Smelldox the Mighty NPC's page

When the party gets back to camp, Brathas will be talking just loudly enough to be overheard by Smelldox, saying "Well, the good news is that the Priests will soon be taking care of our goblin problem". He'll offer Smelldox the most burned rat to eat, and deny having said anything of the sort.

"What? Priests are paying ransom for me?" says Smelldox, puzzled. "About time! Goblin King Hargpthuu must be very mad that I have been gone so long and demand my return! Told you it is good to let me live! Much rewards for you!"

When Brathas denies having said anything, Smelldox is even more confused. "What? But you said... what kind of game you playing? Oh, rat. Good, yes. Gimme lots of rat! Why you cut the heads off? That is best part!"

What do you know of this Smelldox? Have you seen others like this?

When Smelldox sees the man, he giggles.

"Oh, yah, all humans around here are barking mad crazy. Maybe he thinks he's a dog! Makes it easier to take their gold though. Oh, um, can I have more food?"

Noticing the goblin looking at the food, he offers a half portion....maybe a full portion for a goblin sized captive....

In goblin
"Want to eat?"

The goblin, though gagged, nods. When the gag is removed, he digs into the food that is offered like a ravenous animal. When done, he looks up at Talikshim.

"Is that it? I'm starved! Very bad things happen if a wizard is starving! He goes crazy and turns into a giant crocodile! Then he eats- mmmph!"

Ferrous shuts up the goblin with the gag.

Ferrous laughs as the goblin keeps referring to himself as a mighty wizard and replies Aye the Mighty and I be Ferrous the Flatulent.

Laughing but not getting the joke, the goblin responds, "Greetings Ferrous the Flatulent! I am Smelldox the Mighty! Great friend to dwarves and other weird surface races."

Any one bring rope or manacles something to tie him up? If he can get us through traps he lives as soon as he leads us into a trap... He dies.

Smelldox is clearly unsettled by the idea of being restrained. "No need to tie me; then I cannot use my magic to protect you! Very bad to tie hands of wizard. And I never lead you into trap. I protect you from them, I promise!"

"I do not believe you have such learning..."

Smelldox crosses his arms, insulted. "Hmph. Ask her," he says, pointing at Anastoria. "I used eye blinding power on her! Heh heh."

He then looks at Ana guiltily. "But I didn't mean it that way. You were attacking my friends... I didn't realize what nice people you were at the time! And they weren't my friends really, I would never want revenge for those ones. They were not very nice goblins, actually. Good that they are dead."

"First what is your name?....I am called Taklishim the grey man by my people. "

Smelldox smiles. "Hello, Taklishim the grey man by my people! It is good to meet you and be your friend. We will speak of much magic together! Though..." Smelldox looks Talikshim up and down, noting his primitive dress. "... I might have to teach you to read first. Need to be able to read and write for magic."

The dwarf calls out to the shaman before spitting on the ground again.

"No, no, I am not Hargpthuu! Hargpthuu is king of... oh wait, you were just spitting."

"This one is smarter than many of his peoples, but I know not if that bodes ill or well for us....why wise goblin should we let you live?.....and why should we kill you?"

The goblin holds up his hands in supplication. "Why should you kill me? No, no, no reason at all! No reason to kill peaceful, helpful, harmless good goblin wizard!"

"It is good to let me live!" The goblin begins gesticulating wildly. "Yes, many rewards from King Harpthuu! Maybe even let you join goblin tribe! Perhaps I can teach you spell of eye-blinding power! Not today, tomorrow maybe can teach... but also many traps of death in the pyramid! I am only one who knows how to get past them... like rolling ball of death! Very scary! You never survive without help from me, Smelldox, mighty wizard! My magic will protect you! Also, terrible curses happen if Smelldox dies. Very bad. Not my fault though! Can't help it... because of my magic! No, no, good to let Smelldox live."

"Let me take you to King Hargpthuu now! We should not wait... he has afternoon nap soon. Not good to wake him in afternoon nap. No, no, very bad." He nods gravely, then points to the door again.

The Goblin Wizard rubbernecks as multiple people start talking. He begins to sweat profusely.

"...killing him would reduce any leverage we may have if there is such as creature as King Hargpthuu."

"Yes, of course there is King Hargpthuu! And if you like I will tell him you rescued me from scary monsters! He will give you great reward!"

"...I suggest you speak what you know of the environs around here..."

The goblin shrugs. "Most of this pyramid is empty, just creatures wandering around and trying to eat things. Have to be careful when looking in rooms. Crazy humans built it long time ago - there's a few crazy humans left wandering around, especially down below. Their high priest is friend of King Hargpthuu, and gives King Hargpthuu many gifts for his friendship."

"I told you forest one, your ways are known to my people, a feast of our honor and our selves, murderous are your ways."

The goblin blinks a few times. "What?" he responds, intelligently.

"It is hiding something," Ana says, almost casually. "There is something else magical on its person."

The goblin yells and throws his hat on the ground. "Aaaarghhh! You will strip me of all my hard earned treasures!" The goblin pulls out two more of the sparkly pebbles from a pouch and throws them on the floor. "Magic stones take forever to make! Need gargoyle blood and spectral snake venom... very hard!"

1d3 ⇒ 21d20 ⇒ 81d20 ⇒ 11

Stupid Gobby trying to lie to us.

"No, no, no lies!" the goblin blurts nervously. "I am very honest! Most honest goblin there is!" The goblin gives you a big grin, and stoops down to retrieve his hat.

And just how many levels down is this so-called King Hargpthuu? Lie again and yer dead.

"Three. Easy to find, just go straight down," the goblin nods.

In goblin....

"Do not try anything nasty liar man, I know your peoples ways."

The goblin goggles at a human speaking his own language.

"Oh, no, I never do anything nasty! I am good very good and want peace for everyone! No lies - wizards never lie!"

Green thing you know a source of water around here? Really it's the only way I can see you live

The goblin smiles nervously.

"Oh, yes, mighty dwarf! In the temple of King Hargpthuu there are fountains with clean water pouring out. It is several levels down. King Hargpthuu is generous to his friends! Perhaps I can arrange an audience? You will have no need to eat me if King Hargpthuu is your friend - as he surely will be if I put in a good word for you. He will throw a great feast for you! You will see! Let me take you there now!"

The goblin points to the door currently blocked by Fistep.

Montague and Ana look on, surprised by the presence of the Goblin.

The goblin leerily casts aside his dagger and the shiny stone. He edges into the corner away from Ferrous.

"There's my stuff! But I not lie down! Everyone knows that dwarves chop goblin heads off that way!"

He looks angrily at the group (aside from Ferrous, with whom he avoids eye contact).

"If you hurt me my tribe will be very angry! King Hargpthuu is the king of all around and he will take revenge on you if you harm his mighty wizard!"

Dice: 2d6 ⇒ (2, 5) = 7

Anastoria isn't quite sure where but thinks that the goblin has more magic on his person.

Upon hearing the dwarven shouts from the next room, the goblin wizard looks at Fistep, who is blocking the door.

"Step aside, and I will give you this magic stone!"

He produces a sparkling pebble not unlike the ones found on two of the dead goblins.

"It has great power. Make you immune to fear and sickness and other bad things. Give you good luck instead." He smiles nervously.

"Gaaahhh!" The shout rings out from under the bed as a green-skinned figure becomes visible. It scabbers frantically at the floor and emerges from the end of the bed. It is the Goblin in the hat; presumably he has been hiding under the bed for hours.

"Stay Back!" He shouts, making a strange gesture towards you. "I am a powerful wizard! Any who lay hands on me will be cursed!"

The goblin begins edging his way towards the door to the west.