Xill

Nerdrage Ooze's page

75 posts. Alias of Gorbacz.


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I'm very curious how will you make a way to address the wildly different ideas the remaining PF1 community has about "what it takes to fix Pathfinder".


Did Paizo ever spell out at what point does one cease being "children, pre-adult, juvenile or immature"? 18? 21? 15? 16? The legal age in a given area, meaning that the ability could work differently in Cheliax and Osirion? First menstruation? Loss of virginity? Rite of passage? Visit from Uncle Fred?

Sadly, the rules once again lack precision and clarity. The designers have abdicated their responsibility to shield players from power-mad Mister Caverns exercising their supposed "rights" to use rule 0 to arbitrarily walk over somebody's justified request to be able to smell a 19-year-old. I hope for a speedy errata and official apology, otherwise, I can't see this company going on for much longer.


4 people marked this as a favorite.

THERE ARE ONLY TWO EDITIONS: THE ONE THAT SAVED 3.5 AND MADE IT THRIVE AND THE ONE WHO BETRAYED EVERYTHING THAT WAS BEAUTIFUL, BROKE ALL THE PROMISES AND KICKED MY PUPPYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!111111!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


3 people marked this as a favorite.

The thing I really miss is Sacred Geometry, it was such a fun feat and coupled with Dazing Spell it actually made my Wizard get somewhere close to usefulness of a Rogue with their dozens of skills and sneak attack dice or a Monk who didn't even have to spend their money on armour or weapons because magic hands.


17 people marked this as a favorite.

When will FAQ and errata for t-shirts be available?

When will you release playtest of underwear?

Will we get PDFs of clothes?

Are these for PF1 or PF2?

Can we have landscape-oriented t-shirts?


6 people marked this as a favorite.

Don't get me started on 2000. They took an ideal gaming system and turned it into a dumbed down casual thing for video game kids with short attention spans. Selecting "feats" and assigning "skill ranks"? That's something out of Final Fantasy. Base Attack Bonus? Well if you can't handle THAC0 kid, your parents should have a word with your math teacher. Crafting magic items? Hah, congrats, you teenagers wrote so many letters to TSR complaining that your Dungeons Master doesn't hand you out candy that it worked.

Sadly, millions of true gamers were abandoned and betrayed by this. Luckily I had enough AD&D to last me a lifetime and I could just sit back and watch as this whole edition change thing blew up in publisher's face and they came back crawling to producing AD&D few years laters.


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CAN WE GO BACK TO STONE TABLETS? THIS WHOLE PAPYRUS THING YOU PEOPLE AT PAIZO MADE UP FOR NO REASON GIVES ME HEADACHE.


1 person marked this as a favorite.

Oh no, another thing which Mister Caverns will use to restrict and limit god-given rights to CharOp. Horrible! DON'T TREAD ON ME! FREEDOM DIES LAST! ATTICA, ATTICA!


3 people marked this as a favorite.

Restrictions. Anathemas. We can't have those, they will be used by power-crazy Mister Caverns do punish and pull us True Gamers down. Why oh why can't we just have Artificial Intelligences controlling the opponents and the environments instead of those oppressive, antagonistic flesh-things who run games only to control, punish and limit under the flimsy pretences of "telling a story" and "making it fun for everyone"?

IT'S NOT FUN FOR EVERYONE IF I CAN'T DO EVERYTHING I WANT!!!!!!


2 people marked this as a favorite.

TENTAKLE HENTAIIIIIIZZZ


1 person marked this as a favorite.

I LIKE ROBOTZ PEW PEW


1 person marked this as a favorite.

THE END IS COMING!


*wraps himself in Confederate flag, graps a shotgun in one hand and a Bible in the other one*

"You'll have to pry the freedom of speech from my cold, dead hands, commie scum!"


FIRST AMENDMENT! STOP TREADING ON ME, COMMIE HIPPOS!


13 people marked this as a favorite.

BRING BACK USE ROPE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


7 people marked this as a favorite.

FAILZO FAILS AT DEASIGNANGING MARTIALS AGAIN

OH WAIT NO, ARGUMENT RECALIBRATION:

FAILIZO KCICKS ROUGE DOWN AGAIN

FIRE SEAN K REYNOLDS NOW!


4 people marked this as a favorite.

The alignment restriction of Paladin is an example of arbitrary limit on player options, of inviting Mister Cavern to be a douche, paying homage to outdated 'traditions' of the genre, curbing essential civil liberties and generally I'd love to travel back in time and make sure whoever came up with the idea was never born in the first place.


Excaliburproxy wrote:
Sensitive ROLEplayer wrote:
I'd like a proper roleplaying game back like we had in the Gygax days, not this anime math nonsense!
This is the worst idea. There are easily 8 printing retroclones at any given time. Pathfinder should not be a retroclone.

So true. Throwbacks to the XX century should rest in peace. They could never optimize their way out of the shopping bag anyway. Give me a game where I can destroy human lives by posting builds on forums that display my absolute powergaming superiority over other sentient beings.


PEW PEW INVISIBUL LAZOR BEAMZZZZZ!!!!


What's wrong with making grown men cry?


6 people marked this as a favorite.

FIRST AMENDMENT! ALAMO! ALAMO! DON'T TREAD ON ME, COMMIES!


1 person marked this as a favorite.

FIRST AMENDMENT! COMMIE OPPRESSORS! LIVE FREE OR DIE HARD!


NUMERIA AP OR WE'LL START A "ON LOCKING OF THREADS" THREAD!!!!! ;-P


1 person marked this as a favorite.

+1

Also, when u finally nerf Monk? Way broken class...


But but but I was watching some anime last night and the badass ninja was jumping between his enemies with no problem at all and why that's not in Pathfinder!!!!!1one11eleven

And and and when he swung his swords the enemies exploded and then he shouted HIYAAAA and a demon meteor fell from the sky and kill all bad guys and lol he was like level 4 cuz that was episode 5 of the series and whai dat not in game?


10 people marked this as a favorite.

Except for Cavalier (which isn't poor design, but just a bit ... meh) all the APG classes are neat and fill much needed niches (divine skill monkey? arcane-divine caster that doesn't require the pains of Mystic Theurge? Alchemist trope? Spontaneous divine caster? Pokemon trainer?).


3 people marked this as a favorite.

This job name is a blatant proof that Paizo hates martial classes!


GOOD BOOK!


WRITE YOUR REVIEEEEEEEEWSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!1111!!!!


1 person marked this as a favorite.

If you can't do 80 damage per round at level 3, you should honestly ask your parents: "What for did you bring me to this world?".


ME WANTS PAWNS!


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Matthew Morris wrote:

Wow, I think my (now third level) sorcerer in PFS would make some people cry.


  • No wand of CLW, 4 potions of healing instead
  • Darkwood masterwork club.
  • +1 Hakiri-maki
  • sleep, snapdragon fireworks in his spell list.
  • Lowest stat is an 11 wisdom, highest stat is his 17 int.

But he's fun.

TYPICAL PAIZO CUSTOMER, POLLUTING THE GENE POOL OF OUR SPECIES!


Brox RedGloves wrote:

Seriously...

How does a person shoe-horn and jack-hammer a backstory into mess?

That's something only those sissy roleplayers do! We, True Optimizers, shall stop at nothing to reach our goal!


2 people marked this as a favorite.

Every designer is inferior to me. Why? Because I said so.


ELVES R PANSIES, OK? TRU DWARVES 4EVA BLUUURGHHHHHZZZLLLE


SKR TOLD ME I'M A WHINEY ENTITLED TROUBLEMAKER, PLEASE FIRE HIM NOW OR I WILL HOLD MY BREATH REAL LONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Mr. Reynolds, did you sleep with my sister last night? Answer now please.


Fighters. They dominate Wizards and other caster classes.


1 person marked this as a favorite.
James Sutter wrote:
Thanks, everyone! And don't worry--the fact that this book coincided with John Carter was a nice bonus, but this book was conceived long before any of us knew that movie was in the works. :) More products about Golarion's solar system will depend entirely on fan demand...

GIEEEEEEEEEEEVV MOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


2 people marked this as a favorite.

MOAR SUTTUH!!!


But but but but but *insert random names here* all wrote lengthy forum posts about how 3.5 is a simulation of reality! How can you discount their collective wisdom! One of the even has a credit in a gaming book!


1. Remove Fighters, they're OP.
2. Have Rogues do one sneak attack per round MAX.


1 person marked this as a favorite.

There's any disparity?


kyrt-ryder wrote:
So you don't hate the Summoner. Good to know :)

FIXEDDDDDDD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


I mean, SERIOUSLY.

I HATE dwarves. They are a silly race of drunken idiots who would never go out of their alcoholic stupor to achieve anything IRL.

I HATE elves. They are band of effete pony lovers who can't get their balls straight, you know why? NO BALLS.

I HATE humans. Just look at them. Ridiculous. How can they even walk straight?

I HATE halflings. Look, seriously, Tolkien should have just sued your socks off for knocking off his work.

I HATE gnomes. Get your stupid anime out of my pristine, cherished pseudo-medieval European fantasy and now.

I HATE half-orcs. My aunt Petunia read about them by accident, and you know what? I've had a lecture about how young 30yr old boys like me shouldn't learn difficult words like "rape" yet. Thanks for nothing, Piazo.

I HATE half-elves. No really, can you even imagine how they come to exist?

I HATE Druids. Tree-hugging? Really? OLOLOLOL. Am I supposed to play that? No, really? And animals? Is this pokemon, or a traditional fantasy game? Gygax would laugh at you.

I HATE Barbarians. Again, what's up with you writers? That oversized sword? Rage? RAGE? What do you know about RAGE? My uncle John can come and punch you in the face, then you'll see what rage is.

I HATE Fighters. Look now... This is a fantasy game. Am I to be serious bringing a baurdich-gosamme or some other stupid French word to a magical battle?

I HATE Clerics. Clerics should be sitting in temples and going yadda yadda, NOT running around in chainmail hitting folks on the head with maces. Have you ever seen a priest do so? Me neither.

I HATE Bards. The mere thought of some silly prancing boy with a lute makes me laugh. Sadly, the designers thought otherwise...

I HATE Paladins. Two words, Paladin alignment. Nuff said.

I HATE Sorcerers. Lobotomized poor man's Wizards, olololol.

I HATE Wizards. Glorified Sorcerers yet still inferior to spontaneous casters in every way. Charisma as primary stat, UMD on skill list and no stupid spellbooks for me, every day!

I HATE Rogues. Rolling buckets of dice for sneak attack while my buddies are stuck rolling 1 die for damage is NOT GOOD BALANCE!

I HATE Rangers. Cheap World of Warcraft knockoffs who even can't pick my fave animal (crab) as a companion. Also, they can't pick guns as weapons. WTF?

I HATE Monks. Friar Tuck called to say what Monks really look like. Eastern poisoning of my fantasy continues.

I HATE Alchemists. Look now, an alchemist is a guy who sits in his labs and brew Cure Light Wounds potions, not some turbo bomber.

I HATE Oracles. Lame. LAME, GEDDIT! Duuuh, you folks are too dense to read my brilliant jokes.

I HATE Inquisitors. I've played WH40K and I know what an Inquistor is. Let me tell you - he's an Imperial badass in power armor. The fact that Games Workshop didn't sue Paizo for use of the name yet is beyond my comprehension.

I HATE Cavaliers. I mean, if I wanted to play a knight I'd go paladin, right? I'd just agree with my GM that he is a Paladin of Sodomy and we would be a-ok, no need for a new class for that.

I HATE Witches. I mean, I'm OK with girl witches, but can you imagine a man in a pointy hat with a broom? Is this some kind of joke?

I HATE Ninjas and Samurai. I think I've said this before: GET YOUR EASTERN CRAP OUT OF MY FANTASY.

I HATE Gunslingers. Take the above sentence and replace EASTERN with WILD WEST. Geddit?

I HATE Maguses. Eldritch Knight was perfectly fine, why the hell a new class for gishes? And let me tell you - gish players are the worst type. They constantly try to woo each other at the table. NO THANKS.

I HATE Summoners. Pokemon+Final Fantasy+lots of math. A traditional gamer's nightmare.


cranewings wrote:
Nerdrage Ooze wrote:
I dislike every class that is in any way connected with that ridiculous thing called "Europe". Really, how am I to take seriously some idiot in plate armor? Who's swinging some barbaric piece of metal only incidentally called "a sword"? European swords were a a pale shade of what glory Japanese smiths could bring forth with their katanas. It doesn't fit with my anime-inspired vision of fantasy at all, and I would really prefer for all those "western" elements to be excised forever. Sadly, there are far too many folks out there who are hung up on their outdated "sword and sorcery" ideas, or even worse, that Tolkien guy. Sheesh. Bring on my guns and katanas!
I'm in physics class right now. You just about made me laugh out loud.

That was a totally serious post, BTW. Nothing works me up like some close-minded SCA neckbeards.


3 people marked this as a favorite.

I dislike every class that is in any way connected with that ridiculous thing called "Europe". Really, how am I to take seriously some idiot in plate armor? Who's swinging some barbaric piece of metal only incidentally called "a sword"? European swords were a a pale shade of what glory Japanese smiths could bring forth with their katanas. It doesn't fit with my anime-inspired vision of fantasy at all, and I would really prefer for all those "western" elements to be excised forever. Sadly, there are far too many folks out there who are hung up on their outdated "sword and sorcery" ideas, or even worse, that Tolkien guy. Sheesh. Bring on my guns and katanas!


OH NO IVORY TOWER DESIGN IS COMING 5E IS DOOMED.


4E KILLED ADOLF HITLER!


PEW PEW INVISIBUL LAZOR BEEMS!

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