Meat Wagon's page

Time to get to work.. but this is too fun to be called work.

Meat Wagon revvs his engines and ◆ lurches ahead into the white being, mower blades pulsing!

◆ Melee Strike (Overdrive): Bumper Ram: 1d20 + 12 ⇒ (20) + 12 = 32
Damage (B): 2d8 + 4 + 5 ⇒ (3, 7) + 4 + 5 = 19

◆ Melee Strike (Overdrive): Mower Blade (Agile)(Finesse): 1d20 + 12 - 4 ⇒ (6) + 12 - 4 = 14
Damage (S): 2d6 + 4 + 5 ⇒ (2, 6) + 4 + 5 = 17

That tickles! Meat Wagon shudders a bit as short and green reconnects some wires before ◆ zooming off to flatten the red thing.

◆ Melee Strike (Overdrive): Bumper Ram: 1d20 + 12 ⇒ (20) + 12 = 32
Damage (B): 2d8 + 4 + 5 ⇒ (1, 5) + 4 + 5 = 15

So one attack killed it? The last attack then will be ranged then on the closest: yellow.

Damage (B): 2d4 + 2 + 5 ⇒ (3, 1) + 2 + 5 = 11

Will Save DC25, 18 Sonic, Fear: 1d20 + 12 ⇒ (2) + 12 = 14 Guess we're just made of glass over here!
Reflex Save DC21 vs 9 Fire: 1d20 + 14 ⇒ (16) + 14 = 30

Meaty suffers just as much as his master but ◆ moves to attack blue regardless.

◆ Melee Strike (Overdrive): Bumper Ram vs Prone: 1d20 + 12 ⇒ (19) + 12 = 31 Damage (B): 2d8 + 4 + 5 ⇒ (4, 6) + 4 + 5 = 19

◆ Melee Strike (Overdrive): Mower Blade (Agile)(Finesse) vs Prone: 1d20 + 12 - 4 ⇒ (19) + 12 - 4 = 27 Damage (S): 2d6 + 4 + 5 ⇒ (6, 1) + 4 + 5 = 16

Aww, I was looking forward to liquification... Meat Wagon revvs his engines disappointingly.

Meat Wagon rolls ahead, wondering why the no mulching order, doing the best he can to disarm the group.

Disarm or you'll be liquefied!

Athletics DC25: 1d20 + 12 ⇒ (15) + 12 = 27

Reflex Save DC22 vs -10 Speed: 1d20 + 14 ⇒ (5) + 14 = 19

The bushes start to swallow and wrap up on Meat Wagon's axel, slowing its movement. He downshifts gears and chugs towards the next target.

I can't see the map to know how much movement I'll use, nor if the target is red or yellow. If red is up double move that way, if red is down then move towards yellow, a strike if I can get there with 15' movement speed.

Reflex Save DC20 vs 9 Piercing: 1d20 + 14 ⇒ (13) + 14 = 27
Reflex Save DC22 vs -10 Speed: 1d20 + 14 ⇒ (16) + 14 = 30

You swear you're hearing some mean double bass drums in your ears as Meat Wagon tries to get to work on flatting and mowing down this stubborn red weed. Mulch it, mulch it... mmhmm!

◆ Melee Strike (Overdrive): Bumper Ram: 1d20 + 12 ⇒ (10) + 12 = 22
Damage (B): 2d8 + 4 + 3 ⇒ (1, 3) + 4 + 3 = 11

◆ Melee Strike (Overdrive): Mower Blade (Agile)(Finesse): 1d20 + 12 - 4 ⇒ (16) + 12 - 4 = 24
Damage (S): 2d6 + 4 + 3 ⇒ (1, 1) + 4 + 3 = 9

Good shot, time to mulch!

Meat Wagon ◆ rumbles ahead, trying to flatten what's left of yellow.

◆ Melee Strike (Overdrive): Bumper Ram: 1d20 + 12 ⇒ (14) + 12 = 26 Damage (B): 2d8 + 4 + 3 ⇒ (4, 6) + 4 + 3 = 17

Meat Wagon spins their tires and ◆◆ picks their way around the statues to flank green, lurching ahead with its bumper.

Lay down so I can chop you!

◆ Melee Strike (Overdrive): Bumper Ram vs OG?: 1d20 + 12 ⇒ (19) + 12 = 31 Damage (B), 1 Fire: 2d8 + 4 + 1 ⇒ (7, 2) + 4 + 1 = 14

Meaty wastes no time or thought? on the directive, only wanting to ram that kitty off the road with a drive-by.

◆ Stride 25'

◆ Melee Strike (Overdrive): Bumper Ram: 1d20 + 12 ⇒ (5) + 12 = 17
Damage (B): 2d8 + 4 + 5 ⇒ (8, 3) + 4 + 5 = 20

Smash time!

Meat Wagon ◆ squeals their tires and tries for ramming speed!

◆ Melee Strike (Overdrive): Bumper Ram: 1d20 + 12 ⇒ (11) + 12 = 23
Damage (B): 2d8 + 4 + 5 ⇒ (5, 2) + 4 + 5 = 16

Tenderizing my target, nice.

Meat Wagon lurches ahead trying to flatten the red cat before the mulching blades finish it off.. hopefully.

◆ Melee Strike (Overdrive): Bumper Ram: 1d20 + 12 ⇒ (6) + 12 = 18
Damage (B): 2d8 + 4 + 5 ⇒ (7, 2) + 4 + 5 = 18

◆ Melee Strike (Overdrive): Mower Blade (Agile)(Finesse): 1d20 + 12 - 4 ⇒ (5) + 12 - 4 = 13
Damage (S): 2d6 + 4 + 5 ⇒ (6, 2) + 4 + 5 = 17

Time to be a hero again. Meat Wagon adjusts their aim when its needed most.

Hero Point: ◆ Melee Strike (Overdrive): Bumper Ram: 1d20 + 12 ⇒ (19) + 12 = 31
Damage (B): 2d8 + 4 + 5 ⇒ (6, 2) + 4 + 5 = 17

Meat Wagon's engines purr in delight thanks to the critical overdrive. They ◆ roll ahead towards red and activate the shaving blades.

◆ Melee Strike (Overdrive): Mower Blade (Agile)(Finesse): 1d20 + 12 ⇒ (1) + 12 = 13
Damage (S): 2d6 + 4 + 5 ⇒ (1, 6) + 4 + 5 = 16

Kapow!

Conceal, DC5: 1d20 ⇒ 9
◆ Ranged Strike (Overdrive): Mini Catapult: 30': 1d20 + 12 ⇒ (6) + 12 = 18 Damage (B): 2d4 + 2 + 3 ⇒ (3, 4) + 2 + 3 = 12

Click, click, click: Reload

Kapow!

Conceal, DC5: 1d20 ⇒ 10
◆ Ranged Strike (Overdrive): Mini Catapult: 30': 1d20 + 12 - 5 ⇒ (17) + 12 - 5 = 24 Damage (B): 2d4 + 2 + 3 ⇒ (2, 4) + 2 + 3 = 11

Will Save vs Fear, DC21: 1d20 + 12 ⇒ (3) + 12 = 15

Meat Wagon's engine develops an odd knock... Frightened 2

Without any other direct orders, Meat Wagon flings a stone at the smoky mass of the red rat.

Concealed: 1d20 ⇒ 6
◆ Ranged Strike (Overdrive): Mini Catapult: 30', Fear 2: 1d20 + 12 - 2 ⇒ (5) + 12 - 2 = 15
Damage (B): 2d4 + 2 + 3 ⇒ (2, 1) + 2 + 3 = 8

Burnin! DC15: 1d20 ⇒ 131d4 ⇒ 2

What else would I do to a rat? I hate rats.

Meat Wagon lurches at the concealed rat with his bumper and engages his mower blades.

Flat Check DC5: 1d20 ⇒ 15
◆ Melee Strike (Overdrive): Bumper Ram: 1d20 + 12 ⇒ (9) + 12 = 21
Damage (B): 2d8 + 4 + 3 ⇒ (2, 7) + 4 + 3 = 16

Flat Check DC5: 1d20 ⇒ 16
◆ Melee Strike (Overdrive): Mower Blade (Agile)(Finesse): 1d20 + 12 - 4 ⇒ (5) + 12 - 4 = 13
Damage (S): 2d6 + 4 + 3 ⇒ (5, 1) + 4 + 3 = 13

I think I did a better mulching job than Meat Wagon

I dare him to say that out loud..

Meat Wagon ◆ rolls ahead into the smoke, trying to flatten the source with his bumper. The smoke doesn't bother him, Stitch however is still exposed.. again.

Flat Check DC5: 1d20 ⇒ 14
◆ Melee Strike (Overdrive): Bumper Ram: 1d20 + 12 ⇒ (12) + 12 = 24
Damage (B): 2d8 + 4 + 3 ⇒ (1, 2) + 4 + 3 = 10

I need to buy a lotto ticket, I'm on a roll!

Meat Wagon's engines drop down in gear once again, chugging ahead as he rolls between Sal's legs and down the hallway to try boxing in the purple woman. The gore covered bumper rams as the humming blades look for their own opening.

◆ Melee Strike (Overdrive): Bumper Ram: 1d20 + 11 ⇒ (7) + 11 = 18
Damage (B): 2d8 + 4 + 3 ⇒ (5, 8) + 4 + 3 = 20

◆ Melee Strike (Overdrive): Mower Blade (Agile)(Finesse): 1d20 + 11 - 4 ⇒ (20) + 11 - 4 = 27Damage (S): 2d6 + 4 + 3 ⇒ (3, 2) + 4 + 3 = 12

Really loud heavy metal music pumps into your brains, somehow coming from Meat Wagon's exhaust. They're having a very good time. I love the sound of metal hitting meat, ooo baby!

◆ Melee Strike (Overdrive): Bumper Ram: 1d20 + 11 ⇒ (15) + 11 = 26 Damage (B): 2d8 + 4 + 3 ⇒ (5, 8) + 4 + 3 = 20

◆ Melee Strike (Overdrive): Mower Blade (Agile)(Finesse): 1d20 + 11 - 4 ⇒ (4) + 11 - 4 = 11 Damage (S): 2d6 + 4 + 3 ⇒ (5, 4) + 4 + 3 = 16

If the first two strikes down red Meat Wagon's third action will be to pursue purple 25'. Otherwise will make the 3rd strike below.

Well that was too easy. You're next.

Last Attack Target: Green 1, Purple 2: 1d2 ⇒ 2

Meat Wagon obliges, lurching at yellow with his reinforced bumper, old bits of dried carrion decorating it like one hell of a Halloween display.

◆ Melee Strike (Overdrive): Bumper Ram vs OG?: 1d20 + 11 ⇒ (20) + 11 = 31
Damage (B): 2d8 + 4 + 3 ⇒ (1, 4) + 4 + 3 = 12

He follows up with the mower blades, adding in an extra pass for good measure, he likes a fine mulch.

◆ Melee Strike (Overdrive): Mower Blade (Agile)(Finesse) vs OG?: 1d20 + 11 - 4 ⇒ (20) + 11 - 4 = 27
Damage (S): 2d6 + 4 + 3 ⇒ (5, 6) + 4 + 3 = 18

◆ Melee Strike (Overdrive): Mower Blade (Agile)(Finesse) vs OG?: 1d20 + 11 - 8 ⇒ (20) + 11 - 8 = 23
Damage (S): 2d6 + 4 + 3 ⇒ (2, 2) + 4 + 3 = 11

Oh my doesn't this feel nice...

The display is awe inspiring and frightening at the same time as Clover and the red guard are caught in the heavy red spray.

That is a first for me.. triple natch!

I love that spray, so much I think I know what love is.

Tires squeal and Meat Wagon ◆ hurtles towards big bruuty with the greatclub.

◆ Melee Strike (Overdrive): Bumper Ram: 1d20 + 11 ⇒ (11) + 11 = 22
Damage (B): 2d8 + 4 + 3 ⇒ (5, 5) + 4 + 3 = 17

Insecure much?

◆ Melee Strike (Overdrive): Bumper Ram: 1d20 + 11 ⇒ (14) + 11 = 25
Damage (B): 2d8 + 4 + 3 ⇒ (1, 3) + 4 + 3 = 11

◆ Melee Strike (Overdrive): Mower Blade (Agile)(Finesse): 1d20 + 11 - 4 ⇒ (5) + 11 - 4 = 12
Damage (S): 2d6 + 4 + 3 ⇒ (3, 4) + 4 + 3 = 14

Time to collect more red bits for my chassis. Soon I will have enough to reach full power!

Meat Wagon roars his engines and ◆ charges at the red human in AI rage!

◆ Melee Strike (Overdrive): Bumper Ram vs OG?: 1d20 + 11 ⇒ (14) + 11 = 25
Damage (B): 2d8 + 4 + 3 ⇒ (3, 5) + 4 + 3 = 15

◆ Melee Strike (Overdrive): Mower Blade (Agile)(Finesse) vs OG?: 1d20 + 11 - 4 ⇒ (19) + 11 - 4 = 26
Damage (S): 2d6 + 4 + 3 ⇒ (1, 5) + 4 + 3 = 13

I always know what to do here.

◆ Melee Strike (Overdrive): Bumper Ram: 1d20 + 11 ⇒ (1) + 11 = 12 Damage (B): 2d8 + 4 + 3 ⇒ (8, 6) + 4 + 3 = 21

◆ Melee Strike (Overdrive): Mower Blade (Agile)(Finesse): 1d20 + 11 - 4 ⇒ (1) + 11 - 4 = 8 Damage (S): 2d6 + 4 + 3 ⇒ (4, 1) + 4 + 3 = 12

Its pretty obvious those strikes were a ploy, made in jest.

Who lives in a stone box under the street...

◆ Melee Strike (Overdrive): Bumper Ram vs OG?: 1d20 + 11 ⇒ (11) + 11 = 22
Damage (B): 2d8 + 4 + 3 ⇒ (5, 8) + 4 + 3 = 20

◆ Melee Strike (Overdrive): Mower Blade (Agile)(Finesse) vs OG?: 1d20 + 11 - 4 ⇒ (6) + 11 - 4 = 13
Damage (S): 2d6 + 4 + 3 ⇒ (6, 5) + 4 + 3 = 18

Orange man!

No

He's going to blame that scratch on me again, I just know it. The wheat thresher goes to work, giving Salera a little puff of smoke in thanks for clearing a path for destruction as he moves up ramming into orange before the mower blades engage.

◆ Melee Strike (Overdrive): Bumper Ram: 1d20 + 11 ⇒ (12) + 11 = 23
Damage (B): 2d8 + 4 + 3 ⇒ (5, 4) + 4 + 3 = 16

◆ Melee Strike (Overdrive): Mower Blade (Agile)(Finesse): 1d20 + 11 - 4 ⇒ (15) + 11 - 4 = 22 Damage (S): 2d6 + 4 + 3 ⇒ (5, 3) + 4 + 3 = 15

MORE MULCH! Meat Wagon's engines seem to scream as the blood spray hits and the satisfying sounds of a body pulled through a wood chipper echoes through the room.

Without Stitch even saying a word his AI warbot lurches towards the fresh target: yellow mage.

Stitch: "Ok ok, avoid the red downed one, yes the yellow is fine!" Stitch ◆◆ commands and ◆ raises his splatter shield.

Meat's tires spin and it quickly covers the ground to the yellow target attempting to soften them up before mulching them later.

◆◆ Double Move

◆ Melee Strike (Overdrive): Bumper Ram: 1d20 + 11 ⇒ (14) + 11 = 25
Damage (B): 2d8 + 4 + 3 ⇒ (1, 4) + 4 + 3 = 12

Best be quick before that toothy set of luggage gets all the sticky red fluids for itself.

Meat Wagon revvs its engines, trying to intimidate orange before giving them the 'high, low' treatment.

Trained in Intimidate(CHA): Demoralize: 1d20 + 7 ⇒ (8) + 7 = 15

◆ Melee Strike (Overdrive): Bumper Ram: 1d20 + 11 ⇒ (19) + 11 = 30
Damage (B): 2d8 + 4 + 3 ⇒ (2, 8) + 4 + 3 = 17

◆ Melee Strike (Overdrive): Mower Blade (Agile)(Finesse): 1d20 + 11 - 4 ⇒ (19) + 11 - 4 = 26
Damage (S): 2d6 + 4 + 3 ⇒ (5, 3) + 4 + 3 = 15

There's a lot of sticky red fluids spraying everywhere now. He should have been scared.

The day finally comes when Meat Wagon gets to play. His too long idle engines roar into overdrive, lurching ahead to try smearing purple. Smash, Smear, Smoosh!

◆ Melee Strike (Overdrive): Bumper Ram: 1d20 + 11 ⇒ (10) + 11 = 21
Damage (B): 2d8 + 4 + 3 ⇒ (1, 1) + 4 + 3 = 9

Meat Wagon looks longingly at the now smashed wall. Their engine rpm dropping very low as they reverse slowly as to not be in the way.

Meat ◆ rolls up, still smoking, and tries to flatten and mulch the skull's square.

◆ Melee Strike (Overdrive): Bumper Ram: 1d20 + 11 ⇒ (10) + 11 = 21
Damage (B): 2d8 + 4 + 3 ⇒ (1, 1) + 4 + 3 = 9

◆ Melee Strike (Overdrive): Mower Blade (Agile)(Finesse): 1d20 + 11 - 4 ⇒ (9) + 11 - 4 = 16
Damage (S): 2d6 + 4 + 3 ⇒ (5, 1) + 4 + 3 = 13

The pointy eared one has good eyes... Meat ◆ rolls up, still smoking, and tries to flatten and mulch the skull's square.

Flat Check: 1d20 ⇒ 17
◆ Melee Strike (Overdrive): Bumper Ram: 1d20 + 11 ⇒ (3) + 11 = 14
Damage (B): 2d8 + 4 + 3 ⇒ (3, 8) + 4 + 3 = 18

Flat Check: 1d20 ⇒ 1
◆ Melee Strike (Overdrive): Mower Blade (Agile)(Finesse): 1d20 + 11 - 4 ⇒ (10) + 11 - 4 = 17
Damage (S): 2d6 + 4 + 3 ⇒ (2, 1) + 4 + 3 = 10

Yes Mi Lord

Meat Wagon blindly targets the square, hoping to get lucky.

Flat Check: 1d20 ⇒ 1
◆ Melee Strike: Bumper Ram: 1d20 + 11 ⇒ (20) + 11 = 31 Damage (B): 2d8 + 4 ⇒ (3, 3) + 4 = 10

Flat Check: 1d20 ⇒ 13
◆ Melee Strike: Mower Blade (Agile)(Finesse): 1d20 + 11 - 4 ⇒ (11) + 11 - 4 = 18 Damage (S): 2d6 + 4 ⇒ (5, 6) + 4 = 15

Hero Point: Flat Check on Attack 1: 1d20 ⇒ 19

Meat Wagon roars his engines and lurches ahead towards the glittery tart, intent to do gruesome, yet fun work.

Flat Check: 1d20 ⇒ 11
◆ Melee Strike (Overdrive): Bumper Ram: 1d20 + 11 ⇒ (3) + 11 = 14
Damage (B): 2d8 + 4 + 3 ⇒ (2, 4) + 4 + 3 = 13

Flat Check: 1d20 ⇒ 12
◆ Melee Strike (Overdrive): Mower Blade (Agile)(Finesse): 1d20 + 11 - 4 ⇒ (17) + 11 - 4 = 24
Damage (S): 2d6 + 4 + 3 ⇒ (1, 3) + 4 + 3 = 11

The bumper fails to land but the mulching blade may have...

Meat Wagon Mash Up!

You all faintly hear the sounds of screaming guitars and the deep thrum of a double base in your ears as Meat Wagon rolls ahead and tries to trample and mulch the square.

Flat Check DC11: 1d20 ⇒ 7
◆ Melee Strike (Overdrive): Bumper Ram: 1d20 + 11 ⇒ (14) + 11 = 25 Damage (B): 2d8 + 4 + 3 ⇒ (5, 8) + 4 + 3 = 20

Flat Check DC11: 1d20 ⇒ 10
◆ Melee Strike (Overdrive): Mower Blade (Agile)(Finesse): 1d20 + 11 - 4 ⇒ (15) + 11 - 4 = 22 Damage (S): 2d6 + 4 + 3 ⇒ (6, 3) + 4 + 3 = 16

The carnage was impressive.. in our minds!

Meat Wagon gets one action to stride or strike per round even if not commanded.

The wagon known as Meat lurches forward a bit, trying to ram the woman in white with his bumper.

◆ Melee Strike (Overdrive): Bumper Ram: 1d20 + 11 ⇒ (11) + 11 = 22
Damage (B): 2d8 + 4 + 3 ⇒ (4, 3) + 4 + 3 = 14

Finally we get to kill something.

Meat Wagon wastes no time, dropping down into low gear and trying his patented: 'flatten them with my bumper' maneuver.

◆ Melee Strike (Overdrive): Bumper Ram: 1d20 + 11 ⇒ (10) + 11 = 21
Damage (B): 2d8 + 4 + 3 ⇒ (7, 3) + 4 + 3 = 17

Meat Wagon pulses his mower blades with way too much excitement.

Intimidate: 1d20 + 7 ⇒ (10) + 7 = 17

A race? I love to race.

Smoke churns and wheels spin for traction, the race is on! Meat Wagon barrels around the corner on two wheels, ◆◆ closing the distance quickly. They launch another chunk of iron slag at the woman's head.

◆ Ranged Strike (Overdrive): Mini Catapult: 30': 1d20 + 11 ⇒ (5) + 11 = 16 Damage (B): 2d4 + 2 + 3 ⇒ (3, 1) + 2 + 3 = 9

Meat Wagon's engines roar, ◆ surging it forward into the red woman, or near her at least.

◆ Melee Strike (Overdrive): Bumper Ram: 1d20 + 11 ⇒ (5) + 11 = 16
Damage (B): 2d8 + 4 + 3 ⇒ (7, 2) + 4 + 3 = 16

One of the exhaust tubes pointed towards Bun Bun expels a strange smelling smoke, like someone quickly burnt a tightly packed wad of strange herbs using some sort of accelerant. It smells odd but seems to have some reinvigorating effects on the poppet. Meat Wagon though seems to become less stable.

Searing Restoration on Bun: 3d10 ⇒ (10, 10, 6) = 26
Unstable Flat Check DC15: 1d20 ⇒ 13

Finally, this guy talks too much.

Meaty ◆◆ double moves towards Red but can't quite reach her. Instead the intelligent invention clicks back its mini catapult and launches a jagged rock!

◆ Ranged Strike (Overdrive): Mini Catapult: 30': 1d20 + 11 ⇒ (2) + 11 = 13 Damage (B): 2d4 + 2 + 3 ⇒ (3, 2) + 2 + 3 = 10

Finally, some action. Loud and angry really does look like a goblin now though..

Meat Wagon lurches forward into green before the slowly building rumble of freshly sharpened lawn mower blades kick in from underneath.

◆ Melee Strike (Overdrive): Bumper Ram: 1d20 + 11 ⇒ (20) + 11 = 31
Damage (B): 2d8 + 4 + 3 ⇒ (4, 2) + 4 + 3 = 13

◆ Melee Strike (Overdrive): Mower Blade (Agile)(Finesse): 1d20 + 11 - 4 ⇒ (10) + 11 - 4 = 17 Damage (S): 2d6 + 4 + 3 ⇒ (4, 2) + 4 + 3 = 13

Squeals tires westward

Having no direct commands Meat Wagon stays on autopilot, launching another rock at the rot monster.

Ranged (Overdrive): Mini Catapult: 30': 1d20 + 11 + 1 ⇒ (13) + 11 + 1 = 25
Damage (B): 2d4 + 2 + 5 ⇒ (4, 1) + 2 + 5 = 12

Meat Wagon squeals his tires and tries to ram the white rot monster as he ◆ repositions himself a bit out of reach to the northwest.

◆ Melee (Overdrive): Bumper Ram, Bless: 1d20 + 11 + 1 ⇒ (13) + 11 + 1 = 25
Damage (B): 2d8 + 4 + 5 ⇒ (7, 5) + 4 + 5 = 21