Melissa_Norveg's page

"You know how the three L's for a places price are locationlocation and location? Yeaaah. I didn't have that. So unless the Risen has some REALLY good drift engines it would take me almost that long just to get to the work ou... that's your plan for making the gym memberships hard to get out of isn't it?.. But I'll swing by when we need to run into town for supplies. No matter where you are, absolom station is right there. "

Melissa bought a quit claim deed to an uninhabited planet out in the vast. I think the dwarves were calling it Dirt. Weydena four sounds like a nice quiet name, nothing will happen there..

"Isn't one of your own courses titled "let someone else sit on the throne" JUST so someone goes gunning for them instead of you? Akh, whats the turnover rate on top dog of a crime syndicate vs. oh say the sommelier? "

" Gotta love DNN, the drow news network. Sports, weather, business, assassinations, and then a nice fluff piece at the end about someone's kid scoring their first kill just so it doesn't seem like a total downer...gotta go out on an uplifting story "

Melissa d ohs "I thought this was an individual thing. but remember when i said lets NOT have anyone ticked at us? Gregor gets paid off, we DON"T trap Frick and frack to stew here for ten years then come to blame us and our mostly grown kids..anyway why don't you see if you can keep the list going... "

Melissa rummages through her cheekpouch filing cabinet of fake id's and asks the cats "Which one of you wants to be Lars, Human Cyborg obssessi...no wait used that one already..."

"Your Majesty I'm in need of a few farm hands on a little side project I'm working on. Perhaps if I could get access to your wonderful seed banks, and a few hands to plant them.... the ugly cat in the back and the one next to them might do. "

Akh harumphs "We could get another perfectly good ship with the credits left over. One that people aren't fighting us to steal."

why do you think i wanted to let guess? have it for a year.... "

"Hmmm, sometimes I wonder if you'd be swan diving into the sun Guess, so long as you believed there was a credstick under the surface..." Akh shakes his head "In any case, I definitely think we should liquidate the ship. The whole bigger on the inside thing isn't going to be valuable for long, so now's the time to make sure it goes to a reputable-ish buyer. Unless someone wants to just keep it as a status symbol..."

"Nope! If you love something let it go, it if comes back to you its yours. We tried to let Del's sister have it, it came back to us its ours. Also, always have a way out. We're going to be on a backwater planet on the vast. We;re going to need SOMETHING in case of swarm, goblin invasion, human empires, asteroid strike... "

" If you survive the drow you might be able to give dad a run for his money. I'm not sure if moms scarier being wanted for war crimes or dad's scarier NOT being wanted for warcrimes.. "

What would happen if Zinaida Portnova and Simo Hayha got together to compare notes, fell in love on the job, and were interrupted by the arrival of the swarm... And also were snarky space rats but honestly that seems to be the smallest change...

Melissa nods at Akh then tells Guess? " When you come running, we want 1 minute of warning for every bullet, laser blast, or level of spell following your keister to kill you. "

"Maybe keep the ship for a year? I'd expect after then the trick with it being bigger on the inside will stop letting you smuggle in the fun drugs once the inspection crews start pulling out analog measuring tapes. Then come drop it off, and bring Jaraduk for a visit.. Del and Strek too if they don't RUN when you call. And we can use it to haul produce back and forth along with **chitter** our colony can't make...yet."

has to ask the Nuar "Isn't a pilates gym just a room?"

Melissa looks at Guess?'s puppy dog eyes and hands him an airsick bag.

Vlaaka do it better. Absolutely not. Who's left that wants to kill us? EJ bought us out. Sinjins toast, his brother helped us off him so I'm not seeing any revenge there. You squared things up with the berry guy. And this is the reason we did NOT **chitter** with the spooky black ops corporate government data we found. And either I'll smooth things over for Dreggor or he won't be a problem I don't see a lot of in between there.

She sighs. "Look Guess?You're not going to stop being family... the annoying little brother I thankfully never had... just because we split up. I've got a lot of family I don't see all the time. They're still family. Some of them do things a LOT worse than you...

She unrolls Moms Veskarium wanted poster. Dishonorable combat. Tampering with a water supply. chemical warfare. Biological warfare. Nanite warfare. Use of wildlife to spread biological agents. Assassination outside of designated combat zones. Adulteration of food substances. Destruction of medical facilities.

" and NO that was NOT a challenge... "

I've been hinting at this a bit. But if you recall when fireheart called about being a vesk unit that investigated old crimes, this is why she absolutely FREAKED and dropped her phone in the goop.

Melissa is inclined to call dreggor back and get him some action shots of him diving down the shaft to rescue his falling friend and crawling back up using drow leg bones as climbing spikes.

Could put some ranks info profession videographer that has come up an odd number of times this AP.....

"The little ones are still in the omlette stage right? We can see if any of these guys has the good thermal capacitor if you're sticking around... "

"And no rest. Sinjin and the king had all that, and do you think they were EVER happy, like even for a minute? They had so much all they could think to do was to keep it by any means necessary. He thought he would loose his empire because a couple of box haulers and a tattoo artist flipped him the bird... and it came around to bite him in the **chitter**. "

"How many petty slights kept him awake at night? How many times did he flinch when he got wine wondering "hey is today the day Deminda does me in". 'When you own something, it owns you'. You can't own a high position in a DROW crime ring without someone deciding your position is worth taking. How many times did we say we were the ones in control of the job but had to wing it because the job was running us? "

"Zeldrins had the crime ring for..." she looks at the time stamp on the selfie "3 minutes and 47 seconds and he's already got his first heavily armed coup in the works. King Dreggor is also worrying about a coup, FROM PEOPLE HE HELPED... You think NONE of your goblins are going to want a Drow promotion? I'm gonna go with Grandma AND Saranrae on this one.. get your **chitter** and G.T.F.O. while the gettins good.

Melissa has that colony planet she bought the rights to. If Akh wants to come and taste what foods like when farm to table is a literal stones tomato throw. He can bring his cult of Foodie anti Kalistrialites who love food, go naked, work for a living, and are broke instead of the opposite...

She also needs to see if that donation to the church of saranrae could get an elemental rezzed. She feels bad about that.

... Should probably also look into getting a spatula and a normal resurrection for the guard that was thrown down the shaft. Thats well within her share of sinjins credit card.

She's not sure what to do about King Greggor. She needs to ask the cats about that one. Abject cowardice is a synonym for "smart" in ysoki so she doesn't care about that.
The self aggrandizement is perfectly fine, keeping people here.. not so much. . He needs to make his loans back, but Melissa has no idea what kind of interests rates he's charging. Its a fine line between working off what you owe and debt slavery.

But he seems to be doing a pretty good job here as most of the people love him and don't want to leave. She's not above editing greggor into the fight, telling him to keep the usery to a dull roar

Hey look finally, a set of armor!

"Everybody Try to pose like you're not hurt... " tosses Zeldirin a datapad to take a picture with the group and the Armor and gear in a pile like it's a 12 point Stridermander at the end of a Vesk Hunt. PM the others tell them to STOP killing now, or we'll make them WISH the new boss was the same as the old boss in terms of punishments.

He probably MEANS to make that call before celbrating but Melissa is not risking lives on his sobriety. And she wanted someone to take the picture.

Once she's sure the phoenix feather isn't going to spring up and MUAHAHAHHAHA, Melissa Scurries over and hits jaraduk with The BIG gum ball of mystic healing yanked from her cheekpouch and pulls him off the food cart

be healed: 12d8 ⇒ (8, 2, 6, 5, 5, 3, 6, 3, 8, 5, 5, 2) = 58 &?7 from the base spell 5 since I don't think I'm bringing our mascot back from the dead. Golden glowing wings appear around the ysoki for a moment

"Magical incarnation of chitter in tight leather pants. Who cares. Lets find a pair of null space chambers, chuck the feather into the bag and the bag into the other bag and launch it into.. well the sun would be a bad idea with a phoenix but I saw a black hole about two parsecs back.. ."

She hops into the fountain with a slight HISSSSSS , breaks out the Nuar horn shining kit , the mechdragon buffing wheel, and the goblin Hygine super soaker and starts to clean buff and de goblin the party as best she can with scorch and gouge marks all over everyone. She sighs a little at the sight of the Butterfly wing shiner and Stretchy rubber loofas.

"So whats the play with his majesty there. We booting him out and hoping the next guy isn't worse, taking over the place, Running it with him as a figurehead, or putting him back on the throne or just skivving off? "

reflex: 1d20 + 14 ⇒ (2) + 14 = 16

AHH chitter.....

mysticism: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (13) + 4 = 17

Trapped under the bench melssa doesn't have much space to dodge, just curses "Oh chitter...." and gets a fireball to the face. The smell of burned rat overrides all Eu du AzMac as her whiskers get burned down to nubs. She gahs, Synthetic blue eyes shut "Hey sound off..Everyone here... I swear if that feather catches fire and he comes back we are RUNNING to the furthest edge of the galaxy and NOT coming back... "

Standard Inspiring boost on Jaraduk "Time to make the doughnuts deliveries. JARADUK wake up it's your shift! " +28 stamina should keep him from dropping just from the fire.

Move: Hurry on Jaraduk so he can have some retreating options next round.

"Leave the launcher G.T.F.O.!"

Sniff.. sniff.. sniff....

Melissa has scent and starts to droool a little

"Why do I have a sudden craving for Azlanti Burger Monarch even through the armor seals?!?!?"

Soooo out of character!

I'm thinking after that last shot int he butt Akh can now survive one normal hit (the 66 damage one wasnt a crit but it was damned close to double average damage) he has

Hurry to avoid getting a double attack is a LOT of pro active healing against a boss.

Sinjin is FF so jaraduk could retrieve launcher move away with the hurry action then fire.

It would be funny if guess just stood there shooting, looked through it at sinjin 10 feet away "wow.. good resolution on the scope..." put it down and saw sinjin in his face. Objects in telephotic scope are closer than they appear...

GET EM! +2 hit no damage

Doesn't take her own advice and shoots Akh in the butt

be healed!: 6d8 ⇒ (6, 5, 2, 2, 1, 3) = 19 last good one I think...

Move: Hurry on akh

There's a slight SQUEEEK as her grandchilds cloak goes from 1 to 2 charges. (thank you absurdly expensive speed charger)

Akh, if you full attack and 5 foot back You can force him to move attack instead of double attacking , Jaraduks lost the flank anyway, you have 20 foot reach I can't see a downside there.

Hurry on Akh
- 4 point swing on his AC between the get am and the FF.

Jaraduk snorts and grits his teeth...

[dice=DC21 Fortitude]1d20+10

I can't keep up so close to ground zero here! he quickly realizes.

He backs away and picks his grenade launcher back up.

[move] 10ft
[move] pick up weapon

You can take another action you've got melissas Hurry. You could swing before leaving, or five foot step five foot step and not get whacked of opportunity. Im assuming the 10 foot tall firebird of inky death has reach.

edit OH. guess flat footed him, i THINK he lost whatever made him unable to be flat footed if he lost evasion too... you could test that or just 5 foot 5 foot.

I'll throw it on Jaraduk then? Its a move action I don't have much else that goes there. Catching a full attack from this guy is a BAD idea.

At three HP a crit could easily kill you and I can only fix that ONCE....

If Akh was at full HP, save the good shot as melissa is only missing 7 hp or so post level up. He'll probably be getting it next round...

Average of 6d8 would be 54 ..crap can't full attack so 22 ish.
Inspiring boost heals 2x envoy level + charisma mod, which would be 28.

Free Drop machine gun (melissa is making a mess of heavy weapons all over the place)

Swift draw causto from cheek pouch

Standard Inspiring Boost

Move Give AKH a hurry

"Float like a butterfly sting like a spicy noodle! Whack step and Back off if you have to! Trust your team the bull isn't going to be well done in one whack " she hopes...

<<<AKH +28 Stamina>>>

<<Akh HURRY!>> (not sure if that goes this round or next round)

Whoaaaa, I didn't connect the dots. It would have been so cool to have Jessica and Del in the last book.

Watches Akh's spot check roll to 17 then tip over to 1. Repeatedly. :)

Inspiring Boost for the first time at Level 13 is actually hilarious.

It's usefullness is kind of limited by the fact that it can only be used once, and then you have to rest anyway to get another inspiring boost.

Full stamina no rest
Missing any stamina rest
Missing HP rest
Fallen over rest

Unless the boost takes you from one level to the other it has very little effect. If your envoy packs a pea shooter the standard action opportunity cost is small, but if you go with the heavy weapon paradigm its functionally -2 hit -2 damage for the party... the preventative medicine of murderating the boss usually outweighs the stam boost.

Missing HP quickly becomes six pack of calden cayden healing serum at the cost of .01 percent of your income.

Unless of course, there's only one fight left......

"Can't drop.. someone.. needs.. keep.. idiots. Alive. " she gulps down one last meal of genuine goop from cheffy 1.0 while casually shooting her team mates in their posteriors. The full spectrum of vitamins fills out that six pack she's been working on.... which is completely hidden by the fluff and the fluff. (toughness and the level gets her in much better shape)

One round of free healing

be healed jaraduk : 6d8 ⇒ (3, 2, 7, 4, 2, 4) = 22

Polishing the mech dragon: 6d8 ⇒ (6, 6, 4, 5, 6, 4) = 31

(We had six good healing serums, one went to His Furry magesties SS keister, 2 last round, now 2 this round. , so one more 6d8 then 4 3d8s in the caustoject)

"If he wins, he's going to burn down everything we ever loved or loved us. I don't know if we're living, but we're NOT losing...One last time with feeling... "

GET EM!!!

+2 hit and damage to everyone. using signature support to not burn that resolve point for the second time today.

Swift HORMf the caustoject into cheekpouch
Move: move and draw the x gen, walk under the bench and hopefully the bench gives a little cover

Standard GET EM ALL! and shoot

1d20 + 17 + 2 ⇒ (1) + 17 + 2 = 20 vs KAC
damage: 2d12 + 13 + 2 ⇒ (12, 5) + 13 + 2 = 32

... of course after her rousing speech she shoots the stone bench she's under and the bullet goes ricocheting around making her duck and dance.

Alright. My character sheet got messed up somewhere and i can't find my level 11 feat.

Picking up toughness and lightning reflexes, because I see a fireball in my future.

Inspiring boost, YAY i'm a real envoy now. Because we do NOT have a whole lot of the good healing serums left.

jaraduk: Melissa has a machine gun and a zappy gun if you can't get airborn. The zappy gun has shortrange the x gen gun has a 120 foot range.

If you can get to her that would be great because she has a healing spell gem burning a hole in her cheekpouch.

inspiring combo thing i forgot: 1d10 - 4 ⇒ (8) - 4 = 4

Should I level up Guess? looks like one more damage no more hit and nothing interesting besides that

Melissas technical position might be peon willing to risk herself to keep you alive but I think in game turns that's still Ally...

I was trying to figure out when the heck you would ever use this thing...I don't think I got that the -4 was from the full attack anyway. Or -6 with the.. And Melissa was keyed in on the old unwieldy weapon paradigm.

AKH HURRY!!

Melissa's hot and cold thermos thermal capacitor knocks a leeetle bit of the edge off of that (cold resistance five). She then full attacks!... shooting jaraduk in the butt and Akh in his tail.

"violating about 12 of moms rules here.... "

Jaraduk be healed!: 6d8 ⇒ (3, 7, 2, 5, 1, 6) = 24

Mope rope be healed!: 6d8 ⇒ (3, 2, 8, 7, 8, 7) = 35

Swift draw the Caustoject out of her cheek pouch

Standard: GET EM ALL... and shoot king Dreggor in the butt. Besides being a bear with a large kesiter, you don't need to roll to hit your allies.
be healed!: 6d8 ⇒ (2, 3, 8, 7, 7, 4) = 31. King Dreggor is an expensive date but... king. No time to re arrange the ammo for the cheaper one. Thats a biohacker thing....

Move: Spits the end of the ammo belt into the gun and prepares to fire it from her cheekpouch.

I think this is the first time I've actually reloaded in battle in starfinder..

<GET EM ALL!>

This SHOULD work because I'm up in the tree a bit, to get greggor the 5 feet he needs to NOT die in the cone.

DEATH BY PYTHAGORAS!

Xgen gun full auto!!!!!

Pink KAC 1d20 + 16 ⇒ (8) + 16 = 24
Green 1d20 + 16 ⇒ (10) + 16 = 26
Red 1d20 + 16 ⇒ (11) + 16 = 27
Blue 1d20 + 16 ⇒ (19) + 16 = 35

one damage roll to rule them all: 2d12 + 12 ⇒ (3, 6) + 12 = 21

She's gotten much better at this since basic training, even if she's cheating using her tail to hold onto a branch...

Melissa springs up cursing, "Akh han on we'll be right with you...sorry!"" she says to the eels as she drops them "Get the yellow bellied coward with a hole in his CHITTER Murder the same person at the same time!" too far away for the eels, she yanks the xgen gun the ooze tried to murder them with out of her bag and takes a shot

attack KAC: 1d20 + 16 + 2 ⇒ (10) + 16 + 2 = 28
damage: 2d12 + 12 ⇒ (8, 6) + 12 = 26

I think Akh should get sinjins attention. And / Or whack a mook. Akh the least hurt, takes the least damage from the boss. While Jaraduk can move without AOOs (and operative aoo's dont usually hurt that bad) they can move trick attack move trick attack more times than they'll need to. Zombies we could lock behind a door, non operatives we could lock in mechanically or with computers, but there's no way out of here where they can't follow. Nothing keeps them in this room.

We're kind of stuck here come hell or high water

Puts two rolls on her head under her ears Help us guess? you're our only hope..

Melissa burns some more resolve because we're kinda hosed if this doesn't land (no get em) clever attack!

attack!: 1d20 + 16 + 1d6 + 2 ⇒ (6) + 16 + (2) + 2 = 26
damage: 2d8 + 12 ⇒ (8, 5) + 12 = 25 non lethal electric to blue and yellow

Then activates her thruster heels to zoom accross the map into the tree wheeeeeeeeeeee

Get behind the trunk and drop prone on a branch. should get cover and concealment?

Melissas cheek pouch of tricks is getting pretty low.

Jaraduk, time to get horny!....not like that.

if that pun doesn't summon guess? nothing will

I don't have anything to block his vision on you. Jaraduk might have a smoke grenade? But if he runs and guns he's probably going to trick attack, which may hurt worse because the DR only goes off once.

These guys do 40+ damage a hit while moving.If they drop I can start shooting healing serums but unless I'm in the water with my head down or in the tree there isn't a spot on the map I can go without being murderated.

Melissa burns 2 resolve to make SURE she hits this time. (no get em)

attacks: 1d20 + 16 + 1d6 + 2 ⇒ (13) + 16 + (6) + 2 = 37 vs eac. If they can be flat footed they are flat footed.

damage: 2d8 + 12 ⇒ (7, 3) + 12 = 22 to blue and yellow

Swift stands up (no aoo in starfinder)

Move: activates grandchilds cloak

Free: Activates SKITTERHEART for a move action.

Free move: scurries away from where she was

<Rodents invisible again> 2/3

Standard

Get em all!

Attack: 1d20 + 16 + 2 ⇒ (2) + 16 + 2 = 20
damage: 2d8 + 12 + 2 ⇒ (3, 8) + 12 + 2 = 25 non lethal electric on blue and green

move: turn on the grandchilds cloak and POP invisible.

Swift Drop prone.

WARNING: Invisible rodent is back again. Or gone. <Invisible rodent>

Akh.. stay with the class.. dammit.

Throws a GET EM on yellow and tries to blast yellow, the only one in range

attack: 1d20 + 16 + 2 ⇒ (15) + 16 + 2 = 33
damage: 2d8 + 12 ⇒ (8, 3) + 12 = 23

Melissa touches the bit of pink rock around her neck, a reminder of her last failure in keeping someone alive.

"I've put in for a much more expensive rez. Maybe I can get a bulk discount. not too much more bulk... "Do we want a mob of angry people defending their king? "

Dash to where Iru's body is landing from here would take how long?

Melisa's handknit ysoki blanket DINGS as the charging bad restores it's charges.

"Start the Eska jambories. Have one of them "accidentally" use their left hand or something, that should convince some intern drow looking for brownie points thats the real fake that that's her. "

For Akh

"Not going to fault the guy for breaking under torture. Mom said most people do and something about a large alpha value. I thought he has his force-field.. thing? No way he wouldn't put it up with a drow visiting. "

Well I never. I can't believe i've actually offended over someone NOT trying their damndest to kill me...

She tries to find something alcoholic guess? hasn't already looted to get into her.

"We..erm. they are mooks. they don't tell people where the meeting is. We could however disguise ourselves as them and walk in. "

"Well which of our "Eskas" do they have? We shipped the real one off planet so they've got one of the fakes. They were supposed to drop the disguise if they were caught. "

Will hope there's a ten minute rest in our future and plop a Cuddlewing brand bag of peas on jaraduks head

1d20 + 21 ⇒ (10) + 21 = 31

jaraduk gets 18 HP back . Melissa hands him a six pack of level 1 healing serums if he doesn't have his own.

Melissa loads four of the healing serums into her caustoject, and is sure to let the party knows its in her left cheek pouch up front.

computers: 1d20 + 20 + 1d6 + 2 ⇒ (10) + 20 + (3) + 2 = 35

Seeing its aburner phone, Melissa pops the batteries out, pops the batteries in, enters a new password. Confirms that the password she just gave the computer is in fact the password.

Move action Jaraduk, HURRY jaraduck gets a free move action this round, so he could swing step step

<Move action for Jaraduk><Move action for Jaraduk>

"Last time.. GET EM ALL!"

attack: 1d20 + 16 + 2 ⇒ (10) + 16 + 2 = 28 EAC
damage: 2d8 + 12 + 2 ⇒ (6, 5) + 12 + 2 = 25 Non lethal to blue and green if jaraduk moves or just green if he doesn't.

Drop prone. the couch is comfy

"Alright thats it.. GET EM ALL"

Attack blue and red: 1d20 + 16 + 2 ⇒ (5) + 16 + 2 = 23
damage: 2d8 + 12 + 2 ⇒ (2, 2) + 12 + 2 = 18

Move action: Invisible again

Warning. Invisible rodent. Warning.....Invisible rodent...

Melissa pops back into reality zapping Red and blue
Get the one with red hair!...seriously its going to look pink tomorrow..

EAC: 1d20 + 16 ⇒ (19) + 16 = 35 2 higher on red
non lethal electric damage: 2d8 + 12 ⇒ (7, 7) + 12 = 26

Swift action stand up, because spacerat
Run behind the couch because fluffy ooze.

GOBLINBOT

Red is the one with the best shot AND is closest to my august person this august

24-atm extrusion rifle vs KAC 1d20 + 15 ⇒ (8) + 15 = 23 +2 for the get em
(Manual sight reduces range and AC cover bonuses by 2 if character doesn't move)
Damage (B): 2d10 + 5d6 ⇒ (7, 9) + (3, 5, 4, 6, 2) = 36 +2 for the get em all

Round 2

24-atm extrusion rifle vs KAC 1d20 + 15 ⇒ (6) + 15 = 21
(Manual sight reduces range and AC cover bonuses by 2 if character doesn't move)
Damage (B): 2d10 + 5d6 ⇒ (1, 9) + (4, 1, 1, 2, 6) = 24

Melissa almost has armor now ! Since one of the mooks trying to kill us was so nice to drop it. so the 22 will miss (+2 for FF but -4 vs ranged because she dropped prone)

2 more damage on red because of the get em.

Standard action "GET THE yellow ONE!"

attack: 1d20 + 16 ⇒ (9) + 16 = 25 2 higher on yellow
damage: 2d8 + 12 ⇒ (3, 5) + 12 = 20 non lethal electric to yellow and green

Move action. Turn on the grandchilds cloak and POOF into invisible.

<danger. Invisible rodent. Danger. Invisble rodent>