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Obituaries
"Our paper is sad to report the death of Oogla the Barbarian, famed far and wide for his tremendous strength.
Oogla reportedly went for a walk on the woods and lay down on a flat boulder beneath a walnut tree to take a nap.
While he slept, an ordinary spider attached a web to both him and the boulder.
Lacking any spell casting ability, Oogla was, of course, unable to break the web and eventually starved to death.
Compounding the tragedy is the fact that the many fallen walnuts around the boulder would likely have sustained him until he was discovered — if only he had possessed the spells needed to break open the walnut shells."