing wink in my direction, the rotund one entered the room.
Once in the room we spotted huddled in the corner five more figures but these ones were quiet alive. There was a male elf who I was half surprised Muffin didn’t try and get straight into bed like he’s done with pretty much every other elf we’ve met, two human men and two human females. Each one was very grateful (the women especially so to me. I stayed less aloof than I would normally to see if there was any reaction from Salty (still not sure about her) and her mood did darken somewhat and her skin did get the merest of green tinges to its complexion so maybe she’s the real Salty after all) and each told a similar story; they were walking through the city when they were either kidnapped or knocked unconscious. Either way they ended up here being guarded by the zombies that had had their brains sucked out until I came to rescue them with my band of creatures who may as well have had their brains sucked out.
After a brief debate it was decided that we needed to get these folks out of here sooner rather than later so we led them back up to the city and took them to the counsel chambers so that they could be checked out.
We were back within the hour and nothing seemed to have changed so we headed on through the other tunnel leading off the drow cavern. As we turned a bend we spotted something glowing on the floor. On closer inspection it turned out to be a symbol etched in purple. At first we thought it was a magical trap of some sort but Muffin assured us it was simply an illusion. Against my better judgement we believed him and cautiously stepped over the glowing pictogram only for a shower of acid to rain down on us from above. I managed to avoid the splash but Grim, Curly and Muffin weren’t so fortunate. As annoying as it was for something like this to have happened it at least proved one thing; Muffin is definitely Muffin (although some of his later actions have made me change my mind again); Even a doppelganger wouldn’t be able to copy his messed up attempts to kill the party.
Tired of having Thick and Wide blundering over traps at the front of the party, I decided it was time to lead from the front and so with slightly more caution and attention being paid to possible death causing traps, we made our way forward.
With my expert leadership and guidance, we managed to avoid any more traps and the tunnel ended in a small cavern, the most striking feature of which was a set of white marble doors flanked by pillars of the same material. As we entered two things happened: firstly we got a better look at the pillars and saw that they had the spiralling tentacle symbol carved into them and secondly, three creatures slithered from their camouflaged positions and headed to attack us. They seemed to propel themselves using six small tentacles on their underbellies whilst two more, larger tentacles that had what can only be described as huge serrated claws snapping at the end. More fascinating than that however was the one large bulbous eye with a star shaped pupil which started to move in a hypnotic pattern as they approached.
“Octopins!” Salty screamed “Don’t look in their eyes!”
There were two things wrong with this:
1. I’ve never heard of an octopin so the name meant nothing to me
2. What’s the first thing you do when someone tells you not to do something?
So completely against my own will I looked straight into the lead octopin’s bulbous hypnotic eye and suddenly I felt like my limbs go really heavy. I looked around and most of the others seemed to be moving in double speed. I tried to move as quickly as I could but it was still as if the others had been affected by one of Muffin’s haste spells (Muffin would tell me afterwards that it wasn’t they who was moving fast but me who was moving slow).
Whilst I struggled to move into a combat position, Muffin let loose one of his lightning ball spells which damaged the creatures not a jot. Not shocked in the least that one of his spells had been useless, the rest of us proceeded to plough into the creatures. At one point I thought I saw Grim move instantaneously from one side of a creature to the other but I’m guessing it was just part of the slowing affect the eye had one me playing tricks.
With a flying kick, Sneeze slew the last of these creatures. After about a minute suddenly everything became normal again; I could move again with my usual grace and speed.
As we were checking out the door Muffin said that he could cast a spell so that he could see what was in the room beyond. The others, worried that the Mind Flayer might be there, thought it would be a good idea so dubiously I let him. The room Muffin described seemed fairly ordinary; benches with manacles on, a stairway leading down on it’s far side, oh, and a gigantic marble brain with pulsating purple veins at its centre. Muffin also said that the door had been barred from the inside.
Grim, once again showing the awesome power of Hanseath, moulded a hole right through the doors which allowed him to enough room to get his hands through and lift off the obstruction.
We entered the room and it was exactly as Muffin had described. We started to head over towards the brain when suddenly Grim had a dizzy spell. Now this being the first time Grim has experienced this kind of thing without the aid of lots and lots of alcohol and this being our first encounter with a throbbing marble brain was too much of a coincidence for us. Quickly we rushed to the stairs and out of this eerie place.
The foot of the stairs opened out into what looked like a library that had books lining the entire left hand wall. A corridor led off on the far side and there was a door just before it on the right. More interesting than all of that however was the large vat of greenish liquid that sat in the far left hand corner. As we entered the room another octopin climbed out only this one was over twice the size of the others.
Unperturbed by its size myself, Salty and Sneeze charged in as Muffin cast a spell that created a mini storm of hail and sleet that pounded the creature. The creature seemed to take this pretty well but did take particular exception to Salty when she stabbed at it. The octopin grabbed her in both claws and tried to rip her apart. I think it would have succeeded had not myself and Sneeze hit it. It was at this point that I locked eyes with it and everything became heavy once again. This was only for the briefest of moments however as Muffin cast a spell that sped everyone back up to normal again.
Grim, worried that one more hit from this creature would mean the end for Salty, moved up to her and cast a spell (he’d later tell me that it was spell that would stop anyone under its affect being killed through blood loss). As this happened the creature turned its attention to Sneeze and did the same to him as he did to Salty.
With the battle going against us it was decided, unanimously, that the best thing to do would be retreat and regroup. Muffin cast a spell which created a block of ice around the creatures, I want to say feet but am forced to say lower tentacles, that stopped it from following us (for a short time at least) and the three melee combatants started to fall back.
As we neared the safety of the stairs and the awaiting room up a rope that Muffin had once again created, the creature lashed out with its long tentacles and once again grabbed Salty. This time its claws ripped Salty open before flinging her to the ground. At first I thought that she was dead but then I spotted her heart still beating (and by spotted her heart I mean her rib cage had been torn open and I could see the actual heart still trying to pump her blood (which was now sprayed over the entire room) around her disfigured body.
Curly grabbed what should have been a corpse and ascended the rope as did we all. In this room I saw probably the most unbelievable thing I’ve ever witnessed. First Curly laid his hands on her and offered a short prayer to Heironeous whilst Grim prayed to Hanseath. Slowly all the bones and sinew that had been ripped asunder started to knit back together. The gashes became minor cuts and then were eventually unscarred skin. As the final prayer ended Salty opened her eyes and even I have to admit I nearly hugged her (two things stopped me; she might be a doppelganger and if she’s not, I don’t want to encourage her in her fascination with me).
Meanwhile the creature had come to the stairs where the rope had been and seemed to be looking up at us. After a few minutes it went back into the room.
Grim, feeling exceedingly peeved, poked his head out of the invisible room and cast a spell that created a ghostly looking hammer that he proceeded to instruct to batter the creature whilst the rest of us tried to decide what to do. Some people (mainly the spell casters and Salty) wanted to head back to the city whilst I wanted to finish the beast off. Unsurprisingly the others eventually changed to their enigmatic leader’s point of view.
The only choice now was how to do it. Firstly I suggested that Muffin make me invisible and I sneak around the back of it and the others could come down and we could attack on two fronts but the others were obviously too afraid that they may lose me and so they persuaded me not to follow this. After much discussion it was decided that someone should go down there and lure it past us so that the rest could jump down and attack it from behind. The only decision to make then was who. There were a surprising amount of volunteers but it was decided that we should use the most expendable (it wasn’t quite put in those words but everyone knew what the score was): Muffin.
He took it really well and only sobbed for a minute or two before stealing himself and climbing down the rope.
As he landed on the steps, the creature turned and started towards him. Then Muffin showed me something that either proves I’ve been wrong about him all along or proves that he is a doppelganger. Muffin stood his ground. With a look of pure anger and concentration he blasted the monstrosity with the ice block spell once more, freezing it in its tracks. As the creature flailed at its ice shackle Muffin pounded it with tiny dot after tiny dot of magical power (although he can now produce four of them at once which impressed and concerned me). The creature, unable to defend itself from these dots and unable to free itself from its prison writhed in agony as each dot blasted into it but somehow it remained alive. Muffin then seemed to gather up all his remaining energy and, letting out a scream, hurled one last volley into the creature which then matched his cry before slumping to the ground, as did an exhausted Muffin.
With a slight more respect for him than I previously had, I climbed down to see if he (either Muffin or doppelganger Muffin, still haven’t made my mind up and this last display of power and resolve has only served to increase my doubt) was ok. Other than being knackered he said that he was.
Worried that the creature might regenerate we set about chopping it into tiny, tiny pieces. As we did this Muffin took a look at the bookshelves. Most of the books were pretty mundane but there were some that gave blow by blow instructions on how to create these octopins. We decided that such creatures were too powerful and evil to be allowed to exist and the knowledge contained in these books should be destroyed.
The fire we set is probably still burning even now as we sit in the Green Dragon having lunch.
Sunday 23rd Flocktime 595
I now don’t actually care whether Muffin is a doppelganger or not, all I care about is the fact that the new Muffin is far better than the old one, but more on that later.
Yesterday afternoon was spent by everyone performing their favourite pastime. For Muffin, Salty, Curly and Sneeze that meant shopping, for me and Grim that meant drinking (hence why I didn’t, or more precisely couldn’t, write about it last night).
Woke up this morning and I think I must have still been drunk as when it was suggested that we go back into the octopin lair it didn’t sound all that bad an idea and before I realised exactly what was going on, there we were in the burned out library heading through the door on its right hand side.
Fortunately this just seemed to be the bathroom as all it had in it was a large round pool that seemed to glow slightly blue beyond which was a balcony which overlooked a high chamber. Below and to the right of the balcony sat another pool but this one glowed green. Towering above this was a black pillar that had symbols glowing in green running up its entire length. To the right of that was a door and opposite that was a tunnel that disappeared into the darkness.
Whilst I was marvelling at the décor in the other room, Muffin exclaimed that he’d found something out about the bath in this one. He said it was a scrying pool. He said when he’d first looked in it, it was focussed on the cavern that had the shrieking mushrooms in. He also said that he could focus it anywhere he’d actually been, even Diamond Lake. Sadly he couldn’t use it for anything useful like scrying ahead to places we haven’t been yet and the only other useful thing I could think of would be to scry into Tira’s bedroom (but then again, there’s no way he’s ever been in there – wonder if I can use it? Definitely worth a try).
The fascination of the pool soon wore off and we left this room and headed along the tunnel which opened up into one of the most bizarre sights I’d ever seen since Grim pointed out what he considered a lovely piece of dwarven totty; or as he put it “That there is one fine, stocky lass! Got nice broad shoulders that one! I’d love to tangle beards with her!” Just the thought sends shivers down my spine. Agggghhhhhhh! Now I’ve got a visual! Get out of my brain! Get out!
Where was I? Oh yeah, the room. It seemed like a museum for the twisted and deranged so naturally Muffin was extremely interested. Cases filled with heads of all kinds, strange books (even one that was chained up) and weapons lined the walls with the exception of a door. The centre piece of this macabre display was a large statue of a kind of bird-man hybrid that Muffin said was a Vrock.
Muffin cast a spell to see what was magical and it turned out that some of the weapons, a book and a figurine of a griffin were all magical although Curly said that he sensed that the dagger had an evil taint to it. Other things of note were the head of a black dragon with glowing green eyes, a statue of a pseudo-dragon (which Grim reckoned must be an actual pseudo-dragon that had been petrified as there weren’t any tool marks on it to speak of) and (more interestingly) a doll that had the likeness of Curly with about twenty pins sticking out of it. Sadly nothing happened to Curly when we poked it (could have had a lot of fun with that).
Feeling a distinct unease about this whole room I was about to suggest we leave everything for now and move on when Muffin decided to pick up one of the books. Suddenly the large, what was previously, statue of the vrock sprung to life and released some spores along with an ear piercing screech both of which burst over us. Sadly for it, the spores and screeching only served to irritate us all and in a matter of seconds it was lying dead in a pool of its own blood.
Sadly Muffin hadn’t paid any heed to this incident and decided to pick up one of the books (again) and started to read it. As he turned the first page he almost fell over (he said it was because he was overcome with dizziness but personally I think he’d had a sniff of Grims clothes). He said that he’d felt as if his mind was being sucked out of his head by the book (must be a very small book).
With everyone now more amenable to my suggestion that we leave all this for now and come back to it when we had a more informed person with us, we headed through the door. The corridor this opened onto was a quite impressive fresco that depicted the mind-flayers conquering the world and enslaving all the creatures to their will. I’m not sure about the others but all this did was strengthen my resolve to slay this creature and any of its kind.
Steel now both in hands and minds, we marched on and came to the large cavern with the black pillar that we’d seen from the balcony only now from the shadows directly underneath the balcony floated the object of my vengeance.
“You dare enter my sanctum! Fools! I shall finish what Telakin could not.” (did we meet anyone called Telakin? It's hard to remember, we kill that many people) “Your weak minds” (obviously Curly) “shall be a sumptuous feast, your terror a pleasing garnish.”
His tirade ended as two more of the smaller octopins emerged from the pool below him and advanced on us.
As the mind-flayer raised his hands and gestured towards his pets they suddenly sped up their progress towards us. This only served to quicken their deaths as we tore into them. Muffin sent a ball of flame erupting through the cavern which encompassed our three foes but the mind-flayer seemed to simply laugh off the spell as if he’d been nowhere near it.
Grim began chanting to Hanseath and suddenly I felt a surge of energy which I put to great effect slicing into the two octopins. All the while however the mind-flayer floated there above us, laughing off the effects of every spell that Muffin cast at him. With his pets almost dead the mind-flayer decided to sacrifice them in order to strike out at all of us. He pulled out a small globe and threw it at the centre of our group. On impact the globe burst into a ball of flame which I managed to avoid.
With the appetiser out of the way, I was ready for the main course but unfortunately so was the mind-flayer. As I readied my sling he sent a blast of energy (like he’d done on our first meeting) that encompassed us all. Things after that are a bit of a blur but I’ll try my best to tell you what happened. I heard a clatter of steel on stone and realised that I’d dropped my weapons. Then I thought I could see Sneeze, Curly and Muffin moving around but then I think Sneeze and Curly stopped and Muffin ran past me down the corridor. Then I was covered in a thick mass of spiders webs and moments later I thought I saw the mind-flayer trying to suck on Sneeze who was trying to fend him off.
I’m not sure how long I was in that stunned state for but all of a sudden my mind was clear once more. I tried to break free of the web but it had too firm a grip on me. That was until it totally disappeared. A quick glance around revealed that everyone was still alive (although I couldn’t see Muffin) and that the mind-flayer was still floating half way up the room. Also above him lay a mass of the thick webs that had encompassed me previously.
I swiftly picked up my sling and bullets and tried to space myself as far way from people as I could so as to limit who the creature could get in his stunning blast should he try it again. As I pelted it with bullets, Curly and Salty drew their bows and Sneeze simply punched thin air (later he’d tell us that Grim had told him to attack as if the mind-flayer was standing next to him but personally I think that he was still suffering the effects of the mind-flayers blast).
With the three of us pelting the creature with missiles the mind-flayer let out scream after agonising scream of pain until I struck it with a final blow right in its tentacled mush at which point it cried no more and fell into the pool.
As this happened the webs covering the room disappeared and Muffin looked down on us from the balcony (not a deserter after all) a smile on his face that didn’t quite reach his eyes.
We went over to the body to fish it out of the pool and noticed that there were lots and lots of what looked like tadpoles swimming about. We all glanced briefly at each other before in a wave of fury and relief we stamped on what we could only assume would be octopin spawn.
With the spray of the last splash still in the air, Muffin used one of the few remaining spells he had left (he said he had spent the rest trying to stall the mind-flayer as the rest of us had succumbed to his stunning blast so technically I suppose we all owe our lives to Muffin – although I guess I’ll just take this one away from the countless times I’ve saved his hide) to determine if anything was magical. Amongst the items was a cloak that provided resistance to spells and the like which the group gave to me (obviously scared that I’ll die on them).
Next to the black pillar was a door which led into a very plush bedroom come office. In here we found some money and gems but more interestingly a book written in undercommon. Grim cast a spell that would allow him to read it and he said that it was a ledger of transactions that this mind-flayer had had with prominent citizens. One entry specifically caught our attention. A man called Loris Raknian, who just happens to be the director of the Free City Arena, had had several transactions including one for something called the Apostolic Scrolls coupled with the assassination of me and my group.
We gathered up the evidence (along with the items from the museum of the macabre) and headed back to the temple of Heironious to gather our thoughts and determine our next move.
Sunday 23rd Flocktime 595 cont.
We gave the priests of Heironious the items we’d found so they could determine whether or not they were cursed. It turns out that all of the stuff we’d found in the room with the vrock in (other than the petrified pseudo-dragon which they turned back to flesh) were, so we allowed them to destroy them. I think Muffin tried to negotiate with the pseudo-dragon (apparently called Animun) regarding it becoming his familiar (not sure why anyone would want to become more familiar with Muffin. Personally the less I know him the better I like him).
Whilst they did that we headed off to the counsel chambers to pass on the proof we’d found in the mind-flayers lair. The counsel seemed fairly pleased and even coughed up the reward they promised us; a whole thousand gold each. They were slightly less enamoured when we made a point of, well pointing out who’d actually hired the mind-flayer to kill us. The moment we uttered the name Doris Lightboobs, their attitude change from the pleasure that only comes from knowing that the city that you’re supposed to be running has been saved (again) by the only band of adventurers with a leader brave enough to take the job on, to one that only comes from being caught wearing nothing but a single sock by your mum on your thirteenth birthday; a mixture of horror, surprise and embarrassment coupled with a desperate desire for a hill giant to pass by, pick you up and swallow you whole… not that I know how that feels.
It turns out that this guy Lightboobs is not only extremely well thought of by pretty much everyone, but has a huge amount of influence in the city. In other words he’s got dirt on all of the counsel so they ain’t doing diddley-squat to stop him. Their official line was that they couldn’t trust the mad scratchings of a psychotic mind-flayer who had been trying to overthrow the city using his minions of doppelgangers. I have to admit I do see their point, even if the others couldn’t. Oh don’t get me wrong; he’s still going to die in the worst possible way, I just understand why the counsel won’t lift a finger to help.
Anyway, with the counsel tight-lipped about our would be killer, we decided to go and see Legless to see if he could tell us more. On the way we had to (of course) drag Muffin and Salty away every shop we passed (although we did stop off to sell stuff and drop some weapons in to be upgraded). When we got to Legless’ his elven servant thanked us for our prompt response to the invitation his master had sent. Having not been back to the Crooked House for a while we knew of no such invitation but hey, we took the complement and went upstairs where Legless was waiting with a table of food that was befitting for the heroes of the Free City.
After dinner we listened as Legless spouted off the information he’d found out about the items we’d bought him. He said that some of them weren’t related to the Age of Worms (a time when people can eat and eat and eat and never put on any weight) but some of them obviously were. From his research he said he’d found out that Kyuss was a minor deity that only had a small following. He said that their cults usually only consisted of one priest who often was a well thought of member of society. He said that from his research he’d discovered that the cult was becoming vastly more active (really? I’d never of known!) preparing for the coming of the prophecy known as the Age of Worms.
Legless said he’d tried to find out more about the Age of Worms but could only find references in his books about other books which had writings about it; books like the Necronomicon, The Libris Mortis and (more relevantly) the Apostolic Scrolls.
We told him about the Lightboobs/mind-flayer transaction and he became concerned. He said that the scrolls were said to have been written by Kyuss himself and contained the prophecy along with various spells and arcane rituals in the making of uber undead and specifically something called the Ulgurstasta, a type of undead that eats the living and regurgitates them as undead. He said that if Lightboobs had these scrolls then it was likely that he was a member of this cult (I wish I was as smart as him, I’d have never figured that out).
We asked about Lightboobs but Legless said he didn’t know much other than he was a fairly reclusive person, but a very powerful one. He apparently has a lot of support from the populace due to the Champions Games he puts on each year as well as having a lot of powerful people owing him favours (comes in handy when it’s discovered that you’re the high priest of an evil cult bent on world destruction). Other than that he couldn’t tell us anything but he did say he had a friend who might be able to give us more information about him, some woman named Celeste, as she acted as an agent for the various licensees that could enter teams into the games. Legless said he’d arrange for her to meet us at the Crooked House tomorrow.
Having to be satisfied with that we left and headed for the nearest inn where Grim further inducted me into the care of Hanseath by getting me plastered.
Moonday 24th Flocktime 595
I feel a bit sorry for Grim now. After all the times I booted him to wake him up after a nights boozing I experienced it for the first time this morning as Sneeze kicked me awake (I guess I should be glad he didn’t kill me with the blow). It wasn’t the most pleasant morning call I’d experienced.
Anyway, after breakfast we headed over to the Crooked House (we’ve still got rooms there but after the incident with the doppelgangers and with someone still out to kill us we thought it best to stay somewhere else) and waited for Moony to show up, which she did around lunchtime. She wasn’t alone however. With her was a man with a lute hung over one shoulder whom she introduced as Ekaym Smallcask (I tried not to laugh but I’m only Halfling. I wonder if the old “by name, by nature” adage applies?).
Almost before we could say a word Moony starts telling us how Tinyknob was one of the licensees who was currently looking for a group to enter into the games and how Legless had told her that we might be interested. It was at this point I interrupted and informed her that there had been some crossed wires and that we weren’t interested in entering the games but simply wanted some more information about Doris Lightboobs.
She seemed a bit surprised at this but told us the little about him that she did know. She reiterated that he was a recluse who spent most of his time in his palace which is attached to the city arena. He has his own personal guard which numbered around thirty the captain of whom is someone who was never seen and rarely talked about (she knew nothing of him). The only time she’d ever seen him was at the pre-game dinner that was held every year on the eve of the games for the gladiators that were entering that year’s tournament.
Tinyknob then saw an opportunity to turn the conversation back around to us entering the tournament under his management as this would be the only way we’d possibly get to meet Lightboobs (we hadn’t told him why we wanted to meet him so I guess his enthusiasm wasn’t overly stupid). We indulged him just to see if there was anyway we could use entering the tournament to our advantage.
Tinyknob said that all the gladiators were housed in a cavern called a Coenoby throughout the five days of the tournament. The only time a group could leave this cavern is when they were fighting or when they were knocked out. Security around the coenoby was directly correlated to how many gladiators remained (so lots on the first day and dwindling throughout the tournament). The five days broke down as follows:
Day 1: Six, four team elimination matches
Day 2: Rest for the gladiators with some entertainment for the crowd
Day3: Three group on group elimination matches
Day 4: One group on group elimination match and one group on monster fight (usually the easier of the two)
Day 5: The final battle between the two remaining groups (or monster if it killed the other group, although I’m not sure what the monster would do with the prize money)
All of the battles would be overseen by an incorruptible referee called Talavir Welik. The prize-money increased over the rounds to the point that if you won you would get a total of thirty-seven thousand gold (of which Tinyknob would of course take a share). You could also bet on yourself but each bet was limited to five hundred gold and the best odds you could get were three-one.
With the explanation done we asked for some time to discuss the proposal. It didn’t take too long (although Grim really wanted to enter and get the prize for winning the second round which, along with the money, was a silver statue of a dwarf) for the flies to decide not to go into the web of the spider that had previously sent some wasps out to try and kill them on its behalf.
I didn’t want to turn the guy down flat (I mean he’s obviously desperate – three days to go till the games and he still hasn’t found anyone to enter for him. Plus if there’s a way to get to Lightboobs from the coenoby then it’s an option worth considering) so we called them back over and said that we’re not interested at this point but if he hadn’t found anyone before the pre-game dinner, we might be persuaded to do it. He looked duly disappointed.
Wanting to find out more about this coenoby, I knew there was one person I could ask who was certain to know because (as he’ll remind anyone within earshot) he won the damn tournament last year. Orc-dropping wasn’t hard to locate (I just followed the strongest dung smell I could detect). When Grim and I found him he was busy getting drunk in a bar and trying to impress the ladies with talk of his adventures. I tried to bite my tongue but failed miserably and just had to tell the story of how he and his group couldn’t finish off a lair of trolls and how me and my group had to do it for them.
That disbursed the group around him somewhat and got me his undivided attention. I tried to smooth things over by buying him a drink before grilling him about the coenoby. He didn’t say much only that it was a cavern with various alcoves for each team. It had a small stream which gathered into a pool in one corner and a blocked off tunnel in another. There was only one entrance and that was guarded throughout the tournament to ensure that none of the gladiators were able to leave.
I then asked him if he’d spoken to Lightboobs at all and he told us that our nemesis had won the tournament years ago and was reputed to have slain a ghoul nest that had been located down the blocked off tunnel but that was all he knew.
We traded insults for a while (well when I say trade, he called me short (original!) and I ripped him to pieces causing him to storm off in a huff. As he did so I gave one last parting shot about how no matter how much he begged there was no way I was going to take over the captaincy of his team) before we headed back to the others who for once hadn’t been shopping.
Muffin had started to scry out Lightboobs palace but hadn’t found anything out of the ordinary other than they hadn’t spotted Lightboobs himself. Salty and Sneeze had taken a walk by the house and discovered that the house was indeed guarded by Lightboobs own personal army which seemed to be divided into three distinct ranks; blue tabards (lowest of the low), blue cloaks (a bit higher) and purple cloaks (the guys in charge).
With them having come up with nothing I felt rather smug telling them that I’d found an alternate way in (yes, for the first time Orc-dropping had said something useful). I told them about the stream and pool that were in the coenoby and then had to explain that the water must be coming from somewhere and then further explain to Curly that there was a small river that ran right past the arena that the water probably came from and that we could find a way in through it.
With all that done we waited until the middle of the night before we headed on down to a part of the river upstream from the arena. Knowing that this mission would be dangerous and possibly involve traversing some pretty small passages I decided that it would be best that I head in alone. The only problem with this was that I had to endure minutes of people casting various spells on me so that I could breathe underwater, become invisible, see in the dark and one so that Muffin could see exactly what I saw (this baffled me a bit but he said it had something to do with when I found a suitable entrance point he could transport us there).
This done I plunged into the dark (and bloody freezing – no-one thought to cast a spell that’d keep me nice and warm did they?) waters and started my hunt. It didn’t take to long to find a small side stream off that looked like it headed towards the arena. I followed this stream for what seemed like ages, heading towards the arena as best I could when it forked (which it did several times), before eventually coming across a part of it that was filled with, well I don’t really want to think what it was filled with so lets just say it was really mucky.
Despite being able to breathe the water I held my breath and swam in. I emerged out of the water at the bottom of what must have been a garbage chute. Steeling myself against the smell, I began the perilous climb to the top and cautiously poked my head over the small ledge at the top. I was in a small circular room that had one corridor to the east. Beyond this corridor I could see three shuffling skeletal figures that seemed to have lots of tiny worms slithering all over them. I felt a wave of fear wash over me but it was as water washing over a duck.
Despite that and my desperate desire to destroy these (what were obviously) spawn of Kyuss, I thought better of it and climbed back down to the water and, my mission successfully completed, made my way back to the others. I was all for going in straight away but the spell-casters moaned that they’d expended too much energy in ensuring my safety for it to be a good idea and that we should wait until tomorrow. Begrudgingly I agreed and so we headed off to another random tavern to waste the night.
Godsday 25th Flocktime 595
It turns out Muffin is Muffin after all. His so called spell which could transport us all into the room I’d seen in fact couldn’t. It could only take some of us. What this means is that the rest of us (namely myself, Sneeze and Salty) are going to have to swim in, which in turn means that we can’t until later tonight after it goes dark as three people swimming in the river is likely to cause some attention, especially when they don’t resurface, which means that we’re having to waste the day doing nothing. We can’t even really drink (not properly anyway) as we have to be at our sharpest for our infiltration later (although I’m not sure Grim even begins to function until he’s got about five tankards down him).
Anyway, we wiled away the day until dusk fell when we headed for a secluded part of the river near to our destination and the three swimmers jumped in. I led Sneeze and Salty up to the chute where we extended up our magical rope and all made our way to the top. As we arrived Muffin, who’d cast that spell so he could see what I was seeing again, opened his magical door and he, Grim and Curly appeared in the room.
As we climbed out the pit the spawn of Kyuss shuffled along the narrow corridor towards us and right into a bolt of electricity that Muffin sent shooting through them. The three undead burst apart almost showering us in a spray of worms (I think one landed on Curly but he just flicked it off).
We headed along the corridor which opened out into a fairly small room with three empty coffins in it and a corridor off which brought us to a door. We did the normal checks (traps, evil etc.) and Curly said he sensed some strong evil behind the door. We readied ourselves and Curly opened the door to reveal what looked like an old warrior training room (it had combat dummies that were falling apart and some broken mechanical devices scattered about it and a holy symbol of Kord emblazoned on the far wall) the current inhabitants of which looked like they hadn’t been training in a good long while. Along with six spawn of Kyuss stood another skeletal figure but this one had no worms. Instead we could see its viscera which writhed in its torso. It licked where its lips would have been with its long spiked tongue as we entered.
Muffin once again ruined the fight for everyone by exploding a ball of lightning in the room which took out all of the Kyuss spawn leaving only the (what Grim recognised as a) Morhg. Salty tumbled passed everyone and managed to get herself into a flanking position only for the morhg to lick her. As it did, Salty became paralysed (probably not the first time the touch of someone’s tongue has rendered her helpless) and this momentary distraction was all that Curly needed to slay the creature.
We searched this room for the few minutes it took Salty to regain her composure but there wasn’t anything worth salvaging. We went to the double doors that were on the north of this chamber and went through them into a short corridor which ended in another set. We were about to go straight through when Curly stopped us saying he sensed an overwhelming evil in the room beyond.
Grim and Muffin hastily cast some preparatory spells before we charged in.
Godsday 25th Flocktime 595 cont.
The most striking thing about this room other than the large alter with a set of scrolls that were glowing green and shooting off a beam the same colour into a set of stone doors opposite them was the rotund cleric kneeling in prayer. I double checked to make sure that Grim was actually still with us and hadn’t somehow transported himself in front. He hadn’t, a fact that was confirmed by two things; the being before us had a set of small horns that identified him as one of those flingy things we met in the temple of Hextor and its holy symbol wasn’t nearly as conducive to drinking as ours. Nope, this cleric wore the hooded, worm infested skull that I recognised as a symbol of Kyuss (Grim, along with trying to show me how to harness the energy around me to repel undead has also been schooling me on recognition of the symbols of the other faiths).
Anyway, all of the above was enough for me as I charged in and stabbed into him as he tried to stand. I was quickly followed by Sneeze who slammed a fist across his jaw just before Muffin shot his piercing beam of sound through him. This reeled our foe but not quite enough. He uttered a single word and suddenly he disappeared. Grim quickly cast a spell and said that the fling was no longer in the room.
As the others checked out the double doors opposite the scrolls and the single door to the north, I checked out the scrolls themselves. Unfortunately they were written in a language that I couldn’t understand (later identified as Abyssal).
Curly said that he sensed a strong evil behind the double doors so without further ado he pushed them open to reveal a short corridor that ended in a block of stone with the most disturbing thing I’ve ever seen (well apart from the time that Grim forgot to lock the door on the lav) carved into it; it was covered in worm infested corpses that almost seemed to writhe at the centre of which was the worm ridden skull that is the unholy symbol of Kyuss. The beam of light bathed this in the same green light as it had the doors, although when Curly (who’d determined that the block itself was emanating evil) closed the other double doors behind us they didn’t stop the beam which begs the thought, does this block stop it?
With no apparent way of easily getting past the evil block of doom, we headed back to the scroll room and took a closer look at the scrolls. After a few minutes scrutinising them Muffin said that they were under the affect of a spell that meant that they wouldn’t be subject to the passage of time. However he wasn’t sure whether it was restricted to just the scrolls or anyone touching the scrolls. After this assurance we decided to leave them where they were for the time being and headed for the smaller door.
Beyond this door was what looked like a bedroom the striking feature of which was a pillar rising to the ceiling in the design of a huge worm. Oh yeah and a female zombie that had a strange resemblance to Tinyknob that Grim nonchalantly threw a pitcher of ale over causing it to collapse even more lifelessly to the floor.
We had a quick search of the room which turned up a chest that was, unsurprisingly, magically trapped. The chest itself had a strange design; worms (of course) were a main feature but intermingled with them were what looked like people almost made out of worms trapped inside some kind of box. Now normally I’d have just disarmed the trap, flipped the lid and got the loot but the rest of them were worried that something might happen to their guiding light so I decided to leave it for now.
The room had one other exit from it which led us to a room that had a pit in the far right corner and a tartan curtain obscuring the left. Curly, obviously wanting to let some natural light in, yanked back the curtain to reveal three things, the most important of which was what looked like a large human shaped sack of yellowy viscous liquid that immediately breathed out a mist that smelled so bad it made me long for the cold winter nights when I was forced to cuddle up to Lavender for warmth.
Not wanting to get my vomit all over, well, pretty much everyone, I left the area and quietly retched in the first place I deemed appropriate: the bed. I was soon joined by Salty and a few moments later the others joined us saying that the creature had teleported away.
Just as I wiped the last vestige of sick from my mouth a door beyond the room that had housed (what I’m reliably informed was) the Alkilith demon opened and out strode the flingy cleric of Kyuss, but somehow he looked different.
The taste of puke in my mouth had got my adrenaline going and so with rage powering me, I charged forward. As I got closer I spotted that the cleric looked as though he was made of stone, a fact that was confirmed when my first attack bounced of his skin with the ring of metal on rock. Curly and Sneeze joined me but we struggled to penetrate his new natural-magical (natical, magural?) protection.
Salty (who for some reason has taken to dancing her way through a battle) managed to slip in behind the golem like cleric, the distraction of which opened up a lot of very nice targets for me to strike at. For some reason the fling took offence to this and, summoning up all the magical energy he had left uttered words of power as he grabbed my shoulder. By Hanseath I swear the pain was worse than that night I had to listen to Shrub-beard and Curly talk about their childhoods. It felt like all the wounds I’d ever suffered were being revisited upon me all at once.
I staggered back and hastily reached for a potion of healing which I swallowed as Grim used the power of Hanseath to further cure my wounds. Still hurt but, even angrier, I jumped straight back into the combat slashing through the protection almost as if it wasn’t there. Sadly the others were struggling to even make a scratch so it came as no surprise when the priest raised his glowing club and bludgeoned me across my head nearly decapitating me. This action did have one positive outcome; everyone else (obviously motivated by the fear of my death) actually started putting some aggression into their blows. Even Curly managed to look a bit annoyed and it was his swing that finally put paid to the demon.
As the rage left me, so the true extent of my injuries became apparent to me and everyone else as I almost collapsed to the ground. Grim frantically called on the power of our god and managed to stabilise me enough so that our healing wand would have time to finish the job.
Whilst this was going on the others, having searched the cleric and found several magic items along with a set of keys, returned to the bedroom and tried to open the chest. Muffin created a magical hand that he then controlled to test all the keys. Eventually he found the right one but the hand wasn’t strong enough to open the lid. Knowing it was still magically trapped we attached a grappling hook to the lid and tried to pull it open from a distance but something was keeping the lid firmly shut.
Too exhausted to be too bothered by this we headed back to the room we’d fought the morhg in and barricaded ourselves in. This decision almost came back to bite us in the proverbials when during mine and Muffin’s watch we started to notice a foul smelling green gas emanating, no not from Grim, but from through the double doors. We sounded the alarm (ok, Muffin screamed like a little girl), as the gas gathered itself together and reformed into the mass of yellow goop that was the alkilith demon. Myself and Salty charged in but the demons skin seemed to simply bend under the weight of our blows absorbing the strikes. Muffin, either because he was out of spells or simply returning to his natural born cowardly state, started to un-barricade the other door in the room in a desperate attempt to get out (although where he was intending to go I’ve no idea ‘cause the only thing that door led to was the pit into the stream. Maybe he planned on drowning himself. Not sure whether or not that’s preferable to being dissolved in acid or not; hopefully I’ll never have to find out).
At our lowest ebb an unlikely hero arrived. Ok, it wasn’t as unlikely as the time that Muffin saved us from the grick… or the time that Salty slew the otiug… or when Sneeze battered the ebon demon… or when Grim… ok, considering who was there, I guess it wasn’t that surprising. Curly stepped up and started hewing into the demon. The demon, who (sadly) wasn’t going to take this lying down, reached out and touched Curly. It was weird but Curly seemed to lose some of the power in his blows, and when the demon touched him a second time he became even more useless.
Knowing that (depressingly) he was our best hope of defeating this creature I decided to stop attacking the creature and start distracting it. I moved myself next to Curly and started directing my blows in a way that would manoeuvre the creature into a better position for our holy warrior to strike at. Salty (I don’t seem to be able to rid her of this infatuation with me) soon joined me and between us we managed to open the demon up perfectly for Curly to strike. It was an opportunity he didn’t think twice (although that would imply that Curly could actually think more than once about any one thing) about taking. With a brief prayer to Heironeous Curly plunged his blade into the belly of the demon which seemed to hold its shape for a brief second before dissolving away into a pool of liquid which quickly evaporated into a yellow gas which dissipated.
Each one of us collapsed to the floor (well except Muffin who simply started to re-barricade the door he’d been working on) and, I at least, with no heed to placing any further watches, fell into a coma like sleep.
Waterday 26th Flocktime 595
The others spent the morning searching around the complex and trying to find a way into the chest. Regarding the latter, Muffin quickly got pissed off and sent a large bolt of sound into its side almost completely obliterating it. Fortunately the contents were unharmed although there wasn’t too much to speak of: some money, a few potions and some other stuff.
Regarding the former they managed to find two secret doors; one which led onto a corridor which led to another secret door which led into a wine cellar that Muffin identified as Lightboobs’ (he’d seen it when he’d scried the house), the other led to some stairs which we decided to investigate later.
I spent the morning trying to make a copy of the scrolls (not sure how successful I’ve been – it’s hard when you don’t understand the language) as no one seems willing to touch them. Grim apparently has a spell that would allow him to understand them but he’s unwilling to cast it as it would involve him touching the scrolls which he’s worried will cause him to be enchanted by the same spell that was stopping the scrolls from aging (although for someone with as few remaining years left as he looks as though he’s got, I’m thinking that it might not be a bad idea). He said that if I wanted to read them so bad I could buy a potion that would do it for me. I think I’m going to ‘cause these scrolls, from all accounts, detail a lot of stuff to do with the worms and will probably hold the key to saving the world, but apparently I’m the only one interested in that.
We met up for lunch and decided to try and get into the one place we hadn’t been; past the block of doom. Muffin cast that spell that allows him to see beyond an obstacle and described a circular room with not much in it apart from a huge worm laying on a nest of humanoid bones; an Ulgurstasta! He also spotted a small pipe that led out in the direction of one of the rooms we’d been in. Further investigation showed us that we now did have a way into the room. Sadly, I was the only one who could fit.
Waterday 26th Flocktime 595 cont.
Muffin took this as an opportunity to suggest a shopping trip. He claimed it was to buy more potions that could turn people gaseous but personally I think he’s trying to slake his cravings. We decided that whilst he was out there he may as well make himself useful and sell the stuff we’d found as well. We figured we’d only need a couple of potions as Muffin would be able to transport himself, Grim and Curly in and I could squeeze through the pipe leaving only Salty and Sneeze needing the potions. I also asked him to buy me that potion that would enable me to read the scrolls. If no one else is willing to do it then I guess I’m going to have to.
A few hours later (Hanseath knows what he’s been doing) Muffin returned saying that he’d sold everything but the three potions we’d found in the chest. The shop keeper had said that there were worms in them. On closer inspection we discovered that they were the green worms that infest the spawn of Kyuss.
When I suggested that we go in straight away, the blue haired wimp started complaining that he didn’t have enough spell casting ability to help combat the worm effectively (I must be missing his point) and that we should wait until tomorrow before we attempted any kind of strike. Personally I was up for going in right then and there (especially as the creature seemed to be growing in size and strength at a rate that was almost visible to the naked eye) but the others seemed to think that Muffin was right.
I’m not sure I understand these people anymore. I thought they were meant to be heroes. I thought they were meant to be loyal and faithful if not to me or the group then at least to their gods. Even Curly, the “mighty” warrior of Heironeous; does he have such little faith, such little conviction in what we’re doing that he wants to wait until it’s possibly too late? If he cannot show confidence in his beliefs and what we’re doing then how can I expect the others to do so? I thought we were trying to stop not only our assassin but the leader of a deadly evil cult that pay homage to the undead, the champion of which seemed to be resting, and growing in power even as I write.
But as much as I am disappointed with them, I’m almost ashamed of Grim. How can I follow the teachings of a man whose faith seems less than my own? The strength of my belief seems to have outgrown his. I will forever be thankful for his teachings but maybe it’s time that I started to find my own way in our worship of Hanseath.
Earthday 27th Flocktime 595
The games start today. Grim seemed a bit peeved that he won’t get the chance to compete but I believe this to be but a small punishment for his lack of conviction.
I awoke early and roused everyone. I was anxious that we defeat this creature as soon as possible and, despite the unnecessary complaints about if they were going to die they should do it on a full stomach (yet another show of their lack of faith), forced the issue before breakfast.
I crawled to the end of the pipe and waited for Muffin to transport himself and the two religious warriors past the block only to be called back as Muffin had been unable to penetrate the room. He said that the effect was much like a magical wall of energy that seemed to be surrounding the room. I went back to the end of the pipe and sure enough there was an invisible barrier blocking the end.
Struggling for ideas Grim said that he could ask Hanseath for a divination about what we should do. It seems that his faith may still be pure as Hanseath deemed him worthy of a response. Our god informed us that we could weaken the magical energy surrounding the block by a show of faith but there could be consequences if our conviction was lacking.
At this myself, Grim and Curly stepped towards the door. We held aloft our holy symbols and, as Grim had taught me, I started to try and channel the positive energy that surrounds every living thing through me and towards our obstacle. At first there was nothing but suddenly a rush of power surged through me. I could almost feel the touch of Hanseath on me and I have to admit, the shock made me falter.
As suddenly as it had appeared, the power left me and with it seemed to take some of my energy; my punishment for failing. Grim read a spell of a scroll that returned my full strength and with it a renewed determination. Once more I stepped up flanked on either side by Curly and Grim and once more I lifted my tankard towards the worm carved blockade. Once more I felt the energy. Once more the hand of Hanseath touched me; but this time I was prepared. This time I could focus. This time I did not keep the energy in me too long, for the touch of a god is too much for anyone to bear. This time I channelled the energy through me and out of my holy symbol and directed it to its target. This time my faith was rewarded and the green beam of energy faded into almost nothing.
At this point, with the magical essence weakened, Muffin cast his spell to dispel the magic and suddenly the block disappeared leaving only the room beyond and the now stirring undead worm.
Muffin sent a ball of fire exploding into the room which only served to anger the beast. It reared up to its monstrous full height and struck out like a viper and caught me in its mouth. I stabbed my dagger into its tongue in a desperate attempt to prevent myself being swallowed whole but the worm simply flicked its head back throwing me to the back of its throat where with a single gulp I was forced down into blackness the likes of which I’d never seen before.
I splashed into what must have been its stomach acid. As I resurfaced I became aware of a presence around me. I wasn’t alone in here; there were several other creatures around me. With the acid slowly burning through my clothes and making a start on my skin, I had no time to contemplate this. I simply started slashing in the dark praying that I’d be able to cut my way free. My efforts were all in vain. The acid continued to burn and I felt myself being overcome by the horrific fumes when suddenly what felt like an earthquake started. A second later the light rushed up to great me as I was ejected (ok, I was puked up) from the creature and thrown all the way out of the room and into the alter that held the scrolls.
As I stood up I discovered what the other presences had been as I found myself surrounded by skeletons and spawn of Kyuss. It was then that Grim showed me the strength of his faith by raising his tankard towards the undead destroying the skeletons and sending the spawn of Kyuss fleeing in terror; easy meat for myself, Sneeze and Salty. It was also then that I spotted Curly, who was standing alone against the ulgurstasta constantly offering prayers to Heironeous, struck out with a fearsome blow and felled the creature that would have literally eaten me for breakfast.
It is these actions that have made me reassess faith. Obviously both Grim and Curly have been deemed worthy by their deities. Maybe it is I who has gone away from what faith is all about. Have I become a zealot? Am I becoming one of those crazed St Cuthbertites? I am new to this faith thing so maybe I should take a step back and take a good look at what I’m doing and saying. I think Grim still has much to teach me.
Anyway as the fight ended the scrolls fell from where they had been standing in stasis and collapsed onto the altar, the spell on them obviously gone. I wasted little time and immediately picked them up and gulped down the potion, reading even as Grim healed my wounds. What I read at first seemed disturbing. The others almost went ashen at the words. The scrolls spoke of the evil in the ground awakening and consuming the world. It spoke of the inevitable victory and the coming of the age of worms. It spoke of doom and destruction and how all living beings would fall victim to the power beneath us.
Those were my initial thoughts. But as I transcribed it into my native tongue, I discovered something more. The power it spoke of that every living creature would be consumed by wasn’t the power of undeath: it was the power of the worm. The worms that infected the living and turned them into the living dead held more than just that power. For those strong enough they could be used to harness not only the evil essence of death but also the righteous power of good. The worms themselves aren’t evil; they simply turn those who aren’t strong enough to handle them.
However the worms contain more than just this energy. They contain knowledge about Kyuss and its minions. It is with this knowledge that they corrupt the living. The weak succumb easily but those who are strong enough can harness this power, can gain this knowledge and turn it against the wielder and cause its ultimate demise.
I now know why all the things in my life have happened. Why I was asked to go to Diamond Lake, why I came to team up with this group of people, why I was kidnapped, why Hanseath saved me and why I was swallowed by the ulgurstasta; it was so I could get to this point and understand the power that is being offered to me.
I can’t tell the others, they wouldn’t understand. Curly believes whole heartedly that the worms are a disease that needs to be cured, Muffin is too self-obsessed to see the truth, Sneeze is to pure to comprehend the possibility, Salty is too naïve to see past the literal meaning of the scrolls and Grim… well Grim would see it as an affront to the purity of the faith to try and use the power of undeath to further its cause.
No this is something I have to do alone and in secret. If the others found out they would not only try and stop me; I believe they would try and kill me.
Whilst the others were distracted with finding evidence to use against Lightboobs I took the worm-ridden potions from Muffins pack. I said that I would scout out the stairs beyond the secret door we’d found. They all thought this was a good idea and Muffin even cast an invisibility spell on me.
I got to the top of the stairs which led into a wine cellar and stopped. I took out one of the potions and poured it out onto my hand, the liquid running off onto the floor, until the small worm sat in my hand. Not wanting to think about it long enough to lose my nerve I offered a small prayer to Hanseath before placing the worm on my tongue.
I didn’t have to swallow it; the worm penetrated the roof of my mouth before I had the chance. A pain worse than the most severe of hangovers shot sharply into my brain. I wanted to bang my head against the wall until I was unconscious just to make the pain stop but I knew that this would only serve the worms purpose. I sank to my knees and punched the floor to try and regain my focus. I could feel the worm moving about, seeking a place where it could rest and begin its slow corruption of my body and soul. I felt it and battled; my will against its instinct. I felt the worm slowly cease its search. The pain started to fade and as it waned completely I felt the worm die.
It was then, not even realising that I’d closed them, that I opened my eyes to see the small pool of blood I was sitting in. My nose, mouth and even eyes had tracks of blood running from them which had ceased to flow. I quickly cleared this up before gathering myself and setting out to do what I’d said I would.
I moved out of the room I was in onto a corridor. To my right were three doors (which turned out to be cells one of which was occupied by a man who was either very drunk or very insane) and to my right was a room that I estimated to be situated above the ulgurstasta.
Off this room were three other corridors. One led to what looked like a leather works, one to a guard room and the other to a bestiary. In this room were six cells that contained large animals of all kinds. There was a corridor off this but that led to a small hallway with stairs and corridors heading off it in all directions. I decided it would be best to head back and tell the others what I’d found.
As I moved about I started to feel a weird, well, feeling. I could feel an energy flowing inside me much like that when I had been trying to weaken the block of doom, only this time it didn’t gather in one place threatening to explode; it flowed through me like water in a stream. It felt natural, it felt right. I had to force the grin off my face in case the others suspected anything was wrong (or if not wrong at least different) before I got to the bottom of the stairs.
The others had not been idle whilst I’d been gone. Despite not being able to find any evidence to directly link Lightboobs to the cult (other than the corridor leading to his house), they had come up with a plan that must have taken all their combined brain power: we were going to wait up a rope trick until Lightboobs came down and then jump him. The plan sounded fine in principle and so I agreed. Plus it should give me time to explore this new power.
Freeday 28th Flocktime 595
Bored now! Need to do something! It’s lunchtime already and nothings happened.
Why doesn’t Muffin decorate this room and why does he create it at the top of a rope? Maybe it’s the fun watching Grim and Curly try and climb up.
They all know! I know they know but I don’t know if they know I know they know. Or do they? If they do their playing it really calm. They must do! But how can they? Maybe Selanor made one of them invisible and they followed me. But then again I was invisible so they couldn’t have seen me. And plus none of them have the ability to sneak up on me. But then again I was in a lot of pain and that may have distracted me. Nope, none of them could fool me. If they knew, I’d know! They definitely do not know. Do they?
Raknian has just been and is now gone. He came underneath us obviously looking for his cleric and we jumped out on him. I have to admit that he was tougher than I had thought but we slew him and the three so called guards he brought with him. One of them even tried to stab me in the back but he saw death on the end of my sword.
Just read what I’ve written and wondering when did I become so sullen? I didn’t even mention Grim nearly falling out from that extra-dimensional room that Muffin created and any chance to get a cheap laugh from someone else’s incompetence is usually my first port of call. I also didn’t write about how Sneeze tripped Lightboobs up who then, instead of standing up like a normal person, proceeded to try and attack us from the floor. If I wasn’t so busy trying to kill him and his evil gang of henchmen then it would have been laughable. He kinda looked like a turtle on its back trying to right itself only he didn’t have a shell… and he had a sword in one hand… and armour on his front… ok he looked nothing like a turtle on its back!
On a more serious note; I can definitely feel that power surging through me. It was especially apparent when Grim cast a spell healing spell on me. I could feel the positive energy flowing so smoothly throughout my body taking the healing power straight to my wounds. It’s an unbelievable feeling. It was almost worth getting injured just to feel it.
Anyway, with Lightboobs and his minions dead I think it’s high time we took ourselves and the evidence above ground and joined in the festivities. Grim’s still disappointed that we were unable to enter the games and I have to admit a pang of regret myself, but that’s more to do with not having the opportunity to kick Orc-droppings backside all around the stadium than any actual reward or fame we’d have got from it.
Sadly my idea about leaving was met with mixed feelings. By which I mean everyone agreed except Curly. He thought it would be a good idea to for us to check more fully the rest of the caverns underneath the stadium to see if there were any more undead stragglers.
In a desperate attempt not to get wet I persuaded Grim to ask Hanseath to tell us if there was any or not. There was. However, sadly there was no way for him to tell us where under the stadium they were which meant that me, Salty and Sneeze had to get our swimming gear on (which looks surprisingly like our normal gear only damper) and start what seemed like an eternal trek through the underground labyrinth of narrow rocky passages in the hope that we would randomly come across pockets of undead.
The first cavern we came across was only small but it had some weird (what Muffin called) geometrical sketches on the wall (although he didn’t have a clue what they meant) with only one exit that was above ground. As we were already wet, we decided to carry on checking the underwater passages before signalling Muffin to teleport the others in.
Next we surfaced in a shallow pool that was housed in a very complex cave the most striking feature of which (other than the overwhelming stench of sweat) was the partitioned areas that were currently housing a number of rather large, mostly ugly people that seemed to care just a bit too much about their weapons and armour.
We left the coenoby and surfaced almost immediately in another large cavern. This one looked as though it had once housed an underground village. There were numerous houses in various states of disrepair carved into the rock and in its centre there was a ten foot high statue of a large man (Grim identified as a Titan) holding a big ass hammer. On one side of the room there was a passage that we could see led back into the coenoby, and on the other was another passage that had been blocked off.
We carried on our underwater search but the only things of note that we came across were a kitchen and the sewers (maybe “things of note” was the wrong term, although Grim did want to infiltrate the kitchen) so we decided to head back to the room with the patterns on the wall and (more importantly) the passage out.
Once we surfaced from the water, I led the other two along the passage until a smell I can only liken to the time that we let Curly loose in the kitchen of the Feral Dog washed over us. The source of this smell became apparent as we approached a cave; a pile of rotting flesh and bones in the middle of the floor. My wondering of how they actually got there was soon alleviated by another, even worse stench. Nine tight skinned bags of bones roused themselves from whatever slumber they were in and started moving towards us.
As the ghasts approached the three of us suddenly Muffin appeared on the other side of the room with Curly and Grim flanking him. Using the fact that our sense of smell has forever been dulled by our constant proximity to Grim, we managed to ignore the BO these creatures were giving off and made short work of them.
Whilst Muffin (in a desperate attempt to slake his addiction for treasure) searched through the bones, the rest of us checked out the two other passages leading out of this cavern. One Grim was pretty sure led back towards the titan village and the other had collapsed long ago.
With even Curly now satisfied that all the undead under the arena had been taken care of, it was now definitely time for us to leave. Muffin disappeared with the two bricks and Salty (via Lightboob’s temple to chop off and then pick up his and the flingy priest’s heads) leaving me and Sneeze to swim out in the cold, cold, ever so cold, water.
We eventually emerged into the night sky and trudged our way to the inn where the other four had spent the past hour and a half starting the celebration without us (although there isn’t much difference to a celebration if Sneeze is there or not). They didn’t even have a drink waiting for me. I trudged upstairs to change clothes and am half tempted not to go back down but my faith to Hanseath outweighs my annoyance with my group.
Starday 1st Wealsun 595
We headed down to the counsel chambers with the evidence we’d gathered only to be told that all the higher ups were at the games and that we should come back later. I am sick of this counsel. The moment my weapons are ready (I’ve put them in to be upgraded again. Seems like I’m forever doing this) I’m getting out of this godforsaken city and I hope it decays under its own filth and apathy.
We headed for the temple of Heironeous just to ensure they would support us should the counsel do their usual thing of ignoring everything we say. We told them our tale and they seemed concerned (although the counsel had seemed efficient at one stage) and offered their backing.
We were just about to leave and head for Legless’ to get him up to date, when one of the priests (on hearing our plan) stopped us. He informed us that Legless and his manservant had been assassinated a few days ago. He said that both had been garrotted and that currently there were no suspects.
I decided that we should head over anyway and see if we could find out anymore about what happened (basically because I think that anyone the counsel will have hired to investigate would either be incompetent or have another agenda).
We got past the guards outside the gate with a minimum of fuss (although I was very tempted to give them more fuss than they could deal with) and entered the house. Much to my surprise the place hadn’t been completely ransacked. Some of his stuff had gone but nothing any of us considered too major.
We only really found two things of note: firstly that Legless had been killed in his bed (there was a blood stain just under his pillow) and secondly we found a coffer that had a Legless’ notes about the age of worms prophecy along with a note addressed to Shrub-beard the privacy of which I respected about as much as I do the counsel. The note was short and simply asked that Shrub-beard take the notes to their one time master. The strange thing was that the letter was cut off mid-sentence. This raises the question of why? Personally it puts in doubt both the legitimacy of both the note and the murder. No-one half finishes a sentence and then goes to bed so either the murder didn’t happen the way it is portrayed or the note is a forgery.
Unsure what to trust we left and headed back to the counsel building and awaited the incompetents. They eventually arrived and we all piled into their chambers. I left it to the others to explain our findings; I was more intent on watching the counsellors. As Curly was monosyllabically describing our deeds I caught sight of one of the counsellors as he took a sip of his drink. It looked like a thick, dark red wine. It was only when it stained his lips and left a red moustache on his face that I recognised it for what it was: blood! The counsellor quickly wiped away the remnants with his sleeve. I looked at the other members of the ruling counsel and saw that all of them were drinking blood. One of them even poured himself a tankard full from one of the many jugs lining the tables.
I turned to see if anyone else had spotted it but only found more horror as Curly took a sip of his drink which dripped dark red onto his armour. My head no spinning I turned to the others only to find them drinking the dark viscous liquid. I felt my mouth go dry and my forehead to moisten. Salty must have seen my apprehension as she leaned towards me and took my cup and filled it up from the nearest jug. As she offered me the mug back, the smell of iron filled my nostrils. I knocked the cup from her hands sending the liquid spraying across the floor of the chambers. Suddenly all eyes were on me. It was only then, under the shocked gaze of everyone present that I saw that the liquid that had once filled my cup, and still filled everyone else’s, was clear; it was water.
I hurriedly left the chambers to get some badly needed fresh air. The others came out about an hour later and unsurprisingly wanted an explanation. I muttered something about their being a spider on Salty’s hand but they didn’t seem convinced. I can’t tell them the truth though; they’ll think I’m going crazy. Hell, I can’t blame them, not when I think they may be right.
Sunday 2nd Wealsun 595
Spent last night distracting myself and the others (especially Grim) with an impromptu victory drink and am paying for it this morning. I don’t know what went on last night but I’m guessing it must have been something good ‘cause I woke up with some deep scratches on my chest.
I think my hallucination yesterday must have been caused by the past few days catching up on me. That and the fact the counsel are a load of vampires sucking the life out of the city but hey, they did say that they’d check out our story (nice of them to believe us, we’ve only saved the city the three times now) and that if everything was as we said a nice reward would be ours.
I decided that as a few of us had sent our weapons off or placed orders for other magical paraphernalia (Sneeze ordered a magical belt for some bizarre reason) and that Muffin was salivating at the possibility that he’d have the few shops that had remained open during the games to himself that we should simply send a messenger to Shrub-beard regarding Legless and get him to come to us.
Moonday 3rd Wealsun 595
A “bad news, good news, bad news” day today.
Bad news: I woke up with another scar on my chest. This is weird ‘cause I know for a fact that nothing happened last night. I can remember everything (much to Grim’s chagrin; a dwarf trapped inside a barrel ‘cause he fell in trying to scoop the last bit of ale out with his tankard, whilst hilarious to, well pretty much anyone who isn’t that dwarf, is not so amusing to the dwarf in question) and I didn’t fall down any stairs or invite any strange women up to my bedroom (although Salty was dropping her usual hints). Will have to keep an eye on this situation and hope it doesn’t get any worse.
Good news: the counsel had checked out Lightboob’s house and underground temple and decided that we’d been right all along and promptly handed over a whole hundred platinum each. They also said that they’d found some notes in his house that made reference to a plan that should have come to fruition today whereby he’d have killed everyone in the arena (spectators and all) turning them all into undead and basically turning the entire city deader than Curly’s imagination.
Bad news: Orc-dropping somehow retained his stupid title which means that I’m going to have to put up with him boasting for another year about how great he thinks he is. It almost makes me wish we hadn’t foiled Lightboob’s plot. Sure we’d have had a city overrun with undead, but at least Orc-dropping would have been one of the first casualties.
Godsday 4th Wealsun 595
I woke up with another scar, this time on my left thigh. Something is definitely wrong. I might have to confide in Grim but I’m not sure what he’d think.
Have just finished re-reading my copy of the Apostolic scrolls and feel much better. I now believe the scars are simply part of the sacrifice I’m supposed to make in order for me to sustain this power. It’s my bodies way of dealing with the energies that would normally pass through a person which I am now holding within myself. I don’t mind this; I’m strong enough to take on this burden, especially as it will only make me a stronger force against Kyuss.
Waterday 5th – Starday 15th Wealsun 595
This last ten days have been, how do I put it? Oh yeah: dull! Without the games going on (which consequently means most people have to work which means less people partying) this city is boring! Curly was alright, he just took the time to reacquaint himself with his god and temple. Muffin was in dreamland what with all the shops open for business. Sneeze, well Sneeze never has any fun anyway so I’m pretty sure that he was fine. Grim was being… Grim and Salty seemed to spend most of it trying on new outfits (I went with her one day… I’d rather be swallowed whole by the Ulgurstasta again than repeat that experience).
Me, I’ve spent most of this week and a day studying the scrolls and believe that I’ve only scratched the surface of the power they can give me. However I also believe that there are more sacrifices to be made if I wish to acquire these powers. This poses two questions: one, am I willing to make these sacrifices and two, how do I keep this from the others. I’m sure the scars (new ones of which appear on a semi-regular basis) will at some time appear somewhere I can’t cover up (I’ve already had to start wearing long sleeved shirts due to the ones on my arms). Still, all that is for another day.
It’s been over ten days since we sent the messenger to Diamond Lake and we were expecting Shrub-beard to be here easily by now, or at least to have sent a reply. I guess I should have said that a gang of lizardmen were on their way to lay siege to his tower; he’d have been here for reinforcements in double quick time then. Still I suppose at his age it must take a bit longer, what with all the extra toilet breaks and the fact that old people seem to sleep pretty much all the time. I figure that, since it takes a normal person five days to get here, Shrub-beard should arrive sometime during next years Champions games.
Sunday 16th Wealsun 595
With our weapons now ready and with still no word from Shrub-beard (according to the company we used, the messenger hadn’t even arrived back yet) we finally left the city and started the trek back to Diamond Lake and I for one can’t wait to get there. Sure it’s at the arse end of nowhere and the general population are about as pleasant as a sober Grim and no matter where you are you there seems to be the insidious odour of Sneeze’s feet, but compared to this so called bastion of civilisation, it’s like a shining beacon of sweetness and light… apart from the priests of St Cuthbert who are just annoying.
Moonday 17th – Earthday 20th Wealsun 595
You would not believe how good it feels to be out of the city. No more worrying about assassins creeping around in the shadows. No shape-changers lying in wait to kidnap you. It almost feels like I’ve been let out of prison. Everyone seems in good spirits! Although Muffin is already whining about the lack of shopping facilities in Diamond Lake and Salty’s worried that her new outfits won’t be appreciated fully by the patrons of the Feral Dog. Grim’s also started on about the narrow range of ales available and cast doubt over their quality whilst Curly’s upset about the leaving the lavish temple of Heironeous behind. Come to think of it, it seems that only me and Sneeze are genuinely happy to leave the city (not that you’d know that by the l stoic look he has constantly imprinted on his face).
Freeday 21st Wealsun 595
Ok, I’ll have to admit that I wasn’t as thrilled to see Diamond Lake as I originally thought I would be. Although that might have to do with the fact that when we got there half of it was either burning, in ruins or both (this included Shrub-beards mansion). Two of the Sheriff’s men rode up to us as we approached town and gave us a very warm greeting (obviously word had spread about mine and my groups deeds in the Free City) before telling us exactly what had happened. Apparently a large black dragon had come to town nearly a week ago now and laid waste to Shrub-beard’s place and some other buildings – they didn’t know why but guessed that some one in town had done something to offend it. I mumbled something about it probably being Porky Smenk whilst trying not to look at my boots at the same time as Muffin put an extra blanket over the rather large, rather black egg that had been secured in my cart.
Our guilt came to the fore and forced us to ask two questions: one, where can we find the dragon? And two (more importantly) was the Feral Dog still standing?
Sadly i regret to inform you that this will be the last entry of Deree's Diary... for the time being! Our GM is taking a well earned rest from running and will probably resume in about six months or so. We'll be playing other games such as Deadlands, Cyberpunk and Red Hand of Doom in between - no diaries for these though (unless another of my group takes them up - it's my final year in uni, gimme a break).
Thank you for reading and i hope you have enjoyed the journey thus far as much as i have. Special thanks to TK for putting me on his list of favourite threads - it gave me a huge boost.
|
Sadly i regret to inform you that this will be the last entry of Deree's Diary... for the time being! Our GM is taking a well earned rest from running and will probably resume in about six months or so. We'll be playing other games such as Deadlands, Cyberpunk and Red Hand of Doom in between - no diaries for these though (unless another of my group takes them up - it's my final year in uni, gimme a break).
Thank you for reading and i hope you have enjoyed the journey thus far as much as i have. Special thanks to TK for putting me on his list of favourite threads - it gave me a huge boost.
Sad to see you go, I loved reading of your groups exploits.
Your writing style is amazing and I hope you plan on going on to novels or something similar.Good Luck
FH
Indeed. I usually don't read more than the first page of a campaign journal (other than the playtest group's), but yours was really funny. I hope this campaign continues eventually and that you'll be back to post some more of the journal.
TK
Thank you for the comments; i'm very honoured and flattered by them.
As i say, all being well the campaign should start again sometime near the middle of next year (personally i can't wait but i can well understand the GM's need for a break) and i'll definately be carrying on with the diary when it does.
Thanks once more
Steve
|
“Arise my beautiful monstrosities!”
Suddenly the four cylinders smashed open. Out of three of them stepped undead creatures that looked like bipedal lizards but out of the one next to me stepped a seven foot tall bear like zombie that immediately hit me with a clubbing blow that sent me flying (for which I have to say I was grateful as I really did not want to spend anymore time next it than necessary). I recovered from that blow and took a swig of my healing potion before continuing towards the necromancer who had now summoned up a skeleton to guard him as well as two of the undead lizards. The rest of the group started to try and take care of the large (what I was told later was the zombie corpse of a bugbear) zombie and the other lizard.
As we were occupied with his minions the necromancer took the opportunity to inject himself with the syringe (with no visible affect) and cast a spell that created a ghostly
...
AUGH!!! It appears that the first post was cut short since that's it and the following post picks up 6 days later (19th Planting). Is there anyway you can add the rest?
It's in the 5th post - only realised i'd mucked up after posting loads more of the diary.
Thanks for reading
Deree
Hello there folks.
Yup that's right - back by unpopular demand it's 'Deree's Diary'.
Have just had our first session back after playing games as varied as 'Weapons of the Gods', 'Savage Tide' and 'Pimp: The Backhanding' (ok the latter is a card game but i thought it warranted a mention).
Firstly i must apologise a bit for the first part of the diary - it's a bit nyah due to one of our players moving back to the good ol' US of A and us trying to come up with a way of the character leaving without the rest of us robbing all their magic items and/or going completely off track so i hope you can forgive us for that. As for the rest, i hope you enjoy it and i hope i haven't lost touch with the character too much.
As always i welcome your comments and suggestions, good or bad, and thank you all for taking the time to read it.
Yours
Steve (aka Deree)
Freeday 21st Wealsun 595 cont.
Turns out that the others weren’t as interested in the Feral Dog as I was (even Grim seemed less than enthusiastic) and were more concerned with Shrub-beard’s whereabouts so before heading into town we decided to stop off at his mansion; and by mansion I mean big pile of rubble. The whole house was now shorter than me and half melted. It reminded me of the time me and Grim crashed that wedding and he sat on the three tiered cake before letting one rip. Good times!
Anyway we concluded that there was no way that Shrub-beard was here so we turned and started towards the town centre. As we set off a figure appeared on the road ahead coming our way. I fingered the hilts of my weapons as we got closer until suddenly Salty started running towards the man. At first I thought that her desperation to be with me (or any man for that matter) had finally got the best of her but her screams of “Dad” were filled with genuine affection rather than the moans of a dirty, naughty girl addressing her sugar lover.
So anyway it turns out that this guy was actually Salty’s dad (and here’s me having thought that she must be an orphan or at least some kind of summoned creature) and he’d been trying to track her down for a number of weeks (he’d apparently just missed us in the Free City). He’d come with bad news; her mother was dying. She’d contracted some kind of wasting disease that even the best clerics and medicine men were unable to cure. Her mother (selfish as it sounds) had asked that Salty, her only child, could come and see her one last time before she leaves this mortal coil. I have to say I was genuinely moved by the story, unlike Sneeze who less than sympathetically pointed out that we’re on a quest to save the entire world from destruction and that the feelings and wishes of one dying person were of no consequence in the grand scheme of things.
Due to the utter shock of that remark I forget exactly what happened next but I think it involved a slap, some hugs, a bucket of tears and I’m pretty sure a squeeze of my ass before Salty and her pepper, sorry, papa rode off into the midday sun. I guess I’ll miss her but it’ll probably be the best thing for her. It’ll give her time away from the object of her unfrequented affection and let her feelings fade slightly (or at least enough for one of those home town boys to take advantage of her vulnerable state).
With the red marks both mine and Sneeze’s cheeks fading we headed into the town proper to assess the damage. Fortunately there was very little apart from the Emporium which had been levelled. The clerics of St Cuthbert had set up a shelter for the wounded and dying and just one look at their faces sent Curly into a guilt ridden depression. Somehow he felt it was all our fault and that we should put it right by seeking out and killing the dragon. I know he’s a bit slow but I’m pretty sure I already said that’s what we were going to do, although it’s nice to see that he’s behind me.
Curly was all for going after it right now but it was decided that with a foe as fearsome as a dragon it would be prudent for us to find out as much as we could about it and for Muffin and Grim to make sure they’d read up or prayed on some spells that could help us. Curly sulkingly agreed and set about trying to wrangle some help from the St Cuthbites who managed to scrounge together a couple of potions that would protect us against the serpents acid breath and a couple that would allow us to fly and guess what; they gave us a ten percent discount on the purchase. Just the thought of those self-righteous morons is bringing back all the anger. We’re risking our lives to slay a dragon and they’re charging us!
I had to leave and get a drink and so I stormed off to the Feral Dog (which was thankfully still standing) and walked in to find the place busier than I’d ever seen it. Tak spotted me and called me over, sliding a tankard my way. We chatted for a bit which allowed me to calm myself. As I got started on my second I spotted one of the Sheriff’s men. Wanting to find out more about the attack and the whereabouts of our benefactor I helped myself to another tankard and plonked myself down in the recently vacated seat next to him. As he supped he spoke of what had happened:
“The black dragon struck without warning. Its first onslaught was directed at Allustan’s house which he destroyed before seeming to search the carnage. I arrived with the second wave of militia to find most of the first troop dead and the dragon clutching a bloodied man in each claw demanding in a raspy voice to know where the master of the house was. One of the men, Dernon, gods have mercy, was barely able to wheeze his answer before the dragon tore him asunder. The dragon then flew off across the town flying straight through the Emporium before disappearing from sight.”
I pressed the obviously distraught man for the location that his friend had given before leaving him and his still full tankard to his grief; The Whispering Cairn!
So it seems we are to go back to where it all began. Funny how things work out!
I looked around the bar and at all the sullen faces and decided that it was my job, as indeed it once was, to cheer everyone up. I stood on the bar and banged two tankards together to gain the silence I desired.
“Friends of Diamond Lake” I began “I know that the town has been ravaged and that you are all rightfully living in terror of the beast that has laid waste to this town and to so many of your friends and family. But I am here to tell you that you no longer have to live in fear. That you can all dare to hope and dream once more for I, Deree Silentfoot, and my band of Daring Dynamos are here and I promise to any god you would wish to name that we will find this dragon and we will slay it!”
My words did do what I intended but not in the way that I intended it. My arms aloft in anticipation of the cheers and shouts that such a rousing speech warranted, I was instead greeted by a brief moment of silence before laughter erupted throughout the building. I’d have been annoyed but I got a load of free drinks off a lot of the patrons. Apparently it’s the first time anyone’s laughed since the attack.
Starday 22nd Wealsun 595
Not sure how much sleep I got last night and not for a good reason either. I couldn’t sleep. Anytime I did I had dreams about worms. I woke up in a sweat each time and each time had a desperate need for… for something. I’d had my fill of drink and food and neither satisfied the ache. I opened my magical haversack and sitting on top were the two remaining worm potions. Instantly I knew this was what I wanted. I uncorked one and placed the rim of the bottle to my lips. It was then that Grim staggered past my cart. Quickly I stoppered the potion and feigned sleep for the few seconds it took him to pass out on top of a none too plussed Lavender. I reached into the haversack once more and held the bottle once more. I wanted nothing more than to uncork it and feel the wonderful agony of that worm infesting my brain one more time. I held the bottle to the moonlight to see the worm inside when something caught my eye; another scar. It was only then that I remembered the sacrifice that went with this pleasure. It took all my strength to place the bottle back in my haversack and all my will to close my eyes once more.
I’m so drunk! I mean really drunk! I need to write down now what we did today because I’m not sure I’ll be able to do anything tomorrow. Or do I mean today? What time is it? Why am I asking a piece of paper? Maybe Grim knows.
Grim doesn’t know and I think he was a bit upset that I woke him. I’d ask Muffin but I have to be honest, I don’t want to. I don’t like him that much. Although I will have to admit that I do respect him a lot more after today. Or do I respect him less? I’ll read this back tomorrow and find out.
Anyway today we fought and killed a big, huge, massive black dragon and we kicked it’s big, huge, massive ass. It looked bad for a while, especially when Muffin disappeared with Grim leaving me, Sneeze and Curly (who looked kind of like a flying tin of… human in his armour all flying about really slowly in his suit of armour. I say slowly but he could have been moving really fast but not compared to that dragon. Wow, that thing could move.
I suppose I should really try to start at the tart. Hee hee hee; start at the tart! That’s what Grim does at a banquet. Anyway, me and Sneeze decided we should sneak up to the entrance of the Whispering Cairn and see if we could see a big, huge, massive black dragon shaped thing in or around it. We couldn’t. So you’ll understand that it came as a big, huge, massive surprise when it appeared behind us and breathed a line of black acid towards Curly, Muffin and Grim who took it all in their stride. Oh yeah, those three had taken them potions that would protect them from the breath weapon. Muffin responded by, and I quote, “channelling a lot of my magical energy into a spell in order to make it more powerful”. All I know is I heard a big bang and the dragon got pissed. It flew over to them and bit and clawed and flapped its wings at them. Funny thing was that the more it mauled Muffin, the more it seemed to injure Grim. After it had done that, me, Sneeze and Curly set to work on the underbelly of the beast. Did I mention it was hovering just off the ground? Well it was! Well we whacked on it before it struck out again (it got me with one of its wings) hitting Grim and Muffin who moments later disappeared (wimps) from sight which was bad as the dragon then turned its attention onto the rest of us. We handled it ok, especially when, after another loud bang, it flew up in the air and breathed another line of acid towards Grim and Muffin who’d just appeared... over there. Down a bit from the entrance. Towards the town! Anyway, Curly flew after it but as I said, the dragon was very fast and curly was very slow, in all senses of the word. This didn’t matter as the severe wounds I’d caused it coupled with the little bits that Muffin and the others had put in (including stealing the killing blow with yet another spell – that one that that produces the lightning.. not sure which one.. it was blue and streaky and looked like lightning) the beast fell like Curly’s perm in a light drizzle.
Although the dragon dying was great, me and Grim weren’t satisfied. Between us we chopped off its head and slit open its belly to see if Shrub-beard was inside. Not sure if he was or wasn’t as there was a lot of partially dissolved bodies in there – well not in there now; they spilled out on the ground (there not even there now – Curly spent his night digging graves).
With the absence of Shrub-beard in the dragons stomach we figured he must be in the cairn somewhere so we went and had a look. It wasn’t the same as last time. As we went in one of the corridors that had been collapsed was now not collapsed. The rubble had been moved and at the end was a shiny black thing with a circular door in the middle of it. Muffin said it was probably a portal. I tell you, that guy’s a genius! I never would have guessed that! Curly chucked a coin at it and it disappeared through the surface of the shiny part which rippled.
People weren’t really interested in going in what with being beaten up by the dragon and all so we decided to check out the rest of the cairn which turned out to still be the same as when we left last time.
It was at this point that we decided that there was nothing left to do but go and show all those people who didn’t believe in me and my band of Daring Dynamos just what we can do! So we did! Well me and Grim and Muffin did, Curly and Sneeze stayed behind to bury the bodies and keep an eye on the portal. We walked into the Feral Dog with the head which scared half the patrons initially (there were a couple of suspicious “spills” which needed cleaning up) but after my rendition of how we slaughtered the scourge of the town I received the cheers that my groups efforts truly deserved.
The rest of the night was spent drinking and singing songs (more than a few about me and my group I might add) and eating and drinking and then staggering back to the cairn where I’m about to go to sleep. Or do I mean pass out? I’ll let you know.
Sunday 23rd Wealsun 595
Pass out!
I’d never noticed it before but Curly’s voice is quite possibly the most annoying thing in the world to wake up to. I’d rather be woken up by one of Sneeze’s punches (which, by the way my head’s pounding, may have also happened).
Anyway Curly was trying to explain to Grim (who couldn’t possibly have heard through the pillow he had wrapped around his head) that he and Sneeze had been talking last night (not sure which one of them I feel more sorry for) and they had come to the conclusion that the portal was probably linked to the Wind Dukes. This revelation was only made shocking by the fact that it hadn’t come from Muffin, the master of “State the obvious”.
Well as we’d all rested (in theory) Sneeze pushed for us to go through the portal. I muttered agreement and helped Curly drag Grim to his feet whilst Sneeze impatiently moved to the portal. As he touched it he reeled in pain. At first I thought he must be reliving some of the conversation he’d had with Curly last night but he screamed that there was something in the portal. My hangover immediately gone I sprung though the black surface and found myself floating in a substance that looked a lot like the substance that drools out of Grim’s mouth when he’s sleeping. I recognised the gangly limbed clawed beast that was causing Sneeze distress; an Abyssal Ghoul.
Being hardly able to move let alone strike at the beast I decided to exit the other side. I stepped out into a corridor that resembled the entrance to the Whispering Cairn though the holes on either side of the walls that piped out the eerie whispers in the Cairn positively shouted with the power of the wind being forced through them. I turned to strike out at the ghoul when I spotted a black cloud (or rather several clouds) in the distance. However what concerned me was the fact that it was moving towards me, against the wind. A bit worried about what impending doom was coming towards me I tried to call the others through but I couldn’t even hear my own voice above the wind.
Quickly the smoke started to form into what would later be identified as six Belkers. I have to be honest, they even terrified me at first – that was until they struck out at me. I say struck out but I’ve seen more venom in one of Muffin’s girly slaps.
After I easily dodged the blows from the elementals that had surrounded me, I turned my attention back to the ghoul. From this side of the portal I could see that Curly had gone through the portal and was currently stuck in the goop with the ghoul. He was struggling pass through to my side but the Belkers had blocked the exit. With Curly and the others focussing on the ghoul I decided to try and make space for them on this side. I set about slashing away and within moments the others were able to step through and the Belkers soon faded back to smoke beneath our blades.
Sunday 23rd Wealsun 595 cont.
With the wind blowing through the corridor at a rate more akin to that of Grim’s post beer farts only not quite as toxic, we moved quickly along the corridor which opened up into a far less gusty room that had a few bizarre features. Just to the right of the entrance and ahead next a set of double doors, were masses of spikes that were protruding from the floor in all directions. Two other double doors on either side of the room stood behind shallow depressions in the floor. The walls were covered in frescos depicting the tall androgynous humanoids we’ve come to know as the wind-dukes. Interspersed in these pictures were the same holes although the noise was a lot quieter and deeper than in the corridor. The floor was criss-crossed with shallow trenches that seemed designed to carry water that was long dried up.
I was just about to step into the room when Grim stopped me. He said that he believed it might be trapped. After a search of the area around the entrance I saw no trigger mechanism and so Grim confidently stepped out into the room. On hindsight I think too confidently. How did he know there was a trap there? How did he resist the wind that should have thrust him into the bed of spikes? Why did he make me look for traps in a place where he knew I wouldn’t find any? Is he trying to make me look stupid? Is he trying to usurp me from my position in the group by embarrassing me in front of the others? What is his motive for this? I’m going to have to keep a very close eye on him.
With Grim’s help (obviously furthering his plot against me) we all made it past the trap and headed towards the door on our right. As I stepped into the curved depression in front of it a mist like vapour started to rise around me and spread along the frescos seemingly bringing them to life. The pictures showed the Wind-duke called Icosiol at the battle of Peche, the same battle depicted in the four pictures that we saw below Zosiel’s burial chamber. As the animation continued we saw Icosiol seem to make a pact with a monstrously huge humanoid that looked like it had an axe-head through its skull (Muffin later identified it as a Marut-Inevitable – a little too easily I might add). The picture faded and reformed to show Icosiol holding a square seal and a rod that split into seven separate pieces.
It was at this point that I lost sight of the pictures as the mist gathered more thickly around me. Forced to inhale, my legs suddenly felt like lead and as quickly as it came, the mist disappeared leaving me with that sluggish feeling. Grim, who just happened to have prayed to Hanseath for the exact spell needed to restore my nimbleness, smugly came over and lay his hands on me. I thought twice about letting him cast the spell on me but I came to the conclusion that I need to be at my blistering best to hold off his challenge so for now I’ll use him to help me derail the prophecy before I deal with his treachery.
With my strength restored and the doors opened we stepped into a corridor that had another corridor intersecting it. The entire place was lit by six floating torches (one of which Muffin tried to steal but when he let it go the torch simply floated back to its original position). In the centre of the cross… corridors I guess, stood a statue of a wind-duke impassively holding a sword in one hand and a set of scales in the other.
I wonder how much Curly’s hair weighs? I bet it’s a lot. Maybe that’s the reason why he’s so dim – the hair puts too much pressure on his brain. I might do him a favour and shave it all off – that way I could put it on the scales and answer my original question although as Grim, who actually licked the statue, informed us, the entire thing was made of granite (apart from the mithril sword that is) so the scales wouldn’t actually work anyway. Guess I’ll have to find another way.
Anyway, as we were getting over the disgust of seeing Grim, who apparently will put anything in his mouth (I hadn’t thought it could get worse than the time at the Feral Dog when he started sucking at the bottom of the last barrel of Dwarfbane), lick an ancient statue I got a tingling on my neck hairs. Before I had the chance to warn anyone (not that I’m sure I should. I mean none of them warned me despite Sneeze’s obvious knowledge as he joined me in diving on the floor) as a fireball erupted around us. Looking up from the floor I spotted the door at the end of the corridor on our left ajar and a figure stepping back to try and avoid my gaze allowing a flickering light to stream through the gap.
I saw Grim start towards the door but suddenly come to a dead halt half way along the corridor which gave me the chance to overtake him and reach the room first although in hindsight this could have been a brilliant move on Grim’s part to try and get rid of me by legitimate means. I charged the door open only to release an inferno like heat that emanated from a huge moving mass of fire that was standing behind a not quite as huge, but still pretty big, fiery lizard with a very long spear (Muffin later revealed that it was a Noble Salamander).
The heat of the room stunned me as it hit although not quite as hard as the enormous fists of fire that struck immediately after. Sneeze ran in after me but such was the heat that his robes began to smoke before he even struck a blow. Curly showed his colours when he stayed behind to cast a spell on Grim to allow him to move again. And what did he do with this regained ability – he cast a spell of healing… on himself! Here I am nearly burned and bludgeoned to death and he goes and sees to his own wounds!
It was at this point Muffin moved in between myself, Grim and Sneeze and, with a single spoken word transported us back to the wind fuelled corridor. Not sure what to make of that particular tactic. I know Grim is attempting mutiny but at least I can respect the fact that he’s picked a side. How can you respect someone who’s content to just sit on the fence and see who comes out on top? Although if he hasn’t completely turned on me yet, maybe I can persuade him fully over to my side. That might even things up a bit what with Curly (who managed to find us without further incident) seemingly camped in Grim’s corner.
I allowed Grim to heal me. Once again as he lay his hands on me I could feel the energy coursing through my veins with the empowered feeling I’ve been experiencing ever since I overcame the Kyuss worm.
Tonight’s been awkward. We’ve spent the entire evening up what Muffin calls a Rope Trick. This of course meant I had to leave my haversack in the corridor below us and my watch is the first time I’ve had chance to come down and write.
I don’t know what’s wrong with me. Why am I feeling this way about people that I’ve stood beside in battle time and again? About people that have shown me nothing but honour and respect and taught me about a world beyond the physical and how to access that world through the power of the gods? Even now with my mind fully aware that what I’m feeling is wrong, I still have those feelings. I know that Grim isn’t plotting against me.
So why this infectious feeling? It must be something to do with the worm. It has to be. But I’d read the scriptures, I performed the absorption to the letter. I should have control over it! Is it possible that I’m not strong enough to handle the worm and it is slowly taking control of me? I need to think on this. Hopefully I can get some uninterrupted sleep and see what the morrow brings.
Moonday 24th Wealsun 595
Today’s been quite… interesting. Not sure where to begin so I suppose I’ll start at the beginning:
After I finished my watch last night I managed to get to sleep surprisingly easily although it wasn’t the peaceful sleep I’d hoped for. I dreamt I was back in the Free City under the Champions Arena in the room where we slew the Ulgurstasta although this time it was empty. As I looked around I felt a sudden sharp pain in my stomach. I ripped open my shirt just in time to see my skin rip open and, in a spray of blood, a Kyuss worm erupted out and onto the floor. I fell to the ground and back away from the creature that was now starting to grow and soon reached a size that filled the entire chamber, squeezing me tight against the wall. Just as I thought the pressure would cave my rib cage in we were suddenly in the spacious arena above. The creature reared its massive body up and seemed to look down on me. With a scream that showed row after row of razor sharp teeth it plunged towards me. In my dream I remember closing my eyes and hoped for a swift death that didn’t come. I gathered enough courage to open my eyes to see the large worm lying motionless on the floor. On top of it crawled two other worms that quickly devoured the beast before one started devouring the other. When only one colossus worm remained I was once again fixed with the creature’s almost lifeless gaze. Slowly the worm crawled towards me and wrapped its mouth around my feet. Unable to move I closed my eyes to shut out the pain before realising that I wasn’t feeling any. I opened my eyes once more only to find that it wasn’t the worm eating me but a smaller humanoid figure which looked up. I found myself looking into my own eyes for what seemed like an age before my other self nodded and smiled as he continued on where the worm had stopped. Still no pain came instead I was overcome with a feeling of what I can only describe as contentment. It was as my other self opened its mouth to consume the last of my body that I awoke feeling more refreshed than I have in a long time.
I’m not a hundred percent sure what the dream means and until I do, I’m not going to rush into doing anything. Which is kind of ironic considering what spell Muffin cast on us before heading back into battle with the salamander and elemental. Grim and Muffin spent almost half an hour after breakfast discussing and casting spells on themselves, each other and the rest of us the last of which doubled how quick we could move.
As soon as Muffin finished this incantation we charged the door. I say we but once more Grim was stopped dead in his tracks by some sort of trap and Curly was once again forced to cast a spell on him in order to dispel the dweomer. So once again myself and Sneeze were the first into battle. The elemental was at the front protecting the Salamander but Sneeze managed to acrobatically tumble past the creature leaving it at my mercy. I stood head to toe against the monster but fear didn’t even enter my mind. With the added speed given to me by Muffin and the blessing that Grim had placed on all our weapons I ripped into the heart of the fiery beast with a flurry of blades so quick that even I almost missed it and smote it back to whatever hell it had come from (Muffin also cast some kind of spell on it but he was miles away from it and in absolutely no danger so personally I don’t think that counts). I was just about to unleash my fury on the Salamander when the creature threw down its weapon and hissed its surrender. Sneeze gave it the old ‘Salty wake up call’ so we could decide what to do with it.
After much deliberation (and by that I mean arguments and threats and a little fisticuffs during which I checked out the chest we’d found at the back of the room – didn’t contained much: some money, jewels, a wand designed to turn people invisible and three bottles of very expensive liquor which Grim instantly recognised as ‘Efreet Brandy’) it was decided that we’d wake the creature and question it about the area before banishing it back to its own dimension, by death if necessary.
Not sure if pouring a whole waterskin of the wet stuff over a fire demon is the ideal way of waking it up but it did the trick. We explained our terms to the salamander who, when faced with the idea of a painful death plus (apparently) a hundred years of banishment on its home-plane or give us info about the area and get a nice fluffy cloud ride home without the hard time, hissed up info about the rooms across from us. He said that beyond the next room was a wraith on one side, a load of xorn’s (deep earth dwelling creatures) on the left and a couple of unidentified creatures somewhere about. Somehow the creature managed to draw us a map without burning the parchment
With a ‘Thank-you and goodnight’, Grim banished the demon and we mostly ignored everything it said (although Curly, bless his naïve heart, thinks he could have been telling the truth) and headed to the far end of the main corridor only to be greeted by the stupidest position ever for a false door. I mean come on! I thought these wind-dukes were meant to be a superior species and they’re putting false doors in at the end of a fifty foot corridor that must have taken who knows how long and cost Hanseath knows how much to build! They didn’t even trap it! Amateurs!
That left only one more option on this side of the spiky wind trapped room – the way the salamander said. The salamander at least had drawn this part of the map right (but then again it’s not a stretch to put a room beyond a door at the end of a corridor) and we stepped out into an unusual room. The room was almost like a pit with the entrance being at the bottom. Stairs to the left and right led up to a walkway that rimmed the basin below. Doors led off the walkway on the three sides it rimmed. The room was lit by four chandeliers although from the light they were giving off the room should have been brighter. In the centre of the chandeliers was a black sphere the presence of which was made more ominous when I got to the top level and got a better look at the light fittings; they had the same shapes and symbols as the Amulet of the Sphere that Muffin was at that exact time holding up to the ceiling and, in the most pathetic effort at a commanding voice I’ve ever heard (and that includes the time that Curly tried to order Grim not to drink), ordered the sphere to come towards him… now I know I’ve been off form lately but even I know that commanding anything called a ‘Sphere of Annihilation’ to come towards you is a bad, terrible and outright dumb thing to do. Fortunately the sphere didn’t move. It did, however, detect as type of magic that conjured things into existence.
Whilst all this was going on Sneeze had moved into the base of the room where he announced that the walls were covered in more frescos that was telling a story which we didn’t get the chance to hear as Sneeze screamed like Muffin did when he got caught in a light rain. Give him his due thought, he had a good excuse; he’d stepped on what was identified as a massive black-pudding. On the announcement of this, Grim jumped of the ledge and hacked away at it with all the vigour he normally attacks a full cooked breakfast (he did look kinda disappointed that there wasn’t any bacon and eggs to go with it). However all he actually did was to split the entire thing in two and spurt acid all over himself and his weapons and armour. At this point I have to give a huge amount of respect to Sneeze; despite this knowledge he pummelled into that thing, or rather those two things, with his bare hands. Truly he has more guts and less regard for his own physical wellbeing than any person I’ve ever met and I’ve bore witness to Grim’s eating habits. I mean even I stopped hitting hit when my mace and hammer dissolved (wasn’t about to risk using my kukris on them – they cost a ruddy fortune and I’m not that far gone… yet).
The desserts succumbed before the acid completely ate through Sneeze’s arms and whilst Grim sorted out his injuries we managed to get a better look at the story. It seemed to show a succession of demons succumbing to the wind-dukes but there were two that showed something different; one depicted a host of wind-dukes holding out amulets as if to ward off a field of floating black orbs and the other showed a marut-inevitable reaching for a square object being held by a group of glowing creatures. No idea what that’s all about and I have to be honest, I don’t actually care. This whole place is starting to annoy me. Well not exactly this place but more the fact that we’re forced to waste time searching for Shrub-beard so he can give us the information we need regarding his master and where we can find him as Legless wasn’t considerate enough to leave that tid-bit for us before he was brutally murdered.
With everyone sorted we decided to check out the door to the right. Unsurprisingly the map the salamander drew didn’t match, although this itself put us on edge as to what might be down here. A short downward sloping corridor led out into a room containing two double doors each guarded by a pair of large, ominous looking statues and another single door. Identical chandeliers to the previous room illuminated this room. With an uneasy feeling running through the entire group, I decided it would be best to investigate elsewhere before venturing forth into this room.
The door opposite opened into a very ornate room the focal point of which was a large red urn with gold decorations. The arched ceiling depicted two entwined lovers and four chairs stood in each corner. Muffin detected magical emanations coming from one of four boxes at the rear of the room and from the top of the urn. The boxes contained various jewels and gems coupled with a wand that apparently makes people more attractive (Muffin’s eyes lit up at this news – I think he thinks he’d have a better chance with Tira if he were better looking… poor deluded fool). A bit worried about what I determined was a magical trap on the urn, we retreated out of the room whilst Sneeze took pot-shots at it with javelins. After several frustrating minutes he eventually hit a bulls-eye and smashed the urn open, an action which sent a ray of energy hurtling towards him. Sneeze was quick enough to dodge it and the rest of us were quick enough to run and check for what treasures it encased. On hindsight we should have figured out that it contained the ashes of two long dead lovers but hey, I’ve had other things on my mind.
With this anticlimactic outcome we decided to rest up before we went into the statues of death room… I mean the room with the statues guarding the doors that are bound to animate and kill us… the statues that is, not the doors… I’m pretty sure we could take a group of animated doors.
Godsday 25th Wealsun 595
Managed to get a dreamless sleep last night; wish I knew how to make that a permanent state of affairs but I guess that’s not going to happen. Although I’ve started thinking that maybe it’s someone’s way of trying to tell me something although if they’re powerful enough to put dreams in my head, why can’t they make them a bit less obtuse? No time to ponder it now though; we’re heading back to the statue room as soon as Grim’s finished picking the remains of his breakfast out of his beard.
I’m not dead and it wasn’t the statues that caused my current predicament but other than that my prediction about the room was perfect. We entered the room and were surprised to find that the statues didn’t immediately animate and attack. Maybe that’s why we were surprised when a huge (what later became obvious) shadow spider appeared from nowhere and attacked us. And by us I mean me. It dropped down from the ceiling and reached out for me with one of its claws. As it touched me my vision seemed to blur but when I looked back to the spider I realised that it was the room that was blurring. In the briefest of seconds everything came back into focus. I was in the same room only everything seemed to be darker. It was as if the shadows were deepened both in colour and size. I glanced behind me only to find that the rest of the group hadn’t travelled with us. Figuring my only way out f this shadowy hell would be to kill my abductor I channelled my inner rage and flew at the spider. Obviously intimidated by my sudden increase in power, the cowardly arachnid ran. And boy could it run. It disappeared out the room faster than a thought out of Curly’s head.
I tried to follow but as I moved out of the room the world went blurry once more only this time I didn’t appear back in the room but somewhere else. As the world came back into focus I fell to the hard stony ground. I tried to rise but my body wouldn’t respond. I looked around the landscape only to find that there wasn’t much to see. I was on a flat, barren plain that stretched almost to the horizon. The only focal point I could find was a volcano in the distance. The whole place looked familiar but I couldn’t quite place it.
I sat there for an hour before I could muster the energy to move myself to a more defensible position, a position I’m still occupying now some four hours later. I have to be honest I don’t feel as apprehensive as I think I should be considering I’m exhausted, alone and lost. It’s almost nice to have time to myself without worrying about who’s doing what around me. I’ve spent a lot of this time thinking about that dream I had the other night and if I’ve figured it out then my future doesn’t look great. Some parts I’m not yet sure of so I don’t want to elaborate too much. The one thing I’m sure of is that I have to infuse another worm and I need to do it soon otherwise the one inside will consume me from the inside. I wish I weren’t feeling so weak; this would be the ideal time to do it away from the prying eyes and ears of the others but I daren’t risk it until I’m fully fit.
Just when you think things can’t get any worse, it’s started to rain. It’s laughable really. I’m just waiting for the thunder and lightning to top off what’s been a wonderful day so far.
Today has been a very long, very boring but ultimately… no, the first two pretty much cover it. I’ve spent most of it fatigued, cold, wet and alone and the times when I wasn’t those things, I was beat up, electrocuted, wracked with headaches and stuck with someone who makes Curly and Sneeze seem like bastions of intelligence and interest as well as making Muffin look like a battle hardened knight of legend. He didn’t make Grim look like anything apart from the drunkard he is but then again I haven’t met anyone who doesn’t. Despite this I’m still in a remarkably good mood and I don’t know why.
Just before dusk the spider appeared near me. Still feeling fatigued I unsteadily drew my weapons preparing to go down fighting. It was then the spider spoke. He told me that it’d made a bargain with my group for my safe return (obviously why it took me; it must have sensed that they couldn’t do without me and that I wouldn’t have bargained anything for the safe return of any of the others.. maybe Grim but to be fair, he is the one carrying the Efreet brandy) and all I had to do was trust him. Well that wasn’t going to happen so I sent him back with a question for them – what happened to Salty (which I quickly had to change to Insalla – unless the others have been reading my diary they wouldn’t have known who I was talking about. Although thinking about it that may not have been a bad thing to have known). The spider quickly returned and gave me the correct answer and also a tankard with some Efreet brandy in it. At this point I was a bit concerned that the spider had killed Grim (he’s not someone who gives away good ale) but came to the conclusion that I had no choice but to trust the arachnid. It touched me once more and once more the world turned blurry and dark before we reappeared in the statue room in front of the rest of my group who had been waiting with baited breath for my return.
Once back the trade took place. It’s nice to see what the rest of the group think I’m worth; the hyper-long spear we got from the noble salamander. Whoever did those negotiations deserves a medal although they could have done better – they could have traded me for Sneeze.
I was a bit disappointed that they wouldn’t let me kill the arachnid on my return – apparently Curly had given his word that we’d perform a task for the creature in exchange for my safe return – however when I found out what the task was I felt a bit better. The spider (apparently the guardian of the tomb) wanted us to go and kill something that called itself the ‘Marquis of the River’; an undead (possibly a ghoul) that lives – is that the right word? I mean the thing is dead – that makes its abode in a cavern at the end of the ‘River of Blood’ (sounds nice). Apparently this ghoul not only fights with a great big sword but is also a powerful spell caster (maybe we could persuade him to join us – sounds more useful than Muffin – apart from the being an evil member of the undead ranks. Still Muffin isn’t exactly perfect).
With the spider good enough to point us in the right direction, we left its lair and moved through the double doors opposite where we entered and found ourselves in a small shrine. There was a door to our right and opposite was a golden statue that was illuminated by a very focussed and bright light. This statue was holding a sword in one hand and the other was covering its eyes which, closer inspection we found were blue topaz. On the wall behind was a bas-relief of Icosial standing triumphant against the armies of chaos (not sure I’m for that, although it makes me less guilty about ransacking his tomb).
We took the door and found ourselves in a very odd room. The first thing that hit was the smell – it reminded me of the air when there’s a thunder storm. The room itself was roughly circular and sloped down like a funnel to the centre of the room and an archway opposite led onto some stairs. Oh yeah; floating in a flickering ball of lightning that was hanging from the bottom of a spike protruding from the ceiling at the centre, seemingly inanimate, was a very battered and bloody Shrub-beard (might have to come up with a new name for him – his beard was very scraggly and distinctly shrubless).
Anyway, with Tramp-face being about as useful as he normally is I decided to get a closer look. Unfortunately as I stepped in the room a bolt of lightning shot at me. Sadly even lightning is too slow to catch me and I easily side-stepped out of the way and back out of the room. With the best spell-casting minds our group had to offer mulling the situation over I figured I’d make a run for it whilst I was still young enough to do it. The lightning struck out at me once more but I dodged it once more.
The stairs on the other side led down only a short way until it dropped off into a pit forty foot deep that split off into two passages. A ladder started where the stairs ended and travelled all the way to the bottom. I turned to inform the others only to find that the best spell-casting minds had come up with the genius idea of moving the statue into the lightning room (apparently it was meant to attract the lightning so people could walk through unharmed) and, in doing so had attracted the attention of the bas-reliefs that had come alive and were busy attacking them.
I sprinted back across the room but in my haste to aid my group of genius’ (and people wonder why I’m the leader) I have to say I didn’t pay as much heed to the lightning strike as I should have. As I flew through the air with smoke trailing from my ass all I could really think about was how the rather large, stone, club-like fists of the now animate bas-reliefs were getting awfully close. Then, after the thudding pain in my sternum suddenly appeared, all I could think was how the rather large, stone, club-like fists were rapidly getting further away.
As I landed I looked up in time to see Muffin get back to his sparkling best. With concentration etched on his face he uttered words of such magical power that even I was sure that the creatures would crumble beneath its might. The short version is that they didn’t. The long version is that the crackles of lightning trickled off their back like drool off Grim’s beard. Curly was busy slashing the monsters but the edge of his blade skittered across the rock with little affect. Sneeze, on the other hand (or more accurately on both of his hands) was knocking chunks out of the upperty decorations. Seeing the effectiveness of his thudding blows I decided not to run in with my kukris but rather resort to using my sling. After the dust had gotten out of my eyes I rained in blow after blow. More dust came into my eyeshot as Muffin pulled out his bow and started pinging arrows in with more accuracy than I thought he possessed (although it would explain the outcome of his shots if he was actually aiming for me) and Curly drew his dagger (a large man with a huge shield poking a stone carving is quite possibly the most amusing thing I’ve ever seen).
Despite this hindrance, the décor was soon put to sword (or more precisely dagger, arrow, fist and bullet) and we once again set about trying to figure out a way to free Tramp-face as Grim healed us through the blessings of Hanseath (it still shocks me when I feel that healing energy surge through me amplified by the worm).
I ran around to the other side of the lightning room once more only to find that the top of the pit had been sealed over. Over the buzz of the lightning ball I could hear a rush of water battering the walls beyond the barrier.
With options running out I risked the room once more and tried to disarm the trap with no success. I think I was a bit distracted thinking about the times that Salty had tried to help me. Yup, even when she isn’t here, she still manages to put me off.
With all other options exhausted I decided to allow Muffin to have a go. I don’t know what spell he cast but I do wish he’d cast it on our enemies. It doubled me over, restricted my breathing, produced a severe ache in my sides and caused my eyes to water. It rendered me absolutely helpless! It was either that or the fact that when he dispelled the ball of lightning, Tramp-face plummeted from his suspended animation to the floor cushioning his landing with his face. I’m serious – he landed right on his bearded mush. In hind sight it’s probably a good thing; at least this way he was in no danger of damaging anything important – if he’d landed on his feet he may have broken his legs and we’d have had to carry him out.
This scuppered my attempts to offer any kind of assistance but Muffin, obviously concerned for his master ran into the room and dragged Tramp-face back to Grim who brought him round. As soon as he did, I knew we’d made a mistake as he started to speak. It was worse and more inane than I remembered! Firstly he repeated what we already knew – that he’d been penned in here by a black dragon. He ran through the portal and somehow managed to make it all the way to the lightning room where he got zapped. That was the last thing he could remember.
Muffin, being the empathetic and sympathetic person he is, nodded all the way through his tale before saying, and I quote:
“Interesting… can I get some new spells off you?”
Tramp-face duely handed over his travelling spell-book which Muffin took with the giddy joy only usually seen on children the morning of their birthdays. This look was soon wiped from his mug when he actually peeked inside and saw the true limitations of his mentor.
This then brought about the second most hilarious part of the day when Tramp-face said that he had more spells in his main book which was in his house. Due to further stomach pains and watery eyes I was forced to let someone else tell him that his house had been completely destroyed by the dragon. The look on his face only furthered my inability to function for the next ten minutes.
Other than comic relief, Tramp-face did offer one piece of useful information. When I described the plains and volcano I had been abducted to, he said that it sounded like the Fields of Peche which, he clarified, was about five hundred miles north-east of Diamond Lake.
When we told Tramp-face about our investigations in the Free City and what had happened to Legless he did show some concern. He said that he agreed with Legless that we should get in touch with their old master who he named Manzorian, regarding our findings. Just when I though it was safe to unplug my ears, Muffin had to go and ask another question regarding why he left his master. Apparently they had a difference of opinion; Tramp-face wanted to go exploring (why? He’s crap at it! Anytime he goes anywhere all he wants to do is bugger off home as fast as his spells can carry him) where as his master (who sounds like a wise and intelligent man) said that he wasn’t ready.
This seemed to satisfy everyone so before anyone else could give Tramp-face another opportunity to open his trap I got Muffin to conjure another room at the top of a rope (no matter how many times or from what angle I see it, watching Grim and Curly struggle up that rope is still funny. I’m also pretty sure that Grim comes up with a new profanity on each occasion) and everyone settled down for the night. I waited until the orchestra of snores started (although Tramp-face even managed to ruin this symphony – that man has the timing of a St Cuthbite) I snuck down the rope and opened up my haversack. There sitting neatly on top were the two vials containing the worms. It took all my willpower not to quaff both, especially after the exquisite pain of the first embraced my entire, working its way down from my head. I wiped up the blood from that had dripped onto the floor from my nose and climbed dizzily back up to the chorus above.
Waterday 26th Wealsun 595
Before we’d even finished breakfast that ungrateful rat disappeared in a puff of his own arrogance. He said that he couldn’t offer us any assistance but that we should continue on as he believed the Wind-dukes could have some weapons hidden in their tombs that could aid us in our quest. If we do find any I’m going to take them and introduce Tramp-face to a game we Halflings like to call “Stab the unbelievably full-of-himself wizard with as many pointy things as you can in an attempt to produce as many different sounds out of as many different orifices as you can, both natural and newly formed, before the scumbag dies in extreme agony”. Catchy don’t you think?
Still harbouring that frustration I ran through the lightning room swiftly followed by Sneeze. The lightning trap must have some kind of intelligence as it avoided going for me and struck out at my less nimble colleague catching him just before he got to the stairs.
The slab that had blocked the pit was gone and so I started the climb down. Sneeze, in an act which I’m not sure was an attempt to intimidate me or to protect me from whatever dangers might be below (both acts equally futile) simply jumped off the edge and bounced from wall to wall all the way to the bottom.
As I reached the floor the iron slab at the top moved across blocking out the light from above. From the corridor on our left I heard the roaring sound of water rushing quickly towards us. Wasting no time we both started up the ladder keeping just ahead of the ever rising water level. We reached the top and Sneeze immediately started hammering away against the barrier. The fool wasted his time and energy though as the water level didn’t rise sufficiently high to catch us and after a few minutes it started to fall and eventually disappeared along the right-hand corridor.
Feeling that the pit was now secure we ventured down to the bottom once more and called for the others to come across. Muffin duly obliged and transported the non-runners directly to the bottom of the pit. Expecting the water to flow once more we quickly made our way along the right-hand corridor to find an iron door that Curly took extreme exception to with his adamantine sword. Beyond this was a very strange sight. To our left was a large red waterfall descending into a mixture of spray and darkness. To our right was a ledge that rimmed the room and ended in a set of stairs that led up to a wall blank wall.
Sneeze once again showed off his ever improving grasshopper impression by jumping from the door to the ledge. The rest of us who are not so insecure we need to show off every minute of the day (or for everyone else, who couldn’t actually get both feet off the ground at the same time without falling down the stairs) waited for a rope to be tied off and climbed the short distance.
Despite the old ‘stairs leading to a secret door’ trick (once again I’m unimpressed by the wind-dukes creativity) Grim suggested we head down the waterfall straight away. Paying our usual amount of attention to one of his drunken comments we headed up the stairs. The door led into a short room covered in red ice and housing six statues, all with cupped hands held out in front of them. Hovering above the hands of all but one of these were statuettes of buildings. As we neared the empty handed statue I spotted that it was standing in front of a door just before the portcullis dropped from the ceiling above me.
I dived through as iron met stone leaving Sneeze and Muffin stranded on the other side as the empty-handed statue reached out and pointed at Curly. As the black beam shot into him Curly’s ruddy face visibly paled (at one point I thought his hair was going to straighten). The three of us trapped on the right side of the portcullis (or wrong side depending on your point of view) flew at the (by now identified as a) Kolyarut Inevitable whilst Sneeze began battering his way through the portcullis.
Once more our weapons seemed ineffectual against the construct and with each touch of that creature Curly seemed to get weaker and weaker. Muffin, safe on the other side of the portal, created a huge ball of lightning and dropped it on the monster. The electricity crackled through our latest foe, jolting it from side to side. We backed away and let the electricity do its job. The inevitable fell just as the iron portcullis succumbed to Sneeze’s brutal blows.
Eager to see what such a powerful construct of law could be guarding we opened the door to find treasures beyond belief. No wait… that was another room guarded by a different creature that I dreamt of once – this one was empty… starkers… more is found in Curly’s head.
Leaving the room we slid through the archway beyond the five inanimate statues into a long room with one door at the end and a large ice encrusted statue at either end. Pondering what to do, our decision was made for us as the statues animated and attacked. These (fortunately) were identified as Ice Constructs which were chipped and melted away under our furious attacks.
As we approached the only door left un-investigated a loud… slopping (for want of a better word) was clearly audible from beyond. Stealing ourselves for another battle we opened the door only to find that the entire sunken floor of the room was covered in a (soon identified) magical pool of swirling slush. Muffin, in a fit of verbal diarrhoea, spouted some useless information about how the wind-dukes used magical creatures such as (what he explained in painful detail – seriously; it made me long for the good old days when Kullen used to beat me up for my ale money) Snow Weirds as soothsayers.
With the fact that it wasn’t hurting anyone (and more specifically not hurting us) we closed the door behind us and left it to its soothsaying before heading back to the waterfall where I decided that we should rest to allow Curly to regain his lost strength and for Grim to pray fro the blessings of Hanseath to heal our wounds.
Earthday 27th Wealsun 595
They left me to die. They actually left me to die. They saw me fall, they knew what awaited below and yet they still left me stranded down there for who knows how long with a group of the vilest undead who by all rights should have feasted on my flesh before they planned to show up and “rescue me” just a minute or two too late. Why would they be that afraid of me? Have they seen my scars? Do they know what I’ve done, what I’m becoming? They can’t know – they’d have killed me before now if they did. Unless they’re afraid of me or don’t have the stomach to do the job themselves. Maybe this was the opportunity they’d been waiting for – a guilt free way of getting rid of me. If that is the case then I can’t stay out of their proximity for any length of time in the future lest another opportunity arises.
The day started out as normal with the usual people annoying me from the off with their intense study of their spell books or vocal snivelling to gods in order to stay in their favour (don’t get me wrong, I pray as well but at least I have the courtesy to keep it brief and quiet), or with their silent meditation. Whatever I said about her, at least Salty would talk to you during breakfast.
With the daily rituals out of the way we stepped to the edge of the waterfall and, putting more trust in Muffin than I think he’s earned, jumped of the edge as he cast a spell that allowed us to float down as gently as a feather (apart from Sneeze who used the ring that Salty gave to him to try and make me jealous before she left). All was going well until the pit started to narrow which wouldn’t have been a problem until Muffin informed us that if we put a foot down then the spell would end. I’m not sure if he does it on purpose or he’s just incompetent but surely that’s something we should have known before we made this leap of faith. Thinking quickly I ordered Curly to throw up our magical rope and, as the edge sloped towards us, we all grabbed on and allowed Sneeze to guide us through the small, winding path that the blood red water had carved through the rock like a worm burrowing through the wet earth.
The passage opened out once more and formed a shallow pool on a ledge before overflowing once more falling into the darkness below. Muffin informed us that his spell was running low on time (at least he let us know before we fell to our deaths) and that this would be a good place to re-cast.
As we approached the (what turned out to be) deep pool I heard a whooshing from above. Just before I sank beneath the water I spotted six wind-warriors swooping down on us from above. I held my breath fro as long as I could before remembering that Grim had cast a spell that let us breathe water (even rank red water). By the time I was heaved out of the water by a very large Grim, the wind-warriors had fled past us down the waterfall.
Knowing that they were going to be laying in wait in some nook or cranny we steeled ourselves against the battle to come before Muffin recast his spell and we dived off the edge of the pool. Despite this preparation when the attack came it was swift and brutal. Three wind-dukes appeared next to me and slashed at me furiously with their swords. Such was the ferocity of their attack I felt I had no choice but to let go of the rope and fall to the waterfall below. Just as I was caught up in the raging torrent I saw Grim whirling his axe around his head catching three of the wind-warriors in its blurred arc.
I’m not sure how far I fell but I was buffeted around from rock to boulder and eventually out into the open air. I tried to tight myself in mid-flight but the water still impacted like concrete. I managed to remain conscious and dragged myself to the edge of the pool before I could be pulled along too much by the current. I lay on the bank trying to catch my breath when a shadow fell over me and a voice as cold as Sneeze’s personality greeted me with the chilling words:
“My friends, we have a visitor.”
I forced myself to open my eyes already fearing what I might see but my imagination hardly prepared me for the truth. Above me was a tall man that exuded the unmistakable aura of a powerful undead. This image was only exemplified by the appearance of his “friends” – four mohrgs complete with their barbed tongues and writhing viscera. I stood and back away from the group, shielding my eyes from the lantern the Marquis was shining towards me.
I knew I had to stall until the others arrived. The Marquis was obviously intelligent and so despite my disdain for undead of any kind I began a dialogue. My charm didn’t seem to work and the creatures advanced on me. I rolled up my sleeves to prepare myself for what I was convinced would be my last battle when the Marquis stopped in his tracks. He was staring intently at my arms or more specifically at the scars on my arms.
“You are tainted, yet you still live?”
I was unsure whether it was a question or a statement but I needed to keep him talking. I revealed what I had done, what I was becoming. I told him my reasons for doing it. I told him all about the scrolls and the prophecy, about the coming of the Age of Worms and Kyuss. I told him about the dreams of worms and death. I told him everything I was too afraid to tell any of my so-called friends for fear of the reprisal that would come (that they were enacting out as I spoke…?). The creature listened to the whole story without interruption and, at its end, uttered the words I have only dared dream someone would say to me:
“I understand.”
It felt like I’d been carrying Grim on my back for the past month and I’d finally put him down. This creature of unspeakable evil, a member of the undead legion had performed an act of forgiveness and altruism that even the most virtuous of my so called friends were incapable of even contemplating. With those two words my most hated enemy granted me absolution. It was almost a shame when the others flew in from the dark passage.
The sight of a flying monk dragging a holy warrior of Heironeous, an elf wearing the unmistakable garb of a wizard followed by a giant dwarf shouting profanities shook the Marquis from his reverie. The mohrgs quickly surrounded me and all lashed out with their tongues. I dodged two but, in dodging the third, I moved directly into the path of the forth. My body froze stock still as the barbed appendage roughly caressed my face. Moments later I felt a large hand touch my back and immediately the feeling came back. I attacked the nearest mohrg with all the rage I could but the creature took hold of me trying to stifle my blows. With one arm pinned in the creatures vice like grip I struck out with my free hand. As the blade sunk into the creature I suddenly felt a surge of power, the same feeling that I get when Grim casts a healing spell on me only this time the energy surged from me and into the undead monster that screamed in agony. With renewed vigour I plunged my blade in again and again, deeper and stronger with each blow until it fell.
Such was my fervour that I almost forgot about the Marquis who had opened out his cape and risen in the air above the river. Cackling the creature pointed a wand at Muffin and shot out a beam that struck unerringly. If possible he turned whiter than usual. The beam struck once more before he took sanctuary behind Grim.
At this point Sneeze flew up and engaged the creature in aerial combat. Within seconds though Sneeze had succumbed to the paralyzing effects of the Marquis’ touch. With the last of the mohrgs falling beneath Curly’s blade, it was with a heavy heart that I unslung my sling and sent a bullet shooting to the heart of the beast that had exonerated me. I swear it smiled before its lifeless eyes voided themselves of what little spark they had.
I sank to my knees in a mixture of relief and regret and looked up just in time to see the body start to glow. Suddenly a green force seemed to tear itself away from the body that instantly fell into the water. The spectre grinned as it swooped towards us. Its offence was short lived however as with one mighty swing of his sword Curly vanquished the remnants of my unlikely saviour.
We searched the cavern to try see if we could find any of these weapons that the wind-dukes were meant to have created but to little avail. We did find a large round crystal that had three runes written in the wind-duke language on it. Muffin tried to identify it but said that the item was too powerful for his magic to penetrate. Carefully Curly picked it up to put it in a sack but as he laid a hand on it smoke started to form around it. We backed away as the smoke dissipated to reveal two large dark-skinned humanoids that almost immediately disappeared. Muffin, still weakened by the wand summoned up what little reserves he had left and sprayed the entire area in a sparkling dust that settled on the monsters making them visible and seemingly blind. We picked these poor unfortunates off with ease before prodding the gem into a bag with the end of Curly’s sheath.
The others are asleep now and it’s taking all my willpower not to slit each one of their treacherous throats. Where in the nine hells were they? They should have been there moments after me. I even feared that they may have been slain by the wind-warriors but now I know the truth; they were hoping that the creatures at the end of the river would finish off what the fall started. They would have thought that their entrance was timed so that I could see them riding to my “rescue” just before I fell into that long sleep. Oh how they underestimated me, thinking me witless enough to silently succumb to their death-trap. One good thing has come out of all this though – at least I know none of them has the guts to do it themselves. It is in this knowledge that I am going to sleep soundly in my enemy’s camp tonight, and every night until I deem it time to end the relationship.
Starday 1st Richfest 595
I didn’t write in the diary yesterday as I wasn’t feeling to well; I’d contracted a mild case of death. I’m feeling loads better today though.
Yesterday started well enough with everyone having to wait around until Grim and Muffin shook off the effects of the wand that the Marquis had used on them and so we didn’t get moving until after lunch (or breakfast in Grim’s case). I decided that we should investigate the multitude of nooks and crannies that were dotted around on the waterfall and also decided that the best way to do this would be for Muffin to fly up there alone and scout them out before transporting the rest of us up should anything of interest be found. What he discovered was very interesting indeed.
He came back and informed us that he’d found a secret door at the end of one of the passages which, after getting transported up there and me checking them out for any traps, we opened up to discover a set of carved stairs leading up. We followed these until we came to another door which opened up into a chamber with the most impressive set of doors I’ve ever seen. These things were massive and shiny. Grim identified them as being made out of adamantine.
We approached them in order to try and read the multiple runes and inscriptions but as we did I suddenly started to shake uncontrollably. Every part of my body felt as though it was having its own mini earthquake only the aftershocks kept rumbling on. I turned to see that Grim and Muffin were suffering the same but Curly and Sneeze seemed unaffected.
Despite this (or more likely due to the fact that he gets the shakes on a fairly regular basis, if for a different reason) Grim ventured forward and touched the door whilst casting a spell in order to interpret the language. Most of the runes were curses against the forces of chaos but a set at the centre that crossed both doors were slightly more flowery:
“Dare not enter the tomb of Icosial, Lord of Aaqu, wandering Duke, bearer of the Rod of Law. His righteous peace and glorious memory are best left to the ages and his enemies are best left forever sleeping.”
Ignoring this completely, Sneeze (the person we deemed most like the wind-dukes i.e. the most boring) reached into my haversack and pulled out the runed crystal and held it towards the doors. As the smoke poured from it, Sneeze uttered three words that he later said had simply appeared in his mind: Aqaa, Icosial, Peche. The smoke instantly disappeared (as did my shakes) and slowly the doors opened up to reveal a room that reminded me of the stepping stones across the river I used to play in as a child, only these weren’t stepping stones and the consequences for missing a step seemed a bit more severe than a wet bum. Pillars of increasing height whose base disappeared into mist below were spaced along the length of this entire chamber. At the end of this gauntlet was a ledge in front of another set of huge shiny double doors.
Deciding that Grim and Curly were particularly ill equipped to hop from pillar to post Muffin (whose limitations were about to cost us big time) once again transported everyone apart from Sneeze across to the far side. Sneeze then used the cloak we’d taken from the Marquis to fly across after us. As he took off the mist began to stir and as quick as the wind, up shot two huge creatures seemingly made of the air itself and clubbed him with massive airy appendages. Sneeze managed to adroitly dodge around them and flew to where the rest of us were cramped together on the ledge. Knowing there was no way that we could fight these creatures in these tight conditions I jumped to the nearest pillar. As my feet touched down I managed to get my balance just in time feel the pillar start to collapse. As I feared I would fall into the mist Grim frantically prayed to Hanseath for a miracle. One came in the form of a stone platform that melded into another pillar and the ledge on which they were standing.
I managed to get to the safety of this scaffold just as the (now identified as) air elementals wound themselves up (literally) into massive whirlwinds. I tried to dodge out of their way but the strength of the tornado sucked me in. I realise now that I stood no chance of avoiding this as the pull was that strong they even managed to pick up Grim and Curly (although the one that picked up Grim barely had the strength to do lift his girth and as such didn’t have the resources left to even lift Muffin’s girly frame). As I was spun violently around I was un aware that the creatures had moved at all so it came as a bit of a shock when they stopped and we found ourselves in mid air at the centre of the room. There was the briefest of seconds in which we seemed to hang before I started to plummet. Just before I disappeared into the mist I spotted Muffin casting and Grim and Curly seemingly halt their descent.
I tried to right myself as I fell for who knows how far (I was later told five hundred feet so I guess everyone knows) but I was unable to see the ground through the mist and so the impact, when it came, was huge. I felt and heard several ribs snapping on impact and my head split open pouring blood and violently as the waterfall. For several moments I tried to regain at least some of the breath that had been forced from me before gingerly standing on legs that at least one of was broken.
The sounds of battle could be heard above and seemed to be getting louder as I staggered around the edge of the room looking in vain for a way out. I circled the entire room with no luck so I decided to put myself in as defensible position as I could and wait for the elementals to come and finish me off. When they came however, they were not alone. I heard Grim’s cursing, Curly’s grunting and Sneeze’s screaming as they continued the battle that had raged the entire depth of the pit. Muffin, coward and traitor that he is, had remained above out of all danger.
I started to move out to help but something inside wouldn’t let me go. A voice inside me spoke. It reminded me that it was these people that had let me fall to my death. That they, in league with Muffin, had saved themselves from the fate they saw fit to impart on me; it would be right and just that they die at the hands of the very creatures they probably summoned to kill me. Another thought wiped the grin that I didn’t even know I’d formed from my face; without these people I was stuck down here and would eventually starve to death. I went against the voices of vengeance and made my way to the sounds of battle, a decision that proved fatal. Obviously still under control of whichever one of the traitorous scum that summoned them the creatures struck me with all there might.
Next there was blackness. Death was not how I’d imagined it. There was no light, no colour, no Hanseath to guide me to that giant party in the sky. Only eternal, infinite black. Well, not quite; more temporary then eternal, which was a surprising bonus!
Even more surprising was the source of the brief nature of my demise. It was Grim who brought me back. The person I feared was leading the coup against me. Why would he bring me back when he’d got what he wanted? Someone else must be pulling the strings and whoever it is, they must be raging with Grim. This could give me the opportunity to find out – whoever is frosty with Grim, that’s my man. I know why he brought me back though – jealousy. He didn’t want me to be in the blessed company of Hanseath before him. I knew he was envious of my connection with our deity but I didn’t realise his feelings ran deep enough to defy his mortal master, whoever that may be.
When I woke up we were once again up one of Muffin’s extra-dimensional rooms. Everyone else was, and is still, asleep. I looked outside and the surrounding mist let me know that we were still at the bottom of the pit although when Muffin finally got the guts to come down is something I’ll have to find out.
According to Grim it was just after Curly shouted up that the elementals were dead. He’s my new front runner. Sure he took the softly, softly approach but he’s not going to catch this monkey, not now. He had his chance, which to be fair he took, but it wasn’t good enough. A good leader should be in full control of those under them – no surprise he’s not one. Still I mustn’t underestimate him; after all that’s what he did to me. Other than exposing Muffin for what he is, one other thing has come from my death; I might be able to turn Grim back to me. Even if his motives were selfish, his actions mean that he’s not completely under Muffin’s spell… Spell? Is that it? Is that how he’s controlling the others? Has he cast some kind of dweomer on them! Clearly whatever he’s tried hasn’t worked on me and Grim is slowly breaking its hold. Perhaps the same might happen with the other two, although I don’t hold out much hope of Curly having the strength of mind to manage it.
When everyone was up, suited and booted, the latest pretender to my throne transported us back to the top of the pillars where we tried to find a way to open the second set of massive doors. Knowing the expense the wind-dukes had previously gone to to put false doors in stupid places I joked that this might be another example of their decadent and wasteful nature. Many a true word is spoken in jest. On the top of one of the pillars we found a circular indentation which even Curly could work out the crystal we’d found would fit into. As soon as the crystal hit the stone the pillar started to rise. It continued to climb high up to the top of the chamber halting only a few feet from the ceiling. As our lift came to a halt our ascent continued. We rose up until our heads came within inches of the rock above before suddenly found ourselves in different room.
This room had all the hallmarks of a tomb; that is to say it had a sarcophagus in it. The walls were decorated with pictures of a funeral procession filled with all manner of creatures associated with air and law. The sarcophagus itself was suspended in the air on the far side of the tomb, a life-size carving on its lid showed Icosial at rest, his two swords lying on his chest.
We stepped in the room, my worries regarding Muffin fading with the awe of the chamber. That feeling was son also completely faded when, out of nowhere, a large red demon with eyes covering its entire body appeared in front of us. Licking its lips it stepped forward, squishing several eyes on the soles of his feet with each pace.
I love this journal. I want more.
Starday 1st Richfest 595 cont.
The beast wasted little time in eying (get it!) us up before spreading its arms wide, an action that resulted in multiple images of itself appearing around it, before shooting black rays out of three of its eyes catching Curly, Grim and Muffin with the crackling of negative energy. They all seemed to shrug this off and as one we advanced on the beast…No wait… yep, I remember now; I was the only one who advanced on the beast. I think Sneeze started to but before he moved he became frozen in place. Grim raised a tankard to the air and slurred some words in praise to Hanseath and Curly seemed to become fascinated with Sneeze and started prodding him. Muffin, scum that he is, at least did something pointful, producing a sphere of acid on the oculus demon (he even managed it with his eyes closed claiming he didn’t want to make eye contact. Not sure he had anything to worry about; I’m pretty sure the demon didn’t want to make eye contact with him either – it’d have been too afraid that Muffin might take this as a sign and engage it in conversation, a fate way worse than any spell the blue haired Tramp-face wannabe could possibly cast).
I closed the distance on the beast and slashed away with my kukri’s trying my best not to shield my gaze
from the beast but I only managed to destroy one of its false images. Sneeze, who obviously being boosted by my presence had overcome his stage-fright, waded in with flurry after flurry of blows aimed that the creature but only had as much success as myself. As I slashed away I suddenly felt my blows becoming faster. Muffin was putting in a sterling display for us and, for the briefest of moments, a slight doubt as to the black nature of his character almost crept in. The door on that though was firmly shut as the beast shot him with another beam and, with his usual masculinity, he screamed and disappeared from the room in a puff of his own cowardice.
Struggling to discern the beast from its images Curly did something that, although bourn out of extreme stupidity turned out to probably be the smartest thing he’s ever done; he closed his eyes. Now, not sure what his logic was but it turned out that by removing his eyes from the decision making process and just rely on his instinct he was able to slash through the images and straight to the beast itself. The notion that something this genius had emerged from Curly’s brain made me go wide eyed with shock, a mistake that the beast took advantage of. He locked my gaze and shot a beam towards me. Instantly I was overcome with a nausea only rivalled by the time I let Grim in the kitchen of the Feral Dog.
I somehow managed to swallow down the bile, close my eyes and continue my attacks joined by the rest of my group that were left in the room. The ferocity of our unsighted attacks soon forced the creature to retreat into a corner. Buoyed by its obvious fear I pursued with renewed fervour fully expecting my allies to join me. Sadly it seems I was expecting too much. Curly, Sneeze and Grim all stood back and took a break from the battle. Curly and Sneeze would later claim that the beast had struck them with such power that they were forced to focus their inner energies in order to heal themselves but I know the truth; they simply spotted another opportunity to get rid of me guilt free. They must think my wits as stunted as theirs.
Grim however showed further signs of breaking Muffin’s hold over him by contributing something useful. Channelling the power of Hanseath he threw a tankard full of ale over the demon and his images. As soon as the liquid came into contact with the true form of the beast its images melted into nothing.
Out of the corner of my eye I spotted the blue-haired wimp (who’s at least smart enough to know that he can’t trust his minions to finish me off) reappear in the room. Of course this act of bravery was tempered by the fact that he was conveniently as far away from the beast as he could be without leaving the room.
With this re-emergence and with the demons primary defence mechanism disabled, Curly and Sneeze suddenly finished their so-called healing and waded back into melee. In desperation the beast shot beam after black beam from its eyes at anyone it could lay sight on (which was pretty much everyone) before finally succumbing to a thunderous blow from Curly’s sword.
My immediate thought was to turn my rage onto my truest enemy but with the battering that I’d taken from the demon through the inactions of my once and future comrades forced me to hold my vengeance in check… for today at least. I settled for resting and watching as Sneeze used the cloak once more to fly up to where the sarcophagus hung. Embossed on the top was the figure of (what we assumed to be) Icosial only this time, instead of the two swords crossing his body his hands were cupped as if holding an object that wasn’t there. It didn’t even take Curly long to realise that the crystal would fit (although the look of realisation only dawned on his gormless face after we plucked it from the pillar.
As Sneeze placed the crystal in the awaiting hands the top of the sarcophagus shimmered and disappeared leaving the crystal floating in mid air above the now dusty remains of the once High-lord of the wind-dukes. The poignancy was lost on the others but not on me. This man, a great leader who had believed it was his destiny to dedicate his life to one impossible mission and nearly succeeded during his time in this mortal lay in here forgotten and crumbled into dust as was the kingdom he ruled. He surrendered everything to save not only himself and his kind from the denizens of chaos but to save all those who didn’t even know that his species had ever roamed the same world as them. And yet somehow I know that none of that would matter to him. Not the fact that his ultimate sacrifice was unknown to almost everyone it saved; not the fact that his species is all but wiped out; and not that we were here now looting his tomb. All that mattered to him was his mission and the protection and safety of every living creature on the planet from his mortal enemies.
This realisation cast a bright light on my actions! What have I been doing? Why have I been being so petty? So what if Muffin wants the leadership of the group; so what if he has the rest of them under some kind of mind-controlling spell; so what if they all want me dead. They’ll get their wish sooner or later whether it be by their own hands, the hands of some monstrous being or through the ravages of time. None of it matters. The world won’t remember. My deeds and my life will be as dust and the world will not remember me, my actions or my death. But none of that matters! What does matter is that the world survives so that people can form their own memories from their own time. But in order for that to happen I need to refocus; I need to remember what I’m here for! What my destiny is! I am here to stop another force bent on the worlds destruction and, like Icosial, I must be willing to put my life and my petty worries behind me in order for to see this completed. I must see the bigger picture.
I am here to see to it that Kyuss doesn’t rise… by any means necessary. It doesn’t matter that Deree Silentfoot won’t go into the annals of history as the saviour of the world. What will matter is that the world will be saved. Who knows, maybe someday someone will raid my tomb and gain inspiration from my unsung deeds but even that is almost meaningless. All that matters is that I see to it that that person has a world in which to raid my grave.
I almost lost myself in these thoughts. I barely noticed Sneeze take Icosial’s swords, ring and what looked like the end piece of an ornate staff before resealing the sarcophagus. It was only when we arrived at the lightning room that I was brought back to reality. Muffin once again pitifully tried to get rid of me by letting me run through once more before transporting everyone else across. I couldn’t help but laugh. He’s so narrow minded that he doesn’t realise the bigger picture. I’ll still have to keep an eye on him; after all, I can’t stop the Age of Worms if I’m dead.
We decided to rest up in another of Muffin’s rooms on a rope before we confronted the spider (another creature I now can’t summon up the desire to hate) and finished checking out the rest of the tomb.
Sunday 2nd Richfest 595
Muffin was up half the night (and not just because Grim snored like a gutted wild boar) studying the fragment of staff we’d found and had come to the conclusion that it was a part of the legendary Rod of Seven Parts (so famous that he’s the only one who’s heard of it). Not sure what that means but he seemed… well, giddy at the prospect.
The spider also seemed fairly giddy (or whatever the arachnid equivalent is… spiddy?) with our presentation of the Marquis’ head. It returned the spear to us before disappearing once more into the shadowy realm it called home (I used to have a home… it wasn’t much; only a cart at the back of a rundown inn but at least it wasn’t grey. I wonder how Lavender’s doing. Seems like years since I’ve seen the old girl).
With the spider gone we wasted little time in opening the single door in its room. This led into a small shrine that had a couple of unusual features: firstly there was a suit of armour standing opposite (fortunately I was fast enough to explain to Curly that there was no-one actually in it before he demolished it) and a door painted on the side wall. What in the hells is their obsession with doors? I mean they’re every-bloody-where and most of them lead no-bloody-where. Why couldn’t they have had an obsession with something useful like diamonds or weapons or cake.
Whilst I was pondering the lack of baked goods something visited through the door, and without the courtesy of knocking. Although how a very large incorporeal undead creature knocks on a fake door I wouldn’t know so maybe it was more an inability to perform the task than a lack of manners. Either way it came as a bit of a shock when (what was later identified as) the dread wraith suddenly appeared next to me and lashed out with one of its black limbs. It obviously hadn’t heard the legend of Deree Silentfoot otherwise it would have known to pick on one of the others. The realisation hit it too late as I dodged the blow and reciprocated with one of my own that struck deep into its arm.
Obviously realising exactly who it was dealing with the ghost wannabe disappeared back through the door and out of sight. With the confines of the room allowing the undead to slip in and out without fully exposing itself I ordered people back into the larger spider room where we positioned ourselves around Muffin in the centre of the room. The wraith continued its ht and run tactics but sadly for it our hits were a lot harder and our runs a lot faster… wait, it didn’t quite come out right… I’m going to stop now.
The bottom line was that the wraith went from undead all the way to plain old dead leaving us with only the double doors opposite (where we were promised the xorns would be) left to explore on the lower level. We opened them up to the roaring sound of the River of Blood rushing through the chamber the other side of which was another set of double doors. A crumbling bridge offered a less than appealing path across which we declined in favour of Muffin Transports Ltd.
As soon as we landed some of the weirdest looking creatures I’d ever seen (well at least since the time I was unfortunate enough to catch a look at Muffin as he came out of the wash room wearing nothing but a towel and a smile – both of which very regrettably fell) appeared from the rock. I don’t really know what I expected xorns to look like but it certainly wasn’t this. I mean what type of creature had three
three legs? I did once know a guy called ‘Tripod’ Jones but I’m not sure that’s the same thing.
Anyway three legs or not these things had worse balance than Grim after a four day binge, a fact that Sneeze took full advantage of. Legs were flying everywhere as these things went from tripod to timber before being pummelled to death as they tried to stand. I have to say I didn’t think Sneeze was quite that ruthless but he beat those flailing mounds of arms and legs like he was clubbing baby owlbears.
With Sneeze’s bashing spree combined with Grim’s newly found spinning axe attacks (not sure whether he does it on purpose or he just over reaches; either way the method has merit) and Curly’s old ‘stick the large sharp metal thing in my hands in the thing directly in front of me what is trying to hit me’ technique the xorns were soon no more.
You know I wrote before about how I respected Icosial and what he’d stood for; well I’ve changed my mind. I hate the wind-dukes and all their stupid race ever believed in, especially doors! When I eventually settle down my house is having nothing but archways. If I never see another door my whole life I’ll die a happy, happy, ecstatic person. My sudden loathing to this particular method of baring an entry has come about through an intense session of aversion therapy where by I was subjected to four, count them four, doors that appeared to be trapped (but weren’t) that led not to the lost treasure of the wind-dukes or the lair of the most foul beast ever to have ravaged the world we live in; no! They led to a stone wall! A stone-bloody-wall! A blank, sodding, common as you like stone-bloody-wall!
Such was not only my… annoyance doesn’t really come close to how we felt but I don’t really have the words to describe it. Grim I think probably does but I’m obviously not as eloquent as he is… that Grim decided he didn’t want to spend anymore time in this place than was absolutely necessary. With that he poured himself several large tankards of ale which disappeared faster than Tramp-face when confronted by a little girl armed with a skipping rope before plonking himself down on the floor and slurring a lot of what we assumed were questions to Hanseath regarding the nature of what was left in this forsaken tomb and whether it was worth us looking around the rest of it. Our god answered his prayers with a resounding ‘get the hell out before you die of frustration’… either that or Grim lied (either was fine with me) and we left the Whispering Cairn; hopefully forever.
Moonday 3rd Richfest 595
I thought long and hard about two things last night. Firstly I think I’m going to keep Icosial’s short sword. Not only can it do funky things like electrocute people when you hit them and let you fly (hah! Try dropping me off a five hundred foot cliff now!) but I’ve reconsidered my latest opinion of him. After all he didn’t build his own tomb so can’t really be blamed for the anger I’m still overcoming about that, and I feel it would be apt if I used the weapon of a legendary champion that had saved the world previously to do so again. That way the sword would be ingrained into the stories of two legendary heroes!
As for the second thing I’ve been wondering; is murder still against the law as I feel it my duty to kill Tramp-face before he tries to kill me and my group again. He’s been trying to ever since we met. Think about it! He sent us into the Whispering Cairn the first time we met him. He then tried to bore us to death on that journey to Blackwall Keep and when we got there he abandoned us to the mercy of an army of lizardmen. He then sent us to that metropolis of assassins that is the Free City and, when we survived that, lured us back into the cairn where he almost succeeded what he started all those months ago by frustrating us to death with doors that lead nowhere. I'm thinking self-defense is a well justified defence in this case your honour.
I am however putting a positive spin on this as I feel this actions shows that he thinks that I’m going to fulfil my destiny; he must have had some foresight as to my true providence in stopping the prophecy of the coming of Kyuss and his army of worms and so has been trying to kill me and my group before I could succeed. This would however mean that he is an agent of Kyuss and if that is the case, why haven’t I sensed the stench ridden aura emanating from his inadequate, pasty body? He does wear that magical tiara all the time – maybe that blocks his innate evil essence from escaping. When Muffin and the others head to the Free City to sell the treasure we’d managed to acquire from the cairn, I think I’ll have to have a private word with his boss.
Once again i'm sorry to say that the GM is taking a break and so i won't be posting any more of the diary for a while. I've been pestering him to run for longer but (i hate to say it) the last adventure has been a bit of a slog for both players and the GM (who bears a lot of the players frustrations) so he feels a rest would be beneficial to both. The break (hopefully) won't be as long as the last one and i will be pestering for him to run it again sooner rather than later.
As always i thank you for taking the time to read this diary and also thank you for your comments which are always welcome, both positive and negative.
Cheers
Deree (aka Steve)
ps - if you'd like to join in my pestering contact Darthloser (aka the GM), Azaroth (aka Muffin) and DMaple (aka Grim) (Curly doesn't really use paizo that much - can't find the 'Any' key to start) and, using either flowery prose or threats of violence (either's fine by me), persuade them that this needs to be run to a finish... just don't let them know i had anything to do with it... what? They can read this as well? ..... Bugger!
Yes we're back by, well, no demand what-so-ever! After a two year gap our gm has finally overcome the stress from the pillar room saga and has picked up the campaign once again. For how long, who knows? But i hope you enjoy it as much as i do whilst it lasts.
Yours
Deree
Godsday 4th Richfest 595
Went to see Tak, Lavender and the Feral Dog last night to see how they’d faired during the dragon attack. The door was hanging off one hinge; rubble was strewn everywhere; broken bits of furniture spread across the blood-stained, splintered floor. It was good to see that at least one building had got away unscathed. Lavender too was in surprisingly good spirits. Apparently Tak has put him to work pulling carts filled with rubble.
The others convinced me that I’d better come along with them to the Free City, what with all the trouble we’d gotten into last time we visited. Grudgingly I agreed. I had been looking forward to some quality time away from them but if I stayed here the way I’m feeling now then they’d get back and find myself dancing a long, merry Jig on Tramp-face’s cold, cold badly mutilated corpse.
Waterday 5th Richfest – Earthday 6th Reaping 595
Ok I have to admit that the journey there, the brief stop and the Journey back wasn’t that bad. I’d forgotten how civilised (and I do use the term loosely where Grim is concerned) we could all be when we’re not being screwed over by Tramp-face or sword deep in giant worms. I enjoyed myself that much that I even bought Grim a present (which caused all sorts of problems when Muffin asked why no-one had got him anything for his birthday which had been on the 5th Richfest – the day after the two full moons. Kinda sums Muffin up – arrives just after the really significant event has happened). It was a mug that keeps refilling itself with dwarven ale. I thought it was the least I could do since he did buy me my rosewood travel writing desk.
After a mercifully brief and uneventful stay in the city we made our way back to Diamond Lake to see if Tramp-face had managed to garner anymore about the Age of Worms.
Freeday 7th Reaping 595
It was just as Grim was struggling to climb out of the dog pit (someone thought it’d be funny to convince Grim that that was where Tak kept the finest ale... Ok, I thought it’d be funny to convince Grim that that was where Tak kept the finest ale... I was right. The hilarity of him tumbling down was only equalled by his screams of dismay when he realised that there was no ale at the bottom and then exceeded by his pathetic drunken attempts at getting out before, around an hour later, the sounds of snoring echoed up) when Muffin came in looking for us (he’d stayed with Tramp-face in his temporary digs). Apparently Tramp-face wanted to see us as he had some more info regarding the Age of Worms.
I don’t like being summoned but thought that if he did have something to help our quest I’d better go. I can’t really rely on any of the others to disseminate the information properly.
“Friends you have come back” was the rather odd greeting he gave us.
“Mortal enemies who I would like to see rotting as wormy undead minions under my control, you have come back in order for me to screw you over some more” would have been more apt but hey, each to their own.
Also he wasn’t alone. He had a (what turned out to be female) dwarf standing next to him. She/he/it is prettier than Grim (although that is like saying pit-sweat tastes better than ball-sweat) so I suppose she/he/it could be a woman of sorts.
Less surprising than the greeting and the company was the revelation that he, in fact, could not help us and that we would have to go to his and Legless’ master, Manzorian. He was able to give us his location – a coastal town called Magepoint. He would send word ahead so that we would be expected if we went to an inn called “The All Seeing Eye”.
He then introduced us to his new companion, Dalgunn Stouthammer. He said that since it seemed unlikely that Salty would be returning to aid our quest, he’d taken it upon himself to find us a replacement. Warning bells went off immediately. I could see it in his eyes. He may as well have put a black cape round him/her and cackled insanely it was so obvious that she/he was a spy. Grim did make me smirk somewhat when he suggested that the party could use him/her as we’d been without a cook for some time now. I thought Sheheit was going to feed him something, although I’m not sure how appetising it would have been.
It was then I started to feel that tug from the bottom of my backpack. I hadn’t felt it since we’d left for the Free City but with the onset of even this small amount of stress the craving began again. I tried to push it to the back of my mind (probably not the best turn of phrase considering that that seems to be where they end up) whilst Tramp-face explained that he’d graciously provide horses but wouldn’t be coming with us. He needed to stay to oversee the rebuilding of his precious home – a task apparently more important than the salvation of the world. Well, he wouldn’t need to be with us – not with his spy successfully infiltrated into our ranks.
It was with the brief lightness that had entered my heart during our trip away fully extinguished that I led the team out of Diamond Lake once more.
Starday 8th Reaping 595
My suspicions about Sheheit have been confirmed today. I subtly quizzed him/her on its relationship with Tramp-face and only got vague, mumbling answers. Something about her tracking some undead through the Cairn Hills and stumbling across our fair town where someone pointed her in his direction. He/she then tried to offer her axe as some kind of proof: on its side were carved the dwarven runes for “Death Slayer”. I bet I’ve eaten more undead than he/she’s slain.
Sunday 9th Reaping 595
It’s started again. They’re all turning against me once more. Why do they want me gone so badly? Have I not sacrificed enough to prove my dedication to the cause? Or perhaps they are set upon a quest different from my own? Or worse, can they sense the taint inside as it grows. Once again this evening I found myself thrusting my hands into the depths of my backpack trying to find the cold glassy vial that contains my relief. It was only when it slipped from my sweat-soaked hands that I stopped myself. I must resist that temptation as long as possible. I cannot let myself succumb to the worm until it is absolutely necessary. I only have one more vial left.
Today started out as many others. I managed to get some sleep even while Sheheit was on watch but only because Curly had taken it with him/her. He is many things; stupid, gormless, naive, stupid (so stupid it’s worth mentioning twice) but even he’d realize something was up if Sheheit started slitting peoples’ throats.
Anyway it was mid-afternoon when it happened. We were riding along the road when out of (literally) nowhere a huge firey winged beast with teeth as long and sharp as daggers (Muffin would later inform us that it was some kind of Pit Fiend. Have you ever noticed that ‘Friend’ and ‘Fiend’ are spelt devilishly similar?) appeared.
“I am Visciannix. Give me the rod!!!”
It closed on us and I could feel its terrifying aura washing over me. Its eyes seemed to burn right through me to my darkest fear and illuminated it with such strength that I seemed to lose all mine; and I wasn’t the only one.
Myself, Grim and Sneeze as one fled from the terrible beast just as it summoned another bat-winged creature. Smaller but equally fearsome with a long spiked chain which it started to whirl about its head which seemed to summon a fireball that engulfed all, man and beast.
What seemed like hours, but I’ve been assured was only seconds, later the fear left me as suddenly as it had arrived. Curly would later tell me that the pit-fiend let out a cry of despair before vanishing with a ‘pop’. By the time I returned to the combat there was another skeletal devil with a scorpion like tail. Both creatures seemed intent on getting to Sneeze, the holder of the piece of rod we found in Icosial’s tomb, but Curly and Sheheit we busy laying into the winged demon (until it took off that is although that did nothing to stop the lightning that Muffin was summoning from striking both of them) which only left the now flying Osyluth for us.
I decided to test out Icosial’s sword and took flight after the flying skeleton trying to position myself so that it would be trapped between Sneeze and I but as I approached I was once again stung with the overwhelming sense of fear and fled once more. I could see Grim and Sneeze being gripped by the same feeling only Curly cured Grim of his with one spell and Grim cured Sneeze of his with another. Me? No, not I! Like Muffin before them they decided to save another over me. They left me to my fate. As I ran this time, I wasn’t sure whether it was just the fear that drove me or the all too familiar taste of betrayal.
It was as my thoughts reached their darkest when a shaft of light shone in the guise of Sneeze. He was coming after me. Could it really be that the group had not completely turned on me? As he grappled me to halt my flight I felt that all might not be as grave as I thought. That was until the Osyluth appeared right next to us. The realisation struck me that Sneeze hadn’t come for me at all; he’d come so I could protect him. I couldn’t bring myself to aid him. Fear and despair gripped my hearts in equal measure as I watched him strike the beast down after which I was left with only despair.
Moonday 10th Reaping 595
With the horses dead we managed to walk to Undre, a small town that makes Diamond Lake look respectable, and purchase some horses before continuing our journey on foot.
No-one has mentioned the previous days battle although I know they must talk about it when I can’t hear. I can only imagine what they are saying and how they are trying to absolve themselves of responsibility for my actions and what a coward I must be. To the depths of the lowest hell with the lot of them!!!!
On the plus side, Grim seems to like the mug I bought him. Possibly a little too much. I think the walk to Undre would have taken half the time if he hadn’t been careening from one side of the road to the other all the way.
Godsday 11th Reaping 595
A couple of stone-giants started a fight which we ended... quickly. Sheheit seemed to have a bit of a thing against them. She/he was off his/her horse and in their faces... ok, shins, so quick that Grim barely had time to wipe the froth form his mouth. She/he was effective though taking one of them down with three mighty blows of his/her axe. Curly and Grim dispatched the other with the help of some rays of lightning from Muffin.
Waterday 12th Reaping 595
Around lunchtime we spotted Magepoint in the distance. Just off shore from it there seemed to be a tower of some sort on a small island. As we approached we could see that it was joined to the main line by a causeway that lay just above the choppy seas. One of the gate guards informed us that that was where Manzorian (apparently he’s a great archmage which begs the question how did he teach two next to useless wannabes as Tramp-face and Legless?) lived. Curly being Curly assumed that as the guard knew where Manzorian lived, he must be a close, personal friend and proceeded to ask if he knew if the archmage was home. The guard, unsurprisingly, did not know that bit of information but did give us directions to the “All Seeing Eye”.
As we wandered through the town it became apparent that it had an unusual amount of adventuring types in. Gangs of heavily armed and armoured people of all races meandered their way through the streets.
It didn’t take long to find the “All Seeing Eye”, a pub with surprisingly disappointing views considering what it has the cheek to call itself. Grim near ran to the bar to get a sample (ok, barrel) of the local ale whilst the rest of us looked around for the supposed contact that Tramp-face had arranged however it was they who spotted us. It was pretty much the last person I expected to see other than Tramp-face himself deciding that he was going to be useful. It was Moony! I hadn’t expected to see her again, not after we turned down her advances regarding the Champion’s Games. She seemed quite pleased to see us and said that she even had a surprise waiting in the back. Now as flattering as this proposal may have been, I didn’t really want to take her up on it what with the others being present and all. I was thinking on ways I could break it gently when she opened the curtain to a private booth. Sitting behind the table was THE last person I’d expected to see other than Tramp-face himself deciding that he was going to be useful and this was mainly due to the fact that the last time we’d seen him he was dead. Legless himself was sat there along with an elf named Cymria.
Legless explained that Moony had brought his body to Magepoint as his master was a close friend of the high-priest here. This man then raised him from the dead and whilst he’d been recovering he’d received word from Tramp-face about our coming. He also informed us that his master had needed to go to a place called Arcadia to finish his research about the coming of the Age of Worms and would be back in a few days. In the meantime we would be his guests at this inn and that anything we wanted would be on the house. Later that night it was Grim who was on the house... naked... proclaiming his love for fish, beer and Hanseath and then trying to justify why he’d put Hanseath third. And then trying to justify why he’d put beer second... his argument for fish being first however, was quite compelling.
Earthday 13th – Freeday 14th Reaping 595
I spent these two days mulling over the betrayal and conspiracy as well as doing a little shopping. It turns out that Magepoint has more to offer than its size suggests. There were a number of magic item emporiums and I was able to get a pretty good deal on a protection amulet and some potions.
Muffin the betrayer spent most of his time in the local temple which, as it’s a temple to Boccob, doubles as a library which is run by the head-librarian Agath. Oh yeah; he’s also a priest. Grim the betrayer spent his time getting drunk; Sneeze the betrayer spent his time not getting drunk; Curly the betrayer spent his time wondering how to get drunk; and Sheheit the betrayer spent his/her time trying to stop Grim pinching his/her posterior whilst he was drunk.
Starday 15th Reaping 595
Legless and Moony came to see us today. Turns out Manzy’s back and he wants to meet us straight away so we can get on with saving the world from a wormy doom. Oh wait. Sorry! That’s what you’d think would happen, but no. They came to see us as Manzy’s back and wants to see us tomorrow...around noon. Apparently the destruction of life as we know it isn’t a good enough reason to shuffle a few things around to fit into your schedule the one group of people who are trying to do something about it. I guess now I can see where Tramp-face gets it from.
They did tell us how to get to his castle though... they said we should walk. That’s astounding! I never would have thought of that. You know what? Until they said that I was going to make a swim for it. Why am I surrounded by useless ingrates whose brains I know are functioning only by the fact that they’re constantly coming up with new ways to either kill me or annoy the worms out of me?
Sunday 16th Reaping 595
Was it worth the wait? Well the world didn’t end so I guess it wasn’t all bad. Manzy has been a bit more useful than his pupils although as archmages go I have to say I was a little disappointed with his level of knowledge. I was impressed, however, by his collection of magic paraphernalia. More on that later.
Taking the advice of Leglees, we used the radical mode of transport known as “walking” to get across the causeway and into Manzy’s castle. When we got there we were ushered into a study adorned with landscape paintings of all manner of scenes that seemed to span the entire world. Behind a desk at the end sat a surprisingly young looking man (considering how bad Legless and Tramp-face look) Legless introduced as Manzy and a slightly younger but infinitely more grumpy looking man he introduced as Agath, the librarian-priest who’d had enough spare time to waste that he’d brought Legless back to life.
Before we started, Manzy clapped his hands and ordered the rapidly appearing servant to fetch some refreshments. In moments he returned with a tray load of food in one hand and 3 pitchers in the other. One was filled with wine, one with ale and one with water. It was at this point that Sneeze offered one of his truly insightful comments:
“Wine without alcohol is useless”
Confucius must be quaking in his boots with this level of competition.
The information we got from Manzy seemed to take a long time to tell but not say huge amounts that we didn’t already know.
The gist of it goes that the Age of Worms is an ancient prophecy foretelling the end of the world. There are apparently many such “prophecies” most of which are worth paying attention to about as much as anything Grim says after midday. However this prophecy seems to have more to it by the fact that several of its predictions have come to pass:
The rise of worm-ridden undead
The cleansing of an evil taint from a city besieged in the past by giants (obviously referring to our journeys in the Titan city)
The arrival of a “Fane of Scales” he believes to be the Black dragon we put down
The recovery of potent artefacts from ancient tombs (our finding the rod part in Icosial’s tomb)
The destructive manifestation of an immense demonic tree in a distant city across the sea
The ruin of a city built in a bowl in the spire’s shadow (which he believes refers to the near destruction of Cauldron, a city built inside a dormant volcano (can I at this point just give two thumbs up to the genius who looked at a volcano and thought “You know what; this would make a great place to build a city”))
He also mentioned two prophecies that had not been fulfilled: the unification of a tripartite spirit and the gift of a city of undead by a hero of the pit. These obviously refer about our dealings with the Ebon Triad and Lightboobs in the Free City.
Looking at it we’ve stopped two of the prophecies coming true but we’ve also had a part in making two of them come true. We cleansed the taint from a giant city and we’ve retrieved an artefact from an ancient tomb. So at the moment, if my maths is correct, we’ve done as much to help the Age of Worms come as we’ve done to stop it. Not particularly the average I was shooting for when we started.
Manzy had only been able to find out a little about Kyuss. He’d been a very powerful priest who’d ascended to godhood. He ruled a city named Kuluth-Mar which is located far to the south near where the city of Cauldron had been. He also said that Kyuss had had a penchant for creating undead, something he’s clearly not grown out of.
After that he said almost the least surprising thing ever: although he didn’t know much more, he knew someone who did... Are you kidding me? First Tramp-face doesn’t know anything so he sends us to see Legless. His only knowledge was of how to die although he did say his master knew more but didn’t know where to find him. Then Tramp-face told us where to find this guy, a supposed wise and intelligent arch-mage and now he tells us he knows virtually diddly-squat but he promises that a mate of his knows everything.
Ah well at least he knows where this mate of his is... or so you’d think! No! In fact, he doesn’t even know if he’s alive or not (Curly asked whether the high priest of the god of knowledge could ask his al knowing god. Agrump said he had but his god didn’t know. He’s obviously lying. I’m pretty sure he’s just out of favour with his god, probably for bringing Legless back to life. It’s a shame he feels it’s less embarrassing to say that the god of all knowledge doesn’t know something rather than admit his god thinks he’s a complete tool). Well that’s just great! He could tell us where he’d been as this guy, Balakarde who apparently has an unhealthy obsession with all things Kyuss, had left him some of his notes.
I say notes, more like next to useless scrawling of a mad-man. They outlined briefly his trip to Kuluth-Mar and his venture in to the ziggurat that Kyuss had ruled the city from on top of which stood the Spire of Long Shadows. He wrote that this was where the magical focus of the ritual of ascension to godhood. He finished by saying that the majority of Kyuss’ power had left the city but there were still powerful undead servants that had remained there. Although he’d visited the city on many occasions, he’d never been into the spire itself.
The last time he and Manzy had met Barricade had said that he was going to follow a lead to the north, but that was all. Manzy believes this lead can be found in Kuluth-Mar and that that should be our next port of call. He did then offer to be useful: he said he could transport us there using a powerful spell and one of his paintings but before we left he had a proposition for us: he wanted to do a trade – our piece of the rod we’d found in Icosial’s tomb for a number of magical items from his vault. He said that he knew of a few people who would like to get their hands on it for the wrong reasons, including the pit-fiend we’d encountered. Oh he knew all about that! He even claimed to be the one who dismissed it when it attacked us. This then begged the question of if he’s so powerful, why on earth doesn’t he just stop the prophecy being fulfilled himself. His answer: he had too many enemies who might, if they found out of his involvement, make an effort to side with Kyuss, making the whole thing more complicated.
He summoned his servant again who brought the items for us to gawp at. After much “umming” and “arring” (and “what’s going oning” from Curly), we decided that the rod would be safer with Manzy, we’d be safer without it and the items would be more useful to us.
With little delay we equipped ourselves of our new items and followed Manzy to one of his paintings. He explained that each of the paintings in the room was of a location where something of great import had happened and that they allowed him to more accurately teleport to that location. This particular one showed a jungle landscape surrounding a valley in the centre of which stood a ziggurat with what looked like a giant cactus sticking out of the top: the Spire of Long Shadows.
With a few more words of arcane might, we were there. It was like we’d just stepped into the picture. The first thing that struck me was the noise of the place. Unseen animals and birds squawked and roared from the undergrowth. And the heat! I started sweating like Grim at a wine-tasting.
Yeaaaaaaaah !!! I'm glad you're back. This journal has been my favourite for a long time and I was thrilled to see that it was only a temporary interruption. Keep it coming man !
Bran.
Thanks Bran. Glad to hear that you're still enjoying it. Hope i can live upto the start.
Thanks again
We made our way down the sides of the valley and into the crumbled city. The noise from the jungle seemed softened by more than just the distance we were at as sound itself was wary of entering this place.
As we approached the black wall it became apparent that there were markings carved in to its sides. These markings glowed with what looked like an intense heat yet the black stone (Grim identified as obsidian) felt cool to the touch. Muffin said that the carvings read “Kyuss forever bound” in draconic and were repeated until they covered the entire, what seemed to be, solid wall. Muffin then, in an act of supreme stupidity of which we’ve come to expect, cast a magic detection on the wall. After he woke up with a blinding headache he desperately deserved, he confirmed that it was, indeed, magical. In fact, it was the most powerful magic he’d ever come across. Why is he with us again? I’m pretty sure even Curly could have worked out that magic that was created to bind a god-like creature was going to be pretty powerful stuff.
I used Icosial’s sword to fly up and get a better look around but there wasn’t much to see. Crumbled buildings surrounded the Ziggurat and one huge boulder lay behind it. At first I thought this might be the missing part of the tower but it didn’t seem the right shape.
The others decided to climb over the wall so I landed on the other side. As I passed over the wall, a wave of nausea washed over me and an intense pain stabbed me in the back of my head. Once over the wall both left. Curly, of all people, spotted me wincing and asked if I was ok. My brain must have still been addled from the pain as I found myself telling the truth. He asked if I was still carrying the worms we’d found in the chest under the arena in the Free City. I got my last remaining vial out as proof and froze. The worm inside had crumbled. There were only tiny fragments remaining. It took all my resolve not to verbalise my panic in a scream. Curly muttered that that must have been why which at least gave me an explanation for what had happened but that was very cold comfort.
Moonday 17th Reaping 595
Sasserine’s a bit of a weird city. I mean it’s divided up into sections and there’s an island in the middle of it. They’ve also got an arena but it’s nowhere near as big as the one in the Free City. All the people seem to have a chip in their shoulder as well. For instance we happened to, almost literally(Grim had only been up a couple of hours so hadn’t quite got his ale legs back in equilibrium), bump into this group of misfits, one of whom took right offence. She was a right snotty grimlock of a human and kind of reminded me of Muffin when he’s being polite. When Grim told her as much one of her mates, a goliath of all people, came and joined what was rapidly turning into a frey. I was about to bring the ginokasaurus down to my level when another of their companions interjected himself. It was this young, scruffy lad who looked like he’d been dragged up on the streets that managed to, almost miraculously calm things down and get everyone on their merry way.
Ok so a lot happened yesterday which I haven’t had a chance to write about yet, mainly due to an illness that befell me. I think the medical term is “petrification”, but to us laymen, I was turned to stone. Despite this minor inconvenience however, yesterday turned out to end on an upbeat note from my perspective; not sure how the others would have viewed it if they knew why.
I’d calmed down a bit even before my miraculous recovery from being stoned (and not the good kind of being stoned) – partly due to one thing, but mostly due to another.
The first thing was a vision that appeared as we approached the ziggurat. The air seemed to take on an oily quality which rippled over the entire structure on which moving images appeared. It showed a man seated on a throne on top of the ziggurat. He was wearing ornate, black plate armour and was wearing a circlet on his head. The spire above flashed with bright lights and at its top balanced a huge, black, wedged shaped monolith. As the image expanded, it showed the city in its glory days; the houses were new and what little of the streets we could see under the bustling throng of people were paved in white stone. It seemed the entire populace had gathered around the ziggurat to pay homage to their champion. They chanted as one a single word over and over again:
“Kyuss! Kyuss! Kyuss!”
This vision of my truest enemy brought me from my despair and refocused my mind. Having looked into the eyes of my nemesis I realised that nothing, not even the loss of
my elixir, would stop me doing all I could to end his existence once and for all.
The ziggurat had three sets of steps; one led to the top where the base of the spire stood, the other two led into the ziggurat itself. We decided to venture to the base of the spire. As we approached we were greeted by another vision.
In this vision the peak of the spire was restored and something within the wedge shaped monolith was writhing. As the image expanded, an old red dragon swooped in and, with the thunderous sound of crumbling rock, seized the monolith in its massive claws and flew off to the north, its spoils clutched in its talons.
It seems that the dragons must have had some kind of war or feud going on with Kyuss what with destroying his place of power and constructing a wall of solid obsidian runed to the hilt with wardings.
Anyway, there were no entrances into the spire or the ziggurat from the top so we climbed all the way back down and entered through one of the stepped arches. This opened out in a small, empty room with a set of double at the end of a small corridor doors opposite the steps. Listening at the doors all we could hear was the faint sound of dripping.
The doors scrapped open, pushing dust and rubble aside on their way, to reveal a large hall the most striking feature of which was the huge hole that had crumbled at its centre. The ceiling was held up by pillars around the rooms edge (the ones near the centre had collapsed along with the floor).
We entered the room and approached the pit. Well, all of us bar Muffin who stayed by the doors in order to zap anything that came out. Unfortunately the things that needed zapping, and the second, and main source of my relief, came from behind.
The first we knew of them was the maddening clicking noise they issued as they charged down the corridor. Muffin, deafened into inaction, had the fortune that they were so big that the beetles could only come down the corridor one at a time. One of them tore into him with its claws and mandibles whilst the other two, who’d waited in the room, parted to reveal a skeletal figure wearing armour and carrying a huge sword.
I used Icosial’s sword again and flew in to attack. The others, apart from Curly (who must be used to mindless, repetitive noise going on in his head) succumbed to the attack and did nothing but clutch their hands to their ears.
As I approached I couldn’t help but stop (it was lucky the beetles gave me an excuse); oozing out of the beetle through every orifice (and some they’d made themselves) were Kyuss worms. Beautiful, fat, green Kyuss worms! It was all I could do to stop myself running over and gorging myself on their sumptuous, gooey, evil goodness. It took the sudden disappearance of the chittering (Grim had come to his senses and cast a silence spell over them) to bring me, and everyone else, back to our senses.
Muffin moved away, casting a ball of lightning as he did. The Knight of Kyuss seemed unfazed but the beetles silently skittered in pain. With that, the beetle moved back to allow space for the knight to enter. It headed straight for Curly (it must have sensed his innate naivety... I mean goodness) and attacked him with his sword and eyes... yup... eyes! What a lame weapon! I mean I thought Sneeze using his fists was bad enough but using your eyes to attack someone... that just smacks of desperation. Admittedly the eyes were, in fact, worms with really sharp teeth but still, you get that close to someone just head-butt them; especially if you’re wearing a helmet.
Anyway one of the eyes managed to take a chunk out of Curly’s cheek and the glaze that normally covers his eyes glossed over a little more (Grim would later inform us that they take away peoples’ ability to think which would eventually render someone unconscious. I guess Grim knew this as he regularly ingests things that take away your ability to think and eventually render you unconscious). The creature had chosen the wrong target though; Curly’s used to doing things without the ability to think and this minor inconvenience did nothing to stop him from swiping it with blow after blow after blow which eventually felled the creature. The beetle behind approached and received the same treatment, this time from Sheheit.
It was at this stage that Grim decided he’d enter the fray. He barged past Curly and Sheheit and charged straight into the next oncoming beetle. This meeting of titans could have been one of the most epic struggles ever witnessed. Dwarf vs beast. Drunk vs insect. It could have been, but it wasn’t. They floored each other faster than Grim normally quaffs a tankard of ale.
The remaining beetle barged his way over the corpse of his friend and the bleeding body of Grim (a feat in itself considering the corridor wasn’t all that high) only to be met by a barrage of steel from the still active members of the group that felled it almost instantly.
It was at this point I showed more control than I thought possible. I didn’t immediately run to the corpses, to my most precious and pressing of needs. I waited. I managed to wait until they were all looking over the corpse of the Knight of Kyuss before I slipped one of those worms into my vial of gentle repose. I felt like absorbing it there and then but it was too dangerous. The others would have seen the immediate effects and then they’d know, then they’d know. I must keep this a secret in order that I can attain hell for him, attain hell for him.
My most pressing concern taken care of, I decided we should check out the hole but as we approached a wave of evil pounded us with such force that even Grim felt nauseous and couldn’t get anywhere near it.
Leaving that for the moment, we investigated the room. Four sets of stairs were leading up and two more sets of double-doors were set on either side of the room along with one on the opposite side that we came in which led to the other entrance to the ziggurat.
In a decision that shall go down as the worst one I’ve ever made (well apart from the time I took Grim on in a drinking contest... or the time that I asked Sneeze what was on his mind... or the time I asked Muffin what he was reading... or the time I tried to explain the rules of “pitch and toss” to Curly)... Ok... In a decision that shall go down as the fifth worst decision I’ve ever made, we went to the door on the left. We opened it up to discover a room glowing in a sickly green light that shone through the thick glass like walls. Hanging from the ceiling and walls were a gruesome collection of tools and equipment that could only have one possible use – torture.
It was a screech from above that was our only warning for the oncoming attack. Three creatures were flying in the air. Two of them looked like angels with flaming swords for arms and the third looked like an Eladrin (I was semi-reliably informed by Muffin that they were two Sword-Archons and a Ghaele Eladrin) but each looked... not quite right. It was as if the taint of this place had infused into their very core and deformed them. The angels had dark eyes and were screaming manically and the eladrin’s grin was chilling, unlike the pillar of flame it sent down on us. I managed to dive out of the ay but the others didn’t recover as quickly as myself and were caught in the spell.
With the Dynamos on the back foot, Sneeze and Sheheit slammed the doors and Grim created a stone wall to block them, a tactic designed to gain us time to regroup but unfortunately the demonic angels had other ideas. They appeared in mid-air above us, still issuing that terrifying scream. Almost as one, myself, Curly and Sneeze activated our flight and went to meet the challenge. The last thing I remember is a bright flash of multicoloured light coming from one of the angels eyes.
I awoke still swinging my sword (which near took off Grim’s beard) in a magic emporium I didn’t recognise. A little confused and more than a little relieved, I let Grim tell me what I’d missed. After listening to about half an hour of slurred words, chin wiping and tears on my shoulder along with cries of “I thought I’d lost you little buddy” (about the only seven words I understood the entire time), I let Muffin recount.
Apparently the ray that the angel had shot at us had turned myself and Sneeze to stone and had turned Sheheit insane. Muffin, somewhat strangely you might think, found this to be a very fortunate turn of events as it meant that myself and Sneeze were no longer animate, he had the magical capability to teleport everyone out as we were then considered baggage and not people. With Sneeze safely in Grims bulky arms and me precariously in Muffins stringy appendages, he transported us all to the part of the jungle that Manzy had first sent us to.
It was then that Sheheit’s insanity came to light as she/he started to swing his/her axe at everyone and everything. Not having the power to bring her round from it, Muffin was forced to hide everyone in his room on a rope until the next day. It was then that they decided that they needed to get back to some kind of civilisation and get their leader back to full strength (i.e. back to being flesh and blood) so that some proper decisions could be made. Unfortunately the nearest civilisation turned out to be Sasserine. A big enough city, you might think, for one of my companions to know of something, someone or somewhere in the city for Grim to scry on, but no! That would have been a useful thing to know which of course excludes any of my companions. They did come up with a novel way round it. It turns out that Grim only needs to know the name of a person in order to scry on them so he decided to scry on John Smith, resident of Sasserine and voila, there appeared a bloke in the middle of a field of cows at the bottom of his tankard (admitedly not the first time that Grim’s seen visions at the bottom of a mug but it is the first that other people could see with him). A few seconds later and bam! There they were ankle deep in mud and the only thing to come off a cow that Grim won’t eat. I would have given anything to have seen that farmers face when an obese dwarf, and anorexic elf and a guy wearing full plate armour carrying some very life-like statues of a handsome halfling and a man wearing a frock and sporting a mullet suddenly appeared in the field.
You might have noticed that there was one absentee in this throng. Yup! They left Sheheit ranting, raving and hacking in the trees (they figured that the lion would have to bow down to a new king/queen of the jungle). Their plan was to go back later and cure him/her when they’d picked up the means with which to do so. Personally I’m not sure I’d have been able to tell the difference between an insane axe wielding dwarf and whatever the spell had made of him/her.
Anyway, they managed to walk into the city and, despite being covered in who knows what kind of dirt, managed to get into the city and get served in the emporium. After a quick stop in one of the local taverns, Grim scried out Sheheit (who was busy singlehandedly trying to set up a trade route between Kuluth-Mar and who knows where) and before you could say “rampaging androgynous dwarf on a maniacal killing spree using both of his/her axes” we were back in that humid mass of trees planning on how to kick some angel ass.
Zzzzzaaap ! <Desactivating cloaking device>
Just a litle word of appreciation from a fellow halfling, lurking in the shadows. I found about your journal years ago, and never had the opportunity to tell you how much it's fun to read. Please, go on!
Thank you for your comments Smarnil. They are very much appreciated. Personally i'm amazed people read my diary and only hope that those who are continue to enjoy it.
Godsday 18th Reaping 595
Our new plan to defeat the anti-angels and their best buddy is going well so far however I do feel attrition by avoidance may not be the most expedient way of disposing of them.
We decided to take a more measured approach to our assault on the ziggurat. We decided to scry the room opposite where the angels lay (or hovered) and so Muffin created an invisible eye in the room. This revealed four creatures; three we identified as Swords of Kyuss – strong, skeletal soldiers that slash acid with their swords and that could produce balls of negative energy that could blast the living and heal the dead – and one that was crouched onto the ground and covered in a ripped cloak we were unable to identify at that time.
We got suited, booted and magicked and stormed the room. As we did the creature on the floor unfurled itself to reveal another skeletal creature crawling with worms (a wormcaller). It screamed its awakening as we tore into it and its friends.
Our preparation seemed to be paying off as the wormcaller fell beneath the combined force of my weapons and Sneeze’s fists and Curly, Sheheit and a now enlarged Grim started putting their not inconsiderable weight into the other three.
Our massacre was halted briefly as two of the Swords unleashed their balls of negative energy. Myself and Sneeze managed to avoid them completely but the rest felt the full force (they could’ve hardly missed Grim. It’d be harder to hit the ziggurat than him). I have to admit that part of me was glad to see that wave of darkness encompass them all. It would give them a taste of the blackness that I’m forced to fend off in my soul every waking minute.
My brief moment of satisfaction was ended as the wormcrawler, buoyed by the surges of negative energy, started to rise once more. I sprung up and hacked into it once more. I struck with blow after blow, utilising Muffin’s speed spell to its fullest, until the creature was in more pieces than Salty was when she finally realised that I wasn’t interested.
By this time the others had dispatched its bodyguards but even as we stood there panting, the room took on that oily sheen and another vision appeared. This one showed Kyuss sitting at a desk with a grey-skinned, six armed humanoid standing behind him. They both seemed to be studying some metal discs with some kind of writing on them. The grey creature reached one of its arms over the shoulder of the then priest and pointed a finger at one of them. A sudden look of comprehension washed over the man as the image disappeared.
As the room came back to the present, the dusty desk and shelves of books came into view along with a shelf of more interesting objects: twelve vials of liquid each with a single green worm in. Etched into the side of each was some writing which Muffin helpfully identified as old Flanae and equally unhelpfully told us he didn’t understand. In front of this was a podium on which sat a closed book. On the front of the book was embossed the outline of a human head with a worm inside that seemed to be whispering.
The book itself was also written in old Flanae but it was helpfully illustrated. It indicated that if you swallowed one of the worms it would impart to you some ancient knowledge. It seemed different to the ritual detailed in the Apostolic scrolls as it didn’t appear as though you needed to trade your soul for this knowledge. That said, I’m still debating who got the best of that deal. Every time I feel the positive energy flow through me and into the soul-less minions of the would-be bringer of the Age of Worms I think... No! I know that I got the best of the deal. But every time the despair and anger takes me over and another scar appears I know the price was way too high.
Curly was all for destroying them and the book and for once I found myself agreeing with him. Even if the price for simple knowledge is less than the one I’m paying, I know it would be too much for any of the others to bear. Muffin convinced the rest to leave them for the time-being until we could translate the etchings and find out exactly what knowledge we could obtain from them or, in fact, if they were worth any money.
As we left the room we debated about going back to the angels and trying to finish them off, afterall, there would surely be another vision which might give us an insight into what Kyuss was like before he ascended. The debate was short-lived when we remembered the nature of the room. I don’t think any of us were particularly interested in seeing Kyuss torture someone or something (unless it was Tramp-face – then I might be able to stomach it... as long as I had some kind of snack and drink).
That decided we went to the only place (well four places to be exact) that was left to investigate: the stairs up into the spire. Well that was our initial idea until we discovered that Kyuss was some kind of distant relation of the Wind-dukes. The stairs led to, yup, nothing! That’s right, nothing! Blank stone walls and not a secret door to be found. All I can say is at least he didn’t just have door, after door, after door leading nowhere. He did have the decency just to put a big old plain wall blocking the way. That in my book brings him one step closer to not all evil. Ok so destruction of the entire world is pretty bad but at least he’s not going to frustrate us to death. It does however, pose the question of how in the name of Hanseath did he get into that spire? Or perhaps the spire has some other purpose? Was the spire the focus for whatever spell or deed that Kyuss had to perform in order to be elevated to the gods? Either way, I’d like to take a peek inside the spire at some stage. I mean if it was the focus that enabled an arrogant, evil, twisted, egotistical, little twerp like Kyuss become a god, imagine what it could do for me! I mean people already worship me (just look at Salty). What would they do if I was elevated above this mortal coil? Maybe that sounds above my station and possibly it is... for now.
Anyway, that’s for the future, back to the then and there. This left us with two options: leave and let the Age of Worms come upon us or overcome our nausea and brave the pit. The first was impossible, the second merely unpalatable so down the hole we went, assisted by Muffins fall like a feather spell (which he actually included me in this time, unlike in the tomb of Icosial – and I got to see the distance that I fell without it. Grim was the one who told me as the tunnel narrowed. I’m amazed I survived it. It made me half wish that the spell would fail so the others would feel a little of what I felt; see how many of them had the will to survive it).
Anyway, the journey down revealed more than the extent of Muffin’s betrayal. All along the walls were caves that were, apart frm some crumbling edges, perfectly circular. I didn’t see it myself but Sneeze said he spotted something big and wormy lurking in the shadow of one of the caves.
We neared the bottom of the pit and it opened out into a room the floor of which was crawling with more Kyuss worms than I thought I’d ever see. Sneeze, Sheheit and Grim grabbed onto the wall (a move I copied as a simple deception) as Curly activated his boots and grabbed onto Muffin. It pained me to watch as Curly held him above the room and Muffin sent wave after wave of spell onto the carpet of my simultaneous pleasure and pain.
If they hadn’t been destroying my elixir, the sight might have been amusing what with Curly floating like a chromatic butterfly and Muffin stinging like an anaemic bee but I couldn’t help but lament the loss.
Ok so I’m no longer lamenting that loss. There’s so many of them. I couldn’t believe what I saw. They’re right there, calling me, begging me, imploring me, seducing me. Their call is that of the siren; promising all my wildest dreams yet delivering only pain, misery and despair. Why can’t I resist? Why can’t I muster the strength to destroy them? Why do I feel that burning desire to damn everything I’ve worked to attain just for that one taste of glorious pain? Why did I choose this path? To defeat thy enemy you must know thy enemy? I can’t help feeling that that excuse is wearing thin. Even I’m starting to doubt that I made my choice for that and that alone. No! The truth is I want the power! My boast of attaining divinity earlier was not arrogance or vanity; it is my desire and destiny. IT IS MY WILL!
What in the nine hells is wrong with me? When did I become such a... well, Muffin? Seriously, what I wrote before wasn’t me, wasn’t what I really feel. Yes I would do and will do anything it takes to put a stop to Kyuss and his plans but everything else was a bit melodramatic. I may be good, but a divine being I’m not!
Muffin destroyed the swarm of worms that covered the floor in the room and the rest of us floated to the floor. The room had three exits: double doors barred two of them and a sickly green glow issued from the third.
We headed to a set to the south and what lay behind filled me with more emotion than I ever thought possible. The doors opened to reveal a cavernous room with exits to the south and east that barely registered. Covering the floor was a mass of Kyuss worms the like of which I never thought existed. My fear that I wouldn’t be able to find more of these ecstasy inducing little creatures was banished from my mind forevermore along with the hope that I might recover from my addiction. With the knowledge that such a mass of these worms exists I accept that I will never truly be rid of them. Now I must live with that knowledge.
It was only when Grim put a hand on my shoulder that I released the breath I hadn’t realised I’d been holding. The others were leaving the room and heading towards the green glow. With a heavy but relieved heart I followed.
Inside the green room lay six bodies. Initially we all prepared ourselves for their animation but our paranoia, this time, was unwarranted. The bodies remained in the state they’d been in for the past who knows how long. The green glow had a familiar feel to it and Muffin soon confirmed what I knew to be true – this room had a spell to slow the decay of the deceased, just like the one imbued into the potion that is keeping my now not so precious worm alive. For some reason Kyuss is keeping these bodies preserved. Does he intend to inhabit one of them if he returns to the world?
The green room led onto a not so green room. It was an exact replica of the precious room only the green preserving effect had worn off. The six bodies had decayed into nothing but bone. The only other exit out of this room was a set of double doors behind which Sneeze said he heard a hissing sound (personally I think it was just Grim letting out a sly one but Sneeze was insistent) . With weapons ready we flung open the doors to discover what looked like the remnants of another library. Books had been piled into what looked like a nest in which sat a gigantic worm that had a human face (kinda like Tramp-face). It seemed to shake its green hair and, just as Curly was about to charge, spoke.
“Are you here to free me?”
I know we’re meant to be heroes but rescue wasn’t on any of our minds but the fact that it could talk threw us momentarily. Curly recovered first and growling vehemently that the creature was evil, started to charge. He got about half way across the room before he met the creatures gaze and stopped, dropped his sword and started gibbering.
Figuring he’d either mislaid his favourite teddy-bear or the creature had cast some kind of effect on him, I thought it would be best to get him out of there quickly. I managed to initiate negotiations with the creature as the others negotiate with the creature. All it wanted was to be teleported out of the temple and beyond the obsidian wall and in exchange for that it would give us all his possessions (which turned out to be the books it was sitting on). I asked for a good-will gesture and it offered some information on the caverns.
It said that to the east there was a host of undead and across the sea of worms nested a huge and very dangerous creature. It said that neither it nor any of its kind would venture there and advised us to leave well alone.
That small piece of information garnered I told it that we would talk on its proposal further and come back to it with our decision tomorrow. It seemed quite happy with this as, apparently, the days merge into one another after such a lengthy captivity.
With the doors firmly shut we enquired as to Curly’s state. Grim said that the creature had lowered Curly’s mental capacity to such a level that he was barely able to breath and move. Not understanding the difference between this and his normal state I enquired again as to what was wrong. Grim said that without a powerful spell, Curly would never function properly again (because of course he functioned properly before this happened...). As to whether Hanseath would grant Grim such a spell he could not say. He said that he would pray (and by pray I of course mean drink) all night and hope that he was deemed worthy (and by worthy I of course mean drunk) by our deity. With that we settled in for the night in the depths of the domain of Kyuss.
I write this now hastily before I sleep so that my account is not dulled by the passage of even one night’s rest.
I had to do it. I couldn’t resist. I didn’t want to resist. They called to me and I answered without hesitation and with a regret that was consumed by desire. Grim had finally passed out and I was alone on watch with only my thoughts to keep me company. But in a place like this there was only one thought. I deserted my post and crept to the writhing mass of worms. With the awe inspiring sight of them transfixing me, I only noticed when the vial touched my lips that I’d taken out the worm from my haversack. I paused briefly then for no more reason than to savour the moment. I swallowed and the glorious rapture of pain overcame me. It was more intense than I’d previously experienced and it was all I could do not to scream out.
The pain level rose and did not stop until the blackness of unconsciousness took me away from it. I was fortunate that nothing had disturbed the others from their slumber and that it wasn’t too long past the time I was due to hand over to Sneeze.
Can we have a peek at Deree's classes and level at the moment? Or is it confidential? ;o)
Thanks for the update !
Bran.
I have no secrets... Shame yes, secrets no.
Deree's a bit of a class whore it has to be said. I just found myself wanting him to have stuff so entered different classes and then something new and shiny would come along and i wanted that was well.
Here goes:
Level 13
Rogue 4
Fighter 1
Barbarian 1
Whisperknife 2
Wormhunter 5
If you want any more details let me know.
Thank you again for reading.
...and then something new and shiny would come along and i wanted that was well.
Just like your character if I may ^_^
Bran
How about an update on the class/levels for the other characters, just to fill in the blanks? You did an old version in the 'Tell Me About Your Party Composition' thread.
Will pester the others for there's - not sure off the top of my head. In the meantime here's the latest of the diary - apologies for the delay.
Waterday 19th Reaping 595
I did not want to get up this morning. I guess the night’s exertions took more out of me than I anticipated. Still when I did get up I felt... different. Something had changed both internally and externally. Another scar had appeared, this time on my neck. Fortunately it was low enough that my hastily made scarf covered it up. I tried to choke down some breakfast but Grim did do his best to put me off – not on purpose – he just had the beer farts – he’d been up all night drinking and praying.
Grim’s night of frivolity paid off as Hanseath granted him the power to bring Curly back from completely mentally stunted to only partially mentally stunted. Curly naturally wanted to go back in and have the creature return him to a vegetable but we persuaded him that it’d be better to try and take out some of the other dangers first and then come back and have the beast return him to a vegetable.
With Curly suitably confused, we moved to the room opposite the green room. Storming the door we were greeted by three of the wormcallers who seemed to be protecting a fountain that was, somewhat worryingly, spewing fresh, clean water.
Sneeze charged in first and looked for all intents and purposes that he was going to pummel all three into pieces smaller than Curly’s brain, or Grim’s self-restraint, or Muffin’s humility, or Sheheit’s personality. However as he got near he seemed to become distracted and diverted his movement away from the creatures and towards the fountain where he proceeded to stick his head under the flowing water and take a big gulp.
Now normally I’d be a bit scathing about the lack of intelligence it would need in order for someone to decide to take a drink break in the middle of a combat in what looked like a shrine to Kyuss in the centre of his head-quarters, however as I approached I felt an overwhelming urge to do the same thing. I rushed to the fountain and scooped as much of the water into my mouth as possible. Now, unsurprisingly, the water didn’t taste quite as delicious and refreshing as it looked, although it did have a very familiar tang to it. The delicious, disgusting flavour and texture of the Kyuss worms filled my palette. At any other point the feeling would have been the most welcome sensation and I almost found myself revelling in this unique dining experience, but the sight of Sneeze spitting out the “water” brought me back to the reality of the situation. I couldn’t imbibe this nectar, not with everyone watching. That would confirm what they probably already suspect! With a force of will that took all my energies I spat the worms from my mouth and turned my frustration on the three wormcallers.
It was at the point that myself and Sneeze had just regained our composure that Grim decided to unleash a pillar of flame into the room. Fortunately our reactions were a lot quicker than his spell-casting and we managed to avoid the tornado of fire, which is more than can be said for our enemies. The pillar engulfed them all with the vengeful fury of Hanseath... the much good it did us! No sooner had the heat dissipated than they all took a sip from the fountain and miraculously all their wounds were healed. Now I’m not really an expert but for someone who says he’s a god of death destruction and carrion, this Kyuss bloke does a whole lot of healing... not that it did them much good once Curly and Muffin finally decided to enter the fray. Soon worm infested heads were flying (not mine I hasten to add) and the room was clear of anything that was remotely infested ... was almost clear of anything remotely infested had been slain.
As the last one fell, another vision blurred into my mind. It started with a birds-eye view of Kuluth-Mar only empty. The streets were devoid of human life. The vision sped us to the Spire where all the citizens had gathered. Suddenly a black energy began to gather and form around the tower and an instant later burst out. As the energy passed over the populous of the city each person fell in a domino sequence of death. As each body hit the floor something (their essence? Their souls?) escaped their physical shell and was absorbed into the black monolith atop the spire. As each soul was taken an image began to appear: a human figure composed of countless worms. The image grew and grew until it was the size of the spire itself. Once fully formed, the image seemed to raise its arms in triumph but in the next instant Kyuss’ face turned to fury with tears of worms falling from his ungodly face. The wormy figure swirled as it began to be sucked into the monolith along with the other souls. The rush of wind died suddenly and all was quiet, but not for long. Slowly, like dominos righting themselves, the bodies of the fallen started to rise but now were infested with the green Kyuss worms.
The image faded and we were back in the fountain room, which was, sadly, a dead end so we headed back to the large worm filled room of (most likely) death. This prediction had further confirmation when Curly proclaimed that he could sense evil coming from the pit. That’s right: from the pit... the pit filled with iddy-biddy Kyuss worms. Sometimes I’m jealous of the insight his god gives him in these situations. I mean I could never have guessed that there might be evil eminating from the pit of iddy-biddy Kyuss worms.
Once more astounded at the depths of Curly’s logic it almost slipped me by that on the opposite side of the room two more wormcallers appeared and, without pausing, walked straight into the pool disappearing under the writhing mass only to appear a few minutes later moving into the darkness along the corridor they originated from. We retreated to formulate a plan. We resisted Curly’s “make a jump for it” strategy and opted for the “haste ourselves and dimension door over there” strategy. It worked quit well. We managed to take the undead by surprise (not that you could tell from their faces; they remained pretty much the same) and I (of course being the quickest, smartest and bravest of us) managed to pen them in to the end of the corridor which was blocked on the other side by a hefty set of double doors.
Unfortunately the undead became unsurprised rather quickly one sending down an immediately horrific pillar of flame (horrific for the others; I of course simply dodged out the way) and the other issuing a less immediately horrific command of “Come”. Behind us the writhing mass started to bulge and an instant later out burst a worm that made the Ulgurstasta look like... well, it made the Uldurstasta look like a pretty big worm but not as big as it once appeared cos this one was bigger, hence making the Ulgurstasta appear smaller by comparison.
Anyway the ‘even bigger than the Ulgurstasta’ worm reared up and snapped down, grabbing Grim in its mouth (told you it was big – I mean the Ulgurstatsa only managed to grab and swallow little me but this thing managed to get its chomps all the way around Grim’s gravity producing girth). A split-second later the worms jaw snapped shut as Grim teleported himself back into the midst of the battle with the wormcallers just as one fell under the weight of my explosive barrage of attacks.
The enormous worm, obviously realising that Grim was a bit too much for it to handle in one sitting, struck out again but this time focussed on Curly, who, in what later turned out to be a pretty gutsy and impressive feat of combat tactics but which at first appeared to be (and still might have been caused by) an act of utter idiocy and pant-stained inaction, did nothing. And by nothing I mean nothing until the last split second when he slashed his sword across the gapping maw of the beast, al blow that extended its smile from where its ear should have been to where its other ear should have been. At the same time Muffin unleashed one of his rays of fire right into the belly of the beast sending it crashing into the sea of worms dead.
Meanwhile Sneeze and I were doing our best to deal with the final wormcaller, a task that became infinitely easier when Sneeze whipped the legs from underneath it sending it prostrate on the floor allowing us to hack it to death like dwarves round a boar on a spit.
We eyed the doors and assessed our injuries and with the warning of the stupidifying naga ringing in our ears we retreated and set up camp once more.
Earthday 20th Reaping 595
Pestered Muffin about the complete grey blankness of his room on a rope and enquired about the possibility of decorating. He didn’t seem very enthused by the idea. Still a night without wormy dreams has done me the world of good.
We decided to leave the room of naga-scare until a bit later and headed east (the giant worm didn’t come back to bite us in the... well, all over). Beyond the door on this side was a room that had a huge bed atop a plush, green carpet and surrounded by stools (weird but I guess even evil deific priests can be voyeurs). The walls of the chamber had carvings of a duel world. The underworld was a maze of tunnels filled with worms and humans dressed as worms all trying to burst through to the upper world which was being ravaged by all sorts of creatures (including dragons) with worm heads. The other three walls had single doors leading off.
We began our search of this room (I started under the bed – if I were a kinky evil priest attempting to gain godhood that’s where I’d hide my stash of porn) but we’d barely even peeked under the valance when the three doors opened. Behind each stood what looked like Kyuss Knights but they all appeared to have a uniqueness about them.
Sneeze and I teamed up on the one to the north (we’ve been doing that a lot lately; seems to have been working too – haven’t died in a while and he hasn’t tried to kill me or any of the others as far as I know (although there was that time he knocked out Salty). Maybe he can be trusted... or maybe he’s playing it smart. Time will tell I suppose) and managed to flank it. As I closed in on it, it became clear that it was covered in an aura of shadow. This wasn’t so scary until the shadow started acting independently of the body and attacked me. Its actual body busied itself laying into Sneeze with its sword and eyes (honestly, why?) whilst its shadow lashed out a black tendril like arm at me. As the shadow struck I suddenly found myself transported into, what would be to most people a nightmare but for me, a dream-like state where I was being buried alive in Kyuss worms. These blokes had obviously not done their homework. I mean if you’re going to try and terrify someone don’t do with something akin to their wildest dreams. Would you try and scare Grim by threatening to drown him in a keg of ale?
The images distracted me only briefly before I was back in the room and continued the melee partnership I’d formed with Sneeze. The others were fairing just as well as we were. Curly had been slashed to ribbons and bitten by the eyes of his one which once again gave his eyes a glossy hue and Sheheit was slashing wildly at his/hers but every time his/her weapon came into contact with the knight it turned to mist and passed almost harmlessly through it.
Curly, glazed eyes and all, summoned up what was left of his strength and swung a massive blow at his foe. There was almost a glow of holy power outlining his form and suddenly focussing at the edge of his blade as it impacted with the Kyuss Knight. The creature staggered under the weight of the strike and wobbled as if drunk before inevitably it carried on attacking. As the creature moved in to finish off our holy (or by then, holey) warrior it was all Curly could do to raise his blade up one more time, impaling the creature as it approached for the kill. As the knight breathed his last (well, not exactly “breathed”. Undead don’t tend to breathe as a rule. It’s what makes them impossible to beat in a game of duck apple), it disappeared in a puff of shadowy mist.
Curly turned with a triumphant grin and stepped, what he’d later testify was a selfless act of heroism, but what we all know to have been a complete act of Curlyness (yup, a man so stupid he gets his own adjective), straight into a sweeping shot aimed at Sheheit. He fell to the floor into a puddle of his own blood.
Myself and Sneeze set about our own Kyuss Knight with renewed vigour. It was only a matter of moments before it fell beneath our combined fury (and by “combined fury” I mean that he played pat-a-cake with it whilst I did all the hard graft). As it fell Grim, understanding that beer is a cure for all ills, whispered a prayer over his mug and threw the contents onto Curlys face. Not sure if it was the prayer or the smell but either way it did the trick and Curly managed to shake off the worst of his wounds just in time to see Muffin unleash a bolt of fire into the chest of the third, final and now properly dead knight.
As Grim healed people up we searched the rooms that our latest enemies had appeared from but there was nothing. Pretty high levels of security for nothing... maybe these were the extra participants in Kyuss’ after-dark activities.
Either way that left us with only one way. We made our way to the southern door and whatever was beyond. That turned out to be another ill-informed undead. The Harbinger (as six-armed freaky lich introduced itself) seemed to be under the impression that we want to bring about the Age of Worms. He even offered to help us bring it about!!! Come on! I mean I know that we quite often go stumbling into fights with no clue as to what we’re fighting or how to defeat it but I don’t think we’ve ever read the situation that badly!
We looked at each other in a stunned silence knowing that we had two options:
1. Fall about laughing
2. Attack and kill
Personally I was all for option one but Curly took the decision out of my hands by going for option two. He charged the creature as Muffin and Grim combined blasts of force and fire at it. As Curly neared the creature flicked one of its wrists and suddenly eight of it were standing there. Curly swung wildly but each time it swiped harmlessly through an image, dispersing it. Myself, Sneeze and Sheheit rushed in after Curly just as the creature unleashed a multicoloured wave over us. Other than opening up a small wound on Sneeze, the rainbow seemed not to have any affect. Between us we managed to take out all of the images and I managed to land the first blow onto the creature itself. The others soon joined in the fun and within moments we had the creature on the back foot. In an attempt to nullify the creature’s innate magical abilities, Grim cast a spell of silence on me. Sadly this stroke of genius didn’t seem to affect the Harbinger as it unleashed another rainbow spray. The silence did affect me which was probably a good thing as Grim wouldn’t have been able to hear the tirade of abuse I hurled at him – well that and the fact that he’d been turned to stone. Muffin was also babbling in the corner of the room. At first I couldn’t tell the difference between that and him casting one of his ineffectual spells but then he started walking in circles.
I focussed back on to the Harbinger but Curly was focussing the swell of holy power once more and with a flash of attacks brought the undead its final death. Instantly the ground started to shake but I had no time to worry. Muffin was the only person who could turn Grim back to flesh; Grim was only one who could bring Muffin back to relative sanity; I had a potion that would allow one of them to try and shake off the affect. With that knowledge (and the fact that it’s really hard to force-feed a statue anything) I jumped on Muffin and rammed the potion down his throat. Nothing! Still crazier than normal! Sheheit and Sneeze seeing that Muffin hadn’t the strength to fight it with only one potion followed my lead and forced their potions down his throat as well. After the third one had settled on his stomach, Muffin came round.
Meanwhile the ground stopped shaking with a huge cracking and thudding sound. We gathered up the items left by the dead undead and left the room. The lake of worms had gone and had been replaced by a simple lake. Unsure what to make of this turn of events we retreated to Muffin’s grey room on a rope (we left Grim at the bottom – he’s even heavier as a statue than as a dwarf if you can imagine that).
Freeday 21st Reaping 595
We all had a weird dream last night (even Grim. I wouldn’t have thought statues would have dreams but apparently they do; something we found out once Muffin made him flesh again). We dreamt of all the visions we’d had along with the prophecies; worm-eaten dead rising; a demonic tree; a burning comet; a shadow covered city; a maniacal man attaching a claw to a bloody stump; a city built on a volcano (dumb ass architects) being destroyed. These were followed by whispering voices speaking of the prophecies we’d stopped; the joining of three spirits into one and the hero of the pit turning a city undead. As we woke we glanced nervously at one other. We each knew that we now had to see this to the end, whatever that end might be.
Silently we left the spire to discover the source of the thudding; the cactus shaped tower had fallen from its perch atop the ziggurat and smashed through the obsidian wall. This set the alarm bells ringing in Curly’s head (about time something was in there); he had the horrible feeling that the protective magic preventing the evil from escaping the city would be destroyed along with the wall. Muffin confirmed that suspicion with a simple spell. Sadly this sent Curly on one of his pious rants about not letting any evil escape and how we needed to go back in and finish off the naga (his piety didn’t quite extend to the angels of certain death but no-one was daft enough to point out his slight hypocrisy).
Eyes rolling, we made our way back to the library (although it was pointed out that we hadn’t found anything about Barricade and that there could be a chance that the naga had gathered it up) and burst in to find an empty room (not exactly empty just sans naga). Undeterred by this, Sneeze bolted into the room and started sprinting up and down like a dog chasing a cat with a bone covered in gravy.
The tactic paid off as he rebounded off something big and invisible which immediately shot a ray of energy. As the ray blasted into Sneeze the naga appeared and the rest of us charged in trying desperately trying to avoid its stupidifying gaze. Sadly we all failed and all found ourselves locking eyes with the snake. I felt the Curly affect wash over me but managed to steel my mind against it. Sadly the same cannot be said for Sheheit. As he/she ran in and attacked the glaze covered her eyes returning her/him to his/her baser instincts. Fortunately for the rest of us, his/her baser instincts was to maim and kill.
With Grim creating a wall of blades across it and the rest of us pinning it in the corner it wasn’t long before it fell under our averted gaze attacks (not that we attacked with our averted gazes; we averted our gazes and attacked). Muffin set about the books like he was a dog chasing a cat with a bone covered in gravy that was taunting it. Unfortunately it turned out that there was no information regarding Barricade. There was a magical book which enhanced the readers’ health.
Feeling more than a little frustrated we left the building and headed off to the jungle where we arrived and sent a message to Manzy to fetch us back to his, although he’s taking his sweet time about it... even Curly’s gotten board with chasing butterflies.
I’m not sure I like Manzy all that much. Whilst we’ve been going insane and getting turned to stone, this so-called powerful mage with his mate the high priest of the god of knowledge have been sitting on their combined arses researching the prophecies... yup the prophecies. The very same prophecies that we already know about... the same ones we had that dream about, you know the one we had after we’d killed the harbinger. Useless goit!
He had taken time out of his “How to be less than useless” seminar to have a look into Barricade’s notes. Manzy thinks that Barricade has gone to a place called Alhaster, a hive of scum and villainy run by pirates and brigands and ultimately ruled by a despot known as Prince Zeech. The city is the capital of the bandit kingdom of Red Hand. Manzy and Agrump were still unsure whether Barricade was alive or not (I’m thinking not) but if that was the place of his final demise then all his latest notes would be there.
So I guess it’s off to this haven for thieves run by a cruel dictator to look for the notes of a probably dead madman with a holy warrior of Heironeous, the god of chivalry, justice and honour... what could go wrong?
Review of the rest of the party:
Gorram (aka Curly), LG Human Male Paladin 6 / Fist of Raziel 7
Dalgunn Stouthammer (aka Sheheit), female Dwarf(Hill)
Fighter 8/Tempest 5
Gimgrim Irontwister (aka Grim)
Male Dwarf - Chaotic Neutral
Warrior Priest of Hanseath (Dwarven God of War and Drinking)
Cleric 10th/Fighter 2nd
T'Shan (aka Sneeze) LV13 Monk LN
Salanor, (aka Muffin) Wizard 6/Stormcaster 6 Chaotic Neutral
Any queries, let me know.
Tis true. Mustn't have put their levelled characters up.
Starday 22nd Reaping 595
We were going to set off today but Manzy offered to teleport us about a days travel from Alhaster so people decided to try and sell our well-gotten gains and spend the profits so it looks like we’re stuck here for a week.
Sunday 23rd – Freeday 28th Reaping 595
Spent most of this time helping Curly read a book we’d found. He was trying to do it all by himself but he struggled with some of the big words... bless him.
Starday 1st Goodmonth 595
Manzy gave us a final checklist before he sent us miles away from where he said he would. I’m guessing he hadn’t noticed that myself and Grim are slightly on the short side since he expected us to walk sixty miles in one day. I’m going to assume that he was basing our journey off how fast Sneeze walks (which is pretty impressive)... either that or he’s a complete tool!
Anyway, the to-do list he gave us for when we got to Alhaster wasn’t really his to-do list; it was Barricades. Apparently Barricade was going to try and find the following things out so Manzy advised that we start with them:
1. Find out if the Ebon Triad was still operating there (apparently Barricade thought that Alhaster was some sort of recruitment and training centre for the cult)
2. Locate Lashonna (if alive – again I’m guessing not), a woman who stood against the Triad, or see if she left anything behind that might help
3. Don’t let Curly speak to any of the locals
Ok so that last one’s mine but I still think it’s worth putting on the list.
Right, so after that talk and being teleported “a day’s walk” away from Alhaster, we travelled through the most boring terrain ever. All there was were plains as far as the eye can see.
Muffin thinks we’ve entered the Bandit Kingdom. I’m not so sure – I didn’t see a welcome sign.
Sunday 2nd Goodmonth 595
Now the terrain isn’t just boring, it’s also wet. It’s raining sphinxs and worgs. I hate the bandit kingdom. It blows ghosts!
Ok so the Bandit Kingdom has livened up a bit. There we were just listening to Muffin moan about the rain (an impressive tirade that had lasted a good solid hour) when there was a sound that was reminiscent of when Grim sat on one of the non-reinforced chairs at the Feral Dog accompanied by a voice in each of our heads which issued an ominous warning:
“You will die for what you have done!”
I was wondering which of Sneeze’s many anecdotes warranted such a threat when two figures whose size was only matched by their hideous looks.
I was given no time to see if that was the only thing they and Grim had in common as he sped off and started to attack the four armed (although two of them looked like they’d been plucked of a small girl suffering from birdy-arm syndrome), two clawed one (later identified as a Glabrezu).
Sneeze then grabbed hold of Curly and Sheheit and disappeared only to reappear behind the beast. I seethed over this latest show of the groups conspiracy against me but tried not to give them the satisfaction of showing it. I decided to join them attacking the Glabrezu, leaving Muffin to whatever fate may throw at him, much like he did to me in Icosial’s tomb.
The other warthog faced, winged creature (apparently a Nalfeshnee) pointed at Muffin and oinked the word “Stun”. Muffin duly obliged by standing stock-still, which is, admittedly, more useful than what he normally does.
I swiped at the legs of the demon as Curly and Sheheit did likewise. All was looking well for the warriors formally known as Deree’s Daring Dynamos but out of (literally nowhere appeared four humanoid demons one behind each of the three most dangerous of us and one behind Sneeze. Grim turned and touched the acid soaked skin of one of the horned beasts and it instantly disappeared. Sheheit refocused her energies on our latest foe hammering and chopping into the nearest, what we later found out were, Babau only to have her weapons both start to sizzle as the acid started to corrode them.
It was at this point that the Nalfeshnee waved its hands and sent a spray of colour over us all. As it struck me I found myself looking over my childhood village from afar. Suddenly I was in the town centre. All the villagers were there working. I spotted my parents behind their vegetable stall. I ran to them but as I approached them, the sky turned black. The clouds overhead gathered together and a bolt of lightning struck the ground in front of me. The ground began to stir, not rumble or shake, but stir. I looked down to see a mass of Kyuss worms start to burrow up from the dirt. I looked back up to my parents only to find myself looking into their now dead and rotting eyes, both of them infested. I tried to scream but my mouth was gagged with a mass of the green maggots.
Suddenly I felt a hairy hand on my shoulder and the nightmare ended. I was back on the trail to Alhaster and the battle was still in the balance. I steadied myself and focussed the mixture of terror and anger onto the nearest Babau, slaughtering it in a whirl of blades.
Meanwhile Curly and Sneeze had been laying waste to the Glabrezu which fell under their combined attacks. As one the others (apart from Muffin who was still standing with a gormless look on his face) turned their attention to the Nalfeshnee who swiped at them as they approached. Just as I thought it was going to slap the treachery out of them it looked to the skies and raised its hands. With a pop another Glabrezu appeared between me and the rest of the group. The Nalfeshnee once again waved its hands and a cloak of darkness wrapped itself around each of the demons.
Unperturbed, I opened up a volley of attacks on the creature only for the black cloak to solidify and block my attacks. As my blade clashed against the energy it shot up my weapon and wrapped around my hand. All my energy started to drain and I found myself barely able to life my weapons.
The Glabrezu then pointed one claw at Curly and Sheheit and the other at Sneeze and Grim. All four of them began floating up into the air before stopping some thirty feet above the heads of the demons. Sneeze was the first to react as he activated his magical flight and flew himself and Grim out of the zone of reversed gravity. Curly swiftly followed with Sheheit.
Whilst Sneeze and Grim attacked the Glabrezu, the other two hewed into the Nalfeshnee killing it with a series of massive blows before turning their attention to the remaining Babau. It was at this point that Muffin came back to reality (or as close to reality as he ever gets) and sent a cone of ice into the chest of the Glabrezu. Grim approached the beast and, muttering a prayer under his breath, threw a mug of ale onto it. The Glabrezu seemed unimpressed but a moment later disappeared with a parting message that forced itself into all our heads:
“When you meet my master, you will die!”
Grim, who is either remaining loyal to his religious brother or is doing a better job of hiding his betrayal than the others, put his hands on my and I felt my strength return. We moved on towards our destination but decided to lick our wounds before entering the city of burglars and murderers and set up camp a few miles outside the city.
Moonday 3rd Goodmonth 595
We arrived at Alhaster just before opening time (a plan Grim had had ever since he picked the camp site last night me thinks), having spent a good thirty minutes persuading Curly that it would be of extreme benefit to our investigations and ultimate victory over the prophecy of the Agew of Worms if he didn’t flaunt his symbol of Hieroneous about a city of Hextorites.
We arrived at the gates and I have to say that I’m not all that impressed with their choice of guards: Hobgoblins! Seriously, talk about your typical meatheads. These knuckle-brained idiots had the cheek to demand a hundred gold off us in order to get past them. I told them they could stick it and they threatened us with what they called the “Blessed Angels”. I mocked them for being the only gate guards in the entire world who needed to run to mommy to sort out six travellers and the whole situation seemed to be going the way of fisticuffs (I think the only time myself and Curly have seen eye to eye about anything other than neither one of us wants to share a room with Grim after an all day session) when Grim threw the guards ten gold and marched us all into the city.
The city itself was in the process of being decorated with all kinds of banners and bunting. Sneeze stopped a passer-by and asked what was going on. Apparently we’ve turned up a week before the twentieth anniversary of Zeechy’s ascension to the throne. He’s throwing a gala for all of the “people of note” in the city on the eve of the new moon.
Curly then dived straight into asking about where the temple of St Cuthbert was. The peasant we’d accosted seemed to snicker before saying that the rubble of the temple, which he warned us not to be seen near, was right next to the church of Kord the high priest of which was, according to rumours, planning to disrupt the prince’s celebrations.
Muffin, bless his elven lack of common sense, then enquires as to why a city run by Hextorites hadn’t completely squashed the church of Kord, a question that Curly decided he’d like to answer diplomatically:
“Because Kord is a god of honour and battle who’s followers are warriors of great skill and courage where as Hextor is a whinging, petulant child who’s followers are cowardly bullies who will only engage in conflict if the odds are overwhelmingly in their favour and it seems an entire city against one church isn’t quite enough of an advantage for them.”
After this impressive tirade of abuse, the peasant mumbled some sort of goodbye before rapidly distancing himself from the crazy, and evidently suicidal, foreigners; an action that I was seriously considering imitating.
It was also at this point that Grim suggested that we use different names but was soon distracted by the smell of hops. Fortunately Grim’s nose led us to the church of Kord (admittedly via the Tipsy Nymph brewery) and also allowed us to view some of the sights of the city. The largest, and most significant, sight was a partially constructed ziggurat which already bore a more than passing resemblance to the one at Kuluth-Mar thanks to the spire atop it. Another passer-by informed us that the prince had ordered it made at great expense and had even knocked down houses of some nobles in order to make space for it. Sheheit thinks that it’ll be completed in a couple of months which means, if my guess is right, that in a couple of months Zeechy is going to kill the populous in order to attain deific status.
With that thought running, or, in Curly’s case, ambling, through our minds, we continued on. The church of Kord was a fairly small building that had a few people working outside it. Not knowing whether we’d be meeting friend or foe we skirted around it and found ourselves looking on the skeleton of the temple of St Cuthbert. The stained glass windows were melted and the roof had collapsed but the four walls still stood and a door still bared the entrance.
With the warning of the first local guide still fresh, I decided that it’d be best if I snuck across first to see if it would be worth the others risking it. Beyond the door the damage wasn’t as bad as I’d expected: there was rubble on the floor but other than the roof, the place seemed fairly intact. I there was something odd about the place that I couldn’t put my finger on it until I noticed a particular pile of rubble had been moved. After a brief investigation I found a trap door in the floor.
I ushered the others across and let my meat-shields open the door which opened on some stairs at the bottom of which was a small mausoleum. Twelve tombs lay desecrated around a central hall whose walls were pitted with a number of tunnels that Grim was convinced were made by repeated castings of a spell to reshape stone.
It was at this point that I heard some moaning coming from one of the tunnels at the top of a pile of rubble. I moved up and huddling in the shadows was something that looked like the thing (and I use the word “thing” used in the loosest possible terms) that Grim left with after the Feral Dog’s annual week long drink-a-thon last year: it was a ghoul that was wearing the ceremonial garbs of a priest of St Cuthbert. I tried to use myself as bait (a plan that the others were all too happy to agree to) to try and draw it out into the open but it wasn’t biting – well not initially anyway. First it started to mumble some incantations. A rainbow coloured spray (what in Hanseath’s grand barrel of ale is it with all these rainbow spray spells that every creature has suddenly started casting? What happened to the good old days when the only colour we ever had spraying over us was the glistening red of the blood spurting from the wounds we inflicted on our foes?) washed over us but nothing seemed to happen.
Myself, Sheheit and Curly set about scrambling up the rock and hewing into it. It futiley tried to slash us with its claws but its vain attempts at slaughtering us were quickly ended by Grim who, unable to defy gravity and get his mass up the rubble, cast a searing beam of light which nearly obliterated the creature.
We searched the tombs but there was nothing left. With the others either being too tall, too wide or too hermaphroditical to fit easily down the tunnels, it was left to myself to investigate them. I have to be honest I enjoyed the time alone, brief as it was. It reminded me of when I’d first left my village with nothing but my wiles (and a small dagger) to keep me safe.
The tunnels, rather boringly, all opened into different parts of the sewers. I relayed this message to the others and it was decided that we could use this as a hideout if necessary and it would probably be best if we found a place through the sewers that was less exposed than the temple ruins to use as our entrance.
After squeezing through the tunnels and moaning about the smell, Muffin said that, according to his calculations, the entrance above should lead us out somewhere near the docks. We looked to Grim and Sheheit for confirmation but they simply shrugged (so much for the legendary underground navigation skills of the dwarves). We suck out and indeed found ourselves coming out into an alleyway leading towards the docks. The alley itself was next to a building that bore the name “Haoffs Solutions: Mercenaries for Hire” (not sure what other types of mercenaries there are). We would have investigated Hoff but it seemed like too much hassle.
Along the docks themselves we could see a crowd gathered around something I hadn’t ever seen before: a set of gallows. Before we realised it might be a bad idea, we wandered over. No sooner had we arrived than Curly was busy asking what the three people being escorted up were being charged with. Fortunately for us it turned out that they had been members of the Ebon Triad who were to be executed and their bodies to be hung out on display at Traitors Grave. We watched as the proclamation was made and the lever was pulled but left before the bodies had stopped twitching. Sneeze, who had obviously no stomach for such macabre things, had busied himself by asking one of the crowd how they had been caught (apparently it was an anonymous tip) before pressing the tomato hurling commoner about Lashonna, the “Scourge of the Triad”. To my complete surprise he informed us that she wasn’t dead and in fact lived just up the street on an estate called ‘Mistwall Manor’.
We arrived at Mistwall manor (which was surprisingly close to the graveyard) only to be informed by the upperty gate guard that “Mistress” Lashonna would be able to see us and the next available appointment would be in two months. He suggested that if we wanted to speak to her sooner, then we might have a chance at the upcoming gala that the prince was throwing. He said that we might be able to score an invite if we spoke to a man called Armlin Rloratia who would be at the Deluxery, a high-class casino and brothel. Some of the nobles had declined to come to the party and he’d been given the job of making sure the spare seats were taken up by the right sort of people (Hanseath knows how we’re going to get one then – I can’t imagine five more unlikely candidates then my compatriots: a man so slow that when his body moves it takes his mind ten seconds to realise it’s gone, a dwarf who after half the night will have drunk so much ale that the room will be emptied by the noxious gas he’ll be issuing from both ends, a te-totaller who’s conversation could put a rutting rhino to sleep; another dwarf so unisexual that even other dwarves don’t know whether to fight it or chat it up and an elf).
Anyway, we left a message with the guy on the gate just in case the “Mistress” should find a spot in her diary for the wolf whackers; the swarm slappers; the grick gankers the owlbear owners; the wind-duke whippers; the kenku killers; the grimlock gutters; the lizrdman lickers; the hobgoblin hammerers; the worg wasters; the troll trouncers; the chimera chrushers; the doppelganger dominators; the mind-flayer maulers; the drow destroyers; the octopin obliterators; the vrock vanquishers; the tiefling thrashers; the ulgurstasta un-animators; the inevitable eradicators; the elemental eliminators; the xorn zappers; the giant gorers; the demon destroyers! Yes ladies and gentlemen, for once the rumours are true! It’s Filge’s final foes; the naga nemeses; Raknians renders; Ilthane’s eviscerators! The tyranny of the Ebon Triad! The worlds only hope against the fulfilment of the prophecy of the Age of Worms! My prince may I present to you the Feral Dog’s finest; the diamonds of Diamond Lake; the saviours of the Free City themselves - Deree’s Daring Dynamos!!!!!!! (pause for rapturous applause).
Sorry. That did seem a bit over-the-top but after seeing the invite (which we got after I had to vouch for the rest of my group (Yup, Armless saw straight away that I was the leader of this rag-tag gang and took me to one side and said that if any of them caused a fuss at the party, I would be the one to pay – something I’m not completely happy with)) and the activities on it I thought it might be best to get in some practice bigging up our many, many conquests... combative conquests that is – probably not enough time for all my other conquests...
I came back with the invite and explained the etiquette and consequences for any breeches of it (namely my neck): dress nice, no weapons, bring a gift worth at least two thousand gp for the prince.
Curly’s face was a picture until we explained that the last event wasn’t in fact men rodgering other men from the rear, but rather a contest to see who could tell the story of daring feats they had achieved the most impressively.
We managed to tear Grim away from his letching at the expensive living ornaments that were tyring to fleece him less subtly than the gate guards and made towards the exit. On the way out I spotted some people I recognised. At first I couldn’t place them and it was only when Sneeze muttered that he hadn’t seen a place so decadent since the Emporium in Dimond Lake that it hit me: that was where I’d seen them. A few minutes of “umming” and “arring” and “no, that doesn’t sound right” and we eventually managed to get their names: Professor Montague Marat and a quogoth called Shag Solomon.
Anyway, Tiddles and Ratty didn’t spot us... or if they did they didn’t recognise us... or if they did they didn’t acknowledge us... or if they did we didn’t see it (probably the latter... how could you not see, remember or acknowledge me?) so we booked ourselves into an inn called “Zeech’s Regret” which had more than its fair share of drunken rumour merchants in. The main rumour that was being bandied about was that the black dragon that resided on the island of Traitors Grave had been killed and that its treasure had been left unguarded (although one of the drunks said that some of his friends had gone to see and hadn’t come back). Either way it’s something to look at when we go there tomorrow: I think we should talk to the corpses of the three Ebon Triad members and see exactly what their business is in the city.
Godsday 4th Goodmonth 595
Turns out that the Island of Traitors Grave isn’t really an islad... well, not all the time. At low tide you can walk to it from certain points outside the city. Unfortunately for us it wasn’t low tide. Fortunately for us Grim was able to cast a spell that let us walk on water so without even having time to let our breakfast (or in Grim’s case, breakfasts) settle, we found ourselves walking through a mosquito infested bog heading towards three yard arms where the corpses of the three Triad members hung as a warning to all ships passing along the Eel river towards Alhaster. The mosquitoes seemed particularly fond of Grim for some reason... must have been the smell.
Muffin, Sneeze and Curly spent most of last night devising questions we could ask the traitors whilst Grim was either trying to convert Sheheit to Hanseath or get him/her to bed and once and for all settle our bet of whether he/she was a he, a she or a he-she. I think he might have got in with him/her but he passed out before the deed could be sealed. Once again I found myself lugging him up the stairs of an inn. It was at this all too familiar point that I changed my mind about being the one to take the responsibility for eneryones actions at the party – now I’m thinking that this is the perfect opportunity to find out once and for all whether they remain loyal to me or are plotting against me. If they can restrain themselves at the party it would go a long way to restoring the trust I once had in them. If not then my belief will be confirmed although that may be somewhat of a Pyrrhic victory since I’ll probably be taken away and executed.
We managed to make it to the corpse display and Grim rather morbidly cast a spell to speak with them. It was fairly useful and the questions that the three nerds, I do apologise; two nerds and the dead weight came up with weren’t half bad, although they did need some editing. Here’s what we asked and what we found out:
Q. Were you a member of the Ebon Triad?
A. Yes
Q. Who is the leader of the Ebon Triad in Alhaster?
A. Don’t know
Q. Where is the Ebon Triads base of operations in Alhaster?
A. The Sinners Sanctum
Q. What is the purpose of the ziggurat being built in Alahster?
A. Don’t know
Q. Is Zeechy an ally of the Ebon Triad?
A. No
Q. Tell us all you know about Barricade?
A. Who’s Barricade?
Q. Are there any Triad spies in the church of Kord?
A. Don’t know
Q. What street in Alahaster is the Sinners Sanctum on?
A. Arena Street
Q. What are the Triads plans in the Alhaster?
A. Waiting for the manifestation of their overgod
So I guess our next stop will be the Sinners Sanctum on Arena Street.
Just as the questioning of the dead had finished I noticed something weird in the river. Shadows were flitting around and bubbles started to form on the surface. I warned the others and made ready for battle, a move that proved unnecessary as four small black dragons (well, small for dragons anyway. Pretty big for fish) appeared waving the proverbial white flag. They said they had a proposition for us. About two months ago their sire, Ilthane, had gone missing (oops!) and they had been left to fend for themselves off fish from the river. Before she had left, their mother had been conducting experiments and one day one of these experiments had broken free and driven them out of their lair. They said that if we could kill this abomination then we could help ourselves to their mother’s treasure.
After talking about it we agreed and began quizzing them about this creature. They said it could breathe acid like they could and stood on all fours like a dragon but that’s where the similarities ended. Acid seemed to drip from its entire body and it had tendrils that could whip out with blinding speed. They also said that when they went to claw at it sometimes their blows would pass straight through it. They seemed to quake as they described its head: a mass of human and draconic skulls that writhed around like snakes in a bag.
Muffin said it sounded like some kind of undead creature but none that he’d ever heard of.
With a bit of a shrug we agreed to the deal that the baby black dragons would no doubt renege on and they promptly led us to their lair which turned out to be behind a set of hefty stone doors followed by a thirty foot drop. After Muffin and Grim had cast some spells to speed us up and help us out we descended into the noxious pit that was Grims bedro... that was the creature’s lair. Acid corrosion was everywhere, even the rock walls were stained white in places. In the corner there was a bubbling oily pool which started to stir into life. Out rose a monstrosity much like the dragons had described.
Immediately we charged the creature and tried to swarm around it but it was too agile. It managed to evade our trap and shift into a position where it could breathe on us. I managed to avoid the stream of acid but inhaled the poisonous gas. As I did I felt some of my strength leave me but it wasn’t enough to slow me down. We managed to trap the creature in the corner and a cone of fire burst above our heads, striking at the creature. Unfortunately for us, Muffin’s continuing run of uselessness looked like it would enter its fourth month without missing a beat as it passed harmlessly through the abomination. The rest of set about it like real men/unisexual bipeds by hacking it to death with swords. It tried one last swan song, lashing out at us all with its tendrils but it barely had the energy to finish its sweeping attack before it oozed out of existence.
With Muffin and Grim’s protection spells still fully in operation, and deciding that fighting dragons inside a confined area would be a tad easier than fighting them in the open air, we called down Ilthane’s offspring.
They seemed to survey our work before unleashing their breath weapons upon us. We cursed their sudden but inevitable betrayal as the acid harmlessly washed over us. We set about swatting the overgrown moths and the fight was over so quickly I barely had time to taunt them about the fact that we’d slain their mother.
We scouted around the “treasure trove” but unfortunately the acid creature had destroyed a lot of it. All we found was a bit of cash and jewellery and three vials (although Muffin did say that the liquid inside the vials radiated strong magic).
As we were leaving I glanced once more at the dragons and the words “people of note” sprung into my mind. I got Grim to hack off their heads and Sheheit to pull out their claws whilst I set about skinning them – not sure if the heads are worth two thousand gold, but they’ll certainly get people talking as we parade through town with them, the claws will make an interesting conversation starter at the braggery and the skins, although not tough enough to be effective as armour, will certainly make striking cloaks to wear to the prince’s ball.
The heads did the trick with the guards as they gawked at us as we passed them and people in the street did start muttering as we travelled along. We decided to stop at Mistwall Manor to see if Whupa was at home. A different gate guard told us that she was away on business and would be back just in time for Zeechy’s shindig.
Resigned to the fact that we weren’t going to meet her, we headed to “Alextradis’ Boudois” where , in exchange for any excess dragon skin, he agreed to make us each a cloak. We then went to the rather more lamely names “Jewellery by Jim” who agreed to make us each a dragon claw necklace in exchange for money.
As we were meandering back to the inn where we would discuss our next move, we were accosted by a gang of hobgoblins. I say accosted: one of them, who had a dire-boar on a lead and a raven on his shoulder and introduced himself as B’Kruss, stopped us and said that he’d been looking for us (which is another thing to brag about cos personally, I’ve never heard of him and he’s obviously heard of us).
Well Crusty, apparently the leader of the Knights of Red Hand started asking all sorts of questions about where we’re from and what we’ve done and then promptly interrupted us to tell us about his “feats” of bravery. Apparently Crusty once jumped a thirty foot cavern to get to a dragon that was busy hiding from him. Personally I’m guessing that the dragon, what with it’s heightened sense of smell, was merely trying not to get within sniffing distance of the foul smelling furball.
Anyway he then challenges us to a manly jumping competition. Personally I’d have preferred to just drop our pants and get it over with there and then, or at least pee up the wall – either of those would have been quicker, but Sneeze decided to take him up on it. So there we are, in the middle of the street with two “grown men” stripping down to their unmentionables before heading off to the rooftop to jump across an alley with us at the bottom cheering and jeering. Sneeze gave it his best shot but, having not spent his life bounding around, he only just made it and had to catch on to the side of the building and drag himself up whereas the challenger, who unsurprisingly was able to jump like the offspring of a gambol, made it across with ease. Who’d have thought it? A man comes up to and challenges you to something and it turns out he’s really good at that thing!
With their group cheering and mocking one of them challenged us to a horse riding competition. Grim countered with a drinking competition but all of them declined and wandered off into the city gloating. Grim had to, once again, settle for having a drinking competition against the only man that can offer any kind of resistance: himself.
EPIC, Deree!
Thanks a lot for sharing your adventures. A nice stray from work. :-)
You remind me a bit too much of the halfling bard I'm playing Savage Tide with (Lem!) running through the AoW AP (which I DM).
We need YOU to join the HLF (Halfling Liberation Front). No more opression, no more lack of respect! Halflings unite against the tall opression! Take back the power from the "Man"!!
Really, thank you for these diaries.
Thank you very much Mistral. It's nice to know people are enjoying it and all the comments keep me going.
In regards to the HLF: just tell me where to sign! We'll wrest the power back from the Lankies: soon they'll lie prostrate at our feet looking up at us!!! Bwahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!