As the father so the son! Also, the toothpick dispenser just won an all expenses paid 1 week trip to Alyushinnarra, 3 scrolls of death ward and 3 scrolls of restoration included, anyone who f*@%s with him, non-consensually, gets a date with my vorpal suplex!
Ahahaha, that wont even cost 2% of the money I made with betting on the mortals!
Shouts booming voice out of Eriths Echo.
Suddenly, a incredibly attractive (even for a Succubus), regal looking, Succubus appears in front of Thip, holding a wand of Clarion Call in front of him.
Congratulations Sir Toothpick Slaughter! You have just made me even richer then I already was, and cost 3 demon lords a lot of money, but dont worry, Lady Nocticula also ran a sizeable profit betting on the mortal murder hoboes so you will likely be fine! How do you feel about this? And what is your actual name? Literally millions of watching Demons want to know! Where you aiming for Mr. Boneys arse on purpose? Because I could have sworn that all your final arrows hit just that spot!
Without waiting for his answer, she lets the wand telekinetically levitate in front of him, and suddenly teleports in front of Anorak.
That was a creative use of earth to mud! I for one will be rearranging some of my own doomsday devices! Also, I think I was dating your current mental co-host but I may misremember. What inspired you to this hilarious idea?
As another wand of Clarion Call telekinetically hovers in front of Anorak, she appears before Eliora.
Well Lady Paladin, while you may believe your contribution to have been limited, do not forget that you stopped the Lich from Yoinking Sir Toothpick slaughter and killing everyone, so great job! If you could undo one of your actions, which would it be?
Another wand of clarion call flies before Eliora as the Succubus reappears before Mikaela
Do you know that, technically speaking, we are now married on account of Lady Erith being one of my consorts? I look forward to deepening our acquaintance, I always had a soft spots for competent support characters, so you as well get the same deal that Sir Toothpick Slaughter got, although whoever messess with you gets a date with my 10-finger-of-death-special spell! Oh, and you must tell me more about the state of Neo-Las-Vegas, it sounds just like my type of place!
Finally, she appears before Erith, blows her a kiss, which for some reason fully heals her, opens a portal to the Abyss behind Erith and spartakicks a flabbergasted Erith through it. Saying Time for some more enjoyable psychic damage! before moving through it herself.
My "Vessel" is still there, she is too hot for your fireballs! Clever of you to cover her hotness, and your brittleness with that ugly spell though. You didnt expect it to affect me did you? That reminds of that pathetic farce when your dead tried to hit me with a fireball. The things I did in return ahahaha Erith, focus, think of the last time you took psychic damage, think of how you will take such pleaseant damage again, all you need to do is win! Speaks a telepathic, melodic and concerned sounding voice to Erith.
Well Vivi, you once said that when I fall, you will be there to catch me? Serious Succubus Promise yes? Oh, Ohhhhhhhhhhh The voice answers to her as she lays out her plan.
OH WAIT BONEFACE! I REMEMBER! DIDNT YOU USE TO BE THE BRAT OF WHATSHISNAME? YOU KNOW, STUPID BOTTOM FEEDING ORKUS WORSHIPPING BALOR WHO GENOROUSLY DONATED HIS LUNCH MONEY TO ME IN BALOR HIGH SCHOOL? I MEAN, I GET WHY YOU BECAME A LICH AND STOPPED BEING A HALF BALOR! I WOULD BE ASHAMED OF THAT HERITAGE AS WELL!
Shouts Eriths Echo.
F*!~ me I am going to get super nuked. Says Erith.
SEE? Shouts the booming voice out of Eriths Echo, pointing at Eliora's nicely toned bicps.
ARMS THAT LIFT GOOD. the echo now makes a rubber arm movement then points at the Lich.
NOODLE ARMS BAD! Yesss, please stay in my echo not in my own head! Thinks Erith.
THAT BONEY FOOL! HE RECOGNICED MY SPECIES BUT NOT WHO I AM? HOW DARE YOU! MY ABYSSCAST HAS 4 MILLION FOLLOWERS! Shouts the booming voice.
It still much less then my recent series of naughty films with Lady Shamira. Speaks the melodic one.
I dont think the Lich is all that concerned with either porn or mixed martial arts videos. Says Erith
YOU ARE RIGHT ERITH
In a thing that should not, technically speaking, happen, the echo opens her mouth and shouts:
BRO DO YOU EVEN LIFT? at the Lich
I hope Eliora doesnt take any sonic damage from that.
Thinks Erith.
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! WILL THE DOMINATED TOOTHPICK DISPENSER ONE TURN THE MAGE? WILL THE LICH GET A COCK EQUIVALENT DUE TO ANALLY INSERTED GREATSWORD? WILL THE BRIDGE HOLD? FIND OUT SOON! Shouts the booming voice out of Erith
Cock-equivalent from annaly inserted Greatsword? Can you make jokes that arent dick jokes? Says the melodic voice
I am joking about things that arent there! This is metaphysical for me! Answers the booming voice.
At this point Says Erith I am pretty sure your prattling annoys Mr. Boney-but-doesnt-have-a-Boner more then more then it does me, so go ahead with whatever. She finishes.
Paladins... spoke the melodic voice out of Erith.
Always the bane of a novice dominators existience. Did you know that the odds of them just noping your well thought of domination get massively reduced if you dont make the domination completely obvious? Or if you like, throw the Paladin in a mind maze and then dominate their party members? Just from an actual expert in mind magic to a clear novice.
Vivi, dont give Mr. "Does not have a boner" hints!Said Erith Exasperated.
I CANT HEAR YOU CLOWNS OVER THE SOUND OF THE POPCORN I AM MUNCHING WHILE ERITH-CHAN APPLIES THE GREATSWORD! ALSO, AHAHAHAHA THIS SHAGAMBI THING IS PRETTY FUN, IT TICKLES! Shouted a booming voice out of Erith.
That Atropal has no idea whatsorever how to use tentacles! Its only hitting with its lame-ass Auras and its wailing! Bleh, I was promised Tentacles! Announces the booming voice.
If that Paladin keeps going at it, there will soon be deep fried tentacles if that is what you want, perhaps not quite the hot tentacle action you were looking for but. answers the melodic one.
I get it, lets stop with the innuendo for about 10 seconds and actually comment! In terms of damage, it looks relatively well for the heroes, although your little Dhampir favorite is already down to 2/3rds of her hp. She is definitly dishing out more then she takes though! As does the toothpick dispenser in the backlines! Haha, the stupid Atropal cant teleport I guess, weakling! Comments the loud voice
I agree, the super late term abortion currently does 10ish guaranteed damage, which means that the group has to win this relatively quickly! Several group members have the means to heal up somewhat, but I wonder if this will be sufficient. states the melodic one
And here comes the good guy! I love interviewing Paladins! shouts a booming voice that is definitly not Eriths out of Erith
Thats because you get loot out of it twerp
shouts a melodic voice, that also sounds like 20+ charisma and definitly isnt Erith either, out of Erith.
As opposed to you, who is getting what? Henchmen? Husbandos? Temporary amusement? Asks the booming voice
Compatriots, friends, in some cases even Consorts? Look, if I had a "SMESH FIRST ASK QUESTIONS LATER" policy we couldnt be using this mortals eyes to livestream the entire bossfight. Answers the melodic voice.
VILE FIENDS! RIGHTEOUS SHAGAMBI WILL SMESH YOU! shouts a voice that sounds like Shagambi the trickster god.
F%$& me, I am so going to take out my migraine on that effing late term abortion in progress. Thinks Erith
Dont mind me, just a totally unsuspicious dot. Fight commentator reporting for duty.
internal trialouge:
Erith hears a deep sonorous voice within her.
Hej, Vivi, how does this whole profane gift vision work? I just feel small and I dont see anything. She is an echo knight you dork, you have to use her vision, not her echos. Asnwered the friendly melodic voice from before.
Ah, I see! Hah, Mortal sure look big from a mortal perspective! Spoke the deep sonorous voice.
What an unusually perceptive comment. said the melodic one.
Ehhm Guys/Girls when did I sign up to have my brain be a mental thoroughfare? Also, I am kind of trying to focus on defeating the probably worldthreatening abomination behind that door? Vivi, didnt you bet a metric ton of money on me prevailing? Erith interjected.
You see little one, the vast open spaces in your brain are second to few, and you are also tough and/or insane enough to not freak out completely.
Honestly, you are handling the distraction well, the last person I spoke to like that tried to Eat a Holy Hand grenade, it didnt work. Spoke the deep voice
What is a holy hand grenade, it sounds useful! Does it taste like Pomegrenade perhaps? Can I have one? Joking aside, having a Balor and a high ranking Succubus interested in my antics is kind of like professional recognition? Erith stated as she focused on the task ahead.
There was some archeological evidence that the more maritime Germanics living at various estuaries had somewhat elevated levels of civilizations, compared to their peers inside of Germania proper.
The number of memorial stones, graves etc. is certainly a lot higher there, indicating both riches and the capability to keep them.
Tactitus stated that the "Ruugi" were more organized, fought with shields,short swords and in an organized fashion and further had elected kings whom they followed.
Of course, Tacitus is very much not 300BC, and his "Germania" is an ehhmmm, debatable source for a number of reasons.
I dont actually think that divisions between "Barbarians" and "civilized" were as cut and dry. Athen employed Scythians for police work, and while you would need a patron to settle as a "guest" in a greek Polis, it was not unheard off.
300BC? Actually, basically nobody other then Amber merchants would know of be very familar with Germanics. Alps at that time should be solidly Keltish. There was some Amber trade using the Danube, but for most "greeks/romans/punics" A Germanics would be kelt like people who dont speak Keltish, but are otherwise pretty similar to them.
Adjusted for campaign trait, switching "extremely fashionable" for "merchant" and adjusting the bonus skills from fey touched (diplomacy and stealth to bluff and stealth) so it comes out the same.
I still have all 3 offensive face skills (diplo, bluff, intimidate), Stealth, some knowledge (Arcana, spellcraft), some "climb/swim/acroabtics/stealth" and handle animal because its a 6 for 1 skill point.
Swapped equipment around too, grabbing some wooden armor for ship duties, seems a reasonable investment at 20 gold.
I can still make adjustments, I am pretty certain that a semi stealthy beatstick is really reassuring to have around for the actual scout :).
Source of narrative drama and plot hooks she will jump at:
1: Her Abyssal taint, when Bloodraging is fairly noticable, people do not grow claws, change their eye color to pitch black and, at level 4, spontaneously enlarge, she also grows vampire-like fangs, although not enough to actually do bite attacks with. Her body temperature massively increases as well.
She does not grow pincers, or becomes directly malformed, which likely implies a Succubus, Incubus or Lilitu ancestor somewhere in her bloodline.
Said ancestor may at some point take note of her, and well, looking like she does while Bloodraging will likely have diplomatic consequences.
2: She is incredibly curious, including about magic she should not be curious about.
3: Her main deity Snotra and Loki have a cold prank war with each other. Agents of Loki, who may nominally follow other trickster gods who either are also Loki or Loki is them, would receive blessings for making things difficult for her. It should be noted that this cold prank war is typically not done to the death.
4: Hints about her demonic ancestor (greater teleport, so nothing would stop she/her from dicking around with whoever lives where we turn up after having done typical demon things in Germania) will be a strong plot hook.
As well as a narrative scene from leaving her homeland
Leaving Rügen:
What a day to be alive. Svanhild said to herself as the ceremony proceeded. Her, and the rest of the crew were receiving their blessings.
Þann gel ek þér fyrstan
- þann kveða fjölnýtan
Þann gól Rindi Rani, -
At þú of öxl skjótir
Því er þér atalt þykkir;
Sjalfr leið þú sjalfan þik
Yes, mistakes we shall definitly make
She thought as she and the rest of the crew recited
Fjón þvæ ég af mér fjanda minna rán og reiði ríkra manna.
"I wash off the hatred of my foes, and the wroth of rich men." Well, they should be less rich after getting their things looted by us. Svanhild thought at the second stanza.
Þann gel ek þér annan
Ef þú árna skalt
Viljalauss á vegum
Urðar lokur
Haldi þér öllum megum
Er þú á sinnum sér
"Then next I will chant thee,
If needs thou must travel,
And wander a purposeless way:
The bolts of Urth
Shall on every side
Be thy guards on the road thou goest."
Yes, getting lost would be pretty bad indeed. May aswell improve my
Atlantean by translating along.
Þann gel ek þér inn þriðja
Ef þér þjóðáar
Falla at fjörlotum
Horn ok Ruðr
Snúisk til heljar meðan
En þverri æ fyr þér
Then third I will chant thee,
If threatening streams
The danger of death shall bring:
Yet to Hel shall turn
Both Horn and Ruth,
And before thee the waters shall fail.
Rumors told there was this wizard in distant Egyptus who could do the "the waters fall" trick with seas, would be handy to do this. Moesus or something like that?
Þann gel ek þér inn fjórða
Ef þik fjándr standa
Görvir á galgvegi
Hugr þeim hverfi
Til handa þér
Ok snúisk þeim til sátta sefi
Then fourth I will chant thee,
If come thy foes
On the gallows-way against thee:
Into thine hands
Shall their hearts be given,
And peace shall the warriors wish
Cant go wrong with that! And yes, this one also blesses seduction! Hard to pull off in actual battle, but a girl can hope!
Þann gel ek þér inn fimmta
Ef þér fjöturr verðr
Borinn at boglimum
Leysigaldr læt ek
Þér fyr legg of kveðinn
Ok stökkr þá láss af limum
En af fótum fjöturr
Then fifth I will chant thee,
If fetters perchance
Shall bind thy bending limbs:
O'er thy thighs do I chant
A loosening-charm,
And the lock is burst from the limbs,
And the fetters fall from the feet.
To be frank I would prefer not getting captured in the first place.
Þann gel ek þér inn sétta
Ef þú á sjó kemr
Meira en menn viti
Logn ok lögr
Gangi þér í lúðr saman
Ok léi þér æ friðdrjúgrar farar
Then sixth I will chant thee,
If storms on the sea
Have might unknown to man:
Yet never shall wind
Or wave do harm,
And calm is the course of thy boat.
Yes, please, neither drowning nor tentacles, oh cunning snotra deliver me from these in particular.
Þann gel ek þér inn sjaunda
Ef þik sækja kemr
Frost á fjalli háu
Hræva kulði
Megi-t þínu holdi fara
Ok haldisk æ lík at liðum
Then seventh I chant thee,
If frost shall seek
To kill thee on lofty crags:
The fatal cold
Shall not grip thy flesh,
And whole thy body shall be.
Atlantis is probably pretty warm given how their explorers were dressed
Þann gel ek þér inn átta
Ef þik úti nemr
Nótt á niflvegi
At því firr megi
Þér til meins gera
Kristin dauð kona
Then eighth will I chant thee,
If ever by night
Thou shalt wander on murky ways:
Yet never the curse
of the Kristin-woman
From the dead shall do thee harm.
Yes, that Banshee Kristin has indeed brought low many.
Took some liberty with the translation, it actually comes out as "protect me from the death curses of christian women from beyond the grave, was apparently a concern on par with meeting warlike Giants in the woods in 500-600AD when this was recorded" Makes no sense to seek protection from the curses of Christan women beyond the grave in 300BC though, so its just a banshee
Þann gel ek þér inn níunda
Ef þú við inn naddgöfga
Orðum skiptir jötun
Máls ok mannvits
Sé þér á minni ok hjarta
Gnóga of gefit
Then ninth will I chant thee,
If needs thou must strive
With a warlike giant in words:
Thy heart good store
Of wit shall have,
And thy mouth of words full wise.
Yeah, talking is better then fighting and I think Lady Snotra got me covered there!
Of to Atlantis the fleet went as the last chant was concluded!
some minor questions:
--Do we roll for hp, take 2/3rds?
--I went off a limp and assumed that we speak whereever we came from. We are likely to be a merry band of misfits from across the world, do we all speak Atlantean innately or does this take a language slot?
I have 3 additional language slots (int 14, 1 level in linguistics) in this case, probably going to fill them with somewhat mythical languages like Giant (reasonable because she literally hugged and drank with one), Fae (she is fae-touched) or Abyssal (Abyssal bloodrager, know thyself), I would of course expect that a native american giant does not exactly speak in the same tounge as a Jotun would :).
She has 30 GP and 14 weight left, will certainly adjust here if neccessary.
