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I actually almost felt bad for the night crew, they had all the competent workers in during the day and it's all newbs and B team.

And the closing manager was sick.

Almost.


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Questions that a six year old asks that merit a follow up.

"Mom, can I have the knife yet?" - Tiny T-Rex, running into the kitchen.

It turns out he meant the spatula she was using to make lavender brownies.


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And this is my 20,001 post as captain yesterday (with another 7,200+ from aliases).

Clearly longevity has nothing to do with quality.


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HUZZAH! Congratulations!


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I just happened to notice all those zeros at the right time.


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captain yesterday wrote:

And this is my 20,001 post as captain yesterday (with another 7,200+ from aliases).

Clearly longevity has nothing to do with quality.

Congrats, Cap!


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Now comes the hard part.

Collecting them all for my Fifty Shades Of Grey fan fiction adaption of The Hunger Games.


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My mother and I loved the movie.


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Fifty Shades Of Grey or The Hunger Games.

I'll agree The Hunger Games was pretty good.


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captain yesterday wrote:

Questions that a six year old asks that merit a follow up.

"Mom, can I have the knife yet?" - Tiny T-Rex, running into the kitchen.

It turns out he meant the spatula she was using to make lavender brownies.

Lavender borwnies? That sounds amazing! Can I have the recipe please? :)


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captain yesterday wrote:

I actually almost felt bad for the night crew, they had all the competent workers in during the day and it's all newbs and B team.

And the closing manager was sick.

Almost.

Is this one of those cases where "I'd feel sorry for them if the f&+*ers didn't deserve it!"?


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It would seem that my wife and I are raising very optimistic kids. Every one of the dozens of glasses they leave scattered around the house are at least half full.


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Somewhere, right now, an old lady is reading a book entitled "How to use the Internet", while her grandson is in the next room Googling "How to read a book".


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Today my five-year-old screamed at me "I don't wanna be your daughter anymore! I QUIT!!!" and stomped away. Just like that. No two weeks notice or anything. She'd better not be expecting me to write her a reference for her next position as someone's daughter.


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Teacher: "I asked you to draw a picture of a cow and some grass, but all you've drawn is a cow. Where is the grass?"
Little Johnny: "The cow ate it."


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Maybe I'm a little weird, but I think it's fun to say "No thanks, I'm a vegetarian" whenever someone tries to hand me their baby.


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Just happened: Kid and his mom are riding up the elevator with me (i need something from a top storage closet) Kid trying to be funny asks "So do you kill us on the elevator or when we are asleep in our rooms?" I chuckle lightly turn to him and as serious as I can manage "Its much easier when their asleep" He got super quiet after that...


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My kids saw the end of Titanic, and asked why the ship sank. I told them "Because Jack and Rose had premarital sex".


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I believe that the only reason we give kids middle names is so that they know when they're really in trouble.


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Vidmaster7 wrote:
Just happened: Kid and his mom are riding up the elevator with me (i need something from a top storage closet) Kid trying to be funny asks "So do you kill us on the elevator or when we are asleep in our rooms?" I chuckle lightly turn to him and as serious as I can manage "Its much easier when their asleep" He got super quiet after that...

"Oh, don't worry kid. The ghosts aren't going to let you sleep tonight anyways."


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gran rey de los mono wrote:
It would seem that my wife and I are raising very optimistic kids. Every one of the dozens of glasses they leave scattered around the house are at least half full.

My girl friend does that. If we ever get attacked from the aliens from signs we are set.


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Playing with my toddler is like half play and half self-defense.


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Imagine being 5 minutes from the end of the longest movie ever, and then it starts over from the beginning because they forgot to put something important in there. That's my kid telling a story.


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I've never played the bagpipes, but I have carried a screaming 3-year-old on my shoulder, which is pretty much the same thing.


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The kids asked me if they could do something, and I said yes. Then my wife lowered my security clearance, so I'm no longer allowed to make those kinds of decisions anymore.


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A lot of parenting jokes tonight. Pretty good tho.


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Back when I was in high school I needed my birth certificate for something, I don't remember what. I asked my dad for it, and he handed me a letter of apology from Trojan Condoms.


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Vidmaster7 wrote:
A lot of parenting jokes tonight. Pretty good tho.

Those are the ones that I came across tonight.

I mean...jokes? What jokes? These are all totally real anecdotes from my life.


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Orthos wrote:
Linky Longears wrote:
Orthos wrote:
lisamarlene wrote:
OMG, Kaylee I love you! We named our daughter after you!
At least Kaylee is a relatively normal name that's not as likely to get you picked on.
Do you remember?
Funny enough, despite being practically raised on 80s music (I was born in the year on that song), I don't remember this song at all.

I wasn't born until the 90's but I like hearing this there are things from the 80s I did not like. Then again I grew up mostly on 60's and 70s music. The other Marillion song I don't think I can link as it pretty political. song I was playing that someone thought was from castlevania before starfinder table started


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Re: Suicide. The way I see it, there are two distinct situations. If the person is terminally ill, I am quite willing to let them draw their own line. However, in most situations a patient can have a decent end, even at home, with sufficient painkillers and a few other (cheap) drugs.

A person who is not dying, on the other hand, should always receive an antidepressive treatment first. Even people who are in massive pain do want to see what's going to happen. Seeking suicide is not a rational thing to do, no matter how many try to spread that particular myth. Someone who does is depressed, and that can be treated. And should. Whatever the afterlife is, nobody can be in a hurry to reach it.

Grand Lodge

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I am a half orc that came from a one night stand between a bouncer and a half orc bard who left on more adventures. Unfortunately my mom died in a fire during the goblinoid wars trying to save the owner of the tavern who was still sleeping inside. I made it out alive. I do not know where my father is.


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A coworker unfriended me on Facebook just because every time she posted a picture of her baby I commented "Your kid looks the same as it did 5 minutes ago."


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I don't know what it is but the forums are acting up on me tonight they keep saying posts are their that are not.


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gran rey de los mono wrote:
A coworker unfriended me on Facebook just because every time she posted a picture of her baby I commented "Your kid looks the same as it did 5 minutes ago."

Co-workers? Ha your third shift like me. You don't know those people. (also I think one of my posts disapaeared. EDIT: Oh and now its back sooo weird)


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I think daylight savings has the gremlins working overtime tonight.


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Vidmaster7 wrote:
gran rey de los mono wrote:
A coworker unfriended me on Facebook just because every time she posted a picture of her baby I commented "Your kid looks the same as it did 5 minutes ago."
Co-workers? Ha your third shift like me. You don't know those people. (also I think one of my posts disapaeared. EDIT: Oh and now its back sooo weird)

I...know who...some of them are.


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And now I gotta go. Whee.


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gran rey de los mono wrote:
I think daylight savings has the gremlins working overtime tonight.

Your probably right my post was probably moved back an hour.


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F$+~ you daylight savings time!


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Their is good statistical evidence that Day light savings time causes more problem then it supposedly fixes. I'f i'm not mistaken their is even a group lobbying to get rid of it. I'm ok with this I had to work an extra hour cause of that nonsense!


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They probably created it to stick it to the Marxists, for some reason.

At any rate, a six year old has no concept of daylight savings time, they just know what time they usually wake (me) up.


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captain yesterday wrote:

Fifty Shades Of Grey or The Hunger Games.

I'll agree The Hunger Games was pretty good.

No, Cap. I meant Thor Ragnarok. Which was the movie I said I'd take her to see.


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So, Ragnarok is like Fifty Shades Of Grey.

I guess that explains the alien arena...


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If you have a better way to watch Micronians do it, I'd like to hear it.


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Cap, Cap, Cap. Neither my mother nor I saw Fifty Shades. We're not interested in those type of movies. I will, however, take her to see the next Star Wars movie. Question: Do you get fixated on things if you've had too much coffee?


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I haven't had coffee yet today.


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So, it's the opposite then?


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I don't know, I haven't had coffee yet today.


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He's not functioning yet don't ask him hard questions!


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Yes, I would like something hard.

Maybe with a coffee chaser, since it's before 7 am.

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