I’m working my group through RotR and thought I’d share the circus… adventures.
Characters:
Atticus: Elven ranger raised by gnolls, he collects “trophies” from all his kills and then uses his cooking skills to … uh, celebrate his victory.
Cinocard: Gnome sorcerer (read his name backwards and you get his bloodline) that wishes he could have been born a goblin and has somewhat of a gambling addiction. Desperately wants to fly. Has done that frequently so far … sort of as you’ll see.
CJ Deathpit: “A human shepherd kidnapped by wizards, experimented upon by mixing in troll blood so that he now has really slow regeneration, scent, a couple other ‘things’, and an affinity to use improvised weapons instead of his two-handed sword, especially if there’s farm implements nearby.”
Harper: A Varisian half-elf bard (wow, somebody normal!)
Una al Miran: An Absalomian (Half Garundi-Half Vudrani, “it’s a melting pot after all”) cleric of Sarenrae with over 20 pages of backstory and a tendency towards narcoleptic summoning.
So … yeah, quite the motley crew.
*ahem*
Session 1 - Beware of Flying Gnomes and Boiling Goblins
Una was asked by her order to travel to the town of Sandpoint to be their representative during the dedication of Sandpoint’s new cathedral. Having nothing better to do, her friends decided to accompany her. Reaching Sandpoint a few days before the autumnal equinox, the day of the dedication, the party settles in. The party decides upon the Rusty Dragon Inn, due to its cheap rates, good food, and for Cinocard, the exotically attractive proprietor Ameiko Kaijitsu. The party waits out the next couple days in relative relaxation. Cino finds the Hagfish and begins a momentous losing streak at cards, dice, guess-the-number, no-way-anybody-can-lose, holy-cow-the-gnome-can’t-even-win-this-game-against-himself, and other such games of chance.
Finally the day of the ceremony arrives. Joining the townsfolk and other out-of-town representatives, the party settles in for a long series of speeches by the mayor (fun), sheriff (boring, especially the warning about the bonfire), the owner of the local theatre (a long-winded and wandering commercial for his new play), and the new priest of the temple (who ups the fun factor by releasing a thousand swallowtail butterflies, perfect for the easily distracted gnome … Atticus eats one). The priest, Father Zantus, rings in noon and dismisses the crowd to dinner, supplied free of charge by the local taverns and inns. As the party suspected, Ameiko’s spicy curry wins the unofficial popularity contest. Even Atticus, no novice to a kitchen himself, is impressed.
Following lunch comes a long afternoon of conversations and watching children chase butterflies through the courtyard. Finally, as the sun sinks towards the horizon, Father Zantus again mounts the stage and approaches the podium. Unable to get the square’s attendees’ attention, he grins and smacks a thunderstone down upon the podium. The thunderclap startles Atticus who spins about and considers fleeing down an alley.
Laughing at Atticus’ reaction, Father Zantus opens his mouth to start the dedication ceremony, and a woman’s scream slices through the gathers. Another and another scream echo around the square, joined by a high-pitched not quite human chanting. Half the party recognize it: goblins. Making out the song, they realize that things are about to get interesting.
Chaos erupts!
A small, dark shape darts through the crowd and a stray dog under a nearby wagon yelps once. Casting about for what’s going on, some of the party notes the dog lying in a spreading pool of blood with a goblin hiding in the shadow of the wagon, licking blood off of a wickedly shaped weapon that the ranger recognizes as a dogslicer. Suddenly another goblin leaps atop the buffet table behind them. Snarling, it raises its dogslicer … and sudden gets distracted by some nearby salmon. Dropping its weapon, it grabs the salmon and starts chowing down, stuffing pieces into its pockets for later.
Being good little boy, and girl, scouts, the party is prepared for battle – fully armed and armored (gotta watch out for those dangerous butterflies after all). Atticus spins off his bow and starts firing at the distant goblin while CJ makes a grab at the one on the table; who dances away, now with a ham hock in its hand. Said goblin, suddenly remembering why it’s there, smacks Una upside the head with the ham, leaving a greasy smear on the side of her face. Another goblin darts under the table, coming at CJ’s knees while Cinocard pops the distant goblin with a magic missile.
CJ finally manages to grab the table dancing goblin and promptly dunks it head first into a large, boiling pot of lobster chowder (supplied by the Hagfish tavern). Cino jumps to the top of the table to get a better view of the fight and gets completely distracted by the sight of goblin feet kicking above the rim of the large pot. The goblin under the table darts out, and meets its end while Atticus pops an arrow through the distant goblin as it charges at the party and CJ finally feels the stewing goblin jerk one last time.
The party looks about, assessing the situation. Goblins gambol about, slashing anything and everything. Many goblin bodies lay strewn about. As one plunges from a roof to lie motionless on the street below, they realize that the goblins are doing as much damage to themselves as the party, and the town’s guard, are. Unfortunately, a few non-goblin bodies like scattered about too.
Atticus grabs a spoon and tries the goblin lobster stew. Wrinkling his nose up in disgust, he finds some salt and stirs it in. Now happy with the taste, he dishes out a bowl to munch on while looking about.
Suddenly a nearby wagon full of fuel for the night’s bonfire explodes into flame. Four goblins come from behind it staring gleefully at the fire. One of them looks at the house next to it and grins, using its torch to try to set it ablaze too. They notice the party and charge. A grizzled fifth goblin comes out from behind the wagon. Whereas the rest of the goblins have been screeching their song off-key, this one maintains a steady and well-performed variant.
The goblins reach the party before they can react and stab out with their torches. CJ suddenly realizes the hard way that one of the alchemy fire flasks on his bandolier has a leak. He strips the whole bandolier off and tosses it at the chanting goblin. The vials fall out of the bandolier as they fly, immolating the chanting goblin and the straggler who had tried to set the house on fire. The remaining goblins, staring mouths agape at the instantly charred remains, flee. Two are instantly cut down while the third manages to duck under the table to escape. Cinocard, seeing his chance, extend his claws and leaps off the table. He intended to spring upon the fleeing goblin’s back. Instead he lands face-first on the hard-packed ground of the square.
Pausing to catch their breaths, the party notes that the square is now empty save for them and the bodies. The fighting, however, is still a general din rising up throughout town. Suddenly the sound of growls and a call for help comes from the north. Racing down the street around the cathedral, they see a nobleman cowering behind a rain barrel favoring a bloody leg while a large mastiff stands protectively nearby, snarling at a goblin mounted upon a large, mostly hairless, dog-looking thing. A couple other goblins cower nearby, obviously frightened by the nobleman’s dog.
The mounted goblin wields a weapon similar to the dogslicers but mounted on a shaft of wood like a halberd, a horsechopper. It stares at the dog, and as the party rounds corner, runs the dog through with the horsechopper. With the dog dead, the other goblins regain their courage and charge the nobleman.
Atticus and Harper stop and start firing arrows and crossbow bolts, and Harper additionally begins singing to help the party counter the goblins’ chanting. Cinocard turns to CJ and screams “throw me!” CJ barely pauses as he scoops up the gnome and tosses him overhanded at the pair of goblins. It’s a perfect toss and Cinocard, his claws extended again, crashes into them like a gnome bowling ball.
CJ then charges the mounted goblin and lines up a massive kick. The goblin goes flying, flips three times in the air, and lands on its feet with a stunned look on its face. With a maniacal gleam in its eye, it returns the charge as the goblin dog turns on CJ. Una rushes up to aid the nobleman as two more goblins charge him. One of the goblin leaps atop the rain barrel to attack him … forgetting that rain barrels can only be such if they have no tops. It disappears from view as water geysers up into the sky. It eventually springs back up into view, still chanting the goblin war song.
Baring her mace, Una keeps the goblins off the noble as Atticus begins to show the prowess of a ranger: one-shotting goblin after goblin. Cinocard dashes to assist CJ as he starts to suffer from the coordinated attacks of the goblin and the dog-thing.
Finally the party finishes off the goblins, leaving the rat-dog-thing. CJ roars and grabs it by the tail, flinging it into the rain barrel a few feet away. Well, he intended to at least. Mid-swing he realizes why the weight’s wrong. Cinocard had leveled a swipe at the goblin dog, causing it to leap aside. He jumps forward, pressing his attack only to feel extreme pain atop his head. He looks up to discover he’s actually looking down CJ’s arm; and that his feet are pointed straight up into the sky. CJ had missed the goblin dog and grabbed Cino by mistake. With a yelp and a thud, Cino finds himself wrapped around the rain barrel, out of the fight. Una manages to finish off the goblin dog while simultaneously staring aghast at the flying gnome.
With that, the fighting in town appears to be ending as goblins stream out any way they can, as long as it’s nowhere near the maniacs. Harper rushes up to the nobleman and heals him while Una attends to a delirious Cinocard. The noble immediately springs to his feet, thanking Harper profusely, she is as gentle with her healing as she is deadly with her crossbow; both of which pale to her beauty. He thanks the party for saving his life and invite them to seek him out at the Rusty Dragon Inn he’ll reward them properly, especially the group’s fine maidens, angels of mercy to the innocent and death to the enemy.
Tune in next time for Part Two: Wagons Full of Food!
