Schmendrick's page

I'm the Valeros player Macklin was punishing during the delve. Allow me to reiterate events as I recall them:

A friend and I noticed a sign above a table, it read THE DELVE. There was a charming and bright eyed GM running short games, everyone was having fun, even laughing.

We waited patiently for our turn, then sat down- eager to have a wonderful time like the four people before us had. The GM welcomed us before checking his wrist-watch. "Oh- I'm done guys, someone else will have to run you through this. Good luck!"

A shadow crept across the table. We all looked up and seen a new GM had joined the event. His name tag read Ryan.

Early in combat, my friend rolled a 1 on attack. Ryan pilfered my friends d20 and said "you can have this back when you deserve to roll it." Then he turned my friend into a goblin, and said "now talk like a goblin for the rest of the encounter" Then he turned me into a ghoul.

I asked "Do I have to talk like a ghoul?" Ryan said "yes" I replied "But I don't know how to talk like Ryan Macklin!" About now Ryan rips the corner off of my character sheet and hands it to me, growling "Thats how much of a character you get to play now!" After another round of punishment the ghoulish GM advised me to eat the remnants of my sheet. I obliged, half-heartedly, barely putting the paper in my mouth. I didn't expect Macklin to fangoriously devour the larger portion of the sheet which he still held.

I have told this story about 6 times in the past week. See my memento here.

In "A History of Ashes", the PC's must be eaten by Cindermaw, a giant purple worm. They are all vying for his attention, wanting to be the hero who goes in and comes back out alive. The worm chooses our paladin who says, "I don't know if I wanna kill you or come inside you."

The problem I have is that that can be a bit, well big and like rolling for weather time consuming. I would really love to have a program that I can punch it all into so that I can just hit a "roll encounter" button and have it spit out which one we are running rather then me needing to do 4+ rolls to get an encounter.

Do you have a copy of MS Access? If you're using spreadsheets, you could make the small jump to ms Access and gain all that dynamic power you need.

I'm honestly confused that there are people who don't play with the magic item availability that Pathfinder suggests.

It can be really fun to simply have less magic items. As for the host of issues we'll encounter, that argument goes both ways. Haven't we all seen a game be less fun when the players are overloaded? I think every group's going to play it a little differently.