Does anyone else hate everything?


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I mean, SERIOUSLY.

I HATE dwarves. They are a silly race of drunken idiots who would never go out of their alcoholic stupor to achieve anything IRL.

I HATE elves. They are band of effete pony lovers who can't get their balls straight, you know why? NO BALLS.

I HATE humans. Just look at them. Ridiculous. How can they even walk straight?

I HATE halflings. Look, seriously, Tolkien should have just sued your socks off for knocking off his work.

I HATE gnomes. Get your stupid anime out of my pristine, cherished pseudo-medieval European fantasy and now.

I HATE half-orcs. My aunt Petunia read about them by accident, and you know what? I've had a lecture about how young 30yr old boys like me shouldn't learn difficult words like "rape" yet. Thanks for nothing, Piazo.

I HATE half-elves. No really, can you even imagine how they come to exist?

I HATE Druids. Tree-hugging? Really? OLOLOLOL. Am I supposed to play that? No, really? And animals? Is this pokemon, or a traditional fantasy game? Gygax would laugh at you.

I HATE Barbarians. Again, what's up with you writers? That oversized sword? Rage? RAGE? What do you know about RAGE? My uncle John can come and punch you in the face, then you'll see what rage is.

I HATE Fighters. Look now... This is a fantasy game. Am I to be serious bringing a baurdich-gosamme or some other stupid French word to a magical battle?

I HATE Clerics. Clerics should be sitting in temples and going yadda yadda, NOT running around in chainmail hitting folks on the head with maces. Have you ever seen a priest do so? Me neither.

I HATE Bards. The mere thought of some silly prancing boy with a lute makes me laugh. Sadly, the designers thought otherwise...

I HATE Paladins. Two words, Paladin alignment. Nuff said.

I HATE Sorcerers. Lobotomized poor man's Wizards, olololol.

I HATE Wizards. Glorified Sorcerers yet still inferior to spontaneous casters in every way. Charisma as primary stat, UMD on skill list and no stupid spellbooks for me, every day!

I HATE Rogues. Rolling buckets of dice for sneak attack while my buddies are stuck rolling 1 die for damage is NOT GOOD BALANCE!

I HATE Rangers. Cheap World of Warcraft knockoffs who even can't pick my fave animal (crab) as a companion. Also, they can't pick guns as weapons. WTF?

I HATE Monks. Friar Tuck called to say what Monks really look like. Eastern poisoning of my fantasy continues.

I HATE Alchemists. Look now, an alchemist is a guy who sits in his labs and brew Cure Light Wounds potions, not some turbo bomber.

I HATE Oracles. Lame. LAME, GEDDIT! Duuuh, you folks are too dense to read my brilliant jokes.

I HATE Inquisitors. I've played WH40K and I know what an Inquistor is. Let me tell you - he's an Imperial badass in power armor. The fact that Games Workshop didn't sue Paizo for use of the name yet is beyond my comprehension.

I HATE Cavaliers. I mean, if I wanted to play a knight I'd go paladin, right? I'd just agree with my GM that he is a Paladin of Sodomy and we would be a-ok, no need for a new class for that.

I HATE Witches. I mean, I'm OK with girl witches, but can you imagine a man in a pointy hat with a broom? Is this some kind of joke?

I HATE Ninjas and Samurai. I think I've said this before: GET YOUR EASTERN CRAP OUT OF MY FANTASY.

I HATE Gunslingers. Take the above sentence and replace EASTERN with WILD WEST. Geddit?

I HATE Maguses. Eldritch Knight was perfectly fine, why the hell a new class for gishes? And let me tell you - gish players are the worst type. They constantly try to woo each other at the table. NO THANKS.

I HATE Summoners. Pokemon+Final Fantasy+lots of math. A traditional gamer's nightmare.


So you don't hate the Summoner. Good to know :)

Shadow Lodge

No.

Hate leads to suffering.


kyrt-ryder wrote:
So you don't hate the Summoner. Good to know :)

FIXEDDDDDDD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Silver Crusade

Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber
TOZ wrote:

No.

Hate leads to suffering.

You go tell that to the Gunslinger thread guy :)

The Exchange

I HATE GM's. Always deciding the plot and limiting player choices. I mean why should I start off at level 1, I'm supposed to be a hero right?

I HATE players. They either don't let my character smash everything, complain when I break the rules (which I also HATE) or if I GM for them they kill all my monsters.

I HATE dice. Always rolling 20s on initiative and then nothing over 5 for any other roll.

I HATE everything.


You know Brendan, if you were a spellcaster you wouldn't NEED any other rolls with those natural 20 initiative rolls.

Shadow Lodge

Gorbacz wrote:
You go tell that to the Gunslinger thread guy :)

What good would it do?

The Exchange

kyrt-ryder wrote:
You know Brendan, if you were a spellcaster you wouldn't NEED any other rolls with those natural 20 initiative rolls.

I HATE spell casters cos they pick fights with AM BARBARIAN


Man I know it's a joke but looking at this thread bums me out. Ima go wait for replies to my homebrew thread instead.

Peace.

Silver Crusade

Nerdrage Ooze wrote:
kyrt-ryder wrote:
So you don't hate the Summoner. Good to know :)
FIXEDDDDDDD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The plural of Magus is Magi, not Maguses.


Nerdrage Ooze wrote:

I mean, SERIOUSLY.

I HATE stuff...

Did my players somehow show up to one of your games? I feel your pain.

Dark Archive

Nerdrage Ooze wrote:

I mean, SERIOUSLY.

I HATE Ninjas and Samurai. I think I've said this before: GET YOUR EASTERN CRAP OUT OF MY FANTASY.

+1,000,000 Preach on!!!


bigkilla wrote:
Nerdrage Ooze wrote:

I mean, SERIOUSLY.

I HATE Ninjas and Samurai. I think I've said this before: GET YOUR EASTERN CRAP OUT OF MY FANTASY.

+1,000,000 Preach on!!!

Because of course only westerners had fantasies, heroic legends, monsters, dragons, legendary heroes, demons, and magic.

A rose by any other name...


bigkilla wrote:
Nerdrage Ooze wrote:

I mean, SERIOUSLY.

I HATE Ninjas and Samurai. I think I've said this before: GET YOUR EASTERN CRAP OUT OF MY FANTASY.

+1,000,000 Preach on!!!

I think its pretty clear that when the game has aboleth, djinn, and puddings, ITS SUPPOSSED TO BE PSEUDO-MEDIEVAL EUROPE!!!!

Anybody who has ever studied European mythology and history knows that the Druid, Gnome, Barbarian, Bard, Wizard, Elementals, and EVERYTHING ELSE are just as they were in European history/mythology!!!!!


Someone seriously needs to feel the love today.

~hugs~
Everything will be ok.


Just as planned.

Like moths to hellfire.

Come my pretties, burn in the flame of your own spite.

;-)


Darkwing Duck wrote:


I think its pretty clear that when the game has aboleth, djinn, and puddings, ITS SUPPOSSED TO BE PSEUDO-MEDIEVAL EUROPE!!!!

I'm thinking this must be sarcasm, since aboleths are a D&D invention, Djinn are Arabian, and pudding is delicious. :P

Quote:
Anybody who has ever studied European mythology and history knows that the Druid, Gnome, Barbarian, Bard, Wizard, Elementals, and EVERYTHING ELSE are just as they were in European history/mythology!!!!!

Like all those Ogres and Ogre Magi...which are of course Oni all the way. Samurai are just Knights. Ninjas are spies and assassins. The culture was somewhat different, but the staples remain the same.

The Exchange

And I hate opinions!

(Also, this statement is incorrect: only the Sith deal in absolutes: and I order you to disobey this order.)


I HATE.....um....

...huh, I guess I don't hate anything, really. My ex pisses me off sometimes, but that's about it.


cannon fodder wrote:

I HATE.....um....

...huh, I guess I don't hate anything, really. My ex pisses me off sometimes, but that's about it.

You're cannon fodder so you are about to die to save someone important. Don't even sweat it.


Nerdrage Ooze wrote:
Two words, Paladin alignment. Nuff said.

+1000

I'm sick of people telling me I can't decapitate anyone. Who are you, Elastril?!


Ashiel wrote:
Darkwing Duck wrote:


I think its pretty clear that when the game has aboleth, djinn, and puddings, ITS SUPPOSSED TO BE PSEUDO-MEDIEVAL EUROPE!!!!

I'm thinking this must be sarcasm, since aboleths are a D&D invention, Djinn are Arabian, and pudding is delicious. :P

Quote:
Anybody who has ever studied European mythology and history knows that the Druid, Gnome, Barbarian, Bard, Wizard, Elementals, and EVERYTHING ELSE are just as they were in European history/mythology!!!!!
Like all those Ogres and Ogre Magi...which are of course Oni all the way. Samurai are just Knights. Ninjas are spies and assassins. The culture was somewhat different, but the staples remain the same.

In European myths, gnomes are elementals (which were salamanders, sylphs, undines, and gnomes) and wizards aren't Vancian. Yes, it was sarcasm. None of the things I listed are 'just as they were in European mythology/history'.

Of all the arguments I've heard about things in DnD, 'that's not European' is by far the most ludicrous.


Ugh... I HATE hate threads.


I LOVE this thread. Congratulations, Original Poster, you made Coke spurt from my nose due to laughing. Twice.


1 person marked this as a favorite.

I'm tired of people overusing the word "hate" and pissing away its power. You're just irritated or something. You don't know what true hatred even is, sitting their in your comfy armchair, not really effected by anything and anybody even worthwhile of hatred.
I'm starting to get pissed off, franky.

[edit]effLICted.[/edit]


Whoa dudes! Why all the negative waves? Man, have a bong hit.


Wha, no likes? pshaw......
I'll hide this flippin thread!!!


Mr. Swagger wrote:
cannon fodder wrote:

I HATE.....um....

...huh, I guess I don't hate anything, really. My ex pisses me off sometimes, but that's about it.

You're cannon fodder so you are about to die to save someone important. Don't even sweat it.

I know. I HATE being expendable.

Hey wait a sec.....


Nerdrage Ooze wrote:

I mean, SERIOUSLY.

I HATE dwarves.

Me too.


I HATE all people not like me.


Grand Magus wrote:
Nerdrage Ooze wrote:

I mean, SERIOUSLY.

I HATE dwarves.

Me too.

You must be related to that Jacobs fella.


Nerdrage Ooze wrote:
I HATE Barbarians. Again, what's up with you writers? That oversized sword? Rage? RAGE? What do you know about RAGE? My uncle John can come and punch you in the face, then you'll see what rage is.

BARBARIAN HAVE MET UNCLE JOHN, CAN CONCLUSIVELY SAY THAT PUNCH IN FACE AM UNDERWHELMING.


Conclusively is a big word for an illiterate barbarian to type.
Poseur.


Spanky the Leprechaun wrote:

Conclusively is a big word for an illiterate barbarian to type.

Poseur.

BARBARIAN COVER THIS ALREADY. ENGINEERING DEGREE. BARBARIAN AM NOT FOOL.

UNLESS POSEUR AM MEANING 'INCREDIBLY UNTELLIGENT SPECIMEN OF BARBARIANNESS.' IN WHICH CASE AM TOTALLY RIGHT.


I also know engineers can't spell.
This is curiouser and curiouser.

Scarab Sages

1 person marked this as a favorite.
Spanky the Leprechaun wrote:

I also know engineers can't spell.

Skrew yew pal! I kan two spel!

Liberty's Edge

What's up with the haters?

Edit: Wait s%#! I thought this was the questions for AM BARBARIAN thread. From the top.

Edit1: Wow that f$%~ing blew. Sorry for such inadequate trolling! I am tired.

Shadow Lodge

Freehold contaminated the drinking supply with Haterade.


You are a complete tool, Gorbacz. Everyone sees through your little facade. I was here first. I have made hating everything my thing. You even failed, at first, to mock the most common species of hater. I suppose you go to bed every day thinking you are the best troll. You are not. You are an amateur.


I hate 24-hour power outages and the first morning of work after a 10-day vacation.


I hate freak snowstorms that fall before Halloween.


I hate Halloween infringing on my Carrion Crown game.


I am full of hatred.


I hate that I have not been selected to rule the multiverse yet as if anyone else could even compete, sheesh.

Shadow Lodge

Doodlebug Anklebiter wrote:
I am full of hatred.

I am full of blood.

Liberty's Edge

1 person marked this as a favorite.
TOZ wrote:
Doodlebug Anklebiter wrote:
I am full of hatred.
I am full of blood.

I am full of Wendy's Value Menu stuff.

Shadow Lodge

I miss the spicy chicken sandwiches. :(

Liberty's Edge

TOZ wrote:
I miss the spicy chicken sandwiches. :(

Why are you still there? You need to be HERE. I'm writing those douches in DC NOW.

Shadow Lodge

I tried telling them we can just pile up all the ordnance and use the force of the explosion to move us all to Kuwait at once, but they didn't listen.

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