Not trying to be offensive with my query, but is there any new/original in the spell/equipment/items lists?
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From the window of souls to the physicians phantasm. Upon our recovery we informed Lady Winter of the dead end situation we had discovered in the section of the building we had searched. She told us that this news was disturbing as the only other exit was blocked by the nasty giant eyeball behind the curtain. She also added the offices adjacent to the curtained area held records of patients which interested us. Maybe some small clues could be collected as to our reason for being in the asylum? During the initial search of the room we heard whimpering cries come from the hall. All the residents had been locked into the chapel to lessen their exposure to the eye or any affects that may result in our interaction with it. When we investigated the whimpering we found it emanating from the eye itself. There was no response when I attempted to speak to the disembodied voice. The knight expressed his intent to club the eye and I asked if he would appreciate a protective incantation. He agreed and I cast it upon him. At this he boldly stepped into a great strike. The foul smell of ammonia assaulted our senses as great yellow ooze erupted from the wound inflicted from his strike. The eye responded by trying to bite back. The pupil formed into a prehensile limb ending in a toothy maw which snapped at the knight missing thankfully. This was immediately followed by three overlapping odd sounding voices shouting “WHO HAVE I BECOME” in unison. Crossbow bolts pierced it and it eventually dissolved into a puddle of ammonia. The knight and I came to the realization that this was a haunt or for the uneducated dolts, a physical manifestation of evil. As the eye dissolved I sent an arcane bolt into the brick wall it had been attached to. This quickly exhibited the ability to regenerate, and while the knight tried to bash his way past it with brute force I remembered haunts may be overcome however if not properly remedied the re-occurrence was assured. That led me to consider what had been shouted by the eerie voices. This was an eye calling out to SEE WHAT IT HAD BECOME….so show it. We gathered up the standing mirror from the other room and carefully placed it in front of where the eye manifested, though behind the curtain. While others returned to the chapel stab rabbit and I combed the medical records for clues. It took some time but the eye did reappear behind the curtain and once shown it’s likeness both the eye and wall disappeared. Beyond it was a door frame with shattered remnants of a door. Before we ventured further into the asylum one of the guards, a garundi named Tolman presented us with a drawing he had made. It was of our group and he had captured us in the our individual acts of trying to help on the night of our arrival.I praised and thanked him and rolled it carefully placing it in my scroll tube. Beyond the door was a great reception hall, once splendid, now stood in ruin. Tall arched and barred windows allowed vision to the exterior and the roiling yellow fog. These windows flanked a set of double doors leading to the outside and said strangely active fog. Not a favorable option at this point! A large desk and chair sat at the center of this tall room. The Captain and Winter had mentioned building a new barricade at the shattered door and I felt this desk would provide a great bulwark to that end. So the Grenadier pulled it towards the door whilst I supervised lending the occasional hand as the need required. Across the room a wide hall lay out before us dark and lonely but we chose to check the remaining doors of this room first. The single door was immovable, likely collapsed and blocked or well barricaded, either way we did not make entry…though maybe later we could take the door down for fire wood for the sanctuary just to be certain it isn’t a barricade. The double doors opposite the main entrance doors opened into a once grand library filled with works commensurate with treating the maladies of asylum inmates. An extensive collection of texts which seemed, in part, to have been pilfered or “borrowed” from schools further afield. To my disgust it was found to be infested by more rat-things….HECATES HOMONCULUS, HOW I DO HATE RATS! Three tiny rat bodied, human headed and limbed beasts assailed us with thrown books and until we all got our bearings for combat, they battered our group mercilessly. WHO THROWS BOOKS!?! I unleashed a couple of arcane bolts as the others shot crossbows and cleaved at them. More tomes flew from the shelves at us and try as we might it seemed our efforts were lacking in effect. FOR THE KNOWLEDGE OF POLYMEDES STOP!! I was at the precipice of unbridled rage when I was struck on the bridge of the nose with the back binding of a sizeable codex. “YOU PRE-GALORIAN, PRE-FRONTAL LOBE, PRE-ERECT BYPEDAL KNUCKLE DRAGGING, INBRED MOUTHBREATHER…YOU DIE!!!” Abandoning my teachings I took my elven blade in hand and ran a ratling, and the book he shielded himself with, through, lifted him aloft and slammed him to the floor, stepped on the book removing my blade from the rat and flicked the remaining fluid from my blade then, as if in unison and by design, each of our band in turn inflicted grievous mortal wounds upon these foul creatures. The knight accepted the surrender of the last one, a “female” of the species calling herself “Jenny Two Tails”…and yes she did...have two! She offered information. I was uninterested in her blathering’s in my seething anger and in time she was permitted to flee with her life. But not without stern warning. They had attracted other rats which I dispatched with great pleasure using an application of minor electrical discharges as they skittered about in the open. Now mostly devoid of vermin we rested and addressed our needs finding our success in this room and the rest of the asylum to import some encouragement, enlightenment, confidence and satisfaction in our ability to work as a team. Personally I can tell you some light reading helped to clear and open my mind. That clarity helped resolve a mental block preventing the solution of theorems and opened the path for the use of new arcane mysteries! As we began to move to the next room Our stab rabbit requested light in one of the rat holes in the wall. He wanted to see if the room to which it led held any surprises beyond the next door we would be opening. So I conjured a small torchlight and sent it through the hole. The stab rabbit spied another ratling and to enormous rats. The ratling launched an arcane bolt at stab rabbit and I returned the favor on his behalf. And before I knew what was transpiring the grenadier and stab rabbit lunged through the double doors and into the hall while the knight and I remained near the rat hole in the library. Suddenly a great flash and muffled explosion engulfed the room beyond the rat hole that led to barely perceptible thumps leading me to believe the enormous rats had met their doom. Then I heard the pat of tiny feet running through the hole towards the knight and me. Only the shuffle of paper gave away his invisible position. I charged my free hand with as much electricity as I could stand and reached for the ratling. I had him in hand but before I could release the charge he slipped away. However he did not dodge the knight’s blade as blood dribbled on the pages upon which he stood. Straight away the wretch savaged my calf…who knew such tiny creatures could inflict such painful, nasty, gaping wounds? Oh and its really bleeding!...gentlemen?...oh guys?...I seem to be losing a substantial quantity of blood here! All the while the group managed to box the little vermin to a wall and once visible, I grabbed his furry scruff and discharged the lot into him. His smoking, dazed, cut and bruised little rat-self then sued for peace…”FOR ALL THAT IS REAL AND TRUE…WHO TAUGHT THESE MICRO-HOMO-RODENTI THE FINER POINTS OF DIPLOMATIC CHIVALRY!?!? I WOULD LIKE TO MEET THAT PERSON IN A YELLOW FOG ALLEY!!!” Fine…I spit anger at him saying “CHOOSE YOUR WORDS WISELY!” as I completed the ethermatrix summons for the next force bolt. The raw energy coalesced into a tiny translucent blue ball in my static discharging hand that had recently shocked him all but senseless. I would have taken great glee in shooting it into his tiny rat carcass but he actually began to spew some relevant verifiable information! So this rat demon seeds name was Rach Mamby and spoke of the ancient times, the final dream, the tatterman or shredman who was summoned from beyond the stars from the king in yellow by the woman witch. It was credible information so he too was released but not before a few parting queries. I asked if he knew of Jenny Two Tales and he disparaged her for her frequency of procreation and her less than acceptable standards which truly did not surprise me. Rach sweetened our parting with a shiny bauble. Anyway, we parted with the understanding that he would NEVER return to the library…EVER! Our apparently, learned Grenadier was able to confirm the rats story in that a witch had summoned something that had destroyed the town of Thrushmoor some 700 years prior, and then was rebuilt around 400 years ago as the story goes. We also put together the reference to the king in yellow being a “Great Old One” by the name of Hastur from an ancient mythology that supposedly predates the settlement of Golarian and the Starfall. There was mention of the long dead witch having built and used stones around “THIS ISLAND”….who knew we were on an island? Stones…interesting! In his profound wisdom and generous benevolence the knight imparted a mystical divine sort of faith healing upon me and the grenadiers formulae that was applied to the stab rabbit also overflowed health to both myself and the now renamed….Holy knight. Though it was a shambles, the library was, for the moment, secure. ( You know I have a plan right? In my spare moments ;) Between unseen servants and prestidigitation I will have it suitable in no time. Oh, and Servants with a floating disk to move rubble into the rat holes…this is a done deal!! :P) Leaving the library we moved down a thin hall over a collapsed portion of wall and into a room with a large table. This table was my perch. Stab rabbit made for a door and was nearly brained by a falling ceramic jar. Suddenly two misshapen lamprey mouthed grayish colored infant like creatures appeared in the doorway as stab rabbit retreated. I fried the ambitious, angry little buggers with a fan of fire. They are intriguing but highly aggressive. OH, and they explode after they expire….interesting!!? The Grenadier called them “pickled punks”….now I’m really intrigued! The room was full of specimen jars filled with brains and tumors (snicker!) Of course they had nested and had been feeding on the remains of what appeared to be one of the asylum’s doctors…OK, NOW THAT’S UNACCEPTABLE BEHAVIOR! In another room we found evidence of their aggressive nature in the form of more deceased staff. Retracing our steps we found the buried remains of another Doctor and with a little effort retrieved a wand of divine inspiration and an alchemist’s hypodermic syringe capable of delivering formulae to those in need. MAJESTIC FINDS INDEED! Across the hall we found a doctor’s office and on the walls where numerous medical drawings of cerebral growths and deformities! COLLECTED! Oh and a wonderful book entitled “The Hydrocephilus” a very valuable piece! It was written by Arosh Chawahr presumably the nest of the pickled punks by the slime trails and empty specimen shelves. Foot notes within the work appear to be penned by Anya Chawahr…I wonder if she is among the dead staff already found? Maybe and maybe not? The next room would be through a set of double doors and upon opening we found an amazing sight, a once in a lifetime occurrence…much more rare actually. The room itself was still in good repair, an opulent two story office and if not for the recurring nightmares outside of the chapel it would be a preferred spot to hole up. It was the office of someone important at the asylum no doubt. While this was more to my liking and taste what was at the center of the room commanded attention. There on the floor in a pool of blood sat a woman. She sat on her legs, her arms hung to her sides touching the floor, her head facing to the sky, eyes glowing bright blue with a pale violet misty vapor swirling up from her mouth. This was High Magic. Many consider it accidental but some do not. Some say it can be voluntary and by the nature of things in the immediate area especially the rumors of occultism I would not, in haste, label this accidental. This unique event is what is known as an Oneiragen. The individual suffers from a curse of some sort it is said, and didn’t we just get word of a witch’s involvement in centuries past? Some say it is from a divination gone awry causing a sliver sized planar rift to open within the person. Generally open only to one plane of existence it transforms them into a magical fountain, with the misty vapors surrounding the oneiragen acting as a conduit to see into the other plane in a dream like state. I had to know what this was like. I had to experience it! I suggested and volunteered to do this. After the moment of shock wore off and their faces returned to normal the Holy Knight suggested I be tied to a rope so they could retrieve me if something unseemly were to happen. With myself secured to a rope I approached the Oneiragen in mild trepidation and overwhelming curiosity. I reached out to the mist in full acceptance of what lay beyond. I found myself in that same eerie city, yellow fog and for what seemed like days I tried to find the alley where our collective dream had happened. Finally exhausted I found the dead end alley evidenced by my party’s severed heads and then….the sound of footsteps, but different. Lighter steps moving away quickly. When I turned back to the scene in the alley I saw the Tatterman looking at me inquisitively, turning his head trying to understand why I was there. He raised his hand shaking his finger as if to warn me not to do something, and with his other hand he raised his jagged razor knife and lunged to strike…and that’s when I woke up surrounded by my peers…in the fancy office with the orneiagen. I shared my experience which they assured me was only momentary though it felt like an eternity. We all agreed that this person was suffering at the delight of the Tatterman and agreed it should come to an end. With that the Holy Knight ended her nightmare and the high magic. Many additional clues and interesting tidbits were collected to include that the orneiragen had been what remained of Doctor Lesandro. Onward.
Course of action… Under protestations in consideration of our sorry state both collectively and individually it was decided we would advance further down the hall away from the barricade and men at arms into a collapsed portion of the building to a room with a pile of rubble with numerous bodies piled together. It looked to be the outcome of a battle between humans and dopplegangers. As we moved closer, I pushed the lights into the proximity of the pile. My cell mate noticed that one of the bodies still clung to life and warily approached until the knight warned of a dark aura about the survivor. The survivor complained of a severely broken leg and on closer inspection it appeared the victims had suffered from doppleganger claw attacks giving us all a moment for pause. Our brave knight discerned foul intent from the victim who we approached cautiously. Suddenly combat ensued and the intent of the “victim” confirmed as crossbow bolts began to be traded. I loosed an arcane bolt as it moved in among us. I applied mystical armor. Stab rabbit moved to advantage delivering a telling blow and woefully punished sending him to the floor nearly lifeless. Under the circumstances I found it necessary to make haste for the door out of proximity of the near deceased and close melee with the doppleganger “victim,”but not before loosing a second arcane bolt. Being the only effective manner in which I am able to contribute in such endeavors I loosed yet a third bolt which was immediately followed by a potion bomb adroitly thrown by my cell mate….henceforth to be known as the “Grenadier,” because the explosion all but obliterated the escaping doppleganger. During the inspection of the scene it appeared that samples had been collected. Skin samples of humans and….dopplegangers? I can only shudder at the thought who or what may be collecting samples of dopplegangers and for what purpose. At any rate I rolled the strips up and packed them away for further investigation at a later date. I also found a holy symbol that was of curious and vaguely familiar design though the affiliation escaped me. I also found a lovely finely worked silver dagger that I instantly offered to the stab rabbit, who had been restored to a bit healthier state. A silver mirror and a pair of red boots were also collected. In our inspection of our latest foes remains we found the door that he had wished to escape by and attempted to enter with caution which was swiftly abandoned and forced. After collecting the requisite number of doppleganger craniums we returned to the barricade to buy passage beyond. Sadly we found it to be a holdout sanctuary with no avenue of escape. The good Watch Captain Vosten York then introduced us to Lady Winter Klazcka who we found was an attendant to a Royal Accuser…(pause!). She explained many number of things. Our location was the aforementioned asylum in Versex County, Ustelav…(GASP!) Accounts of rebellion and religious movements, factions known as apostles or apostates of orpiment? Names such as Danveer, Dr. Lesandrio, and Xandalus who is apparently a poet and artiest of some reknown that painted some famous or infamous city scape? This was the reason the Royal Accuser…Olmary was dispatched. And then there was the devastating earth quake and foul otherworldly weather. The sanctuary housed survivors and patients within a chapel with food, water and mundane necessities at a premium. We offered up water we were able to spare and lent a helping hand. Lady Winter seemed affiliated with a specific shrine in the temple, that of Pharasma which happened to be the holy symbol I had recently acquired. I offered it to her hoping to gain more trust and improve morale. One further comment. A portion of the sanctuary was curtained off and guarded. Upon inquiry Lady Winter reluctantly showed us what was behind it. A great nasty odd looking EYE had manifest Upon and within the wall with an “X” on the pupil…MAJESTIC! After a period of recuperation we continued our trek through the building in an attempt to find an exit from this accursed shatter asylum. The scene before us was one of despair and madness. Three bodies changed by the hands to pipes running over head. One a corpse, the second feeding on the first and the third alive but hopelessly mad. His only response to any query was “Praise Xandalus, Xandulus sees!” followed by “Words fail.” Thankfully the knight was able to separate the others from the mad and he was freed. Unfortunately he immediately fled out of the room and down the hall. Myself and others gave chase to avoid what we knew was about to happen. I even losed a bolt in hopes of slowing his progress of making him fall so others could lend a helping hand, alas his fate was to end in a heap near the barricade with a crossbow bolt in his forehead. We returned to our exploration to find another doppleganger, dressed as a nurse (?) performing exploratory surgery on another doppleganger? Though try as we might our party was again sliced up pretty well by this foe but by some stroke of luck we were victorious. We will resume our course as soon as we can. Although it vexes me mildly I must say my prize to date was presented to me by the stab rabbit, a disembodied eyeball that seems to be...still functional…ing!?! A more strange and wonderful mystery!
In the bruised twilight I find myself wandering in a gray brick walled maze of alleys. Unfamiliar and strange this place? A yellow-ish fog…sulphur? I am quite certain that…I (?)….have….positively NO IDEA WHO I AM! Oh how horrid! I don’t want to go back to that place, they lie and enjoy it! None can be trusted. How am I to….what am I….where am I….where are the townsfolk? This is a town? This doesn’t seem right. Something is amiss. Something approaches in the fog. RUNNING! Around corners and uphill I collect what appear to be two humans and a child, all running until the alley ends in a brick wall. TRAPPED! In the ever thickening yellow fog the four of us braced as the footsteps advanced. A shadowy figure stepped from the parting fog to reveal a bipedal creature made of rags wielding an augmented barbers tool. Undaunted the noble knight stepped forth to do it harm as the fog engulfed him. The sounds of combat did not seem to favor the knight, sickly flesh tearing, bone splitting, gurgling sounds. Pool of blood rapidly advancing, blood sprayed along the grey bricks followed by the meaty thump of a head as it rolled from the fog breathing the word “ME”. As I surveyed the scene in terror my gaze fixed on the blood spattered wall. As the spray streamed down the wall….it formed “ME”. The fine hairs on my neck stood firm confirming the fear. To my amazement, more accurately shock, the child, or what I had taken as a child leapt at the creature who had stepped from the thinning fog. My reflex of action sent an arcanic bolt from my hand into the ragman as the fog once again enveloped the melee. Short and unpleasant were the sounds of the struggles as the scene was repeated. As the small head rolled from the fog it whispered “UP” and though I knew better, curiosity compelled me to check the blood sprayed wall again. I was less than comforted to see it flow into the word “UP”. I managed to finish the corpus aegis incantation prior to being enveloped in the fog and raised my snap ruby staff to block the advancing ragman…. BIZZLE-SNAP! The spine tingling feeling you get when compulsively witnessing someone else experience an unexpected excruciating physical pain ripped me from a state of deep and unusual slumber. Vision and mind fogged and blurry. The smell of old straw, mold and excreta motivated my limbs to stand. It was then a scream came from beyond the dungeon cell. “WAKE UP DAMMIT!” Shook to my bones I tried to focus on my surroundings. First I noticed I shared this cell with a familiar face, a small comfort, but still no specific recollection of his or my name. Then to the light source, a small candle illuminating a table covered with jagged sharp bits of junk, all of which bore traces if they were not covered in blood. Next the motion of a woman clad I a white bloodied coat…the kind the doctors wore…strolled about a table carrying what appeared to be one half of a pair of tree trimming shears. The blur of my vision completely gone I noticed in the dim light what was on the table…..GOOD GRAVY! The woman was attempting the old, death by a thousand cuts, on that poor HELPLESS soul! I froze in horror at the prospect of having to witness this event! Not that the cutting bothered me mind you, but the helpless nature of the victim! She sliced his leg in a nonchalant fashion as she moved about the table eliciting a soulful protest from her victim. Suddenly a face in a cell from the other side of the scene lit by the candle demanded the woman “LEAVE HIM ALONE!” The doctor’s verbal response was swift. The woman walked around her tabled victim when my comforting cell mate made an overture as well. That is when the woman doctor responded again only to further horrify me when her face changed to match my cell mates for a brief moment! That is when the man on the table kicked the “woman” from behind into our cell bars with a leg he had freed. My cellmate lunged to grab the “woman” and I tried to help but both were unsuccessful. The man kicked a second time knocking the “woman” into the wall forcefully which caused her to fall to the floor. “She” rose with a violence lashing out at her victim. That is when the child from my dream, who wasn’t a child at all, appeared at our cell door with a set of keys and unlocked the door. We three were free from our cells before the “woman” finished her gruesome task…thankfully she was thorough! I cannot abide those lingering on the threshold to the afterlife! My cell mate engaged the doctor with a random selection of sharp objects from the table; the key master ran to free the man across the way, while I pondered which of the instruments would best suit my future needs. I quickly chose the broken bottle and slashed as she made her way near me. My cell mate was wounded in the swirling melee. The human burst from his cell and threw himself at our captor. Outnumbered our resident torturer dropped its disguise presenting us with a nose-less, gangly, grey beast which promptly made haste for an exit. The others pursued. I took the candle and wished to see if other cells held prisoners as the chamber appeared bigger than our light source. That is when I happened upon a pile of equipment. Low and behold therein I found all of my possessions, minus the component pouch, DAMMIT! There was grumbling about the lighting conditions at the exit and some exertion so I turned to see what the fuss was about. I was met by the wee key master who franticly snatched the candle and ran for the exit. While they pushed and pulled at the door, I strapped and belted my equipment and stood at the ready. The door was pushed in, the wee burglar ran in with the light and a grisly fight ensued. That is when I found an unattended bag on the floor which contained…my spell component pouch! MAJESTIC!! The sounds of the fight resembled the butchery of my dream and I watched as the human succumbed first, like in the dream, then a squeal from the light bearer, and then it came back in the chamber for my cell mate and I! I had sent two bolts into the creature and readied a third when the creature lurched and fell dead…followed in quick order by our wee stab rabbit! I stepped away from the dying as my stomach wrenched from the close proximity to the mortally wounded. However the quick action of my cellmate brought them back from deaths door. I helped get them to comfort within the room. The cellmate and I spoke at some length where we found we had shared a common dream experience before waking here. I returned to the pile of equipment and realized the remaining equipment belonged to our slumbering wounded and it was dispersed. Among their belongings was a string instrument of exceptional quality…but no bow? On inspection I retrieved a small piece of parchment from its cavity with the name “Auseil” written upon it. I also found the boiler in this area had been used as a crematorium! Oh and that it was possible, but likely very difficult, to get out through the chimney if other avenues did not seem viable. There we rested until the wounded were ambulatory again. During my reverie I found myself pulled into the foggy alley again, though this time it seemed to be strewn with numerous shadowy figures, one of which came close enough to make out. A white haired man filled with a desperation near insanity. I called out to him and he spoke “We’re all lost here, never to escape! What have I done?” This had never happened to me before and was quite unsettling. Once all had eaten and been helped into their arms and equipment we looked to our escape. The promise of stairs leading out led to disappointment when we found them hopelessly blocked. Within the room was a large pile of “recently” deceased human bodies resting below a coal chute….non appealing! At the point where it was suggested we climb out over the bodies, I shared the existence of the chimney as a possible option. It was spelunked and found wanting, so over the dead pile we climbed. First our resident midget, then I, until all had gained the room above, a rather simple effort in climbing really. Much of our time here we could hear the sound of rain and thunder. I for one looked forward to the rain and the cleansing refreshment it promised. We entered the “courtyard” only to find the rain a scalding, painfully burning downpour! Quickly we chose an adjacent door and ran inside. There we found a long hall which was barricaded on one end. The barricade was quickly filled with human men at arms and a call to halt, which we did. They looked haggard and nervy. Their marshal accused us of dopplegangery to which we protested. He demanded proof by way of a trey of doppleganger heads. I was delighted that we could retrieve the head of the one masquerading as the doctor until he explained how they employed their skullduggery and disguise…and then my cellmate offered his assistance in its retrieval. That unnerved me! But not so much as the answer to a question posed to them about where we were! The answer came back “the Briarstone Asylum.” That locked my spine…anxiety welled up…and I don’t know why!?!? Something filled me with mistrust! I spoke to our knight saying “Don’t trust anyone who works in an asylum…EVER!! They LIE!!” It just came out…from wear I don’t know or remember. With more trepidation than before my cellmate and I returned to the dungeon rooms and retrieved the head of our first doppleganger and threw it to the men at arms…twitchy that bunch! So off we marched to earn our passage. The first room was a boiler room, which had shifty lights dancing about beneath yet more boilers….lots of em in this place! Suddenly large filthy rats lunged at us from the rubble in the room. I swung at one with my staff, missing. Then it sunk its nasty jagged teeth into my leg…MOTHER OF PEARL…but that hurt! With that I backed into the corner and sent a gout of flame fanning from my wide spread fingers, roasting the enormous beasts! The throbbing in my leg required a limp even with the assistance of my staff….PEELERS PECKERKNIFE, WOW THAT HUUURRRTS!!! I’ll probably contract some nasty leprous foul rotting infestation now, DAMMIT! Then group assembled back in the hall after collecting a few sundry bits and moved onto the next door, I limped along beside the knight. The stab rabbit opened the door and got stung by a wiggly centipede, a big one! The rabbit took an involuntary nap. I stood over him and cooked the interior of this linen closet which was met with stingage in my other leg….HOLY FIRE THAT BURNS!!! I loosed a second gout of flame with a staff call cooking those crawling bugs! That’s gonna swell…its gonna swell up…its gonna swell up hard as frostbit purple martin, turn black and fall off! MEDIC!!!!!! Can we take a break? I walk like a pirate with two peg legs, no really, can we take a minute and think about this please? Thankfully with the rabbit incoherent, the knight still reeling from the fight with the first doppleganger, and my new legless future it was agreed we should rest until we had sufficient health and mobility to try a foe with our equipment and vitality in full bloom. At which I drifted off into another fitful SLEEP! This time I dreamt that I was in the yellowy fogged ally and that wretched, frightful, ragman approached from the thick fog, seemingly surprised at my return. He cocked his head in disbelief and reached out for my face….and I woke in a sweat soaked state of panic. I don’t know what my cellmate puts on my wounds but I suspect it has a sleeping agent in it!
Group 1 manned and ready sir....Whats that? Right then....all you lads of group 1 listen up. The ole man in the moon just said we're all doomed so cinch up the belt on the big boy pants as it appears as though we have been volunteered to receive! Anyone else have a splitting headache? Any of you guys tired? I am dreadfully tired...right sleepy in fact...(yawn)...WAIT!? I am elf, I have no need of slee....(THUD!)...zzzzZZZ.
Moridins Shriveled pinky toe! It's the big Taldoran! Come Evan, let us make our acquaintance...Theodric is it? Is that what you answer to or are you more of a Ted or Teddy, Theo, Thed, Theed, Theawd...which is it? SPEAK UP MAN!..At any rate, well met indeed! Come to think of it, now that you say that...I'm out of sorts as well. I have no idea of where or when this is? I'll work on that, but first a bit of house keeping, our stature-challenged friend Evan here may have need of your swarthy brutish strength...say if he were to fill up his bag, could you assist? It barely holds more than a large belt pouch, more along the lines of a Ustalavian man purse really. Oh and watch yourself! Theres a lunatic about talking crazy, calls himself the Exigent Bear or some such. The white coats led him away. Have you seen the other...umm...whats his face...there is another...isn't there?
Who? What?...err... Yes!! That one...over there...take him away. Whew! No I'm fine, you white coats have all you can handle, now be off...Right!! Stab Rabbit aren't we supposed to have an escort? Where are they off to?
Additionally I find it quite amusing for someone whose name begins with an "X" has difficulty with the pronunciation of both of mine. But that has more to do with my pointed ears and almond shaped eyes now doesn't it? While you float about in limbo I would share, while only half manifest here, group 1 is fully manned. What I can't accomplish from afar our dutiful and handsome "Stab Rabbit" Evan will surely complete...WHY ARE YOU HERE?
How marvelously astute of you! Your powers of observation astound!I hope they serve you at least as well in grope 2, but thanks for your cooperation...DOLT! Oh and by the way, you sir resemble that of a carnival clown...correction creepy,under the bed,woods dwelling,creepy-CLOWN. Good day CLOWN!
Lets address stats again...
GOOD GRAVY, WHO ARE YOU!?! YOU KNOW….Most persons of any sense know never to just… come upon a body all willy-nilly acting as though we’ve met before. For all that calculate with lucid trinomials and forbearing quintile theorems, find it in your being to cough, or harrumph, break wind or verbalize in the low range so as not to startle….otherwise chance finding yourself the recipient of undesired wrath! Whew! Before you….barged into my solitude, I had nearly come to a manageable number. Now I must start recalculating. Lucky for you this has happened before and I do not have to start from the very beginning. Do you have any possible idea how difficult it is to estimate how many planes of existence there are…hmmm? DO YOU!?! No...I thought not! I mean first you must make certain considerations, such as…well… for instance the “ABYSS” is no infinite, never ending, conglomeration of discordant choasium. NO! Only complete idiots and round eyed humans gobble up a profoundly ignorant and stupid non-complexity such as that. I have come to the understanding that it is a solitary plane that was deviously and purposefully sabotaged by a wholly corrupt force into an implosive temporal existence, centrally flawed by an entropic singularity slowly and continuously feeding upon and recreating itself over eons….never thought of that DIDJA!?! NO!! I didn’t see YOU ciphering that out in your monkey brain either. NO, I suspect you haven’t studied for decades on anything have you? Color spray me surprised! I mean, who are you to come here and question me about WHO I AM, or WHAT I KNOW? I’ll have you know I apprenticed with renowned scholarly specialists before focusing in the art of evocation. DOLT! Well that is until I met Halcyon Breakwater. That wicked half elf introduced me to the dark art, the one that will shrivel your bits into currants. He also introduced me to…JUST WHO THE HELL ARE YOU!?? Do you have any credentials at all or are you more of a pedigree type? Why am I talking to you? Oh fancy this…I once quantified the requirement for the matriculation of lubricatious causation in the circumference of a summoning circle for the druids of bramble spire henge. It was MAJESTIC! It was nearly as enjoyable as counting the planetary rings of the third celestial body with Elandrilisa. Though to be honest I was distracted by her beautifully curved...err…I have grown quite tiresome of your company, do speak your business with me with haste or I shall be required to call the guard. Where is my staff? WHERE IS IT!? Do you see it? DO YOU HAVE IT? YOU SIR ARE A DISTRACTION AND AN ANNOYANCE, NOW HELP ME FIND IT! It is as fine a piece of snap-ruby ash as you will find, rich color, fine grain, and capped with a red electrum knob. Ahh, here it is…now GO! I must prepare for a party… dinner awaits…did you bring the cake? I had an instructor whose cat liked to rub his butt in the icing. I HATED THAT CAT! You’re not a cat are you?!? Don’t tell him I said that! But if you talk to him tell him Thinculous Arclight sends his regards and salad spoons. Thinculous Arclight
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